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Robert Ringer - Winning Through Intimidation

Robert Ringer - Winning Through Intimidation

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Publishedby MJF Books Fine Communications 322 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10001 To Be Or Not To Be Intimidated? rsBN t-56731-699-9 Library of CongressCard Catalog 2004110287 Copyright @ 1973,1974,2002,2004 RobertJ. Ringer with This specialedition publishedby MJF Books in arrangement M. Evansand Company, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmittedin any form or by any means,electronic or mechanical,including photocopy, recording, or any information storageand retrieval system,without the prior written permissionof the publisher. Manufactured in the United Statesof America on acid-freepaper MJF Books and the MJF colophonare trademarksof Fine Creative Media, Inc. QM l0 9 87 6 s 4 321

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to the millions of resilient souls who took to heart Peter Finch's battle cry in the movie Network-"![s'1g mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore!"-by adopting it as their mantra and drawing a line in the sand against the intimidators of the world.

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but the Result Is 40 )ust the SameAs If He Were Glad Chapter 6 Type Number One Isn't Sorry That He He GrabbedYour Chips. 3 6 Chapter 5 Type Number Three Is Sincerely Sorry That He GrabbedYour Chips. Chapter 4 My Three Unforgettable Professorsat Screw U.C ONTENTS Preface Introduction Chapter I Chapter 2 Shattering the Myths Replacing the Myths I 3 6 X6 26 Chapter 3 PassingMy EntranceExam at Screw U. Because Warned You Ahead of Time How He Plays the Game 56 .

Chapter 7 Type Number TWo Isn't Sorry That He GrabbedYourChips. Because-In Spite of His Assurancesto the Contrary-That Was His Intention from the Outset Chapter 8 Chapter 9 My SeniorYear at Screw U. My Graduation from ScrewU.2 Reachingthe Opponent's 20-YardLine Chapter 13 Scoring Chapter L4 It Doesn't Count Until the Points Are on the Scoreboard Chapter L5 The Return of The Tortoise Chapter 16 The Return of The Tortoise: Part II Chapter 17 The Tortoise Dons His Hare Costume Chapter 1-8 The Tortoise Returns to True Form Chapter 1-9 The Ultimate Insurance Policy Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Sticking with a Winning Formula Answer: Not to Be Intimidated n\v n2E T3V n53 159 lVs n82 n98 209 2\4 220 . 63 v2 86 97 Chapter 1-0 Using PosturePower to Get the Ball Chapter 11.Advancing the Ball to Midfield Chapter 1.

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f you picked up this book in the hopes that it might explain how to get ahead in life by intimidating others, I'm afraid you've made a bad choice. If that's your aim, you might find The Communist Manifesto, Mein Kampf, or Mao Tse-Tung on Guerrilla Warfarc more to your liking. As you will see on the following pages,To Be or Not to Be Intimidated! is a guide to defending yourself against intimidating people. Be forewarned:More often than not, those who feign indignation over the mere mention of the word intimidatron are the very peoplewho are most likely to use it againstyou. So,make no mistake about it, what I have to say in this book irritates a lot of people-especially self-righteous, self-anointed saints who are mastersat intimidating others. They would prefer that most people not understand that intimidation is a common thread that

To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? runs through every business situation and a crucial factor that decidesthe outcome of many of life's most important events. At the top of the list of master intimidators disguisedas (selfanointed) saints are chest-pounding critics, syndicated columnists, and TV commentators, ever on the alert for an opportunity to seize the moral high ground. Rest assuredthat authors, filmmakers, and public figures in general ftnd it a distracting but significant challengeto fend off their intimidating mischaracterizations and misleading comments. What is a tortoise to do about such a relentlessonslaughtof distortion and truth-twisting, of having to listen to "the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools? Ayn " Rand offeredperhapsthe most rational solution for dealingwith slandererswhen she said, "Freedom comes from seeing the ignorance of your critics and discovering the emptiness of their virtue." Thankfully, I long agoadoptedher advice,and highly recommend that you do the same with regard to those who would try to misrepresenteither your words or actions.

InrrRoDUCTroN

he principles set forth on the following pagesdo not necessarily represent the way I or anyone else may wish the world to be, but the way it actually is. In other words, it is a work basedon reality, particularly as it relates to human nature. Thus, the essence of the philosophy contained herein should serve you well regardless of how the world around you may changein the years ahead. Though technology continually changes, human nature remains constant. People, by and large, are pretty much the same today as they were in the times of Confucius, Buddha, fesus, and Mohammed, and it's a safe bet that they'll be pretty much the same 2,000 years from now. For example, fesus, above all else, crusadedagainst hypocrisy. But today, 2,000 years later, can any-

As you will see. subsequent events have repeatedly demonstrated to my satisfaction that the lessons learned during my years in the real estate business apply not only to all other kinds of business endeavors.regardlessof how unpleasant it may be. is that truth. And rest assured that battering is an integral part of the journey-no matter who you are or what you chooseto believe. though. unless you be embraced elsewhere in know how to build a spaceship-and fly it-I would suggestthat it would be much easier for you to join that small minority of people on Planet Earth who are vigilant when it comes to recognizing and acknowledging reality. and failure leads to misery.because rather go to my gravea battered realist than a bloodied ostrich. The following pagesare not suitable for weak stomachs. However. most people chooseto live in a world of delusions. and people simply pain. Unfortunately. However. stubbornly refusing to accept the unforgiving realities of life no matter how great the evidence to support such realities may be.To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? one seriously say they see evidence that hypocrisy is on the decline? |udging from the way most people talk and ast. to a great extent this book is an autobiographical work centeredaround my years as a real estate broker. I sometimes think that perhapsit would be easier to yield to the temptation to become an ostrich and simply hide my head in the sandsof unreality. Finally. a warning. Why? Because truth is often painful. In the end. one is led to wonder if a resistanceto reality is geneticallyprogrammed into a Perhapsreality was only meant to majority of the human species. I always manI'd ageto pull myself back toward realrty. Unfortunately. however. anyone who misses this central point misses the book. The painful tales that lie aheadmay causeyou to .but to virtually all other aspectsof life as well. What's so noble about promoting misery? Sure. Self-delusionleadsto certain failure. My position. is always preferableto falsehood. by its very do not like nature. our universe.

. With that caveat.Introduction recall equally unpleasant experiencesfrom your own past. I suggestthat you lock away all sharp obfects and place the Pepto Bismol within easy reach before commencing Chapter 1.

hard hours." I have. How many times have you seen a person get all chargedup after reading a motivation or self-help book.A nice thought. then. but one that borders more on mysticism than reality. to be sure. he ultimately will succeed.Cneptr* [ SnerrERrNG THE Mvrgs he overriding messagein many motivation and how-to books is that if a person iust maintains a positive mental attitude and works long. 'Becaur" 6 . chosen to use the masLuline genderthroughout thii book in most instanceswhere the neuter has not been employed." and am oPposed to debasingthe English languageby mixing singular nouns and pronounswith -plural pronouns such as "they. become more frustrated than ever when he" realizes that he is no closer to achieving his goals than before reading I ftnd it cumbersometo use hybrid pronouns such as "his/hers. after the initial high wears off. for convenienceonly.

because outwardly he seemedlike the world's at least likely candidateto becomea $uccess anything. Make no mistake about it. The turning point for me came one day when I was having a discussion with a ffnancially successful acquaintance of mine l"Yern" ) who headedup his own insurance agency. let alone a successful salesman. and was very awkward in his mannerisms.Vern had always intrigued me. However. I. fell into the trap of believing that my great reward would ultimately come if I just focused on working hard and displaying a positive mental attitude. the synthetically motivated individual becomesconfusedand frustrated when finding. Sort of like waiting for one'sreward in the afterlife. but almost without excepthe tion they fail to address realities that confront a person when ventures into the Businessworld|ungle and comes face to face he with its indigenouspredators.He was quiet to the point of being shy. and worked fewer hours than anyone I had ever known. Unfortunately.Shattering the Myths the book? Perhapsit's evenhappenedto you. In addition. I experiencedthis phenomenonmany times earlier in my career. fry rewards were not forthcoming until I invested a great deal of time and mental energy into carefully analyzing my frustrating failures of the past and developing the courage to allow truth and logic to prevail. he gave no outward indication of harboring a positive mental attitude. Vern's successshattered the archetypal image of the "super salesman" I had held in my mind from the time I was a boy. too. When these face-to-face confrontations occur. To be sure. Like millions of other people. to his dismay. that |ungle predators don't have much interest in his positive mental attitude or work ethic. It helped me to better understand why so many individuals whom . this harsh reality often causesthe individual to cling to his favorite successbook's assurances that ultimately successwill come if he iust toughs it out and adheresto some simple rules. the illusions createdby the hyperbole and enthusiasticverbiagecontained in many motivation and self-helpbooks can be very uplifting.

too often causesa person to overemphasize. Vern explained that successful people rurely know the real reasonsfor their success. When I expressedmy curiosity as to why a person would be unaware of how he had achieved his own success. though they themselves almost always believe they know. as well as authors of many self-help books. among others: which all 1. and asked his opinion as to not seem to work in actual why this was so. These include.Absolutely fascinating insight. Success has a tendency to breed self-righteousness. over a period of time I concluded that there were a number of reasonswhy successful people.e. those at the high end of the ffnaneial spectrum are often self-consciousabout their wealth and . During one of my conversations with Vern. they were more successful in attracting attention than getting results. and academia are relentless in their intimidating efforts to try to make financially successfulpeople feel guilty. such societal favorites as positive mental attitude and work ethic. Over a period of time. The media. and one that I have never forgotten. tend to espouseunworkable solutions.he said it was a matter of one's being too close to the trees of his businessto see the forest of his success. The problem is that the individual with a mega-reputation as a super salesmanposes a threat to a prospect the moment he enters the room. As a result.to the exclusion of other crucial factors.. I developed a knack for spotting these paper-tiger and salespeople. With Vern's intriguing observation in mind.8 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? others had char acterized as great salesmen often lacked the results to back up their reputations. His answer was quite surprising. came to refer to them fondly as the "all show." all too often it is the very reasonthat he is not successfulat his cra{t. government. no dough" brigade. I now realize that when a person is tagged as a " great salesman. 2. i. I pointed out books did that the methods espousedin many so-calledsuccess practice.

and far more popular.It's much easier.the realities of what it takes to succeed. Shooting truth messengers considereda noble occupation in a Westis ern culture turned upside down.Shattering the Myths tend to repressthe realities of how they achieved it. Positive Mental Attitude. to sell successmyths that people have been weaned on since their earliest days in gradeschool than to say things that incur the wrath of society'sabsolutemoralists who are forever roaming the earth searching for perceived bad guys. "fust fake it till you mak e it" are perhaps the most damaging motivational words ever spoken. notwithstanding anything I have said up to this point. It has been my observation that most people have a distorted concept of what constitutes a true positive mental attitude. for commercial reasons. you can't acquire a positive mental attitude simply by standing in front of a mirror and reciting self-energizing slogans. The problem ariseswhen one relies solely on these two virtues to the exclusion of all other factors. or heartily shaking people'shands (while grinning from ear to ear) and loudly . they are concernedabout little inconveniencessuch as being burned at the stake by the envious masses.Aspiring authors of self-helpbooks quickly learn to heed Publishing Rule Number One: Reality is a hard sel/. Finall.self-help. many authors of business. yet I have heard this phrase repeatedby positive-mental-attitude enthusiasts many times over the years. there is no question in my mind that both a positive mental attitude and good work ethic are important to one's success. More to the point. force-feedingyour mind with positive thoughts. 3. I want to make it clear that. and motivation books deliberately withhold.Having a positive mental attitude and good work ethic are two traits that are so often misunderstoodthat I feel it is important to discussthem in more detail before moving on. In reality.

In other words. "Great!" when asked how things are going for you.I was lacking a method for sustaining my positive mental attitude in the face of ongoingdisappointments.This conclusion evolved into one of my earliest theories. but I can guarantee that you won't achieve them if you're unprepared. This kind of synthetic positive mental attitude cannot bring about success.and by having the self-disciplineto baseyour actions on those realities. the real estate brokerage area of the |ungle|.I would succeedin closing every deal. Hence. becauseof my preparation. sincerely believing that.You can set all the goals you want. only to end up having my head handed to me on a platter becauseof realities over which I had little or no control.1O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? exclaiming. As I struck out on one sale a{ter another. By contrast. the more conftdent he becomes. the success cycle is self-perpetual: The more prepared a person is. and prompted a major shift upward in my career. A positive mental attitude requires preparation. a true positive mental attitude is possible only through one'shaving the ammunition to back it up. but such an attitude is a result of being prepared. and the two of them work in concert to help you achieve your goals. But even after I concluded that a positive mental attitude was not a quality one could synthesrzetI still found myself venturing into the Businessworld |ungle (specifically. understandingthe realities of what it takes to succeed. it became clear to me that it was iust a matter of time until my self-esteem-and my self-confidencealong with it-was shattered. a real positive mental attitude can play a major role in one's success.The result was confusion and doubt. You develop a positive mental attitude by being good at what you do. by by being prepared. . which in turn increases his chancesof success. at that point in time. it occurred to me that even and felt a though I possessed reasonabledegreeof self-confidence I was prepared. Then. at some point in time.which translates into a natural positive mental attitude.

surely personal experience has demonstrated to you that no matter how well preparedyou are. unwanted third-party opinions. but the differencebetween success and failure usually is subtle. most deals do not close. Anticipating continual shortterm setbacks has the positive effect of deflating their impact on one's mental state when they occur. If. but it's important to point out that the dealsI closed during that year .like it or not. the key to maintaining a positive mental attitude is to aLways assume o negative result.Shattering the Myths I dubbed it the Theory of Sustenanceof a Positive Attitude through the Assumption of a Negative Result. In other words. and if you're prepared.9. a deal can blow up over any one of a seemingly inftnite number of unforeseen obstaclese. everyone is). you're in sales(which. This realistic approach to life simply takes into account circumstances beyond one's conuol. and PMA one-trick ponies seem totally incapable of grasping this obvious fact of life. for example. My income skyrocketed during the ffrst year that I implemented the essenceof this theory.was to be come to grips with this reality and assume a negative result in every deal. If you still have a pulse rate and are over 2l yearc of age. directly or indirectly. which in turn paves the way for long-tem success. hope and try fot the best.. ulterior motives on the part of the buyer or seller. or even a change in the health or marital status of one of the parties. The only way I could sustain a true positive mental attitude. for example. but assume the worct. In real estate. you should go in:o every situation believing that you can make the sale. most deals don't close. Did it work? Spectacularly. Consequently. I ultimately concluded that the only way to guard against having my self-confidenceand belief shattered was to acknowledge the reality that. Therefore. so admittedly the difference is subtle. most situations in life don't work out as planned. while at the same time assuming that you r4/on't make the sale. We're talking graduate-schoolstuff here. I reasoned. which states:Due to factors beyond one's control.

In essence. What one personconsidersto be long hours fray. my motto remains: "Next!" Forgetabout it. I would not have had the confidence tion of a and persistenceto presson after seeingone sale after another go up in smoke. I simply deleted the negative result from my mind. What one person considersto be working hard. tends to be subjective. and let the law of averages Working long. of utmost importance. another may think of as coasting.Given these realities.be iust getting by. it's noteworthy that I worked iust as hard. I simply recognized that I should not allow myself to be intimidated by those who overemphasize hard work. on the scoresof deals that didn't close as I did on the ones that were successful. there is no question in my mind that without my ftrm belief in the of Theory of Sustenance a Positive Attitude through the AssumpNegative Result.Then.It doesnot work if you simply use it as an excuse to fail in a situation where it may have been possible to succeedhad you tried harder and/or been more persistent. many instances harder. by someone else's standards. then. hard hours. and in averages. I didn't-and still don't. As to the myth about working long. hard hours. Subsequentobser- . I again emphasize that this philosophy works only if you areprepared to succeed. I was able to view each negativeresult as a learning experience and studiously focus on extracting the lessonslearned from each experience. With this unorthodox perspective indelibly stamped on my forebrain. I came to the conclusion that the words Jong andhatd are relative.It wasn't so much that I scorned hard work. When it comes to situations that don't work out. to the next deal. The whole concept of hard work.12 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? representedonly a small fraction of the total number of deals I the I worked on. whether in my business or personal life. move quickly on work its wonders. simply accessed power of the law of Also. I guess you might say that it was a paradoxof sorts in that I prepared myself for long-term successby bracing myself for short-term failure.

hard hours does not by itself assure a person of success?In this regard. which states: If your main focus is on keeping your nose to the grindstone and working 7ong. Likewise. convinced me that I work harder and longer hours than most people who drone on endlessly about their labors.000 a year might find it necessaryto work l0 hours a day to accomplish his obiectives. tnfact. When energy is continuously expended over a long period of time.It's an old axiom in football that a tired player is a player in dangerof being iniured. My answer to the "working long. quantitatively and qualitatively.Shattering the Myths t3 vations through the years have. that working long. The amount of time you must invest depends upon your individual ability and the magnitude of your goals. Naturally. hard hours" is a relative phrase. a person of greater ability who desires to earn $100. there's a point at which one's results actually become negative. In fact. a person who works too long at one stretch is in dangerof making costly mistakes. Mental and physical fatigue are natural enemies of anyone who aspires to greatsuccess. For example. Have you not seen. who served as my inspiration for the Uncle GeorgeTheory. but nonetheless there is a point at which results begin to diminish in relation to effort expended.000 ayear might be able to do so by working four hours a day. there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to putting in long hours. both the body and brain decreasetheir output. everyone's body and brain have different tolerances.with your own eyes. Also. I always think of my Uncle George. hard hours" adagebecame known as the Uncle George Theory.hard hours. you're guaranteed to get only one thing in retum: Old! One need only look at the empirical evidence to conffrm the soundnessof this theory.while someone of lesserability who wants to earn $50. Since "working long. it logically follows that there is no set number of hours per day that one has to work in order to succeed. This .

All that is required to accurately observe this fact of life is intellectual honesty. Perhapsyou're thinking that the world is uniust. the inherent truth in the Uncle George Theory. kept his nose to the Whenof grindstone. and perhaps you're right. and by realizing that working long. A11I know is that I didn't lay down the framework of reality. ftrsthand.The point of the Uncle George I Theory is that hard work alone does not dssurc one of success. I was able to make it work for merather than allowing myself to be to intimidated by others into believing that hard work alone would make me successful. your Uncle George may be a cousin.14 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? kindly little gentleman owned a corner grocery stole and worked in 14. iust good eyesight. but I didn't start making any serious money until I supplemented my hard on work with the realities discussed the pagesof this book. This didn't take any my part.to 16-hour days all his life.yetnever achievedany great degree success. i. a good work ethic is crucial to success. never had a problem with working long. And in order to construct a workable successphi- . with my own eyes. By gaining an understanding of what a positive mental attitude means in real-life terms. hard hours doesn't guarantee success. By acknowledging this truth. and I could also see that it never got him anywhere. Everyone has an Uncle George.the hours and effort my uncle put in every day.Of course.e. The reality of the Uncle GeorgeTheory is self-evident to anyone who has a serious desire to discover truth. ever you have witnessed such a sad drama playing out. as previously stated. that hard work does not prevent orre from being successful. I just learned to acknowledge it. great amount of insight on but he did get old. on the conttury. you were observing. The same goes here for what I said about having a positive mental attitude. He never succeeded getting rich.I could see..ffiy mind became a clean slate that was open to new ideas-ideas based on reality rather than myths. or perhapsyour own father-someone who has worked very hard over the years. a brother. hard hours.

as well as those that had led to success. To accomplish this. then beganpiecing together an overall phiI losophy based on my conclusions.It continually reminds me how exciting it is to grow and evolve intellectually to the very end of one. twist that I hadn. tried to be painfully honest in identifying the I factors that had contributed to my failures. often subtle. the natural processof maturation assuresthat I will continually find the need to fine tune it. .I knew I would have to build a strong foundation to replacethe old one that had not worked in actual practice.s journey through life. one that would be able to stand up to the punishment of real-world experiences. I undertook a serious study of my own past experiences.t thought of before.Shattering the Myths t5 losophy. Though there have been no fundamental changes in my philosophy through the years. I never ceaseto be amazed how each at new experienceteachesme a new.

The bedrock theory I am referring to is the Theory of Reality. and are anchored to a fifth theory that I look upon as the bedrock of my philosophy. This sounds so elementary at ffrst blush that you might question why it would deservethe exalted status of being the bedrock my entire philosophy. no matter how simplistic it l6 . which states: Reality is neither the way you wish things to be nor the way they appeal to be. becausewithout it I surely would have spent the rest of my life as an intimidatee. EitheI you acknowledge reality and use it to your benefit. but the way they actually are. ot it will automatically work against You. I use the word bedtock. Yet.CHaPTE 2 " RnprecING THE MYrHs our of the theories discussedin this chapter representthe cornerstones of my reality-based philosophy.

who concentrated on ft. I endedup with a handful of dfii dt worst. I got a ftnancial slap in the face. I spent many years of my life clinging to idealistic beliefsabout how the world works. problems-only to witness those same non-deal-killing attorneys blow up one deal after another.. the reality was that they did not. In retrospect. For yearsI accepted traditional nostrums and confused the way I would have liked things to be with the way they really were.believing the other party's assurances that a handshake was all that I needed-only to have him end up beating me over the head with his other hand! My wrsh was that I neededonly a handshake. My wrsh was that I would be iustly rewarded Ior my caring attitude. particularly in businessdealings. I went into one deal after another on just a handshake.naively clinging to the belief that my benevolentattitude would be appreciatedand that I would be handsomelyrewarded.t dealkillers-that they weren't like those "typical attorneys. the reality was that I was not.Replacing the Myths r7 may sound. that they.I arn amazedat how I managedto limp along year after year.re really serious about taking reality into account in their daily Iives. My wrsft was that each new attorney who . In my opinion.nding.sbest interest. Like a majority of people.written agreement. the single biggest causeof failure lies in the inability to recognize andfor refusal to acknowledge reality. Their wish was that these rules would work. I myself had a masochistic tendency to focus on the other person.through their actions. refusing to acknowledge reality in the face of one ugly ending after another. rather than solving. only to continually have their fingers severed when they reachedfor their chips.the reality was that I needed a clear. I repeatedlylistened to attorneys insist that they weren.At best. I witnessed many people stubbornly adhering to conventional successrules. Like millions of peoplebefore me. very few of them demonstrate. it has been my observation that while most people pay lip service to the importance of correctly perceiving reality.

one must first weigh all pefiinent factsin a relative light and carefully define his terms. Question: Have you ever met a person who admits to being dishonest?Secondquestion: Have you ever known a dishonest person? I would probably be on pretty safeground if I wagered that your answer to the first question was negative and your answer to the second question was affirmative. I ultimately made it a habit to relentlessly probe everydeal for illusions. I opted for the former. In essence.18 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? proclaimed himself to be different from other (deal-killing)attorneys would show. the reality. (a for my own well-being. there's another important factor that can blind a person to reality: illusion. but one gut-wrenching experience after another forced me to became a hard-nosedrealist.Everyonedeftneshonesty to conveniently ftt his own actions. wished that the game of businesstook place on a nursery school playground. Since I had dealt with many people whom I consideredto be dishonest. Let's take honesty as an example. and tattered become a monk. As a result. clock radio. that he wasn't a dealkiller. especiallyIf a deallooked too goodto be true. however. yet had never known anyone who admitted to being . was that the vast maiority of such attorneys endedup being worce than most of their brethren. I concluded that I must either acceptthat reality or. THE FOUR CORNERSTONES Cornerstone No.l-Theory of Relativity: In otdet to settle on a rational coulse of action (or inaction). In addition to people confusing their wishes with the way things really are. was that it was played in a vicious jungle. through his actions. I. give up all my worldly possessions biMickey Mantle baseballcard)and cycle. the reality. like most people in the Businessworld|ungle. however. It's a lot more difficult and painful to recognize and deal with illusions than wishes.

every human being interprets everything in life to suit himself. I now understood that a person could only be honest or dishonestrelative to the facts in a given situation. I'm not just talking about other people.Hard work. As another example of relativity.if someonetells me that an individual I'm dealingwith is dishonest. Are you working hard relative to how hard you usually work or relative to how hard someoneelse works? A phrase such as "working long. or both.That being the case. is a relative notion. relative characteristic. human beings have the ability to intellectualize and interpret. In fact.I'm talking about you and me as well. in other words. or relative to some individual's personal moral standards.Replacingthe Myths t9 dishonest. hard hours" has no meaning unless it is clearly defined by the user. I pointed out in chapter I that what is hard work to one personmight be semi-retirementto another.In any case/interpreting eventswith a bias toward our own well-being is a perfectly natural human trait.it's meaninglessto me. once I recognized that honesty was a subjective.when a person talks to me about success/ might have a completely I .it was clear to me that a term like hon esty was both relative and subjective.I realized that for yearsI had been operatingunder the delusion that there were only two types of people in the world: honest and dishonest. unlike animals.you can only be successfulrelative to some standard. so the key issue becomesobjectivity versus subjectivity.whether that standard be basedon your own goals or someoneelse'sachievements. A final example of relativity is to be seen in the word success.and such individuals are much more likely to be rational in their interpretation of events. I want him to carefully define what he means by dis&onest in that particular instance so I can then decide if his deffnition is relevant to my objective.There is no such thing as absolutesuccess. we can't help it. Either through genetics or environment. we're human. somehuman beingsare better than others when it comesto being objective.

it becameclear to me that the seller.Early in my careert had a of time and energyon proihabit of expendingenormousamounts ects that were.office building.I developed the habit of trying to qualify each potential activity by ftrst asking myself whether or not it would bring me closer to achieving my goals. that was his problem. Another examplewas when a seller would try to impress me with what an honest personhe was. once I became knowledgeableabout the relevant factors in closing real estatesales. Needlessto sa.In order for us to different mental picture of success must first defi'newhat he means by have a rational discussion. If the seller had spent twice as much to build an apartment development as he should have.side issues. not the buyer's. For example.his cost of construction had no effect whatsoever on the prospectivebuyer's determination of the value of his property.2-Theory of Relevance:No mattel how ttue something may be or how much it may pleaseyou. It. a discussionof his .Ultimately. had a tendency to dwell on qualities of. and thus there was no reason to worry about my commission. While I may have had empathy for him in this regatd. his property that were not relevant to the value of his property. in particular. and had little if any interest in the seller'scost of construction. A seller would o{ten emphasizehow much it had cost him to build his apartment development.he SUCCESS.s important not to allow yourself to be intimidated by vague or subjective words and statements that are meaningful only when examined in the clear light of relativity. Cornerstone No.I eliminated it or put it on the back burner. ot shopping center. the primary your factor to take into considetation is how rclevant it is to main obiective. Successresults from focusing primarily on proiects that are I relevant to achieving one's obiectives.The buyer of incomeproducing properties was primarily interested in cash flow.2O To Be ot Not to Be Intimidated? than he does. so to speak. If the answer was no.

and that I would like my commission to be increased. as such time could be more efffciently employed working on a written agreement. what was relevant was whether or not he was willing to put into writing what we had agreedupon with regard to my commission. "Trust me" has become something of a clich€ comedy line in the Businessworld |ungle.Replacing the Myths 2l honesty wasn't relevant. it was no more relevant than if I had proclaimed that I neededmore money than our agreement called for. Cornerctone No. I found that it was not only important to try to keep buyers and sellers from drifting onto irrelevant tangents. I became determined that I would not waste time and effort on issues that had little or nothing to do with my earning.whenever a seller wanted me to lower my commission (which was virtually 100 percent of the time) becausehe "hadn't rearizedhow many additional expenses"he was going to have at the closing. commissions. is not only relative. parties to a transaction need not waste their time trying to impress each other with their honesty. In becoming adept at recognizing what was and was not relevant. In other words.In business. How many sellers do you think would react favorably to that kind of logic? The only relevant factor was what our written agreement stated-period. As a final illustration of the Theory of Relevance. that was not a relevant factor from my standpoint. In fact. Sure. but to keep my own attention focused on relevant factors. I don. When my participation in the game of life ends. and receiving.t want . A discussion of honesty. it makes good senseto aim high and move fast. but that a drscussionof honesty is not relevant. but also irrelevant when it comes to business dealings. Note that I did not say that honesty is not relevant. I may have been a good samaritan and had empathy for the seller in such a situation. awritten agreementis high on the list of relevant factors. then. but that still didn't make his problem relevant the commission we had agreedupon.3-Mortality Theory: Given that your time on earth is limited.

By the same token. Cornerstone No. Most peopleblock from their conscious minds the reality that they're going to die. or even minutes.22 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? to be caught beggingfor an extra inning. As a result. what might be my only opportunity to win at the game of life. and that in about 50 billion years it will be completely extinguished. If there is something beyond our worldly existence. days. In the event I had only one life to live. I call this the Ice Ball Theory as a result of an ominous description of the earth's future that I read some years ago. I figured that. . I had no way of knowing for certain that there was anything beyond life on earth. I might be around for another 50 years or so. The fact is that I've never known a person who was given an extra inning. or any other reasonto squander-because o{ f. the earth will be nothing but a ftozenball of ice. hours. I figured I had better get on with it as quickly as possible. Llce Ball Theory: Given the apparcnt. I made up my mind that I was not going intimidation. I quit hiding my head in the fantasysandsof eternal life and faced the reality that I was as mortal as every person who has ever lived on this planet. it is vain and nonsensical to take oneself too seriously.what a great bonus that will be. with some luck. for one more chance to grab the brass ring. When that occurs. There was simply no way of knowing. and in a rcIatively short period of time at that. The author explained that our sun is slowly burning out. Accompanying the explanation was a chilling illustration of what the earth might look like at that time.eat. but I finally did so after the Theory of Reality becamefirmly entrenched in my thinking. circumstances beyond my control could reduce my secular visit to a matter of months. so I decided to base my actions on the assumption that this time around would be my only shot. ulti' mate fate of the earth and universe. I didn't like facing this reality any more than does anyone else. However.

when the earth is nothing but an ice ball.Indeed. the Ice Ball Theory eliminates stress and makes it possible for you to enjoy your quest for success. In fact.Replacing the Myths 23 As ominous as the explanationand illustration were. it's the striving and struggling for success. when I became a student of Austrian economics.rather than success itself. in light of this very long-term reality. the immediate problems plaguing me-particularly in the Businessworldfungle-were so insigniftcant as to make me feel like an ant. Each player gets to participate for an unknown period of time. The reality from my vantage point was that 50 billion yearsfrom now. And the harder someonepressesfor a result. are able to calmly maintain your objectivity. and that. I came to the conclusion that it was just another reality of life. Stressed-out individuals presstoo hard for results at crucial moments/ while you. by contrast. The Ice Ball Theory is the flip side of the Mortality Theory coin. and the name of the game is to see how many chips he can pile onto his stack. with only a ftxed number of chips on the table. as most successful people have discovered. I pictured the earth as a giant poker table upon which the game of businessis played. quite the con- . Not taking myself too seriously helped me to look at life as a game. that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. my problems of today will be too insigniftcant to have even been recorded. the less likely it is he will obtain it. Having this kind of mind-set puts you at a decidedadvantage over opponents who tend to view every deal as life or death. technically speaking. and at business as a sort of poker game within the bigger game of life. (I should point out that years later.there would undoubtedly not even be a record of the entire century in which I had lived most of my life. While on the one hand it makes senseto "go for it" in the time you have left on earth.the number of "chips" is not at all fixed. I came to understand that. that bring about the greatest amount of ioy.

to make certain that I actually rcceived what I earned.of course areof no particular use to I financial gluttons have found. "If Ltfeis nothing more than a game. if life is just a game. Recognizing that both life and businessare games also made it easierfor me not to take myself too seriously. which in turn made it that much easierto succeed.The storiesin this book. And. while I was still vital enough to play the game. only to dramatically increase my earnings.) The chips themselves. I relate some tales of woe that I experienced prior to graspingthe signiftcance of the Ice Ball Theory. In {act. but.//-v7fiich is usually the out that "Y" just happens to equal case-the real estateagent ends up with "2" las in zerol amount of money. as a bonus. why play so hard to win? " To which I would answer. anyone. So I decided to go for all I could get. I developed more important. had it not been for my earlyunderstanding of . as quickly as I could get it.After all. Businessis not a zero-Sumgame/ becausemore wealth is constantly being created. have some fun along the way?. relate to speciftc real estate deals. Why not try to win-and. and rest assured that every real estate closing ls a zero-sum game.As a result. The rules of the biggergameof life provide for the exchange of |ungle chips for material items that can help to enhanceone's comfort and pleasure.chips do serveas a means to an end. However.21 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? traryt in fact.why be afraid to take chances?The reality is that there's no way that you're going to get out of the game alive anywayt so what's the point of playing a conservative hand? In the next chapter. and if it turns //f. that either bathing in money or eating it are unsanitary habits that can causeone to becomequite ill.That's becausethe buyer is only willing to come up with "X" amount of money/ the seller insists on receiving "Y" amount of money. of course. You might be inclined to ask. and explain how these agonizing experiences helped me to further techniques not formulate my philosophy. Seemslike common senseto me. to their dismay. however.

humiliations. . I would never have been able to survive the seemingly endlessnumber of heartaches.Replacing the Myths 25 the Theory of Sustenance a Positive Attitude through the Asof sumption of a Negative Result. and frustrations that I enduredduring those early years of trial by fire.

because the discouraging remarks that were gleefully directed at me by numerous real estatebrokers and salesmenwould surely have crushed my spirit. 26 . I hen I enteredthe real estatebusiness. they would go to great lengths to tell me how tough their profession was. 3 Pnssrxc Mv ENTnaNCEExelvt er Scnnw [J. with absolutely no idea of the devastating realities that awaited me. Had it not been for those theories. how it was almost impossible for a newcomer to get started. Little did I know that I would be able to survive only becauseof two theories I had developed years earlier.CnnPrE. was both ignorant and naive. It seemed that whenever I talked to people in the business about what was involved in obtaining a real estate license. I probably would not have had the courageto becomea real estate agent.

but somehow managedto win the war (the spoils of which were none other than Katharine Ross). Battles are for ego-trippers. The guy who gets off to a fast staft merely wins a battle.I becameconsciousof the fact that I .and. And how about Rocky Balboa(SylvesterStallone) in the Rocky series? While still in my teens. resiliency. and {2) they were ferociousabout protecting their turf. Years earlier. but in the end he always got his man. the individual who's ahead at the end of the race wins the war. why it would be a mistake for me to enter their field. (my early years in the real estate business)are the focus of this chapter. He lost every battle. was a classicantihero. Fortunately. I had paid a lot of dues long before I decided to go into the real estatebusiness. which states: The outcome of most situations in life are determined over the long tem. The Tortoise is the unglamorousplodder who always seems to find a w^y to come out ahead. 27 how exceptional a person had to be to succeedas a real estate agent. The first is the Tortoise and Hare Theory.though he has a habit of getting bruised and batteredalong the way. the fumbling. was slow when it came to ftguring things out.hazingby the DiscouragementFraternity) at Screw U.. perseverance. tion.Passing My Entrance Exam at Screw U. Ben Braddock (played by Dustin Hoffman).Colombo. this kind of talk would have totally intimidatedme. He isn't flashy or impressive.so I was able to ignore most of the negative grenadestossedat me.e. the shy. stumbling detective played by Peter Falk in the old TV seriesof the same name. and I undoubtedlywould have becomeconvinced that I would be wasting my time to even make the effort.wars are for money-grippers. The Tortoise is the quintessential antihero. and his strengthsare consistency. however. stuttering boyfrien d in The Graduate. The two theories that helped me to survive my entrance exam (r. I had long before concluCedthat all members of the Discouragement Fraternity had two things in common: (1) Becausethey were insecure they flearcdcompeti. in summation.

