ABUNDANCE Internationally renowned author and speaker, Dr Wayne Dyer said Abundance is not something we acquire.

It is something we tune into.' This simple definition implies that abundance requires very little effort! The words 'hard' or 'work' or 'struggle' or even 'reward' are not even hinted at! Can it really be that easy? Is it possible to just 'tune into' abundance in the same way as we become aware of birdsong, or an interesting conversation, or a favourite song on the radio? Tuning into abundance involves opening your eyes and ears and all your other senses so that you awaken yourself to the myriad of wealth and blessings that surround you. It means consciously taking note of every good thing in your world from the simplest, like the smile of a child, to the most complex, like the workings of the universe. Count your blessings at every opportunity and, before long, you will understand what abundance really is and recognise that it has always been yours. It's all there. It always was. It only needed your attention to be made manifest.

APPLAUD THE BAD TIMES! Imagine how mind-numbingly boring it would be if life was perfect and you never felt stressed or sick or angry or cold or wet or miserable. Imagine if all day, every day everybody was smiling and happy and content and serene. On the one hand, we all think we want life to be perfect and hassle-free but, without the challenges there could be no perfection. Until you have been cold and wet you can never fully appreciate being warm and dry. Until you have been afraid and alone you can never fully appreciate being supported. Until you have been sick and miserable you can never fully appreciate your health and vitality. Until you have touched deep sadness you can never fully appreciate joy and laughter. Until you've experienced the dark you can never fully appreciate the light. So, thank the challenges. Appreciate the negative. Applaud the bad times. They are adding colour and texture and depth and beauty to your life!

AS WITHIN You know how sometimes you read something or hear something and it creates one of those 'of course' moments because you instantly recognise that what you have just read or heard is something you knew all along? I had one of those today, flicking through a book in the bookshop as I drank my Grande Americano. I can't remember the exact wording, but the author was saying that if your external circumstances are not to your liking, you need to look inside first. 'As within, so without'. In other words, if something (or someone) is driving you crazy or upsetting you in any way, rather than spending energy trying to 'fix' the externals, you need to look inwards, at yourself, to find the solution. When the inside is in balance and happy, the outside follows. I know I have been guilty (especially lately) of focussing outwards and believing that all the answers lay in sorting out the mess around me! Now I can see that I was just distracting myself from the real issues and that, in fact, the external confusion was just a symptom of what was/is going on inside! So, the crux here is that in order to put shape on our outer world and make it a comfortable and enjoyable place to work, rest and play, we (I) need to start with what's going on inside.

For me, that means allowing other people to help me in some areas as well as (at the same time) stretching myself to become less helpless in others! It's all about balance - just like yin and yang, give and take, light and dark..... What an extraordinary and enlightening adventure this is!!

BALANCING ACT The world is built on give and take. If the balance was perfect, there would be no poverty, no hunger and no wars, so it's obviously not perfect! On a much less grand scale, your personal world is also built on give and take and, if you're as 'human' as the rest of us, the chances are that the balance is not perfect there either! People tend to fall into two broad categories; they are either natural givers and have difficulty accepting anything from anyone else, or they are natural takers and expect a great deal from the world. Getting it right can be quite tricky because you first have to recognise whether you're a giver or taker and then make a conscious effort to adopt a balanced approach. Too far one way and you become a doormat. Too far the other and you lapse into total selfishness. Like any balancing act, it's an ongoing process!

BE PART OF THE SOLUTION There was a time not too long ago when I was beginning to feel despondent about the state of the world. There seemed to violence and hatred and fear and pain everywhere I looked. Of course there were good people, doing their best, but their efforts seemed so inconsequential against the tidal wave of negative energy. Then a voice in my head said 'Never underestimate the power of intention.' This voice - which may have been considered 'madness' at one time - is my intuition or inner wisdom and it is always spot on! When I listen to it and follow its guidance I never do or say anything that is not for my good and the good of all concerned. So, what is the power of intention? Well, it's exactly what it says on the tin really! For instance, if your intention is to always see the good in people people will always show you the goodness in them. If your intention is to do the best you can today, by the time today ends, you will have done the best you can. It works the other way too! If your intention (even unconsciously) is to see the greed and nastiness in the world, the world will oblige and show you the greed and nastiness.

My intention is to heal the world by radiating love and encouraging others to do the same. I know that if every single person let the natural love in their hearts flow freely the world would transform overnight. But that might not necessarily be a good thing - an overnight transformation. We didn't get into the mess we're in instantly so we need to sort it out from the inside out. What would work best is an organic, gentle shift in consciousness - one soul at a time - so that our world becomes the amazingly wonderful place it can be. Healing the world from the inside out begins with each individual. Every single one of us has a part to place. And every single one of us can choose whether we want to be part of the problem or part of the solution! It is my intention to be part of the solution - and that brings it's own challenges! What's your choice?

CIRCLES I've been thinking for some time about rearranging the furniture in my office and today - for no particular reason - I did it! I spent hours moving the desk and shelves and cabinets around this little 12 x 8 foot space, trying to find where everything sat best. In the end, it all wound up exactly where it had been before I began! Was it a waste of time? I don't think so because, not only did I get to clear out the dust and cobwebs that were lurking behind everything, I now know for certain that my office is laid out in the most efficient and comfortable way possible. There are parallels to be made with life - as always. You begin to feel vaguely uneasy where you are and sense the need for a change of scenery/job/relationship - whatever. So you set off on an adventure to find something or someone better - somewhere else. Eventually, you end up back where you started - older, wiser and with a deeper appreciation of what you left behind. In the process, you've shed some cobwebs and clutter, gained some experience and perspective, and come full circle - right back to your true self. If you re open to receive it, there is a valuable lesson in everything!

CIRCLES 2 (THERE YOU ARE!) Sometimes the most profound truths are the most obvious! Since re-arranging the furniture and ending up with it all back in its original position, I've been thinking about change and movement and how it impacts on what matters most. It sounds like such a clich, but the truth is that wherever you go, there you are. In other words, moving location or changing your surroundings only effects your outer reality. If you really, really want something better, or different the change has got to come from inside. The whole area of 'living inside out' is fascinating me at the moment, and I keep seeing examples of it everywhere! For instance, watching Live Earth last night, Madonna was singing about loving yourself first before you could love anybody else! Over the past few weeks, this has become my new philosophy. My mantra is 'It is simply not possible to truly love and cherish anybody else - or the planet - until you first truly love and cherish yourself.' On the surface, it may sound like a very selfish practice, but in fact, it's quite the opposite. To love yourself first with the intention of being better able to love others is the ultimate act of kindness - for all concerned! And it must start right now, exactly where you are, when you finally stop running and hiding and making excuses and simply accept yourself warts and all! What are you waiting for?

