Perfume

A face stares out at me from under the covers, I don’t recognize. Lovely eyes, I don’t know at all. The
warmth of the room is suddenly taken away, and i feel a shiver run down my spine. There is something I
want to remember, but I can’t. I try harder, but all I feel is the numbness of a mind drained of all its
thoughts.

I stand up and let my stupor guide me around the room for a while. Grabbing the whiskey, I pour some
in a glass. Desperate to burn my throat back to sense, I stand there looking out at the busy street, some
15 storeys down. Not sure if “this is just a feeling” that I have, I try to shake myself out of this stupor. Yet
again, nothing happens. I can hear a buzz in my ears. But then, I think it’s been there for some time now.

All I keep seeing are flashes of a distant place. And I can’t recognize the faces in these as well. Flashes,
I’m sure, that belong to a different place and time. Sometimes I think I see a lot of younger people in
them. They all seem happy.

And the next thing I know is I have been taken back to that morning. The very one which changed
everything forever. Where, a receding smell of yours, still lingers. I think it’s your perfume I can smell.
And then suddenly, an avalanche of beautiful light floods my eyes completely. It blinds me for a
moment. And then it’s gone, and the intense pain starts all over again.

I drown the whiskey in me, in one gulp. The throat feels a sudden sting and yet I can’t make sense of any
of this. It is a ritual that my mind follows, and on which I absolutely have no control. It is just like walking
the streets with her. She would let you hold her hand but not quite guide her through. And you’d still
love her for doing that. I pour myself another drink, smiling.

As the whiskey hits me numb I slide under the sheets, undetected. I always try not to disturb them when
they are sleeping. Closing my eyes I think to myself, “.. but your perfume… it still lingers on me.”