Are you trying to change a

Zebra into a Horse?

Stop! And read this article if you have someone in your life that
needs to change!

Becca Jean Stephan

http://www.AMothersRevolution.com
Are you trying to change a Zebra into a Horse?

It is funny how, we the owners of only our lives, continue to try to change others when we simply
cannot. Years ago, anyone that knew me would have called me a complete ‘Control Freak’. Since the
death of our twin daughters, Olivia and Abby in 2003, I realized that I cannot change a Zebra into a
Horse. Sometimes I still fall back a bit but 99% of my days have the understanding that even if you got
rid of the stripes, it is still a Zebra!

Many of you out there have something in your life that you have no control over that you are still trying
to change and I am here to tell you that ‘IT IS WHAT IT IS!’ Stop wasting your time because it is up to
the other person to change for themselves not you or anything else.

I have been through so many trials and tribulations in my 40 years. I can tell you the absolute truth that I
could change all 500 Zebras into a horse. I have a couple Zebras in my life right now that still have stripes
and they will not ever become a horse.

So what do you do? What does all of this mean? Let me give you a few examples to help you
understand this:

A. You are dating or married to a woman or a man that has a couple of things that simply anger you
about them! Maybe they are drinking, smoking pot, not coming home when they should be home,
cheating on you, they have anger issues, etc. You have been trying to help them change for years
now and it seems to work when you have had enough and threaten to leave but, surprise, a week
or two later there they are back to their old tricks again.

What do you do?

Well, what you have always done never worked right? Of course not or you would not be agreeing
with me right now. So, what is the answer? It is actually a simple answer but hard to do. You need to
decide if you can live with this the rest of your life or leave. They are both life changing decisions but
you need to way them out. Is it better for you to leave or stay and deal with it? There is always hope
that someone will change because God can do all things, but, God knows that we all have free will so
it may be better to take your hope somewhere else.

Note: If you are in an abusive relationship where you are being hit or your children are you should go
to your nearest shelter or someone you trust. It is never easy to leave but you must for your safety!

B. You have a family member or friend that is choosing the wrong road for them and you know this
but they will not listen to you! You do not know what to do because it hurts you to see them like
this.

What do you do?

As human beings, they have the right to live the way they want to no matter how much it hurts you. It
is their God given right to have free will to make decisions that are good or bad and they alone will
face the consequences. It hurts! I know!

My Mother was diagnosed with COPD (A Deadly lung and heart disease) recently and had to be in
ICU, the Hospital, and then a rehabilitation center for 3 weeks. She smoked cigarettes for 35 years
and marijuana for 40 years. She gave herself a 300% more chance of getting COPD.
Are you trying to change a Zebra into a Horse?

As I asked her the other day what her plan was when she was able to go home she stated that she
would not smoke cigarettes but would continue to smoke pot and have a beer or two a night.

This floored me! She has stage 3 to 4 of this disease. I quit smoking cigarettes the minute I saw her
suffer like this. I also do not use drugs! I cannot imagine her going home and challenging her life like
this, HOWEVER, it does not matter what I want her to do nor does it matter what anyone else wishes
for her. IT IS WHAT IT IS! She is a grown woman and she will do what she wants to do, even if that
means death.

Now, some have said that this is not fair to me because I will be the one to pick up the pieces. Well,
they are right! But, since when did anything become fair? Ah-ha, you know what I am talking about!
Life is not fair at all for anyone! So why is this any different? I just have to pray, not enable, and
move on.

C. Your teenage daughter or son refuses to listen, talks back, does what he/she wants to and you
have simply had it! They may be having sex, using drugs, or drinking. They may be hanging
around the wrong people, getting bad grades, or even are abusive.

What do you do?

I have two teen daughters and believe me this is not an easy task. All parents think they have control
over their teens. Guess what? You don’t when they are not around you and when they are around you,
well, you have some control and that is your home but it is not that Zebra child!

The first thing that you need to get straight here is that you are a Zebra too! So, with that said, they
cannot change you into a horse either! What I mean is that this is your home and you have rules that
they cannot change. So stand up to them when it comes to your rules in your home and if they do not
like SO WHAT!

You can not mold this teenager anymore. What you have taught them up to this point has to be good
enough for you. I always have said that by the time they are 15 or so they are hard as a rock! You
have to not let go but trust GOD! Trust that He will protect them and everything that you have taught
them up to this point will linger in his/her head when making a tough decision when not at home.

But Becca, my teen is so disrespectful and I just want to smack them! LOL, I know so do I but what
does that really do? Nothing! All it does is fuel their fire to leave or be worse.

This is what you should do! If their actions are not good then you have no obligation to please them
with cell phone, computers, driving them anywhere, lending them your car, giving them the keys to
their car, having friends over, taking them anywhere! Don’t let them even use the ‘old fashion phone’
you know, the one connected to our wall? Do not buy them anything but food and shelter! These
things are privileges not rights! Let me say this again, these are privileges NOT rights!

After awhile of this, they will get the point that they cannot change you into a horse!

So, in conclusion, live your life without the damaging effect of trying to always change a Zebra into a
Horse. It just does not work. Use that energy into bettering yourself. You can only control YOU!
Are you trying to change a Zebra into a Horse?

Why spend all of your life trying to change something you simply cannot. Only God can work
through these people. Pray and then pray some more that God will help them.

Do not become an enabler! What is an enabler? Someone who does not like what a person is doing
and still supports them. For example; you have an alcoholic husband and you hate it but yet you go
buy him some beer. Or, you have a teenager who has treated you poorly and yet you pay their cell
phone bill. Or, you have a Mother who chooses to smoke pot even though she has COPD, don’t say it
is ok, or hand her some money!

Worry about your own stripes and what they stand for! You are a Zebra too! You will never be a
Horse! Look at yourself and make the appropriate changes and you will automatically see a difference
in your own life and the choices you make. Your surrounding will change.

God Bless you all,

Becca Jean Stephan AKA I am a Zebra too!

http://www.incomerevolution.info

http://www.AMothersRevolution.com