THE CULTURE CHAMELEON (PART 1)....

ISSUE 5

VOLUME 5

May- 2010

REFORM THROUGH REVOLUTION . 3

O UR COMMUNITY. I MAM M AHDI (AJFS) M ASJID CAMPBELLTOWN ... 6

P ATHOLOGY OF DIVORCE P ART 4 DOES I SLAM CONDONE V IOLENCE A GAINST W OMEN?... 7

Viewpoint
The Culture Chameleon
Praying at home or the Masjid and then sneaking out to party. Wearing Hijb around family and then turning into a fashion diva at school. One person, two worlds and a desperate struggle to juggle them both. This is the reality which many Muslims living in. We can call them cultural chameleons or describe them as having split personalities. Whatever the label, the situation is the same with often tragic consequences. We are not just referring to your community brother or sisters devastating death, but rather we refer to the many grievous examples of teens running away from home, getting into drugs and much more the worst of which is turning away totally from Islam, rejecting it completely. We are not exaggerating. Its a reality and those who deny it are either wilfully blind or pitifully naive. It is time that we addressed the situation seriously. First there must be awareness of the reality and knowledge of its causes. The next step is to know what to do when faced with it directly. And finally, we need to know how to nip the problem in the bud because an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.

Continued on page 2 >>>>

Editorial
Assalm Alaykum! down and lower your gaze for indeed this is Fima proceeding to Paradise. She then will ask the Almighty: O my Lord! I would like my status Welcome once again to the Month of Jamadi Al-Awwal Al-Fajr be known in this Day. Thus, the Almighty Allah addresses her: O daughter Newsletter! This time round we are back with more to enlighten of My beloved! Look back and find whoever there is a love in their heart you about the issues facing our community. We have been continu- for you or for any of your offspring to take their hands and enter them ing on our regular columns on the pathology of divorce (violence into Paradise. It is on that Day the she will be as selective as a chicken against women), the chapter of modesty and the life of our Prophet. selects the good seeds over the spoiled ones. Then the Almighty Allah will Mohamed Tufayl this month gives us a poignant reminder of the address those who loved the holy Fima (as): Look back and find whoIslamic revolution in Iran whist continuting on the theme of raisever loved your for the love of Fima, whoever fed you for the love of ing our children; we have the first part of a two part series on the Fima, whoever clothed you for the love of Fima, whoever offered you a culture chameleon a phenomenon we see every day! drink for the love of Fima then take their hands and enter them into Paradise. Imam Bqir (a.s) then added: On that Day none will be left We would also like to take advantage of the section here to send save the one who has been doubtful (about the status of Fima), or the peace and blessings upon Lady Fima Al-Zahra (as) on this special one who has been Kfir or hypocrite. Biharul-Anwr, vol.8 p.51 day in which she departed this world. With reverence to the Leader of all women of the Universe (Sayyeda-an-Nis al-Alamn) I would We hope you enjoy this months issue, and we strongly encourage like to inspire you with the following hadith: readers to provide us with feedback. You may contact us through info@al-fajr.org.au - May Allah be pleased with us all Inshallah Jbir; the companion of the Prophet (saw), asked Imam Bqir (as) to inform him of the status of Lady Fima (as). Part of the Hadith Wassalm reads: On the Day of Judgment people will be ordered: Bend your heads Mustafa Barakat and Abidali Mohamedali (editors)