CONTRASTS The entire Universe is built on contrasts - light and dark; yin and yang; good and evil; day and night; give and take. To be a perfectly balanced human being requires equal measures of everything and very few of us ever attain that level of perfection! Most of us lean slightly more towards one side or the other, occasionally getting it right, just for a moment. Give and take, for instance - the foundation of any relationship - usually has one person in a dominant giving role and the other doing the lion's share of the taking. Striking a balance needs both people to adjust their positions. The giver must become willing to receive and the taker has to learn to give. From my observations I believe that we adopt our position on the givetake scale at a very young age, based on how we see the adults in our lives doing it. And that then becomes our default. It is not good to be leaning too far either way and it is only by closely examining the relationship between give and take in your life that you can recognise an imbalance. Recognising it is one thing. Correcting it is another! If you've been accustomed to living on the receiving end of life, learning to become a giver can be quite a challenge! Equally, if you've always been the one doing the giving, receiving graciously can prove difficult. As with any positive change you want to instigate in your life, the very first step is identifying the imbalance. If this is followed by a genuine intention to set things right, the ways and means to do so will present themselves and all you really have to do is be willing to learn.

Easy as falling off a log!

DANCE One of the most important lessons I've learned is that life is a dance. Sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow. When you lead, you do it gently, firmly and clearly, and when you follow, do you so with trust. The amazing thing is that each one of us is involved in many dances at any one time - and we are the leader in some and the follower in others! Some dances are slow and majestic and others are crazy and frenetic and still others are somewhere in between. Some last a lifetime - others are over almost as soon as they begin. Most of the time we manage not to fall flat on our faces, which is even more amazing and requires some pretty fancy footwork! And sometimes we do trip up or our toes get squashed and we get hurt - but the important thing is to keep on dancing - no matter what! Just keep dancing! Even if you can't hear the music or you just don't don't feel like it or you have acquired two left feet, keep on dancing! Reminds me of the words of a Garth Brooks song: 'our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.' Aon, do, tri.....!

DOING GOOD FOR ME! Does anyone else find it difficult to do things that are enjoyable and healthy? For instance, I really love long walks but I absolutely hate getting up off this chair and walking out the door. Its not that Im lazy or a couch potato, quite the opposite - I lean more towards the workaholic end of the scale but even though I know I will benefit in many ways from taking a walk, I can always find reasons not to! Is it some kind of puritanical work ethic that keeps me at my desk, or maybe good old fashioned Irish catholic guilt that constantly whispers if you enjoy it, it must be a sin? I guess it all comes down to the stories we tell ourselves and choose to believe. Right now, I am telling myself (and choosing to believe) that I am too busy to take 30 minutes off to walk the dog (and myself). The trouble is, once you recognise the story, you have to decide whether or not it really is true! In my case, I must admit that its not true and that by taking that 3o minutes to myself now I will greatly increase my effectiveness for the rest of the day. And now for the hard part leaving this chair!

FIND YOUR NESS I am blessed to be surrounded by birdsong almost all the time. It wakes me up in the morning, keeps me company throughout the day and reminds me it's time to stop in the evening! Of course, the birds are just doing what comes naturally and have no idea that they play such an important role in my life. I watched 'Me, You and Dupree last night (well, I fell asleep in the middle of it, but got the gist!) In the final scene, Dupree is talking about finding your 'ness' and that really is what life if all about. Once you find your 'ness' - the essence of who you are - the rest is easy! Birds, trees, dogs, cats, insects.......they don't have to find their 'ness' because they already have it. A bird is a bird, a tree is a tree etc etc. They are each happy in their birdness, treeness, dogness..... But us complex creatures have lost the sense of ourselves somewhere along the way. Babies and young children still have it. Their baby-ness and child-ness is what makes them so endearing. I think the cause of many of the ills of society - alcoholism, depression, drug abuse, suicide, self-harm... - can be attributed to the fact that people are feeling a deep need to feed their souls and don't know how to go about it. They are yearning for their 'ness' and are searching in all the wrong places. So, how do you rediscover the essence of who you are? How do you reconnect with your 'ness' so that you can follow your true path? Go back to basics.

It's inside you and the way to find it is to stop looking and allow the stillness to envelop you. It takes practice and for most of us it's a life long journey. But the journey within is really the only journey worth taking. It leads to your 'ness', your soul, the essence of who you really are and that's when the journey really begins!

FORGIVENESS One of the most important lessons I've learned in my time on this planet is that a grudge does most damage to the person who holds it. By holding a grudge I mean hanging onto past hurt with the intention of, some day, some how, inflicting pain on the person who hurt you, by way of retribution. I discovered that the anger, bitterness and resentment were eating away at my soul, while the person who caused such feelings to surface, appeared to be unaffected. Of course, that made it worse and I soon found myself in a vicious circle of negativity that was harming me much more than the 'sin' against me ever could. Whoever tagged the words 'and forget' onto the word 'forgive' didn't do any favours for forgiveness! It is neither possible - nor healthy - to forget when somebody has hurt you. In the same was as your body carries the scars of old injuries, your soul carries the reminders of the wounds inflicted upon it. You cannot forget - but you certainly can forgive. In fact, until you forgive the person that hurt you, the pain will never leave and the wound will never heal, simply because you are keeping it open. Forgiving doesn't mean condoning or in any way justifying a wrongdoing. It simply means accepting that everybody makes mistakes and people get hurt and that making mistakes does not make any of us bad. It just means we're human.

The old saying that you can hate the sin and still love the sinner explains this very well. It is the people closest to us, the people we care for the most, who have the greatest power to hurt us. When they let us down, or disappoint us, or cheat and lie and behave in a way that we find unacceptable, they have broken a subtle bond of trust - and that's what hurts! The only way to really heal that hurt is to go as far as possible to rebuild that bond and the very first step on that road is to forgive the person who caused the pain. Until that happens, you are caught in an unwholesome spiral of negative emotions and nothing can get better. If you're happy being miserable, carry on. But, if you would like to feel whole again, start by just considering the possibility that it might be possible to forgive the person who has hurt you. That's a huge, huge step forward - and the only one you need to take to begin the journey to forgiveness.

GO WITH THE FLOW Today was going to be one of those days I got lots of outstanding jobs finished. By this time I expected to be feeling tired but really happy with myself for the amazing amount I had achieved. Didn't quite work out like that! It's been a day of fire-fighting and running to keep up and stumbling from one (very minor) crisis to the next. And it's okay. It really doesn't matter that my desk is still a mess or the windows haven't been washed and the dog didn't get her bath. What needed attention today got all the attention that was required to sort it out. The desk, the windows and the dog will wait, So, as this day draws to a close, I am feeling tired but really happy with myself for the amazing amount I have achieved. And it really doesn't matter at all that none of it was what I set out to do!

GUT What do you do when life presents you with an opportunity that seems too good to be true? Do you run away as fast as you can, convinced it must be some kind of scam? Or, do you seize it with both hands and run with it to where ever it may take you? I think the answer to this one has to come from within. It's not something for your rational mind to call, because your rational mind will always come up with plenty of reasons not to act on anything that cannot be explained rationally. When you are faced - as we all are every now and then - with the gift of an inexplicable and unexpected chance to make a wonderfully lifealtering decision, what do you do? I believe that you actually know what to do, but may be afraid to admit it. You lack the confidence in your own wisdom to make the right choice and so you dither about, torturing yourself as you swing from one extreme to the other. . The issues gets complicated as people who love and care for you become involved and throw in their tuppence worth (which usually errs on the side of being rational!). There's only one thing for it! Remove yourself from all outside influences. Go away and be alone in a quiet and peaceful place and simply ask yourself 'what do I want to do?' The answer will show up, maybe not as you expect it, so be open to hear the voice of your own wisdom speaking to you. It could be a song on the radio, an overheard conversation, words on the side of a bus, a vivid dream or a deep inner knowing - anything. .

