LISTENING SKILLS(I)

By MOKSHDA BHUSHAN

The Plan

Introduction to listening The Listening Process Tips to become a good listener Class Activity 1

What is listening?

We were given two ears but only one mouth. This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking. What do we understand by listening? What is the difference between listening and hearing? Different words formed from listening & hearing How do we listen? Scientific, biologic process
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Practice makes perfect

You probably spend more time using your listening skills than any other kind of skill. Like other skills, listening takes practice. People need to practice and acquire skills to be good listeners, because a speaker cannot throw you information in the same manner that a dart player tosses a dart at a passive dartboard. Information is an intangible substance that must be sent by the speaker and received by an active listener.
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WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO LISTEN?

Real listening is an active process that has three basic steps.

Step 1: HEARING

Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.

STEP 2: UNDERSTANDING

The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. Let's go back to that report on zebras. When you hear that no two are alike, think about what that might mean. You might think, "Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra."

Step 3: Processing/ Judging what you have heard

After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense. Do you believe what you have heard? You might think, "How could the stripes to be different for every zebra? But then again, the fingerprints are different for every person. I think this seems believable." You will then reach your own conclusion, or be able to relate to the topic and get the bigger picture in your mind, structure it and store it in either your long term or short term memory. If you judge something is important, you will definitely say to yourself: ah, I must remember that. But if you dont listen well, chances are that you will forget within 10 minutes of having heard it.
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TIPS TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

Practice Active Listening

Become a better listenerpractice active listening

Active listening is a vital part of good communication. Mirroring, paraphrasing, and clarification are examples of active listening skills that have been demonstrated to be effective for reaching understanding. Most communication experts recommend some variation of these skills. Use them to bridge the gap in your listening differences. To listen effectively you should CARE for those you're listening to:
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The C.A.R.E. approach

C - concentrate - focus on the speaker A - acknowledge - through body language - nod your head occasionally or say uh-huh or such phrases R - respond - ask questions for clarification and interest, and give feedback E - empathize - share in the speakers emotions and feelings in a non-judgmental way. Validate your speakers point of view, and make him/her feel that he/she is heard..
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Be Positive

Embrace a positive approach and attitude. We get more in life of what we concentrate on. A positive conversation is more likely when you start it in a positive way. It sets the tone and will determine where the focus of the conversation is likely to head.

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Focus on the Speaker

Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room. Look at the speakers face, listen to what is being said, and also what is not being said. E.g. if I say Lawyers are clever. Lawyers are also rich. I want to be a lawyer., what do I mean to say? Connotation, double meanings, insinuations, etc

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2. Keep your mind focused

Make sure your mind is focused, too. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker's words. Another good trick is to eat a toffee or something when you feel your mind is switching off. It helps to re-focus.
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3.Do not interrupt

Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are. Interrupting is also impolite. It breaks the thread of thought of the speaker. Give the person the time to finish will ensure you also will have the time then to have your say.
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4. Finish listening before speaking

Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak! You can't really listen if you are busy thinking about how you will counter the arguments of the speaker. It helps to make notes while listening because it helps you structure your ideas at the same time you record the structure of the speaker.
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5. Listen to main ideas

The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to remember is..."

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6. Ask questions

If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. E.g. you might say, "When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?"
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7. Give feedback non-verbally

Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. Tilting your head to one side shows you are very attentive to what the speaker is saying. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really listening. Remember, you listen with your face as well as your ears!
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8. Think fast

Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.

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CLASS ACTIVITY 1

Scene: Child standing in front of his Dad, just bursting to tell him what happened in school. Unfortunately, dad has the paper in front of his face and even when he drops the paper down halfway, it is visibly apparent that he is not really listening. How do you make him listen to the child? A student solved the problem of getting dad to listen from behind his protective paper wall. Her solution was to say, "Move your face, dad, when I'm talking to you.'' This simple solution will force even the poorest listener to adopt effective listening skills because it captures the essence of good listening. Practice in teams of two, where one talks and one will pretend not to listen attentively. Have many people talk at the same time. Can you make out what is being said? Are you able to listen? Can you make sense? Can we multi-task with listening?
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HOW TO LISTEN TO YOUR LECTURES

Very important!!!

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Introduction

The average college student spends about 20 hours per week in class listening (or perhaps I should say hearing" or daydreaming--!!) to lectures. Effective listening will ensure you will spend less time studying when exams come, because you assimilate 50 % if you listen and process the information correctly. So,to improve your listening skills, apply some of the following strategies:
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1. Eye contact

Maintain eye contact with the instructor. Of course you will need to look at your notebook to write your notes, but eye contact keeps you focused on the job at hand and keeps you involved in the lecture.

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2. Focus on content

Focus on content, not delivery. Have you ever counted the number of times a teacher clears his/her throat or flicks her hair in a fifteen minutes period? If so, you weren't focusing on content. Visualize the structure of the lesson. If you are following, the lecture plan will emerge gradually and you will get the macro-picture of the lesson.
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3. Stay objective

Avoid emotional involvement. When you are too emotionally involved in listening, you tend to hear what you want to hear--not what is actually being said. Try to remain objective and open-minded.

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4. Avoid distractions

Don't let your mind wander or be distracted by the person shuffling papers near you. If the classroom is too hot or too cold try to remedy that situation if you can. Do not encourage side whispers or friends disturbing you.

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5. Listen to process

Treat listening as a challenging mental task. Listening to an academic lecture is not a passive act--at least it shouldn't be. You need to concentrate on what is said so that you can process the information into your mind and into your notes.

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6. Mental Mapping

Stay active by asking yourself mental questions. Active listening keeps you on your toes. Here are some questions you can ask yourself as you listen. What key point is the professor making? How does this fit with what I know from previous lectures? How is this lecture organized? What implications does it have on other issues? This will increase your analytical and reasoning powers.

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7. Think, think, think!

Use the gap between the rate of speech and your rate of thought. You can think faster than the lecturer can talk. That's one reason your mind may tend to wander. All the above suggestions will help you keep your mind occupied and focused on what being said. You can actually begin to anticipate what the professor is going to say as a way to keep your mind from straying.
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CONCLUSION

Your mind does have the capacity to: listen, think, write and, ponder at the same time, but it does take practice. The more you will practice, the sharper your brain will become, and the more your teacher will be impressed by you!
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THANK YOU!
Any questions?

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