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May 2010

CAUSES
Although each situation is different, there is a general list of what can cause this worst nightmare of any Muslim parent. 1- Lack of strong Islamic foundation in the home: As with most things, it begins in your own backyard. If we arent raising our children as Muslims with a strong understanding of what it means to be a Muslim, then we cant expect them to be happy about having to follow strict rules all the time. Its also important to note the difference between Islam and culture. If we dont pray five times a day or encourage our kids to pray, yet freak out if a female family member walks out with her head uncovered, then we really need to straighten out our priorities. 2- Double standards: Related to the first point, here were talking about when parents are setting a double standard for themselves and their children: in public they seek to integrate themselves within Western society, to achieve the Western societies dream of big house, fancy car and being best friends with the Joneses next door; yet at home they are obsessed with their children following cultural practices that arent even necessarily Islamic. It should be no surprise, then, when the children follow in their parents footsteps and start living a double life themselves. 3- Lack of personal understanding / conviction of Islam: This is another major factor in youth straying from Islam. Again related to the first point if we dont have a strong Islamic foundation in the home, then there will be most likely a lack of understanding of what exactly it means to be a Muslim. If we dont know the reason behind something, how likely are we to do something if you view it as restrictive and interfering? If we tell our children to pray because if they dont they will burn in Hell, then, they wont be doing it out of love for Allah (SWT) they will be doing it out fear and not even fear of Allah (SWT), but fear of the parent! Similarly, if you tell a girl she has to wear Hijb because otherwise she will stain the familys honour or something like that, then once shes exposed to the Western mentality of freedom (and total lack of anything resembling honour) she wont give two hoots about the Hijb or your notions of honour. On the other hand, if your child has a personal relationship with Allah (SWT) and knows exactly why we do some things and stay away from others, they will be far more willing to tough it out and continue to obey Allah (SWT). 4- General teen rebellion: Sometimes, teens can just be teens. Common sense is a rare thing amongst youth these days and it shows sadly, some take it too far beyond the streaked hair, Tattoos and pierced bellybutton (hey, as long as its covered up by Hijb, be cool with it!) and make some really bad choices. Being intoxicated by the passions of youth we never ponder for a moment that we shall we questioned by Allah (SWT). 5- Insecurity: This is something which affects people everywhere, regardless of

their race, religion or even age. The desire to want to fit in and become an accepted member of the crowd is human nature sometimes it can be a good thing; other times it can be so harmful and detrimental. For girls, the issue is often about body image and beauty, which is why Hijb becomes such a struggle. For guys, it can be about proving their manliness (by pursuing other girls or getting involved in tough guy activities like drinking alcohol, drugs etc). Build your childs self-esteem at home and let them know that they dont need to seek approval from anyone except Allah (SWT). Complimenting ones children, praising them, letting them be confident in their faith and in themselves. Tell your son that hes cool. Tell your daughter that shes beautiful. Dont demean them or belittle them; honour them as the Holy Prophet (saw) honoured his daughter Sayyida Fimah (as) by giving her his sitting place. 6- Bad companions: The Holy Prophet (saw) said: The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him. Undoubtedly, the kind of people your kids hang out with will have a huge influence on them especially at school, which is what a teens life pretty much revolves around. Non-Muslims (and even socalled Muslims) who have totally different standards of morality will definitely make life difficult for your kid: challenging Islam and belittling all that it stands for. While we know that many will say its a great Dawah opportunity or that it builds character and can be a way to strengthen faith, the reality is that not all youth are strong enough to emerge the company of such people unscathed. Sadly, we have lost too many of the younger generations to Shaytns misguided lifestyle and we cant use a minority of successful young Muslims to deny that reality. The Messenger of Allah (saw) informed us that : A man follows his friends religion, you should be careful whom you make friends with. 7- The Adolescent Myth: This mentality is one of Im young, let me have fun and then Ill be religious when Im older! Its an attitude of irresponsibility, immaturity and misunderstanding of Islam and the purpose of our lives. By absolving oneself of responsibility, its easier for teens to indulge in the harm without feeling so guilty about it. Thus, its obviously very important to instil a sense of responsibility and dutifulness to Allah (SWT) in our youth basically, to abolish this kind of mentality. The Holy Prophet (saw) said : An intelligent person is the one who calls himself to account and does deeds to benefit him after death and a foolish person is he who follows his desires and hopes from Allah (SWT).