Pay attention! It's giving you directions to your future.

HOW BLESSED? For as long as I can remember, one of my greatest pleasures has been simply looking at places in nature where there is no trace of human interference. It's getting ever more difficult to find places without fences, wires or buildings but I am very lucky to have access to an amazing view, about 15 minutes walk from my home. It's definitely not the most picturesque of sights and it's very unlikely to feature on a postcard, but I just love looking at it - and that's enough to make it special! All I have to do is walk out the front gate, turn left and keep going until the road ends. Then, if I position myself so that all the signs of human life are out of sight, there is nothing to see but bog and rocks and sky. Anybody standing in that same spot long before I was even a twinkle in my father's eye would have been looking at the same sight. I am particularly fond of the circle of rocks and often sit among them and wonder what stories they could tell. Stone vibrates at a very low frequency and, if I am still enough, I can feel it - deep and resonant and powerful and reassuring. The whole area teems with life and never fails to remind me of my connection to everything. It's a real gift on my doorstep! How blessed am I?

I LOVE TREES I love trees. They just are what they are. The humble whitethorn in the hedgerow isn't wishing it was a mighty oak or feeling envious because the birds prefer to nest in the beech tree up the road. Trees spend their lives being trees. It seems that the yearning to be, do or have something, somewhere, somebody or someone else is the preserve of 'intelligent' life forms like us! Trees live in the moment. They don't fret about what happened yesterday or last week or 5 minutes ago and they don't worry about what might happen tomorrow, or the next day, or 'in the future'. The human brain is incredibly complex and highly-evolved, yet we can't seem to grasp that the only moment worth considering is the one we're experiencing right now! We wander back to what was done and said and project forward to what might be done and said, simply ignoring this perfect moment - this present. If only we could be fully in this moment we would see that, right now, everything is as it should be. Everything is perfect. The trees know!

IMAGINE! 'Imagine' is a magic word! It opens up all sorts of possibilities and encourages us to broaden our minds and allow our thoughts to roam free. It encourages us to look in all directions and dimensions. We can imagine what life will be like in five, ten, twenty years time. We can imagine how it feels to be that bird in the tree, or that cow in the field. We can imagine flying to the moon and visiting the stars. And we can imagine what it must be like to experience a different life. In fact, we can imagine just about anything - there are no limits. Every material thing around you now - the clothes you're wearing, the chair you're sitting on, the screen you're reading - was first imagined by somebody. It began as a thought, an idea for something that did not already exist, and then it became real. Imagination is the breeding ground of the future. We can remember what is over and done with. We can see the here and now But we can only imagine what is yet to be. What a gift! Use it well!

INNER POWER Modern medicine is a wonderful gift. Without it, many people would die sooner or suffer longer. And yet, because of it, many of us have chosen to ignore our own inner wisdom and the gifts of nature. It's very easy to hand responsibility for your health over to the medics and the pharmaceutical companies, assuming that ' they know best' because we have simply lost touch with the part of ourselves that really does know best! Even in the 21st century, we're not too far removed from herbal remedies. Who doesn't know that a dock leaf takes away the sting of a nettle or that mint leaves ease indigestion? Two or three generations ago, every community had a least one person well-versed in the use of herbs and plants and roots and flowers to deal with all sorts of common ailments. Try this; if your health is not as good as it could be, sit quietly, still your mind and simply ask your body to tell you what it needs. Don't judge the answer - just accept whatever comes up, even if seems to make no sense right now. Take note of what your body tells you - either through a sensation somewhere or a thought or an image - and file it away. You don't have to do another thing - unless you want to! By tuning into your own body and asking it to share its wisdom, you will begin to become more and more aware of your inner power and less inclined to hand it over to anybody else!

INTUITION Lately I've been becoming more and more aware of the intricate way we're all connected to each other. The '6 degrees of separation' theory says that, through the network of the people we know and the people they know etc, none of us is more than 6 steps away from knowing everybody else. But, when you see how something like a chance word or a snippet of an overheard conversation can create an incredible domino effect that leads to amazing things happening, you may begin to believe that we're much closer! For me, acting on intuition has brought the most amazingly wonderful results of late and led me to people, circumstances and events that have the potential to literally change my life, in a very positive way! Everybody is intuitive. It's as natural to us as breathing, but, as we grow up, most of us efficiently bury it deeply in our rational minds and become afraid to trust it because, let's be honest, sometimes what it's prompting you to do just doesn't make sense! And, because we've always been told that 'sensible' equals 'responsible model citizen' the ability to listen to our gut feelings is suppressed. But it's not gone away you know! It's always there, always prompting you to make that phone call or take a left turn or contact that old friend, but so many times we choose not to listen, or we rationalise the feeling out of existence. To access and learn to use your intuition is very simple. You knew how to use it as a child and it's just like riding a bike - you can never forget. All it takes is for you to be willing to listen and to trust what you're hearing.

Start small. The next time the phone rings, see if you can tell who's calling before you answer. You only need to relax and not fret or strain. Just still your mind and notice what images appear. It could be a face or a name or a feeling. If you get it wrong, don't worry. How many times did you fall off your bike before you found your balance? Intuition is a precious gift that connects us to each other in ways you simply can't imagine, until you begin to follow it and see where it leads!

KEEP GOING! Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Anais Nin. Getting stuck somewhere in the process of becoming all you were born to become is fairly common and happens to all of us at one time or another. Getting stuck is never a problem - staying stuck is when you run into trouble! It seems that the further along life's journey you travel, the stronger the temptation to stay down when you fall down becomes! And yet, paradoxically, the realisation that staying down is really not an option becomes stronger, so you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again! I think if I was asked to sum up 'Life and How to Make the Most of It' in two words I would say ' Keep Going!.' Whatever happens, however things seem to be, just keep going. Because, as long as you're moving, you're living!

LIFES A CIRCLE! Its easy to believe in an abundant and loving Universe when everything is going well. Youre swimming with the tide, the wind is at your back and youre coasting along, full of the joys of life! Then you hit a speed bump and begin to wobble and, although you try your best to hold on to that positive attitude, the doubt starts to creep in. And the more the doubt gets a foothold, the more evidence to support it seems to appear. It is at this point - when all physical evidence points to the contrary, when you most need to believe in an abundant and loving Universe but cant see or feel it anymore that good old fashioned blind faith comes into play. Faith is what you hold on to when the only other option is despair. Faith is what keeps you looking up and forwards when you only want to look down and backwards. Faith is what sustains you when there is absolutely nothing else. How do you develop faith? I think it has to start with hope. If you can find even a tiny spark of hope in any situation, you can nurture that hope until it becomes faith that a positive outcome is possible. As your faith gets stronger, that positive outcome begins to look probable. Then one day you notice that you believe in an abundant and loving Universe and youre on top of the world again. Until the next time! Lifes a circle!

