Professional Documents
Culture Documents
YOU R L I F E
Pl ay to w i n and b e c ome a
champion in l i fe
THE GAME OF
YOU R L I F E
Pl ay to w i n and b e c ome a
champion in l i fe
REX S. GIBSON
Copyright © 2010 by Dr. Rex S. Gibson
This book was printed in the United States of America
No Limit Publishing
No Limit Enterprises, LLC
1601 E 69th Street, Suite 200
Sioux Falls, SD 57108
The Game of Your Life
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Dedication 7
Foreword 9
Introduction 13
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Rex S. Gibson
Bonus Section
Create Your Game and Map Out Your Plan for Success 191
Conclusion 211
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The Game of Your Life
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to all “Players” of The Game.
First and foremost, I would like to thank my beautiful wife Emily, for
without her help, I would never be the success that I am today. She has
been an inspiration as well as an incredible teammate. She has played every
position a player could…from bat boy, to player, to coach and confidant.
As the saying goes, behind every successful man, there is a great woman.
Thanks honey…I LOVE YOU!
This whole book would not be possible without my parents. They gave me
life and raised me with ethics and morals. They impressed upon me what
can be achieved through good ‘ol fashioned hard work and never wavered
from a “you can do anything” attitude. I draw strength from each of their
lives and find inspiration in their marriage. I love you Mom and Dad!
I want to say “Thank you” to all the coaches I’ve had throughout my life;
from my peewee baseball coach, to golf coaches, to inspirational life
coaches. No elite athlete gets to the top without the unsung heroism of
great coaches. So I raise my glass to ALL coaches and say, THANK YOU!
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Rex S. Gibson
Finally, I want to dedicate this book to all the readers. It is YOU I wrote
the book for. It is YOU who may be my next teammate in a business
venture or helping me coach my son’s baseball team. I trust you will find
inspiration and motivation to create your life how YOU see it. I know
you have the strength to achieve all that you set out to do…and you now
have the keys to unlock your potential. I postulate that you will flourish
and prosper in abundance through games and rocket to the top, standing
on the top podium receiving the gold medal in “The Game of Your Life”!
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The Game of Your Life
FOREWORD
Somewhere there is an Ultimate Creator. One absolute source from
which everything and everyone is created.
Everything that is comes from this Creator. It holds the stars in place
and gives the moon its light. It is powerful enough to give the sun
its intense energy and delicate enough to construct a rose in absolute
stillness. This creative source contains all energy that ever was or will
be, It is neither created or destroyed, it is the cause and effect of itself.
It not only has no end, but also no beginning - It Just Is. There is no
end to what this Creator can do.
For no other reason than for time’s sake, I will refer to this Creator as
“Grace” from this point on.
One day Grace decided to create a place to play (as Rex will tell you).
Now, where would the Grand Organizing Designer of the Universe to
go play? A Playground, of course!
But Grace first had to carefully select and create this playground. It
needed plenty of equipment so Grace happily began to construct the
entire thing. When all said and done, the playground had slippery
slides, giant swings, epic sandboxes, and a merry-go-round that would
blow your mind!
It had every single aspect in order to have a blast and play with no
worries...one problem, Grace needed some playmates! If you are all
alone on this epic playground you eventually become exhausted from
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One by one, Grace made the rules for each game. After completing the
game, Grace picked out a certain skills the players of the game needed
and with absolute certainty, made the PERFECT playmate to play the
game with. The combination could not be more perfect. Grace picked
the game and the playmate in such a way that they could both have fun
every day, constantly improve and above all - be Happy!
The perfect playmate is you. The perfect game is your life and the
playground is this entire planet. The purpose is to have fun while
playing with your playmates (especially the one who created you).
The point of me telling you this story is to prove the point that Rex states
many times throughout this book. His entire philosophy is based on
one basic premise: Life is A Game!
He teaches you how to take even the most stressful, serious, and
discouraging events in your life and how to transform those negative
experiences into an event that empowers you to become better, to
transform yourself and to Enjoy Everything!
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The Game of Your Life
The most important and amazing thing about all of this is how he
literally enjoys every single day. Sure he has days that are extremely
challenging and frankly where others may give up, but he takes on
seemingly impossible challenges, turns them into “games” (he’ll explain
that later in the book) and comes out on top a better businessman
and a better person. You see, the best measure of one’s character is
not how they behave when success is present, but rather how they act
when things get tough. Rex’s character is consistent and true in all
circumstances and his results prove it.
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The Game of Your Life
INTRODUCTION
When you are a kid, life is full of fun and of games. It doesn’t matter
what the game is. It could be red rover, dodge ball, checkers or baseball.
They simply enjoy the game. Children are not burdened by real
world problems like taxes, mortgages, car payments, jobs, marriages,
and money. Children go to school and look forward to their future.
Remember saying, “I can’t wait to be an adult”?
As we grow up, society forces us to get serious about life. They want us
to believe that it’s no longer fun and games. It is ingrained in us that
we need to fear the consequences of life and act with caution. Society
sucked the fun out of life. It stole the childlike dreams we had as kids.
Slowly you begin to believe that life really isn’t fun. All the fun and
games are gone. The reality, of course, is that the world didn’t change—
you did. The only distinction between the games that kids play and the
games that adults play is the considerations of the players. Life is full
of games, but when the game stops being fun, we lose interest and don’t
want to play anymore.
This book was written to help you understand how life IS a game, WHY
it is sometimes difficult, and HOW you can recapture your youthful
outlook on life to stack the deck in your favor so you can win the game
of life!
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This book will help you lay out the rules of the game, understand and
avoid the obstacles to success, and cultivate the skills necessary to keep
your eye on the ball to hit that home run, every time. By the end of
this book you will recapture the thrill of victory as you come across the
finish line first, relive the roar of the crowd as you catch the winning
touchdown pass, and revive the passion which helps every Olympian
to greatness. See you in the winner’s circle!
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1ST HALF OF THE GAME:
WHY WE FAIL AT THE
GAME OF LIFE
The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 1
FEAR: WHY WE CHOKE IN
THE BIG GAME
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength,
courage, and confidence in the doing.”