SYMPTOMS
How do you know if your child, your sibling or your friend is a cultural chameleon? It can be difficult to spot it, but however much a kid can try to sneak around, those closest to them can usually figure out whats going on. We shall discuss the symptoms and solutions next month, InshaAllah

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May-2010

Viewpoint Reform through revolution

by MuhammmadTufayl Mohamedali

Adopted at a time when tensions between the two superpower poles that the World was divided into was at its peak, The Iranian Revolution established The Islamic government in Iran, with this basic motto. Neither the West nor the East1 was sufficient to provide justice only Islam could, can and will continue do so. Though a controversial figure, even in the Islamic World, the leader of the Islamic Revolution and founder of Islamic Republic of Iran Imam Khomeini (ra) has much to offer. Aside from his political involvement, in the running of the government, he was a symbol of spiritual and moral purity and an example in every area of life a modern day example of what is expected of the companions of Ahlul-Bayt (as). Modern, because most readers of this article will admit, that they can all relate to the life and experiences of this companion, because at one point in time, he was their contemporary. Indeed, the ways and examples established by the Ahlul-Bayt (as) are something that we are all familiar with and that we all try in some way or the other to adopt. However, it makes this task much easier, when we can, instead of looking only at history books, turn to the scholars, who are the closest practitioners of the ways and examples established by the Ahlul-Bayt (as), easier because they are more knowledgeable in this field and secondly because we have the advantage of being able to relate to them in the 21st century. Through them, we can see how we should live and conduct ourselves though, it may be appreciated that national differences and ways of life differ, the world in the 21st century is more or less flat. The East today is just as Western as the West itself, and this is because of a myriad of factors, which have enabled the Western ideology to seep into the lives and cultures of people all over the World1. With the collapse of the Communist ideology which was another extreme, Western ideology won a temporary monopoly. It was amidst this environment that the stand of Islam was made, right there in the secure zone of the West, which directly challenged the Western Imperialism imposed on it a classic reflection of the rise of Islam, when the Arabs and their pagan ways had been established not only on the lands, but also in the psychology of people, before Islam rose to challenge and shatter these, under the leadership of the great Prophet Muammad (saw).

both stood for one message, one cause Submission to One God and freedom from injustice. The latter was the source while the former is only a model that reflects what the source aimed to produce and establish. It was, this very platform upon which Imam Khomeini (ra) directed the revolution and when in an interview he was asked do you intend to take Iran 300 years back? he replied I wish to take it back even further, to 1400 years implying clearly, that it was indeed the government of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) on which he wished to design, the government of his nation and it is because of his dedication, diligence and his vision, aided by Allah, that today we see a nation that stands for Islam and is a base for spreading of the teaching of Ahlul-Bayt (as). Needless to say, the relationship of politics and Islam is inseparable, a statement mentioned by Imam Khomeini (ra) himself many times, when explaining the effects and intentions of the West in imposing imperialism over free peoples of Islam he said that it is in the division of religion and politics that the West has failed and it is this very ideology that has sadly been imprinted in many due to the ongoing influence of western ideology. Islam is a wholesome concept that encompasses all the requirements and laws of running a family, a community, a nation and indeed, competent to govern the entire globe to separate different components, is in itself an injustice and a misunderstanding of what Islam represents it is a socio-political, economic-cultural, social -scientific way of life and in the words of Imam Khomeini (ra) is the highest degree of civilization1. The lessons, available are many but suffice to say that a successful overturn of a corrupt regime is impossible without a revolution. Applied in an individual context, each individual must initiate a revolution against his self in order to be able to establish the requisite purity and moral qualities, which will enable the growth of a peaceful, just and harmonious society. A revolution inevitably involves sacrifice and loss, but the loss of corruption in the process is a greater benefit, and the sacrifice of the good in the process goes not unnoticed for Allah says and most surely We are a vigilant multitude (Al Quran 26:56).

