I feel so in doubt

Destroyed by the reality my eyes failed to see

All I had was one way
A chance I can’t but just must take
But it seems this decision is nowhere to be found
For it seems freedom to choose is all gone
I try to realize there was never a choice
But how could this be?
If the only way, Is my right way
But my mind is my cage
To my sacred fantasy
But now it seems I can’t see between
It and my reality
All the words I had to say
All the dreams I’ve dreamed
Now fade into nothing but my shallow breath
Which seems a fragment of what I only think it’s called my life
But what if there's nothing that makes the true life come to be?
No way out for this pain, this false sense of reality to dream in the blood of my sanity?
Of all the things I feel a failure each and everything I try
And just end in the misery of the fragile line between truth or lie
Sometimes I try to bleed
Just to try to see if I'm alive
That the red won’t turn into wine to drink pass my point of indulgence
T be drunk in the splendor of my fantasy
But this pain isn't enough to prove I'm worthy to live, for how can I live if I'm not even sure I exist?
So why keep on living a lie, why not just end it all
Since I never began....How will I fade away?
Bring forth the peaceful rest before I grow tired of waiting to be at peace
Final moments of a false beginning existence finally give some life to a heart the beats on pure command
As I look down into the deep
Falling as the darkness envelopes me
For there is no light, yet there is no darkness to see where I fall
Just fading into what I hope is not just another lie, just another way to see past it all
And find it as hollow as I felt before
But I wake up...
Trapped again in the prison of flesh
My true self drifting through time and miles and miles away
Trapped behind the bars of my "Life"
To show a smile to pretend to care
For the only reason I smile is Hide my pain
Time to "Live" My "Life"...
Time to live my Lie...
Time to wake up...