LISTEN! If there was one thing and one thing only that you could teach people, what would it be? What would you like to impart to the world before you leave? For me, I would like everyone to appreciate the importance of silence. I find that a daily dose of silence is as vital to my well-being as food or water. Without it, I soon begin to feel off-balance. But where do you find silence in a noisy, busy world? Thats the really interesting part! When you train yourself to find the silence within, you can make contact with it anywhere, anytime, no matter what chaos is going on around you. You can choose to view and interact with the world from this powerful still point. I learned to contact this inner silence through meditation but there are many other methods and whatever works best for you is the one to use. Maybe you can access your silence when youre exercising, or writing or painting or fishing or being in nature or by concentrating on your breathing. It really doesnt matter how you find it, as long as tuning into silence even for a few minutes becomes a regular practice. The benefits are amazing!

LOVE WHAT YOUVE GOT There's an old song that goes 'if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.' While that may not be the best relationship advice, it works really well for other aspects of life. For instance, 'if you're not in the job you love, love the job you're in.' Or, 'if you don't have the body you'd love, love the body you have.' Or even, 'if you're not living the life you'd love, love the life you're living.' It's all about attitude and perspective. If there is anything - absolutely anything - that you are unhappy with about any aspect of your life, simply adjust your attitude and perspective and, hey presto!, everything changes for the better. If you don't believe it can be that easy, try it for yourself. Choose something you're unhappy with in your life; your job, your body, your health or your relationships. For the next 21 days (as long as it takes to make or break a habit) make the commitment to consciously speak, think and act in a positive way about that one aspect. It takes practice and you will sometimes find yourself slipping back to your old negative ways, especially in the beginning. But, persevere and, every time you catch yourself being negative, adjust your attitude and perspective until you again thinking only positive thoughts and loving what you've got! Be warned though! This is life-changing stuff so make certain you really want to change before you begin.

MOVE! I was sitting at my desk yesterday and I was stuck. Nothing was flowing or moving the way it should and I was getting more and more frustrated. As usual, the dog was sleeping at my feet, oblivious to everything. As the thought, maybe Ill go for a walk formed in my mind, she got up, stretched and then shook herself vigorously before doing her usual were going for a walk dance. That shake seemed to move her from semi-conscious to bubbling with energy in seconds, so I decided to give it a go! By moving my shoulders and arms in one direction and my hips and knees in the opposite direction and letting my head do its own thing I was able to do a pretty good impression of a doggy shake. The effect was instantaneous and amazing. First, it made me laugh at the thought of how ridiculous I must look. Then I realised that I was having fun. And then, I became aware that the energy within and around me had changed dramatically. Try it yourself (at your own risk!) and see what a difference it makes to your energy level. (If you have a bad back or any other ailment or injury its best to find another way to boost your energy.) I suppose the message here is, when youre stuck, you dont have to stay stuck. Move the energy surrounding you by doing something completely different to the task at hand. The fact that my dog knew I was going to take a walk almost before I did is for another day!

NUMBER ONE As children grow up, the adults who care for them knit a set of beliefs and values around them to teach them how to be in the world. Many of us never examine what we were wrapped in and wear this borrowed set of beliefs and values all through our lives. Lately, I have found myself unpicking some very old and well worn beliefs that I accepted as truths until now. For instance, my generation was taught that it is selfish to think of yourself. 'Looking after Number 1' was considered a character fault, especially in girls who were assumed to be naturally inclined to look after others. But the bottom line is, you simply cannot nurture others unless you first nurture yourself. This concept will seem alien to many women - and some men - who were brought up on the notion that always putting others first is the noble and right thing to do. In the long term, suppressing your own needs in order to care for others is guaranteed to backfire. Resentment, frustration, disappointment and anger - probably well disguised - will begin to demand attention. These negative feelings usually manifest as a physical or emotional disease. Our bodies are trying to tell us to pay attention to our own needs on all levels, but we refuse to listen and continue trying to project love and caring and kindness out to the world.

And one day, you just can't do it anymore because you're running on empty. It's as if the love in your heart was a jug of water and you kept giving the water away without ever taking the time to refill the jug. That's when you need to start looking after Number 1. Take some of that wonderful nurturing and turn it on yourself. Go and do whatever it takes to refill your jug - and remember to keep doing it as often as necessary. It is only when you can treat yourself with the same level of kindness, thoughtfulness and love that you lavish on others, and when you look after yourself as well as you look after others, that will you able to be truly loving, kind, caring, thoughtful and nurturing.

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS Whoever said 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' was talking utter rubbish! If the dog is willing to learn, age is irrelevant. The person who said 'you learn something new every day' had a much better attitude and understood that life is one big lesson, comprised of many, many smaller lessons. Class begins at conception and continues until death and every day there really is something new to learn - if you want to! As I was growing up I believed that adults knew all there was to know. Some of them certainly acted as if they did (and possibly believed they did). But, the older I get the more I realise I don't know and the more I see the possibility of ever knowing even a small fraction of everything get even more remote. And it doesn't matter. For me, all that counts is that I still haven't shed that insatiable curiosity about Life, the Universe and Everything we are all born with - and I never intend to. It gets me into big trouble sometimes - like when the subjects I've chosen to study present serious challenges - but it never fails to intrigue and delight me when I work through them and reach that 'aha!' moment when it all makes sense. I'm not talking about studying in the academic sense here, but the lessons involved in opening myself to learning to be a fully functioning spiritual being in a high tech human world.

These lessons include practical things like learning more and more about the internet every day and figuring out the finer points of MS Word as well as deeper (more challenging) levels which include recognising and discarding old negative patterns and allowing myself to be vulnerable. So, as far as new tricks go, this old dog says 'bring them on!'.

PAY IT FORWARD I've been coming across a phenomenon a lot lately called 'pay it forward'. It works like this; you do something kind for someone else - literally, out of the goodness of your heart - without expecting any reward. If they want to repay you, you tell them to do something kind for someone else, without expecting reward and so on. You create s domino effect that leads to an ever-increasing circle of kindness and love, all out of the goodness of your heart. You can see it in action all over this site in fact. We are creating a virtual community of kindness. For the next 24 hours, see if you can spread that circle a bit wider. You don't need lots of money or time or even any special gifts to share. All you need to do is open your heart and let your goodness show! Smile warmly at a stranger. Say hello to your neighbour. Treat everyone who serves you in a shop with respect. Call a friend you haven't seen in a while. Play with a child. Expect nothing in return - but you will be richly rewarded!

PERCEPTION When I was a kid, every bedside locker in every hospital ward and in every sick room had a bottle of Lucozade sitting on it. I grew up - as did everyone of my generation - equating Lucozade with illness. In recent times, clever marketing people have turned this on its head and the product is now firmly associated with health. It's basically the same product, in more or less the same packaging, still using the same colour scheme. All that has really changed is our perception. It's quite a powerful thing, perception, because, even though it can change radically, we always accept what it tells us. When we considered Lucozade a drink for sick people we were right, and now that we view it as part of a healthy and active lifestyle, we're still right. In this case, our perception was manipulated by a serious and sustained marketing campaign that re-educated us to see the product in a different light. But, it's quite simple to manipulate your own perception if you are not happy with what it is showing you. If you perceive the world as a dangerous and frightening place, you will subconsciously seek out circumstances, people and events to support that view - and you will find them! When you do, you will than have 'proof' that the world is a dangerous and frightening place and your perception is locked on that.