– Author Unknown
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takes the relentless abuse of sack after sack. Now obviously, we are
not discussing life and death, but when you see an angry, 6’4”, 350
pound man barreling toward you with the intention of mashing you
into the ground, you may feel that your life could be in danger. In the
first example, there is no threat. You are comfortable. The second
example creates a different feeling. Your sense of awareness would
shoot to another level. You would likely be making plans to protect
yourself to prevent injury or worse. You would be much more attuned
to the situation.
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The Game of Your Life
If at any time in your daily interactions with people you feel that this
need for survival is threatened, you instantly feel fear. If you truly dissect
the things in your life which bring you fear, then you will see that the
root of that fear is the tension between your desire to survive and the
threat that you will lose the means to ensure your survival.
– Fulton Oursler
But where does fear come from and why do we experience it? The
answer lies in failed success. We all want to succeed and success comes
from being RIGHT. The more often you are right, the more success
potential you possess. To the degree that a person experiences failure,
that person’s success potential is lessened. It is simple…if a person’s
ability to succeed is threatened, the individual feels fear. We will discuss
in later chapters how to overcome fear, but for now, knowledge is power.
Knowledge sheds light on once unknown subjects. With this small light,
we take our first step to conquering the game of life.
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The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 2
PROBLEMS: GAME STOPPERS
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of
thinking we used when we created them.”
– Albert Einstein
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Rex S. Gibson
or the information is mixed up, chances are you will find yourself stuck
with a problem because it is difficult to fix a situation that is confusing
or laden with bad information.
– Unknown
For instance, once I was lost in Chicago and needed to get to the
Comiskey Park. I was in a part of town that I was unfamiliar with and
decided that I needed to get directions, so I asked a random stranger. The
guy gave me directions which lead me 40 blocks in the wrong direction.
This created quite a problem because I was disoriented, confused, and
becoming stressed. Even though I did exactly what the stranger told
me to do, I was given incorrect information which resulted in an even
worse situation. Another common example that occurs in everyday life
is when a friend or family member gets into an argument and tells you
his or her side of the story. In recalling the incident, he or she may fail to
provide certain details, or even alter the incident to cast themselves in a
more favorable light. Due to the missing or altered information, you may
come to an incorrect conclusion. You might even create more conflicts,
and take actions based on altered information. In this case, you didn’t get
any wrong information; you just didn’t get all of it, which creates another
problem. It is equivalent to having to solve a mathematical equation
that never seems to come together correctly because you are missing a
key component. Like in the Star Trek movie when Spock comes back
from the future and talks to Scottie, who has been struggling with an
equation he couldn’t seem to solve. Spock reveals a missing piece to
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The Game of Your Life
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– Theodore Rubin
Now let’s take this concept to the next level. If personal responsibility
must be taken in order to exert control and influence over a particular
situation, then it stands to reason that in order to exert control overt
conflict or problems, one must assume responsibility for them as well.
This is to say that you must assume full responsibility for causing the
entire situation, both what you did to create it and any reaction from
others who are in the situation with you. A great example of this is when
a customer gets really heated up at a store clerk. If the clerk enters into
the conflict, then the match is ignited, and a fight begins, but if the
clerk simply states, “I can see why you feel that way, and I can help you
with this situation,” the argument is over. By accepting responsibility,
the clerk is able to be in control of the problem.
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The Game of Your Life
At this point, some of you might be thinking, “Hey Rex, are you saying
that it is best to cow down, roll over, and give up?” Let me be clear: I
am not suggesting that you admit you are wrong just to keep the peace.
I am suggesting that you simply realize that you have a part in any
conflict or problem. If you were mugged in an alley, the reality is that
you chose to walk instead of taking a cab. If someone is mad at you
because of a joke you made, you decided to tell the joke. If you run out
of gas, you were the one who passed three gas stations and chose not to
fill up when you had the chance. It is not easy to look at ourselves and
examine our role in the conflicts of our lives, and it takes real courage
to accept responsibility for causing the situations that give us trouble. It
is easy to lay the responsibility on someone else’s shoulders, but doing
so is for the weak and uncreative.
I suggest you look at the situation from the other person’s perspective.
Analyze the situation and ask, “What did I do to make this happen?” and
“What can I do to correct it?” Look for possible misunderstandings—
maybe you didn’t explain something well. The more you start to take
responsibly for the reactions you receive, the fewer problems you
will have with other people. Remember, you cannot have control or
influence over anything unless you assume responsibility for it. If you
sit back and watch the scene as it unfolds, you will see the truth.
Remember: problems come from confusion and faulty information.
A customer becomes upset either due to confusion or to having
received bad information. It is your job at this point to unravel the
situation either by finding and correcting the wrong information,
or by finding the misunderstanding and helping the customer to
comprehend.
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Rex S. Gibson
Once the source of the confusion is found and corrected, the upset
individual can comprehend the situation. Once understanding is
reached, you will see him or her come up in emotion and attitude.
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The Game of Your Life
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you can learn from others’ advice and experiences, you will
find yourself opening up to solutions in places you never
realized were options.
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The Game of Your Life
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Rex S. Gibson
but how many baskets did he miss? Babe Ruth holds the
record for home runs, but he also ranks 94th in career
strike outs! If you want to be great you have to try, and
with trying comes occasional failure. With every failure
comes a little lesson that you can learn from the next
time. You must be willing to fail so you can see these
lessons. There are very few things in life that can’t be
recouped or fixed. Making a bad decision is like taking
a wrong turn: just back up and get on the right path.
– W. Clement Stone
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The Game of Your Life
– Albert Ellis
Problems can overwhelm people just like any other force. They can
come in a large, devastating form like the crash of the stock market,
the loss of a loved one, or a natural disaster. They can also accumulate
over time, like president Clinton’s multiple affairs, evading taxes over
the years, or excessive drinking. Either way, problems eventually weigh
down your attitude and slow your performance.
Here are some simple steps to follow when you start feeling overwhelmed
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The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 3
LIVING IN THE PAST:
THE GAME WE LOST, BUT CAN’T
SEEM TO LET GO OF
Reliving past failures is the biggest mistake humans make. We continue
to judge ourselves based on what happened in the past. We tie these past
failures—this garbage—to ourselves and drag it around like a ball and
chain, and then when we are called upon to make a decision, instead
of looking at the relevant data of the current situation, we look at our
ball and chain for the answer. It is this method of decision making that
holds people back. Now, I’m willing to bet that each one of you is saying,
“I don’t do that!” That, too, is garbage. We all do it. I’m not saying this
to berate you—I am just stating facts.