I'11 passyou on the left.and I wouldn't mind being a little faster out of the starting gate.in a tongue-in-cheekmanner/ to compare myself to the fabled tortale.And that in turn causedme to focus on playing the hand I had been dealt to the best of my ability. That heavy breathing you hear behind you is me-steadily closing in on you. I had an inherent urge to have all the ground rules defined. is that I don't have these qualities.28 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? was a very slow starter at most things. study the Layof the land. The reality. prepare a game plan. if you slow down enough to look over your left shoulder. though I realized that I was not particularly impressive on first meeting-especially in situations where three or more people were involved-I found that I could be very effective by doggedlyfollowing up with one-on-one meetings at alater time. Having christened myself "The Tortoise. if that's what it takes. and organizeall the details beforemoving forward. So. and if you try to stop me from passingyou on either side. however. I tried to (andstill do) live by the words of Abraham Lincoln: "If I had eight hours to chop down a tree.I began. yet almost always seemed to find a way to ffnish strong. Glibness in a crowd more often than not is just part of the "all show. I learned. I can't deny that it would be nice to have the kind of personality that would dazzle people on ftrst encounter. . toise in the tortoise-and-hare that it was not so important to be the life of the party or the center of attention in a crowd.over a periodof time. I'd spendsix sharpeningmy axe. either. The big points are scoredwhen you go one-on-onewith someonebehind closeddoors. no dough" syndrome. The important thing was what happened after the party was over. I'll maneuver betweenyour legs. I finally concluded that it was my perfectionism that was at the heart of my slow-start habit. and even back in my teen-dumb days I recognized my shortcomings in these areas. I'Il passyou on the right." my motto became: If you slow down enough to loak over your right shoulder." As a result of my methodical approachto projects.

was destinedto join the legions of studentswho had flunked organic chemistry.I took a curriculum that was required for application to-of all things-dental school.Passing My Entrance Exam at Screw U. For all I knew. a tortoise focuseson long-term results. who knows what treasures might lie ahead for a relentless. If a stuttering shrimp like Dustin Hoffman could win Katharine Ross. In other words. but all that counts rs where you arc when the race is over. in more direct terms: Quickly getting out of the starting blocks may get people'sattention. I had absolutely no idea what the instructor was talking about. In the final analysis.acid bottles. we had our first laboratory session. however/ was yet to come. was the Organic Chemistry Theory. which states:Don't allow yourself to be intimidated by know-it-alls who thrive on bestowing their knowledge on insecure people.The worst. and move relentlessly forward with the knowledge that what someone else knows is not relevant. which also was one of the most dreadedof all undergraduatesubiects. after years of playing the role of The Tortoise-of ffnding^way to win so many seemingly lost racesI was not going to allow myself to be intimidated by the DiscouragementFraternity when I enteredthe real estatebusiness. too.resourcefulreptile? So. One of the required courseswas organic chemistry.I considered it to be a giant step forward when I ftnally located my laboratory . 29 Or. On the secondday. All I could seewas one big blur of test tubes. and white aprons. a molecule was a spare part in an automobile engine. When I was in college. The second theory that played a maior role in protecting me from the Discouragement Fraternity when I ftrst entered ScrewU. what is rclevant to your successis what you know and what you do. I became convinced that I. After attending the first lecture. This theory was derived from an experience I had at age2O that forever changedmy life. The course was so difficult that it had a 50 percent student failure rate. Mentally close your ears and put blinderc on your eyes.and it was like a psychedelicnightmare for me.

by golly. a drink in his hand.and colors. either. I saw him-tall. As big as life. or. a revelation that I would ultimately transform into a theory to help me snatch victory from the jaws of defeat time and again long after my graduationfrom ScrewU. ) What qualiftes an individual to be a Court Holder? It's really quite simple: A Court Holder is a person who makes a careerout of holding court. and a group of informationstarved puppies flocking around him in a semicircle-explaining how utterly simple it all is. Could this really be the road leading to Katharine Ross? Then. As I sat on my stool. in a chemistry lab.sizes. at the offtce.i. and sporting a blond crew cut and look of self-assurance that suggested both boredom (with how easy it all was) and disdain (for thick-headed reptiles like me).I would find that Court Holders come in all shapes. He was the fellow at the last cocktail party you attended-the one standing poised and charming. No such luck. Who was this tall..e. displaying what would years later come to be known as the Dan Quayle look. He can do it just as effectively whether he's in a clubhouse locker room. there he was-standing right at the end of my laboratory row-the guy who was to be the focal point of one of the most important revelations of my life. Most important. (In the coming years. The only requirement for calling his court into session is that there be two or more informationstarved subjects willing to listen to him pontiftcate. . one elbow on the mantle. I kept thinking that a savior-instructor would appearat the front of the laboratory at any moment and explain what we should be doing. a Court Holder is a master intimidator. tall and blond are by no means required physical characteristicsof this fascinatingspecies. What was especially disconcerting to me was that all the other students in the lab appeared know exactly what they were doto ing. slender. A truly professional Court Holder is not particular about where he holds court. Of course. light stranger?None other than-Sound the trumpets!-a Court Holder. all at once.30 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? desk.

such as.I decided to play the hand I had beendealt as best I could. I acceptedthe fact that I would never be anything but a lowly serf in the Court Holder's organic-chemistry kingdom.tortoise style. I never seemedto be quite up on what was being . I trudgedahead. Fantasiesof some day getting an autographedpicture of this modern-day Einstein floodedmy mind. I guessI was such a hopelesspudding head that I was consideredto be an untouchable in organic-chemistry circles. 3t the more subiectsthe Court Holder has in his court. This pattern repeateditself for severalweeks. A crowd was quickly gatheringaround him. studying my textbook hour upon hour each night. the better he likes it. I was in luck. where do I obtain a key to my locker?" and "Who do I see about getting a laboratory apron?" without so much as looking up from his test tubes."Er. Yet. As the Court Holder breezedthrough the laborutory experiments for that particular day. he graciously and simultaneously held court for a dozen or so puppies and one tortoise.He even took the trouble to answer a couple of my intellectually loaded questions. Nonetheless. That being the case. My eyesnearly bulgedout of my head as I watched the Court Holder flipping test tubes around like a professionaljuggler. And the more wide-eyedthey are with awe. I wasn't even granted a look of disdain like most of the other subjectsin his court. for me it was true love. no matter how much I studied. Surely he would not turn me away without his tip of the day. the more inspired he is to sprinkle smatterings of his seemingly infinite knowledgearound the court. though I eventually did succeedin getting both a laboratory apron and a key to my locker. However. Surely there must be a crumb or two of wisdom he could spare a hopelesslylost reptile like me.Passing My Entrance Exam at Screw U. and leafing through his laboratory workbook so quickly that I was certain he would finish the entire coursein less than two days.nonchalantly lighting his Bunsen burner backhanded. Hope shot into my heart as I bounded down the aisle toward this dazzling paragon of knowledge.

Great Blond One."Oh. where might I obtain a key to my laborutory locker!" .

you could hear moans throughout the room as the studentsbegan to glance at the complex questions. frankly. Then.e. students came stumbling out of the classroomlooking shell-shockedand talking in a thoroughly even to mention it. Regardless how much time and effort I put into it. The instructor announced the " curve" (i.PassingMy Entrance Exam at Suew U. fear ftlled the auditorium-size classroom.I must have completely misunderstood the subiect matter during my long and gut-wrenching study sessions.It . but. the questionshad not seemed I reasoned. it was obvious to me that I would always be an untouchable in the eyesof his majesty. defeatedmanner.whatever had been going on in laboratory during the preceding weeks evidently had been explainedin the textbook (which I the had virtually memorizedl. grading scale based for on averages) the test as follows: 48&up 4A47 26-39 20-25 19 & under A(excellent) B (good) C (average) D (poor) F (giveup and get a Burger King applicationf The instructor told the classthat the scoreshad rangedfrom zeroto 105.. the next highest in grade(afterthe scoreof 105)was 58. Surely. one day.Why very difficult? elsewould the test not have seemed When it came time for the test papersto be handed back to us about a week later.the Court Holder. I was too embarrassed that difficult to me.Much to my surprise.and I continued to be completely lost in laboof ratory.however. As the instructor passedout the test. 33 discussedin class.(Therehad been two bonus questions. When the exam was over. out of a class of approximately 300 students. a funny thing happened on the way to court: We had an examination. because material on the test seemed pretty familiar to me. so it was theoretically possibleto score 108on the test. The classgasped unison.)He went on to say that.

"Who is this green. he didn't evenget the 58. Of course.because my experience of ." When the bell rang. you've already guessedthe punch line.ne that I couldn't get it to stand up straight even with gum tar? Ah. in fact.In fact. but he looked so bored by the him ("You sonofagun/ certainty of it all that I thought he was going to fall asleep.I loved his crew cut. I hustled out the door. You can imagine how embarrassed was as I walked to the front of the I room to pick up my 105 test score. . The students sitting around the Court Holder began patting him on the back and elbowing you . the Organic Emperor who had no clothes. Impossible as it seemed. I immediately resigned from the court and breezedthrough the remainder of the course with a high ttA. the reality was that the Court Holder was only average.I've met many members of your species. He was. What this master intimidator did get was a solid 33 that placed him smack in the middle of the class. wherever you may now be. the Court Holder didn't get the 105. could feel 300 I pairs of eyes staring at me. can we? BlessedCourt Holder. feeling too selfconscious to talk to anyone. I want you to know that I shall forever be indebted to you.S. Why in the heck did my hair have to be so fi. Since my encounter with you in organic chemistry lab. P. Inconceivableas it may have been. . anywayT. The instructor said that it was only appropriateto hand out the paper with the near-perfect score of 105 first. Telepathically."1. He should have." The only thing that put a damper on the remainder of the year for me was the uneasy feeling that the Court Holder was continually staring at me out of the corner of his eye during laboratory sessions.Egad.34 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? was inconceivable that the secondhighest scorein a classof 300 students was 47 points lower than the top grade. and that he would then call the rest of the students in alphabeticalorder to come forward and get their results.and in each case. I've never even noticed him in here before. I could hear the Court Holder's groupies wondering.scaly character. well. we can't have it all. Though I looked straight ahead during the remainder of the day's session.

35 with you.Passing My Entrance Exam at Screw U. Armed with the Tortoise and Hare Theory and Organic Chemistry Theory. In summation. I was able to quickly identify them as Court Holders. it was that Hall-of-Fame Court Holder in organic chemistry who provided the ftrst step toward my understanding that the refusal to be intimidated was a crucial element in winning. Yes. I felt qualified and ready to enter that most revered of all institutions of higher learning. Don't allow yourself to be intimidated by someone else's knowledge-or apparentknowledge. to Further. your iob is to mind your business. Screw U. . that's his business. if someone feels the psychological need to hold court.What another personknows or doesn't know will not affect your successone way or another. so from your standpoint it's an irrelevancy. These theories gaveme the strength to withstand the negative barragesof intimidation directedat me by the DiscouragementFraternity. and the courageto forgeaheadinto the real estatebusiness. I've had the self-confidence ignore their intimidating ways and go for life's big payoffs without a shred of embarrassment.

e the more you make. makes. in its pure form.L. you might say that my rnaforwas Reality and my minor was Real Estate. is a rare excep- 36 .to come to grips with the realities of the Businessworld |ungle.through firsthand experience.r" cHAPr I Mv THnEn UUToRGETTABLE PnornssoRs ar ScnEw u. the more he . However. (Thereis actually a fourth type-the individual who stands to benefit directly as a result of your ffnancial success.. the most important reality I discovered during those early years was that there are basically only three types of people in the businessworld. refer to my ftrst three years in the real estatebusinessas my undergraduatedays at Screw U. Without question. the latter type. In curriculum terms. becauseit was during this time that I was forced.

but. so it neednot be addressed this book." And if you have a commission or fee owing to you-regardless of the business you're Ln-you are the enemy of both principals! If you don't believe it. Granted. Like it or not. that you're areal estateagent.but their deffnition of success may not have included having to pay you what you earned. this philosophy doesn't seem to include deal "pests" who are owed fees and/or commissions for their work. the buyer. In the real estate business.for the moment. save yourself a life of grief and become a California beach bum. (which is his chief criterion for success) ing the owner's property is but a meansto the end you seek. and that you represent the owner of a property. Regardless the type of businessyou're in.) Let's assume. " and. in theory. since the buyer is the one who comes up with the money that ultimately pays the real estate commission). he will beneftt to the extent he receives money from the buyer. the better it is for the seller (and.at My Three Unforgettable Professors Suew (J. It's nice to say that the owner will beneftt by your successin selling his property. . I supposeit's true. the empirical evidence suggeststhat the word everybody refers only to the buyer and seller. as discussedearlier. for example. it's a zero-sum game.theoretically. but he will not benefit by your successin collecting a real estate commission. This is why buyers and sellers understand all too well the Mideast proverb that "the enemy of my enemy is my friend. There's an old business adage that "the only way a deal works out is if everybody beneftts from the transaction. The painful reality is that the less the real estate agent makes. But in real life. the above examof ple should help you understand why certain people may have been less than fair with you in past dealings. successis a relative word. so collecting sellyour commission should be your main criterion for success. The emphasishere is on the majority of individuals who do not stand to beneftt from your success. 37 in tion. It may have been in their best interest to see you succeed.

the difference ends. Due to any one of a number of reasonsranging from his own bungling to his amoral standards for rutionalizing what's right and wrong-he.What you want is cash. even though someone may say that he wants to seeyou "get what's coming to you. often trying to throw you off guard by assuring you that he really wants to see you. no matter how someone positshimself. which states: There are only three types of people in the business world (with the one exception noted above). What I'm talking about here is the Three Type Theory. like TJtpe Number One-and without hesitation-he goesabout trying to grab your chips anyway." Then.vo. like Tlpes Number One and T\.not kudos. you would be wise to assume that he will. Type Number Two." that doesn't mean that you have to believe it. he sincerely means what he says. Type Number Three. Which Ineans that his supposed good intentions ate really irrelevant to the final outcome. Unlike TYpeNumber But that's where T. In summation. . in the final analysis. like TJrpeNumber Two. assures you that he's not intercsted in your chips. ot both-that he's out to get yout chips. Instead. who lets you know from the outseteither through his words. however. as follows: Type Number One.vo.38 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? It's nice to get patted on the back and told what a dandy job you did. attempt to grab your chips. hls actions. but that shouldn't be your definition of success. who.you would be wise to count on human nature guiding the other person's actions when the money's on the table. So. He then follows through by attempting to do iust that. who goes to geat lengths to assureyou that he would nevet dream of pilf ering yow chips. "get everything that's coming to you.still ends up trying to grab your chips.

taught me. however. and I am forever in their debt for sharing their wisdom with me. These noble gentlemen will forever serve as my stereotypes for the three kinds of creatureswho inhabit the Businessworld |ungle. Alas.humility forcesme to admit that I cannot alter human nature and. am merely passing one iota. . Like it or not-and most people don't-the Three Type Theory is simply arcality of Planet Earth.at My Three Unforgettable Professors Screw (J. I most deftnitely would. I am but a messenger. learned from them helped to prepare me for their ruthless relatives who were lying in wait for me in the fungle. They were highlevel frnancial proctologists who did a marvelous job of teaching The lessonsI me how to identify other members of their species. as such. 39 and in turn rely on your own survival instincts to guard against an attempt to heist your chips.I discuss (in the order in which they came into my life) three of my most exemplary professors during my undergraduate days at Screw U. along to you what my firsthand experienceat ScrewU. In the next three chapters. Let me emphasize that if I could recreate the world so the above realities did not exist.

BUT THE Rnsurr Is |usr rHE SelvrE As Ir HE WBnn Creo hat makes a Type Number Three so deadly is that he's neither menacing like a Type Number One nor diabolical like a Type Number TWo.cult for you to think of him in a negative light.but I had no chips is: choice when you rcached for your chips. the devil made him do it.he somehow always seemsto find himself in a position where he has "no choice" but to grab your chips. what a Type Number you from your Three is really saying to you when he separates "/ really didn't mean to cut off your fingers.CHePrE. due to some "unforeseen" reason(s). He sincerely wants you to get a fair shake. 5 TYpn NuNreEn TSREEIs STivcERELY Sonnv THan Hn Cneneno Youn CHTPS. In essence. On the contrary he has good intentions. The fact that he is genuinely sorry for having to hurt you makes it diffi. but." 40 . After all.

and would even pay my own expenses. The way I phrasedit was that I would like to "work on solving the financial problems (his) apartment development was experiencing. instead of inquiring about the possibility of listing his property for sale. the lower the potential reward." Slavelabor is always an appealingcarrot to dangle in front of penny-pinching real estate developers. which was still partly under construction. a salesbut would also have no limit on man would have no guarantees.so. my real estatecareerwas thus launched.TYpe Number Three Is Sincerely Sorry 4X My maiden contact with a Type Number Three came on my very first day at ScrewU. I finally offeredto work for him on a "prove it or else" basis. it undoubtedly would have been at the . as fate would have it. so I decidedto try a unique approach.I contactedone of the partners and." He told me that he couldn't afford to hire anyone. I told him that I would work without a guaranteed salary. even if he I could. I quickly assured him that I could make up in energy. In a perfect world. On the strength of this shaky and vague verbal understanding.enthusiasm. Yet. Being the relentless tortoise I was. he wouldn't hire me. I knew virtually nothing about real estate. the greater the rrsk. because had no previous real estate experience. at what he could earn. had agreedto put me on his payroll. asked him for a job. the first deal I worked on-a $5 million apartment development in Cincinnati-was quite large for a newcomer to the business. were in serious financial trouble. and. I had heardrumors that the owners of the Cincinnati project. let alone the warped psychesof buyers and sellers. basedon my everything-to-gain-and-nothing-to-lose he ftnally relentedand allowed me to work on the project. What I was counting on was the Law of Risk and Reward: The less the risk. proposition. the higher the potential reward. but if I solved the ftnancial problems of his apartment development/ I wanted to be "paid handsomely in return. and persistencewhat I lacked in knowledge and experiertcetbut he continued to resist.If my first professor Screw U.

Victor lived in Cincinnati. and was on the building site every day overseeingconstruction. most builders are masters at using mirrors. An important talent in this regard is the at of ducking subcontractors who have the audacity to demand payment for their services.(In most cases. in retrospect-considering how valuable my experience with my professorturned out to be-I would have to say that.nanceout.12. Down the road.. and it was clear from the outset that he and the working partner ("Victor Vermin") were not on good terms (parfor the coursewhen financial problemsset in).I probably should have paid him for all the knowledgeI acquired during the time I worked on his project. to fi. I would havemissedout on the opportunity not only to gain a great deal of knowledge about how the Businessworld|ungle works. The Cincinnati deal allowed me to learn early on that most problems real estate developersexperience of the cash-shortage area result of their undertaking projectswithout having much. In fact. To accomplishthis. then ultimately paying off accrued construction debts through a pipe dream known as cash the illusion of a positive cash flow is based flow. on unrealistically low operating expenses and replacementcosts. After a couple of weeks. since I figured he . on a value-for-valuebasis.As a result. to not put any of his own money into a project.e.{ ^) To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? legal minimum wage. and all too often payment is in the form of a currency known as bankruptcy. so to speak. Nirvana for a real estate developer is to fi. of course. if any. of their own cash invested in them.nda way to "fi. .l My Type Number Three professor was pretty much of a silent partner in the Cincinnati project." i.nessetheir way from one project to another. I decided it was time to go to Cincinnati and speak directly with Victor. but to earn some seriousmoney right out of the starting gate. the Delusion Fiddler must be paid. My Type Number Three professor's main contribution to the deal was that he had done the initial spadework in the planning and ftnancing stages.

Meekly.at this early stageof my undergraduate it's not difftcult to recall why. I showed up at 8:45 a. and read old issues of Builder's Indigestion 20 or 30 times. Not only did Victor not acknowledgemy presenceall morning.But. studiesat ScrewU. and barely looking back over his shoulder. and. and had no idea how to go about finding other deals.. I didn't know when Victor might return to his office. so I would just sit in his reception room and dutifully suck my thurnb.m. play with my yo-yo. so tired that I almost didn't look up in time to see him before he reached his offtce door. then sat in his waiting room for as long as eighthours. just to be on the safe side.TYpeNumber Three Is Sincerely Sorry 43 would have a more up-to-datereading of the situation.I set up appointments with Victor.M. I was a very hungry. I didn't want to take any chanceson missing him when he returned. Beingthe inexperiencedtwit that I was. he mumbled something that soundedlike. In addition. every deal was life or death. I did not understand that Victor was a master intimidator. after waiting all morning. to be sure. on his way to lunch. I had a firm appointment with Victor at 9:00 A. I was penniless (the world's most foolproof humbler). very tired tortoise." Why would I endure such humiliating treatment? Stupidity. I called out to him and askedwhen he would be ready to meet with me.. On several occasions. So much so that I felt I couldn't even take a chance on going out and grabbing a sandwich for lunch. This time I . "Back in a little while. When Victor finally showed up two hours later. traveled all the way to Cincinnati. Without breaking stride. One day in particular standsout in my mind. it was the first real estate deal I had ever worked on. had no other dealsin the hopper. and. without even a nod. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my Businessworld|ungle b^ptism. So. After all. but around noon he bolted out of his office with two other men and hurried right past me. from my perspective. in fairnessto reptiles throughout the world.

ru .

I "solved the financial problems in Cincinnati. Fortunately. after thinking about it for a few minutes. I ftnally got to talk with him only because. and this time he totally ignored me. I then met with my professor and explained the situation. whereupon I told him that I would discuss his offer with my professor. and. and if that price was acceptable to my professor." This is about as vague as an understanding can get-even in the fungle.e. The most important of these conditions was that he was required to buy out my Type Number Three professor/sinterest in the development. much more defeated voice. neither of them would need me to make a . bornly sat in Victor's reception room until 5:00 p. however.Victor) had just quoted me. we had not even specified exactly what it was that I was supposed accomplishin order to be entitled to to my unspecifted fee.m. Unbeknownst to me at the time. Closing a deal of one kind or another was beginning to look like a real possibility. AII we had was a fuzzy understanding that I was supposedto be "paid handsomely" tf.I reasonedthat if I told him that Victor Vermin was preparedto pay the price that he (i.Wpe Number Three Is Sincercly Sorry 45 called out in a much weaker. I finally learned that Victor had talked a mortgage banker into increasing the construction loan on his proiect and immediately advancing some additional funds.in desperation. the thought of giving up entered my mind. and it was becoming obvious to me that I neededto get more speciffc with my professor. he came up with a price. but packagedit a bit differently. the tortoise within me persisted. In fact. provided certain conditions were met. The reasonI did this was because not only was my agreement with my professor not in writing even our verbal understanding did not spell out the precise amount of my fee. and I stub.. I asked Victor how much he was willing to pay his partner.I literally lunged in his path as he was leaving his office for the day. what I was experiencing were the horrors a tortoise encounters when dealing from an inferior posture. After a series of punishing experiences like this. As his office door slammed shut.

As I suspectedwould be the case. Why? Becausehuman nature never changes..Basedon what he had told me about the extent of his financial problems. I therefore told my professor only that I had been "kicking around some ideaswith Victor.e. Never forget: Human beings are genetically programmedto always want more. because was concernedthat the price Victor had quoted me was so low that it might only succeed in angeringmy professor. and Greece.) Even though I had only recently would enrolled at ScrewU. could hope to do. persistent and persuasivetortoise remarks later.. there was a chanceI might be able to get him to buy my professor'sshare of the proiect at a price that would get him (i. That being the case. it would be better for him if I could "talk Victor into" buying him out at a price roughly . my professor) the hook for most of the debts he had inoff curred in connection with the Cincinnati deal. I was pretty certain that the suggestedbuy-out price would not completely bail him out of his ftnancial difftculties. I instinctively knew that my pro{essor want to negotiatethe price upward no matter what the initial figure was that I quoted him. I went a step further."Duhhh!"1 At a minimum/ once my professorknew what Victor's offer was." (This simple strategy works iust as well today as it did for merchants and traders in ancient China. Only a fool-or an intelligent but naive person-gives his best offer right off the bat. in the long run. the best I It was the age-oldgame of "I go low. he would be in a position to dictate to me what my reward should be. Mesopot amia. However. you go high. So I quoted him an even lower price than emphasizingthat this was probably the one Victor had suggested.my obiectivewas to negotiate up to Victor's offering price rather than have to negotiate upward from that price. my professor's initial was absolutely unacreaction was that the price I had suggested after several days of discussions and many ceptable. I was able to get my professorto see that. (In tortoise language. though I thought it would be a hard sell.46 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? deal. I Then." and. then we compromise in the middle.

I further convinced -y professor that the project was destined to get into ever more financial trouble (which turned.500lowerthan victor's ofto fering price) by "fi.out to be a correct assessment my part).or else be preparedto be overwhelmed by a nasty little human trait called greed.so I could . After all. in fact.'.In retrospect. I then casually told my professorthat I would try very hard to increasethe price that he had tentatively agreed (i. right? Not exactly.lYpe Number Three Is Sincerely Sorry 4V equal to the one that (unbeknownst to my professor)Victor had already said he would be willing to pay...consideringall thesefactors. too.. It was. I should point out that in order to arrive at the price I quoted my professor. and that he would be much on better off to bail out now get off the hook for any personal liability he had incurred.never bet againstgreed! . who seem genuinely sincereabout wanting to seeyou get paid. anything I got "over and above. the more money my pro{essor would pocket.get a little something out of the deal. The $6. regardlessof the kind of businessyou're in. a simple matter of "psychological packaging. and still manageto come up with enough cashto pay off at least some of his other debts.500 cushion represented the fee r arbitrarily decidedwould be a reasonablepayment for my services for "solving the financial problems in cincinnati.r subtracted $6.The reality was that the less I received as a fee.veor ten thousand dollars.."All I did was createthe r//usron that whatever fee I received would be over and above what my professor was willing to accept. Feigning an afterthought.e.I probably did him a greaterservice than any other buyer or sellerfor whom I subsequentlyworked.500 from the price victor had told me he would be willing to pay. Anyone who aspires to success any field of endeavorwould do well to become in adept at psychologicalpackaging. Good intentions aside.the amount that was $6.. This is especially true when dealingwith supposedly"good guys. what he was supposedto receivewas of no interest to him. The reality was that it was purely academic.as is always the casewith fees and commissions." My professornodded his head indifferently.

Didn't I rcahzethat Victor would simply to? lower his offer to match the figure my professorhad agreed Of course I realized it! The answer is that I didn't show him the document.48 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? I now sensedthat it was time to move in for the kill. Once my professorhad signedon the dotted line. It was on-the-job training in psychology and phraseology.reprobably wondering why I was dumb enoughto show Victor a document that stated that my professorwould take /ess than Victor had offered. but to have something in writing regarding my fee.persuade"Victor to acceptmy professor'S off..500lowet than the amount Victor had already agreedto pay). Show Victor Vermin the agreement that spelled out my commission?Are you kidding? Victor ate little kids for breakfast and didn't bother to spit out the bones.then put the total figure into the document as the price he had agreedto acceptfrom Victor. I assuredhim that the only reasonfor wanting something in writing was to "have something in my hand" when I (which.avaricious/ mean-spiritedreal estatedeveloper to took great delight in nickel and diming his adversaries deathwhom he owed money was an adversary. Charles Manson was his idol. Victor who was a classic. " tried to .er" I again emphasize. When you deal with sick minds. You. never waste time trying to become a healer.The most humane act you can perform for such a person is to state things in such a way that it will make him feel better about how things work out-esp ecially if it involves your getting paid. I casually told him that I would probably use $6.was $6. .500as a "working numbe{'for my fee. I meekly asked my professorif he would mind signing "a simple little was agreedocument" saying that the net ptice we had discussed able to him. He rooted for the Atlantic Ocean tn Titanic. tack it on to the ftgure he and I had discussed. and anyone to My real purpose for having my professorsign the "letter of understanding" was not iust to "have something in my hand" when I went to Cincinnati. You can cause him great stressif you allow him to believe that he might actually be paying you what he owesyou.

the original price he had discussed with me (again. and that I could not guaranteethat he wouldn't changehis mind if we didn't proceedpromptly.ngersin the process. becauseagain and again I was to find that " afterthought" was a pretty accurate description of how most sellersview a real estate agent'scommission.As far as victor knew. In later years/ | reabzedthat my instincts/ even at that early stageof my undergraduate days at screw u.I alsohad to "over be certain that victor didn't get any cute ideasabout being able to save$6. (Never state/ in an agreement. of course.500by merely changinghis original buy-out price to one that was equal to the net figure that my professorhad agreedto accept.it's a fairy tale that will only causeyou to drop your guard and lose someff.what you want out of the deal before stating what the other party is going to get. All he's interested in is what's in it for him. |ust as I had packagedmy presentationof the deal in such a way that my professor would think of my fee as and above" what he was getting out of the deal.TVpe Number Three Is Sincerely Sorry 49 To make it appearalmost as an afterthought.500 fee near the bottom of the document. This got his attention. Feeling that it might be his only opportunity to get his partner out of the deal at a price he consideredto be a bargain. but that I had ffnally succeeded. I purposelyput the sentenceabout my $6. becausethe other guy doesn't give a hoot about what you want. had been very good..) Subsequentto my professor's signing the document/ I again went back to victor and emphasized what a hard sell it had been for me to get his partner to agreeto his buy-out figure. I told victor that my professorwas very uneasy about the deal.victor did everything he could to help bring about a quick closing.500 fee)was the one that my professorwas willing to accept." Forget such babble. emphasizing how difftcult it had been for me to get Victor to . This is especially true of people who insist that "in order for a deal to work out/ everyonehas to be satisfied.with my professor played it 180 degrees I opposite.an amount equal to the price my professorhad agreedto plus my $6.

he was very nice about it and nevercameright out and saidthat he did not inand the tend to pay my fee. the more he mumbled-and cernedI became.My professor "sharpenedhis pencil" (his words) and continued to find one cost after another that he either had not previously consideredor hadn't known about. I thought if I showed up at the closing with an attorney.How convenient. Being a Type Number Three.As we progressedtoward a closing. Virtually everyonewho had ever dealt with him felt that he was a nice guy and a basically honest person. the seller. my concern became so great that I dared to ask myself a question that only an inexperiencedreptile like myself would dare to ask: "If the buyer and sellerin a real estatedeal are by represented attorneysat a closing. why shouldn't the real esby tate agent also be represented an attorney?" Sort of like the first ape-in the Planet of the Apes movie-to have the audacity to say/"No! " to a human being'scommand. I emphasizedthat I didn't know how long I could keep Victor committed to the deal. the rrore conmore ftguring he did.becauseall three parties involved-the buyer.) My professorwas a classic Type Number Three. and the real estateagentwere working hard to accomplishthe sameobfective.5O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? agreeto . tool my Nonetheless. this was as good as it gets. my to myself that professorwould take it as an insult to his integrity and probably .He iust mumbled a lot of negatives.'his" figure (the one that included my $6. but that he had experienced a string of bad luck that had causedhim to "unintentionally" damagealot of people along the waY.|ust as I had done with Victor.(In later years. After all.this kind of talk got so old that I had to restrainmyself from yawning.everytime the question crossed mind. I observed a phenomenon that I was later to discoveroccursprior to most real estateclosings. didn't I have a vested interest in the deal. the more my professor sharpenedhis pencil. As closings go.500fee). In fact. The closer we got to the closing. and urged him to do everything possibleto help get it closed.

I wondered how he could talk in terms of not being able to .t even his money he was talking about. after adding up all the figures.felt terrible about it." Sure.I might add). He said he felt terrible about it. "I'm sticking it to you now. "Forget the niceties.prof." Luckily for me. I didn't say anything menacing to my professor.. because I didn't want to put him on guard. no problem. I thought to myself that whether or not my professor. Instead.Type Number Three Is Sincerely Sorry 5n use it as an excusenot to pay me anything at all. But I was so pushed to the wall that I could not wait even one more day. prof. or even a few weeks. but. . I found his remark to be quite fascinating. Sure. he was telling me. given that I was still at a very easy-tointimidate stageof my development." I thought to myself.there was just no way he could spareeven $100 out of the proceeds the closof ing.. let alone weeks or months. they weren't his to spare!In addition. Finally. He saidhe was working on a number of deals (all pie-in-the-sky. In other words.spare.. let alone $6. If I had been in a ffnancial position to wait a few months.. Those were my chips he was referring to. In a sense/my own thoughts were intimidating me. in response to the . I probably would have backed off.and that some were certain to close soon. at which time he would have plenty of cash with which to pay me.500. was irrelevant. I talked to my professorjust a couple hours before the closing was scheduledto take place. when it wasn.and in typical Type Number Three fashion he expressed sincereconcern for my position.. the big day arrived-my first real estare closing." I ftgured the next thing he would do is pull out a picture of EbbetsField and say. I have a nice property in New York that you might be interested rn selling."By the way.and just fork over my chips. but trust me not to do it to you down the road. I was stone broke." My professorthen assuredme that in the "not too distant future" he would "see to it" that I would get //everydime that was coming to (me).

iust take a hike. . Whereupon my attorney sat down with the other two lawyers. but don't mess with the good fellas in the club. Sure. no problem" nod that I later realizedwas used in the |ungle as a euphemism for "Yeh. right? I P. and how the attorneys for both sidesleft the courtroom arm-in-arm while discussing their upcoming Sunday golf game.The attorney and I then went over to my professor'soffice and found that all the parties involved were in the process of preparingfor the closing. got my $6.S." He gaveme a "Sute. anything you say. describedthe conversation I had just had with him. attibut I suckedit up inside and tried to convey a matter-of-fact just kept asking myself. I just mumbled that I would seehim at the closing and that "perhaps there might be a way to work something out. the unwritten rule among lawyers is: You can rape and pillage civilians." I then made a bold decision. what I had going for me at that closing was the unwritten." In street parlance. and explainedthat the closing was about to take place. sure. Although I didn't understand the principle at the time. I also be representedby an attorney at a closing?" Aftet all. "Why shouldn't a real estateagent tude.Doesn't it warm the cocklesof your heart to see the guy to whom you're paying $200 an hour shmoozing with the attorney who is trying to destroyyou? with the closing. universally accepted understanding among all attorneys that I subsequently dubbed the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney Respect Rule. It's kind of analogousto "honor among thieves.52 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? "concern" he expressedabout me. I chatted with While the lawyers proceeded Vermin about the weather/ extraterresmy professorand victor trial life. and the merits of Metamucil. The simplest way to illustrate this law is to remind you of the last time you were a patty to a lawsuit. I was too inexperiencedto know any better.500 fee-at the closing.I scurried over to the office of an attorney friend of mine. and the three of them went through the mechanicsof ftnaiizing the deal. it was embarrassing. showedhim the document my professor had signed.

"Did you guys happen to read the National Enquirer article about extraterrestrials preferfing Metamucil in the travel-packet size!" .

and most important from the standpoint of the theme of this book. but it was the deal that they were both willing to accept at that time and under the circumstancesthat then existed. is that the events at the closing proved that I had more than ample reason to be cautious about how I handled the negotiations. When it got down to the short strokes. in my professor'sbest interest.I also was convinced that I would never be able to work out a deai if I presentedmy professorwith victor vermin's real offering price. everything I did was.as it turned out. not only did I not have a written agreementwith my professor. my Type Number Three professor'sactions left no doubt in my mind that I would have walked away from the closing with nubs for fingers had I not taken precautions to protect my own interests as well as his. if "successful" lwhich also was not defined). Third. and my ftduciary responsibility was to myself.54 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Finally. Second. .I did him a greatserviceby helping him to avert what would have been a ffnancial catastrophe for him later on. It may not have been the deal that either of them wanted. I was supposedto be "paid handsomely in return. All I had done was volunteer to try to "solve the financial problems in Cincinnati. in case you're wondering. The bottom line is that both partners ended up being satisfied with the result. there was no agreement/written or verbal. didn't even have a clearverbal agreement. that morally obliged me to present my professor with offers to buy out his interest in the property. the proof being the fact that they agreedin writing to the final terms of the deal." and. As I mentioned earlier. I should point out that I have never doubted the propriety of my creative handling of this transaction.Our underI standingwas vague/at best. and my analysis turned out to be acctrate." In other words. By being a little creative. I was strictly on my own. in fact. aftet analyzing the figures I became convinced that the project was headedfor even more ftnancial difficulties.becauseI had thought it out carefully in advanceand felt that my actions were iustified on at least three counts: First.

never allow yourself to of be intimidated into believing that you aren't entitled to the same rights as the so-called principals in a deal.Tlpe Number Three Is Sincerely Sorry f( How fortunate I had been.)ust don't expect the other principals to share your viewpoint. I had learnedfirsthand about the deadliness of Type Number Threes without having to experiencethe sick feeling that comes from having one's chips pilfered at the eieventh hour. . it's very possible that I might not have been able to continue in the real estate business due to my precarious financial situation. yorLarc a principal. because/ from your standpoint. If you have a vestedinterest in a deal. Forewarnedis forearmed. received a bonus in this deal in that I got an answer to my naive question. I In addition to learning how a Type Number Three operates. "Why shouldn't a real estate agent also be represented by an attorney at a closing?" Firsthand experiencehad emphatically given me the answer: "He should!" Regardless the businessyou're in. Had my Cincinnati deal not ended on a happy note. you have a right to protect that interest. regardless the size of your stake relative to the other players' of shares. I say so-called.

iust as I told you I would. Becausehe wears a black hat.Crreprr" 6 TYpENurvrsEnONr IsN'r Sonnv Tner Hr. GnaBBED Youn CHrns. What a Type Number One is saying to you when he squeezes the last dollar from your deal is: "I rcaLly meant to cut off your fingers. a Type Number One is quite easyto spot. I was already familiar with Type Number Ones prior to my entering Screw U. and before you rcached for your chips you should have remembercd my warning. it might be fair to argue that a Type Number One is the most honest of the three types of people in the Busi56 . he lays his cards on the table from the outset. He doesn't hide the fact that he's out to grab as many chips as possible. he doesn't try to be clever. BBcnusEHn WenNro You AHnao on Trrvrr How HE Prevs rHE Gervrn lthough I wasn't aware of it." In this respect.and that anyone who attempts to grab any chips for himself is viewed as an adversary.In other words.

