’T WUZ TEH NITE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WHEN ALL THRU UR BASE

All teh noms haz been eated and putted in place;

TEH STOCKINGS WUZ HUNG BY TEH CHIMNEY WIF CARE,

IN HOPEZ DAT ST. Ceiling cat SOON WUD BE THAR;

TEH poor silleh walrus wuz SNUG IN hiz BEDZ,

WHILE VISHUNS OV bucket DANCD IN hiz HEAD;

AN MAMMA IN HER ’KERCHIEF, AN I IN MAH CAP,

HAD JUS SETTLD R BRAINS fur LONG WINTR’S NAP,

WHEN OUT ON TEH LAWN THAR AROSE SUCH CLATTR,

I SPRings FRUM TEH BED to sees WUT WUZ TEH MATTeR.

AWAY to TEH WINDOWs I FLEWed LIEK FLASH,

TORE OPEN TEH SHUTTERS AN THREW UP maH SASH.

TEH MOON ON TEH BOOB OV TEH NEW-FALLEN SNOWz

GAEV TEH LUSTRE OV MID-DAI to stuffs BELOW,

WHEN, WUT to MAH WONDERIN EYEZ SHUD APPEAR,

BUT ittehbitteh SLEIGH, AN 8 TINY RaINDEeR,

WIF big yellow eyez and whiet furz on his back,

I KNEW teh IN MOMENT IT wuz ceiling cat!

Liek kitteh for cheezeburger, HIS COURSERS THEY CAME,

AN HE WHISTLD, AN SHOUTD, AN CALLD THEM BY NAYM;

“NAO, DASHR! NAO, DANCR! NAO, PRANCR AN VIXuN!

ON, COMET! ON, CooPID! ON, DONeR AN BLITZuN!

to TEH TOP OV TEH WALL! Now doos it wiv feelings!

NAO DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY up to teh ceilings!”

AS noms buhfore hungree happycat FLY,

WHEN he meet wiv a cheezeburger, MOUNT to TEH SKY;

SO UP to TEH base-TOP TEH raindeers THEY FLoo,

WIF TEH SLEIGH FULL OV TOYS, AN ceiling cat too.

AN DEN, IN teh TWINKLIN, I HEers ON maH ROOF

TEH PRANCIN AN PAWIN OV ceiling cat HOOf.

AS I DREW IN MAH HEAD, AN WUZ TURNIN AROUND,

DOWN from teh Ceilingz he CAME WIF a BOUND.

HE WUZ DRESD ALL IN FUR, FRUM HIS HEAD to HIS FOOTs,

AN HIS CLOTHEZ WUZ ALL TARNISHD WIF plasterZ AN SOOT;

A BUNDLE OV nomS HE HAD FLUNG ON HIS BAK,

AN HE LOOKD LIEK a PEDLR JUS OPENIN' HIS PACKz.

HIS EYEZ—HOW THEY TWINKLD! HIS wiskerZ HOW MERRY!

HIS CHEEKZ WUZ LIEK ROSEZ, HIS NOSE LIEK CHERRY!

HIS DROLL LIL MOUTH WUZ DRAWN UP LIEK uh BOW

AN TEH BEARD OV HIS CHIN WUZ AS WITE AS TEH SNOW;

TEH STUMP OV PIPE HE Holdz TIte IN HIS TEEf,

AN TEH SMOKE IT ENCIRCLD HIS HEAD LIEK a WREef;

HE HAves a BROAD FACE AN LIL ROUND BELLY,

DAT SHakes WHEN HE LAffed, LIEK BOWLFUL OV JELLY.

HE WUZ Stealfy AN PLUMP, RITE sneakY OLD kitteh,

AN I LAffs WHEN I SAW HIM, IN SPITE OV self pitties;

teh WINK OV HIS EYE AN TWIST OV HIS HEAD,

SOON Gives ME to KNOwz I HAD NOTHIN to DRED;

HE SPOKE NOT uh WERD, BUT WENT STRAIGHT to HIS Workz,

AN FILLD ALL maH STOCKINGS; DEN TURNs WIF uh JERK,

AN LAYIN HIS paws ASIDE OV HIS NOSE,

AN GIVIN uh NOD, UP TEH Ceiling HE ROSE!

HE SPRANG to HIS SLEIGH, to HIS TEAM GAEV uh WHISTLE,

AN AWAY THEY ALL FLies LIEK TEH DOWNs on uh THISTLE,

BUT I HEers HIM EXCLAIM, ERE HE DROOV OUT OV SIGHT,

“HAPPEH CRISMAS to ALL, AN to ALL GUD-NITE.”

translation by PJB