The Residents Rules ...

(contd)

1)Eat when you can, sleep when you can, screw when you can, but don't fuck around with the pancreas 2)Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer. 3)I.Q is inversely proportional to number of tattoos and directly proportional to number of teeth 4)A healthy patient is one that hasn't been really worked up 5)Good decision making comes from experience and experience comes from bad decision making 6)A patient needs to have normal lab values before they die 7)Don't trust anyone, they are all out to kill your patient 8)The preemies of the nicest parents always crump first 9)Some days you're the dog , and some days you're the hydrant 10)God punishes those that mess with the pancreas 11)You're not cold and dead until you're warm and dead 12)All bleeding stops 13)If you don't want to find a fever don't take the temp 14)You cant shine shit 15)You can't fix stupid 16)Double blind study, a pair of opthalmologists looking at an EKG