When it came to class. it's likely that you either refusedto acknowledgethe reality of with whom you were dealing or you simply weren't prepared. On the other hand. Yet. so it was the pure fun-the thrill of crushing desperatereal estatedevelopers-that attracted him. I concluded that there was a big demand among real estate developersfor secondaryfinancing.Tlpe Number One Isn't Sorry 5-l nessworld fungle. he was to the manner born.and he proved to be an excellent teacher. yet he would not hesitate to cut out your heart if you failed to live up to your side of an agreement. the solution is simple: You have the option of not becoming involved with him. if you do decideto become involved in a businesstransaction with a Type Number One. After attending Screw U.At his age and financial station in life. If you end up getting a severemanicure. My Type Number One professorwas an elderly gentleman who had accumulated considerablewealth through his vast knowledgeof the real estatebusiness. there should be no doubt in your mind (unlessyour brain is on a life-support system) about his intentions. I thought the word crook was a pretty good description of a Type Numl'rer One. knows a Type Number One on sight. Anyone who has spent more than a day at Screw U.. coming in contact in with my Type Number One professorhappenedon a lark. for several months. I happenedto run acrossmy professor's name while looking . You only deludeyourself if you try to claim that you were drawn into a transaction under the guise that you thought you would be dealing with someonewho would be generouswith you. prior to my experiencesat Screw U. It wasn't until I becamemore educatedthat I was al'rleto see that if a Type Number One's menacing gesturesgive you reasonfor concern. Since most builders were desperatefor money to keep their paper empires from collapsing. it seemed to me that this was an areaof the real estate businessin which it would be easy to find and sign up deals. he didn't need any more chips. Like so many positive experiences life.

my professorcould care less. The owner protested. close of off all avenues escape.He specializedin making large secondmortgage loans on income-producing properties such as apartment developments. Whenever my inclination was to give a prospectiveborrower the benefft of the doubt. he shook his head discouragingly and said that he would need more collateral in order to make the loan.58 To Be ot Not to Be Intimidated? through a directory of capital sources in an effort to locate second-mortgage lenders. because there was no one deal that was that important to him. My professor courteouslv thanked the builder for his time.and o{ffce buildings. After my professorinspected the prospective borrower's properties." through my Type Number One professor that I first It was learned about one of the most important weapons that all wealthy peoplehave at their disposal: stayingpower.000 second-mortgageloan application from a desperatebuilder who was willing to put up nine small apartment properties as collateral. his position was that there was no such thing as benefit of the doubt in businessdealings. If you're on the anxious end of this kind of equation. he could not be intimidated. bind his feet.shopping centers. then "negotiate. and when I relayed that fact to the prospectiveborrower. The first deal he and I worked on together clearly demonstrated his hard-ball approach.His idea of an everyone-winsdealwas to tie the other guy's hands behind his back. then said .I marveled at how he was prepared to walk away from any deal. The situation was ideal for my professor:The prospective borrower was anxious.you have two strikes against you beforenegotiations even begin. insisting that the nine properties he was prepared to put up as security constituted more than sufficient collateral. My professorexpressedan immediate interest in the loan. My professorturned out to be a stern taskmaster who often tongue-lashedme for being too trusting. I had brought hirn a $150. he became very anxious to have him come to town and inspect his properties. As a result.

for The prospectiveborrower. looked like he quickly backed off and agreedto was going to have apoplexy. desperate cash. fust as it beganto appearthat all the details for a closing had been worked out. particularly since it appeared the nine apartment properties alone were more than sufficient collateral for the second mortgage. a first mortgage on a lO-acreparcel of land that he said was in the processof being rezoned for industrial usage. My professor's greatest moves were yet to come.and rest . which prompted my professorto once again thank him for his time and indicate that it-the borhe had better things to work on. he could require the borrower to pay off an additional $20. and with the borrower looking l0 years older than when the negotiations had begun.But/ as it turned out. I had only witnessed the tip of the iceberg. It was an eye-openingexperienceto witness a professional intimidator in action. my professor-"a|ter re' viewing the figures very carefully"-said there was no way that he could make a $150. as we got nearer the closing. This struck that me as a rather harsh condition. My professornot only acceptedthe land as additional collateral.000was the biggestloan he was willing to make. He adamantly refusedto the lower loan figure. but.He told the borrower that due to this lack of collateral.000on the principal of the loan.000 loan basedon the collateral they had been discussing. insisted on inserting a clause in the loan agreementstipulating that if the land was not rezoned within l2 months.000-meaning that the borrower had to put up more collateral for less money! By this time the borrower was beyond desperate. Result?You guessed rower limped back to the "negotiating table.He give my professor. At that point. $100.as additional collateral. the borrower became outwardly hostile." They finally "compromised" at $105. under the circumstances.\peNumber One Isn't Sorry q0 that.he would be leaving for the airport right away to try to catch an earlier flight back to New York.

5O

To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?

assuredthat his desperationdid not go unnoticed by my professor. Beforehe was ffnished, my prof took advantage his intimiof posture to land two final blows. dating First, he required that the borrower deposit with him, each month, one-twelfth of the annual real estatetaxes on each of the properties. This meant that the professorwould have the use of the borrower's tax money until the real estatetaxeswere actually due, which in turn deprived the borrower of the use of his own funds. The second and final blow, however, was the coup de grace.When my Type Number One professorexamined the "rent rolls" for eachof the properties,he noticed that one of the buildings, the construction of which had just been completed,still had a considerable number of vacancies. insistedthat $20,000of He the $105,000loan be retained by him until that property reached an occupancy rate of approximately 80 percent. The same protests on the part of the borrower; the samethreats of departureon the part of my professor;the same result: The borrower endedup agreeingto all of the professor'sconditions. Looking back on this deal, I now realizethat it was actually just a matter of at what point the lender was willing to display mercy. He had the cash; the borrower was desperate.He had the staying power; the borrower was running out of time. He was intimidating; the borrower was intimidated. It was my Type Number One professor's favorite-and only-kind of deal: totally one-sided. Again, in retrospect,I had the good fortune of earning while learning. I received a nominal loan-brokeragefee for my work, while having the honor to observe, at close range/ how a highlevel Tlrpe Number One plays the game. It was painful to witnesssort of like watching a lion devour a gazelle on one of those animal shows on TV-but very educational. As the professorand I walked out of the building where the closing had taken place,I told him that the borrower seemedlike a nice guy and that I hoped he would be able to abide by all the

TYPeNumberOnelsn't Sotrr

6l

conditions of the loan agreement' To which my professor displayed his best Godfatherlike smile and replied, "That's not possible." Puzzled,I asked him what he meant by that, whereupon he said, "If you take the trouble to read the agreementcarefully, you'll see that he was technically in default the moment he signedit." Now that's what you call a practical courseat ScrewU! In the months following the closing, the old man began to take a personal liking to me. I think he was impressed by my persistence and attention to detail, and, because of his own nature, my straightforward manner' I was neat and no-nonsense accuratein my presentations,and if additional information was rieededto decide whether or not to proceed further with a deal, I obtained it immediately, even if it meant traveling a great distance at my own expenseto securethe necessarydetails' Fortunately for me, I had been well aware of the importance of being willing to go the extra mile from having observed my father's attitude toward work from the time I was a small child. Early on it appearedto me that my professor reabzedthat it was in his best interest to seeme make money. He obviously reasonedthat the more money I made,the more I would be encouragedto work hard to bring him the best dealsI could find. So even though he was an orthodox Type Number One, he also qualified as one of those rare exceptionsI spoke about earlier; i.e., with regard to his relationship with me, my getting paid actually benefited hirl in the long run. Further, becauseit was aiso in my best interest to see him make money, I went out of my way to protect my professor in every deal. To many of our clients, I became cynically known as his watchdog. If there was one thing I recognized even then, it was on which side my breadwas buttered. The old man and I had a wonderful relationship, becauseit was basedon the most honest foundation that any businessrelationship can have: value for value. As harsh as he was with me at times' I not only acquired a

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To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?

great deal of knowledge from my Type Number One professor,I actually grew fond of him. (I think it might have been his razorsharp teeth that held me in awe.) Regardlessof his take-noprisoners philosophy, I respectedhim for his candor.I would hate to think how much longer it might have taken me to learn many crucial realities of the Businessworld|ungle had I not had the opportunity to work closely with this Type Number One professor for two solid years.He died a short time after I went on to graduate school, but, wherever he is today, I'd be surprised i{ he isn't still threatening to go to the airport and closing one-sideddeals.

CHaptn "7

TYpBNumnEn TWo IsN't Sonnv Youn CHrns, Tnan HE GnaBBED BnceusE-IN Sprru or Hrs AssuneNcEsTo rHE CoNrneRYTHnr Was Hts INTENTToN FRoMrrrn OursET

iven that a Type Number One is easy to spot, there's no excuse for not learning how to defend yourself against him. And a Type Number Three, becauseof his sincerity and easygoingmanner, can usually be made to behave by simply confronting him with the proper legal tools. But being trapped in a cagewith a Type Number Two is not a good idea even for an experienced,educated|ungle inhabitant. Until you learn the art of dealing with Type Number Twos, your progressin the Businessworld fungle will be painstakingly slow-and unpleasant. When a Type Number TWo performs chip-replacement surgery on your wallet, all he is sayingto you is I meant from the outset to cut off your fingerc when you reached for your chips, even though I had assuredyou that that was not my intention.

63

64

To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?

A Type Number Two is treacherous,not only becausehe is hard to recognize,but becausehe's a rneat eater-in {act, the most vicious of all carnivores. To put it in perspective,think of it this way: A Type Number Two is to the Businessworld|ungle as Tyrannosaurus Rex is to furassic Park. Becausehe's cunning, a Type Number Two can sometimes be mistaken for either a Type Number One or Type Number Three.Deviousness his stock in is trade. It was not until I had completedAnti-Deceit Measures401 with my Type Number TWo professor that I was prepared to graduate from Screw U. Not that I had never encountereda Type Number TWobefore.It's just that in the pastI had failed to recognize members of this cannibal sect for what they really were, let alone study their sinister methods. Like his fellow faculty members, Types Number One and Three, my Type Number Two professorat Screw U. was not only a perfect model of his species,but a greatteacheras well. He was co-owner of an apartment-developmentcompany that had built a significant number of large apartment projects in the Midwest and on the EastCoast.My initial contactwith him came aboutas a result of making cold calls in an effort to solicit new secondmortgagedeals.He expressed immediate interest in meeting an with me, and I made an appointment to come visit him. When I went to his office for our first face-to-face discussion, I was impressed to the point of being in awe. My Type Number TWo professorspent an inordinate amount of time expoundingon the virtues of dealing only with people who possessed buckets of integrity and the highest ethical standards-like himself, for example-an almost sure sign that the personwith whom you are speaking is a rapist, murderer, or/ worst of all, an unethical real estate developer.To boot, he casually tossedaround the namesof a sampling of competitors as examples o{ people whom he consideredto be of questionable repute. Talk about holier than thou, my new mentor was in a class by himself. And talk about gullible, The Tortoise ate up every

TYpe Number TWo Isn't Sorry

65

word. I hadn't been so enamored since the ftrst time I had laid eyeson my beloved Court Holder in organic chemistry lab years earlier. I once againfound myself coniuring up fantasiesof an autographed picture hanging over my hearth. I sat there listening to his fecal chatter as though I had just undergone a discount lobotomy, nodding my head up and down on cue to show that I was in total agreementwith such clich€s as, "Life is too short to deal with unethical people." I oohed and aahed as he namedropped big institutions that had ftnanced some of his proiects or supposedly wanted to lend him money for future developments. He was wearing a white hat so tall that it nearly touched the ceiling, and his Saddam-likegrin had the aura of a neon sign flashingthe words, "Trust me." When we finally got down to talking business,he said that his company "could possiblyuse a couple million dollars to take advantageof some other opportunities." (Unbeknownstto me at the ftnancial code for: "I'm in desperate time, this was wheeler-dealer straits,and needa quick cashiniection to avoid bankruptcy.") My Type Number TWo professormentioned that he owned a large apartment development in St. Louis, and that he might be interested in selling it outright rather than obtaining a second mortgage.He indicated, however, that it would take a purchase price in the areaof $10 million for him to seriouslyconsiderselling. Here, too, I was too much of a neophyte to understand that no matter how convincing a prospective seller may appear to be about not being interested in selling his property for iess than a certain price, he is almost always either lying or will eventually cave in and lower his price when a serious buyer enters the picture. Nothing changesa seller's view of the world quicker than a checkbookbeingwavedin his face. As my Type Number Two professorcontinued to pontificate, I did some rough ffguring and concluded that if I was successfulin selling his property, I could earn a commission in qhe arca of based upon the Board of Realtors' suggested $200,000-$300,000 commission scale. Such thinking only served again to demon-

@,

fft

"Listen up, greenhotn, it's impofiant to deal only with people of integrity-like me, for exarnple."

however. Now. I simply wasn't sophisticated enough to understand that sellers could care less what a Board of Realtors thinks their members' commissions should be. and I was the intimidatee. my Type Number TWo professorwas the intimidator. I never thought I could become so infatuated again. In the privacy of my mind.I gave him a long list of items I thought I would need in order to put together a proper presentation. and that in his case I was not concernedabout having something in writing. you don't need anything in writing? Clearly. I chastisedmyself for being so disrespectful. I was so intimidated by his arrogant/ self-righteousattitude that I was very meek in requesting a written understandingregardingmy commission. he interrupted me and commenced another sanctimonious lecture.I returned to my office and beganlaying out a game plan to market my ffrst major deal. Nonetheless.Tlpe Number TWo Isn't Sorry 67 strate how much of a greenhornI was at the time. A{ter my Court Holder experiencein organic chemistry classyears earlier. Didn't I realize that when you deal with a man of such unparalleledintegrity.for having the gall to ask this towering model of morality for a written document. Fluttering my eyelashesin blissful ignorance.I was excited about my first opportunity to get commission.Young love is . all I neededwas a little something in writing from him and I would be all set. He so dynamically emphasizedhis unparalleled reputation {or honesty and integrity that I actually felt ashamed that I had dared to ask for a signed agreement. Sadly.I told my Type Numa shot at earninga jumbo-size ber TWo professorthat I was conftdent I could find a buyer for his St. Backing off gracefully. As I verbally stumbled around like the world-class reptilian wimp that I was. Louis apartment development if he would furnish me with the necessary data. and he agreedto have his staff compile the information and get it to me within a week or so. I assuredhim that my asking for an agreement was only a formality.

In classicType Number TWo fashion. I sent letters to a number of the biggest real estate buyers in the country briefly describing the St. especially when you spend most of your life hiding inside a shell. Louis to personally inspect his property. (The first. and I was determined to do such a first-class iob in all aspectsof this deal that the seller would actually feel good about paying my commission. I made arrangementsto fly to St. was that I had ailowed the seller to intimidate me into believing that I had no need for a signedcommission agreement. the inevitable: My professorbeganto smell the aroma of money. I then made my secondcritical mistake. He said that a mutual acquaintancehad introduced him to the buyer. I relayed offers and counter-offersbetween him and the seller by telephone. (Yes.o6 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? beautiful to behold. Louis apartment development. One company.I am blushing a bright shadeof greenas I write thisl. I followed up with a phone call to eachprospect. which resulted in an exchangeof numerous phone calls and letters between us. in particularr indicated a serious interest in the deal. the seller proceeded to tell me that he felt no obligation to me regarding a sale of his . and reared his chip-snatching Type Number TWo head. worked for the buyer with whom I had been negotiating. however. Finally. To those who answered in the affi. I did not mention the buyer's name to the seller. I sent a detailed presentation. During this period. Then.I Insteadof registeringthe prospective buyer by certifted mail. and that the buyer had informed him that he had been negotiating through me for the purchaseof his St.There was big money involved.rmative. After I received all the facts and figures from my Type Number TWo professor'soffice. by coincidence. Louis property and inquiring as to whether they might have an interest in an apartment development of this size. of course. He told me that he had just returned from New York where he had met with someone who. after about two weeks. As quickly as possible.

the nastier the my professor became. Oatmeal brain that I was. the seller and his in-house criminal (er.500 I had earned in the Cincinnati deal-and called my attorney into the fray. self-righteousverbiage and warned me. This time. Louis property to my buyer. I was stunned. I was dealing with a hard-core Type Number T!vo. and here I thought that's what a real estate agent was supposedto do. notwithstanding the fact that it was I who had submitted the property to him. With a straight face. that I had better not reach for my chips. demoralized. so I fell back on my ace in the hole that had landed me my ffrst real estate commission-the $6. Although it was clear that I had been responsiblenot only for calling the buyer's attention to the propertt but for motivating his interest in it. That quickly brought the matter to a head. it's the only thingl When my attorney stepped into the picture. It was obvious that tiptoeing was not going to get me anywhere." Gee. True when the chips were on the table. Not only did I not have a signed commission agreement or a certifted mail slip proving that I had registered the .and confused. and from there things got very emotional. All that I had were what the seller had originally told to me would be all that I would ever need-his honesty and integrity. the reality was that I was dealing from a position of weakness. attorney) shamelessly laid their cards on the table. Finally. pointing out the third and most critical mistake I had made.I tried to pull myself together and take a ftrm stand/ but the tougher I got. I committed one of the most unforgivable sins of deal-making: I began to press. The words honesty andintegrity had suddenly disappearedfrom his vocabulary.Type Number TWo Isn't Sorry 69 St. in no uncertain terms. however. an outrageousflaunter of white hats whose unspoken motto was: Cheating isn't everything. my professor argued that he had found out that I had simply "contacted a lot of prospective buyers" and that "anybody could do that. nor did I have so much as a certified letter showing that I had registeredthe buyer with the seller. phony. I had no commission agreement with the seller. he droppedhis to his species.

a seller had no legal obligation to pay a commission to anyone who did not have a real estate license in Missouri/ even if the agentwas licensed in another state. had I not had the good senseto call in my attorney at the eleventh hour.or pimps-are almost aldoctors. .VO To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? buyer with the seller. (This was my first recollectionof having an instinctive libertarian thought. gambling casinos.000+commission I had expected to receive.) I assessedthe playing field. his client would be generous and throw me a $20. Given that it was a bone or nothing. T. It wasn't the $200. ways in favor of ever tougher licensing laws: It keeps the competition out! Welcome to the world of government licensing scams/ Mr.His attorney told my lawyer that if I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of the way. and quickly determined that what I was involved in here was nothing less than a legal mugging. Accordingly. hair dressers. I feel certain that I would have walked away from this repugnant experience chipless.It was only becauseof the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRule that I endedup being given a "tip" from my Type Number TWo professor. but it certainly helped me to have an even greaterappreciation for the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney Respect Rule-an invaluable tool when employed onyout behalf.gureout why those who are already licensed-be they real estate agents. In fact. in the event of a sale. The idea that the government could anoint itself to have the power to ordain who should and should not be allowed to earn a living selling real estate seemedboth oppressive and outrageousto me. Missouri had a law prohibiting unlicensed persons from working on the sale of properties located within the state. The seller's attorney gleefully informed my lawyer and me that.000 bone. My attorney quickly checked it out and confirmed that the seller's attorney was absolutely right. I chose the bone.I was missing the most important legaitool of all: a real estatelicensein Missouri. in fact. the state where the property was located. Later in my careerI was able to fi.

and walked away with but a token fee amounting to about one-fourth of one percent of the selling price of the property. Type Number Two professor.wherever you may be. but all three of the legal tools a real estate agent needsto protect himself. I now recognized that whenever a person spent an inordinate amount of time expounding on the importance of honesty and integrity. Louis. had taught me well.\peNumber TWo Isn't Sory '-t 1 tl My Type Number Two professorat Screw U. preferably. As with my organic-chemistry-classCourt Holder many years earlier. I vividly recall your telling me that you would like to do some building in warm weather climates.avoid dealing with him at all. I also vowed that if someonerefused to sign a commission agreement with me in the future-reg ardless of the reason-I would assumethat he was a Type Number TWo and walk away from the deal. I had made one of the biggestapartment-developmentsales in the history of St. so I'm sincerely h"ppy for you that you're going to get your wish when you pass on to the next world.I thank you. it was a signal for me to pull out my can of roach killer or. Becausemy professorhad been such a master of his highly skilled craft.Ifelt confident that I could spot a Type Number Two pretty quickly in the future. I carefully analyzedmy mistakes and concluded that in my first maior deal I had been missing not one/ not two. .

the Missouri Massacre") was a maior turning point in my career. the reality that I had been dealing from a position of weakness and. as a result. However. Louis fiasco I discussedin the previous chapter (offfciaily listed in the Screw U. and receive. had been repeatedlyand unmercifully intimidated.CHeprr^ I Mv SrNron YpaR AT Scnpw U. archives as . the reality that there are only three types of people in the businessworld. and that I would begin to earn.because it forced me to separatereality from wishes-the reality that the game of business is played in a jungle rather than on a nursery school playground. serious commissions. I had not yet determined just how to go about ac- v2 . he St. I vowed that I would find a way to strengthen my posture.. and that all three are out to get your chips.

this regard. Following arebrief accounts of those final three credits that I neededto earn my undergraduatedegreefrom Screw U. things were still pretty tight for me financially. Three experiences. Louis property. Still reeling from the Missouri Massacre. 1: Even though I had received $20.-gave me the final preparationI needed. Such was the atmosphere at one of my second-mortgage . While the lessonsfrom the Missouri Massacre were fermenting in my mind.and the tone of sa. These experiences also underscoredfor me the inefficiency of working on small deals. along with those learned from my Type I Number One and Type Number Three professors. your voice tend to give you away. your facial expressions. which I increasingly eameto reahzewas at the heart of my problems. It's a difficult problem to hide. I needed time to clear my head in order to formulate a workable gameplan. All three were second-mortgage each casethe fact that I was dealing from a position of weakness was glaringly apparentto everyone invoived. Credit No.experiences but to come out on top in the forebodingwilderness of the Busideals. And the person on whom you are counting to pay your fee can usually senseyour anxiety. /-i complishing this objective. My experiences during the next year-my last year at ScrewU.My Senior Yearat Screw U. and in nessworld |ungle. stand out in my mind in that showed me not only how to survive.000 for selling the St. It took a little over a year fiorme to put the finishing touches on a reality-basedphilosophy that I felt confident I could implement. My posture was weak precisely becauseI needed every commission so badly. you need the monet and he knows it. Even if you're vigilant when it comes to being careful about what you your body language. neededmore experiencein learning how to deal with the frustrations and humiliations of the Businessworld|ungle beforeI would be prepared to make a significant move up the food chain.in particular.

so I had taken it to another lender. right there at the execution {read.that I would work only on dealsthat held the potentialf. I also made up my mind.250for my services. in so many words.250 was shameful. but barking for $1. I can clearly recall the builder/sattorney telling me at the closing. only to end up hav- . My Type Number One professorhad rejectedthis particular secondmortgageproposal. I felt a greatdealof selfdisdain for allowing myself to get into a situation where I was the epitome of the proverbial 97-pound weakling. Barking was bad enough.As a result.250that was of coming to me.The one thing that standsout in my mind about this deal is that I worked harder on it than I did on many of my later closingsthat resulted in huge commissions. As I sat through the closing. What errors in judgment had I made that caused to be down on my handsand me knees. after many sadistic attempts on the part of the borrower's attorney to increasemy anxiety level. playing the toady role to the hilt and meekly doing whatever I was told.. It was getting near graduation time at Screw U. groveling like a beggarhoping to be thrown a few crumbs? Finally.14 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? closingsthat took place shortly afterthe Missouri Massacre.closing).I was determined to ffnd a way to maneuver myself into a position of strength to the point of becoming virtually intimidation-proof.It was one of the most degrading episodesof my undergraduatedaysat Screw U.250bone was relinquished.yet I was paid-very begrudgingly-a fee of only $1. As I sat there. that if I was a good boy and kept my mouth shut (shades St.250very badly.I might get the $1. I vowed to rectify my posture in the future so I would never again have to suffer such degradation. humiliated.or a payoff big enoughto justify my time and effort. I allowedmyself to be intimidated. The critical factor was that I needed the $1. Louis). If tortoises could bark. and I was tired of working on deals to the point of exhaustion. the $1.and I let it show. Legalman probably would have made me stand on my haunches and give it a go before tossing me my meagerreward.

boy. and I might throw it to yott." . Be good andkeep your mouth shut.I't 'N \./ "Down. down.

for psychological reasons.He sent a representative inspect the property. At the meeting. so I submitted it to another lender in New York. I explained that I had quoted the prospective borrower an interest rate in the area 13 percent plus a frontof end "discount" fee of 10 percent.I reasonedthat if the borrower paid me directly. it's inhumane not to accommodate them-especially if they're sellers or borrowers.I had told the borrower that he (the lender) would be responsible for paying my fee. if my fee was tacked on to the lender's up-front discount-much the sameas in my Cincinnati deal-the borrower would think of it as coming out of the lender's pocket rather than his.000fee (which I had built into the 10 percent up-front discount). most of which were penny ante ln size. I made up my mind that I was going to go for a substantial fee in this deal. I also informed the lender that. but I had already learned how important it was to humor borrowers and sellers. of course.JA To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? ing to begfor my commissions. Credit No. I proceededto explain to the lender that he needed only a percent discount in order to bring his effective interest rate up 7 to the normal backbreaking levels he was used to extracting. As second mortgages go.000-but I felt that the collateral was strong enough to support such a loan. it was a large loan request$500. However.pure paciffcation. When peoplecry out to be deluded. he would protest my being paid a $15.and expresseda seriousinterest. The lender seemed to agree. 2: My secondcredit involved another second-mortgage loan that my Type Number One professorhad turned down. and . It was. to after which I flew to New York to meet with the lender personally and see if there was anything I could do to help expedite a closing. though I realrzedI would have to structure it in such a way that the borrower would not feel as though it was coming out of "his" money {shadesof my first-ever real estateclosing in Cincinnati}.

he was actually doing me a favor by indirectly reminding me just how weak my posturewas. One of the fascinating things about the human psyche is that people don't begrudge a wealthy person making mone. How could I help but see the light when this killer-lender was shining it right in my eyes?In reality." The lender's secondremark was even more unbelievable. It was a reage fee for the placement of a second-mortgage markable statement considering that he was commonly referred business. why.Shameon me for trying to grab more than a petite sliver of the monstrous loan pie." which was kind of cute.Talk about painting a clear picture of how I was perceivedby a lender. "Let them eat cake. 77 that he could pay me the additional 3 percent discount as my fee. I had been found guilty of trying to violate one of the most sacred. Marie Antoinette said. but they very much resent someone of lesser means making "too much" money. and thereforehad no right to earn $15.During the ensuing heated discussion. But this New York money gouger with a Pol Pot personality went one step further and seemed to be saying.he said two things that would ring in my earsfor the remainder of my days at ScrewU. "You have a lot of nerve trying to earn $15. Why? Becausehe had the right posture. I was onJya broker.He said it was "unconscionable" for me to chargea 3 percent brokerloan. he said.000 Result: Explosion! The lender went absolutely berserk. First." Baml Right between the eyes. for such "services" as prepaid interest or "privileges" such as prepayment penalties. $15. "Let loan brokers eat-but not too much.My Senior Year at Screw U. Of course.000on one deal.it was all right for the lender to chargethat much.Here to as the Doctor Death of the second-mortgage was a man who had built his fortune on the misfortune and finan- . he was dealing from a position of strength.000on one deal. unwritten rules of the |ungle-the rule that little guys don't have a right to make serious money. and more. you're only a broker.

Don't you understand that you're only a broker!" ."You have a lot of nerve trying to earn $15.000 on one deal.

neatly packaged Soylent Green. of being thought of as one of those important guys who had a right to earn big money. this time around .I had visions of the lender'sremains sitting on a supermarket shelf. fee only this time it was even more unconscionable. Having fulfilled most of my undergraduate requirements.becauseit was based on a much smaller Ioan than the one in my previous deal. But with graduation time at Screw U.My Senior Year at Screw U.Why? BecauseI had daredto step out o{ line by attempting to earn a meaningful fee-without being prepared to see it through. Credit No. It was a matter of perception. 3: My final course at Screw U. I was just about ready to put the final pieces of my reality-basedphilosophy into place and elevate my posture to a level where it would be difffcult for to fungle predators intimidate me. But relative to the crumbs that loan brokers usually have to settle for." "discount fees." and "prepayment penalties" to up his take.000on one deal. getting the borrower to sign a fee agreement with me was a given.-the one that tied the ribbon around my diploma-involved a second-mortgage loan on an apartment development in Tampa.used hidden-charge gimmicks such as "prepaid interest." It was clear to me that the only way an individual could ever hope to have his "relativity status// upgradedwas to ffnd a way to change his posture.000. my fee was "unconscionable. my fee was insignificant. By this time. because relative to the kind of profits the lender was used to making. near at hand. never closed. 79 cial desperationof others. I was again shooting for an "unconscionable" of $15. The deal. I was experiencedenough to be able to quickly spot the warning signsthat indicated that I would have trouble collectingmy fee if the dealclosed. who earnedinterest rates of l5 percent and more (which in those daysborderedon loan-shark rates). and I didn't need a real estate license in Florida. becausethere was no sale involved. and who was now proclaiming that it was unconscionablefor me to be making $15. Also. as you might have guessed. as The Theory of Relativity comesinto play here.

without announcing it to anyone in advance. I became so certain that the borrower had no intention of paying me my $15. I actually had a very important appointment scheduledfor the same day as the Tampa closing. you were probably looking at a broker or agent who was waiting for his commission check to arrive. clearly spelling out in our agreement that I was to receive my fee directly from the borrower. . so.which must have had him cackling to himself about how easythe upcoming chip theft was going to be.8O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? my fee wasn't buried in the lender's front-end discount. and present my signed fee agreementto the attorneys representing the borrower and lender. he would not focus. I purposely did not give the borrower any indication that I intended to be present at the closing.I sent an assistant to Tampa the night before the loan was to be finalized. I purposely avoided discussing my commission with him during our many telephone discussions. I put all my cards on the table from the outset.I was pretty certain that it would never occur to him that a loan broker would fly halfway across the country to collect af. First. {If you ever ventured into a loan broker's or real estate agent's offtce and were surprised to see a cobweb-coveredskeleton-cigar butt between its teeth-sitting behind the desk. and it began to look like the deal was As things progressed going to close. on making certain that I wasn't allowed in the closing room on iudgment day. in advance.I felt there was a good chance that he could invoke the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRule as a way of protecting my fee. Given that he had a law degree. becausea typical masochist-broker ignorantly and naively waits for his commission check to be mailed to him.) I ftgured that as long as it didn't occur to the borrower that I might attend the closing.eeat a closing. be very friendly and matter-of-fact.000 fee that I started customizing a plan to protect myseif. I told him to show up at the closing the next morning. becauseI didn't want him to be on guard. As it turned out.

aboveall. $15. As you would expect.t certiffed. I always counted heavily on the hare making the mistake of pausingat some point. or just put "it" of.My Senior Year at Screw U. Maybe he would stop off to have a martini/ or eat lunch. As early as fungle 401 you learn that an uncertifted check should be viewed as no checkat all.000check.I quickly checkedin. he told me that the borrower had done a double-take when he walked through the door. and I was ravenous. Whatever the causemight be. On top of everything else. and yumped in my car.f. I quickly called the airlines and found that if I hurried I had just enoughtime to throw a few things in abagand make it to the airport for a late-evening flight to Tampa.credit cards/and. Laughingly. then sat down to discuss strategywith him. the adrenalin started flowing at mach speedwhen I heard that the check wasn.000. I grabbed few necessities. however.I hadn't eaten a thing all day.The other option was to ignore my hunger and exhaustion and fly to Tampa that night so I could get an early start on protecting my Hunger and exhaustionneverhad a chance. was that the check was not certified! Even though I had had very little sleep over the past several days and was exhausted from having worked without a break since early that morning. the trip was miserable. after which we hurried to the motel where he was staying.As is always the casewith late-evening flights.My assistantmet me at the airport.My mental scalesinstantly weighedthe two options. 8tr The next evening. The bad news. a checkedto make sure that I had somecash. my assistantcalled me long distanceto relate what had taken place at the closing. One option was to give in to my hunger and exhaustion and fly to Tampa the next morning-very possibly too late to cash the $15.000check to him. after a lot of mumbling and stalling. and I arrived in Tampa feeling like a corpse. Then. until tomorrow becauseit was so late in the day. or get some other work done. the borrower ffnally handed over a $15. I had developed great faith that my opponentwould alwaysbecome lax at some point . identification.

a whole cadreof bank employeeswas buzzing around trying to figure out what to do about this unheard-of request. there I was-black businesssuit. You haven't lived until you've walked into a strangebank.000in cash. I walked directly to a teller's winthe $15. Finally.) My cross-country trip had been basedon an assumption and gamble. I'll passyou on the left: if you slow dov.and black briefcase-standing in front of the bank. The assumption was that the borrower was going to a stop payment on the $15. black-rimmed sunglasses. the gamble was that he would make the mistake of procrastinatingand not take care of the matter until the bank openedthe next morning. I grabbed a couple hours of restless sleepat the motel. Within minutes.menough to look over your left shoulde4 I'11pass you on the right. in a Iaraway town-wearing a black suit. then draggedmyself out of bed at the crack of dawn' I was taking no chances on not being at the front door of the bank when it opened. but a cold shower and the thought of $15.000was stimulating enoughto keep me moving.000check for payment.I felt as though I hadn't slept in a week.000check. .E2 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? along the way and give me just enough time to make certain that the Tortoise and Hare Theory took effect. I think everyone in the bank assumedthat I was connected with the Mafia.000 check. Someone-a strange someoneat that-was actually demanding that a bank come up with real. was a sceneright out of Scarface. black-rimmed sunglasses.Calmly laying dow and presented personal identiftcation items on the counter/ I explained out my that I would like the $15. (If you slow down enough to look over your right shoulder. etc. waiting for it to open.with as many largebills as It possible (so I could fit it all into my briefcase). and carrying a black briefcase-and tried to casha $15. Needless to sat I was the ftrst customer through the door that morning. live cash in olace of a checkl The nerve of someoneto want cash.

becauseit was drawn on the trust account of the attorney representing the lender. I believed there was a reasonable chance that the attorney who had disbursed the money for the lender might not know what the borrower's intentions were (assumingthat his intentions were. After all. and even more surprisedto hear that I . Success! The banker took my suggestionand called the attorney instead.) I arguedthat the check was drawn on his bank. like a true hare. he would get sidetrackedfor awhile. I insisted that there was no reason to involve the endorser. I thought to myself that even if the borrower was intending to stop payment on the check. that he could examine the attorney's signatureon the front of the check to conffrm that it was valid. My wheels started turning again. in Iact. (The check had been disbursedon an attorney's trust account directly to the borrower. I emphasizedthe logic of my suggestionby pointing out that the attorney was a customer of the bank. 83 A bank officer ffnally "took charge" and explained that he would have to call the person who had endorsed the check to make certain that it was not a forged endorsement. the bank offfcer insisted on making the call. To say the least. Legalman was quite surprised to hear that I was in town. and that the only other thing he neededto do was conffrm that the funds were in the account.I knew that a call to the borrower/endorserwould be an invitation to a dispute that in all likelihood would result in payment on the check being stopped-or at least held up. I quickly blurted out that I thought the endorserof the check had said that he would be orrt of town that day. I was further counting on the fact that.My Senior Yearat Screw U. and that the banker would probably have more success calling the attorney who had originally signedthe check. he probably had not had time to think through just how he was going to do it. to try to somehow stop payment on the check). he had been taken by surprisewhen my assistantshowed up at the closing.faster this time. and the borrower had then endorsedit over to me. No luck.

000cash into my black briefcaseas a sesunglasses. as I laid back in my seat. .000 cash-made the nightmare of the previous 12 hours a small price to pay. had arrived. On the plane trip home. and "The Catch" (Dwight Clark). but in this casel laughed all the way from the bank' I have no way of knowing if it ever came to pass. No more crawling around on my hands and knees and no more penny-ante deals. Then came "The Scene.but the thought that the borrower might have been calling the bank or Legalman to see if there was some way that he could stop payment on the check-while I was on my way to the airport cafiying a briefcase filled with $15. and my impeccable education had preparedme to go forth into the Businessworld|ungle and start hunting for big game. From now on I was going to display a high-level posture.000 check. I was so focusedon securingpossessionof the $15. "Crying all the way to the bank" is an old clich6. There I was. I told myself that the time had arrived. and the money was going to be big. standing in front of the teller's cagein my black suit and black-rimmed stuffing $15. Graduation time at Screw U.000that it was not until I clicked shut the latches on my bulging briefcasethat I noticed that everyone in the bank was staring at me." It was destined to rank right up there years iater with "The Drive" (|ohn Elway). he confirmed that he had signed the check and had watched the borrower endorseit in my name.thoroughly exhausted. "The Pass" (|oe Montana).B4 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? was at the bank trying to cash the $15. Nonetheless. curity guard dutifully stood by.

1t -=1 . 7 0 0 .(w Yt2 . $ 7 3 .. . 3 0 0 . " $ 7 3 . 2 0 0 . . $ 7 3 . " .

Cu. reality-based to organizemy experiences l\ \\ philosophy. because I had worked very hard to learn the businessand establish many excellent contacts. however. fter completing my Tampa credit at ScrewU'. which states:No one has an obligation-moral. The reasoning I am referring to is encapsulatedin the LeapfrogTheory. it was time A into a workable. My first major decision in this regard was to switch my loans to the sale of large commerefforts from second-mortgage cial properties. 86 . At ftrst I was a bit apprehensiveabout no longer specializing in second-mortgageloans. the reasoningI used was destined to become an integral part of my thinking for the rest of my life.When I ff. then lay out a specific plan for implement-L ing it.opru* I Mv GneDUATToN FRoM ScnEw U.nally made the decision.

society. But if you're truly prepared to move up the ladder in your profession. (Interestingly. You don't have to wait for industry bigwigs. years after I had written Winning through Intimidation. 6l Legal. In other words.the more you're prepared. but by leapfrogging catch. Without authorization from anyone else.you simply take it upon yourself to begin operating on a higher level. If one aspiresto great accomplishments/ he must recognize that the quickest way to the top is not by fighting his way over it." an Every human being possesses inalienable right to make a uniIateral decision to rcdirect his career and begin operating on a higher level at any time he believeshe is prepared to do so.or any other abstract entity to christen you an expert in your chosenfield. It's enormously frustrating to know in your heart that you're capableof bigger accomplishments/yet spendmost of your time and energy fighting day-to-daybattles in the midst of rankand-file mediocrity. move to Los Angeles. and becomea "celebrity" doctor. Put another wat the easiestway to eliminate most of your competition is to simply refuse to acknowledge it.the realities of the Businessworld |ungle will knock you right back into the pack in short order.the better your chances of staying on the higher level you have unilaterally chosen for yourself. If you aren't preparedto rise above the competition.and without being saddledby guilt feelings or ill-founded moral obligations. though you have a perfect right to proclaim that you're ready to move upward.there is no law that requires you to be patient and wait for conventional-wisdom adherents to anoint you. a well-known doctor in Los Angeles.) . in spite of any self-proclamations. then.or otherwtse-to "work his way up through the ranks. There is.My Graduation from Screw U. howevet. Conversely. a through the pack. no amount of chest-pounding can overcometruth. who was married to a famous actress/ conffded in me that if he had not read Winning through Intimidation and implemented the Leapfrog Theory he never would have had the courage to leave his home town.