On a closing note, the leadership of Imam Khomeini (ra) saw not only an establishment of an Islamic government, but also in the process reflected on in minor scale the great revolution of Karbala, by Imam usain (as) the father of free men! The lessons from the revolution of Karbala are unending but suffice to say that Islam survives on revolutions, and revolutions survive on This refusal to accept foreign influence is similar to the domination sacrifice for only one truth service to and submission to Allah that which was rejected internally in Arabia 1400 years ago and prepared the fertile ground for the introduction of Islam because Continued on page 4 >>>>

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May 2010 (SWT) and it is through the blood and efforts of revolutions and revolutionists that evil is overcome, reformation is achieved and peace is restored. In whatever context you look at it, internal or external, individual or society, nation or global freedom from injustice and corruption can only be won through striving in the path of Allah (SWT). Each of us has within us a revolutionist, and each of us has within us our first revolution to lead the examples are many, the guidance and support is there for those who seek and

the results are evident, the question is are we brave enough to reform through revolution? References: 1- H. Ansari, The Narrative of Awakening: A Look At Imam Khomeinis Ideal,
Scientific and Political Biography (From Birth to Ascension), (The Institute for compilation and publication of the works of Imam Khomeini (international Affairs Department I.R. Iran)

Our Community
This is the third instalment of a new Al-Fajr feature called Connecting the dots. Each week we will profile one of Sydneys many Shia Islamic centres. Please email us with your suggestions on interesting profiles or facts about your local centre on abidalim@gmail.com.

Masjid Imam Mahdi - Campbelltown

by Abidali Mohamedali

Julie Karaki, a midwife by profession, got introduced to the AlMahdi mosque almost 9 years ago. I was not raised with a mosque in my childhood I found it quite difficult to get used to what exactly the mosque is and what it can provide. Soon though, she found a special bond and connection with the Mosque. It really helped me have a feel of how great a relationship one can have with Allah (SWT) and how strong it can be if you frequently visit His house.

is frequented by people from all cultures and walks of life. The youth particularly frequent the centre most often and have begun to play a significant role in the daily activities of the Mosque. I guess our major plan is to just be able to show the youth that the religion they have is a complete way of life and try to get them involved as much as possible to better their relationship with the Almighty To achieve this, the mosque is embarking on several projects including organizing youth camps and retreats in the near future. They are also in the final stages of publishing their own website which will be up in two weeks time. The environment of the mosque and the mixing of the community with diverse cultural and language backgrounds is certainly a real plus for the Mosque. The instructions are often translated into Farsi and Arabic and members love to meet and greet new people to the centre. They also host visiting lecturers and occasionally have unique programs that are certainly worth the visit.

Today, being one of the most active members of the community in Campbelltown, Sister Julie has made tre9 WATSFORD RD mendous strides in making others feel as Campbelltown, Australia. she feels. Being a teacher of the Islamic studies classes and the president of the Fortnightlyyouth committee, she has brought the - Lectures by Sheik Jihad - Wednesdays mosque closer to the people. I really just - Islamic movie nights - Fridays wanted to get the children used to being in the - Youth discussion nights - Fridays mosque and Alhamdullillah they are involved - E Hawza Classes - Mondays with it now and I often hear from their mothWeekly ers that Mondays are the highlight of their - Children classes (ages 4-15) - Mondays weeks - Dua Tawassul The Mosque was built over 10 years ago to cater for the Afghan community but today
- Dua Kumayl - Jumua' Prayers.

Our greatest plan is to get our children and youth involved and educated about the real Islam as much as possible. Her passion is contagious yet her humility is inspiring. I just try my best. .. my aim is to try and allow these people (youths) to get to Know and love Allah (SWT) as much as He has allowed me to love and know Him, because there is nothing worth (more than) this love. The Al-Mahdi mosque is situated a stones throw from the Campbelltown CBD and station and is a mere 30 min drive down the M5 from the city.

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May- 2010

Continuing from the last issue, we will analyse the topic of adultery and fornication, its evil nature and how we can avoid it based on the teachings of the Holy Quran in Surah Nur

Repentance from fornication

By Mustafa Barakat- Based upon a lecture by Sheikh Mansour Leghaei.

