More Rules for Residents

1) Einstein-the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result 2) Speaking of Einstein: "All things in life should be as simple as possible, but not any simpler. 3) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." 4) The patient always drools to the same side as the central line 5)Good decision making comes from experience and experience comes from bad decision making 6)A patient needs to have normal lab values before they die 7)Don't trust anyone, they are all out to kill your patient 8)The preemies of the nicest parents always crump first 9)Some days you're the dog , and some days you're the hydrant 10)God punishes those that mess with the pancreas 11)You're not cold and dead until you're warm and dead 12)All bleeding stops 13)If you don't want to find a fever don't take the temp 14)You cant shine shit 15)You can't fix stupid 16)Double blind study, a pair of opthalmologists looking at an EKG 17) You can't talk sense to a crazy person 18) Trying to get Psychiatrists to work together is like herding cats 19)Ain't no cure for the dumb-ass" 19) The only aspiration a PEG tube ever prevented was the aspiration to die with dignity