Agenda

• Analytical Report
• Slides
• Exercise 5.3
• Letter Writing (20 Minutes)
• Cluster Diagramming vs Outlining
• Proofreading
• Analytical Report
 Chapter 5

Preparing to Write
Business Messages

Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication:

Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006
 Business writing is . . .
• Purposeful. It solves problems and
conveys information.
• Economical. It is concise.
• Reader oriented. It focuses on the
receiver, not the sender.
 Guffey’s 3-x-3
Writing Process
• Phase 1: Prewriting
Analyzing, anticipating, adapting

• Phase 2: Writing
Researching, organizing, composing

• Phase 3: Revising
Revising, proofreading, evaluating
 Analyzing and Anticipating
• Analyze the task
Identify the purpose

• Anticipate the audience

Primary receivers?
Secondary receivers?

• Select the best channel

Importance of the message?
Feedback required?
Permanent record required?
Cost of the channel?
Degree of formality?
Adapting to Task and Audience

• Spotlight receiver benefits (the warranty

starts working for you immediately).
• Cultivate the “you” view (you will receive
your order).
• Use sensitive language avoiding gender,
race, age, and disability biases (office
workers, not office girls).
Adapting to Task and Audience

• Express thoughts positively (you will be

happy to, not you won't be sorry that).
• Use familiar words (salary, not
remuneration).
• Use precise, vigorous words (fax me, not
contact me).
 Developing Reader Benefits

Sender-focused Receiver-focused
“We are requiring all “Please complete these
staffers to complete these forms so that you will be
forms in compliance with eligible for health and
company policy.” dental benefits.”
 Developing Reader Benefits

Sender-focused
Receiver-focused
“Because we need more
space for our new “You can buy a year’s
inventory, we’re staging a supply of paper and pay
two-for-one sale.” for only six months’
worth during our two-
for-one sale.”
 Hidden Negative Meanings
You are wrong . . . .
(I am right.)
You do not understand . . . .
(You are not very bright.)
Your delay . . . .
(You are at fault.)
You forgot to . . . .
(You are not only inefficient but also stupid
and careless.)
 Use Bias-Free Language
Gender-Biased Improved
female attorney attorney
waitress server
man hours working hours
workman worker

Biased
Each employee has his ID card.

Improved
Each employee has an ID card.
All employees have ID cards.
 Use Courteous Language

Less Courteous
Everyone must return these forms by January 1.
More Courteous
Please return the forms by January 1.

Less Courteous
This is the second time I’ve had to write!
Why can’t you get my account straight?
More Courteous
Attached is my previous letter.
Please help me straighten out this account.
Use Simple, Familiar Language

Unfamiliar
We need to effectuate improvement of our
manuals to better elucidate our training goals.
Familiar
We need to improve our manuals to clarify
our training goals.

Unfamiliar
Sales reps generally conjecture when making
sales projections for homogeneous territories.
Familiar
Sales reps generally guess when projecting
sales in similar territories.
 Adapting to Legal
Responsibilities
• Avoid litigation by using especially
careful language in four areas:
• Investment information
• Safety information
• Marketing information
• Human resources information
 Chapter 6

Organizing and Writing

Business Messages

Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication:

Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006
 Formal Research Methods
• Access electronically – Internet,
databases, CD-ROMs
• Search manually – books, articles, and
other secondary sources
• Investigate primary sources – interviews,
surveys, focus groups
• Experiment scientifically – tests with
experimental and control groups
 Organizing Data
• Listing and outlining
• Grouping ideas into patterns.
• Direct pattern for receptive audiences
• Indirect pattern for unreceptive audiences
Audience Response Determines
Pattern of Organization
If pleased If mildly interested If neutral

DIRECT PATTERN

Good News or
Main Idea
Audience Response Determines
Pattern of Organization
If unwilling or If displeased or If hostile
uninterested disappointed

INDIRECT PATTERN

Bad News or
Main Idea
 Using a Cluster Diagram to
Generate Ideas
1. In the center of a clean sheet of paper, write
your topic name and circle it.
2. Around the circle, record any topic ideas that
pop into your mind.
3. Circle each separate area.
4. Avoid censoring ideas.
5. If ideas seem related, join them with lines;
don’t spend time on organization just yet.
 Organizing Cluster Diagram
Ideas Into Subclusters
Tips
• Analyze the idea generated in the original
cluster diagram.
• Cross out ideas that are obviously irrelevant;
simplify and clarify.
• Add new ideas that seem appropriate.
• Study the ideas for similarities.
 Organizing Cluster Diagram
Ideas Into Subclusters
Tips
• Group similar ideas into classifications (such as
Purpose, Content, Development, and Form).
• If the organization seems clear at this point,
prepare an outline.
• For further visualization, make subcluster circles
around each classification.
Creating Effective Sentences
• Recognize phrases and clauses.
• Use short sentences.
• Emphasize important ideas.
• Use the active voice for most sentences.
• Use the passive voice to deemphasize
the performer and/or to be tactful.
• Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
 Recognizing Phrases and
Clauses
• Clauses have subjects and verbs;
phrases do not.
• Independent clauses are complete;
dependent clauses are not.
• Phrases and dependent clauses cannot
function as sentences.
• Independent Clause: They were eating cold pizza.
• Dependent Clause: that they want to return for a refund
• Phrase: to return for a refund
 Using Short Sentences
Sentence Length Comprehension Rate
8 words 100%
15 words 90%
19 words 80%
28 words 50%