The prevalence of sexual promiscuity and indecent sexual behaviours in Australia is the cause of great concern. Boys and girls form a very young age are encouraged, nay pressurised, into illegitimate sexual relations. "The maternity wards of Central Coast Hospitals are never free of unmarried teenage mothers with unplanned pregnancies..." recalls Dr. Ali Samail from his obstetrics rotation during his last year of studies. Its unbelievable to see young unmarried girls heavily pregnant walk in with their parents or partners- what prospects do their children have? says a sister working as a receptionist at a medical imaging centre in Sydney. The epidemic is so widespread that the Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates that 32 % of births in 2005 were to couples who were not married compared to 15% in 1985.1 Fornication in Islam is a mortal sin, as it is an indecent act and an evil way of satisfying the sexual urge. Allah (SWT) has not only warned His creation not to commit such a transgression but he has also commanded us to keep away from it. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran: And go not nigh to Fornication, surely it is an indecency and an evil way. (Surah alIsr, 17:32) Those who have not kept away from illegitimately satisfying their sexual desire, will have to face not only the worldly consequences but more frightening are the dire warnings Allah (SWT) gives to those contemplating such actions. Allah (SWT) says And they who do not call upon another god with Allah and do not slay the soul, which Allah has forbidden except in the requirements of justice, and (who) do not commit fornication and he who does this shall (not only) meets punishment; (But) the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him, and he will abide therein disdained for ever (Surah Al-Furqn, 25:68-69) However, Allah out of his Mercy has given humans an opportunity to save themselves from whatever evil they have committed, by opening to us the door of repentance. Allah (SWT) in the Quran has given us hope

by revealing the following news: Say: O My Slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing sins) despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly He is OftForgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah Az-Zumar, 39:53). It is important to emphasise that despite the gravity of the sin, there is always room for repentance. We, therefore have the opportunity to escape facing the penalty by seeking forgiveness, the stages of achieving this is what we call repentance. The successful acceptance of repentance of our sins is not easyImam Alis (as) said: Avoidance of sins is easier than seeking (the acceptance of) repentance(V 154 Tuhaf al-Uqool). Though it might be a struggle to achieve repentance it would be highly unfortunate if a slave remains deprived of this Divine Mercy even though the paths leading to it are open to him. On the other hand if one appreciates the value of this gate of Divine Mercy then he will benefit from it greatly, as repentance is an elixir that not only removes the shameful stains of sins but it also polishes the heart and the life of all those who sincerely repented in this world. In the context of fornication, Allah has particularly invited the fornicator/adulterer to repent. Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Quran: And those two persons (man and woman) among you who commit illegal sexual intercourse, hurt them both, and if they repent and do righteous good deeds, leave them alone. Surely, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah An-Nis', 4:16) Not only does Allah forgive and exclude the real repentant, but He will also convert the evil deeds of that person into good deeds ... Except those who repent and believe and do righteous deeds. For those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah AlFurqn, 25:70) Again, not only does Allah (SWT) forgive those who repent and convert their evil actions into good ones, He also bestows His love and mercy upon them. Thus, the divine attribute of OftForgiving is almost always coupled in the Holy Quran with the attribute of Most Merciful. The Almighty Allah states: Verily Allah loves those who return to Him in (full) repentance and He loves those who purify themselves. (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:222)
Continued on page 6 >>>>

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May- 2010

Imam Bqir(as) is narrated to have said: Indeed Allah(SWT) is happier- when one of His slaves repents -than a traveller who finds his lost transport and provision in a dark night. (al-Kaafi 2:435). Imam Ali (as) in Dua Kumail cries to the Almighty, Oh Allah, I find no forgiver of my sins, no concealer of my ugly acts, and no transformer of any of my ugly acts into good acts but You. This dua has highlighted the fact that Allah has concealed our ugly acts from the public view, so that we may maintain our honour and dignity within the society.

It is actually highly recommended in Islam to conceal our sins and for those who had committed illegal sexual intercourse to repent between them and God rather than confessing their sin to the court. All jurists are unanimous that if the fornicator repents before their crime is proven to the court all their charges will be dropped. It is narrated from the Holy Prophet (saw) to have said: The one who has repented from his/her sin is like the one who has not sinned. (Biharul-Anwr 2:154). May Allah forgive all the believers from their sins Inshallah. This article will be continued with more details on the stages of repen-

This month, we shall continue our discussion on the major causes of domestic violence That of the sore misconception that Islam recommends violence against women.

The Pathology of Divorce Does Islam Condone Violence against Women?

