a petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to

heaven.
when they get there they are stopped by st. peter, who
then says, “sorry, heaven’s crowding up, so you need
to answer a question correctly, or else you can’t get
in.”
he looks at the teacher, and asks her: “what was the
name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting
an iceberg?” “oh, that’s easy,” the teacher replied,
“the titanic.” so st. peter let her into heaven.
next he turned to the petty thief. “how many people
died on that ship?” st. peter asked. “oooh, that’s
tough, but i saw the movie, and it was 1, 500.” st.
peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.
finally, st. peter turned to the lawyer. he simply said
to him: “name them.”