List of Characters Future-Past-Janie (the Janie who just got back from time traveling) Future-Janie (the Janie

who went back in time the first time) Past-Janie (the Janie from the original book, dumb bitch) Jody (dumb bastard) Tea Cake (dumb bastard 2) Phoebe (dumb bitch 2) Troys Current Thoughts on List of Scenes: -The list may be shortened if it turns out we have too much to film. Our goal is like, 7 minutes of film time. The rough gist of things is: Janie thinks she can save Tea Cake and herself from grief is she goes back in time and stops her past self from being so stupid. She has second thoughts and must travel back in time again to stop herself from traveling back in time. She has these second thoughts because she realizes the stuff she went through made her who she is today. How we achieve this message is up for debate. My goal is to make sure we have a script that is too long and we can crop it later to meet our demands. I plan to mark certain scenes as key and others as not as important and have the not as important ones up for vote on whether or not we need to crop them. LIST OF SCENES NEW: *-Future Janie and Phoebe talk and Janie realizes she must use time travel *-Future Janie meets her past self after the mayor speech. They discuss what her past self should do. Future Janie returns to her own time! *-Janie runs away from Jody and searches for Tea Cake. *-Janie finds Tea Cake and the conversation is awkard. Janie knows shes supposed to love Tea Cake, but she doesnt feel it yet. She is under pressure from her conversation with her Future self that told her Tea Cake is the one. She worries if Tea Cake is not the one. Tea Cake himself is young and foolish. He doesnt actually pay much attention to Janie because Janie doesnt have any money. -Tea Cake dismisses Janie and Janie feels awful, like she let her future self down. She mopes. -i b werkin on dis one nigga -> -Future Janie senses a disturbance in the force and realizes that her meddling in the past actually FUCKED up. So she once again uses the time machine, this time, to stop herself from stopping herself! -i b werkin on dis one nigga too -> -Future-Past-Janie meets Future Janie right before she goes back in time and convinces her not to go back in time. She tells Future Janie that all the stuff she went through made her who she really is. - I BE EBONICS-Future-Past Janie talks to Phoebe one last time about what she learned. The universe is saved!

SCRIPT:

--------------(Intro) (Future-Janie, Phoebe) Janie: Gee Phoebie, sometimes Ah sit here in mah house and think about all these wasted years. Ah didnt even meet Tea Cake till ah was in my late thirties. Ah just wonder if ah could have met him earlier. Ah wouldnt have wasted all those years with Jody. Phoebe: Well gosh Janie, the only way that could be possible is if you somehow went back in time and helped your past self meet Tea Cake earlier. Janie: Yeah ah suppose youre right Phoebe. The only way ah could meet Tea Cake earlier would be to travel back in time. Say, do you mind if ah use your time machine? Phoebe: Ah dont see why not. Just make sure youre back soon ok Janie? *Janie goes into the time machine* (Mayor Speech) (Janie, Past-Janie, Jody) Jody: Thank yuh fuh yo compliments, but mah wife dont know nothing bout no speech makin. Ah never married her for nothing lak dat. Shes uh woman and her place is in de home. Past-Janie: (look SAD) Jody: Come on Janie, lets go. *both Janie and Jody walk in place for a few seconds, Janie keeps her distance* *Jody walks off screen* *WHOOSH* Janie appears next to Past-Janie! Past-Janie: Oh lawd, who are you? Future-Janie: Ahm youfrom the future! Past-Janie: The future! Future-Janie: *wraps arm around Past-Janie* That is right! The Future! And ah come to bring you a terrible message! *steps away* That Jody fellow is an evil man. He doesnt care about you at all, and only sees you as a symbol of status and free labor Ah know youre looking for true love Janie, but you wont find it here. That man only serves to hurt you. Past-Janie: Gosh future self, that sounds mighty serious. What do you propose ah do? Future-Janie: Jody is only trouble. One day youll find true love in the form of a man whos known as Tea Cake. Here is what you should do Janie! Run! Run far away from here! Find the man known as Tea Cake! In him youll find true love! If you fail youll be stuck with Jody for 20 horrible years! Run Janie! Run as fast as you can! *Past Janie runs off screen!* (The Search for Tea-Kizzle) *Past-Janie jogs in place* Past-Janie: O Gawsh Ive asked every person Ive ever talked to and I still cant find anyone who knows where I can find Tea Cake. I just gotta find him, or Ill be stuck with Jody for 20 years!