Recognizingthis fact motivated me to devise and implement specific techniques to protect myself against the tactics of the kinds of intimidators who had bludgeonedme in the past. same-being intimidated into allowing others to control your destiny. And the more I thought. Most of this was accomplishedsitting on a big rock next to a river. Instead I was able to receive. in the case of second-mortgage-loans. thinking and taking notes.I reanalyzedmy most memorable experiences during my years at Screw lJ. and worked on putting it all together into a workable philosophy. I probably would still be beggingfor crumbs begrudgingly thrown to me by unappreciativesecond-mortgage borrowers. the problem is the lenders). Once I made the decision to apply the LeapfrogTheory to my prior to and career. what I'm talking about here is the Theory of Intimidation. the more I became convinced that intimidation had been at the root of most of my problems when it came to being short-chipped in the deals I had worked on.personal relationships. which states: The results a percan achieves are inversely prcportionate to the degreeto which he is intimidated. . But regardlessof one's business. In fact. Stated in theory form. that the problems most people encounter in trying to achieve their objectives-in business. I became convinced. and still am today. For real estate agents/the intimidation comes from both buyers and borrowers and sellers (or. and virtually all other facets of life-stem from being intimidated by others. had I not implemented the Leapfrog Theory. it was in the deals in which I had been the most intimidated that I had taken the greatest financial beatings./ extracted the lessonslearned from them. and it was in the deals in which I had been intimidated the least that I had walked away with the most chips.less than five months later.88 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Likewise. a sales commission that was almost twice the combined total of all the commlssions I had receivedduring my ffrst three yearsin the real estate business. Clearly.

. E9 While I felt confident that I had zeroed in on the crux of the issue. The ffrst step toward solving a problem is to analyze its causes. if your posture suggests that you're "only a broker" (to borrow the words of the second-mortgage lender who believed that my fee was "unconscionable"). these people had something else going for them that had nothing to do with monet something that relike these. However. it was apparent to me that the most relevant factor in my ongoing dilemma was my posture. I also recalled a number of people whom I had known to be generally respected-even feared-who played the game from a position of strength. When I thought of power. and at the heart of his posture power was wealth. Basedon firsthand experience. I remembered my old Type businesswho was Number One professorin the second-mortgage the epitome of someonewhose posture was impenetrable.Why and how had I been cast in the role of intimidatee in past dealings?I felt confident that I had more knowledge and ability than most of the principals with whom I had dealt. So in my mind. His posture was evident to prospectiveborrowers without his ever having to utter a word. In real estate brokerage.My Graduation from Screw U. a conclusion that produced the Posture Theory. but what your postute is when you say or do it. it was critical to figure out a way to maneuver myself into a position of apparent power. for example. Obviously. but knowledge and ability seemedto have no effect on our respective positions as intimidator and intimidatee.you're going to end up being intimidated no matter how great your knowledge and ability and no matter how impressiveyour words and actions are. the overriding question became: What can I do to improve my weak posture?Clearly. In life in general. In cases was a matter of perception overruling reality. notwithstanding their lack of wealth. doing something about it was another matter altogether. I concluded that it sulted in a powerful image. which states: It's not what you say ot do that counts. and the principals seeyou as nothing more than an unnecessary annoyancein their deal.

The key to legal power was to use my own past disastersas a guide to developing the proper legal tools. I also recognized that it was necessary possess certain to a amount of rcal power if I didn't want to come acrossas a Wizard of Oz cione. The only practical solution was that I could no longer operate as "only a broker.it had done an excellent iob of consistently separatingme from my chips.It was a silly head game that I recognizedI would have to learn to play if I intended to survive in the |ungle. During my yearsat Screw U.. I had flunked enough tests at ScrewU. In other words.I believed that if I had the proper iegal tools on my side. is And. I didn't want to rely solely on image without having something to back it up." I had to portray an image that would change the perceptionof principals in the dealsI worked on. I had becomeever more careful about having all my t's crossedand i's dotted. basedon my Cincinnati and St. They would have to respectme enough to feel that I had a right to earn big commissions.to my delight. But. that whenever I brought my attorney into a deal. the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney Respect Rule came into play and gave me the power I needed to keep from being cannibalized. to be able to tecognizethat there were basically three critical legal tools at the disposal of any real estate agent who had the courageand determination to employ them. I had learned. Louis experiences.I'11almost always opt for substance. No matter how offended one may be at a state government's standing in the way of . I reasoned that if both my legal power and image power were strong from the outset/ they in turn would give me the posture to having stayingpower. And up to this point in my career. like it or not-fair or unfair-a harsh reality of the |ungle is that perception can often carry the day. Substance important.90 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? when it comes to substanceversus perception. The first tool was now obvious to me-a real estate license in the state where the property was located. recogI nized that one of the most substantive things I could do is have legal strength. it would give me the real power I needed.

I was truly amazed at how many real estate agents worked on the sale of large properties without having a written commission agreementwith the seller.As a graduating senior at Screw U. It involved a considerableamount of time.I vowed that in the future. energy/ and investment/ but I ultimately obtained real estate licenses in 11 states and the District of Columbia at a time when multi-state licensing in real estate was virtually unheardof. they were awarethat if a lawsuit were to develop over my commission. 91 his selling real estate without its approval. I had alreadybeen using certified mail in my dealings for quite some time. At Screw U. then registeredthe name of the lender or buyer with the borrower or seller. The third legal tool was the use of certified mail. So I acceptedthis reality and decided that I would have to be licensed in every state in which I wanted to sell property. the introduction of dated and stampedcertified slips and letters into court proceedingswould be strong evidence of my degreeof involvement.. the principals were far less likely to ignore me. many real estate agents can't seem to come to grips with the reality that it is normally not in the seller's best interest to seethem receive a big commissionor any commission at all! I had already become pretty successful at secudng signed commission agreementsfrom borrowers and sellers. As a result of using certified mail. The second legal tool was a signed commission agreement with the seller before beginning to work on his property. but now I would take a more serious and or- . the reality is that it happensto be the way the world works.but "pretty successful" would no longer be satisfactory. Experience had taught me that it was nothing short of suicide to work on a deal on the basis of a verbal understanding. I would not expend an ounce of energy until the seller signeda commission agreement. I had observed that whenever I used certified mail to submit a deal to a lender or buyer. No matter how many times they are victimized. no matter how good the deal or how big the potential commission.My Graduation from Screw U.

both prior to and during my undergraduate days at Screw U. wanted to make it as difftI cult as possible for a seller to passthe giggle test while claiming that I had not earned my commission. The combination of. image and substanceis virtually unbeatable. progress.I laid out a system of certiffed-mail communication that was so intricate that I felt confident it would practically prove my case in court if I ever had to ffle suit to collect a commission. in your heart of hearts.and conclusion of the sale were due primarily to the efforts of The Tortoise. It was my version of a Star Wars defenseto shield my commissions: I wasn't out to attack anlone. that while these legal tools could be very effective in cases where litigation became necessart their primary purposewas to help me avoid lawsuits. Legal power is essentialin the |ungle. It's important to point out/ however. From now on/ it was going to be obvious to both the buyer and seller that the initiarion. I just wanted to make it as difficult as possible for some lecherousprincipal to launch an intercontinental ballistic axe aimed at my fingers. of knowing that you really do deserve to be handsomely rewarded because you provided great value to the party you represented. I now believed that I had the education and experience to apply my philosophy not only to the earning and rc- . performance power is a real high. but from a self-esteem standpoint. But I wanted to take it one step further and back up my image power and legal power by being the best at my profession. I would finally achieve the image power I had dreamed about for so long. There is nothing more powerful than having a reputation for getting results. Nothing beats the feeling. With the techniques I describein the next chapter. The Theory of Intimidation and the Posture Theory put the ffnishing touches on the reality-basedphilosophy I had been developing for years. In other words.92 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? ganized approach to this important facet of my business. I wanted to demonstrate performance power. and with the use of my three legal tools I would have the rcal power to back up my new image.

I iust kept thinking about the excruciating pain I had suffered on so many occasions at Screw U. Being liked was not much of a reward for and financial success. In the past. I discuss what I believe to be the .. By being poor and disrespected. resentment. In the next ffve chapters. No question about it. and converting them into a workable philosophy. the same token. At long last. and concluded that a little jealous. Having developed a pretty good understanding of human nature at ScrewU. I had often been aware of the right thing to do. was the smartest thing I ever did. and scorn. even outrage. but had allowed my emotions to oveffule my intellect.. announced to the world that I had leapfroggedto a new level-I would be the target of ill will and. maioring in Reality at Screw U. How did I summon the courage to move forward in the face of such certain discomfort? Easy.It was no longer theory but reality. As part of my plan to changemy image. in some quarters. my philosophy was not only clearly developed. I in had succeeded extracting the lessonslearned from my painful experiencesat Screw U. You might say that it was my own version of a redistribution-of-the-wealth program. but to every aspect of life.My Graduation from Screw U.. I would now place great emphasis on being unwavering in my determination to follow my intellect and thus elevatemy status in the Businessworld|ungle. and scorn was a small price to pay in return for dignity.e. I also recognizedthat once I proclaimed that I was above the pack-i. resentment. 93 ceiving of large real estate commissions. peaceof mind. money and respect were more than enough consolation for having a pack of insecureneurotics dislike me. but organized in such a fashion that it was practical to use in my day-to-day dealings. All that remained was for me to customize my techniques to ftt each new situation and thereby rearrangethe division of chips in the dealson which I worked. there was little doubt in my mind that my audacious decision to leapfrog my peers in the real estate business was an almost certain invitation to jealousy.

I've never seen the fffth-and most important_ step discussed any book: in 5.spersonallife . whether or not you like it. I again emphasize that the philosophy I used can be applied not only to any other kind of business. In the remainder of this book. GETTING PAIDI The above two words are the onry ones I have both capitalized and underlined in this book.. It.both in your businessand personallife. 2. everyonewho has ever tried to sell anything has disas covered.e. Because. which should give you p.. Closingthe sale. you make a grave mistake if you develop the habit of prematureiy celebrating.Be_ ing a successful salesmanrequires: l. you are a salesman.ftve basic steps of * that these srepscan be applied to virtually any aspectof life. Implementing a salespresentation andfor marketing strategy."rry " good idea of the degree of importance I place on getting paid.s more than iust a metaphor to say that we sell ourselvesto the rest of the world every day of our lives. but quite an_ other to actually receive it. to his dismay.but to one. and the check has cleared the bank. Everything elseis fluff. Throughout the book I have continualiy used the phrase "oinrng and receiving. Having a product that other peoplevalue. 4. Locating a marker (i. These four steps have been discussedin many salesbooks. Why do I keep adding the words .. it will become obvious to you that the techniques I used to satisfy the ffrst four selling sieps were oriented toward successfully completing the fifth and most important step:getting paid.re not through until you've crossed all the t's. The ftrst four steps of selling are familiar to most people.and receivinq?. 3. buyersffor your product.s one thing to earn a fee. Think of it as the Bottom-Line Theory which states: you.s. it. but. remarkably. dotted all the i.

humming the school's into the Businessworld|ungle in alma mater as I disappeared searchof biggergame. Regardless what it is you're trying to accomplish.cent. The moment had arrived for him to move deep into the forebodinginterior of the Businessworld|ungle and begin playing the game for big chips. With arrns spread and raised above my head. The $l blackjack table no longer excited him. As I stood at the gatesof ScrewU. . and pain.you can't do better than foreboding interior of the Businessworld lungle and swrng open the doors to the b accarat r oom. I smiled warmly and declared. for the last time. I turned and made my final exit through the magnifi. the time had come for The Tortoise to graduate from Screw U. I looked back at my three professorswho were observing my departure with varying degreesof curiosity. ask yourself: What actions must I take to achieve the always bottom-line result? What must I do to bring about the payoff I'm after? It was a long and agonizing road I had traveled. It's just a matter of customization. Now. a road lined with endlessfrustration. Swing open the doorsto the baccaratroom and make way {or The Tortoise! {If you're going to mix metaphors. humiliation. each hand displaying the traditional Nixonian victory sign." With that. But The Tortoise had responded by doing what he is programmed to do from birth-plodding and trudging forward in the hopes of somehow finding a way to cross the finish line before the hare awakens. 95 as well. it should result in my earning. andreceiving. Hmmm.. blood-stainedgatesof Screw U. ) I felt that if I was right about my philosophy.substantial real estatecommissions on a regular basis. lo and behold.My Graduation from Screw U. reality applies to all of areasof life. "Let me make one thing perfectly clear:You won't have The Tortoise to kick around anymore.

<-- 5"Let me make one thing perfectly clean You won't have The Tortoise to kick around anvmore." .

One of the main problems with this modus operandi is that you're too far removed from the person who is supposedto pay the commission. they preferredto take the easyway out and work on deals passed along to them by their peers.Rather than spending the time. rule number one was to avoid working with other real estate agents-or/ as they say in the trade. energy. which in turn dramatiyour chancesof getting paid. co-brokering. and money necessaryto solicit listings directly from principals.Experiencehad taught me that the worst possibleway to find deals was through others brokers and salesmen. co-brokering seemed to be a w^y of life for most real estate agents.Cneprn" 1O UsrNcPosrunEPowpn ro Cer rHE Berr hen it came to obtaining a product to sell. I felt that an agent cally decreases ql . Nonetheless.

and for that reason it should be avoidedwhenever possible.In simple terms. but not practical. and when you co-broker a deal. co-brokering is the best way I know of to decrease one's chancesof receiving a commission. The odds against closing a major deal are staggeringeven when you work directly with a principal.you in effect form a triangle. the ultimate hope. I took matters into my own hands and did everything possible to control the destiny of the sale. implement a marketing method. a small piece of the commission will miraculously filter its way down to him.It. however.98 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? who operated in this manner was kidding himself by not confronting head on the Type Number Ones. and Threes who must ultimately be reckoned with in every sale if a commission is to be paid. circumstances regardingtwo of the salesI discusslater in this book were such that it madesense for me to pay a co-brokeragefee to another agent. and closethe sale.s a lottery mentality-hoping upon hope that some agent with whom he is dealing will somehow get lucky and close a sale-and then. But to try to close a saleunder the handicap of a third party standing between you and the person who has the power to say yes or no is a bit masochistic. the shortest distancebetween two points is a straight line. seem_ ingly achieving fulfillment from their conversationsalone. I had known many real estateagentswho spent day after day discussing multimillion-doilar deals with other agents. . Twos. I'm not saying that a real estate agent should never work with another broker or salesmanunder any circumstances. They steeredclear of the excruciating effort it takes to securea listing directly from a seller. Such an agent limits his efforts to sending out tenth_ generation copies of scanty information about properties furnished him by other agents. though. let alone the time and energy it requires to locate a buyer for a property.That would be ideal. My main interest was now in large apartment developments. As a regular habit. Even in those instances.

anytime-and the more they build. did not come to the phone. At Screw U. of course/endedup not financing out. anywhere. I came right out and told her that it regarded the purchase {not listing!) of one of her employer's apartment developments. I made it a point to introduce myself to the owner's secretarybefore she asked who I was. If the secretary still insisted on knowing the nature of my call. A real estate developerwith a true building disorder would not hesitate to construct a luxury high-rise in the Australian Outback if he could obtain financing . I would then call him back in six months or so to seeif circumstanceshad changedand if he might then have an interest in selling his property. in a matter-of-fact tone. they are ready and ment developers willing. or if he came to the phone and told me that he had no interest in selling..Using PosturePower to Get the BalI 99 and the rule I laid down for myself was to not work on any proiect I that was smaller than 100 units. increasedthat minimum to 200 units. or at least return my call. I said that I wanted to speak to the owner about a "personal matter. if not able. the ffrst thing I wanted to ftnd out was whether or not he had a genuine interest in selling his property. When I phoned for the first time. I would file his name and number in my tickler system for follow-up at alater date. By wording it this way. As I progressed. the more financial problems they have. I assumedthat if the owner." The obiect was to posture myself and make the secretaryassume that I knew the owner personally by volunteering my name rather than waiting for her to ask. If the owner did not return my call. I had learned that most aparthave a building disorder-i. to build anything. but was primarily interested in 300 units and up. he wasn't seriously interested in selling his property. When calling an owner cold. The reasonmost builders frantically lunge from one proiect to another is to try to keep enough cash circulating (forget about profits) to pay for the last "I can finance out" deal-which.e. after knowing the nature of my call. and then.

mate.W.es)\L ffi' l'". Sr.h* E "What a location. This proiect is a guarunteedwinner." .

However. For example.(JsingPosturePower to Get the BaII 1OI for it.let it suffice to say that uazy is crazy no matter how it is phrased. it may interest you to know that in the psychiatric world the term building disorder is almost always used in conjunction with its sister term. The owner I was searching for was the person who would come to the phone and give at least some indication that he might be interested in selling his property. But for our purposeshere. I would come acrossas "just another real estate . "I've never realiy given it much thought. a seriousseller. the next step was to obtain some figures about his property so I could determine whether or not the deal was makeable. No matter how I respondedto such an inquiry. They live in an entirely different world from the rest of us-one that revolves almost entirely around "the next deal"-and they speak a languageall their own. "Who ateyou?" my posture as EI SchlepoTortoise would be forever stamped on his forebrain. "I'm always willing to listen" more often than not really meant/ Make me an off.Not only do they not necessarily mean what they say.er. Builder-owners.bless their heartsI are a unique species. he would almost always act coy during my initial conversation with him. most of the time they don't even mean what they think they mean. I say indication. Once the owner displayedan interest in selling. in fact. because I first wanted to establish my posture. I never askedthe owner for this information during my initial conversation with him." "I'm desperate. In caseyou're a medical buff. becausean owner will rarely come right out and admit that he's interested in selling his property. ScrewU. Experience had taught me that where an owner was actively trying to sell his propeven in cases erty. By now though. pathological builder." he was.Once the seller blurted out something like. I had learned to translate "builderese" doublespeakinto English pretty well. I ultimately became savvy enough to recognize that when an owner said something like. had taught me that one of the first things a seller doesto ensconcehimself as the intimidator is to make the real estate agentiustify his existence.

. hardcover brochure costing nearly $5 a copy. I accomplished this by having a unique calling card designed. So my whole approach was geared to establishing image power in an effort to avoid having to iustify my existence.nally got around to mentioning my name on the fol- .. In iact. That way.. The black cover had a high-gloss ftnish. I not only had to be above being "just another real estate agenttttI had to be beyond even being asked who I was. An Investment On the first page opposite the inside cover was a telescopic view looking down on metropolitan Chicago. and the brochure opened from bottom to top rather than the more traditional right-to-left format.full-color.. I had to be so far removed from the rest of the pack that the owner would be too intimidated to dare to ask me such a question.... black front cover was a breathtaking.lO2 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? agent. even if he wasn't interested in seiling his property right noq the chances were pretty good that he would contact The Tortoise down the road if his circumstancesshould change... all that appearedon the inside front cover were the following words: Earth To Life . Centered on the glossy. In addition to eliminating the question of who I was..Support To the Explorer A Base To the Wise . my calling card made it almost impossible for an owner to forget me.. As per the Leapfrog Theory..Not only was my name not displayed on the front cover." and an owner needs another real estate agent about as much as he needsanother vacant apartment... My calling card was a spectacular... full-color photo of the earth as seen from the Apollo spaceship. By the time the brochure fi. it did not even appearon the inside of the front cover or ffrst page.

somewhere close by where they could quickly pull it out and show it to visitors. they just knew that I wasn't simply another member of the pack. not iust another real estate agent.[JsingPosturePower to Get the BaIl nO 3 lowing page. though. or. Not asking him for any of the details of his property immediately separatedme from the rest of the pack. Obviously. anyone who used a spectacular $5 brochure as his calling card must be somebody. there was not much else that needed to be said. anyone who didn't to feel it was necessary even mention his name on the front cover or ff. becauseit was the antithesis of how a real estateagent normally interacts with an owner. Primarily. at the very least. but made it obvious who I was: Somebody! In short. and other carefully selected items that didn't have any real meaning.It would have been like throwing away a beautifully illustrated hardcover book. Many people kept it right on their desks as a conversationpiece. the recipient of the brochure was unlikely to throw it away. Instead of the agent'susual stuttering and stammering in an effort to justify his existenceto the principal. It wasn't that anyone understoodwhat I did for a living after readingthe brochure. maps. the brochure was intimidating. Obviously. This being the case. The Tortoise acted . The bottom line was that I no longer had to justify my existence to an owner. The remainder of the brochure consisted primarily of brief statementsalluding to my generalexpertise in the field of real estate. Rarely did anyone ask me to explain anything more about my backgroundafter receiving the Earth brochure' Best of all. I took the initiative and suggestedthat I send him some information about myself. logos.rsttwo pagesof his own brochure must be somebody' I was overwhelmed by my own modesty. becauseof its spectacularnature.beforethe owner of a property could ask me any questionsabout my backgroundwhen we first spokeover the phone. it contained an abundance of dramatic pictures.

And when I took the initiative and suggestedthat it would be a good idea for the owner to learn something about me beforeproceedingfurther. well-deserved opportunity to audition for the role of intimidatee. After mailing my brochure to the owner/ I would wait a week or so before calling him again.t take a Ph.t a real estate agent. the casting of the roles in the sagawas beginning to change.Words can't expressfust how hrppy I was for him to be able to experiencethe thrill playing such a foreign role. to recognize early on that time was the most valuable commodity I possessed. I wasn. Think of it as the . it was iust as important to find out if the property was saleable. Obviously.what a property might be worth to a so_ phisticated buyer.I developed formula for calculating.) But if the mathematics of a deal are compretely out of touch with reality.regardless of the business you. grips "o-. The key was that I was not just interested in ffnding out whether or not the owner wanted to sell his property. becausereal estateagentssimply didn.I was well on my way to be_ coming the intimidator. {In this regard. it.re in. from Screw U.D. My tone implied that no one deal was that important to me.I becameever more selective about the properties I worked on. Now I was in an excellent position to further qualify the owner of the property by asking him to relate to me the most per_ tinent facts over the phone. a in a matter of seconds. followed by the arrival of my spectacularcalling card. never forget the importance of the Theory of Sustenan"" of " Positive Attitude through the Assumption o{ a Negative Result. while giving the owner a long-overdue.t talk this way. the odds of closing a deal begin to hover around zero. the owner was almost at a loss for words. It was posture power in action! After the unusual nature of my initial telephone inquiry.lO4 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? cavalier about the whole thing.It didn.s critical that that yo. This being the case.io with the reality that the chances of any speciffc deal closingeven when the figures make sense-are very slim. and when I did call I was usually put right through to him. If you want to work on large deals.

the cash that's left over and mortgagepayments from gross after deduction of all expenses receipts). by property owners-but the truth of the matter is that most buyers look at tax benefits as a bonus. Forget luck. Nevertheless. Myths about the depreciation factor in real estate dealshave been perpetuatedover the years-primarily. I suspect. Accordingly.. and almost certainly always will be the most important tactor when it comes to valuing income-producing properties-which is why they're called income-producing in the ftrst place. whenever an owner spent a great deal of time talking about the tax-shelter aspectsof his propert. to it can also skew the law of averages the detriment of the stupid person. becauseI knew it was a sign that he . At ScrewU."Anyone who has worked extensively with professionalreal estatebuyers understandsthat cash flow is the name of the game. is. salesmen and entrepreneurs in every industry seem to have a death wish when it comes to working on pie-in-the-sky deals that have virtually no chance of closing. In real estate.(JsingPosturePower to Get the BaIl nO 5 Makeable-Deal Theory. Stupidity not only has ^ way of stifling good luck. Specifically.also commonly referredto as "net spendable. I mentally rolled my eyes skyward.I focused on finding that one good deal that had a serious chance of closing rather than working on 30 bad deals and clinging to the hope that luck and the law of averages would sooner or later combine to bring about a positive result. most professional buyers do not look at "tax loss" as a primary consideration when purchasing properties. I focused on efftciency. Contrary to popular belief. which states: Concentrate your efforts on finding a few makeable deals rather than working on a large number of unmakeable deals and clinging to the desperatehope that one of them will miraculously close. I finally recognizedthat the makability of a deai revolved primarily around cashflow (i. Cash flow has.I found that owners have an uncanny ability to keep real estate agents hooked on the fantasy that unmakeable dealscan somehow be made.e. Believing in the efficacy of this theory.

I knew (though I never let on) that the price he initially quoted me would be much higher than the one he would ultimately be willing to accept. credit for being dumb enoughto overbuild. not the buyer's. but the value the buyer places on the property is basedprimarily on cash flow. focus instead on fluff (aka "The O. bearslittle relation to the owner's cost of construction. Even if a seller really believed that he wasn't going to budge from his original asking price. Experiencehad taught me that when an owner's property demonstrateda healthy cash flow. If an owner overspends on construction. Speaking of ffnancial problems. that was another critical fac- .106 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? probably did not have a saleablepiece of real estate.The seller will always take his cost of construction into account when coming up with an askingprice. even though I only considered it to be a starting point. when short on facts. The hard reality is that the market value of a propertt being pretty much based on cash flow. if any. the two of which usually go hand in hand. that's his problem. AII this led me to the conclusion that the person who knew the least about a property's market value was the owner.f. Another early giveaway to an unsaleableproperty was when an owner put a great deal of emphasis on how much it had cost hirn to develop the property or how well it was constructed. he would be quick to emphasize that aboveall other factors. The only time the quality of construction was important was when it was so shoddy that it might be viewed as a negatiye. Price and value are two entirely different issues. Nevertheless. I don't recall ever dealing with a serious seller who stuck to his original asking pdce to the bitter end. I still neededto get an indication of the owner's asking price. Sort of Iike criminal defenseattorneys who. he always endedup compromising once he smelled the unmistakable aroma oi chips on the table-especially if he had financial problems (which was almost always the case|. Factor"). Professionalbuyers give sellers very little.

desperationhad become my best friend. and was able to quickly determine-whiie talking to the owner on the phone-whether or not his property was saleable.) If there was little or no cash flow-or. in many instances the properties actually had negative cash flows. Thus.As a result of my new posture. worse/ a negative cash flow-or if the owner's asking price was light years beyond the . particularly when touting their own deals.products.Which is why you have to take most of what you hear with a grain of salt. and prospects. Unfortunately.Instead. The discrepancybetween the owner's math and reality was causedeither by his unrealistic projections or by operating statements that conveniently failed to list all expenses-especiallyreplacementcosts.and that's where my ability to translate builderese doublespeakinto English came in very handy.Using Posture Power to Get the Ball 107 tor in my determination of whether or not a deal was makeable. In fact. I would be preparedto move forward with trying to find a buyer. and assuming there were no extraordinarily negative factors involved. Nonetheless. I never met an owner who admitted that his property didn't have a positive cash flow.{The lesson to be extracted and used in other areas of one's life is that many people-probably most people-are generally unrealistic about most things. take matters into your own hands. Early in every negotiation I tried to assessthe owner's level of desperation. a significant number of properties were not saleableat any price. The reality was the that the more desperate owner/ the better my chancesof concluding a sale. replacement costs/ and other expenseitems that are not readily that I pretty much corrsideredtheir proiections and ascertainable operating statements to be useless. if the owner's asking price was at least within shouting distance of the ball-park price I had calculated. Owners are so unrealistic when it comes to vacancy factors.and do your homework. I relied on my own trusty calculator. becausemy calculations showed that most properties had little or no cash flow.

I ." With this latter statement. I then told the owner that I would have to personallyinspect his property "before making any commitments. but how many owners do you think would have been excited about my visiting them had I told them what my real objective was?Zero is a pretty good guess.lOg To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? high end of my estimate of the property's value." So when I reachedthe point not iust of finding an owner who was interested in selling his property.becausethere was no such thing as a real estateagent who was reluctant to make a commitment. at my own expense. Step one in this role-reversal game had been when I had initially called the owner and suggestedthat I send some information about myself before discussing his property in detail. the real purposeof my trip was to obtain a signed commission agreement. my next step was to haul my healthy posture onto a plane and visit the owner." Of course. I had managed. I must be "somebody. if the mathematics fell within my value parameters. I bid him adieu and allowed him to go merrily on his way talking to other real estate agentsabout how marvelous his property's construction was/ how much the project had cost to build. but who had a saleable propert. To help me be vigilant about sticking to my vow to never again work on a deal without a signed commission agreement. to set the stagefor recasting the roles of intimidator and intimidatee before the owner and I had even met. or what a greattax-loss vehicle it provided. Clearly. It would be unheard of for a lowly real estate agent to talk and act in such a manner.for the third time. I could then decide whether or not I would be willing to "make a commitment.and personallyinspect his property-and that I could not "make a commitment" until I had completedmy inspection. I could not possibly be a real estate agent. I was telling him that I was going to board an airplane. However. Now. in step three. Step two had been when he received the Earth brochure from me.

What a delightful delusion I had helped plant in the owner's mind. hey. not me. is quite another matter.for example. becauseI made it a point to assume the worst. that the owner did not own a decent calculator. I brought with me the equivalent of a portable office. you can't have it all. When I visited the owner's city. I assumedthat he didn't have a func- . I assumedthat he used a manual typewriter from out of the fifties. AIter already having been intimidated no less than three times from long-distancerange/ he was about to meet areal. I assumed.becauseit increaseshis chancesof making a sale at or near his asking price-but to have a written authorization to do so/ an authodzation that clearly spellsout the agent'scommission. In addition to the image I had taken such great pains to cultivate. Youhave nothingbut air.live tortoise-not just any old tortoise.butThe Tortoise. When I arrived in the owner's city. Anyone can work on the sale of a property-the more the merrier as far as an owner is concerned. he was going to be blessedwith the opportunity to meet the expert from a[ar. It has been a source of lasting irritation to me that I was not nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature for this gem-but. the more of an expert I became. With a verbal agteement. It seemedas though the greaterthe distance I traveled to visit an owner. You have a prafer. the big moment had finally arrived-but with a new twist: It was the big moment for the owner. I alsofound that people were more impressedwith someonefrom a distant city than they were with an expert who might have been readily available to them in their own town.Using PosturePower to Get the BaIl I O9 carried around a little card containing the words of a poem-a true literary masterpiece-I had composed: with a wtitten agreement. Finally.

(We're talking pre-Kinko. after such a long wait. mortgage-rate books. of course.)And. notwithstanding the fact that I was usually chuckling inside.subliminally woven through it)-black briefcasein hand-followed by an entourage of anywhere from one to three assistantscarrying calculators. typewriters/ typing paper. What really carried the day for me was that I was actually able to pull it off without cracking a smile. As you might have guessed. I not only brought my own calculators. extension cords. Picture the setting: Here was a real estatedeveloperwho had long delighted in such knee-slappingpastimes as pounding bamboo shoots under real estate agents. While my main reasonfor bringing my traveling office with me was to make certain that nothing was left to chance. I had to examine . and black tie with the words "|ohn D.s here. More often than not. impeccably dressedin my board-chairman'suniform (black pin-stripe suite. Rockefeller. having learnedits intricacies from my Type Number One professor at Screw U. and sometimes two or more/ secretaries..Now. at long last. I certainly did not want to disappoint him. fi.ngernails.and engaging in any number of other equally enioyable kick-the-realestate-agenttorture games. white shirt. and a variety of other materials and equipment that might be needed. I marched into his offtce.lnO To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? tional copier. I was in no hurry. I assumedthat his secretarywould become hostile if I pressedher to retype something. And rest assuredthat. Once we got down to business. from that point on I was usually in complete control of the situation.I played the noncommittal role to the hilt. there was a bonus to my road show in that it elevated my posture yet another notch. Nor did I. he sat in his office waiting for his first big meeting with the expert from afar. I also traveled with at least one. most of my assumptions proved to be pretty accurate.throwing bones in the middle of a group of l0 or 12 starving co-brokers. and other supplies and equipment.depending upon the size of the deal.

I I "Greetings." . I've come from afar to inspect your property.

I dutifully played out my inspector role. because I knew it was important to give the owner exactly what he was expecting. Again. the owner was usually hyperventilating and salivating simultaneously-a deadly combination that has the potential to make pathological builders an extinct species. provided he was ffrst interested on a cash-flow basis. After the inspection. Nonetheless. I played along with the illusion that these aspects of a property were important to experts. By this time. gingerly tapping walls with my knuckles. the quality of construction is so poor that future replacement costs promise to be inordinately high). I knew it would have little or no affect on the cash-flow numbers. Even i{ the development was built like Fort Knox. The last thing in the world I wanted was to be responsible for bursting his delusive little inspection bubble. This required me to . Finally. In other words. I zeroed in on the only relevant factor: the numbers. the critical f.is that the physical aspectsof a property aretat best. The realtty. of secondary importance to buyers (unless. and sticking my head down garbage disposals-all the while shaking my head from side to side to imply that I was very concernedabout what I was finding. of course. people have a right to delude themselves.actor was cash flow.ll2 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? all the ffgures and look the development over carefully before I could give any indication of my interest or lack thereof. and I had already roughly calculated that-in a matter of seconds-in my o{ftce. when all the meaningless factors had been reviewed to his satisfaction. The only signiftcance that exceptionally good construction or other secondaryfactors might have was that they might possibly nudge a prospective buyer a bit toward the high end of his valuation range. as previously noted. My property-inspection performancewas carried out in convincing style. Remember. It consisted of strolling through the proiect and engaging in such stimulating activities as staring at bricks. I would sit down with the owner and review as many other largely irrelevant aspectsof his property as he expresseda desire to discuss.

"I might be able to do something with this property at around 'X' dollars above the mortgage. open my rate books once again. without looking up. asking price that he had quoted me over the phone. was to jolt the owner into coming down considerablyfrom his original. always at the low end of what I had calculated to be the broad market range/so I knew in advancethat I would get a negative response. Well.. While they mean essentially the same thing. and almost always unrealistic.and pens into my hand on cue. and kept the owner on the edge of his mental seat. (Well. "Red pen!. of course. "Hmmm . That would have been too direct.My motive. I would finally look up and utter hopeful words such as.but instead of asking my assistants for syringes.and start punching away on my calculator."I was careful never to say that I could sell the property. It was almost as much fun as getting paid." I jockeyed around like this with the owner until I felt I had gotten the price down as low as I could possibly hope to get it at that early stage of the . lower ffgure than his original one.) After intensely pounding away on my portable calculator and feverishly thumbing through rate tables. OcSage-rate casionaily. "Might be able to do something" was much more mysterious. mumble some unintelligible words. I would catch a glimpse of the owner's awed expressionas I reached out my hand. . as I pointed out earlier. The first ffgure I threw out to the owner was. . phrasing. scratchpads. After the owner counteredwith a different. galrzet and scissors. however. r'ot that much fun. is of great psychological importance in all aspectsof life. Voila! The red pen instantly appearedin my hand. I would look up and say something like. I would then shake my head slowly from side to side. had them vigorously slap mortI books. Many mumbles later.out of the corner of my eye. and shouted a command such as. maybe I could stretch that to 'Y' dollars. Saying that I could seII his property would have made me sound like just another real estate agent/but phrasing it the way I did allowed me to maintain my posture as the mysterious expert from afar.Using Posture Power to Get the BalI 113 play the role of a surgeon.

In fact. While I knew that I would have to come face-to-facewith Legalman if and when it came . I did not want my understandings to look too legal. Contracts scare people. I went into every deal assuming that there was a dealkilling attorney waiting in the wings. Whether a document is called a contract or understanding has no legal significance whatsoever/ but psychologically it can make all the differencein the world to the person sitting on the other side of the table. Now I needed real power in the form of a legally binding document in order to maintain my strong posture. If a document was too legal looking. "I like to keep things simple."understandings" sound innocuous. the owner might want to bring in his attorney to review it. over a period of time. for reasons you should by now understand) and said. especiallyif their purported purposeis only to "summarize the deal'" This was a delicate and critical moment.fi4 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? game. Up to that point.for two reasons.I had wasted a lot of time. Lengthy. First. I did not use an attorney to help me construct theseunderstandings." Here agarn it was a matter of word choice. Once that was accomplished. I felt confident that the natural flow of events would continually shave the price downward. and secretaries. My main objective was to get the owner into the water. I had relied on my image power to support my posture. calculators. so I just use a one-page derstanding'tosummarizethe dealsI'm involved in. And once Legalman stepped into the picture. energy.I considered this to be such a critical step that I took the trouble to develop.and money. I knew from past experiencethat I may as well pack up my rate books. complicated-looking documents-particularly ones containing a lot of legalese-tend to make people back away. in a matter-of-fact tone/ something to the 'uneffect of.and return from whence I came. a complete seriesof "understandings" in an attempt to cover nearly every conceivable kind of situation. I then whipped out my file of pretyped contracts (which I never referred to as contracts. If I failed to get the owner to sign the understanding.