But, if you can recognise that it is only your perception of the world that makes it appear dangerous and frightening and instead consciously seek out evidence that you are living in a loving and kind place, your perception will change as you attract loving and kind circumstances, people and events to you. Try it! What have you got to lose?

PERFECT I was having a conversation today with a friend about how much we all beat ourselves up for not being perfect, when in actual fact, we should be celebrating our imperfections (and each other's) and seeing them for what they really are. What a flat and uninteresting place it would be if nobody made any mistakes or ever got anything wrong! Just think how frail and vulnerable we'd be if we never experienced any setbacks or disappointments. Imagine if every day, in every way, was simply flawless. Nobody committed a crime - not even as much as breaking the speed limit. Every child went to school with every bit of homework done. Everybody was punctual and everything started, ended and arrived exactly on schedule. There were no accidents of any kind - no spilled milk to cry over, nothing to regret or apologise for. Everything was always perfect. But, how would the next generations know what perfect was, if that is all they ever experienced? How could they appreciate the absence of mistakes if they didn't know what a mistake was? So, let's all rejoice in our imperfections and laugh about our mistakes. Without them, there would be nothing to strive for!

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Are we finally becoming aware of the Earth and the impact our presence has on her? I watched some of the Live Earth concert over the weekend and- in spite of the carbon footprint created by the concerts and the vague uneasiness about celebrities jumping on bandwagons - I came to the conclusion that any publicity about the damage being done and how we can all help is better than none. On one hand, this huge issue is far too much for any one person to deal with. And, on the other hand, it is only by each one of us taking personal responsibility for how we treat our planet that any real and lasting improvement can come about. Since Live Earth, I have been more aware of turning off lights and conserving water - and I have discovered that, although I believed I was already doing my best, there was plenty of room for improvement! The more I think about it and talk about and write about it the more convinced I become that the world will be transformed from the inside out. As soon as a critical mass of people realise that real and sustainable change must start with the person in the mirror, everything will begin to improve.

POSITION I'm really good at picking up and remembering bits of random information. Knowing things like which fruit has the most calories and who invented cat's eyes means I'm quite an asset on a table quiz team! One scrap of information I picked up a few years ago while flicking through a very old Aviation magazine in a waiting room had quite a profound effect on my life. There was a short paragraph on a new device that could improve the time an aircraft was on course during any journey. Apparently, when a plane is travelling from A to B, it actually spends most of the journey off course. The only reason it manages to land where it's supposed to land is that pilot is constantly adjusting the height, direction, speed etc. It goes left a bit and right a bit. Up a bit and down a bit. It tilts one way and then the other. And it doesn't matter - as long as the pilot knows where they're going and keeps it pointing in that direction! And so it is with life. All you need to do is figure out where it is you want to end up, point yourself in that direction and keep moving. If you find yourself drifting or slowing down, just refocus on your goal. Keeping on course is actually the easy part! The really hard work is in knowing where you are in the first place and finding out where you want to go! Once you have those two pieces of information, it's all plain sailing - or flying - from there!

POVERTY Today I was thinking about Mother Teresa and Gandhi and how they really didn't do much for the image of spirituality! Before you scream 'blasphemy!' and start looking for my head on a stick, let me explain that they are both huge heroes of mine. They were kind and gentle people who brought about huge change using the power of love. My gripe - if you could call it that - is that because neither of them had any material possessions, they fed the notion embedded in our collective consciousness that equates goodness with poverty. In other words, somewhere deep in my psyche is the belief that spirituality and financial abundance are mutually exclusive. Poor = good person. Rich = bad person. On an intellectual level, I know this is nonsense. Belittling, diminishing or denying myself does not make you any better. If I have, it does not mean that you have not. The Universe is one of abundance - not lack so theoretically, everybody can be rich. This is my issue and one that I struggle with constantly, but I have discovered that it is quite a common struggle among those on a spiritual path. There are good and humanitarian rich people everywhere Oprah, Richard Branson, Bono, Bob Geldof...- who enjoy abundant lifestyles as well as a deeper search for meaning. Mother Teresa and Gandhi are taking the flak for my skewed perspective (for which I apologise!) but they are also helping to make me aware of the flaws in my thinking about abundance (for which I am grateful!).

And I very much doubt either one of them would have considered themselves poor!

RAT RACE Last night I stayed with my sister in Bray (on the East coast, for all you foreigners). I needed to be back (to the West coast, where I live) as early as possible today so I got up at 5am to catch the train into the city so that I could get the first bus home at 7am. In the past I would regularly have done that early morning run - ie spend the weekend in Bray and get up at the crack of sparrowfart on Monday morning to drive back to Galway in time for work! I remember from those days how quiet everything was at that time of the day. Everyone was still asleep and the only people you'd meet would be the die-hard party people on the way home or the fanatical super-fit out for a morning jog - and sometimes the milkman! Today was very different! It's a 30 minute walk from my sister's house to the DART station and I really didn't expect to meet another living soul but I was very wrong! There were people on their way to work, there were shops open, there were people making deliveries It was 6.30am by the time I got to Dublin city centre and the place was alive! It was just like the middle of the day, except there was a bit less traffic. It made me wonder about how driven and stressed out our society has become. Everyone seems to be running just to stand still - and least in our capital city. They all reminded me of hamsters on a wheel, afraid to stop running in case they get left behind - or run over! It's easy for me, living in the countryside in the West of Ireland, to be laid back and to feel centred and grounded - but the real challenge must be for those people living in the centre of the madness.

That's when it would be most difficult - and most important - to touch the silence within, but you'd have to stop running first!

REAL SAINTS We used to have pictures and statues of saints all over the place when I was in school. Pious-looking men and women standing or kneeling with their hands joined in prayer and their eyes looking up to heaven. . To be honest, they didn't really look like the kind of people you'd want to hanging around with on a Saturday night! . Boring, boring, boring! . I have been blessed to meet some real live saints in my time and, believe me, they are anything but boring! . The saints I have met are so human, so ordinary, so normal, so real and yet so special that I always come away a better person. . They're not perfect - far from it! Some of them smoke (and not just tobacco) and most of them drink. Their language is often colourful and not very 'saintly'. None of them wears sack cloth and ashes or feels the need to torture or deprive themselves physically. . And yet, each one of them has an inner glow, and a stillness and peace surrounding them that affects everyone who meets them. . The only thing they all have in common is a thirst for the truth and a passion for honesty and love. . By seeking the truth is every situation and every person and responding with honesty and love, they make their world, and every one in it, better. .

They raise the bar and encourage us all to follow their lead and live a gentle, truthful, honest, loving life. . And they don't have a halo between them! Bless them! .

RECIPE FOR CHANGE Did you ever have one of those moments of sudden insight? I had one today, sitting in a bookshop, sipping coffee. (Yes, a bookshop that serves coffee what could be better?) A woman at the next table was on the phone, telling the person on the other end of the line how to her house. I wasnt even consciously listening but I suddenly realised that, no matter where you are, you can find your way to where you want to go as long as you fulfil a few basic criteria. First, you have to know where you are. It sounds fundamental, but without knowing your starting point you cannot accurately plan your route. Then, you have to know where you want to go. Again, it seems like a no-brainer, but if you dont know where you want to go, how are you ever going to get there? Once you know where you are and you know where you want to go all you have to do is turn yourself to face the direction of your destination and keep moving forward until you arrive! Its that simple! You will need to keep checking a couple of things regularly as you go along, such as, are you still moving in the right direction and are you sure that you still want to go where you thought you wanted to go when you set out? Assuming that you hold your course and dont change your mind or wander off on a tangent, you are guaranteed to arrive at your destination.

