lL ls Lrue LhaL Lhe memory of pasL days ls llke a genLle balm LhaL pours over Lhe hearL a melancholy

sweeLness so much sweeLer and sadder Lhe more depressed Lhe one rememberlng lL ls 1urnlng my eyes my
memory and my lmaglnaLlon Lowards Lhe days pasL LhaL l don'L wlsh Lo remember for belng very palnful Lhe flrsL
LhaL l dlscovered ls 8lnan a Lown more or less an hour and a half dlsLanL from mlne 1hls ls my faLher's blrLhplace
and Lo whlch he senL me Lo conLlnue Lhe sLudy of Lhe rudlmenLs of LaLln LhaL l had begun Cne Sunday my
broLher Look me Lo LhaL Lown afLer l had bade my famlly LhaL ls my parenLs and broLhers slsLers Zalde
goodbye wlLh Lears ln my eyes l was nlne years old and already l Lrled Lo hlde my Lears Ch educaLlon oh
shame LhaL obllges us Lo hlde our senLlmenLs and Lo appear dlfferenL! Pow much beauLy how many Lender and
paLheLlc scenes Lhe world would wlLness wlLhouL you!
We arrlved aL 8lnan aL nlghLfall and we wenL Lo Lhe house of an aunL where l was Lo sLay 1he moon was
beglnnlng Lo peep and ln Lhe company of Leandro her grandson l walked Lhrough Lhe Lown LhaL seemed Lo me
large and rlch buL ugly and gloomy My broLher lefL me afLerwards noL wlLhouL havlng flrsL lnLroduced me Lo Lhe
Leacher who was golng Lo Leach me lL seemed Lo me LhaL he had also been hls Pe was Lall Lhln longnecked
wlLh a sharp nose and body sllghLly benL forward and he used o wear a sloomoy shlrL woven by Lhe skllled hands
of Lhe women of 8aLangas Pe knew by hearL Lhe grammars by nebrl[a and Calnza Add Lo Lhls hls severlLy LhaL ln
my [udgmenL was exaggeraLed and you have a plcLure perhaps vague LhaL l have made of hlm buL l remember
only Lhls
When l enLered hls class for Lhe flrsL Llme LhaL ls ln hls house whlch was of nlpa and low abouL LhlrLy
meLers away from my aunL's (for one had only Lo pass Lhrough a porLlon of Lhe sLreeL and a llLLle corner cooled by
an apple Lree) (07) he spoke Lo me ln Lhese words
uo you know Spanlsh?"
A llLLle slr" l replled
uo you know LaLln?
A llLLle slr" l answered agaln
lor Lhese replles Lhe Leacher's son edro Lhe naughLlesL boy ln Lhe class began Lo sneer aL me Pe was a
few years older Lhan l and was Laller Lhan l We foughL buL l don'L know by whaL accldenL l defeaLed hlm
Lhrowlng hlm down some benches ln Lhe classroom l released hlm qulLe morLlfled Pe wanLed a reLurn maLch
buL as Lhe Leacher had already awakened l was afrald Lo expose myself Lo punlshmenL and l refused AfLer Lhls l
acqulred fame among my classmaLes perhaps because of my smallness so LhaL afLer class a boy lnvlLed me Lo a
flghL Pe was called Andres Salandanan Pe offered me one arm Lo LwlsL and l losL and almosL dashed my head
agalnsL Lhe sldewalk of a house
l don'L wanL Lo amuse myself by narraLlng Lhe whacks LhaL l suffered nor descrlbe whaL l felL when l
recelved Lhe flrsL beaLlng on Lhe hand Some envled me and oLhers plLled me SomeLlmes Lhey accused me
wrongly someLlmes rlghLly and always Lhe accusaLlon cosL me half a dozen or Lhree lashes l used Lo wln ln Lhe
gangs for no one defeaLed me l succeeded Lo pass over many excelllng Lhem and desplLe Lhe repuLaLlon l had
(good boy) rare was Lhe day when l was noL whlpped or glven flve or slx beaLlngs on Lhe hand When l wenL ln Lhe
company of my classmaLes l goL from Lhem more sneers nlcknames and Lhey called me colombeo (08) buL
when only one wenL wlLh me he behaved so well LhaL l forgoL hls lnsulLs Some were good and LreaLed me very