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In The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, the author explains that we have an
ego, which is you, the pure you, your spirit. We also possess what he
calls a “pain body.” L. Ron Hubbard also describes these two concepts in
his book Dianetics: Modern Science of Mental Health as the analytical
mind and the reactive mind. Others have described it as “the devil on
one shoulder and the angel on the other.” It doesn’t really matter what
you call it, the result is the same. When we hurt ourselves physically
(like breaking a leg) or mentally (like failing at something), it leaves a
scar, whether physical or mental. Knowing that we like being right and
do not like being hurt, we simply lump all painful experiences into the
same category and avoid them. When we draw on these past painful
experiences we make bad decisions that prevent us from expanding
into new horizons and trying new endeavors. It is a safety mechanism
used to protect us from our past bad decisions by keeping history from
repeating itself. It is animalistic…it is designed for self preservation.
The problem is that it can lead to irrational behavior or poor decision
making.
This protective mechanism is like the low oil indicator light on the dash
of your car. The difference is that the human “low oil light” turns on
even when the oil isn’t low: it could turn on when it is close to low, or
if it thinks it might get low. The difference is that the car is using real
data, and your indicator is using emotional data.
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The Game of Your Life
the extent of never getting on skis again. The event may have left him
with such a mental scar that fear now pervades his every thought about
skiing. Any analytically thinking person would know that one accident
does not mean you will have more, but it is the power of reliving past
failures that gives the previous incident control over you. You use
all your past information to help you cope with the present moment
because you want to stay safe, but the real effect is that this action creates
obstacles in your life.
– Dorothy Thompson
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The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 4
JUSTIFICATION:
NO MATTER WHAT THE EXCUSE,
YOU STILL LOST THE GAME
Why did you fail? Just ask and people will give all sorts of reasons.
Many of these reasons point to people and factors other than the person
answering the question. These are called justifications. Justifications
explain away failures and mistakes. No one likes to be wrong, and
people will go to great lengths to make themselves right despite any
actual failure or wrongness. They will give all manner of reasons why
something did not get accomplished, and they will blame someone else
for their failure, or better yet, they will blame an animal or an inanimate
object for the failure.
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I want to tell you a story that is very special to me. It is a story from
which I have found much inspiration and hold very close to my heart.
Here is a true success story about a man named Richard. I know this
man very well, and he told me this story many years ago. It touched
me and has helped me during times when I felt I could not muster
the chutzpah to drive forward. Richard’s father died in WWII when
he was a child. His mother remarried an abusive alcoholic who
lacked the motivation to keep a steady job and was in and out of jail.
When Richard was about thirteen years old, his stepfather got out
of jail and decided to move the family to California. Richard stood
his ground and refused to move away from his hometown with an
abusive, alcoholic stepfather. A few years later, his mother died in a
house fire and his guilt stricken stepfather committed suicide. Richard
had lost not only his own father, but his mother and stepfather by his
fifteenth birthday.
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The Game of Your Life
Although this story is sad, I didn’t tell it so you would feel sympathy
for Richard. I told you this as the beginning of a great success story.
With all the drama and trauma that Richard endured throughout his
childhood, he could have easily blamed others for his circumstances and
taken a life path that would have led to crime, alcoholism, and possibly
his demise. This is not what happened.
– Kathy Seligman
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can’t be done are nothing more than excuses you invented. As the saying
goes, no one will take care of your business like you. This holds true
for your life. Only you are going to make your life a success, and only
you can push past the excuses and justifications of your own failures.
You need to change your attitude from “Who can I blame?” to “How do
I get this done?” Once you do this, you will begin to empower yourself
and you will become much more successful. This will make you stronger,
faster, and better, but only you can do it. Take charge of your own life.
Begin to create, take responsibility, and live from your own truth. Be a
leader among your fellow men and women; donate what you learn so
others can win too.
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The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 5
BAD DATA: PLAYING TENNIS
WITH A BASEBALL BAT
Opinions Are a Dime a Dozen
There are people who specialize in stopping others from succeeding.
I don’t mean that people are literally employed to stop other people
from achieving their goals, but it sometimes feels that way. At times,
you will undoubtedly be surrounded by naysayers and dream killers.
There’s no way to know for certain why some people are like that, but
it is often because you make them come face to face with their own
failures. Naysayers and dream killers are people who have experienced
lots of failure in their lives, and because of that, they are bitter and resent
people who succeed. Instead of working toward success in their own
lives, they choose to spend their energy telling others why they can’t or
shouldn’t reach for their goals.
Let’s say that you have a dream to take an invention to market. Naysayers
might tell you all the reasons that you should not embark on your
endeavor. They will do their best to deter you from your dream. It might
be because they had ideas for inventions but never followed through,
or because they attempted to follow through and failed. If you were to
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succeed with your invention, it would be like rubbing salt into their
wounds. Of course, that is not your intention, but that is how it would
feel to the naysayers.
Some of the greatest inventors faced the greatest ridicule. Many of the
modern conveniences we have today were ideas that people laughed at.
Inventions and things of great importance came out of throwing out old
ideas and traditions. People used to agree that the earth was flat, and
when Christopher Columbus first said it was round everyone said he
was crazy! Sometimes the ideas that people hold as fundamental truths
are the very ideas that are false and holding people back from success.
As long as your goal is set and you are passionate about it, let no one
detract you from your mission. Listen to yourself and ask, “What is the
right thing to do for me?” Stop listening to people whose only mission
is to tell you why you can’t achieve what you desire. There are, of course,
times when others have valid input, and these fit into the category of
constructive criticism. If they are trying to intercede and help you avoid
pitfalls and move you closer to success, then listen and consider what
they are saying.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
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The Game of Your Life
neighbor said, or the internet said, or my mom always did it this way.
You need to learn to analyze the data and not allow bad information
or opinions to be your downfall.
When a fisherman casts out a net, he will catch fish but he will also
bring in all the other junk from the lake. The smart fisherman will sift
through the whole bounty, keep the fish, and throw back the junk. The
foolish fisherman will keep everything that he drags in, regardless of its
worth. Poor decision makers are like foolish fishermen—they cast out a
net and bring in all types of random information that may or may not
be beneficial in their decision-making process. When you don’t separate
the fish from the trash, you end up going hungry because you’re filling
your mind with junk. The smart, successful person is the one who takes
the time to pick out all the junk, leaving only the good stuff, and making
a decision based on the quality information.