*past Janie continues jogging in place* Past-Janie: I cant let my future self down! I must find Tea Cake! (Paradise Lost, Tea Kizzles Betrayal) Past-Janie: Oh my stars and garters! Are you really Tea Cake? Tea Cake: Yeah, thats what they call me. And who are you? Past-Janie: Im Janie, Janie Starks. Tea Cake: Aint you da mayors wife? Why would someone as important as you be looking for a traveler? Past-Janie: Ive uhh, be looking for ya because I loves ya. Tea Cake: Youseloves me? But I aint ever met ya. Past-Janie: Ah know, but its true. I loves ya. Tea Cake: Well, thats nice an all, but I dont love just anyone. However you dont seem to be just anyone. I bet youse got a lot of money dont ya? Past-Janie: Why uhh, no I dont. Jody never gave me nothing. He says ah have no use for money if ahm working all the time. Tea Cake: Well aint dat a shame, I was hoping youd be well off. Past-Janie: Well I aint, so we just gotta make due with we got. Tea Cake: Im afraid thats not good enough fo me Janie, Im a traveler. I aint go no moneys myself and Im not interested in settling down at the moment. Im young, I got my health, and Im not gonna settle down for no love. Sorry Janie. Past-Janie: Butbut Tea Cake, ahs supposed to love you. Ah have to love ya. Ah must. Tea Cake: Pardon? I reckon ya didnt hear me, but ahm not interested. Now if you excuse me, ah have to catch da next train to make it to da ball game. Past-Janie: No Tea Cake, dont leave. We was meant to be together. Tea Cake: Sorry Janie, you and I just aint meant for eachother. *Tea Cake walks off screen* (Past-Janies Remorse!) *JANIE JUST GOT FUCKING REJECTED AND NOW WANTS TO DIE A SLOW AND ALCOHOL FILLED DEATH WITH A SHITTY LIVER PAST JANIE: Aw fiddlesticks. I musta dun messed up big time wit mah one tru love in da world. 'Ow could he resis' such a lovely woma' such as ah? Ah'm gunna be righ' mad at mahself latah if 'dis dun' destroyed our relationship befo' it even began. *SILENTLY MOPES LIKE A BITCH PAST JANIE: 'Ow could ah be so foolish tinkin he would be in love at first sigh'. Ain't nothin here fo' him to like anyhow.Nanneh was righ'. I ain't got any reason to be runnin off alone wit' nuthin' but my wits an' bits. I tink it may be time to take up the gin lak mah momma befo' me. (Janie realizes she goofed and goes back in time again!)