In this regard. I ultimately developedabout 20 understandings. Tivos.It was critical to get the agreement signed quickly during that first meeting while my posture was at its peak. the event some changesdid have in to be made in the agreement. Having studied this all-important subject during my stay at that hallowed institution of higher learning. Practical Law is not taught at Stanford.two items were of particular importance.understandings.but it never ceased to amazeme how those Type Number Ones. I was well equipped to write practical. and Threes always managedto come up with a new maneuver to try to separate me from my chips. And every time they did. I was usually able to get the owner to sign on the dotted line without his summoning Legalman. Second. First. I . I extractedas much information as possible from the owner over the phone so the blanks in tne agreement-with the exception of the asking price-were pretty much fflled in prior to my arriving at the owner's office.Using PosturePower to Get the Ball nl5 time for a closing to occur/ there was no way that I wanted to go up against that master problem-finder before I even had a commission agreementsigned. or any of the other prestigious law schools. Virtually every sentencein my pretyped understandingswas insertedspecifically to avoid a replay of some previous nightmare I had experiencedduring my undergraduatedays at ScrewU. Becauseof the brevity and lack of legal terminology in my plus the fact that I had firmly establishedmyself understandings. The secondreasonI wrote my own understandingswas that I wanted to make them as practical as they were legal.Harvard. It is offered only at Screw U. yet substantive. as someoneof importance.they could be made quickly and easily becauseof my modus operandi of traveling with a fully equippedoffice. I developed these two techniques specifically to avoid the possibility of having to fumble around at the moment of truth. I added yet another clause or two to my understandingsin order to prepare for the next time I might be confronted with the samemaneuver.

If the seller signed my understanding (read.. and that it was critical to strike-i. commission agreementl.I looked at it as the equivalent of a touchback in football. . with 80 percent of the field stiil standing between me and the goal line. i.. to get the agreement signed-before things cooled down.e. I was starting out ftrst-and-ten on my own 20-yard line.116 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? was cognizant of the fact that there was a point in time when the iron was as hot as it was going to get.e.

C'eprE. he welcomes any and all submissions. The catch is that most buyers are not really buyers at all.And since a buyer normally has no ffnancial obligation to an agent. so too are agents lured into wasting a great n7 . if ever. effort. He has everything to gain and nothing to lose by looking. and money before I ftnally realized that most people who claim to be real estate buyers seldom. becauseit's to a buyer's advantageto look at as many deals as possible. ]L lL AoveNcrNG THE Ban ro MToFTELD inding a market for the properties I had under contract was the least difficult of the ffve seiling steps. |ust as sellers are continually able to lure real estate agents into working on unmakeable deals. actually buy anything. I wasted an enormous amount of time.

I found that the vast maiority of public companieslisted in real estate directoriesare focusedon specialty fields such as hotels or nursing homes. it doesn't necessarilymean that it is actively involved in the purchase of properties. if you ask a non-serious buyer about his guidelines for purchasing properties. or making interim mortgageloans. (That is to sa.In fact. becausethey all tend to talk and behavein the samemanner. and/or ageof the property.) So even though the names of prospective real estate buyers are readily available to any real estate agent. I became adept at spotting non-serious buyers. he will most likely tell you that he doesn't have any guidelines and that he's "willing to look at anything.it's wise to invest the time and effort necessary to qualify such buyers before sending them submissions." But the fact is that most serious buyers dohave definite guidelines. becausethey know exactly what they're looking for. Even those who really are interested in purchasingproperties are often "out of the market" at any given time. construction. Over a period of time.no matter how big a real estate company may be. Second. Another tip-off to a non-serious buyer is that he tends to dwell on questions of secondary importance. such as those pertaining to location. How do you spot a non-serious buyer? First.118 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? deal of time and effort talking to wannabe buyers who never buy anything. Any agent who allows himself to get into such a situation ends up feeling like a pingpong ball. you have to understand that even though an individual or company is listed in one or more directoriesas a buyer doesnot mean that he's a serious buyer. they are not currently purchasing properties becausethey either don't have enough cash available or are concentrating their efforts on problems with existing properties. As I . For example. I cannot imagine a more sadistic set of circumstancesthan a well-meaning but naive real estate agent trying to sell an unmakeable deal to a non-serious buyer. with the would-be seller and non-seriousbuyer being the paddles. building their own properties.

It was much easierto get buyers to come to the phone than it as was to get through to owners/ because. becausethey understand the mathematical guidelines for evaluating cash flow-again. I certainly would not have neededto call upon a non-serious buyer. My initial obiectives were to learn what type of propertiesa buyer was interested in and what his general guidelines were for analyzing such properties. .Advancing the BaIl to Midfield 119 previously pointed outr such questions are reasonableand normal. but not until the buyer is ffrst satisfied with the numbers and has decidedthat he has a deffnite interest in purchasing the property. I used a technique similar to the one I used for finding makeable deals. If the numbers don't add up.l v. noted." The compassion is enough to bring tears to one's eyes. the key factor when it comes to evaluating income-producingproperties. by the way. I had plenty of serious buyers who would have been delighted to gobbleup such a deal. it's in the buyer's best interest to work with as many real estate agents as possible. it simply doesn't matter where the property is located. The buyer's boilerplate excuse when the ftnger-cutting ceremony begins is: "The commission is between you (the agentl and the seller. he can take an ostrich attitude toward the subject of the agent'scommission.lt'-l deal where the numbers are too good to be true.xsn/1-n6r am I certain that such an animal really exists). In order to locate serious buyers.sophisticatedbuyers get down to the nuts and bolts right away. since the buyer normally has no commission obligation to the agent. I don't want to get involved. Serious. or how old it is. a non-serious buyer ffgures that there's always a chance that he might run across a ttsfss. In addition to having everything to Sain and nothing to lose by looking at as many deals as possible. how well it's built. I should say. Also. Buyers usually find it all too convenient to hide their heads in the sand when the seller starts to cut off the agent'sfingers at the closing. that if I had ever been lucky enough to work on a so-calledsteal (which. however.

That way." Real-life stories of people ignoring the cries of someone being murdered are well known. So. If something doesn't directly affect their own well-being. most people-particularly when it comes to money-are quick to use the excuse. but commission muggings certainiy are common.I thought it would save a lot of time if he could answer a few quick questions over the phone.I was the mysterious expert from afar who used a spectacular hardcover brochure as his calling card. During the secondcall. however. My initial purposein calling a buyer was to ftnd out what his guidelines were so I would not waste a lot of time sendinghim information about properties that did not meet his criteria. Already possessinga strong posture becauseof the image I had createdfrom the outset/ I was usually able to gain the buyer's cooperation with respectto my request. "I don't want to get involved. the reaction among buyers was that The Tortoise must be "somebody. few real estate agents are murdered at closings." When I called the buyer the second time.I knew that he would not be receptive to answering questions for a real estate agent over the phone. As with sellers. I took the initiative and suggested that I ffrst sendthe buyer some information about myself and my operation. Into the mail went my attentiongetting $5 Earth brochure. I could avoid sending him properties that did not fall within his guidelines. just as I had done with property owners.l2O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? It would be appropriate to describe the buyer's attitude as premeditated apathy. I was not "just another real estate dgerrt't." which. again followed by a telephone call a week later. becauseeven though a buyer was more than happy to receive submissions.el busy people. I developedwhat I referredto as a "Buyer Information Form. True. I explained that since we were both (meaning the buyer and r::. when properly filled out. allowed me to . This was a problem. I explained.For purposesof recording the information. a phenomenon you can observe all around you in iust about every walk of life.

however. I found that the "btJye!'would normally. tell me the truth-or. As an example. he'd quit the business. Who needsanother broker? The differencebetween their modus operandi and mine was that I was actually doing the dirty work not only to locate sellers.000 overchargeby a subcontractor)that if the time ever came when he was no longer willing to give his attention to a $10. Becauseof the shock value of my unusual first question. to say the least. One of the reasonsthat the rich get richer is becauseof the very fact that they arealways interested in acquiring more chips! ln The Art of the DeaI.000item.while these pretenderswere doing nothing more than acting as passivemiddlemen.Advancing the BaIl to Midfield \2\ make a quick determination as to whether or not a property fit a buyer's guidelines. Don' ald Trump said {in alluding to what he believed to be a $10. at the very least. might just happen to be a licensed real estate broker who took other agents' deals (submitted to him becauseof his company's misleading classiftcation as a buyer) and resubmitted them to legitimate buyers in the hopesof sharing commissions. stutter around enough to . many of them were really just brokers posing as buyers. Very cute' Why would the big-shot headof a substantial real estatefirm be interestedin earning a real estatecommission when he seemingly has bigger fish to fry? I found that a common. The president of that company. It askedwhether the buyer was a principal or broker' The reality was that not only were most of the entities who were listed as buyers in real estate directories not serious or currently active buyers. in a reflexive manner.get them under contract/ and necessary closedeals. a large construction company might have been listed as a real estate buyer even though it had never purchased a property. The first question on the form was unusual. naive trait among real estate agents was their failure to understand that no matter how wealthy a principal may be. he is never aboveraking a few more chips off the table for himself.

the buyer managed to get by that all-important ftrst question. .s just human nature. it. Notwithstanding. If.Curiosity seekers inftltrate every businessand every walk of life. And once I became convinced that he was just a broker fronting as a buyer. Most important. Ultimately. it is the buyer with whom he has an ongoing relationship. after a reasonableperiod of time I was able to tell whether he was really a serious buyer or just a curiosity seeker. in fact. primarily interested in acting as a broker. in theory a buyer can purchasea property for a lower price if the seller does not have to pay a commission. however. Whatever the reason. Was it really in the best interest of each of my buyers to see me get paidl After all. I put together a small but valuable hard-core group of serious buyers with whom I developedexcellent personal relationships. Or maybe it. you have to become adept at recognizing their wide variety of intimidating pitches and disguises.s important to learn to weed them out as quickly as possible. It is somewhat of a paradoxthat even though an agent/ in most cases. since the relationship between an agent and buyer has the potential of being long term/ and since a serious buyer wants to look at as many dealsaspossible. the more specific the information I was able to add to his form. and.technically works {or the seller. Or insane. The more deals I submitted to a buyer. I would then breezethrough the rest of the form in a minute or two.it actually is in his best interest for a productive agent to receivehis full commission at every closing. Instead.To do that. learn to write off curiosity seekersas just another one of those great mysteries of life. and the more I questioned him about the dealsthat were not of interesr ro him. I immediately eliminated him from my list of prospectivebuyers. for the sake of efficiency.I strongly suggest that you not waste time trying to ftgure it out. Why would someone choose to be a curiosity seeker?Who knows? Maybe he's bored.n22 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? make it obvious to me that he was.

and heapsof certiffed mail-yet still managedto lose my chiPs. by certified mail. That's why I consideredit to be so important to have a strong posture in the eyesof the buyer aswell as the seller.My objective was to have eachbuyer considerme to be such a valuable resourcethat he would be motivated not to resort to premeditatedapathy when it came time for my commission to be paid.would be for him to insist upon my being paid as a condition of the closing. the deciding factor is how well the agent doeshis job. Evenmoral support was valuable. From out of the blue. BecauseI viewed Charlie as an exceptional prospect. I never quite achieved that status with most of my buyers.. I would like to give you an example of what can happen to an agent when he does not have the support of the buyer.e.because agent him may as who has both the buyer and seller plotting against well avoid the bloodshed (i. Then. but he had recently put out the word that he was interested in purchasingexisting apartment developments. I sent Charlie. my office landlord refused to accept moral support as payment for my monthly an rent). Beforegoing on to the third step of selling. A short time after returning from Florida.however. The ideal. of course. the asking price for which was $10 million.Advancing the BaIl to Midfielil 123 When it comes to a buyer's determining how valuable a continuing relationship with an agent is. his own) and not even bother to show up at the closing. I received a call . The buyer ("Charlie Cheet") was primarily a developer of large apartment projects. better moral support than outright apathy. In other words. although the majority of them did give me their moral support {which was nice. but. to my dismay. It was a situation in which I had all the legal tools on my side-a real estatelicense in the state where the property was located. Unfortunately. I paid a personalvisit to him at his office in Florida for the purpose of ftnding out what his guidelineswere. a presentation on a group of apartment properties in Houston. a curious thing happened. a signed commission agreementwith the owner.

f l even went to the expenseof flying Larry to Houston to inspect the properties.t realize that no matter how much experienceyou may have. every time I asked Larry what the status of the deal was. I did not present the information to Charlie Cheet. There is.associated with" are almost always an early warning sign that a commission heist is on the horizon. he assuredme that he and Charlie Cheet were "working on the numbers" and would soon give me an answer.124 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? from a total stranger ("Larry Lyar. This went on for months... I did a ffrst-class job in gathedng all the data on the properties and putting together a professionalpresentation. Perhapsby this time I was a bit overconfidentand didn.. He said that in return charlie gave him a participation in any properties acquired through him.. which states: Assume nothing! I woke up one day to ffnd that my assumption had been en- ..1 who had the responsibility of reviewing deals for him. to his. Larry emphasizedthat he did not work for Charlie as an employee.unemployed flake'. no matter how clever or different it may be: It is always designedto separate you from your chips. however. (This now-puzzling decision gave me the distinction of demonstrating that I could do a perfect imitation of Homer Simpson yearsbefore he was invented. That mistake led to the Assumption Theory.l who told me that he was "associated with" Charlie Cheet.Larry Ly at. {another red-flag word that often translatesinto . I was not yet sophisticated enough to understandthat vague expressions such as ...but as an independent . until I ftnally assumedthat Charlie Cheet was not a seriousbuyer. However. there.associate. a common thread that runs through every new gimmick..and spent a great deal of time wining and dining him. Following our trip.associa but te. As always.s always another vile creature lurking in the depths of the fungle who is capable of coming up with yet another new gimmick. the apartment-builder-turned-buyer.

Both Charlie Cheet and the seller claimed that they had been talking to each other about the properties before I had registered Charlie with the seller. his position. (At no time during our negotiations had either of them even hinted at such a thing. Though Charlie sugar-coatedhis words. of broker who got course. Any time that the buyer and seller are willing /em-extract the lesson to-lie in concett. he intended to stick it to me and not give me credit for the buyer I had brought to him. (Is it starting to sound familiar to some memorable experienceout of your own past?l . he was actually siding with the seller. Why did I not sue Charlie Cheet when I had all three legal by Because this time I had a pretty good tools in my possession? understanding of practical law (as opposed to theoretical law)' Consider the following: 1. insisting that he had never authorized Larry to say that he was his associateor in any way represented him. Charlie Cheet refused to accept any responsibility for Larry Lya{s actions.| So not only was the buyer not giving me his moral support.was nothing more than a blue-suede-shoe a commission out of the deal without even having to split it with the scaly guy who had presentedit to him and who had done all the work. notwithstanding the indisputablefacts. Shame on me. was that it was my tough luck if I had been taken in by a master serial liar. Charlie not only was a serious buyer. As you might have guessed. By contrast/my treacherousType Number Two professorin the Missouri Massacrehad at least had the decencyto let me know early on that.Advancing the BalI to Midfreld I25 tirely wrong. it's time to fold Iearnedand go take a disinfectant bubble bath. he had already closed the Houston deal without my knowledge! Larry Lyat. plain and simple. not real closewith Charlie Cheet and Larry Lyar anymore. I was a foolish-looking reptile who had I'm gotten caught in a classic sting. 2. let alone made an issue of it.

There was a strong rumor that the seller of the properties might have to declarebankruptcy (apparentlythe proceedsof . No matter how sophisticated or experiencedyou may be... Latry Lyar. this one fell into a category known as . it. 4.. and in the meantime I would not only have to come up with bushels of cash to pay onerous legal fees and court costs.in_ cluding the seller) had succeededin putting me through the wringer.e. The fleasI got from Larry were big enoughto pick up my wallet and throw it down a sewer.The Big Lie.In |ungle terms. Because the time of involved in bringing a casesuch as this to trial. of never forget Businessworldfungle Rule No. and Charlie. 5. I was realistic enough to know that there was enough confusion surrounding the facts (such as the involvement of Charlie's Cheet's "associate. the guy in the wrong almost always has the advantage. Our court system is an important weapon that fungle creatures use to offset Tortoise-like legal tools.s willingness to side with the seller) to give somesmart litigation at_ torney sufficient ammunition to cloud the issue for a judge or iury.126 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? 3. Even though it was obvious to me that this fungle trio (i. I also would have to invest considerabletime and energyand be further aggravated in the process. upstanding young lad that he was.After some cursory investigation.s impossible to be fully prepared to cope with a |ungle creature who is willing to take it to the limit and resort to The Big Lie.. Regardless what legal tools you may have on your side. 6. Larry Lyar. in turn insisted that I had somehow misunderstood him and that he had never told me that he was associatedwith the buyer.. l: If you insist on sleeping with big dogs.you're guaranteed to end up with big fleas.. I concluded that it would take anywhere from three to ftve yearsfor the matter to be resolvedin court.

This being the case. In playing-field terms. I considered myself to have accomplished sales step number two: locating a market for my product. My lesson in the Houston deal again confirmed that even though the buyer doesnot normally pay the salesman'scommission. energy. you lose your case-Pefiod. and. I concluded that his imminent ffnancial demisewas a definite possibility. if you lose your case in the fungle. it could prove to be a chiplessvictory. once I had obtained a product to sell and had at least one seriousbuyer whose Buyer Information Form indicated that he was a good prospect for the kind of property I was offering. it could have made a major differencein the outcome. it simply did not add up to a smart gamble of my time.Advancing the BalI to Midfield 127 the sale were not enough to bail him out of his troubles). I had advanced the ball to perhaps midfield-which meant I still had a long way to go to reach the end zone. after investigating the rumor. Notwithstanding the Houston fiasco. Plain and simple. I had abeadylearned that the fungle has its own set of rules for meting out iustice-something about survival of the fittest. I recognizedthat even if I won in court. Had the buyer of the Houston deal been on my side. or some such thing.and money to pursue the matter. When I weighed all the facts. . it was important to develop good relationships with my buyers.

not only becauseit gave me credibility with both buyers and sellers. it was of prime importance to me to perform at a high level.through experience/ to develop commission agreements that became increasingly sophisticated. I likewise developed a series of .acHrNG THE OppoNENT's 2O-Yeno LINE gain.Crreprn "I2 Rr. I felt my performancewould be a major factor in my favor.properry Data Forms" to fit every conceivabletype of situation. I worked out a system for gathering property information and preparing presentations that not only was detailed. but unique in concept. My information-gathering system made it possible for a person with very little real estate knowledge to obtain the pertinent facts. but should I ever have to take legal action to collect a commission. 128 .. |ust as I had managed.

becausein the event I should have to take legal action to collect a commission. I would call the prospective buyer to see if he had an interest in further discussingthe property. I would review my Buyer Information Forms (discussedin the previous chapter| and decidewho the best prospects were for that particular property. It was a good example of recognizing and acknowledging reality-the reality that I might have to take legal action to collect a commission. almost always underprotected' About a week after I sent a presentation by certified'mail. certified-mail slips could be the deciding factor. If I never neededto use the certified-mail slips. no matter how hard I might try to avoid becoming embroiled in a lawsuit' Again. my approachwas to hope for the best but assume the worst (suste' nance of a positive attitude through the assumption of a negative result). all the better. in fact. If he was not interested. I would then implement my third legal tool: certiffed mail' Certifted mail was a potential savior. then note the reasonson his Buyer .I was. I would try to find out precisely why. I guessyou could say that I was successfulin cloning myself' After my secretary had gathered all the information. Hence. I made it an ironclad rule to send every presentation by certified mail to all legitimate prospects. You may think that I was a bit paranoid. when the presentation was completed. which made it possible for me to make my exit after obtaining a signed commission agreementfrom the property owner. but a certified-mail slip is like a gun: When you need it.ReachingtheOpponent'sZ}'YardLine !29 I taught several of my secretarieshow to use these forms quickly and efffciently. then. you need it bad and you need it fast. becauseit freed me to work on other deals' To an extent. she would return to my office and submit her completed form to another personwho would then use her material to preparea professional presentation of the property. Leaving one of my secretaries behind to gather the property information was a big step forward. but future events proved that no matter to what extremes I went to protect myself in the Jungle.

Why? Because. I handled it smoothly. it would be clear evidence to all concerned that I was the major force not onry in bringing the buyer and seller together. a steady flow of informa_ tion moving between buyer and seller was of no small importance. when it comes to sales of or deal-making.among other things.without hesitation I indicated that I thought rt was an excellent idea (even though I really thought it was a horrible idea). but as a constant reminder to all the principals involved that you are/ were instrumental in making the deal happen. Long-distancetelephone calls were also important. or vice versa. However. Never forget that your phone bill is a permanent. To bring this about. because they became a matter of record and.re in. I would immediately register his name with the owner via my new best friend-certified mail. Given that my primary objective was to make certain that I received my full commission if the deal were to close. I subtly maintained control of the situation . My next objective was to get the prospectivebuyer to meet with the seller and inspect his property. but in getting the deal closed. irrefutable record that has the power to destroy that most devastating of all fungle weapons-The Big Lie. if necessary. Regardless what businessyou.could help to substantiate the degree of my involvement in a deal. it's critical that you to build a clear record of your involvement-not just to use as a last resort in court. which would have denoted weakness. If a buyer told me that he would like to speak directly with the seller. Rather than displaying nervousnessover such a request. Becauseof my strong posture/ I was normally able to keep the lines of communication flowing through me rather than around me-a psychologicalmust when it comes to maintainrng one's posture.13O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Information Form. But if he indicated that he did have an interest in the propert. I focused on getting as much relevant information as possible flowing back and forth between the buyer and seller.

precisely how the request would be handled. whichever the casemay have been. becauseI knew that private communication between two carnivores could be the first step toward eliminating my anticipated payday. being bold and taking the initiative addedto my aheadystrong posture. As a bonus.I didn't need to worry about that possibility untii I had the buyer interested enoughin the property to be willing to spend the time and money to travel to the seller's city' My feeling about getting the buyer to inspect the property was very much like that of a life insurance salesmanwho feels that he's three-quartersof the wa)' toward making a sale if he can fust persuadethe prospective client to take a physical examination. I would be asking for my ffrst posture puncture.he could determine his initial interest based on a handful of figures he had received up to that point. . Posture maintenance is a delicate matter. no sale was going to take place until the buyer made such a trip.I always tactfully and subtly tried to block any direct conversationbetween buyer and seller. There was only one thing more dangerousthan the buyer and seller talking to each other over the telephone.Reachingthe Opponent's2D-YardLine 131 by telling (rather than asking) the buyer or seller. Obviously. I then metaphorically thought of myself as being in scoringposition. that / would set up a conferencecall among the three of us. and that was without my being present. If a buyer was motivated enough to fly to a distant city to meet the seller and inspect his property. but there was no way that he was going to get serious about a purchaseuntil he had personally met the seller and staredat a few bricks. No matter how slight that first puncture may be. Of {Gasp!)their meeting face-to-face course. For this reason. Rather. I knew all too well that if I allowed the buyer and seiler to talk to eachother without my being on the phone. Sure. The key here was that I neither hesitated nor askedanyone'spermission. it's malignant in nature.with conffdence and authorit.I respondedimmediately and stated.

I could usually come up with the answer in a matter of minutes. she got so good at it that she often was able to obtain the answer to a buyer's legal question in 15 minutes or so. fee-building attorney.t arrogant about it. and most other documents involved in real estate closings.s decision to visit the owner's property was to continually impress upon him my belief that all his questions could be answered quickly if he would meet with the seller and personally inspect his property.And. If the buyer was really serious. whereas it might have taken a week or two to track down the seller's accountant to obtain an answer. mortgage notes/ deeds of trust/ mortgage-commitment letters. which made it possible to avoid waiting a week or two to get the answerfrom some lazy. but from my stand_ point she was merely saving everyone time and money by finding the information the buyer had requested. she returned phone calls promptly. . there were legal questions about the mortgage.132 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? In this regard. Nirvana for an enrrepreneur. she wasn. Each time I obtained another answer for him. negligent. and she didn. instead of spending several days trying to track down the seller's attotneyt then waiting several more days for him to get back to me with an answer/I would un_ dertake to researchthe neededinformation myself. I did two things to expedite the prospective buyer's decision to get on an airplane.my gentle. Of course. I reemphasized the point that a trip was sure to savehim a lot of time in the long run. for example.It was important to take matters into my own hands and remove as much responsibility as possible from everyone else. to boot. some lawyers might protest that she was violating the government-enforced legal monopoly laws regarding the practice of law. If . if an accounting question cameup. First. I spoon-fed him any and all information he requested. I found that by taking matters into my own hands by having one of my people work on it. she conveyed the information in an intelligible manner. I actually trained one of my secretariesto read mortgages. Similarly.t bili at the rate of $200 an hour. The second thing I did in an effort to hastenthe buyer.

Reachingthe Opponent'szD-YatdLine X33 repeated suggestionwould usually result in a commitment to make the trip. I always Rgured that I might get there a week. so I had a big incentive to keep pushing everything forward as quickly as possible. for example. Consequentl.That's becausetime brings into play the Fid' dle Theory. Nero fiddied while Rome burned. This reality is as true in a love relationship or any other aspectof life as it is in a business deal. Experiencehad taught me that it was critical to get the buyer to personally inspect the property at the earliestpossibledate. I tried to undertake as much responsibility as I could. As The Tortoise.the one I had in Tampa years earlier-showing up at . or the buyer may close another deal and decide that he doesn't want to make any more purchasesfor awhile. Never forget that time is your enemy when it comes to closing deals. becausetime is always against the person who is trying hardest to get the deal closed. and not rely on the seller'smotivation to sell or the buyer's motivation to buy. the greater the odds that it will nevet close. The only thing that I could be certain would never change was my desireto collect a commission. which states: The longer you fiddLe atound with a deal. or even a minute earlier.ddling around. The Fiddle Theory and the Tortoise and Hare Theory ftt together like the proverbial hand and glove. an hout. the mortgagelender may suddenly decide that it wants an unreasonable fee in exchangefor allowing the property to be transferred to another owner/ the seller's wife may talk him out of going through with the sale. hoping that the other guy would momentarily relax.Why? Becausecircumstancesconstantly change. I had always trudged ahead relentlessly. which experience had taught me could mean the difference between making or losing a sale. Speaking of experiences. a day.In a real estatedeal. By not fi. and too many salesmen entrepreneursdo likewise as they watch their deals go up in and smoke. The only motivation I could count on to remain constant was my motivation to collect a commission.

This was of great importance.Now my posture was stron& becauseI possessed . At best.000 commission in cash-was always in the forefront of my mind to keep me focusedon the importance of the Fiddle Theory. Whenever possible.our relationship to the point where the buyer would at least feel uncomfortable being a party to a closing in which a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-tortoise was an entertaining side attraction.my knowledgehad usually been more than sufftcient.it gave me the opportunity to developa more personalrelationship with the buyer and hopefully inspire in him a senseof loyalty to me. I would make arrangementsto travel to the buyer's city ahead of time so he and I could . One way or another.t resulted in big paydays. becauseonce he made the decision to invest in a trip.s decision to inspect the property. At a minimum. If I was unable to accompany the prospective buyer on his flight to the city where the property was located.scity. which is why I took the initiative in all aspectsof the negotiations. I wanted to make certain that I was always positioned between the buyer and seller. I often was able to speed up the buyer. of course.review the details of the deal on the plane" on the way to seller. In previous years. but becauseof my weak posture. In reality.134 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? the bank ffrst thing in the morning and collecting my $15. I had ulterior motives for making such an outof-the-way trip. it hadn. I wanted to nurture. I did the next best thing: I met his plane at the gate when it landed. I wanted to make certain that the buyer and seller did not meet before I arrived. and by continually suggesting to the buyer that he could probably have all his questions answered at one time if he would personally visit the owner. Second. First. I was hoping to make my relationship with the buyer so solid that he would refuse to go through with a closing if the seller started to reach for my chips. I knew I was getting close to scoring territory. By assuming as much responsibility as possible for answering questions and gathering information..

It's where the defensegets nasty and the play gets ugly. becauseI could see the blood of intimidatees who had daredto try to scorein previous games. becausemy obiective proved to be nothing more than naive and wishful thinking. however. I had successfully accomplishedsalesstep number three: implementation of a marketing strategy. No doubt about it. If everything went as planned. moving the ball those last 20 yards is a real gut check. You might say that The Tortoise portrayed Mary's Little Lamb-everywhere the buyer went.rst. I personally accompaniedhim to his departure gate at the airport. a tortoise has to be preparedto leave it all on the field in order to crossthe goal line' .) From start to finish I did everything within my power to see to it that the buyer and seller were never together without my being present. I was sure to go' When all the buyer's questions had been answered and a deal had been structured. My objective at these buyerseller meetings was to display so much knowledge about the property and the closing of the deal that even the seller would be to embarrassed challenge my right to a commission. I never left town ff. Not until the buyer's plane had pulled safely away from the gate did I shed my lambskin and revert back to being a tortoise. At that point I considered myself to be in scoring position-at about the opponent's 2O-yard line' I knew I was getting close.ReachingtheOpponent's2D'YardLine 135 both image power and legal power. and the buyer and seller verbally committed to moving forward with a deal. sellers always challengeagents'commissions. As most everyone knows. (If you're chuckling and shaking your head from side to side over that last comment/ you're starting to get it. even if it meant missing my last flight out and having to stay overnight.

. but I can't seem to put my finger on what it is.EH'il "I could swear you look different than when I saw you in New York.'.

the seller had not been able to ffnd a serious buyer for his property prior to my entering the picture' Then.It was like magic. a strange thing would occur: Would-be purchaserssuddenly started beating a path to the seller'sdoor. Infact. I took on the aura of a clairvoyant by assuring the seller. For months' even years.CHepr'. suddenly. well in advance. I figured out a way to use it to my benefft.13 SconrNc nvariably. it seemed as though people were standing in line to buy his proiect after we had alreadyverbally agreedto the terms of a deal' This phenomenonoccurredwith such regularity that I eventually came to count on its happeningin every deal. shortly after the buyer and seller arrived at a general agreementon the terms of a sale. once I recognizedit as a predictablepattern. 137 .that once I found a serious buyer for him.

The Boy-Girl Theory is one of the most ingrained of all instincts governing human relationships. I cautioned the seller not to take such belated offers seriously.because/ again. It doesn't get any more basic than this. they would have made offers a long time ago.. the easiestway for a guy to land a girl {or vice versa)is to "play it cool. In high school. human nature is such that he rs . Beware:The samepsychology appliesin business. There are very few adults.13E To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? "wannabe buyers" would start banging on his door. when phantom offers began to make their predictable appearance. Consequentl. the minimonster probably just knows how to play it cool. Women love men who play hard to get. men love women who play hard to get.he can virtually assurethat he won't land the object of his affection if he salivates on his shirt every time she walks by.tstop in high school or college.. had a legitimate interest in his property. It's a phenomenon that can be explainedby the Boy-Girl Theory. this syndrome doesn.s life. the psychology behind it affects every area of one. In contrast. It must surely have been in effect the day intelligent man first appearedon earth.becauseif these soon-to-appear "buyers.No marter how successfula person may be. or beyond. And we accuseanimals of acting only on instinct. coilege. servedonly to add to my alreadystrong posture. It's important to analyzewhat causedthis sudden barrageof phony offers to appear each time I was about to close a sale. it stops when life ends on planet Earth.. When you seea guy who looks like a compressedversion of Frankenstein.sMonster walking down the street with a gorgeous woman on his arm/ you can't help but wonder what she could possibly see in him.s mind that I knew whereof I spoke. IJnfortunately. and doesnot want what he can have. What you are probably witnessing is the result of the BoyCirl Theory-physical shortcomings notwithstanding.be_ it cause it reafffrmed in the buyer. if any. which states: Everyone wants what he can't have. who have not played the boy-girl game in high school.

Frankie..\." . you'te suchabtute. / T lt "Oooh.

It cost them absolutely nothing to make verbal offers that soundedmore attractive than mine.the acquisition of a hundred-million-dollar company-or a marriage partner.s about to get married.e. It. invariably it would lead to a corollary problem: Not only did other buyers suddenly start imagining that they wanted the property. I could usually count on a herd of these characterscrawling out from under their rocks as a closing beganto look more like a probability than a possibility. but coming up with cash was quite another matter.smind was all too open to . it becamethe woman who was too available. but often the seller would begin thinking that he did not want my buyer. Because this reaiity.deal. In most cases. much like the gal who. This second phenomenon can be explained by the BetterDeal Theory. The apartment development that had been on the market for months or years was about to become a bride.' it's human nature for him to wofty that there may be a better deal down the road. course/this suddensurgeof offers amounted of to nothing more than a panic reaction on the part of felrow real estate agentsand buyers. the seller. at the last moment/ if he might not be missing out on a better deal somewhere down the road. vacuum sweepers. which states:Before an individual closesa ..s an almost uncontrollable urge for a person to wonder. Since other agentshad absolutely noth_ ing to lose by inundating an owner withverbaloffers. because it was a deal that was now in hand. it would soon becomeunavailable-the more other buyers. An agreedupon selling price is about as cool as a property can play it.\40 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? inclined to want the deai he can't have and not want the deal he canhave. insurance.. once he had a written offer. psychologically speaking. both serious and non-serious. Becauseof this instinct.. Once the Boy-Girl Theory took effect.soffer. It's a theory that holds true regardless whether the dealinof volves real estate. imagined that they wanted to buy the property. the nearerone of my dealsgot to of a closing-i.

Then it was put-up-or-shut-up time-time for the army of mystedous buyers to put up their money or crawl back under their rocks. I'm happy to report that rarely did they do any putting up.real estate agents and would-be buyercl hated to see the property being taken out of circulation didn't matter to the seller once he realizedthat they were unable or unwilling to come up with cash when my buyer's chips were already on the table. my obiectivewas to do everything within my power to bring the deal as quickly as possible to the point where the money was on the table and the papers were ready to be signed. under normal circumstances. . and usually it was fust a matter of time until the seller would begin to question whether there really was a better deal down the road. He was ripe for these buyers on white horses who came prancing in at the eleventh hour. the Boy-Girl Theory would begin to have a reverseeffect in my favor. To combat the negative effects of the Boy-Girl Theory and the Better Deal Theory.Scoring t4l the last-minute verbal offers that were sure to be directed at him. So when real estate agentscame scurrying to him with offers from mysterious clients at the last moment. As a result.he probably would have quickly dismissed as having no substance. And when that happened.The fact that the babblers in the bleachers (read. because a seriousbuyer does not leave his cash lying around forever. the more likely the buyer would begin to show signs of having second thoughts himself about the closing.The more a seller hesitated. Once my buyer's chips were on the table. becausethe thought had already crossedhis mind that if he closedmy deal.it tended to causethe seller to better appreciate the bird in the hand-the deal he might lose if he didn't get on the stick and get it closed. he might miss out on an opportunity for a better price on his property iust around the next bend. Greed is a great catalyst for allowing one's wishes to override reality. he wanted to believe that their offers were real. the seller would be much more inclined to take seriously an offer that.

Just as I had done in implementing my techniques for finding deals.An extra week.The Fiddle Theory was always foremost in my mind. becauseonce the buyer and seller spelled out the terms of a deal. If I was able to correctly analyzeand satisfy the basic objectives and objections of the buyer and seller-especially the basic conflict over price-I then focused on the sfrortestroute to a closing: Taking it upon myself to essume as much responsibility as possible.there would be no need for an agent. an extra day.my entire office staff was available 24 hours a day. I always tried to analyzewhat the real objectives of the buyer and seller were.142 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? To bring the deal to the put-up-or-shut-upstageas quickly as possible. or even an extra hour might mean the differencebetween making or blowing the sale. There was no way that I was going to allow my commission to be tied to the abilities and/or motivation of the buyer or seller to get things done.nor to the incompe- . If there were no basic conflict of interest between the buyer's and seller. becauseit has been my experience that parties to a deal very often are not consciously aware of what their real objectives and objections are. Two objectives of which I could always be certain. as well as what their key obiections were. I knew that time was of the essence. however.sobjectives. might purposelysuppresstheir true objectives and/or objections. becauseof a variety of ulterior motives-or out of pure embarrassmenteither the buyer or seller. were that the buyer wanted to buy the property for the lowest possible price and the seller wanted to sell the property for the highest possible price-the epitome of a conflict of interest. I say analyze rather thanfind out. or both. This is precisely what selling is all about. From the moment the buyer and seller verbally agreedto the terms of a sale.The better an agentis at being able to resolve this inherent conflict between buyer and seller. Also. I tried not to depend upon the performance of any of the other parties. the better his chances of earning (though not necessarilyreceiving) his commission.

if you aspire to a high success to getting results.But that last yard is almost always . accountants. take control! in I{ all went well. which might save three or four days. And to board an airplane and hand-carry a document to someonewas total insanity. and droppedit in a mail box at the end of the day. or tence. the stakeswere big enoughand the odds in favor of a closing high enoughto make it worthwhile to risk significant time and capital in an effort to ward off unnecessarydelays.which would alleviate the needto resort to such rash action. Instead. OnIy a tortoise would be crazy enough to do such a thing-and I often did. If someone requested some information from them.I consideredsome documents to be so important that. put it in an envelope. Think of yourself as a great quarterback:When the game gets down to those final minutes. if a big enough commission was at stake. was unthinkable. was quite simple. To pick up the telephone and call the information in to the party requesting it. Life.I rate when it Plain and simple. then fly to another city to hand-deliver them to the appropriateparty. I recognizedearly on that documents were a key element in getting a deal closed. you must shake the habit of assuming comes that someone-particularly someone whom you do not know very well-will seeto it that important details are taken care of. I would personally fly to a city to pick them up have one of my secretaries from one of the parties.applied a first-classpostagestamp. Once I was inside the 2O-yardline. I succeeded advancingthe ball to the oneyard line. apatht and/or negligenceof their secretaries. get in the habit of taking matters into your own hands and moving swiftly once the goal line is in sight. (Little did I know that a gentleman by the name of Fred Smith was about to descendupon the Milky Way Galaxy with a long-overdueservice called FederalExpress. My techniques often astonished the employeesof both the buyer and seller. the point at which the chips were on the table and the documents ready to be signed. they gathered it at their leisure.Scoring t43 attorneys. for them.