This formula works equally well if the destination is a real place, a better you or something material you want to manifest. Try it!

ROLLERCOASTER There are so many metaphors for this experience we call life but the one that's resonating with me at the moment is 'life is a roller coaster.' You get on a roller coaster expecting to be frightened and challenged and thrilled along the way - and you're never disappointed. At some point, you're going to wonder if getting on was a good idea, but there is no way off, so you just have to go with it and ride the ups and downs and twists and turns and lurches and bumps until you get to the end. There are also times along the way when you feel absolutely certain that you are going to die. There is no way out. You are about to crash and burn. All you can do is close your eyes and hang on and hope that the illusion of impending death is just that - an illusion. And just when you think it's all over, the ride takes an unexpected turn and you're back on track! Life, like a roller coaster, can very often take your breath away and bring you right to the very brink. And when it does, the only thing you can is let go of your version of the outcome and trust that everything will turn out all right in the end.

SHINE! It really doesnt matter how or where or when youre born; or how, or where or when you die. All that counts, is what you do with the time in between the moment you gasp your first breath and the moment you release your last. Once we get through childhood, most of us go through our allotted time in these finite and relatively frail bodies focussed on what is not right, with the world in general and within our own lives. We suppress our natural curiosity, joy and sense of wonder and become bogged down and immersed in the business of living. In the process, we bury the spark of divine light we carried into this world and wonder why we always feel theres something missing! The truth is, nothing is missing and you are perfect as you are. Maybe its buried so deep under years of pain and denial that youve forgotten it ever existed, but you are still carrying within you the innate potential to be, do and have all your heart desires. Every one of us is born programmed for success, with unique talents and with the ability to shine, but we get sidetracked by circumstances. What do you love to do? What makes you lose track of time? What would you gladly do without being paid? What floats your boat, rings your bell and makes your heart sing? Lifes too short to be miserable!

SILENCE I wonder if silence actually exists? Even as I sit here in silence I can hear the hum of the computer, my fingers on the keyboard, the breeze singing through my wind chime, a dog somewhere in the distance... If I was under the sea, I would hear the sound of my own breathing. In a vast desert with nothing but sand for miles around, my body would still be making noise and I would be aware of the sound of my footsteps. Even in a vacuum, until I expired I would hear my heart beating. So, it would seem that, from a physical perspective, there is no such thing as the total absence of sound. But, the kind of silence you can touch when you still your mind, relax your body and slow your breathing is beyond the physical realm and has very little to do with blocking out noise. That silence is internal. It rises up from deep within and fills you until all external sounds fade into oblivion. It's a renewing, restoring, replenishing silence and - rather than being the absence of anything - it represents the presence of everything that really matters. In this space, time stands still and you are free to simply be. Some people find it through meditation or Tai Chi or music, others can lose themselves totally in an activity and access it there.

Where and when and how are irrelevant. All that matters is that you do yourself the huge favour of finding a way to touch your own silence. Because that's where the real healing happens and living life to your full potential begins!

SOUND I've been thinking about sound recently and the effect it has on me. Certain sounds are really comforting, like the sound of the car on the gravel late at night at the weekends as my children arrive home safely. The sound of the wind and rain against the windows when everyone is warm and cosy inside is another comforting sound. I love the sound of laughter, children playing and the wind chime outside my office. The birds never fail to enthral me. Different types of music can make me want to dance or sing or sit still and always takes me to another place! The voice of a friend on the telephone is a sound I treasure deeply. I am moved by the sound of honesty - honest pain, honest pleasure, honest anger...- and always feel privileged when I hear it. My cat purring on my lap or the dog breathing softly as she sleeps are sounds I could listen to forever. The sound of drums never fails to get into my soul, no matter what the rhythm or what kind of drum is being beaten. I love piano music, a good tenor voice and the chord E minor! I love the sound of water - from crashing waves to rain on a roof - the breeze in the trees and all the sounds of nature. I love the creaking of our house at night and the weird, gurgling noises the pipes make.

But, above all else, the one sound I love most of all is the sound of silence. If you don't think silence has a sound, you haven't been listening!

STAY COOL We all have to deal with negative people. You know, the kind of person who never seems to be able to talk about anything but bad news and delights in sharing the latest gossip or rumour or prophesy of doom and gloom. They are in every walk of life and there are lots of them so it's virtually impossible not to encounter them regularly. So, how do you deal with them? Contradicting them - trying to counter each negative remark with a positive - is, I have found, not only exhausting, but futile. Even if the nay-sayer hears what you are saying, he or she will simply dig deeper in order to heap even more evidence that this is bad and dangerous world onto their argument. The key, in my experience, to protect yourself against an onslaught of negativity is simply to imagine yourself cocooned in an invisible shield that deflects anything that is not for your higher good away from you. You can listen to what is being said, you can even nod sympathetically if this is appropriate, but you will be totally immune from contamination. Your positive mental outlook will remain intact and your energy will not have been depleted. In fact, by you staying focussed on the higher vibration of positive energy, it could well have a beneficial effect on the person spouting the negativity, if they stopped long enough to notice it! However, if you consistently protect yourself in this way, and never allow the negativity to drag you down, it is quite possible that, slowly but surely, long term exposure to a neutral response will begin to raise the energy of negative people.

Maybe, just maybe, if enough of them can be converted to neutral, they could all be encouraged up a notch! So, stay cool!

STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR? Today I parked my car on the 4th floor of a multi story car park. When I got back, I paid the fee, got in the lift and pressed 4. The lift went up, the doors opened, I got out. But the car was not where I had left it. I was sure I had parked it on the right, about half way up, but it wasn't there. Thinking I must be losing it, I walked around to the other side of the car park - and it still wasn't there! So I walked up and down the rows of cars, wondering if I should call the police and why anybody would want to steal a 1998 Vectra when there were much nicer cars around. And then I noticed something quite significant - I was on Level 2, not 4. I could have spent the rest of my life looking for the car on Level 2 but would never have found it - because it wasn't there! I could have hired the best forensic team in the world to look for clues but they wouldn't havefound any - because it wasn't there! I could have called out the national guard and the army and anybody else who cared to tag along to search for it but they'd never find it because it wasn't there! What struck me about this experience was that many of us spend years looking for something that's missing from our lives without ever questioning whether or not we're looking in the right place. </p><p> It may seem blindingly obvious, but no matter how hard and diligently and thoroughly and passionately you search, if what you are searching for is not where you are searching, you are never going to find it.

The moral - if there must be a moral - of this story is, if you feel that there is something missing in your life, take a minute to be sure that you're trying to find it in the right place. Happy hunting!