With all this being said, you should realize that it is going to take practice
to interpret information accurately. To avoid making bad decisions
based on poor data, ask yourself the following questions:
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Opinions: everyone has them. Surround yourself with people who will
offer you constructive criticism that is designed to increase your chances
of success. In the end, you are capable of sifting through good and bad
data. Follow the four steps above and you will be well on your way to
becoming a better decision maker.
– Deepak Chopra
What if I do all the exercises you gave me and I STILL can’t make a
decision? Not all decisions are made from perfect data. Even though it
is important to use all data at hand to render the best possible solution,
sometimes you are still missing information and the solution doesn’t
seem clear. In cases like this, your intuition needs to be your guide.
This means having faith in yourself and listening to what you believe
is truth, regardless of what direction the data may point. When you are
going through the decision-making process and you are sifting through
the net to weed out the garbage and gather only the good information,
remember to ask yourself how you feel about the information you have
gathered. This is extremely important. The best decisions are the ones
that combine good data that points to an obvious choice and that gut
feeling that says, “You did the right thing.”
– Bill Gates
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The Game of Your Life
What is your heart telling you? What does your gut say? Write down
the situation and all of its possible solutions. Through the process of
elimination, cross off any solution that does not help get you closer to
your goals. If you are left with two or three options at this point, pick
one using your intuition. Decision making is not a democracy: good
decisions are not based on a majority vote. We need to start learning
to use our own minds. Learn to think for yourself—use your thoughts,
not someone else’s. Use your gut and make a decision for your own life.
The best decisions are always decisions that make you feel good. They
fill you with a sense of overall peace. You become excited and energized,
and you have an overwhelming feeling of BOOM get her done! You
find yourself saying things, taking actions, and getting results instead
of continuing with activities and conversations that will not move you
closer to your goal.
– Ronald Reagan
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The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 6
THE HEAD GAME:
THE LOUDEST HECKLER
At this point in the book, we have discussed surface level whys. Yes, you
must use good data to make good decisions, drawing on past painful
experiences can mislead you, and fears and problems hold us back.
Now is it time to discuss the deepest parts of the mind. This chapter
will answer many questions, but it might bring about even more. This
chapter is about you—and I mean the real you. The spark that animates
the body you run around in. Authors like Eckhart Tolle, Rhonda Byrne,
Don Miguel Ruiz, L. Ron Hubbard, and many more have offered answers
to the human mind and spirit. These writers were all pointing to the
same fact. Some were much more clear and succinct than others. The
terminology that I have seen used to define mind and spirit have been
Ego / Pain Body, the Id / Ego / Super Ego, or the devil on one shoulder
/ angel on the other; every author is alluding to the same thing: there is
an unknown, hidden, aberrant part of our mind that can take control
of our thoughts and make us do the most irrational things.
We will discuss spirituality in later chapters, but for now let us consider
that there is a spiritual side to life. Let us consider that there are three
parts to a person, a spirit, a mind, and a body. You are not your body or
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your mind, you have a body and you have a mind. If you allow me to
point something out to you as you read this, you use the word my in
front of referencing your mind and your body. We all do. Why? They
are possessions. So what are you? You are the third thing, the spiritual
being, which does not mean anything else than you are you. So it is
inaccurate to say I have a spirit because you are one. This is one of the
greatest simplicities of life that was too simple for the complicated
sciences to see. Much like the law of gravity. Apples always fell and
no one noticed that there was a fundamental principle at play called
gravity. You are a spiritual being. Now do not get confused or feel
weird, we all are spiritual beings. Again, so many other definitions of
the word spirit exists that people are confused by the word. Let’s keep
it simple because it is: it is defined as you, the one who is reading and
comprehending this book, not your body or your mind.
There is a part of your mind that is very powerful, and can override
your analytical thought process. It is the part of your mind where all
painful experiences are stored. It reminds you of all your mistakes and
failures. It is the part of the mind where FEAR lives. It is that little
voice that talks to you and tells you, “You are going to fail. Be careful,
remember what happened last time you did that.”
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The Game of Your Life
3. You fell and broke your leg while skiing. Now you
don’t ever want to go skiing again because you don’t
want to get hurt. Analytically, you realize that you
can safely ski down the mountain, but when you
attempt to go skiing, you cannot shake the thought
of your broken leg.
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The real question is: how do I know if I am being logical and objective
or fearful and controlled by my past losses? There are a few questions
you can ask yourself in a fearful moment:
Truth Is Differentiation
When you hang on to past losses, you will tend to see very few differences
in situations. The present situation will seem so similar to the past situation
that you will think you are heading for another mistakes causing yet
another loss. “WE CAN’T HAVE THAT”, says the mind, so it overrides
your ability to think rationally and see the differences in the current
situation and the past situation which created the loss in the first place.
When you maintain the ability to see both the similarities and differences
in things, you will discover you can trust your judgment and decisions.
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There is always a way to make something succeed, you just might have
to put some energy into finding an alternate route. It takes courage not
to react to the part of your mind that is telling you “You can’t,” or “You’re
going to fail,” or “Be careful, you could get hurt.” At this point you may
be asking yourself, “How am I supposed to overcome this dialogue of
failure?” The above four questions can help in a pinch, but to really
correct the part of your mind that inhibits you and all of its harmful
effects, you will need help beyond what I can offer in this book. Books
like The Secret and A New Earth have attempted to shed some light on
what we are discussing in this chapter, but in order to truly understand
the mind and to ensure that you can trust your mental clarity thus
decision making, I highly suggest reading Dianetics: Modern Science
of Mental Health by L. Ron Hubbard. This book offers in-depth insight
into the mechanics of the mind and how to eliminate the parts that hold
you back from a full and meaningful life.
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2ND HALF OF THE GAME:
HOW TO WIN THE BIG GAME
The Game of Your Life
CHAPTER 7
THE GAME OF LIFE:
FIRST READ THE INSTRUCTIONS
Games are fun: just ask any kid. As a child, everything is a game, from
seeing how fast you can run up and down the stairs, to hide and seek, to
learning math. As adults, we tend to shorten our scope regarding what
we consider a game. We limit a “game” to monopoly, baseball, poker,
etc. But what do GAMES have to do with Life?