. There we were-the buyer. not Cookieman. Lo and behold. and me-sitting in a room together. Simply put. Predictably. or would this be one of those rarebut difftcult challengesfor him? Legalman would immediately begin to implement the "hewe-I" evolution strategy. The first and most awesomeobstaclewas the Attorney Goal Line Defense. it was entirely Legalman'sdeal.The buyer and seller had been reducedto bothersome but necessary bystandersto Legalman's closing. Would he be able to destroy this deal without working up a sweat. not Plasticman . there were stiil two potential obstaclesthat could keep me {rom scoring. it was now he and Legalman who were making the decisions. the seller. .At that point. in a galling display of doublespeak. . Finally-you guessedit-Legalman. there is no way that any attorney worth his salt is going to just sit back and allow a deai to close without at least putting up a ffght.but he certainlv could seeno reason .e. My education at Screw U. Now. would mag1cally transform we into 1 {as in Legalmanl. if the buyer and seller were nothing more than necessarybut bothersome bystandersin the eyes of Legalman.Then. can you imagine how he viewed The Tortoise? He might have consideredme to be bothersome. who should appearon the scene? Not Superman . had taught me that when I arrived in town for the long-awaited closing. it was none other than-alert the media-Legalmanl Onto the fteld he would trot.No NFL team can match the Attorney Goal Line Defense in intensity. "Would this be an easyone to kill?" he wonderedto himself. the deal ready to close. in a relatively short period of time. chips on the table. the word le would subtly evoive into we (i. Some things in life are inevitable. flapping his Brooks Brothers cape in the wind and cackiing as he openedhis briefcasefull of little deal-killing goodies. From that point on. . the selier was no longer in full control of his destiny.At the outset/ he would talk in terms of he (the seller)in discussingthe property and the closing. the seller and Legalman).144 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? the most brutal. and Legalman's"he-we-I" evolution strategyis one of those inevitabilities. Nay. . at that point.

-.--\\| t '+-Jt L-AtJ /-l*1_ -----t : l I "I haven't given up a score in the last eight deals. and I don't intend to start now.aa: --_ Ltrt -.." .

)The fact is that Legalman's {inancial survival dependsupon his ability to kiil deals. businessmen. After all. .146 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? why I was necessary. A Phi Beta Kappa friend of mind once told me that during his three years of law school. . With that kind of training.) I knew that Legalman would expect me to come crashing through the middle of the line to try to pick up that last yard. while Legalman'straining had speciffcally prepared him to keep green upstarts like me from moving the ball that last yard. he could become an endangered species. if every deal closed smoothl. maybe he is a carnivore. Honesty compels me to add that I do not blame Legalman for his deal-killing ways. and he preys upon deals. why shouldn't we expect Legalmanto be a deal assassin? Bringing him into a deal is like throwing him a piece of raw meat. . a result.{I'm not sure whether that makes him a carnivore or vegetarian. Talk about a conflict of interest. anywayl How dare I not be intimidated? In order to understandhow incredible such a situation was for Legalman to digest. creatures whose survival depends upon the killing of their prey. Anyone who cannot fully graspthe reality that the primary function of Legalman is to kill deals would be wise not to step foot in the fungle. and entrepreneurs. He said he could not remember a single coursethat was focused on how to solve problems. (Hmmm . After all. My singular focus was to get the ball over the goal line.we're talking about a literal life-or-deathmatter here. when Legalman made his iniAs tial entrance into the deal. you have to appreciatethe fact that there are many natural predators in the |ungle. given that his law-school training speciftcally prepared him {or the life of a predator. wasn't I "just a real estate broker?" What was I even doing at the closing. the emphasis was almost entirely on how to find problems.Where Legalman is concerned. One of those predators is Legalman. and the creatureswho spawn those dealsare more often than not salesmen. he was usually taken aback by my strong posture.

" I would then proceed to state {not ask) a number of ways that we (not just Legalman) would (not could) handle (nor solve) that particular point lagain. I'm glad you brought it up. So. I was able to throw Legalman off balance and thereby weaken his defenses. When I spoke. If there was one thing I had to give Legalman credit for. he would ride roughshod over me. If I adopted the "Yes.He was totally unprepared to deal with someone who seemed to not even acknowledge his dealkilling treachery. but normal "points" that had to be "handled" as a natural part of every deal. "That's a very good point (not probiem). to cross him up. Problems did not represent obstacles to a closing.Irealizedthat it would be a fatal mistake for me to cower.nessemy way over the goal line. Straight up the middle looked far too treacherous to attempt. I therefore displayeda calm. matter-of-fact attitude. Such an attitude was confusing to Legalman. The big fella with the cape is hard to intimidate. not . With a well-executed end sweep/ or perhaps a screen pass to the outside. By acting unconcernedabout each deal-killing goody that he pulled from his bag.becausehe expectedme to display the typical real estateagent'spanic mode.Scoring I4V and that he would set his defensesaccordingly. it was with an air that implied that I had no concerns about anything. By the sametoken. I would usually try to fi. I knew that once he sensedweaknesson my part. I knew that Legalman would knock the ball from my graspand most likely recoverthe fumble. As Legalman injected one problem after another into the deal. I would say things like. I never tried to push Legalman or get tough with him. it was his killer instinct. I might just be able to make that last yard untouched. Your Highness" attitude that so many of my comradesin the pack had been intimidated into accepting when dealing with attorneys. In other words. becausehis law-school training continually reinforced in his brain the notion that no one merits a higher station in life than lawyers. and that a ciosing was a foregone conclusion.

148 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? problem). IJnfortunately. I guess that's it.|ust businessasusual. After handling some of Legalman'sbest shots in this manner. Meaning it was time for him to reassume control of . With the psychology of the . Hopefully. in the event Legalman held his ground. In the most casual mannerf I would say something to the effect of. About the only thing that seemedto work was to raise the seller's fear of losing the deal that was on the table. I implemented the Boy-Girl Theory as a last resort. However. begin to tire and conclude that the long lunches.there was still hope if I could instill fear in the seller'sheart that he was about to lose the deal.his deal. it was a war of attrition." When it got to that point. and that the only purpose of our all being present was to work together to "handle" the normal "points" that are inherent in every closing. In other words. then. "Well. if I were lucky. time to stand up and let it be known that he was once again calling the shots. golf games. It looks as though we fust won't be able to close this one. not many sellershave the nerve to take such bold action. Legalman had never been up against a tortoise before. My attitude was that it was assumed by everyone involved that there was going to be a closing.and martini hours he was missing by trying to keep this strange reptile from traveling one lousy yard were not worth the effort. But never did I directly challenge Legalman. he might. he would ease up just enough to allow me to nudge the nose of the ball over the goal Iine. it was time for the seller to fold his hand or become a big boy. Old standby "problems" such as needing some obscure document from the mortgage lender-problems that Legalman had always counted on to stall a closing for at least a week or two in order to give the Fiddle Theory time to take effect-were dissolvedbefore his very eyes. I accomplished this by merely dispatching one of my secretaries crosscountry to pick up the document in question and hand-carry it to the party who requestedit. So if there was no other way to handle Legalman's Goal-Line Defense.

becausehis client was in the businessof buying properties. of course. chancesthat he will not allow Legalmanto sabotage Even though an agent has no dfuect control over this factor. Further.eld. Before leaving the subject of the Attorney GoaI Line Defense. Which gets back to the strategy o{ working hard to find makeable deals rather than working on a lot of unmakeable dealsin the hopes that one will accidentally close. he does. the more successyou'll have in keeping Legaiman off the playing ff. I should point out that there is one factor that is even more important than all the techniques I have already describedfor overcoming Legalman'sbag of little deal-killing goodies.If the buyer was a seriouspro- .the buyer's attorney (as opposedto the seller's attorney) seldom causedme problems. the better the but the more desperate over this f. Surprisingly.The factor I am referring to is financial desperation on the part of the seller.aetor. have indirect control by virtue of his having the power to choose which deals he works on. it's important to graspthe reality that Legalman has been. In reality. In summation. you are at a decided advantage if you do possess such an understanding. a real estate agent has no direct control the selier.Scoring t49 Boy-Girl Theory thrashing about in his nimble brain. the major obstacle-to closing deals. The more financial problems the seller has. he might just be willing to commit heresyand ffnd the nerve to stand up to Legalman. it is essential for you to developtechniquesfor protecting your dealsfrom the clutches of this deal-thirsty predator if you aspireto a high degreeof success in the |ungle. Unfortunately. Since the general population will never understand that an attorney is nothing more than a college graduatewith a special piece of paper on his wall that grants him a monopolistic right to practice intimidation on civilians.is. and always will be a major obstacle-and. the closing. more often than not. the degreeof financial desperation on the part of the seller is the single most impottant factor in determining how makeable a deal is.

which could include any one of a number of surprises. fust as I forewarned the seller that there would be a sudden surge of phony offers once he had a verbal agreement with my buyer.his attorney knew all too well that it was in his best interest to leave his bag of deal-killing goodiesat home and do everything possible to help his client close sales. a real estate agent needs to come to grips with the reality that no matter how many times the seller assures him that all the information he has submitted is correct-that there are no hidden surprises-there will be severalmajor.and many more vacanciesthan the seller's offtcial "rent roll" had indicated. Of course. I always tried to soften the blow of the inevitable dirty laundry by preparing the buyer for it ahead of time.friends.Some of the more common of these surpriseswere undisclosed. I createdan atmosphere of expectancy rather than surprise with regardto the inevitable ap- .major liens againstthe property (even though the seller had repeatedly assuredthe buyer that none existed). and employees until after a closing takes place.This not only helped to mentally preparethe buyer for the seller's inevitable dirty laundry.) Sooner or later. The other obstacle that usually confronted me at the oneyard line was the seller's dirty laundry. but again made me appearto be very sawy when the inevitable problems arose. the mortgage holder's refusal to allow the property to be transferred from the seller to the buyer (even though the seller had assured the buyer that the mortgageehad already given approval for the transfer). {To this day.l5O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? fessional whose main line of business was the purchase of income-producing properties. a favorite trick of sellers is to ftll vacant apartments with relatives.I used the same kind of semanticsI did when turning Legalman's problems into normal "points" that had to be "handled" as a part of every closing. so too did I warn the buyer that he could count on many negative surprisesas we neared a closing. undisclosed items of a deal-killing magnitude that surface as a sale nears the closing stage.

Scoring 15tr pearance of the seller's dirty laundry. After all the time. contingent-payment sale could satisfy both sides. all the effort I had expendedto move tion on the . I tried to seeif either a sale-leaseback else failing. In addition. I found that most sophisticatedbuyers had enoughexperienceto tealize that a seller's closing surprisesare simply part of the game. no matter how well I managed to finesse my way past Legalman. hoping to createa sense of fear over the possibility that he might lose the " girl. or If that didn't work. My objective was to just try to eiiminate as much of the shock value of the dirty laundry as possible. locating a buyer. implementing a marketing method. However. I still had to complete the fffth and final selling step o{ selling: getting paid. it was all for naught if I didn't get enough to commit an infraccredit for the score. As a result. But even if I managed to get past both Legalman and the seller's dirty laundry. If the problems could be resolvedby sending someoneto anI other city to pick up a document or administer some persuasion." Of course. errergy.there was always the hope that I could persuadethe seller to lower his selling price enough to adjust for the dirty laundry on that appeared the sceneat the last moment.All my last resort was to againfall back on the psychology of the BoyGirl Theory.and money I had spent in obtaining the product.If I was careless touchdown play. As I pointed out in the Theory of Sustenanceof a Positive Attitude through the Assumption of a Negative Result. if the dirty laundry was too outrageous-as was often the case-at some point I had to be willing to walk away from the deal. if the problem could not be resolved by physical means. the seller's dirty laundry would often stop me before I crossedthe goal line. there are often factors that are beyond one's control. and closing the sale. I would talk to the buyer in private and remind him of all the reasonswhy it was a good deal. had to be again took matters into my own hands and did what done.

Above all. then.152 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? the ball downfield was meaningless. and I realized that my ability to do so very much dependedupon my ability to defend myself against the intimidators who were ready to pounce on me the moment I tried to touch the ball. becauseclosing a deal and not getting paid is analogousto scoring the winning touchdown and having it called back becauseof a penalty. I had to become an expert at avoiding a "penalty" once I got into scoring position. .

ll *ort of my efforts were directly or indirectly gearedtoward fl .CHeprn "L1 Ir DonsN'r CouNt IJNrrr rnn PorNrs Anp oN THE SconBsoARD lf-n successfully accomplishing the first four steps of selling. As I have repeatedly stated. I was fully aware that I had only earned-not received-a commission. And to make certain that I 153 .The object is to walk away with chips in your hand. that end being the pocketing of a commission by the real estate agent..rcceeding at the fffth and most important step: getting paid. there's a big difference between eatning a commission and teceiving a commission.selling a property is only a means to an end. Contrary to what most people naively assume. the object of the game is not to close deals. In real estate brokerage. When I closed a sale.

Nonetheless. noble to have the client. If you. There is no conflict of interest in doing what you agreedto do for someone and gettingpaid {or doing it. my friend. and deal-makersis misdirected. and I totally concur with the idea of going the extra mile for one's client. Above all. or other personwho puts the deal together-in real estate or any other field.s best interest at heart. ftnder.to wit: Closing deals is so much trash. I had come to the conclusion that the emphasis of most salesmen. I believe in the concepr of value-for-value. In some of the most trendy success and how-to books. no Nobel Prize. It is. broker. I have never seen anything written in any success salesbook about how to accomplish the or most important step of selling: getting paid. Above all. there's not a whole lot of altruism in the fungle. In caseyou hadn't noticed. I never walked away from a closing without feeling that I had performed a valuable service for my client. however/ was that the principals in most of my dealsseemedto consider me to be out of line if I in any w^y suggestedthat I wanred to make certain I got paid.t pay the . Maybe some day.What was a problem. In selling real estate.s in the client's best interest.it's curious to me that no book ever seems to addresswhat's in the best interest of the salesman. don't get no cash.entrepreneurs. Again. At Screw U. there is usually a great deal of emphasisplaced on doing what. so I had no trouble sleepingat night on that score. indeed.\54 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? never lost sight of what my real objective was. but your wife and kids might feel just a bit more secureif you also bad your (and their) best interest at heart as well. I found that the only conflict is the one created in the seller's mind when it suddenly occurs to him that if he doesn. I carried a second card in my wallet that contained yet another literarv masterpiece.

Remember. To sworn and everlasting enemies. lessly about the disparity between "the rich" and "the poor'" Welcome to the world: Of course there's a disparity between people at the top of the ffnancial ladder and those at the bottom' to There's supposed be! That's what freedomand free markets are paraphrase Will Durant. political rabblerousers have been winning the minds of the masses through class-warfareintimidation since the days of the Greek and Roman Empires. I positioned myself for accomplishing my ultimate objective-getting paid. it will mean more real estate agent the agreed-upon his pocket. By developing techniques to dramatically improve my posture. In the final analysis. I took three important stepsto maintain my strongposture: l. the Theory of Intimidation states that the results a person obtains are inversely proportionate to the degreeto which he is intimidated. We hear this kind of gibberish from shameless they love to rail on endthe time. All I did was put a stop to allowing the seller chips in to intimidate me into thinking that my only concern should be his welfare. and that being concerned about my own needs was in some way unethical' Such thinking is sheer.as a closing drew near. i. . I kept my finger on the pulse of the deal 24 hours a day so I could pinpoint the time and place of the closing.e.It Doesn't Count llntil the Points Are on the Scoteboatd 15 5 commission. Speciftcally..intimidating rubbish. concentrating too much on his own well-bepoliticians all ing. If you're over 2I . During election campaigns. what I myself from the rest of the pack by learnreally did was separate ing how to cope with intimidating people and thereby increasing my chancesof receiving what I earned. Nonetheless. freedom and equality are all about. you are certainly aware that one of the most commonly used intimidation ploys is to make a person feel guilty for not properly concerning himself with the other person's welfare.

tactfulness was set aside. The nice thing about determination is that it.s iust as . as you have undoubtedly observed. I would have his moral support. they did so at their own peril. and if wealth was the backbone of such power. Role assignmentswere not subiect to negotiation with my professor. and counted on the Universai Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRule as my insur_ ancepolicy if all else failed. He was always prepared to walk away from a deal. He wasn't.tend to be excellent bluffers. and the prospectiveborrower either willingly acceptedthe role of intimidatee or he didn't get the loan. My attitude was unyieldrng.re preparedto follow through with it. If the secret to not bluffing was to have staying power. Wealthy people. If. My Type Number One professorat Screw U. which states: The secret to bluffing is to not bluff . becausethere was no one deal that was rife or death to him. If borrowers thought he was bluffing. When he threatenedto walk away from a deal. at a minimum.156 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? 2. 3. had taught me the importance of ftnancial staying power. In other words. solidly backed by the wisdom of the Bluff Theory. Com_ mon sensetold me that the only logical substitute was determination. At that point. I dispensedwith the niceties and drew my mental saber from its sheath. Regardless whether the seller was of trying to steal part or all of my commission. never lay down an ultimatum unless you. too. the seller still tried to cut off my ffngers when I reached for my chips. and it was showdown time. despite my strong posture and all the precautions I had taken. I was militant when it came to protecting my chips. He was always the intimidator. I recognizedthat I would have to ffnd a substitute for wealth-at least until I reacheda point where I. I continued to nurture my relationship with the buyer in the hopesthat. possessed significant ffnancial resources. I showed up at the closing with my attorney. he meant it.

could I delight in watching the points go up on the scoreboard. In the final chapters of this book. if the seller started to reach for my chips. Thankfully. and if he continued to refuse to pay me within a short period of time thereafter." with determination as my substitute for wealth. I did not hesitate to take it. But if that was the only courseof action left to me. It was a great feeling to be able to trot into the end zone untouched. It was critical not to get lulled into fiddling while the horse was making a dash for the barn door. If the seller did manage to make it through the closing without paying my commission.I then had no choice but to resort to the one thing I speciffcally had been trying to avoid from the day I first talked to the seller: legal action. even the winner of a lawsuit usually ends up losing' Legalman's fee-building techniques virtually guaranteethis. but I had long ago decidedthat I would rather have the seller taking my name in vain as I waiked away with my chips than have him talking about what a nice guy I was as I walked away without rny fingers. more often than not things went as planned. At that point-and only at that point-I had completed the final and most important step of selling: Setting pcid' When the gamewas over. I relate blow-by-blow de- . I was not always the most popular guy at the closing. If I allowed a closing to occur without getting paid. and I didn't have to resort to legal action. and only then. Then.It Doesn't Count Until the PointsAte on the Scoteboard 157 available to you and me as it is to Bill Gates. becauseof the way the legal system works in the U'S'. unfortunately. I simply drew an imaginary line in my gray matter and said to myself. the problem of securing my chips would become infinitely Sreatet. I moved swiftly in an effort to throw a monkey wrench into the closing. all bluffs get called. Beyondthis line. and exhilarating to look back over my shoulder and see that no penalty flags had been dropped. "This is where intimidation stops. I wasn't bluffing.

250 bone just a couple years before-with one exception: My shell was now protected by an intimidation-shield coating of the highest quality.901in real estate commissions/ yet I was the same tortoise who had barked for a $1. .158 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? scriptions of the deals I closed during the first complete year in which I put my reality-basedphilosophy and techniques into ac_ tion. These dealsresulted in my receiving $949.

Tonrotse he last time I had ventured into the state of Missourialmost two yearsearlier in St. It was in St.I had scored that the points be put on a touchdown and audaciouslysuggested I the scoreboard. had been the bad little tortoise who had tried to reach in the cookie iar and ended up getting spanked. had dared to step out of line and challengethe precedent that it was okay for principals to inflict cruel and unusual punishment on real estate agents.the wiseguy real estateagent who had the gall to expect to be paid his full commission iust becausehe had been successful in selling the owner's property at a price that was acceptableto him.UneprE" I ) t-1 1l n THn RprunN or THr. Louis where I had presumptuously reached for my chips and. t59 . Louis-I returned home deI moralized and defeated.

and night) who owned the KansasCity properties shortly after making the decision to work full time on large.BoozeBrothers. I should return to the state of Missouri to work on the biggest deal of my life. income-producing real estate.His self-righteousness had totally intimidated me.. I had promised myself that I would leapfrogto a new level and that I would find a way to make certain that in the future I would actually receive what I earned." so called for their unwavering commitment to make hard liquor an integral part of every meeting-morning. as such.15O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? as punishment for my crime. It goes without saying that I cautioned the BoozeBrothers over the phone that I personallywould have to inspect the properties beforeI could .I decided that the deal looked makeable enough to warrant my investing some serious time and money. noon.) After a couple weeks of analysisand numerous telephone conversationswith the Booze Brothers. The best writer in Hollywood could not have put together a more dramatic scdpt. then. Louis. In the St. It was my devastatingexperiencein St.It was only fitting.. Louis deai. and. But when I arrived in Kansas City. was almost immune to intimidating tactics. . Louis sale. How different it was from my previous experience in Missouri only a short time before. had had my entire hand cut off by a white-hat seller. I was the expert from af.make a commitment. I had been assuredby my Type Number TWo professorthat his integrity was beyond reproach and that I had no need for a signed commission agreement. that had prompted me to vow to find a way to strengthen my posture.ar. It was also a poetic coincidencethat my secondMissouri deal happenedto approximate the size of my earlier St. that less than two years after the low point of my careerat Screw U.. becauseI still would have been focusedon secondmortgage loans. more than any other. my posture was very different. I never would have pursued the Kansas City deal.. (It is noteworthy to point out that had it not been for the Leapfrog Theory. I first made contact with the three partners(the .

private plane for the inspection tour. air-conditioning unit.eldsof Missouri. the owners felt that there was nothing too good for the expert from afar. but the owners' I did some incoherent mumbling. so they rented a small. or cheap wall-towall carpeting. |ust who was that scaly green stranger. did you say you were a broker?" the understandings were signed and the expert from afar had disappearedacrossthe wheat fi. The Tortoise mercifully let them know that he thought he might be able to "do something" with their properties. The Tortoise's return trips were to be numerous. of course.The Return of The Tottoise 16l The fact that the eight properties were spreadthroughout a number of small towns (in both Missouri and Kansas|close to Kansas City made my inspection task unusually difficult' Luckily. But first there was an important item that had to be taken . This made it possible for me to complete my inspection of all eight apartment developments within 24 hours after my arrival.arhadbeen had come up positive. When I ftnished this meaningless. Before you could say. While cautioning the Booze culations Brothers not to become overly optimistic. By sheercoincidence. The exsatisfied with the inspection.be terminated unilaterally at any time. "Pardon me. or had the owners iust been dreaming that an expert from afar had upon them? Would he ever return? descended Not to worry.exhausting tour. punched a few buttons on my calculator. There is no greater feeling of brotherhood than giving hope to a threesomeof alcoholics. there was only one thing I knew for certain: I never again wanted to see a garbagedisposal. I em' phasizedthat the understandingscould. Then came the big moment-not for me. and his calpert from af.I happenedto have eight pretyped "understandings" with me-one for each property-which I matter of factly pulled from my briefcaseat iust the right moment. and that they did not preclude the owners from working with other agents regarding the sale of their properties. then played out a dramatic pause that would have made Marlon Brando envious' The owners were in luck. anyway?Was he forJeal.

but at the time I signed the Kansas City agreementsI had not yet taken the test in either state. Telling friends and acquaintances that I had closedanother multimilliondollar deal no longer titillated me. while I had obtainedone of my three essentiallegal toolssigned commission agreementsfor each of the properties-I did not have a real estatelicense in either Kansasor Missouri. I passedboth tests.however. Shortly before I ffrst contactedthe BoozeBrothers. a f.). while working to find prospectivebuyers for the proper_ ties. I found that my grocer and landlord dealt only in cash. Accordingly.to take the real estateexaminations for Missouri and Kansas.e. The hard lesson I had previously learned in the Missouri Massacrewas still fresh in my mind: A selier is not legally obligated to pay a real estate commission to anyone who is not licensed in the state where the property is lo_ cated. however..licensing. in the weeks following my initial visit to Kansas City. To my chagrin. my main emphasis was on making certaln that I walked away with my chips. . and Topeka. and shortly afterward received my real estatebrokeragelicense in both states. Missouri.arcry from the Missouri Massacrein which I had possessed none of the necessarylegal tools.not closings. I had long ago resigned myself to the realities of the gov_ ernment protection racket {i. .I then possessedtwo of the three legal tools necessary give real power to to my posture. and acceptedthe fact that the only way to deal with it was to comply.I had already begun working my way through the massive red tape that had to be dealt with in order to be scheduledto take both real estate broker's examinations. Kansas.I had inquired about becoming a licensed real estatebroker in both states... I also made time to travel to |efferson City.Luckily.162 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? care of. Once the eight commission agreementswere signed. The KansasCity deal was a milestone in my careerin that it was the first time I had speciffcally gearedall my efforts toward making certain that I got paid if a sale was ftnalized. it becamea top priority to do whateverwas necessary ob_ to tain the appropriate licenses. So this time around in Missouri.

The Return of The Tortoise r63 After my first trip to KansasCity. Ernest indicated that he was preparedto travel to KansasCity to inspect the properties and meet with the owners.more airconditioning units. Another inspection-ugh! More garbagedisposals.the BoozeBrothers. it was not just the buyer and seller who had worked out a verbal agreement/ while that unnecessary nuisance-the real estate agent-panted and dutifully waited in the reception room. and every step of the way my focus was on keeping a tight grip on the reignsso I would be in a position to get paid if the saleclosed. I worked nonstop putting together a detailed. Everyone pretended as though they were intensely interested in every aspect of the tackily constructed apartments. so much so that in a relatively short period of time Ernest was preparedin principle to buy the properties' When Ernest and I left Kansas City {with my making certain that he boarded his plane before I boarded mine). then sent it (by certified mail. accuratepresentation of the BoozeBrothers' eight properties. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that' from the outset/ Ernest seemedunusually anxious to make the deal. The discussionswent extraordinarily well. His public company was only a couple yearsold. I had taken charge from the beginning. of course) to a number of qualified buyers.e.It was about a month later that I registered (also by certified mail) with the BoozeBrothers a real estate investment trust that had showed a gteat deal of interest in their properties. the time came to sit down in the BoozeBrothers'office and seeif we could structure a deal. Ernest. Finally.though I had the feeling that the BoozeBrothers were just hoping that none of the buildings would collapseduring Ernest'sobligatory inspection. but in the past 12 months or so he had made several maior acquisitions. andThe Tortoise-were in agreement on the general terms o{ the deal. In studying his company's . all three entities-i. After a number of telephone conversations with the president of the real estate investment trust ("Ernest Ego") and the BoozeBrothers. more bricks to stare at. Unlike so many nightmares of the past..

that it was meant for me to return to Missouri-the state where the St. In addition. My image was excellent.secoDd. For this reason.you have to find the right opportunity.!64 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? annual report. and. however.What counts is how well prepared they are and how good they arc at taking advantageof opportunities when such opportunities make their appearance. it was obvious that he wanted the deal badly. at the right time-and that I was the right tortoise. it was clear that if Ernest succeeded purchasing in the eight KansasCity properties. I had done an outstanding job of securingall the information Ernest had requestedin the performance of his due diligence. Most people get plenty of opportunities during their lifetimesf so that's rarely the issue. in the right place.I had all three legal tools locked safelyaway in my files.we all lagain. but had blown them becauseI wasn. in the right place. and I was now following through on every detail. I therefore sensed that it was the right deal.it would elevatehis firm from a small. I wondered to myself. third. rapidly growing real estate investment trust to a serious force to be reckoned with in the real estate industry. Was it possible. First/ you have to be prepared. there were three additional parties involved in the . I had been blessedwith many excellent opportunities in the past. Louis debaclehad occurred-to prove that I ftnally understood how to handle the master intimidators of the Businessworldfungle?Could there actually be justice for reptiles in a world infested by white-hatted humanoids? After a couple more weeks of hammering out the details via telephone. of utmost importance. however. at the right time.This time.me included) decidedthat it was time ro meet in Kansas City and try to finalize the terms of a sale.That. you have to come through at the moment of truth. wes no longer the case. For a real estate agenttthis is as goodas it gets. becauseI was now dealing from a posture of strength.t prepared.There was no way that I was going to allow myself to be intimidated.

considerablyin excessof the true market value of the properties.The Return of The Tortoise 165 transaction: the Booze Brothers'attornet Ernest Ego'sattorney. When appropriate. Truly. shucks" cowboys.the fact is that the BoozeBrotherswere no dummies. in my opinion. they were excellent actors. while putting on an admittedly convincing show. Above all. the price we had been discussingwas still considerablyless than the original asking price of the principals. nothing that the expert from afar did could surprise either Ernest or the BoozeBrothers. which again emphasized the reality that a seller never gives his true price at the outset. I of course went through the formality of properly acknowledging all of Legalman'snormal deal-killing goodiesas "points" that would have to be "handled" so we could get on with the closing. it-The Tortoise'sattorney! and-you guessed By now. cardboard-and-scotch-tape Being superb salesmen themselves.Interestingly. their desireto close the deal could be seen in their actions. I stated (not asked) many ways that we {not just Legalman}would (not could} handle (not solve} the particular points (not problemsIin question. the Booze Brothers. As I pointed out. and they knew full well that the price we were talking about-approximately $2. I felt pretty certain that . However.continued to cry the blues and complain about the price all through the negotiations. for effect. but it was difficult for their attorneys to fathom the idea of a real estate agent being representedby an attorney at a closing.7 million over and above the combined mortgages-was a golden opportunity to unload their apartment complexes at a huge profit. though. and that desire was critical to my being able to offset the Attorney Goal Line Defense. these were uncharted waters for Legalman. The price that he indicated he was willing to pay was. Though they came acrossas "Aw. I had determined from the outset that Ernest was anxious to make a deal in order to speedthe elevation of his company to a more exalted status. I also had some help in ffnessing my way around Legalman.

I
166 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?
behind closed doors they were tossing Legalman biscuits and trying to keep him in his cage. Oscar-winning performances of dissatisfaction notwithstanding, it was obvious that they were anxious to finalize the sale. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed witnessing the Booze Brothers performances. I'd rather watch an experiencedreal estate developerhype, con, and lie his way through a deal than sit on the SO-yard line at a SuperBowl game. And when you,re iucky enough to get three of them together in one deal, they feed on each other's performances much like great Broadway stars. To this day,I admire their professionalism (asactors,that is). Nonetheless, I felt securewith the BoozeBrothers,becauseI recognized them as Type Number Ones. From the outset they had made it clear that the name of the game was to get the best possible deal for themselves,and I appreciatedtheir candor.As I explained earlier, if you're prepared when you deal with a Type Number One, he's the least dangerousof all |ungle creatures.you always know exactly where you stand with him, which gives you the opportunity to implement whatever precautionarymeasures you deem necessary. The negotiations and legal documentation went on for three days, night and day, and had everyone walking around in a stupor from mental and physical exhaustion. On the second day, notwithstanding my strong posture, the BoozeBrothersbeganto hint that there might be a need to perform the usual commissiondectomy. (Those readerswho sell real estate for a living are no doubt familiar with the term commissiondectomy.Itis a delicate surgical procedureaimed at removing all or part of a real estateagent,s commission from his grasp.Sadly,most real estateagentspractically volunteer for this pain{ul operation by leaving their commissions unprotected and exposedto the avaricious appetites of [ungle predators.l The Booze Brothers pointed out that Ernest and they were still several hundred thousand dollars apart, with no apparent way of closing the gap. It seemedto them that the only way the

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168

To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?

deal could be put together was for The Tortoise to be more ,,rea_ sonable"with regardto his commission,but I quickly assured ali the parties that I had no interest in submitting to a commissiondectomy procedure. To my dismay, however, my tough stance did not seem to ruffle anyone, and I was pretty certain that i knew the reasonfor their conftdence.All the parties were fully awareof two of the legal tools I had in my bag-signed commission agreements the for eight properties and certified mail registering Ernest,scompany as the buyer-but they undoubtedly assumedthat The Tortoise was not licensed to sell real estatein either Kansas Missouri. Afor ter all, it would have beenunheard of for anyone to have the foresight-let alone the willingness to spend the time and money_to fight his way through all the red tape, apply for real estate brokeragelicenses in two far-off states/ study the rear estate licensing Iaws of those states/ then travel thousands of mires to take the required examinations and become ordained by their state govelnments. No question about it, their assumption was reasonable.It definitely was unheard of for someone to go to such extremesunless, of course, that someonewas a relentlesstortoise who had undergone a major commissiondectomy in the very same state less than two years earlier. Though I can never prove it, I have always felt certain that between the second and third days of our closing meetings in KansasCity, the BoozeBrothers,attorne, as a formality, checked with the Kansas and Missouri Real Estate commissions to conftrm that I was not a licensed broker in either state. The reason for my belief is that the atmospherechangeddramaticaly when we met on the third day. Here they were-Ernest, the Booze Brothers,and their respectiveattorneys-in the midst of what appeared to be a routine commissiondectomy, when, on the third day, everyone suddenly seemedto be very concernedabout my unwillingness to submit to the operation. As the hours passed,increasing time and attention were

The Return of The Tortoise

16 9

devoted to the commission "problem," with more and more of the conversation being directed at my attorney and me. To their dismay, however, we didn't budge an inch. I was absoluteiy {ascipayment for a job well nated by how an agreed-upon-in-advance done could be verbally transformed into a "problem." I kept wondering what word they would have used to describethe situation had I not produced a buyer for their Leggo-like properties' The attorneys worked into the early hours of the morning to get all the documentation in order and sort out all the legal details related to the sale of the eight major properties. Secre' taries typed away frantically, copying machines ran continuously, and a variety of strangepeople dashed in and out of the Booze Brothers' attorney's offices to sign mysterious documents' When we finally stoppedworking at the end of the third day, it was two o'clock in the morning and everyone was thoroughly exhausted.Ernest, the Booze Brothers, my attorney, and I went back to the motel where we were all staying. (The BoozeBrothers lived in Lawrence,Kansas,but the closing was scheduledto take place in Kansas City, Missouri, so they, too, were staying overnight.) As we climbed the stairs on the way to our second-floor that we all come to his room "to relax rooms, Ernest suggested and kick around a few points." Now, I might be a tortoise, but I'm not so slow that it wasn't obvious to me that Ernest, following another grueling, 16-hour workday, had better things to do at two o'clock in the morning than iust "relax and kick around a few points" with a trio of drunks and guy walking around with a shell on this back. As we climbed the stairs, I thought to myself, "This is it' You've waited almost two yearsfor this moment. You've endured endlessfrustration and humiliation, but, in typical tortoise fashion, you kept trudging ahead. You studied, you analyzed, you planned,you followed through. And this time you're prepared'It's clear that the ball is going to go over the goal line; the only question is whether or not you're going to get credit for the score.And that's going to be determined by whether or not you allow your-

many months after the closing.s company to pur_ chase nearly 1.sroom/ I reminded myself that nothing about this deal had happened by accident. After we assembled in Ernest. ovetfinanced the projects-meaning that they had actually put money into their pockets from the ftnancing they had obtained for constructionf and how they would barely realize a profit from the sale as it was now structured.However. and have the self-discipline and determination to do the right thing rather than yield to the temptation to act on emotion. and have the touchdown called back. including myself. as the licensed real estare agentwho had initially brought Ernest and the BoozeBrotherstogether. remember that the only way to bluff is to not bluff. .In addition to the approximately l. they laughingly told me how they had. make a mistake." As I entered Ernest. in fact. It was unclear as to whether I. Beforedescribing what took place in Ernest. I also pointed out to him the possibility of purchasing additional units to be built in the future. and I mentally vowed that I would maintain control of the situation to assure that no last-minute penaltiesoccurred. so I certainly had a reasonableclaim to a commission on these properties.2SO apartment units that made up the eight properties. You have to play it cool.000 additional units that were to be built in the near future.r70 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? self to be intimidated. had conspicuously avoided talking about where The Tortoise stood with regard to the to-be-built units.sroom/ I should point out that there was another significant factor in this dear.s room/ the Booze Brothers went through a continuation of their Oscar-worthy performances about how much of their own cashthey had put into the building of their apartment developments (even though later. Ernestand the BoozeBrothers plannedto enter tnto a contingent agreementfor Ernest.When I had originally discussedthe eight properties with Ernest. up until the meeting in his motel room/ everyone involved. would be entitled to a commission on these additional propertiesif and when a deal was consummated.

about my agonizing years for this very moment to occur.000 $200. Or about my previous involvewait of alOr ment in the Missouri Massacre. Ernest and the BoozeBrotherswere counting on my sanity and logic. Even though I still had a strong posture.000commission(3 percent of approximately$12'5 million). I had taken my stand. in fact. make $375.My impertinence was galling. Or about my being well aware that this was the right seller and the tightbtyet in the right place at the right time. the defining moment that sooner ot later arrives in every contest in life: To be or not to be intimidated! That is the question. one I had long dreamedabout' It was time to put it all on the line. My determination was unwavering. Wotse. It was time to suck it in and hang tough. . It was time to bluff by not bluffing. and appealedto my rationality. Surely The Tortoise would not blow up a sale of this magnitude by refusing to accept a commission in the range of to Real estateagentsjust weren't supposed to $150. and there would be no backing down. on one deal. Or about the fact most two that nothing in this deal had happenedby accident. surel! I would see the logic in taking a $150. There was no way that the deal could stand a $375. It was time to go for the touchdown and not be intimidated into settling lor a measly field goal. six-ffgure commission. "Green Power! Green power!" After repeated.! Ernest made it clear that he had already agreedto a higher price than he should have (and he was absolutely right). in no small way aided by my having the right legal tools on my side.The Return of The Tbrtoise 17'. I could almost hear the crowds chanting.000 commission rather than no commission at all.000. Surely I would not be crazy enoughto throw away the opportunity to earn a handsome.000 I couldn't even seemto conjure up the decencyto feel guilty. It was the perfect situation. But Ernest and the BoozeBrothers knew nothing about my undergraduatedays at Screw U. Timing senses.vain attempts to try to 8et me to come to my Ernest and the BoozeBrothers began to get testy. It was.

