LEFT BEHIND

By Kimberly Foster
Reborn from within bureaucracys womb is a bastard child. Torn from the grips of self-identity, she is redefined by a case file. Unknown to her are the roots of what could have been her family tree; instead her truth is a wilted flower disguised as complacency. Thrown into the cascades of unknown faces, in overcrowded placements; she is nameless. Who is this child still clung to the memory of yesterdays happiness, fed promises of best interests and safety; yet barred windows and four-point restraints is what she experiences. Robbed of hop scotch and jump rope, she played Hide and Seek But not the hide and go seek of playful grins and cheerful voices projecting, I found you! She hides from (reality): realities of an 8-year-old little girl administered mind-altering psychotropic medications, saddened because she missed her mother. Diagnosis: Depression and Behavioral Disorder She hides from (side effects): side effects that caused heightened suicidal thoughts and homicidal ideation, side effects that caused depression and a sense of hopelessness. Diagnosis: Major Depression with Psychotic Features She hides from (herself): the once joyful little girl whose smile was as vibrant as the sun, turned into the dark scorn of an alluring black hole. Diagnosis: Dissociative Disorder She seeks (truth): the truth behind years of attempted suicide and arms that bare scars inflicted with the spirit of graffitied street corners. Diagnosis: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder She seeks (self-worth): a mud-slide of tears cried over the fear of growing-up unwanted; her tsunami of tears destroyed hopes; enraged over being labeled. Diagnosis: Attachment Disorder She seeks (accountability): accountability from a system that claims to LEAVE NO CHILD BEHIND a system that took her from behind the cool shade of her mothers 5 foot 3 stance, shadowed from the smoldering corruption of a future she was too young to know; a system that took her from behind her father who drank alcohol as though it were a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summers day and snorted cocaine as if mesmerized by a womans scent. Born from within schizophrenias womb, I am not a bastard child. I found my identity, and now I leave my past where the system left me Behind.