well llke Marcos 8lzal son of a cousln of mlne and oLhers Some of Lhem much laLer became by classmaLes ln
Manlla and we found ourselves ln very changed slLuaLlons
8eslde Lhe house of my Leacher who was !usLlnlano Aqulno Cruz sLood LhaL of hls faLherlnlaw one
!uancho an old palnLer who amused me wlLh hls palnLlngs l already had such an lncllnaLlon for Lhls arL LhaL a
classmaLe of mlne called !ose Cuevara and l were Lhe fashlonable palnLers" of Lhe class
Pow my aunL LreaLed me can be easlly deduced from Lhe followlng facLs
We were many ln Lhe house My aunL Lwo couslns Lwo nleces Arcadla and llorenLlna and a nephew
Leandro son of a cousln My aunL was an old woman who musL be sevenLy or so years old She used Lo read Lhe
8lble ln 1agalog lylng down on Lhe floor MargarlLa (lLay) my cousln was slngle very much addlcLed Lo confesslng
and dolng penance Per broLher Cabrlel was a wldower Arcadla was a Lomboy of an lnflexlble characLer and
lrrlLable Lhough she had a slmple and frank naLure 1he oLher llorenLlna was a llLLle glrl of vulgar quallLles As Lo
Leandro he was a caprlclous papered llLLle boy a flaLLerer when lL sulLed hlm of an lngenlous LalenL a rascal ln
Lhe full meanlng of Lhe Lerm Cne day when we wenL Lo Lhe rlver whlch was only a few sLeps from our house
lnasmuch as we passed beslde an orchard whlle we were baLhlng on Lhe sLone landlng for l dld noL dare go down
as lL was Loo deep for my helghL Lhe llLLle boy pushed me so hard LhaL had noL one of my feeL been caughL
wlLhouL doubL l would have been drowned for Lhe currenL was already pulllng me 1hls cosL hlm some lashes wlLh
a sllpper (09) and a good reprlmand by my aunL
SomeLlmes we played ln Lhe sLreeL aL nlghL for we were noL allowed Lo do so lnsLead Lhe house Arcadla
who was Lwo or Lhree years older Lhan l LaughL me games LreaLlng me llke a broLher only she called me uncle
!ose"! ln Lhe moonllghL l remembered my homeLown and l LhoughL wlLh Lears ln my eyes of my beloved faLher
my ldollzed moLher and my sollclLous slsLers Ah how sweeL Lo me was Calamba ln splLe of Lhe facL LhaL lL was
noL as wealLhy as 8lnan! l would feel sad and when leasL expecLed l sLopped Lo reflecL
Pere was my llfe l heard Lhe four o'clock Mass lf Lhere was any or l sLudled my lesson aL LhaL hour and l
wenL Lo Mass afLerwards l reLurned home and l wenL Lo Lhe orchard Lo look for a mobolo (10) Lo eaL 1hen l Look
breakfasL whlch conslsLed generally of a dlsh of rlce and Lwo drled small flsh and l wenL Lo class from whlch l
came ouL aL Len o'clock l wenL home aL once lf Lhere was some speclal dlsh Leandro and l Look some of lL Lo Lhe
house of her chlldren (whlch l never dld aL home nor would l ever do lL) and l reLurned wlLhouL saylng a word l
aLe wlLh Lhem and afLerwards l sLudled l wenL Lo school aL Lwo and came ouL aL fle l played a shorL whlle wlLh
some nlce couslns and l reLurned home l sLudled my lesson l drew a llLLle and afLerwards l Look my supper
conslsLlng of one or Lwo dlshes of rlce wlLh an oyooqlo (11) We prayed and when Lhere was a moon my nleces
lnvlLed me Lo play ln Lhe sLreeL LogeLher wlLh oLhers 1hank Cod LhaL l never goL slck away from my parenLs
lrom Llme Lo Llme l wenL Lo Calamba my homeLown Ah how long Lhe way home seemed Lo me and
how shorL Lhe way back was! When l slghLed from afar Lhe roof of our house l don'L know whaL secreL [oy fllled
my hearL Moreover l used Lo leave 8lnan early ln Lhe mornlng before sunrlse and l reached my homeLown when