Source: American Press Institute

 Emphasizing Important Ideas
• Position the most important idea
at the beginning of the sentence.
• Make sure the most important
idea is the subject of the
sentence.
• Place the main idea in a short
sentence.
 Use the Active Voice for
Most Sentences
• Active voice: We lost money.
• Active voice: I sent the e-mail message
yesterday.
(The subject is the performer.)
 Use the Passive Voice To
Deemphasize the Performer
and/or To Be Tactful
• Passive voice: Money was lost (by us).
• Passive voice: The e-mail message was
sent yesterday (by me).
(Passive voice test: Ask “By whom?” If you can fill in
the performer, the verb is probably in the passive
voice.)
 Effective Paragraphs
• Drafting effective paragraphs
• Discuss only one topic in each paragraph.
• Arrange sentences in a strategic plan.
• Link ideas to build coherence.
• Use transitional expressions for coherence.
• Compose short paragraphs for effective
business messages.
 Effective Paragraphs
• Discussing only one topic in each
paragraph
• Group similar ideas together.
• Start a new paragraph for each new topic.
 Effective Paragraphs
• Arranging Sentences in a Strategic Plan
• Direct Plan: main sentence followed by
supporting sentences (for defining,
classifying, illustrating, and describing ideas)
• Pivoting Plan: limiting sentences, main
sentence, supporting sentences (for
comparing and contrasting)
 Effective Paragraphs
• Using transitional expressions for
coherence
• Recommended expressions:
• additionally
• also
• as a result
• for example
• in other words
• therefore
 Chapter 7

Revising Business
Messages

Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication:

Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006
 Revising for Clarity,
Conciseness, and Readability
• Keep it simple.
• Keep it conversational.
• Remove opening fillers.
• Eliminate redundancies.
• Reduce compound prepositions.
• Purge empty words.
 Revising for Clarity,
Conciseness, and Readability
• Kick the noun habit.
• Dump trite “business” phrases.
• Develop parallelism (balanced
construction).
• Apply graphic highlighting.
• Measure readability.
 Keep it simple.
Avoid indirect, pompous language.
• Poor: It would not be inadvisable for you to
affix your signature at this point in time.
• Improved: You may sign now.
 Keep it conversational.
• Formal: Our Accounting Department takes
this opportunity to inform you that we have
credited your account for the
aforementioned sum.
• Conversational: We have credited your
account for $100.
 Remove opening fillers.
• Wordy: There are four new menu items we
must promote.
• Improved: We must promote four new
menu items.
 Eliminate redundancies.
• collect together
• contributing factor
• personal opinion
• perfectly clear
 Reduce compound
prepositions.
• at such time Reduce to when.
• at which time Reduce to when.
• due to the fact that Reduce to because.
• inasmuch as Reduce to because.
 Purge empty words.
• As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree
of profits sagged.

• This is to inform you that we have a toll-free

service line.

• Not all students who are registered will

attend.
 Purge empty words.
• As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree
of profits sagged.

• This is to inform you that we have a toll-free

service line.

• Not all students who are [registered] will

attend.
 Purge empty words.
• As for athletic shoes, profits sagged.

• We have a toll-free service line.

• Not all [registered] students will attend.

 Dump trite "business"
phrases.
• Trite: Pursuant to your request, enclosed
please find a job application.
• Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a
job application.
Develop parallelism (balanced
construction).
• Not parallel: We can collect information, store
it, and later it can be updated.
• Parallel: We can collect, store, and update
information.
Use Numbered Lists for “High
Skim” Value
Follow these steps to archive a document:
1. Select the document.
2. Select a folder.
3. Provide a file name.
4. Click “Save.”
 Use Bulleted Lists for “High
Skim” Value
Consumers expect the following information at
product Web sites:
• Price
• Quality
• Performance
• Availability
 The Complete Process

1.
1. Prewriting
Prewriting
Analyze
Analyze
Anticipate
Anticipate
Adapt
Adapt
 The Complete Process

1.
1. Prewriting
Prewriting 2.
2. Writing
Writing
Analyze
Analyze Research
Research
Anticipate
Anticipate Organize
Organize
Adapt
Adapt Compose
Compose
 The Complete Process

1.
1. Prewriting
Prewriting 2.
2. Writing
Writing 3.
3.Revising
Revising
Analyze
Analyze Research
Research Revise
Revise
Anticipate
Anticipate Organize
Organize Proofread
Proofread
Adapt
Adapt Compose
Compose Evaluate
Evaluate
 1. Prewriting
• Analyze: Define your purpose. Select
the most appropriate form (channel).
Visualize the audience.
• Anticipate: Put yourself in the reader’s
position and predict his or her reaction
to this message.
• Adapt: Consider ways to shape the
message to benefit the reader, using his
or her language.
 2. Writing
• Research: Collect data formally and
informally. Generate ideas by
brainstorming and clustering.
• Organize: Group ideas into a list or an
outline. Select the direct or indirect
strategy.
• Compose: Write first draft, preferably on
a computer.
 3. Revising
• Revise: Revise for clarity, tone,
conciseness, and vigor. Revise to
improve readability.
• Proofread: Proofread to verify spelling,
grammar, punctuation, and format.
Check for overall appearance.
• Evaluate: Ask yourself whether the final
product will achieve its purpose.
 Try This
• Read the following sentence counting the
F’s as you go:

• Federal fuses are the result of years of

scientific study combined with the years of
experience

• Write the number of F’s Here: _______

 Try This
• Now read the sentence backwards
counting the F’s:

• Federal fuses are the result of years of

scientific study combined with the years of
experience

• Write the number of F’s Here: _______