SWEET MYSTERY Has anyone else noticed that spirituality is becoming more mainstream? I've been considered 'weird' my whole life because I regard myself as a spiritual person and am constantly hungry to learn more and more about the Big Questions: Who are we? Why are we here? Where did we come from? Where are we going? What are we going to do when we get there? How will we know we've arrived? Until very recently, I had one good friend with whom I could have a conversation about such matters! Whenever we did start to talk about 'deep' things, everyone else in our company would roll their eyes and tell each other 'there they go again!'. Lately I am meeting more and more people who openly tell me, without a hint of embarrassment, that they meditate regularly or attend prayer meetings or talk to angels. Having ploughed a lonely furrow for so long I am really delighted with the company! Perhaps it's a symptom of the collapse of the traditional role of the Church? Maybe it's a sign that we are actually moving towards more enlightened timed? Whatever the reason, I believe it can only be good that people in general are becoming aware of their own divinity. That's what I think spirituality is all about - becoming aware of our divinity, learning that there is no old man with a beard in the sky sitting in judgement, realising that we are, in essence, all God or the Tao or whatever you chose to call the source of all love and light.

It's an ever-growing awareness of the lack of separation. Or, to put it another way, an every-growing awareness of the level of connection. Everything - and everyone - just is. It's as simple - and as complicated - as that! Sweet mystery of life!

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE Did you ever notice the way families and groups of friends develop their own language?. For instance, in my family home, where I grew up, the tumble dryer is always referred to as the 'go-rounder'. This humble, yet useful, household appliance got its new name many, many years ago when I was trying to tell my sister where I'd left the blouse I borrowed and couldn't think of the right word. And she immediately knew what I meant! Our family is now in its third generation of people who refer to a tumble dryer as a 'go-rounder'. We had a dog called Caesar once who always slept on the step halfway up the stairs, where it turned. Almost 40 years later, (!) that spot on the stairs is still called Caesar's Landing! On this site you may have noticed people who knew each other from a previous forum referring to rabbits occasionally. I can't remember who started it, but bunnies became something of a running joke for many, many weeks! There is something really warm and comforting and familiar about have these common reference points that make absolutely no sense to anyone else. Maybe you could call it the language of love?

TIGERS 'If you know the point of balance, You can settle the details. If you can settle the details, You can stop running around. If you can stop running around, Your mind will become calm. If your mind becomes calm, You can think in front of a tiger. If you can think in front of a tiger, You will surely succeed.' Mencius 372-289BC

Very few of us will come face to face with a real tiger as we go about our lives but each one of us confronts challenges and obstacles of varying sizes and varying degrees of seriousness on a regular basis. What's the 'tiger' in front of you right now? Money or relationship difficulties? Coping with loss? A sense of unfulfillment? Whatever it is, this ancient Chinese wisdom offers a way to deal with it. To succeed, it says, you need a calm mind. To achieve a calm mind you must stop running around. To stop running around you have to settle the details and to settle the details you need to know the point of balance. To know the point of balance requires that you spend time looking within yourself connecting to the stillness and the silence. In this busy world it's easy to deny that there is stillness and silence in you - but it's there. Just as sure as you breathing in and out there is, deep within you, a place of complete peace beyond time and space where you are free to just be. How do you get there?

Follow your breath. Pay attention to it. Slow it right down. Be fully aware of each inhalation, each exhalation and the pauses between them. With practice you will be thinking in front of tigers without a second thought!

TIME Before I got up this morning, I was considering all the things I had to do today. As I mentally went through my list I began to wonder how I was going to make time for everything. Then it struck me that time is not for making. Its for taking! I also realised that, for the virtually all my adult life, I have been taking time even though I wasnt consciously aware of it! To explain: whenever I feel overwhelmed by the enormity of a task, or just get stuck in the middle of something, I walk away from it for 20 minutes or so and go and do something completely different. So, if I have a huge amount of work to finish before a tight deadline, or Im trying to write something creative and its just not flowing, I take 20 minutes or so and go for a walk, make a cup of coffee, peel potatoes, put on a wash, meditate anything! as long as it is not related to the task Im stuck with. Then, when I go back to what I was doing, it is with fresh eyes and renewed energy. Ive been doing this for over 30 years and I can honestly say that not even once have I said I wish I hadnt taken that 20 minutes!

TIME FLIES How fast time seems to be moving now! There is a strong possibility that this perspective is due to the fact that, once you're over the hill, it's downhill all the way - and downhill is always faster! But, in my defence, I have heard the teenagers that frequent our home remarking that the past few months seem to have whizzed by, so it's not just my increasing age! There is a sense that the passage of time is just another one of those things that is out of our control. This ties in my current belief that there is a global epidemic of resignation upon us. Many people seem to have accepted that there is simply no point taking a stand against war, racism, terrorism, genocide, hunger .... and all the many other atrocities that surround us, because nothing is ever going to change. I don't agree. I know that the human race is fundamentally good, and that we all want to live in a world free from pain, poverty, inequality, injustice and cruelty. All it will take - I think - is for each individual to find the confidence to raise their unique voice in unison with other voices and the power will belong to the people again. Then, as soon as we begin to ask better questions, we will get better answers.

TIMEWARP Today, as I watched the big, strong man that is my son sit down tired, wet and covered in dust and plaster and unlace his work boots, time flipped backwards almost 20 years and, for a split second, I was holding one tiny newborn foot, counting his toes and marvelling and their soft, pink perfection.

TIPPING POINT When I was in my teens I used to think I had been born at the wrong time - or on the wrong planet! I felt totally out of step with everyone and everything. Given a choice, I'm not sure what time or what planet I would preferred to have been born into, but I was absolutely certain I was not where I was supposed to be! Now I feel exactly the opposite! I am where I am supposed to be and when I am supposed to be. I think we are living in very exciting - if disturbing - times. When you consider all the pain and turmoil in the world, it's easy to think that we are regressing, rather than progressing. On the other hand, when you look at all the amazing things that are happening in different areas, you can see that an awakening is inevitable. There are groups and individuals all over the world striving to make this a better place to be for everyone. The catch-phrase of the moment is 'tipping point' - and everybody can lend their weight to ensuring that we tip into a positive, life-enhancing future, rather than sink further into a negative, destructive one. I see it like a see-saw. On one side you have all the angry, fearful people - terrorists, murderers, dictators, extremists, drug, dealers etc and on the other side are the loving and open people - teachers, healers, seekers, artists, us! When one side weighs more than the other, the see-saw tips.

I believe that now is the time for the all the people on the loving side to pool their energy so that the see-saw tips in a way that will benefit the whole world. I can see it happening - more and more every day. What an incredible privilege to be alive at such at time of transformation!

TONE There was a time in my life when the start of anything would set the tone for the complete experience. For instance, if I woke up late in the morning I would expect to spend the day trying to catch up. If things went wrong at work on Monday, I would assume that it would be downhill all the way to Friday. An encounter with one rude or sullen shop assistant would herald a run of similar encounters. Somewhere and somehow along the way I learned to stop doing that. I don't remember any blinding flash of inspiration or sudden insight, it just seemed to slowly dawn on me that I had options. The morning did not have to dictate how my day was and the day did not have to dictate how my week was and one cranky person did not have to colour every meeting - unless I allowed them to. We may not always have a choice about the circumstance in which we find ourselves, but we can always, always choose our reaction to those circumstances. That choice is what will determine how you live your life. You can choose to be a victim or a victor. You can choose to allow the trials and tribulations - minor and major - to grind you down and drain your energy or you can choose to remain calm and centred in the face of every storm, every celebration, every loss, every success, every achievement, every disappointment and every moment of your life. That's when you're really living.