'.sno sensegoing around in circles all night. and.'Don. i.. "As to your properties. I said.t worry..smiled pieasantly. "Wlty don't you guys get some sleep.ll be in touch with you in the next couple of weeks.ve been talking to several other prospective buyers. Hey. As for the Booze Brothers. . I will always remember the distance-I was approximately three feet from the door-when Ernest and the BoozeBrothers yelled out.rmedthat I had been right all alongthat this was the right buyer and the right seller in the right place at the right time.Sooneror later.In a deadpan/ matter-of-fact manner. there. It looks like we aren. in unison/ "Waitl" That was the most telltale word anyone had ever spoken to me.l1 come acrossa deal for you where the mathematics make sense. after all the work they had done. . I. Then I turned to the Booze Brothers and said.glanced back over my shoulder. after all the effort he had put into this deal..closed it. Then I rose.t going to be able work this deal out." I was conscious of my every move and every word as I completed the Tortoise BriefcaseAddressin a style that rivaled some of the Booze Brothers' greatest performances. it.Boys.I. What Ernest had meant by that one word was that there was no wa.paused.. that he was going to miss the opportunity to propel his company into a significant real estate investment trust just because somereal estate broker happened tobe uazy.[12 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? is a critical factor in every deal. said. That one word confi. I. and I think I can crank up some serious interest in the next couple of weeks." I then looked at Ernest and said.s not the last deal in the world. the word wait was their way of saying that there was no way.l I then put my papers back in my briefcase. in the most cavalier manner. so let's just write if off to experience. started toward the door. and I knew that the time was right for my now historic Tortoise BriefcaseAddress. and snapped the latches shut-very slowly-one latch at a time.(you can just imagine how happy Ernest was to hear that.m working on a lot of other properties.

lg-about $50. Unbeknownst to either Ernest or the Booze Brothers.theoretically. . Second.446. When Ernest and the BoozeBrothers came out of the ether. for the remaincommission of $221. how could I be sure that Ernest would ever complete the purchase?And the way the Brothers Booze drank. aside and apart from the contingent purchase of the to-be-built apartments for which I had agreedto forfeit any claims to a commission.The Return of The Tbrtoise 173 that they were going to miss the opportunity to pocket a $2+ million proftt just becausesome real estate broker was too stupid to of understandthe consequences his actions. "iust as a matter of trying to help pull this deal together.000more right now. First.50.000 mor e than the approximately $375. Four of the properties were closed immediately. the commission we ftnally agreed upon as a comprcmise was . I was going to give the BoozeBrothers (and.901 commission I had been shooting for. In other words.that there was at least a reasonableargument that I was not legally entitled to a commission on those units. that kind of compromise made up for a lot of past commissiondectomies.I've never had any faith in contingent closings. How was I to know if the apartments would ever be built. Let me tell you." I said that I would consider taking an additional $50. how could I be certain that they would even live that long?(Sadly. from the outset of this deal I had operated under the assumption that I would never receive a dime for the sale of the to-be-built units. In the end. Ernestfthe opportunity to saveseveralhundred thousand dollars {my potential commission) down the road by coming up with a mere $50.000 $ 426. and. However. Ernest Ego and the Booze Brothers structured the KansasCity deal so there would be two closings.000 cash right now in lieu of any future commission on the units to be completed and purchased at a later date.I I againmade it clear that there was absolutely no negotiation regardingmy 3 percent commission for the sale of the eight properties. for which I received a The second closing. one of them did passaway not too many years after the closing. even if they were. I realized.

.174 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? ing four apartment developments. It was a great ending for what easily could have been a movie script. . it wasn't a script.. . though. Driving over the bridge separating downtown Kansas City from the old airport.89.I had no idea that I would return to Missouri soil to make good on my vows. it was real life..'Well. my commission check safelylocked away in my briefcas€. and would result in my receiving an additional commission of $205. . I looked at him and replied. I had experiencedthe thrill of a major victory over big-league intimidators.Deserving. how do you feel?" Without hesitating. For the ff. Happily. When I had vowed to leapfrog to a new level and ffnd a way to actually pocket what I earned.was set for two months hence.454.Dy attorney looked over at me and asked.rsttime.

He encloseda copy of a letter from Ernest that listed no less than29 unpleasant surpriseshe had been confronted with t75 .Cnaprr. like all closings. For starters. much of the dirty laundry that normally comes to the surface just prior to a closing predictably did not show up until after the ftrst Kansas City sale was consummated. the dirty laundry discovered since the ffrst closing would have to be rectiffed.had more than its shareof problems.runx or THETonrorsr: Penr II he secondKansasCity closing. Ernest Ego becameincreasinglyupset with the BoozeBrothers and more hesitant about closing on the secondgroup of apartments. About two weeks before the scheduled second closing.16 THp Rr. With each new surprise. Ernest's attorney sent a letter to the Booze Brothers' attorney in which he stated that before the secondclosing could take place.

and the Booze Brothers made it clear to me that they felt they had a valid purchase agreement with Ernest for the second group of properties. I told the BoozeBrothers that I would set up a conferencecall with Ernest. Things were becoming very heated between them. I had a feeling that Ernest's attorney.176 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? since taking over the first four properties. Ernest's attorney sent another letter to the Booze Brothers' attorneyt this one listing a number of legal and tax problems that he had discoveredsince the first closing.or a way to back out of the second closing. I was experienced enough by this time to know that the worst possible way to try to get the other side to accedeto your wishes is to make hostile threats. I reminded them that there was big money involved. I employed every psychological tool at my disposal to try to keep peace between Ernest and the Booze Brothers.000+ commission going down the drain along with the BoozeBrothers' dirty laundry. and that if we ali kept calm and worked together. was reaching into his bag of deal-killing goodies to gum up the works." I then made a separatecali to Ernest and as- . the "points" (that old standby word for "problems") in question could be "handled. The next day. From my standpoint. there was too much at stake to surrender without a fight.I suddenly had visions of my additional $205. becauseErnest was probably looking f. If you push a person to the point where he feels that he has to stand his ground in order to saveface-sort of a knee-jerk. at his direction. and that threats would only succeedin provoking Ernest into taking a tougher stand. macho response-emotion tends to overrulelogic. so I urged the Booze Brothers not to threaten Ernest with a lawsuit. so I rolied up my sleevesand worked around the clock to try to resolvethe problems and pull the deal back together. They also made it clearthat they were goingto institute a massivelawsuit against Ernest's company if he did not go through with the secondclosing.

both Ernest and the BoozeBrotherstalked in a cooperativespirit. of course.I managed to diffuse a potentially explosive situation. I opined that with the company'sstock climbing as it had been. there was no question in my mind that the "points" he had discoveredsince the first closing could be easily "handled" if we worked togetherin a spirit of cooperation. The ffrst Kansas City purchase had given him a lot of favorable publicity.I if painted a gruesomepicture of a New Yorker coming to Missouri or Kansas. During the discussion. I told Ernest that becausethe Booze Brothers were reasonablepeople. Now that I had changedtheir perceptionsof each other's attitude/ I felt it was safe to move forward with a conferencecall.The Return of The Tortoise: Part II t77 suredhim that the BoozeBrotherswere honorablepeopleand had only the best of intentions.a mind-set they had not been willing to display when talking directly to eachother. In addition.I then let him know that I was going to set up a conferencecall with the BoozeBrothers so we could proceedwith ironing out the details. I made each party believe that the mind-set of the other party was cooperative and reasonable. the possibility of a major lawsuit and the attendant bad publicity could knock the props out from under its market value. and the public was taking note of the fact that his company was growing rapidly.they had).I suspectedthat it was only a matter o{ time until Legalman would suggest that they institute legal proceedings the secondclosing did not take place on schedule. I further reminded him what a greatpublic relations roll his company was on/ and that he should consider what a lawsuit might do to his company's image. Finally. I said that even though the Booze Brothers had not mentioned the possibility of a lawsuit to me (which. I pointed out that negativepublicity could be a hindrance to his acquiring other propertiesin the future. The cali worked like a charm.or both-Booze Brothers' turf-and trying to win a caseagainsta bunch of "wholesome" country boys. By giving the samepacification speechto both sides. with no .

In retrospect. My arrival for the secondKansasCity closing was a real-life enactment of every real estate agent/swildest fantasy. becausethere is no question that a private plane is a remarkable efficiency tool.from a cash-flow standpoint a private jet is a bit more suited to a Fortune 500 board chairman than a real estate agent. and (2) it would add considerablyto my posture and make it even more difficult for buyersand sellers to intimidate me.In a fit o{ youthful impulsiveness/ I purchaseda Learjet (on credit. And higher I went-about 41. Nevertheless. Now that I had succeeded in Ieapfroggingover the rest of the pack. I wanted to go even higher.being the young.the former was a more defensiblerationale than the latter. within a week both sides were satisfied and preparedto close the secondgroup of apartments. however. while my Learjet was an ef{ective prop in this regard. The Leapfrog Theory had worked spectacularly well for me. I ffnancially obligated myself to this overheadhog.This was . of course)long before Gulfstreams had become commonplace toys for every corporate executive worth his salt. It was agreedthat as soon as the Booze Brothers had taken care of the items they promised to correctt the second closing would commence. We calmly reviewed the 29 points on Ernest'slist and discussed best way to resolveeach item.178 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? sign whatsoever of hostilities.000feet higher. so high that future closings would be even smoother than my first Kansas City closing had been with regard to receiving my commission. There was another fairly signiffcant change that took place between the first and second Kansas City closings. the Compromise proved to be the order of the day. impetuous tortoise I was. My rationale for making such an elephantine purchasewas two-pronged: (1)It would be an efficient tool that would allow me to be personally involved in many more deals simultaneously. and I was determined to move onward and upward. As to my strong-posturerationale. Sure enough.

89 my commissionfor the second phaseof the KansasCity sale. both Ernest and the Booze Brothers had been made aware of the fact that the expert from afar had purchased a private jet.e. how do you feel now!" I thought about it for a moment. blue-andwhite Learjet. as we went over the bridge on the way to the airport/ my attorney askedme. nor did I even concern myself with arriving in KansasCity aheadof the buyer. Need I say that there were no late-night motel-room discussions this time around?The closing went smoothly.Not only did Ernest Ego never buy the second phase (i. {Try to get a buyer and seller to do that if you're a real estateagent flying commercially!) The setting was like something out of a novel.The Return of The Tortoise: Part II 179 one time that I did not fly with the buyer to the seller's city. and broker. notwithstanding their windfall proffts. Nicely. and I walked as away with another$2O5.from out of the clouds streaked a shiny. never succeeded build- . who was really nothing more than a good real estate broker who had learned the art of handling intimidators."Gee.who. There they were. then looked at him and answered. Ernest Ego and the BoozeBrother descended watched as my Learjet touched down.454. The closing could now proceed.S. drinking coffee and waiting for-of all people-the broker to arrivel A new precedent had been set for the relationship between buyer. and I had made arrangements aheadof time to have them meet me at the KansasCity airport. this gave them a perfect view of the airport's main runway. almost intimidating. " P. its jet engines screaming through the skies as it toward the runway.the to-be-built apartments). but the BoozeBrothers. The expert from afar. had arrived.. "Well. By the day of the closing. Suddenly. Ernest and one o{ the Booze Brothers were sitting in the coffee shop of the main terminal at a table next to the window. This time. then taxied to a private aviation hangar. seller. got into serious ffnancial in trouble shortly after the secondclosing.

Last I heard they were seen standing on a street corner and carrying signs that read: Will Develop Real Estate tor Food. And Ernest Ego?Like so many real estateinvestment trusts of those early years.l8O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? ing the additional units. Makes a guy wonder if having a good-payingjob isn't a better way to go. his company ultimately ended up in bankruptcy. .

A @=F Y---a-t I M - ffi.o47a -ffI o -ll=* VC YELOP hl\LL L EA l{rjr "Hey. why not toss in the towel and give Hollywood a try instead!" . gays.

Ohio. becauseI had to invest an inordinate amount of effort into getting my commission agreement signed. It was obvious from the beginning that the main principal in the Dayton deal ("Mr. which should have alerted me to trouble on the horizon.Cnaprr "LT THE Tonrorsn DoNs Hrs HenE Cosrurvrr. The setting for this sad Tortoise tale was Dayton. so there was no excusefor letting my guard down. After several discussionswith Mr. I inexcusably deviated from own rules and managed to find a way to get burned again.he informed me that his property was actually owned by a limited partnership and that he r82 . Biggshotte"f was a classic Type Number One. Biggshotte. It was a difffcult deal. fter the KansasCity textbook illustration of how to apply my reality-based philosophy to big-money deals.

he that Sam Sewage he told me that even if his partner refusedto sign the agreement. Sure enough. and instead suggested After a few minutes of prefacingrego over the details of the deal.C. He assuredme that this was merely a "gesture of respect" so as not to offend his Washington.C. D. I then called Mr. he inserted a handwritten clauseat the bottom of the last pagethat stated that the agreementwas not valid unless executed by his two partners. Biggshotte and told him that I was going to Ieave unless Sam Sewagemet with me immediately. Sam Sewage's Mr. The bottom line was that Mr. but. however. The next day. and asked her if I could use the telephone. Biggshotteverbally guaranteedme that he would make the commission agreementvalid with or without signature. spent a couple of hours sitting in Sam'sreception room. and. partner ("Sam Sewage")bymaking it look as though he had enteredinto a deal without his knowledge. my self-respectcame to my rescue. walked over to the receptionist's desk.I askedmyself how in the world I had gotten into a situation where I was again sitting dutifully in some rude monger'sreception room/ waiting for him to blessme with a few minutes of his valuable time. Mr.. shadesof my early days at ScrewU. the still possessed legal authority to bind the partnership. He assuredme. waiting for him to see me. I explainedthe commission agreementto him. Mr' Biggshotte tried to calm me down. that he "controlled the deal" and that there would be no problem. Biggshotte finally signed my commission agreement.The Tortoise Dons His Hare Costume 183 was one of the three general partners.. I flew to D. to my . Finally. and assuredme that he would call Sam as soonas I got off the line. marks. Biggshotte also assuredme would do whatever he asked of him. within a few minutes Sam Sewagegranted me an audience. Biggshotte then called Sam Sewageand set up an appointment for me to come to Washington to talk to him in person. Further. When Mr. I Having come to my senses/ got up.I restrained my urge to spill a bottle of Liquid Paper that we on his powder-bluepolyester suit.

he had assuredme that he would do so shortly. particularly after traveling all the way to Washington/ so I was not about to lower myself and try to pressurehim into signing against his will. he didn't like to '. Biggshottewhen he was ready to sign.). one of those fateful coincidences of life occurred. refuseto sign.after reviewing the agreement for a few days. I was told.. as a matter of principle. though Sam Sewage had not yet signed the agreement.I bumped into none other than the third partner in the deai {"Eddie Enigma.and suggested that he also may as well sign it since it was not valid anyway until Sam Sewagesigned. On the flight home. and. I was pretty fed up after having to sit in Sam.I acted casualand told him to look over the agreement and get back to Mr. Though he emphasizedthat he didn.. Sam said that he would need a day or two to study the agreement before signing. Instead. Biggshottehad simply told me that Eddie was not a factor in the deal and that I should just ignore him.t seeanything wrong with the agreement/he said that. I told Eddie that I had just come from Washington and that. As you might have guessed.r84 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? dismay. had liquid assetsthat would make dinner atTaco Bell seem like a big night on the town. Biggshotte'ssignature. Mr.rush into things.I was never quite certain exactly what Eddie contributed to the partnership. I was pretty conftdent. During an hour's layover at the pittsburgh airport {my Learjet was down for repairs). Notwith- . in fact.he had already promised me that he would honor my commission agreement even if Sam Sewagerefused to sign it. At this point..s signa_ ture. Surprisingly.swaiting room so long. Sam Sewagedid.He had no real estate expertise/had apparently done none of the work with regard to the ftnancing or building of the project. Eddie Enigma actually signedthe document as per my request/ so I was now missing only Sam Sewage. On the way home. Biggshotte really was the one who was in control of the deal. becauseall the evidence indicated that Mr. Regardless. I then showed him several copies of the agreement/which contained Mr.

the real estate laws of Ohio. from all indications it appearedthat Mr. which should have been another red flag for me had I not been sleepwalking. After all.Mr. I also got Eddie Enigma to initial the deletion. and his signing would be de-factoproof that he did. Arnold had spoken rrary a word on my behalf when my Type Number Two .) Mr.which even Eddie Enigma had confirmed.My contact at that company ("Arnold Apathy") was also the same person with whom I had negotiated the St. Louis deal.He deleted the clausehe had addedat the bottom of the agreementregarding the other partnersr signatures. approve of the terms of the sale. Biggshottereally was in control of the deal. as I pointed out. Biggshotte explained that he and Eddie controlled more than two-thirds of the partnership. I gatheredextensive data on the property and put together an impressivepackage. I was on strong legal ground. and.The Tortoise Dons His Hare Costume 185 standing. because was licensed to I planned to make cersell real estate in Ohio.in order for a sale to be consummated. I Third.This soon led to a serious interest on the part of the same company that had purchased the St. Second. Biggshotteurged me to proceedwith working on a saleof the Dayton property. then initialed the deletion. In fact. they had the legal power to bind it and enter into an agreementwith me. tain that there would be plenty of certiffed mail in my ffles as evidence of my involvement. Sam Sewage would have to sign the closing documents. Biggshottewith whom I was dealing. As always. like most states. and. Louis apartment development where I had undergone my most painful commissiondectomy. (At a later date. as a result. Even though the agreementwas not as ironclad as I would have liked. in fact. I decidedto move forward with working on a sale of the Dayton apartment development anyway. and it was Mr. First. There were three reasonsfor my decision. in addition.protectedthe "procuring broker" even if he only had a verbal agreement.

Arnold sent an outline of an offer to me. looking down garbage disposals. he lavished so much praise on me that. it's hard for me to believe that I moved forward with working on this deal with the knowledge that there were potential problems with both the buyer and seller. In fact. Biggshotte. Mr. subject only to Arnold. the hare.Arnold let it be known that he was satisffedwith what he had seen.1E5 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? professor stuck it to me in the Missouri Massacre. Before inspecting the property. and that I also registeredhis company by certiffed mail with Mr. said that the only way he was interested in going through with the deal was if the buyer could close it right away. Looking back on it now. however. About a week later/ Arnold Apathy came to Dayton to inspect the property. Mr. Biggshotte. Biggshotte to sign it. touring of bathrooms and laundry rooms. Mr.s inspection of the property-and I was successfulin getting Mr.who had let me know from the outset that he was in desperateffnancial straits.So. Biggshotteand I had becomepretty chummy. It goeswithout saying that I sent the deal to Arnold Apathy by certifted mail. and asked that I have the seller sign it if it was acceptable. Biggshotte and I flew to New york a couple weeks later to meet personally with Arnold Apathy. He told me point blank that he had never seena real estate broker do such a thorough.and opening closet doors. It was during that New york trip that I began to get lulled into a false senseof security. meaninglessstaring at bricks.000 over the mortgage. I . efftcient job and be so aggressivein moving a deal forward. was a reasonIt able offer-$800.My only excuseis that this took place many years before I had undergonemy first brain-transplant surgery. It was the usual. and he continually praised me for the great job I was doing in handling all aspects of the deal. to expedite the handling of the myriad details that would have to be taken care of before a closing could occur.and at that point I thought we were headedfor a quick closing. much like my eternal nemesis. Even before we went to New york.

. yi vw.I ilu'.

he said to me. About two weeks after our New york trip. It wasn't the way I wished things would be. when he and I were chatting about businessphilosophy." This hardly shocked me. Biggshotteand I tied the bow around our friendship. He didn't exactly have a sterling reputation. He continued to praise me. becauseI not only possessed ohio real estate license. I ffgured I had nothing to fear. "orrro"r. in businessevery guy grabshis best hold and goesfor all he can get. How could I deny that there was a certain amount of truth to what he was saying. To be sure.s business philosophy. but the way I had to admit they really were. "Let's face it.schips. and plenty of certiffed-mail slips as proof of my involvement. Biggshotte and Eddie Enigma. Another reason for our buddy-buddyrelationship was that I liked Mr.. During one of orr. Biggshotte.. the fact that all mail and communications were being channeled through me gave me a great sense of security.. .How sweetit is. consideringmy ffrsthand experience with disorganized crime in the |ungle.S. Bigg_ shotte continued to praise me for the outstanding job I was doing."_ tions. Ignoring rcality and displaying a shocking ability to rationalize away the facts. Arnold Apathy sent me a purchase agreement for the Dayton property. Biggshotte's candor. I also had the advantageof knowing Mr. any way he can get it.lE8 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? beganto relax and think to myself. Mr. Everything else is 8. My impeccable lack of logic was analogousto a person deciding that even though he had advance word that armed bandits were going to rob a bank within the next ffve minutes. it was safe for him to go inside becausehe was wearing a bullet-proof vest.I hadn. which was understandablegiven that he was an extreme Type Number One who had no qualms about trying to grab both his and everyoneelse.tex_ perienced this kind of infatuation since I first spotted the court Holder in my organic chemistry lab. a an signed commission agreement with Mr. and I continued to lap up every word. During our New York trip. Mr. consideringwhat I had been through both during and after my days at Screw u. .

witnessing Legalman wave aside problems is about as common as viewing Halley's comet' On the day of the scheduledclosing.soffice and provided such information as rent rolls. Mr. the day arrived when Arnold Apathy was satisfied and ready for a closing. Arnold Apathy demanded that Mr. a commission of approximately $97.The Tortoise Dons His Hare Costume t89 and Arnold Apathy displayed considerably more respect for my position in this deal than he had in the Missouri Massacre. Biggshotte. Biggshotte'sdesperation. one of the more common dirty-laundry probiems surfaced.000within my grasp/ and {rom out o{ nowhere the insurance company was trying to gum up the works by refusing to allow the sale to go through. As usual. It looked like a slam-dunk.with his blessing. rent rolls they had iound to be less than accurate. tax bills. I took matters into my own hands and did most of the work. in this particular deal my staff and I took care of things that normally could be handled only by a seller. What to do? My old standby. however.sown personnel. Biggshotte beggedalmost to the . The insurance company that held the mortgage on the property refused to allow a transfer of the apartment development to the buyer. As we got nearer to a closing. Becauseof Mr. Biggshottesupply a considerableamount of additional information. Legalmanprobably figured that the only way he would ever get his bill paid by Mr' Biggshotte was to actually help (blasphemvt) get the deal closed. and a number of other questionable items. I flew to cincinnati (where the insurance company was located) with my attotney and Mr. Here I was on the one-yardline. The insurance company was unhappy with Mr. my staff virtually took over Mr.of course:Take matters into my own hands. Biggshotte' What transpired at the insurance company's offtce that day was like something out of a soap opera. the Attorney Goal Line Defensewas almost nonexistent in this deal. In fact. Biggshottebecauseof his delinquent mortgage payments. and a long list of other items that required exhausting hours and numerous trips to Dayton' Finally.

Biggshotte begrudgingly agreedto allow the insurance company to stick the needlein his arm and draw the required amount of blood under the euphe_ mism of "mortgage transfer fee.s offtces. all of whom they obviously disdained.. .point of tears. out of the goodnessof their hearts.Forget it. the insurance company'sfoot soldiers decidedthat they were going to allow Mr.ve been around since the stone Age. After more begging.and securea sub_ stantial real estate company in their place. Mr. Biggshotte. Sam Sewage.but to no avail. These are the samernsurance companies who run those upbeat ads on television.and Eddie Enigma. Insurancecompanies may seem stuffy to most of us.but stood firm. was also elated that the sale could now be closed. They also routinely crush hotshot real estate developers like Mr. Biggshottewithout giving it a second. it didn. Biggshotte. Biggshotte to donate a couple pints of blood in exchangefor ap_ proving the transfer of his property. Finally. and more hard-luck stories. My attorney tried a tactful approach. human blood.They. It didn't make any sense to me. thought. Insurance-company executives know all about Mr. and have seen every trick. After we left the insurance company.s )ungle philosophy of grabbingyour best hold and going for every_ thing you can get. I " appealedto their powers of reason. So where was their logic? Foolish tortoise that I was. It was obvious that the boys in the blue suits didn't have agreat deal of sympathy for pathological real estate developers. though bitter about being forced to make a donation to the insurance company's blood bank. the oneswhere their friendly insuranceagentsare always helping out some traumatized neighborhoodfamily.remember that all that glassand steel you seeis held together by dried.more tears.t occur to me that what the insurance company was angling for was quite simple: Blood! The next time you walk by one of those beautiful insurancecompany skyscrapers. Here was an opportunrty for them to get rid of Mr. Bigg_ shotte. Mr.He had been on the verge of rosing the deal.. but they know all the angles.

which I hadn't usedin years' It was like turning against my own people . There was no more any fool could seethat the need to be on guard. I asked Mr. But." my newfound best friend retorted. because deal was in the bag. reptiles.this time it was I who went under the ether. Biggshotte. To his credit. Biggshotte. one would have thought that my main concern was in seeing to it that nothing got in the way of my flaming romance with Mr. Biggshottecame bustling out of the closing room and announced that everything was "done" and that " we'reall going out to dinner to celebrate. and the back'slapping was so intense that it bordered on amorous' So much so that I told my attorney that he need not accompany us to the closing' I had." Swift-witted soul that I was. telling us how gratefui he was for what we had done for him and that he would never forget it. Finally. who continued to talk as though he owed his very life to me.thought I." Mr. Biggshotte gushed all over me and my attorney. Rather than being focused on my commission.The gushing. alas. Biggshotte. "I'm taking care of everything. "and for a moment there I thought I might have a problem. . Mr. Bottom line: Without me/ he would have had no deal. what about my commission?" "Don't worry about it.The Tortoise Dons His Hare Costume lq1 but now it looked like it was going to be finalized' Mr. so much so that I quickly steppedinside a phone booth and changed into my tattered hare costume. in fact. . Shades of my performancein Victor Vermin's reception room in Cincinnati years earlier: The last thing I remembered was waiting around in an attorney's reception room/ sucking my thumb and playing with my yo-yo while the closing was taking place in another room." I thought to myself." "Cosh. Mr. "lJh. €(. he admitted that without us he didn't believe that he would have been able to get the insurance company to agreeto the transfer. totally lost my mind! So off to Dayton I went with my new best friend. Biggshotteseemedso iubilant that I . the praise. and the project would have ended up in Busted Proiects Heaven. Such gratefulnesswas pure ecstasyfor me.

sweetheart.lrBt\lqPHl(dNt3 "HoId up on the ptaise." . while I slip into something more suitable for the occasion.

It's as though I were invisible. Biggshotte. but no one bothered to even acknowledge me. I had to find a way to talk to Mr.. "Mustn't panic. I. their attordinner*Mr.for me. it was the last supper. Biggshotteexcusedhimself to go to the men's room. it was a celebration. which finally folted me out of my sedation. it all started coming back to me-my yearsat ScrewU. I had shed my hare . Mother Teresawould have been proud of my compassionatemind-set. yes.The TortoiseDons His Hare Costume 193 hated to do anything to dampen his spirits. in my past experiences the |ungle.he. After about an hour. Biggshotte continued to heap praise on me in front of everyone. Sam neys.Sam Sewage. too. so I decided not to presshim. excusedmyself.It's wonderful being invited to dinner. My separationfrom the closing had been carried out with such graceand finessethat most of the celebrants'probably wondered what I was doing at the dinner. the defensivetechniquesI had reminded mysel{ that I had been deaiing with an developed. All parties to the closing were at the victory celebration Arnold Apathy. but not when you're on the menu! Finally. and. Even at the celebration dinner.but I had no choice. From my standpoint. This was my big chance. The men's room wasn't my idea of an ideal place to conduct business." I thought to myself. Mr. By this time. becauseby signing the closing documents.Everything was quite lovely until I happenedto notice that the first coursebeing servedwas turtle soup. even Eddie Enigma. Biggshottein private as quickly as possible.I archetypal Type Number One. a nasty jungle predator who had made it clear to me from the outset that the name of the game was to get as many chips as possible by whatever means necessary. in effect. had made a legal representationthat he approvedo{ the sale. Mr. I was so flattered that I was tempted to pull out my yo-yo and perform a couple new tricks I had learned in the reception room while everyone else had beerr busy with more mundane matters-like closing the sale. For them. Sewagewas the key to the deal.

Arnold Apathy is holding up some of the funds for a few months pending my performance of certain conditions in the sale agreement. the insurance company hit me with a surprise transfer fee this morning.. On numerous occasions.. but I tried my best. I told Mr. saving him from the clutches of the insurance company. as a true tortoise again. "Don't wofiy. put his arm around my shoulder(without first washinghis hands!). Notwithstanding his ongoing praise and admissions. and said. Mr. in particular. by his own admission.194 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? costume and. On top of that. so there isn't a dime left to give you today. Biggshotte that I didn't want to ruin his celebration. Biggshotte had given new meaning to the word galL. he pointed out the facts of life-that because had terhe rible ffnancial problems.he said.. Mr.but that I had not yet received my commission. Then came the now-famous Dayton Men's Room Address. however.I'll take careof you (heh.ll have enough to pay you. was determined to get to the crux of the issue right then and there. he would resort to .Listen. he could only offer me two alternatives: I could either wait until he "straightened himself out ffnancially" {whatever that was supposedto mean} or I could file a lawsuit against him {in which case." Mr. he repeatedly told me that I had more than earned my full commission.in the months following the closing. consideringthe f act that. Biggshotte reiterated to me that I had done a fantastic iob of selling his property and.heh). To his credit. and that had I not done so there would not have even beena closingl He then looked me in the eye-as his smile broadenedinto a toothy grin reminiscent of the Big Bad Wolf in his infamous verbal exchangeswith Little Red Riding Hood-and said warmly. I. it was l who had savedhim with the insurance compan. which many scholarsrank right up there with the GettysburgAddress and The Tortoise Briefcase Address I had delivered rn KansasCity.. It's not easyto act casual when you're standingnext to a urinal and watching someone relieve himself. Biggshottesmiled warmly.But as soon as we work out the other items.

I'll '\/ \/\ t take care of you (heh.\ /\/ \'2{ "Don't worry." . heh).

Ultimately.s final words to me in the men's room/ and added: "The trouble is.At the time. However.000compromise? to First. I drew a greatround of laughs from their attorne.' " The judgeloved it.it turned out that there was a clausein the limited-partnership agreement that. in retrospect. we settled the suit for $35. Second. Biggshotte himself when I reiterated the latter.196 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? every dirty trick book in order to drag the suit out for three or four years|. Third. It went without saying that Sam Sewageand Eddie Enigma would. even though this was technically a moot point by virtue of his being a party to closing the sale. but. contrary to what Mr.Sam Sewage. long after I had ffled suit against Mr.At my deposition. Why had I agreed the $35.000. judgeshave been known to listen to irrelevancies on more than one occasion. I wasn't smart enough at the time to understand what he meant when he said he would'take careof me. the court reporter. Biggshotte in The Big Lie and claim that I had been notified of the existenceof the saieprevention clause prior to my working on the deal. Biggshotte had assuredme.S.consideringthe |ungle characters with whom I was dealing. on general fungle principles. and. Biggshotte. and Eddie Enigma. Each of my commission agreementsalways clearly spelled out that whoever signed the agreementwas doing so as an individual and assuming personal responsibility for any all commitments called for in the agreement. the judge. I was bitter. specifipreventedhim from entering into a contract for the sale of calTy the Dayton property without Sam Sewage'sapproval. unfortunately. As a consequence/ only real hope I had was to the . I wasn't getting paid to entertain judges. support Mr. so I had no recourseagainst him.I think I was very lucky to end up getting even a third of my chips. and even Mr. P. Eddie Enigma had declared bankruptcy shortly after the closing. regardless of the actual owning entity. Sam Sewagepointed out that he had specifically refused to sign the agreementwhen I visited him in Washington.

when it came time to show my Tortoise stuff-when I reached the one-yard line-I blew it. if he had. and I had executed my duties to perfection. I had to consider the possibility that if the suit draggedon much longer. Indications were that he had been in financial difficulty since nursery school. I therefore decided to grab the $35.000 and chalk it up to experience. and I didn't like the prospects of collecting from him. "Dumb'" . Mr. In that event. I would have replied. I was so busy lapping up Mr. for an experienced graduate of ScrewU. energy. all to no avail. My attorney knew better than to ask me how I felt after the Dayton closing.. I had possesseda great image.The Tortoise Dons His Hare Costume r9v go after Mr. and still not have collected a penny. And that.things were only getting worse for him. Nonetheless. Biggshotte's flattery that I committed an infraction on the touchdown play. In addition. from what I could gather. Biggshotte might ioin many of his fellow real estatedevelopersand go belly up. so I felt I was fully prepared to handle his treachery. and money. but. is indefensible. I had managedto collect all the necessarylegal tools. and. I had recognizedearly on that I was dealing with a classic Type Number One.Shame on me. Biggshotte. I would have spent a great deal of additional time.

In my next deal. I was wary from the outset. 18 Tnn Tonrorsn RErunNS TnuE Fonrvr To fter the Dayton fiasco. I was determined never again to be lulled into a mental lapse when money was on the line. There was no doubt in my mind that they were devious. and that they would try to separateme from my chips at the ffrst opportunity to do so. in which both the principals and their properties were located in Memphis.C'eprr. One of the partners ("Bubba"). Wheeler-dealer 198 . himself an attornet was a habitual back-slapper-always laughing ioking and teliing you what a "good ole'boy" you were-a wheeler-dealer who had little in common with the pure version of Legalman. I vowed that in the future I would move swiftlv at the first sign of trouble. becauseI immediately spotted the two partners as classic Type Number TWos.

Arnold departedMemphis.licensed as a real estatebroker in Tennessee. and had made certain that plenty of certiffed mail went back and forth between my office and the principals. but it was part cash.000 offering price was too low. or a total purchase price in excessof $4. He simply mumbled his way incoherently through every conversation. Louis properties submitted a written offer of $950. visited Memphis to inspect the properties.8 million. I succeeded in getting Bubba and Mumbles to sign a tentative agreement to sell at the $1. I also had the standardimage factors going for me. using their law certiffcate as a respectabiefront for maneuveringtheir way into businessdeals. including my flitting in and out of Memphis via private jet.4 million {over the mortgages)for the Memphis apartments. However. and the situation was left hanging. part stock. Ernest Ego. the head of the real estate investment trust that had purchased the Kansas City properties.which made it easy for an alert-againtortoise to recognizethat he was not to be trusted. Arnold Apathy.2 million over a combined first-mortgage balance of roughly $3.000 (over the existing mortgages)for the two apartment developments.The Tortoise Returns to Ttue Form 199 attorneys either do not practice law at all or practice it only as a sideline. at which time the sellers informed him that a $950. after Ernest and I left Memphis. What with being constantly slapped on the back and told that I was a good ole'boy by Bubbaand being periodically mumbled at by Mumbles. I had all I could do to protect my flanks' I had a was.6 million. of course. who had been the point man for his firm on the Dayton and St. The other partner ("Mumbles"f was an entirely different breed of Tlpe Number TWo. Trooping back to Memphis with Ernest. Louis deals. Bubba and . With that.the companywho had purchasedboth the Dayton and St. so I was in a strong legal position. In the meantime. About a month after we signed the agreement. signedcommission agreementwith Bubba and Mumbles.4 million ffgure. Our original commission agreement called for a purchase price of about $1. made an offer of $1.