There are a lot of similarities to life and games we have all played. The
RULES of the game determine the accepted conduct for the game. It
creates an understanding for all players as to what is legal and illegal
in the game. It is the establishment of what we cannot do and what
freedoms the players have in the pursuit of victory. The OBSTACLES in
a game are the things that keep you from winning. It is the proverbial
“go to jail card” or the “go back three spaces” spot on the game board.
Obstacles are anything that gets in your way to a fast and easy victory.
Finally, what would a game be without GOALS? How would you know
when you have won the game? How would you know when the game
is over? And what is the purpose of the game? The goal is the desired
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outcome. The goal is the event that, when reached, concludes the game.
The goal is the purpose for playing the game. As we go through the
2nd half of the game, let’s remember that life has rules, obstacles, and
goals, therefore, life IS a game!
Can you remember someone telling you as a kid, “Life isn’t all fun and
games”? Well, as a kid, it was. As we grow into adulthood, our games
get more complicated, but nonetheless, they are still games. As adults,
instead of buying houses to put on our monopoly property, we buy real
houses on real property worth real money. The game hasn’t changed—
your perspective on the game did. As adults, the real world can seem
so serious: the consequences for our actions are more serious, and it
doesn’t allow enough room to have fun. Because of this, we revert to
our childhood visions of fun: games. Many of us look for outlets to play
games. We need fun in our lives, so we join a coed softball team or play
poker with some buddies on Friday night.
If you allow yourself, you can make a game out of anything. Look
around, life is full of games—just ask any kid. Use childlike eyes to
recapture the fun of life. Play life like a game. Set goals, play by the rules,
overcome obstacles, laugh, win or lose, but for goodness’ sake have fun!
Life is no fun without games, so know the rules, overcome the barriers,
and win the game of life.
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needs to be playing by the same rules. This keeps the game fair. There
also need to be penalties for breaking the rules to keep the game fair
and maintain the integrity of the game.
Every game is slightly different, and you must read the directions to
understand the rules thoroughly, but the basics stay the same: don’t
cheat, don’t steal, treat others like you would like to be treated, be worthy
of trust, do not murder, set a good example, etc. These are the same rules
that most rational people use to guide them through the game of life.
Although these basic rules are a good set of guidelines to follow, life is
full of hundreds, if not thousands, of different sub-games. Each sub-
game presents its own unique set of circumstances and challenges. Each
sub-game can have rules that are subtle or specific. In order to overcome
those challenges, you must know the rules. First, you must seek out the
rules. Do not assume you know the rules unless you have already played
the same game. Ask what the rules are. Write them down if you must,
but know them and follow them.
Please understand, I’m not asking you to follow some of the rules and
ignore others. I’m not suggesting that all rules are intelligent, or even
based in logic, but they are still the rules. An example is driving 55 mph
on two-lane highway. This is an antiquated law, written at a time when
fuel was scarce and cars were inefficient and had fewer safety features.
That does not change the fact that when the sign says “Maximum Speed
Limit 55 mph,” it means you should not drive more than 55 mph on
that stretch of highway. We will get into ethics in later chapters, but for
now suffice it to say that personal ethics and following the rules is the
only way to truly win the game of life.
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Overcoming Obstacles
Now we will discuss the barriers that keep us from reaching our goals.
Between the beginning of a journey and the final destination, you will
need to pass over, around, or through one or more obstacles or barriers. I
bring this point up not to be negative, but to enlighten you about the fact
that barriers, which can derail your path and lead to failure, loom around
every corner. They are just waiting for you to make a mistake or lower your
guard. In order to reach your goal, you must remain alert and vigilant,
never allowing your attention to be pulled away from your goal. If you
see someone who has achieved a high level of success, you are also seeing
someone who has overcome many obstacles and adversities in her life.
Throughout your journey, you will see some barriers coming, and others
will seem to pop up out of nowhere. Whether the obstacle is known or
unknown, you will need to navigate the waters to reach your goal. One
of the sayings I live by is, “Plan for the worst and work toward the best.”
When you take that attitude, you can be prepared for the unexpected,
or at least be able to handle an unexpected situation that arises with
confidence and skill. Just like Bear Grylls from the show “Man Versus
Wild,” the more prepared you are for the unexpected; the easier it will
be for you to overcome the barriers that oppose you. Each obstacle you
come up against offers the opportunity to throw in the towel. That is
the job of obstacles: to get you to give up. It is you against the barriers,
mano-a-mano.
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Too many people give up on their dreams because the obstacles have
overwhelmed them. They set out on a journey with a goal in mind, but
as soon as the going gets rough, they pack it in and decide to give up.
In order to achieve a high level of success and maintain that level, you
must build the proper emotional and mental capacity to perform your
absolute best every single day. You must also have the mental fortitude
to stay the course and not allow anything to stop you from reaching your
goals. In other words, you must be seasoned for success. Success is not
for the faint of heart. Success is a learned behavior, achieved through
hard work, sweat, and—unfortunately sometimes—tears. The more you
succeed, the more you will continue to succeed; success breeds success.
What Is Happiness?
When are people the happiest? When they are winning. Happiness is
achieved through success…through overcoming life’s obstacles and
barriers while working toward your goals. Part of that formula is
overcoming obstacles, fears, and barriers including the unseen obstacles
that pop up unexpectedly. As discussed earlier, when you set a goal and
move toward it, all manner of obstacles will present themselves. Some
of these obstacles are predictable and some are not as obvious. Look
at life’s little obstacles like the game Whac a Mole. As an obstacle pops
its head up, you whack it and wait for the next one. When it shows up,
you handle it and wait for the next one. If you play the game of life like
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a game of Whac a Mole, you will find that obstacle and barriers become
their own sub-game. As you whack each mole, you get one step closer
to winning the game.
– J. C. Penney
Basic Rule of Life: You Grow or You Die
There is a law of nature that if you are not growing, you are dying. There
is absolutely nothing in between. Take a look at nature: trees don’t stop
reaching for the sun. Their whole lives they are moving up toward the sun,
pushing themselves to get closer to that goal. As soon as the tree stops
reaching for the sun, it begins its death. Human beings are the same. The
day you stop growing as a person and looking for the next goal to attain
is the day you stop growing and, hence, the day you begin the descent
toward death. We see this happen when older people are deemed unable
to care for themselves and placed in an adult care facility. This is not to
say that adult care facilities are bad, but the reality is that the average stay
at an adult care facility before the person passes is less than two years.