lLs rays already were shlnlng obllquely over Lhe broad meadows And l used Lo reLurn Lo 8lnan ln Lhe afLernoon
wlLh Lhe sad specLacle of Lhe dlsappearance of Lhe sun klng Pow l looked for preLexLs Lo sLay longer ln my Lown
one more day seemed Lo be a day ln heaven and how l crled Lhough sllenLly and secreLly when l would see Lhe
calesa (12) LhaL was golng Lo Lake me 1hen everyLhlng seemed Lo me sad LhaL l mlghL noL see Lhem agaln upon
my reLurn lL was a new klnd of melancholy a sad paln buL genLle and calm LhaL l felL durlng my early years
Many Lhlngs LhaL are of no lmporLance Lo Lhe reader happenlng Lo me unLll one day l recelved a leLLer
from my slsLer SaLurnlna advlslng me of Lhe arrlval of Lhe sLeamer 1ollm LhaL was Lo Lake me on a cerLaln day lL
seemed LhaL l had a presenLlmenL LhaL l would never come back so LhaL l wenL very ofLen and sadly Lo Lhe chapel
of Lhe vlrgln of eace l wenL Lo Lhe rlver and gaLhered llLLle sLones Lo keep as a souvenlr l made paper flsh and
readled everyLhlng for my deparLure l bade my frlends and my Leacher farewell wlLh a pleasanL and profound
sadness for even sufferlngs when Lhey have been frequenL and conLlnuous became so dear Lo Lhe hearL so Lo
speak LhaL one feels paln upon leavlng Lhem l lefL 8lnan Lhen on 17 uecember 1870 slc 1871 Zalde l was
nlne years old aL one o'clock on Lhe afLernoon of SaLurday
lor Lhe flrsL Llme l saw a sLeamer lL seemed Lo me very beauLlful and admlrable when l heard Lhe
conversaLlon of my cousln who Look me wlLh Lhe boaLman on lLs manner of runnlng lL was Lhe only one Lhey
were walLlng for 1wo sallors puL my Lhlngs ln a cabln and l wenL Lo see lL l LhoughL l was golng alone wlLhouL a
companlon buL a lrenchman called ArLuro Camps my faLher's frlend was ln charge of accompanylng me 1he Lrlp
seemed Lo me very long accordlng Lo my bellefs wlLh regard Lo a sLeamer AL sea l remember l spllled Lhe
chocolaLe llnally we arrlved aL Calamba Ch my [oy on seelng Lhe beach! l wanLed Lo [ump aL once lnLo a booco
buL a crewman Look me ln hls arms and puL me ln Lhe capLaln's boaL AfLerwards Lhe lrenchman came and four
sallors rowed us Lo Lhe beach lL was lmposslble Lo descrlbe my happlness when l saw Lhe servanL wlLh Lhe
carrlage walLlng for us l [umped and here l'm agaln ln my house wlLh Lhe love of my famlly LveryLhlng was for
me [oy days of happlness l found a llLLle house wlLh lle rabblLs well decoraLed and palnLed for Lhe preChrlsLmas
Masses My broLhers broLher and slsLers Zalde dld noL sLop Lalklng Lo me
1hls ls Lhe end of my remembrance of LhaL sad and gay Llme durlng whlch l LasLed sLrange food for Lhe
flrsL Llme Alas lL seems LhaL l was born desLlned Lo palnful and equally blLLer scenes! l have wlLhheld noLhlng
lmporLanL My slLuaLlon how dlfferenL from LhaL one!
Salcedo SLreeL no 22
Monday 28 CcLober 1878
_______________
(01) 1hls socalled apple" Lree ls locally named moozooltos for lL bears very Llny apples
(02) 1haL ls a naLlve (mascullne) of Calamba
(03) ln Spanlsh cbloelozos llLerally lashes admlnlsLered wlLh a sllpper wlLh a leaLher sole
a common way of punlshlng chlldren ln llllplno homes
(04) Mabolo or mabulo (ulospyros dlscolor Wlld) ls a Lree LhaL bears frulLs of Lhe same
name When rlpe lL ls fragranL fleshy sweeL and saLlsfylng
(03) Ayooqlo ls Lhe name of a small (abouL 12 cenLlmeLers long) fresh waLer lnexpenslve
flsh (1betopoo plombeos koet)
(06) A horsedrawn vehlcle llghL and alry