Series of Lectures presented by Sh. Mansour Leghaei Written by Abidali Mohamedali

Wife bashing, a synonym in the colloquial Australian English, to mean domestic violence is jarring to the ears, but is common in some circles especially the family court of Australia. Horrified upon hearing this for the first time from the lips of a Muslim trying to justify it, I decided to look up what the statistics are in Muslim countries. The statistics floored me!1 Domestic violence is soaring in Muslim countries. Does Islam really condone violence against women? Have we not graduated from the days of jahiliyah? In this age of information, it is unfortunate that ignorance is still strife about the treatment of women in Islam. Often it is the case that such issues, such as domestic violence, are not discussed within groups of men due to the macho nature of man where he has to control his own affairs or that there are unspoken rules in the fraternity of men that a man has to live by to feel included. Very often, and very ignorantly, anti-Muslim propaganda presumes that Islam condones violence against women and will misquote one verse of the Quran (Suratun Nis verse 34) to justify their opinion.

In this chapter, we shall try to discern the precise meaning of this verse and determine whether or not Islam condones violence against women. We shall go through the verse word by word and suggest the correct English translation for the verse

One of the very common questions raised primarily by women is in regards to the beginning of this verse which is commonly translated as Men are the maintainers of women.. The misconception is that they think it says men are superior to women. This cannot be further from the Truth. The word Qawwmn is the exaggerated form of the word al Qim or literally the one who stands up. This is a term used to express protection or guarding of something. This terminology has been used several times in the holy Quran, most notably in the command for daily prayers where Allah says aqimus salt stand/protect/safeguard the This fact has not only permeated the enemies of Islam, some igprayer. The correct translation therefore is Men are (to be) the norant Muslims also unfortunately hold that opinion. There is firm protectors and maintainers of (their) women... The men certainly a cultural component to domestic violence and that should not be confused with the teachings of Islam. These people then quip, why should the men maintain their women? are condemned in the Holy Quran Say: Shall We inform you of the greatest losers in (their) deeds? (These are) they whose labour is lost in this world's life and they think that they are well Immediately, Allah (SWT) answers their question! Men have been versed in skill of the work of hands. (Kahf 18:103-104). These are granted fadhl, meaning to enjoy something more than others. those who justify their misdeeds by misinterpreting the Quran, Men are endowed, in general, with certain characteristics which not only are they the real losers but they will never get the opporthey enjoy over women and vice versa. Men are endowed with tunity to seek forgiveness for their actions. physical ability and rationalisation as opposed to women who are endowed with emotional intelligence and increased compassion It is important therefore to thoroughly understand the teachings (not to say that either do not possess the others quality, but that of Islam in their true context and once understood, the beauty the levels typically are concurrent). For this reason, because men and exquisite intricacy and justice in the words of the Almighty have a greater proportion of those endowments, their responsibilwill make us appreciate that indeed the psychology of relationity of protection, working and so on is increased and therefore ship elaborated by the Almighty is not only the most effective if must provide for their families. The translation therefore reads, used correctly, but is insightful and appreciate of the nature of man and woman. Continued on page 7 >>>>

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May- 2010 because Allah has provided one of them more than the other, and because they spend (to support their wives) from their means.