Some would argue that the person had failing health, and that may be,
but if you combine fragile health with the loss of the ability to attain new
life goals, the person stops growing and begins dying.
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its maximum height, there is a moment that the rock stops going up,
and at that moment the rock begins to descend. This is no different for
humans. We are born, we have no choice but to grow and learn, and
at some point when we reach adulthood, we either continue to grow
or we begin our descent toward our ultimate demise. Expansion is the
key to continued happiness, regardless of the circumstances around
you. A person does not have to expand and grow like a rocket ship; a
person just needs to continue moving forward, even if it is at a slow
pace. Progress is progress!
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ways to accomplish your goals. I get all of this energy and information
from other motivational speakers. One of the biggest turning points
in my life was when I finally decided it was okay for me to be busy. I
decided that, not only was it okay, but it was a really good thing, and
it made me happy. Once I stopped listening to people who wanted me
to slow down and take a break and allowed myself to be busy, I started
accomplishing so much more and, as a result, became happier and more
satisfied with my life.
– Iris Murdoch
– Sydney Smith
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CHAPTER 8
THE BEST GAME PLAN:
EVERYONE WINS
We have discussed many things up to this point, and if you absorbed
even half of the concepts, you are well on your way to setting and
attaining higher and better goals. There is one concept which can
act as a decision lighthouse guiding you home to a place free of bad
decisions.
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No person is an island.
No person can exsist or succeed alone.
Winning At Games In Life
Quite simply the best decisions we all can make in life would consider
the broadest parts of life or the greatest benefit to the greatest number
of people and things. We will call this the GREATER GOOD for short.
Thus as we roll along through our life, we can commit to making our
decisions along the line of the greater good.
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New information comes to light every day. With new information, you
will invariably find that some of your best decisions were wrong. This
tends to make you feel like you made mistakes. This is the wrong way to
look at it. There may be new information today that you were not privy
to when you made the decision, but that does not invalidate the previous
decision. It simply means you need to create a new best solution and
make the appropriate corrections. C’est la vie—that’s life. Life’s path, like
a car going down the road, will require many corrections. Live today
and make the best decisions based on all of today’s data.
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If the decision does not require immediate action, wait 24 hours to review
the information and ensure that your initial decision is the correct choice
for you. You will find that when the emotion dissipates, you can maintain
your composure and use your reasoning mind to create the best solution.
The more you train yourself to look for the truth in a situation, and give
yourself time to process the information, the more high quality decisions
you will make. The more this becomes a habit, the fewer regrets you will
have. Although being decisive and making snap decisions is a desirable
quality for successful people, rash decisions never created a winner.
3. Does the solution create the most good for the majority
of people and things involved or influenced, or the least
harm to the majority of people and things involved or
influenced by the solution?
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CHAPTER 9
PURPOSE: YOUR SECRET
WEAPON FOR SUCCESS
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a
purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
the being thoroughly worn out before you are
thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of
nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of
ailments and grievances complaining that the
world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
To review, a game has rules, barriers, and goals, but why do we play
the game at all? Why do we need a goal? The answer to these questions
touches on the deepest, most basic need in humans: purpose. It is the
why, the drive, and the reason for doing what you do. The purpose
of having a goal is that it gives you a reason to keep playing the game
of life. When you get down to the basics, it gives your life meaning,
and it is necessary if you want to keep moving forward. If you’re not
moving forward you might as well pack it in and accept mediocrity.
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The bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles, and the bigger the
reward; the main thing you have to focus on when you are moving
forward through these obstacles is your why. Your why is the core
reason or purpose that you have for reaching that goal. When you set
a goal, ask yourself why you want to reach it. Keep asking why until
your answer gives you goose bumps. When this happens, you have
discovered your true why.
For example, you may have a goal to earn a certain amount of money
every month. Let’s say your goal is to earn $20k on a monthly basis.
Now, ask yourself why you want to earn that amount of money. Why
do you want to earn $20k monthly? Possibly because this will give
you the house and the lifestyle you desire.
I cannot stress enough how critical it is for you to define what you
want. You must have a definite purpose and a definite plan for the
attainment of that purpose. If your goal relates to business, how many
people will it take to make your company as big as you want it to grow?
Continue to ask yourself questions to gain more clarity.
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When you find your purpose and set a goal that you are passionate
about, nothing can stop you from attaining your dreams!
– Albert Einstein
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CHAPTER 10
REALITY: PLAY YOUR GAME
AND PLAY TO WIN
What Is Fake Real and What Is Really Real
I once read that “Reality is what we all agree on”: the grass is green, race
horses are fast, and rocket ships go into outer space. Actuality is what the
individual perceives and holds to be true. It is a subjective thing. That
isn’t to say that actuality is widely held truth. Christopher Columbus had
to prove that the earth was round; he knew it was, but he had to prove it
to the masses in order for his actuality to become other people’s reality.
You must realize that what is actual for you, may not be actual for another
person. Thus it is not a reality, by the definition above. Because of our
varying life experiences, our perceptions can be quite different. Every
person has lived a different life, with different circumstances, and different
perceptions. As the saying goes, if you were to ask ten witnesses about the
same accident, you would get ten different recollections of the situation.
You should base your decisions on your own actuality. Another word
for actuality is belief. Successful people believe that they are right.
They know that their actuality is correct, even if there is no other solid
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When you find your own truth and filter the lies from the data, you learn
to disregard all the junk. You learn to see a situation for what it truly is.
Your vision starts to become clear and things become less scary in your
life. The more you continue to work on this and keep focused, the more
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it becomes a fixed habit in your life. This takes practice and dedication,
but it can help you advance your life to a higher and richer level. The
more defined your truth becomes and the more it is incorporated with
integrity, ethics, and your morals, the stronger you become and the less
intimidating life will be.
Fear blinds truth. People look away from things they fear, so any
situation that contains fear must be viewed and evaluated for the
actuality in it. A dark alley can be a scary place, but once that alley is
flooded with light, it no longer has the same effect. If you do not face
your fears and illuminate them with truth, you will be doomed to repeat
history and be haunted by past failures. I’m not saying that looking at
your fears is easy, just that it is necessary. The hardest part about facing
your fears is finding the truth. The truth is not always pretty, but it is
true. Once you have faced fear and seen truth with conviction and
courage, you will find yourself swelling with power you never thought
you had. It is this power that magnifies your chances of expanding and
achieving all of your goals.