*FUTURE FUTURE [ORIGINAL] JANIE DERPIN AROUND. SUDDENLY COLLAPSES ONTO THE FUCKING GROUND, CLUTCHES HER CHEST WRITHING IN UNBEARABLE PAIN. FUTURE FUTURE JANIE: Wut duh hell goin on? Ah feels lak mah heart be exploding into pieces. s a heart attack! Dear Lawd, Ahm dyin! Help me, gawd, Ah dun wan dah! *RUNS AROUND LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT WAVIN HER ARMS ROUND AND SHIT, THEN REALIZES ITS HER OWN FUCKING ANXIETY DRIVING HER TO THE VERGE OF INSANITY. *JANIE REALIZES HER NEW SELF IS DIFFERENT FROM HER ORIGINAL SELF, FEELS ALL SHITTY ABOUT IT FUTURE PAST JANIE: Aww damn, Ah reckon fuckin roun wit duh past aint gon get me any closuh to mah goals. Suh mattuh of fact, Ah reckon dis new me is one crazy ass bitch. She dun know uh thing bout wut she doin! She think she know wut luv is, buh truth is, she got no sense uh duhrecshun, cant see mo den two feet in fruhnt uh her! *LOOKS AROUND FUTURE PAST JANIE: Ah need Phoebes time machine gin, gottuh stop all dis madness. *RUNS AROUND LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT WAVIN HER ARMS ROUND AND SHIT LOOKIN FOR PHOEBE FUTURE PAST JANIE: Phoebe! Where yuh at, nigga! PHOEBE: Duh hell goin on? Why yuh runnin roun heuh fast lak a Jew chasin uh flyin penny? FUTURE PAST JANIE: Ah dun fucked up! Phoebe, yuhse my friend, youd understand! PHOEBE: Wutd yuh do dis time? FUTURE PAST JANIE: Ahve got no time fo yo pesterin, Ah gots tuh save duh worolod! Step aside, Ah needs tuh use yo bucket gin. PHOEBE: O alrigh, heuh yuh go. *PUTS BUCKET ON JANIES HEAD, GOES BACK IN TIME AGAIN ---PSSHHHKKKKKKKK--(THE SCENE WHERE Future-Past-Janie meets Future Janie right before she goes back in time and convinces her not to go back in time. She tells Future Janie that all the stuff she went through made her who she really is. ) *JANIE APPEARS NEXT TO THE OTHER JANIE, SCREAMS AT HER TO STOP RIGHT THERE FUTURE PAST JANIE: Dun take nutha step, nigga, yuh needs tuh stop righ der! FUTURE JANIE: Wut the hell, sweet mutha of Jesus! Who ah yuh, explain yuhself! O Lawd, Lawd, dis aint good! FUTURE PAST JANIE: Yuh dumb bitch, quit yo whinin! Ahs heuh tuh tell yuh dat if yuh put dat fucket on yo head, all hell gon break loose! FUTURE JANIE: Why? Ah reckon dis uh dirty lil trick, aint it! Duh devil sent yuh tuh make certuhn mah ol self can suffer all duh things Ah dun suffered!

FUTURE PAST JANIE: Aw hell naw! Yuh gots it all wrong! Yuh needs tuh look at dis from a diffrin angle. FUTURE JANIE: Aw hell naw! Ah gots tuh do dis, yuh dun understand! Ah gots tuh end dis madness! FUTURE PAST JANIE: Aw hell naw! Yuhs wrong girl! FUTURE JANIE: Hell naw! FUTURE PAST JANIE: Hell naw! FUTURE JANIE: Hell naw! FUTURE PAST JANIE: Ah jus bout had nuff uh dis bullshit from yuh! *SLAPS OTHER JANIE ACROSS FACE FUTURE JANIE: Wut yuh do dat fo! FUTURE PAST JANIE: Janie! Ah do understand yuh! Ah dun wut yuh did, and it dun failed! Screwed everythin up! Dats why Ahs heuh now! FUTURE JANIE: How could yuh say dat? How could dis plan fail? FUTURE PAST JANIE: Yuh dumbfuck! It gon fail cuz yo experiences make yuh who yuh really is, n if yuh go through wit duh plan, neither yuh nor Tea Cake gon be who yuh niggas were. Yuh aint gon be right fo each other if yuh go meddlin wit yo past! Duh pieces aint gon fit togetha! *FUTURE JANIE STEPS BACK, MOUTH OPEN AS IF READY TO TAKE IN A GIANT DICK FUTURE JANIE: Ah aint nevuh though uh dat before. Ah reckon yuhs right, maybe dis plan aint so flawless as Ah thought. *JANIE IS WRITING TO HER LESBIAN LOVER PHEOBY IN EATONVILLE TO TELL HER WHAT SHE LEARNED ON HER MARVELOUS ADVENTURES INTO THE PAST FUTURE PAST JANIE: Oh durn gurl, you ain't gonna believe wat ah bin' doin' fur the past few weeks......uh.....or years or sumthin'. Ah ain't no rocket surgeon. Anyway, ah bin' tinkin for longa den the amoun' o days in queer huntin' season, an ah tink dat instead of tryin tuh change da ways we act, we shoul accep dem. We shoul accep dem cuz if we don, we all gon die a firey death in the pits o hell Pheoby mah chil. Aint nuthin down thur tha we wanna see wit our mortal eyes, so you betta watch out. YA HEAR PHEOBY? DA BUCKET IS A MISTAKE. DUN FALL FER ITS WILY WAYS, LEST YE BE BEQUETHED BEFORE DA ENEMIES O DE LORD IN DA FIRES O MOUN DOOM. Gnight Pheoby.