If a woman fails to meet the obligations described above, Allah (SWT) suggests three approaches to tackle the problem (note that ignoring the problem will not make it go away!): Logical approach ( ) or literally advise them. This has to be done mildly, wisely and repeatedly. It is insufficient to advise them once and expect change or advise them harshly and expect change. Even Prophet Musa (as) when commanded to speak to Pharaoh was advised first to advise him gently and mildly! Using a terms such as fear God and come back (to bed)3 which a mild admonition. Similarly, providing her with ayt and hadith regarding the punishments in the hereafter for her disobedience. If this does not work, then men are advised to use the: Emotional Approach: ( ) and leave them alone in the sleeping-places. Humans all have an emotional Achilles heel whereby a mere display of contempt, disgust, dissatisfaction, distrust etc. can have a powerful influence, far more than mere words (however logical they may be). Women particularly, respond more powerfully to such emotions and therefore, the second step to altering disobedient behaviour in a wife is to withdraw emotional attachment. This leaving them or wahjurhunna has to be done with dignity. Allah (SWT) advises His prophet when referring to the hypocrites that he should have patience with what they say, and leave them with noble (dignity). (Surah Muzzammil: 10). It is known that a man is cursed if he sleeps away from his wife when he is in the same town as his wife and therefore this verse does not mean sleeping elsewhere, Imam Bqir (as) says that the extent of this verse is that, instead of facing each other when sleeping, the husband should turn his face away to display his displeasure and in extreme circumstances sleep on another bed (or sofa). If this does not work then use the; Physical Approach: ( ) As this is the most controversial part of the verse, it is important that the words be translated accurately. The word dharb has four possible suggested meanings: It has been suggested by some jurists that it means to hit but this has been abrogated (mansukh) by hadith. We believe that it is impossible for a hadith to abrogate any verse of the Quran and neither is there any abrogation in the Quran itself (refer to introduction to Science of Quran series of lectures by Sh. Mansour Leghaei for more detail) and neither is there any support for this opinion. The second opinion is that it is an expression for sexual intercourse. According to most Arabic dictionaries dharb means when something is on top of another additionally, this word is used commonly in Arabic to mean intimacy between animals. Although the literal meaning can be acceptable, the context in which this word appears in this verse negates its literal meaning. The third opinion is that it means reduce her maintenance. This opinion stems from a hadith from the Holy prophet (saw) who says I am surprised of a man who hits his wife but he deserves more to be hit. Do not hit your wives with timber, for there is a punishment in that, hit them by reducing their food and clothing4 . This hadith is narrated in
Continued on page 8 >>>>

Having understood the responsibilities of the man in a relationship, what is the responsibility of the women? Allah (SWT) divides these into three major characteristics/responsibilities: She has to be righteous( ) in her actions and speech ) Qunt is the (in relationship with the Almighty) She has to be humble and obedient ( word used to define the mixture of humbleness and obedience. It is only this verse in the Quran, interpreters agrees, that Qunt is used not only for Allah (SWT) but for a human (in this case the husband). By obeying the command of Allah (SWT) to be humble and obedient to ones husband, one is indirectly obedient and humble to Allah (SWT)! She has to ( ) Guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard. Allah (SWT) has ordered women to guard their chastity and the property of her husband. This means that in the absence of their husbands, women should not indulge in activities that may diminish her chastity (such as chatting to strange men, dressing immodestly etc.). This also means that a woman is obliged not to behave differently when in the presence of the husband or out of his presence such that hadith mention that she is not permitted to even dress differently or put a different perfume in the absence of her husband.

If the woman does not meet the above responsibilities particularly if she shows, takhfna, signs of no concern to her responsibilities (disobedience). This refers to the first signals or signs of a brewing dissent in a woman leading to nushz, literally meaning to stand and leave. In this context though, it means that she abandons or refuses to meet with her obligations. According to Islam therefore, the meaning of nushz is abandonment of either of the husband or wife from the obedience that is compulsory on each one of them2. Therefore, for a man to be Nshiz is that if he hits his wife, if he is not providing for his wife, if he has an ill conduct with his wife, etc. These are out of the context of this discussion and will be tackled later. For a woman to be Nshizah is if she does not meet her two obligations: Avoids her husband sexually without any religiously accepted excuse (e.g. not in mood) Exits the house without the consent of her husband (although jurists differ on the context). There is no obligation on ladies to do the home duties (unanimous according to all jurists), although following the tradition of Fima al-Zahra (as) it is recommended for her to work in the home.

Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (5)- May- 2010 book whose author is unknown, the hadith is mursal (chain is not mentioned) and the meaning is rather farfetched. The fourth opinion is that it means hit them but with certain conditions. This is the most plausible opinion of the meaning of this word. 1. The verse indicates permissibility, not obligation. 2. No jurist has ever accepted the general meaning of the ayah and therefore hitting has to be within the boundaries defined by hadith. 3. Light hitting is permissible if she has been confirmed to have committed adultery or when all the other techniques have not worked. The Holy Prophet has said If she commits a confirmed adultery, turn away from them then hit them a hitting that is not hard (not arrogant but friendly), if she regrets it, dont take it any further5 4. A friendly hit means according to Imam Bqir (as) means hitting with Miswk (light, small branch used for brushing teeth).6 5. Hitting the face and other vulnerable limbs is forbidden. The Prophet (saw) has said Any man who slaps on the face of his wife, the Almighty Allah orders the Angel in charge of Fires to hit his face seventy times inside the Hell fire.7 6. It is forbidden on him to hit his wife due to her verbal abuse, or refusing to do the house work. Shibul Jawhir says the husband, in other than the right to tell his wife not to go out or the sexual right, has no right to punish her8 7. If it causes her bruising or bleeding or fractures he is liable even when permissible to hit. 8. It is better for a man not to hit his wife (when permissible). 9. It is better to divorce a woman than hitting her. Imam Kdhim (as) says that an intelligent person is one who chooses the bad when he has to make a choice between bad and worse. 10.Hitting is the habit of Omar bin Khattb not the tradition of the Prophet (saw). Ayesha is narrated to have said The Prophet (saw) never hit any of his servants or wives or anything.9 Similarly, Zohri has narrated that Omar was hitting his wives and servants.10

Prophet (saw) told her that he suffered the pressure of the grave due to her ill-conduct with his family.13 On the Day of Judgment some men will be resurrected as tyrants although they did not own more than a family.14

For Women:
O Ali! If there is any evil, it is the tongue of woman.15 Whoever has a wife who hurts him, God will not accept any of her prayers or any of her good deeds until she pleases her husband or she will be the first to enter Fire.16 Hawla (a perfumer) was once visiting the house of the Prophet (saw) crying. Upon inquiries by the wives of the Prophet she replied that she had come not for business but to complain to the Prophet about the treatment of her husband. The Holy prophet gave her a long sermon on the rights of husbands and wives of which some part of it reads, There is no woman who is having an angry look toward her husband except that her kohl (eyeliner) will be of the ashes of hellfire, O Hawla, by the one who sent me as a Prophet and messenger, there is no woman who is refusing her husband except that she will be hung by her tongue and will be nailed by fire. O Hawla, by the one who sent me as a prophet and messenger, there is no woman who steps out of the house without the permission of her husband for wedding (this is only an expression/ example) except that God and the angels will curse her until she is drowned in the ocean of the curse of God. O Hawla, by the one who sent me as a prophet and messenger, there is no woman who goes swimming (beach or mixed pool) and she is married except that she will swim in pool of leaping flames and will be withering in pain (like a fish on a frying pan)17 We can conclusively state that Islam condemns violence against women and that there is no justification whatsoever, in the Islamic traditions, that supports the violence against women. The misconceptions regarding this issue are entirely cultural and have no bearing on Islam. References:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_domestic_violence Ayatollah Al- Najafi Jawhirul-Kalam 31:200 Tafsr al-Qummi Mustadrakul-Wasael (14:250) from Jmiul Akhbr, Unknown author Ibn Mjah 1:594 Majmaul-Bayn Daaemul-Islm 2:217 Ayatollah Al- Najafi Jawahirul-Kalam 31:205 Ibn Mjah 1:638 al-Mosannaf 9:441 Mustadrakul-Wasael 14:251 Al-Kfi 5:510 Biharul-Anwr 6:220 Sharh Ibn Abil-adid on Nahjul-Balagha 6:338 Al-Faqih 4:263 Wasaelu-Shia 20:163 Mustadrakul-Wasael 14:240-241

Recommendations from the Prophet (SAW) For Men

Your wife is a trust of Allah with you, thus do not harm or prevent her (from her rights).11 Whoever takes a woman (in marriage), he should honour her.12 Sad Ibn Maadh was a martyr who participated in battles of Badr, Uhud, Khandaq and was killed right after the battle of Bani-Quraydha. The prophet (saw) buried him, himself. His mother exclaimed that her son is so honoured. The Holy