– B. G. Jett
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CHAPTER 11
LUCK: CREATE IT, DON’T
RELY ON IT
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder
I work, the more I have of it.”
– Thomas Jefferson
You hear it every day: “He’s so lucky to live in that house,” or “She’s
so lucky to have that job.” Luck can be defined as good fortune that
came to someone without his or her own doing. When most people
speak of luck, they are usually speaking of good luck. According to the
definition above, people are helpless victims of their own lives rather
than being active players who control the outcome of the game. Luck
is actually a product of hard work combined with a good strategy and
the correct amount of effort directed in the proper places to achieve a
certain outcome. Derek Jeter is a top baseball player and has remarkable
natural talent, but he would not be as great as he is without taking
batting practice every day. Top athletes know that there is very little
luck involved in their successes. It is a matter of being prepared and
creating a foundation of basics that create success. Keeping this in
mind, an individual can either choose to cause things to happen, or be
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affected by what life hands him. If a person chooses to create things and
make things happen, then that person is choosing to be an author of
their life’s events. He/she is literally writing the script to life. In order
to be an AUTHOR OF LIFE, an individual must shun the idea of luck
and believe adamantly that all things can be accomplished if one puts
forth the correct effort in the desired direction. A person who chooses
to be the effect of things around them, clings to the belief that he or
she is not in control of destiny and, regardless of hard work will never
truly reach his or her goals.
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person telling the story likely left out the endless rejections and broken
deals that came before being “discovered.” That actor or singer was not
lucky—he or she had a goal, continued to intend that the goal would
be reached, and was rewarded with being “discovered.”
– Brian Tracy
You may have heard that life isn’t fair…well, it’s not. We are not all created
equal. Some people have attributes that give them advantages over other
people. In order to offset these so called disadvantages, you need to create
your own circumstances for success. Nothing happens by luck alone; we
must be active players in making what we want happen. Even the person
who wins the lottery bought a lottery ticket. So where do we fit in on this
spectrum of luck vs. POSITIVE DECISION? Do we cause it, or do we just
get lucky? If you want to be luckier, then you ought to decide that more
things will happen to increase your chances of getting lucky.
– Seneca
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The more you think about your goals, the more momentum you create,
which propels you toward your end destination or goal. By looking
through the classifieds, you are much more likely to find a job than if
you just cross your fingers and rub your rabbit’s foot, hoping “luck” will
bring you a great new job.
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throwing a Frisbee with his buddies on the beach, showing off his toned
physique. You have to personalize your mental picture—make it your
own. The most important aspect of POSITIVE DECISION is repetition.
You can’t just think about what you want once and be done with it. Do
it over and over and over again, day in and day out. Picture your goal
as often as you can. The more you visualize what you want, the closer
you will move to that picture. The more the image is present, the more
real it becomes. You literally think it into existence.
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slap shot. In that split second, he decides the outcome. He has already
decided that he will lose. He has already decided on the excuse that he will
use when his team loses. This way of thinking makes the man a victim to
the circustances, not the author of the situation he wants to have happen.
He is allowing circumstances to dictate his future instead of being the
master of his own fate. Alternatively, he can choose to have the attitude
that “No one can score on me. I am the best goalie in the world!” This is
being a master of fate. Being an author of life is all about responsibility.
Your level of control is in direct proportion to the level of responsibility
you take for life. Many people don’t understand that concept. They think
everything is somebody else’s fault and do not take responsibility for the
situations in their own lives.
This is not to say that bad things never happen. Unfortunate events
happen all the time, but the things that happen are not as important as
how the individual reacts to those events. What you do and how you
think following a setback is crucial to whether or not you will be the cause
over your life circumstances. If you lose your job, will you sit and wallow
and blame someone else for firing you? Or will you choose to hold your
head high and find a great new job? In the world today, many people are
falling into the trap of being an innocent bystander to their own affairs,
blaming their situation on the economy, a bad boss, or the ever-popular
“bad luck.” In reality there are many people who are keeping their jobs,
maintaining great marriages, and experiencing great success. It is these
people who continue to be the author in their lives, no matter what their
environment throws at them.
– Elbert Hubbard
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It is hard to look in the mirror and call ourselves out on playing the
victim. It can be very hard to overcome the barriers of life. One thing
that all successful people have in common is that when the going got
tough, they rolled up their sleeves and did whatever needed to be done
to make things happen the way they wanted. People told Henry Ford
he could never make an affordable automobile, and what did he do? He
made not just one affordable car, but millions of them. His creation, the
Model T, was the most successful car ever made. He did not let people’s
negative opinions affect him. He assumed responsibility for making
his dream a reality. He authored his dream of making an affordable car
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for every American, and he made it reality. In the process, Ford also
invented the assembly line, a process nearly every factory utilizes today.
He found a better way to do things. He was “lucky,” as we say, but his
success was entirely under his control. He tackled the problem head on;
he did not become an effect of it, but rather, solved it. He made it happen.
In high school, someone once said I was the luckiest guy he knew. This
perplexed me, because I didn’t come from a wealthy family and I wasn’t
particularly smart. I just worked hard, surrounded myself with good
people, and worked toward my dreams. What my friend didn’t realize
was it wasn’t luck that brought me the great things I had—I brought
them to myself. I used the resources I had to create the things I wanted.
I wasn’t unique or lucky; I simply positioned myself to increase my
chances of success. It is the same for the success stories we hear about
people who come from situations like extreme poverty and rise to
become business executives. They in turn raise their kids to become
successful, and the cycle continues. Those people did not get where
they are because of luck; they just kept pushing themselves closer and
closer to their goals and never gave up on them.
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Just like a tachometer on a racecar revs up, you can rev up your luck
by implementing the RPM Method.
R: Responsibility
P: Positive Decision
M: Massive Action
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CHAPTER 12
ETHICS: GUARANTEED
PERSONAL VICTORY
Take calculated risks in life, but take them based on integrity, ethics,
and morals. Without a strong ethical or moral code, doing the right
thing may never occur to you. Ethics is defined as right versus wrong.
