A MOST PRECIOUS THING

Dhul-Qaadah 1421/Feb 2001 Abdul-Qaadir Abdul-Khaaliq

There is nothing in this dunya (worldy life) that should be more precious to a believer than his Muslim family. They can be a source of happiness, pride, comfort and security. One's family is their chance to make something of all the time and effort they put into their work or any of the efforts made to provide for them and secure their well-being. Anyone with a sense of honor or responsibility would do almost anything to protect their family. He would not allow dishonor, disrespect or disgrace to come upon his wife, children or parents, to the best of his ability, if he has the least care for them. If anyone was to threaten their welfare or safety or if they found themselves in a distressing situation, he would be consumed with trying to find a way out of it for them and would be willing to perhaps even lay down his life in their defense. All the wealth or material gain one may acquire would mean little if it meant losing a loving spouse or a beloved offspring. Imagine how it must feel to be attacked or defenseless and unable to protect or provide for one's family? This is the reality for many Muslims in different lands. This being the case, how can those of us who are blessed enough to be in situations where we have wives and children or live in relative safety and are able to provide for them materially, then mistreat or neglect them? Do we take for granted that our circumstances will always be comfortable or manageable? Do we not consider the possibility that we may one day face hardship, even in the extreme, after having lived in ease? Indeed, there are probably many who are now facing situations they never imagined previously and perhaps the very families that they had once not given even attention to, had not shown enough appreciation for, treated with kindness or expressed their love towards or had not taken the time to guide or teach Islam to, who wish for those lost moments because now those families are dysfunctional, threatened or non-existent. Indeed, I want to paint a graphic and stark picture so that perchance we can reflect on the blessing of a loving spouse or progeny who will carry on our legacies and then reassess if we are really fulfilling our roles as Muslim wives, husbands, parents and children. Do we as husbands treat the woman who has given herself to us, who gives us pleasure, who raises our children, who takes care of our homes, with the due regard and respect for all she does... or do we treat her like a hired-hand? Do the wives show any gratitude to the men who work hard to please them and provide for them and protect their dignity and honor as well as their children? Do we as children show the proper regard for parents who have exerted every effort on our behalf and who protected us until we were able to live on our own if the father is only a worn out general who barks orders at his wife and children and spends no time to get to actually know and enjoy being with them, nor takes any interest in their guidance and education (especially Islamic), and only acts as a money-making machine, should he be surprised when the ties between him and his family become distanced or detached and fall into problems? If a woman is just a nagging spendthrift but puts no effort into nurturing her children or seeing that her husband receives her love and affection, should she surprised when she finds disrespect, dissatisfaction and indifference? When couples compare one another to others and try to compete for material gain or never acknowledge the accomplishments of their children be surprised with households full of ingratitude and strife? How many couples don't have marriages but truces!? How many parents have not loving and respectful children, but rebellious parolees who can only be let out with conditions and who do nothing to ease their burden. Let us take time to appreciate our wives, husbands and children and not forget that when we get sick, hurt, or find ourselves in straightened circumstances who it is that we will expect to be there for us and who will expect us to likewise be there for them. Perhaps remembering the companionless who beg Allah to provide them with good, righteous and loving families or who after having had them, lost them - will cause us to recall how blessed we are so when we next see our own families, we thank Allah for them and strive to do our best by them in the manner we are enjoined to by Allah and His Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) and thereby gain the pleasure and mercy of Allah who has out of His mercy granted them to us.