That's when you are in the driving seat of your own life - not the weather, or the traffic, or the economy or anything else outside your immediate control. After all, whose life is this anyway?

TOO BUSY DOING TO BE I live in the countryside and am always surrounded by birdsong and the sounds of nature but I dont always hear them. In fact, I could probably go days without even noticing the gifts around me! Its so easy to become so absorbed in doing that I forget all about just being. And yet, when I get to that point in my doing where nothing is working, the only sure fire way to get back on track is to start simply being. That means becoming conscious of the fact that Ive been caught up in doing, then being aware of everything around me and, eventually, being present in the peace and stillness within me. The ideal would be to always operate from that place of being peace and still, even in the business of doing. But, hey, Im a work in progress!

TRANSFORMATION Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle said, 'It is the stillness that will transform the world' but it's easy to imagine that we seem to be deliberately moving away from stillness. The world seems to get noisier, busier, more frantic by the day. Where is the stillness in modern life? It's certainly not to be seen in our governments or other large organisations. There is little evidence of it in the media, on the streets or in the lives of ordinary people as they work to provide for their families. And yet, it must be somewhere, because this frenetic activity could simply not exist without it. The answer, I think, is that stillness is everywhere, but we have chosen to ignore it. For the transformation Tolle refers to to happen, each person must connect with the stillness within. Because the transformation of the world will happen from the inside out!

TUNING IN Most of the time we go about our business half-asleep, not paying much attention to the details. We're a bit like a radio, not tuned in to any particular channel, until something grabs our attention. Fir instance, you could be sitting on a crowded bus or train reading the paper and through the general babble of conversation you think you hear your name being mentioned. Suddenly, your ears prick up and you make a conscious effort to hear what is being said. You 'tune in' to that one conversation and can distinguish it from all the others. Take a look around you now and notice your surroundings. Now, do it again - only this time, look for the colour red. If you're like most of us, you will see things the second time that you hadn't noticed before, because you are now 'tuned in' to the colour red. Tuning in to what is around you can have positive and negative effects. If, as Dr Wayne Dyer suggests, you tune into the abundance in your life, you will find ample evidence to demonstrate that your life is abundant. Similarly, if you tune into lack, or pain, or sorrow you will also find plenty evidence. What are you tuned into?

You only have to look at your life to know because, when you 'tune in', you will always find what you're looking for and you will always see what you want to see. The key is to ensure that you are looking for good things and that you really only want to find the best in every person, situation and circumstance. It's your choice!

WERE ALL THE SAME People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering. St. Augustine, 354 430 Early Christian Priest, Author

Think about all the people in your life. Think about the people closest to you - your partner, children, family and friends. Think about the people you work with - the ones who bring a smile to your face and the ones who make you scowl! Think about all the people you encounter every day but will probably never get to know - people you pass on the street, people in cars going the opposite direction, people going up the escalator as you are going down. Each of us is unique. We're different sizes and shapes and races and creeds and colours and ages and genders. We all have our own exclusive fingerprints and DNA structure. We all have different talents and abilities and experiences and memories and opinions and dreams and aspirations and hopes and fears- but yet, we are all basically the same.

We all need to eat. We all need to sleep. We all need a place to live. We all need to make a contribution and feel needed. And, most importantly, we all need to love and be loved. So fundamentally, where it matters most, every person in this world is just like you! When we can learn to recognise and to respond to our similarities rather than our differences, the world will be a much nicer place!

WHAT FEELS RIGHT The older I get the more I learn about myself! Or maybe I should say, the older I get, the less I beat myself up about who I am? I used to joke and say that I must have been a bear in a former life because I love to hibernate in Winter. I am happy to pull everything in around me and move as little as possible until the light changes. Towards the end of this latest hibernation I was giving myself a hard time about the mess and clutter all around me. I knew I should clear it and that I would feel better once I did - but I kept resisting! Then one day recently I noticed that I had actually cleared a lot of it without even trying! I'd just been doing it as I went along. And then it dawned on me that the clutter is part of my Winter comfort like the bear gets a thick coat - and that it sheds naturally in the Spring. All I have do is what feels right!

WHISTLE My mother used to sing an old song that went Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect I'm afraid. The result of this deception is very plain to see. For when I fool the people I meet, I fool my self as well. I guess it was a very early version of 'fake it til you make it'! Sometimes, fear is good. It stops you doing stupid and reckless things. But fear can also stop you doing intelligent and positive things too - and that's the kind of fear you need to deal with. That kind of fear is often described as 'False Evidence Appearing Real' because usually there is nothing to fear but fear itself! Susan Jeffer's book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' is a must-read for anyone dealing with crippling fear that is limiting their lives. She clearly demonstrates that there is no such thing as failure and that fear can be channelled into action. Read it if you feel stuck or trapped by fear! But beware - if you are using fear as an excuse to hide behind, it's probably not for you!

WHOSE RULES? My parents' generation grew up with total acceptance of what their parents had taught them. As a result they always knew how they were expected to dress, speak and behave at every stage in their lives - and they always dressed, spoke and behaved as was expected of them. They lived by a well-defined set of rules and never questioned the validity or purpose of those rules. I suppose there was a certain amount of comfort and a sense of security in being told exactly what was expected of you and never even thinking of stepping outside of whatever convention dictated. Even though I grew up with the freedom to question, to challenge and to break all those rules I am discovering that some of the lessons from my parents - which they learned from their parents and on and on up the line - are so deeply ingrained that it has taken me a lifetime to realise that they are not necessarily good for me! In fact, they are so deeply ingrained that I didn't recognised them as inherited beliefs and assumed them to be 'the way things are'. For instance, the other day my daughter asked me why she was always praised as a child for cleaning her plate at dinner time? When I examined this I realised that it came a fear of lack (not knowing where the next meal was coming from) that I learned from my mother, who grew up during the war when food was rationed. So, eating all the food on your plate - whether you wanted it or not - was a useful survival mechanism back in the 1940's but I didn't need to learn it and I certainly didn't need to pass it on to my children! (At least I never made them eat food they didn't like!)

If you really want to grow and reach your full potential, it seems to me that you need to look closely at your beliefs to discern which ones are serving you and which ones are holding you back. Then, you build on the good ones and discard the others!

WORRIES My mother was a professional worrier. When my sister was getting married and we were all about to meet the new in-laws for the first time she was worrying that the house was a mess, so my sister and I spent a week scrubbing it from top to bottom! It was spotless! Then she began to worry that it looked impossibly clean! No matter how perfect everything seemed to be, my mother had an inbuilt default worry setting! Her preoccupation with what could go wrong was actually a great gift to me, because I saw - up close and personal - the absolute futility of worry! All through my life I saw the huge problems she was anticipating dissolve in front of our eyes and now I am a professional non-worrier! Stuff happens and you deal with it. Maybe more stuff happens and you deal with that. The sun comes up and the sun goes down. The tide comes in and the tide goes out. Worrying about what might have been, or what might be, simply has no place in my life because it is a total waste of energy. The past is over and cannot be changed. The future is yet to come. There is only here and now. Once you get your head around that, you'll never feel the need to worry again!