Morals are defined as a society’s agreed upon rules and laws. Integrity
is defined as not violating your own personal ethics and morals.
When you hold true to ethics and morals, and your decision is based
in integrity, you own your actions and you will be in charge of your
own destiny.
Hold true to core values and be willing to fail. Success can only be
had in the face of potential failure, and if you do not put yourself in
a position to fail, you cannot have success. By definition, success is
winning, and you cannot win if there is nothing to overcome.
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For example, let’s say I am working hard all day and I want to come
home to a peaceful and clean home, but when I get there, I notice the
dishes piled in the sink. It might move me toward getting upset at my
wife or someone else; however, before I react I must try to understand
what her true intention was.
I know she did not leave the dishes in the sink with the intention of
making me upset—of course not! She might have been rushing out the
door to help a family member with something or to make it to work on
time, and she just did not have the chance to get to it. Now, instead of
emotionally reacting, I can respond accordingly. After all, how many
times have I left the dishes in the sink?
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If you make it a habit to look for people’s bad intentions, you are barking
up the wrong tree. People are generally good. Sure, there are some bad
apples, but for the most part people have good intentions. We all make
mistakes along the way, but when you realize people generally have good
intentions; you can look past a lot of petty issues and spend less time
being aggravated by others. The only person in control of your actions is
you. When you surrender control over your emotions to another person
or circumstance, you have surrendered your leadership.
The individual my son was speaking of could have gotten really upset
because it was a slightly embarrassing situation for him, but he took
his experience and realized my son meant no harm, and he didn’t get
upset at all. I admire people who embrace this way of life.
– Helen Keller
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CHAPTER 13
CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE:
YOUR TWO GREATEST
TEAMMATES
“People who ask confidently get more than those
who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve
figured out what you want to ask for, do it with
certainty, boldness and confidence.”
– Jack Canfield
Confidence and courage may be vastly different, but in the end, they
are both equally necessary to lead a rich and fulfilling life, one that is
full of risks taken, goals achieved, and dreams fulfilled. It is possible to
have all of the confidence in the world, but not have the courage to act.
Likewise, it is possible to have courage without any confidence in your
own ability. One without the other will help you achieve some of your
goals in the short term, but this success cannot be sustained over an
extended period of time. Both are needed to prevent boredom, foster
growth, and create balance in your life. It is important to examine both
of these ideas in greater detail.
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Confidence can be defined as knowing that you have the required skills
and abilities to complete a certain task successfully. For example, a
professional surfer will have no problem jumping into the ocean waters
and catching a huge wave. He knows that he has the required skills
to make it from point A to point B without drowning in the process.
Courage can be defined as taking a leap of faith in the face of uncertainty
and attempting a task without any certainty as to its outcome. Saying,
“I love you” for the first time to a romantic interest is something that
takes an enormous amount of courage. There is no guarantee that you
will hear the answer you expect, no matter how many times you may
have been in the same situation in the past.
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– Unknown
You must have all three elements to be competent and confident. If you
are lacking confidence in any task, one or more of the three ingredients
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If you approached every area of your life this way, you would experience
staggering success. The most successful people I know found the
missing pieces to their problem or situation, learned what they needed
to know, and then made the appropriate corrections to create success.
This sounds like a simple thing to do, and it is, but it is not easy, and
it will take a large amount of courage. The successful in life have the
courage to know what they did not know or had the courage to face
their shortcomings, and correct that BEFORE they acted. And thus
their success was no accident.
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purpose rather than fear. The stronger the purpose for any given path,
the more the necessity for action, and the greater the action required
for you to muster courage to complete the task.
– W. Clement Stone
– Dale Carnegie
Look at how the United States put a man on the moon in four years. How
many people had to hold that dream in their minds and unwaveringly
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move forward through the required steps for four straight years until
completion? NASA had to design and build a spaceship, then figure out
how they were going to get several men into that spaceship and onto
the moon using a computer system that had less power than today’s
cell phones.
The only thing standing between you and the life of your dreams is an
absolute, unwavering decision to act with courage and complete the
goal no matter what.
Intention
Intention is defined as the will to do. Let’s take this concept just a step
further. When I say intention, I mean what you truly mean to have
happen. This idea works hand in hand with positive decisions. If you
intend to have something happen, you are creating what you want. By
placing intention into your actions, you create a sense of drive to the
goal. It is the bullet shot straight at the target. I want to share a story
about intention. I live on a small ranch with my wife and kids. We enjoy
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the farm life and all that goes along with it. One year, I got 120 baby
chickens to boost my egg production. I got them home and situated
in a large horse watering trough with food, bedding, heat lamps and a
watering container. I stood back and admired my brood. I then went
inside to make lunch for myself and my two boys. About an hour later,
I went to check on the day old baby chicks. As I stood over their tank,
something told me to lift up the watering container. To my horror, a
baby chick lay squashed under the two gallon watering container. As
careful as I had been to ensure this didn’t happen, one chick managed
not to get out of the way in time. I picked up its cold, lifeless body. I felt
terrible that I was responsible for the death of an innocent baby chick.
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Brown. To this day, I can still pick Molly out of the brood. I tell this story
so you can understand the power of intention. It is the concept of making
things happen at all costs. The mantra, “Failure is not an option,” is perfect
for this situation. It takes a strong purpose and a lot of courage to
overcome the adversity that life hands us. Go forward and breathe life
back into your GAME.
Courage to Change
Courage: why do some people have it while others don’t? I am not talking
about courage in the form of heroism. The courage I am talking about is
the courage to pursue your passion or purpose in the face of others who
might judge you harshly. I am speaking of the type of courage it takes to
maintain the dedication to follow the steps and make things happen. I
am also talking about the courage to change. I am talking about having
the courage to have a high level of personal integrity.
Only with personal integrity can you be fully responsible for mistakes,
able to correct and solve outpoints, and move on with life. Unsuccessful
people blame others and find fault in everyone but themselves.
Unsuccessful people have their fingers pointed in every direction but
toward themselves. This is the greatest act of cowardice.
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Rex S. Gibson
7. Don’t give up. Far too many people have the tendency to
give up too early. All great inventions and achievements
in history were attained by people who were persistent
in their belief that their dreams would eventually
become reality. As they say, necessity is the mother of
invention.
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– George Sheehan
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