Arnold Apathy stepped back into the bidding and raised his offer to $l million. I was becoming convinced that Bubba and Mumbles. Normally. but $200. this one from Pittsburgh. and he submitted a purchasecontract that calledfor $1. having witnessed how Bubba and Mumbles had a penchant for nitpicking and draggingthings out. Following the final Pittsburgh offer. Bubba and Mumbles continued to resist. and all three had drifted away while Bubba and Mumbles continued to excel in the art of fiddle playing.275million.4million offer and Arnold Apathy. After many hours of negotiations. the offer had a number of onerous strings attachedto it. fust about the time I was ready to throw in the towel on the Memphis deal. But in this case I had managed to bring no less than three buyers to Memphis.However. After a few more weeks of ffddling. the pittsburgh buying group upped its offer to $1. I was able to come up with yet a third prospective buyer. another one of the Pittsburgh partners came to Memphis. he was smart enough to attach an important condition: The offer had to be acceptedwithin 20 days. Nonetheless. However. Arnold increasedhis bid yet again-to $1. which resulted in Bubbaand Mumbles turning it down.2OO To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Mumbles managed to nitpick and chisel to such an exrreme that both Ernest's$ 1. About a week later. I succeeded getting one of the in partners in the buying group to rravel to Memphis and meet with Bubba and Mumbles. but the terms of the new offer were even more onerousthan those in the first offer. either out of sheer stupidity or masochistic design. I felt I was in great shape. if I was lucky enough to find just one serious buyer for a property.025 million over the mortgages.s$950. Shortly thereafter.000offer dissolved beforemy eyes.1 million. Bubba and Mumbles managed to play all three hands against each other so clumsily that they ended up with no offers at all.000of the purchaseprice was to be in the form of a l}-year secondmortgageat the rate of 6 percentper annum. he returned to Pittsburgh to discussthe deal with his partners. and to my surprise.were intent on ftd- .

1 million offer.the tortoise in me decided to press on and present the deal to a few more prospectivebuyers. Mumbles sent me a telegram from New York stating that he and Bubba would accept Gentleman fim's $1. of course.000. I receivedanother telegram from Mumbles . In the end. too/ was prepared make a to Memphis. And. lo and behold. As I emphasized earlier. bluffing they have staying power.The Tbrtoise Returns to Tlue Form 2O1 dling their projects into bankruptcy. In an apparentstate of panic in which the Memphis Muttonheads again tried to play all the prospective buyers against one another. so there was no deal. Which gave me hope. after Gentleman fim and I departedMemphis. I also wondered if they weren't just getting some sort of perversethrill out of having people make offers to them. but only on two conditions' that I had to agree to The flrst condition-surprise!-was second condition was that cut my commission to $50. the Cleveland buyer to ("Gentleman|im") indicatedthat he. though. I was starting to worry that I was getting pulled trip into wasting still more valuable time and money by making a fourth trip to the land of Bubbaand Mumbles. I found out that Bubba and Mumbles had made a special trip to New York in an attempt to revive Arnold Apathy's offer. after the usual ho-hum physical inspection. and back to Memphis I went. it became clear to me that Bubba and Mumbles were in even more serious financial trouble than I had originally suspected.Memphis must have looked like because French Riviera to the buYer.t cash over the mortgages. the Like the three previous prospects. A few days later. persistencewon out. However. this one from Cleveland. comparedto Cleveland.refusedto be hurried into an official acknowledgement. On this trip to Memphis. Gentlewealthy peopleis futile.1 million verbal offer o{ffcial by noon the next day. because man |im. however.The Gentleman |im would have to make the $1. I was able to come up with yet a fourth prospect. before officially writing the deal off as just another a bad experience. Gentleman )im made a verbal offer of $ 1.In fact. Incredibly.

Mumbles.t afford to stop trying to pur a deal together (aka "the previous investment trap. I explained to the now extremely panicked Bubbaand Mumbles that Gentleman fim was very serious about going through with a quick closing on their properties at the $ l.000fee called for in our agreement unless I could get Gentleman |im to come up to the original $1. I succeeded getting Genrleman fim to put his $ 1.')l The irresistible aroma of money won out.) Things were gettin g Wetty ugly. whatever you say. he would stil/ find a reason to argue that my commission was too high.2+ million asking price.) In the meantime/ unbeknownst to Bubba and Mumbles.l million ftgure. in fact.202 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? (who was still wandering the srreetsof New york trying to put together a deal) in which he informed me that he and Bubba were unilaterally canceling our commission agreement and that all the deals I had presented to them were offfcially off the table. experience had taught me that even if a seller believed that he would pay me my full commission if he got the price he was asking. In other words. regardlessof the outcome. Engagingin Napoleonrc hallucinations is the sport of choice for real esratedevelopers. so I had another major decision to make: Should I stop throwing good money after bad. it has less to do with selling price than with the seller'smental illness. it had been my commission that had been at the root of blowing up each of the other deals. He went on to say that there was no way I could expect to make the $140. this would be the last trip I would make to Memphis.ve always beenfascinatedby unilateral proclamations that imply that the personmaking them has the legal authority of an emperor. (Of course. He proceededto let me know that. but promised myself that. That's when Mumbles mysteriously and suddenlydeveloped the ability to speak clearly.{I. but reality was emerging. or was my investment in Memphis already so great that I couldn. I had already made an incredible six trips . and that they had better get their act together if they wanted to bail out. I had to make a decision. Sure.1 million offer in in writing. I decidedto try one more time.

The Tortoise Returns to Ttue Form 203 to Memphis. reallv means that the coachis on the vergeof unemployment' . I agreedto lower my commission to $75. my attorney and I managedto get through to Bubba' He was his good old. By then. after severalhours of negotiations. with an addedclause stating that Bubba and Mumbles to agreed accepta purchaseprice of $ 1. As we neared the closing. however.Similar to my Dayton deal. and I was certain that the fourth offer was also about to go south on me if something positive didn't happen very quickly.In eachof the first three Bubba and Mumbles had fiddled around until the offers had cases. however. Finally.1 million offer.000on a sale price of $1. if Gentleman |im's offer wasn't accepted. It also called for them to pay me a $75. of course. jovial self. and we began working toward a closing. both my attorney and I beganhaving difficulty getting either Bubba or Mumbles on the phone-a sure sign that storm clouds were starting to gather.1 million from Gentleman Iim. slipped away.1 million' We drew up a new commission agreement similar to our initial understanding. I rationalized {that terrible word again)that if I could make any commission at all on this deal. Subsequently. and had producedno less than four written offers.it was easyfor me into meaning that I was about to beto translate his assurances come the victim of another commissiondectomy if I didn't move fast. or even submitting the properties to another prospectivebuyer. So. spewing out a nonstop series of good-'ole-boy lines. It was sort of like an NFL owner assuringthe media that he has no intentions of ffring his head coach-which. I would look at it as found money. "everything was all set" and that he "didn't foresee any problems" with my commission. There certainly was no way that I was going to get lured into making another trip to Memphis. then. on the Friday before the first closing (the salewas to take place in two stages. He assured us that/ as far as he knew.because the second of the two properties was not yet completed).Gentleman ]im formalized his $i. including four trips with serious buyers.000commission if the deal was finalized.

he may have naively assumedthat it would be paid right after the closing. I thought it would be a good idea to rely totally on the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRule.e. given that the universal Attorney-toAttorney RespectRule was honored throughout the world. I fig_ ured that my attorney should have no problem dealing vrith his counterpart in Memphis. he was wrong. had been caught sucking his thumb in the reception room while the chips were changing hands behind closed doors. the agreementalso made it clear that it was the sellers.. They then proceededto give a whole new meaning to rwo words: gall and crooked. as well as to a representative of the title company handling the transaction. At the closing. fol_ lowed the Arnold Apathy line and pleadedbuyer impotence-i. I decided to send my attorney to the Memphis closing alone. However.I had never consideredthe possibility of Legalmanignoring the sacreduniversal Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRure and blatantly deceiving a fellow lawyer. responsibility to pay my commission. he did insist that my name be inserted in the purchase agreement as the broker of record.204 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Given that Bubba was an attorney and that my attorney had alreadyhad severaldiscussionsboth with Bubbaand the attorney representinghim and Mumbles in the sale of their properties. though sympathetic to my position. My attorne. all the parties worked in concert to close the deal while my attorney sat trustingly by himself in the receptionrooml Gentleman |im. the matter of my commission was between the sellersand me. If so. figuring that my presencewould iust serve as an irritating reminder to Bubba and Mumbles that I actually had to be paid a commission. unbelievably. In a strategicmove. so. . giving Gentleman |im the beneftt of the doubt. much like The Tortoise in the Dayton deal. No problem. Legalman then askedmy attorney if he would pleasewait in the reception room so the buyer and sellers could talk in private. To his credit. my attorney presenteda copy o{ my signed commission agreement to Legalman.

)It was obviously an absurd letter. we're not talking about fungle creatures here. it was impossible to cover every conceivableway that a seller could think of to prevent me from collecting my chips. I had been through many repugnant situations-both during and after my days at Screw U." It was postmarked Sunday {the day after it was written). he and Mumbles had already been planning to send me a letter claiming that I wasn't entitled to any commission at all. but it was quite a learning experience. at. while Bubba had been telling my lawyer over the phone that he "didn't foreseeany problems" with my commission. making it obvious that the sellers had intended for it to arrive subsequent to the closing on Monday. diabolical plotting in an effort to defraud. In other words.-but I had never seen anything quite like the shenanigansthat were resorted to in Memphis' when it came to out-and-out. we're talking |ungle lice' There's a pretty ugly difference between the two. I remember thinking to myself that no matter how careful I was. and real estate developersin particular tend to be very creative. there was no question in my mind that the only limit to crookednesswas a serial crook's creativit.Mumbles.The Tortoise Retutns to Ttue Form 2O5 When my attorney called me and relayed the bad news. At this point. Bubba.I was just awed by the extent to which these . and Legalman had eased my attorney out of the room and hurried through the proceedings before he could figure out what was happening. Then. and that it was completely null and void.the closing. that's par for the course in the real estate brokeragebusiness. Bubba and Mumbles were in a class by themselves' I wasn't shocked that the principals were trying to cheat me out of my commission. (ThoseNapoleonic proclamations never ceaseto amuse and amazeme.The letter was dated the day after Bubba had assuredme and my attorney over the phone that "everything was all set. The coup de grace came the day aftet the Memphis closing when I received a certifted letter from Bubba'sand Mumbles' attorney proclaiming that our commission agreementwas terminated for "bteach" on my part.

My attorney and I hired a bright young trial lawyer in Memphis to intervene before the second closing. and he proved to be aggressiveand tough. He sent Bubba'sand Mumbles' attorney a letter in which he stated. In addition to suing Bubbaand Mumbles. He was successful in obtaining an attachment against the property involved in the secondclosing. and enclosed another copy of the agreement. In addition. About a week after the suit was filed.I was able to salvage my reducedcommission as a result of having the usual three crucial legal tools in my bag: (i ) a real estate license in the state where the properties were located. It was my good fortune.and that the second closing could not occur until all construction and occupancy requirements were met. {2)a signed commission agreement/ and (3)plenty of certifiedmail in my ftles. he didn. for which I had to put up a bond. not to mention that it was far too late.t . Unlike Dayton. however. my attorney admonished Legalman for communicating directly with me when he was well aware that I was represented by an attoffrey. managed to avert a total catastrophe. among other things. Becausethe Universal Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRule had been violated. I had moved swiftly. what's the world coming to when you can't dependupon the universal Attorneyto-Attorney RespectRule? The next step is all_out anarchy. that the letter he had sent to me on the eve of the closing was unfounded and ridiculous. my attorney took the matter personally. I also suedthe title company. I wrote a letter to the president of the title company in which I stated that I thought it was shameful that his firm would be a party to such blatant deception. aided by a bit of Iuck. and. however.206 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? two felonious organisms were willing to go to accomplish their objective. that the sale of the smaller of the two Memphis properties had yet to be closed.I also told him that I was holding him personally responsible for seeing to it that my commission was paid at the second closing. Obviously. I again put him on notice about the commission agreement that existed between the sellers and me.

I also had to considerthe fact that the party in the wrong always has an advantage. that being the fact that the wheels of iustice turn very slowly.000being offered. like so many other developerswith whom I had dealt. the person in the right has to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees.Bubbaand Mumbles. Mr. The Memphis tale of deceit is a perfect example of why I have emph asizedthat the main purpose of real estate licenses. Shortly after the year in which I closed the Memphis deal.and pragmatism prevailed. I had examined the downside closely.made a $50.and certified mail is to avoid lawsuits. At the very least. to put it mildly. it again reminded me . T ' . However.The Tortoise Returns to Tlue Fotm zOV give a hoot what a shell-shockedreal estate agent thought. Why? Again. were in shaky financial condition. The Memphis deal also reaffirmed the fact that sellersparticularly Type Number Twos-will go to virtually any extreme to avoid paying a commission.the reality is that you probably are still going to end up losing. and I probabiy should have listened to him. I would likely net much less than the $50. In addition. again. travel expenses/and other related costs. undoubtedly out of financial desperation. If the person you're dealing with decides to go {or your chips. Bubba and Mumbles. brokerageagreements.000settlement offer' My Memphis attorney encouragedme not to be in any hurry to accept the of{er. you will net a lot less than you would to have made had it not been necessary litigate' Bottom line: You either win in the |ungle or you're unlikely to win at all. notwithstanding his knowledge of the legal tools you have in your bag. the day before the ftrst depositions were to be taken. In the meantime. And if that were to occur/ I probably wouldn't be able to collect anything at all. I decided to acceptit. . becausemy commission was not paid at the secondclosing. I had no choice but to face the reality that even if I won in court.Welcome to the fungle. The only thing that savedme was a court order that held up the proceedsof the sale. and I had to consider the possibility of both of them ending up in bankruptcy court.

this was an unusual role for Legalman. title companies.but it was yet another fungle dangerto be on the alert for in the future. but. as was not the case in Dayton. True. I pulled my hand away and took swift action. and that I should not allow myself to be lulled into a false sense of security iust becauseestablishedfirms are involved in a sale. Bubba and Mumbles did manage to nip off the ends of a couple of my ffngers. Finally. and had just played along with their phony act. . though. but at least I had been quick enough to walk away with sufficient chips to be able to afford a new paint job on my badly scarredshell. Granted. it put me on guard to the reality that Legalman was quite capableof participating in a devious plot againsta fellow attorney in an effort to do me out of my commission.2O8 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? that-like insurance companies-banks. hard-noseddefense. once the sellershad begun to swing their axe. All in all. I had spotted Bubba and Mumbles as Type Number Twos from the outset. the Memphis outcome was a plus. I also had not only securedall the necessary legal tools. and other institutions have built their corporate empires on human blood. as he normally abides by the Universal Attorney-to-Attorney RespectRule and just plays good.

. try to at least whittle down my commission-regardless of where I startedthe "bidding.It was quick. smooth. TWo factors. First. were especially significant in this deal.After my Dayton and Memphis experiences.. and there were no last-minute hitches.19 TnB Urumern INsuneNcrPorrcv y Dallas closing-the sale of two apartment developments totaling approximately 340 units-served as a model for the successful application of my reality' basedphilosophy. i. free of anxiety." 209 .I was a believer. I assumed that every seller worth his salt would. at a minimum.Cnaprr.e. in particular. I used my strong posture to persuadethe seller to sign a commission agreementbasedon St/zpercent of the total selling price rather than the 3 percent figure I normally used.

In f. My image was strong irom the outset. Since our agreementcontained an asking price of nearly $3 million. I was very conscious of the fact that it was not what I was saying and doing that made the differencein my ability to steer and control the situation. Shuffling PauI back and forth between Dallas and SanAntonio on my Learfet didn't do anything to hurt my image or rapport with him either. the price .I thought it would be interesting to see if starting out at a higher commission figure than I hoped to actualry receive would produce better results. Louis Massacrejust a few years earlier. rather. |ust a ye^r earlier. I always kept in mind that what I was actually shooting for was a commission in the areaof $90. as in all sales. Further. Learjet. with my Earth bro_ chure. I would then be able to afford to have my commission cut. when money finally changedhands. when the inevitable commissiondectomy attempt began.it was about 25 times greater than the percentageI had receivedin the St. The important thing was for him to believe that he had succeeded shafting the real estate agent who had in committed the dastardly sin of selling his property for him (and probably saving his financial hide in the process).000{based B percent of on the asking price|. I may not have been able to get paul to even sign a commission agreement.the ftnal selling price.I lived in SanAntonio.000. even if his belief was an illusion. I realized that if I was fortunate enough to conclude a sale. Now. The seller ("Paul Pervertte'. Sure enough. but commuted regularly to Dallas. [t was just a matter soothing the seller's sick mind. and I developed an unusually good rapport with him.but one that cailed for a commission percentage nearly double that spelledout in my previous agreements.would undoubtedly be considerablyless than the original asking price.21O To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? That being the case. it was my posture. maior deals-I not only was able to get Paul to sign an agreement. However. my commission was officiaily slatedto be about $165. and the addition of one other factot-a ttack record of having closeda number of veriftable.act.

(Technically.. then leasedhis half back to the seller.000. being a maior buyer of properties. however. It was an ideal situation. {The buyer was actually a real estate investment trust of which Manny was the president. one that reminded me Yery much of the associationI had enjoyedwith my elderly Type Number One busiprofessorat Screw U. More important. The second signiffcant factor in the Dallas closing was that I had an additional insurancepolicy going for me to make certain I got paid.7 million. becausethe buyer actually purchasedonly a one-half interest in the properties. and.e. I had submitted many presentationsto him. in addition to my commission agreement. when I was in the second-mortgage .Even though I had never completed a sale that with Manny. was the fact that I was dealing with a buyer {"Manny Moral") who was willing to break the apathy barrier and insist that paying my commission be a condition of the closing. by starting out with a higher commission rate in my "written understanding" I was able to walk away with about $20.he was sawy enoughto recognize that my work was very professionaland that I could be an excellent sourceof propertiesfor his trust.7 million.The Ultimate Insurance PoIicY 211 was closerto $2. and he appreciatedmy promptness in following up whenever he showed an interest in a property.airly. As a result.I There were many reasonswhy I enioyed such strong support from Manny.000more than I would have made under my standard3 percent formula. He had often indicated how impressedhe was with the thoroughnessand accuracyof my presentations.or nearly 4 percent of the final purchaseprice and more than 6 percent of the fuil purchase price (i. the total value of the property based on the one-half purchaseprice). but I believe the most important one was that he to had the foresight to realtzethat it was to his advantage seeto it I was treated f.it was less than $1.I the possessed other two essentiallegal tools: a brokerageIicense in the state of Texasand plenty of certified mail going from me to the principals. As usual.) My commission ended up being $100.

I was able to extract excellent cooperationfrom Legalman. After all the papershad been signed and the closing was wrapped up. Though it was obvious to me that I had Manny. did not even attempt a commissiondectomy-which was a first. and. as a result. I left Dallas to tend to another deal while my attorney stayedbehind to collect my fee.000 from paul. My attorney closed the letter by saying. I nonetheless brought my attorney along to the closing.sgrasp.s full supporr. When my attorney remitted the commission check to me. he enclosed a letter in which he pointed out that. What a differencea good relationship with the seller had made.s proceedsand $25. And it really didn. because by gaining the buyer. It was by f. had insisted that none of my money be held back.sfinancial bind. Manny.s full support I removed temptation from the seller. he did.ar the quickest sale I had ever made. however. In fact. And this time. things went so smoothly that I was never even sure whether paul was a Type Number One or Type Number Two.s attorney had wanted to escrow $100. Manny had assuredme that it wasn't necessary but I was glad that I did. since Paul was in the usual seller. which in turn made future closings even easier to handle. becauseof some of the usual last-minute contingencies. Manny. . becauseit also gave my attorney the opportunity to develop a good relationship with Manny.paul Pervertte had nowhere to turn.Helping paul pervertte avoid sin was one of the most humanitarian acts I have everperformed. with less than three months elapsing between the time my commission agreement was signed and the actual closing.I was beginning to seehow the buyer-supportfactor could be powerful enough to offset even a lack of one or more of the essential legal tools in the event I was unable to acquire them.t matter. I had come 180 degrees from the point where I had been iust a few years earlier.000 from my commission.212 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? ness. In the Dallas deal. I had every exit covered. and what a differencea good posture had made in enhancing that relationship. the closing went more smoorhly than I ever could have imagined. Also.As a result.

The Ultimate Insurance Policy 213 ". had been iust as unexciting. In Dallas.had that been the case. . As a result of this unique experience. . Although I couldn't count on having such a great insurance policy in every future closing." That statement summed up my current posture in a nutshell.I would not have had the material to write this book. Of course. as well as the scoresof deals that didn't close. . but I only wish that all my previous closings. I had pulled $100. What creates excitement is problems-excitement you don't need if you're looking to be paid a commission. in the Dallas deal I felt I had achievedthe optimum posture for a real estate agent' Not very exciting to write about. (this) indicates to me that he (Manny) certainly thinks a good deal of you.000 worth of chips off the table without even getting so much as a manicure.it was now clear to me that the easiestway to win againstintimidating sellerswas to put a great deal of effort into forming good relationships with buyers.

followed quickly on the heels of my Dallas success. so I felt comfortable. it was a complicated sale. In addition to having the support of the buyer. but also becauseit was structured similar to the Dallas deal. there were three other significant factors in the Omaha deal.t able to negotiate an agreement with the higher-thanusual commission rate I had securedin the Dallas deal.A y next closing in Omaha. i. First. but I was again working with Manny Moral.In Omaha.3 million for a 50 per- 214 . it was technically a purchaseof a one-half interest in the properties on a sale-leaseback basis. the deal called for Manny's company to pay $1.e. not only becausethere were 15 properties involved. I wasn.. This time around.CseprB" O 2 Srrcrrxc wrru WrNNrNc Fonrvrur.

I was able to get paid on the basis of a 100 percent sale rather than the 50 percent sale that was technically concluded. the real selling price was more in the areaof $4'5 million rather than the $9 million+ asking price that was stated in my commission agreement. there were a number of stipulations in the purchase agreement whereby Manny's company could end up owning the . The secondsignificant factor in Omaha was that even though the sale price was technically only about one-half of the original asking price. I received a commission check that was actually higher than the commission that was spelled out in my agreement. by having completely reversed the roles of intimidator and intimidatee.Stickingwith aWinningFormula 215 cent interest in the properties/ then lease its half back to the seller ("Scott Scamm"). and even though my commission agreement called for only 3 percent of the total selling price. I had done the same amount of work as if the deal had been closed on a 100 percent-sale basis. That's an additional $103.000 iust for putting in the time and effort to initiate and maintain a good relationship with Manny Moral. So. especially considering the fact that I didn. i.e.5 million.But becauseI had the full support of the buyer. It was a delicious triumph. or about $135.t have the advantage of having a Sr/zpetcent commission rate in my brokerage agreement as I did in the Dallas deal. Manny Moral's company was really buying the properties outright' Fur' ther. I was able to collect a commission of $238.000. since scott had legally sold only a one-half interest in his 15 properties. My rationale for insisting that my commission be basedon a 100 percent sale price was that both the buyer and seller were fully aware that the sale of a one-half interest was merely a stfucturing convenience and that. so I saw no reason why I should be penalized as a result of structuring technicalities' In fact. for all practical purposes.. he could have made a good argument that my commission should be only 3 percent of approximately $4.000. Accordingly. I was able to perform a "reversecommissiondectomy" on the seller.

clever people I would encounter in the real estate business. After getting Scott to sign my commission agreement. omaha looks like a throw- .t sharp. and not only fid he appear to be docile and confused.. About a month Iater. Type Number TWo. was a "dumb as a fox. Scott Scamm. folks tend to make the mistake of assuming that someone with a foreign accent isn. because-and perhaps this is a result of American arrogance-U. either through default or by purchasing them at avery low price.s real estate investment trust-with Scott. and one in which I was again able to earn while I learned. During most of the winter. Scott also had another tool that he employed with perfec_ tion. though. The third significant factor in Omaha was that I ran into a new variety of Type Number TWo.2n6 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? other half of the properties. In the caseof Omaha. This was the real clincher. I wondered. Scott was one of the most cunning. nice guy. you obviously get many subtle variations within each group. (Wasit possible. he also spoke with a thick Baltic accent. When you categorizepeople into just three group types. the seller.I registeredthe eventual buyer-Manny Moral. Not only was he a huge man. And. that he and Mumbles may have evolved from a common ancestral tree of horse thieves?) The dumb act is a disarming. becausea person who uses it does not posea visible threat to his targets. and we cruised down to omaha for another one of those thrilling episodes of brick staring.I left two of my secretariesbehind in omaha to gather the material needed to do presentations on the 15 properties. Fortunately. Shortly thereafter. I flew to Milwaukee to pick up Manny in my Leariet. as you might have guessed. so Omaha was still accessible to aircraft. default is precisely what endedup happening. It was a great learning experiencefor me. it was summer. tried-and-true gimmick that tends to relax the opposition. always scratching his head and professing to be confused. He was a bearlike figure-probably 240 pounds or more-and came acrossas a very docile. As it turned out.S.

Scott would be lunging to the other side of the plane. I mean. buzzing over Omaha at an altitude of fust a few hundred feet. and the ride was more frightening than our Leariet tour had been. Even Cleveland starts to sound tropical if you spendtoo much time in Omaha in the winter. About the only movement it was intended to allow for is scratching your ear.Sficking with aWinningFormula 217 back to the Ice Age. . if you're over 10 years of age.Terrifying!) After the normal back-and-forth hassling. That.Manny and I. in his thick Baltic accent. however. 240-pound reminding me of Brer Bear-hurling himScott Scamm----comically self from one side of the plane to the other and shouting. taking advantage of the nice weather/ I suggestedthat Manny. Scott. and I view the l5 propertiesfrom my Leariet. I darn near cracked my shell getting slammed around between Brer Bear and the sides of my flying coffin. ' . there we were. there's no way you can apturned out to be.there's no way you can stand up in a Learjet. I did not even bother to . So. we managed to get the deai basis' Having had proof in closedon the 50 percent sale-leaseback Dallas that I had Manny's full support.It's a wonder the plane didn't roll over. Nonetheless. After we landed. with the massive. continued our tour of the 15 properties on the ground.Just about the time Manny or I would be getting to the window through which he was pointing. we were just going over . and all the other cars on the road were being driven by clones of Scott Scamm. that we were just coming over . ro. bruised and battered. usually resulting in a "shall we dance" type of collision situation on our knees. . turned out to be an even worse experience' Scott drove us from project to proiect. If you've never flown on a Leariet. no. The inpreciate how ill-advised my suSSestion side of aLeafiet is about the size of a coffin. (That night I had a nightmare that I was driving in heavy traffic in a small town in Lithuania. including a courageous goal-line stand by Legalman. we had iust passedover another one of his properties.

vee ius p&z over annuder vun of mine properties. .'.l 5) "Du . . .

Manny.I Stickingwith aWinningFotmula 219 attend the closing.I had my attorney collect the $238. and a track record of many major closingshad become my trademarks. I could not help but recall how iust a few years earlier I had startled everyone in that fi. it was not even necessaryfot me to take the time to be there myself. working from a posture of strength-which included the full support of the buyer-not only was it taken for granted that my attorney would be at the closing.rst deai in Cincinnati by showing up at the closing with my own attorney. and' it was a perfect note on which to end the year's work. By this time. the Earth brochure. Understandingthe reality of the Theory of Intimidation and the Posture Theory had led to the ultimate in real estate brokerage: the performanceof a "reverse commissiondectomy. beyond a shadowof a doubt.Groveling around on my hands and kneesfor bonesnow seemeda distant nightmare to me.000 commission check for me while I was off working on other deals." I love you. but what his posturewas when he said or did it. . the Leatiet.Instead.I had againproven to myself. In Omaha. Omaha was the last sale I closed during the ftrst l2-month period in which I implemented my reality-basedphilosophy. Now. that it wasn't what a person said or did that mattered.

I CneprB2X " ANswEn: Nor ro Bn INrrrvrroanBo isplayedon the following pageis a summary chart of the dealsI've describedin the previous six chapters. No matter how good is you are/ you will only close a small percentageof your deals.It therefore logically follows that having as many deals in the hopper as possiblewill directly affect the number of deals you close. 220 . it.s important to realize that they representonly a small fraction of the total number of deals that I worked on during that time period. the law of averages a salesman'sbest friend.Though all these sales were closed during the first year following the implementation of my reality-basedphilosophy. As everyone who has had any experiencein selling knows. Without an understanding of the Theory of Sustenanceof a Positive Attitude through the Assumption of a Negative Result.

.i > EEAiAd EEEo : E.^>Ftr .E a * !ts x ai tr) 'a -n-i C HHF?s € tr E h g -It :.g x rg c) 6t6l @ H(\ oo 8 H'$ 5 P./ C 99 iag.e . . i e.-i .Y a)E ul't- bgH sa.cici 5555 $LoOOOO $$OOOO drnrnOC)o c.lOcOrnOcQ o\ .! 8E7 ? e o a) E d:SE .) IJE O -*d(U ! 9? 3 o .l 9.i.o: \) H6*U I E a v).hQO= !!999H idtrtrtra. 0)OJOO()Q dddd-H H H F ^^^^A F F A E* Ea F sni Ss i ( "" F E !S E e ls k = d J }EH F( 0)CJOOO> O O c) dHy O OE eeee:Ei OOO()Otr ddatrtr0.o A * H .aggg(! (! (i <! (i S+iclcli ePp99= !!HHH\V si H3 .as?o ^AA 5 E$ s 'E qr Si x:.)Y .ti u) /4-d-H HtsFFF! d(!(!(!(!trr o.: 6r.d too tr€! (!- FsE.- dcl rr+ .i o\ o\ d 4 = U€ F--.( E I ggT .r'F E o'E X d\d+Sj+ @ roooLn\ou) e (h Fc.E-d= (si 9 s (!trie ..A> s - .'i \J \.g O* 8a vi+oc.i c)'.: E:E.9 r4-!3 lr Fdt =xxxxx xxxxxx =)<xxxx ugv .e .

It was my relentlesspursuit oI reality-'my determination to recognize and acknowledge truth no matter how unpleasant it might be for me to do so-that was most responsiblefor my being able to turn the tables on the intimidators who coveted my chips./ This is the theory that proved to be the foundation for the rest of my philosophy. "Next. The disappointment and frustration I endured in working on the scoresof properties that did not close would have totally discouragedme had it not been for my understanding of the reality that most dealsdo not close because factors beyond of one'scontrol. In other words.The failure to recognize and acknowledge reality is a lethal problem. becauseyou cannot take proper action unless you correctly perceivethe facts. developing the mental toughnessto say to yourself.I realized that my successor failure would rest more on the implementation of the Theory of Reality than on any other factor. Once I had developedmy reality-basedphilosophy. all my other theories combined would not have given me the results I obtained. or it will automatically work against you. I believethat one of the most important keys to happinessis having the ability to move on." It doesn't matter whether you/ve been shaftedin a business deal or jilted by a sweetheart. nor could the perfect implementation of the operational techniques I developedhave led to success. as just part of the game.e 222 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? it's unlikely that I would have closed even one of the dealslisted in this chart. One of the most important words when it comes to mental-health maintenance is "next. but the way they actually are." will give you a new outlook on life. Without it. (Reality is neither the way you wish things to be nor the way they appear to be.. Only after I had correctly analyzedthe brutal nature of the Businessworld fungle was I able to structure a reality-based . Given that so many things in most people'slives have a habit of not working out asplanned. Either you acknowledge reality and use it to your benefit. I came to view bad endingsas nothing more than temporary setbacks.

fallen comrades-real estate agentswho lost their dignity. however. and Scott Scamm in . If you think this applies only to real estate brokerage. in some cases. This is what allowed me to benefft from reality rather than allowing it to work againstme. What I ftnally came to realize. Mr. all of my techniques were directly or indirectly aimed at the most important reality of all: No matter how well I performed my job. Relative to many of the childish rules taught in numerous how-to and successbooks. When I look back on |ungle characterslike my Type Number Three professor in my ffrst deal in Cincinnati.lt was reality that had led me to this fifth step of what I had always heard describedas "the /our steps of selling. relative to the devastatingconsequences that are likely to result from following such naive prose." One last time in honor of all those brave. and Memphis: Closing deals is not the name of the game. In that event/ return to page one immediately and start reading again-slowly this time. ftngers. Bubba and Mumbles in Memphis. As a natural consequence my reality-basedphilosophy. Dayton. It wasn't until I forced myself to stop being an ostrich and acknowledge reality that I was able to start making seriousheadway in the |ungle. was that whether or not I accepted them did not changethe fact that they existed. Bigshotte in Dayton. and. One's exit strategy must be focusedon walking away with chips in one'shand.Answer: Not to Belntimidated 223 philosophy and techniques for putting that philosophy into action. the reaiities of the |ungle don't seemall that bad.entire hands on the battleffelds oI far off enemy strongholds like Omaha.In every areaof life-whether business or personal-getting paid is the bottom line. no matter how many deals I closed. Like most people I had known over the years. however.it's only a means to an end. the realities of the fungle may seem brutal. I had often been guilty of ignoring the realities of the Businessworld fungle because I had difffculty accepting their brutal nature. the bottom line was getting paid.you missed the book.

Nor should you feel contempt for Legalman.224 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Omaha. I guessI still have a perverseadmiration for all those Type Number Ones. Regardless what some fungle predatorswould like you to believe. Though it .If you think otherwise.so never allow a master intimidator to con you into thinking otherwise. Remember. All they were trying to do was win by the rules of the game. looking out for your own interests doesnot conflict with your doing a good job for the person who is supposed to pay you. You must understand that he is not singling you out when he kills your deal. it's amateurish to be mad at your opponent iust becausehe outwits you. He doesn't discriminate when it comes to killing deals. What the heck. All you're doing is helping of him to not "forget" about your cut. Me? I keep reminding myself of the Ice Ball Theory and try to remember that business is just a game within the biggergame of life. you don't necessarily get what you deserve. I can't help but experiencea warm feeling of nostalgia. If there's one thing Legalman is not. you may well skeleton waiting for your end up turning into a cobweb-covered commission check to arrive. you do have a right to be fully compensatedfor your services. fungle creatureslove it when someoneis ignorant enough to give them help. Believe me. which is how indigenous creatures ftght for their place on the fungle food chain. It's ali part of the game. On the conftary. they assumethat you will always do what's in your best interest/ so why disappoint them? Unfortunately. It's iust that the game happensto be played in a iungle-the Businessworid|ungleand the rules are pretty loose. they were just taking their best intimidation shots at me. Twos and Threes who made so many hig plays against me. On the other hand. just becauseyou admire an opponent's ability doesn't mean you should help him get more of your chips. it's prejudiced. one of the realities of the Businessworld|ungle is that no matter how well you do your job. And when you're playing a game. but they certainly don't expect it.

be a good sport about it and give him his due credit-but. People have often asked me how they can tell whether or not they are properly coping with intimidation.| . is seriously considering adopting this test as part of the school's curriculum. (I am honored to tell you that the board of regentsat Screw U. for goodnesssakes. So if Legalman should be successfulin stopping you on downs at the one-yardline. the truth of the matter is that he's just as happy to kill the next guy's deal as yours.be sure to developa strategy for neutralizing him in your next encounter. I have designedthe following test. To help each reader determine the answer to this question for himself.Answer: Not to Be In timidated 225 may not seem like it when it's your deal that's in his crosshairs.

Do you ask Legalman's permission before going to the rest room? 3.226 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? HOW WELI ARE YOU HANDTING THE IMTIMIDATORS IN YOUR IIFE? l. Do you often get invited to dinner. only to discover that you're the first courseon the menu? 2. Are you working longer and harder hours. Did you go to the last costume ball dressed a hare? 9 . Do you ffnd yourself panting whenever a Court Holder enters the room? 7. but just getting older? Are you in awe of peoplewho wear white hats? Do you often ask your mirror: MfuroL mfurcr On the wall. Who has the most positive attitude Of them all! . Do you walk around feeling secure becauseso many people have told you. Do you often wake up in reception rooms only to ftnd that you've been sucking your thumb and playing with your yo-yo? as 8 . only to have your mirror answer back: "Spareme. . "Don't worrt I'll take careof yott?" ." 6. .

(In fact. don't take yourself so seriously. did you always want to grow up to be a goodole'boy? 1 5 . Have you noticed your ftngers getting shorter and shorter eachyear? 11. at the very least. . When your house went up in flames and the firemen came crashing through to save you/ were you sitting in your favorite arm chair calmly playing the fiddle? 12. I just wanted to see how seriously you take yourself. .you flunked. And remember. . . Why? Becauseit was a trick test.above all. My hope is that.Do you bark a lot at closings? Grading scale: If you answered either yes or no to any of the above questions. No matter what your feeling is about the rest of my philosophy. chill out . I succeeded this book in getin ting you to think about the Ice Ball Theory. Do you become easily infatuated when someone tells you what a great iob you're doing? 13. . Do you find yourself bluffing more but walking away with Iess? 1 4 . it's just a game.Answer: Not to Be Intimidated 227 10. it's not going to matter much 50 years from now. with all due respect. you salvaged something from these pages if you can accept the reality that nothing you do is going to matter much 50 billion years from now anyway. When you were a little boy.) So relax .

228 To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? Oops! Gotta be running along now.Maybe I'll be seeingyou around the fungle from time to time. . have to keep moving while he's still daydreaming. iust saw an opening to the left of some hare out there in the |ungle. and trade Legalmanstories. and perhaps we can reminisce about our undergraduatedays at Screw U.

Maybe I'll be seeing you around the lungle from time to time." ."Gotta go now.

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