Emerging Pure Relationships in Modernity: Towards a New Mental Health Level

Sumant Majmudar MSW, M S University, Baroda; MS,Columbia University School of Social Work, New York, USA

Relationships and Social Work

Relationship as a distinguishing feature of Social Work From Gauri Banerjee to development focus to capacity building with relationship both as a center stage and medium Changing emphasis: From traditional Parsonian functional base to emancipatory politics orientation to life, life actualization, politics existential questions, ref to authenticity and responsibility of choice. For example: Less of charity and more of acts of kindness in day-today behavior, decreasing attention to class issues and increasing orientation to nutrition, fitness, health awareness, happiness, plethora of self-help, selfdevelopment books

Understanding: a framework
Through analysis of empirical, observable relationships Orientation: -Agents reproducing structures which constrict but also enable -Modernity, reflexivity, self-identity. Pure relationships as a response to predicaments, perils of oncoming modernity and emerging fragile self identity Giddens, Winnicott, Beck, Foucault, Goffman, Bauman, Bourdieu, Wittgenstein, Regis Debray

Problems
Problems as expression of not only social but personal Suicides, new variation: parents along with children, 'lovers jointly Overflowing aggression in social encounters Fast track life Loneliness High stress Addictions Sexual (LGBT, Queer movement, Nepal legalizing same sex marriage TOI Dec 3, 09) and Gender identity issues

Major changes in recent times, in the process of changing

Globalization: Unprecedented rapid flow of information. There is, however, a real and felt but unspoken fear of homogenization, loss of specific identity of communities, individuals frontiers that defend and protect specificity and can be still crossed if we build bridges Technological changes Coming of knowledge-based society Our relationship with nature, disturbed ecological balance Changes in individual, married and family life, society focused on in this discussion in the context of above changes, the forces that cause, drive, fuel modernity

Movie themes as a reflection of changing social/individual scenes

Meri Marji : Govinda, Devang Patel, the oft-repeated no mood. Emerging focus on self, how and what one feels and thinks being valuable in itself irrespective of constraints Dosti in Shole Why did they have such a large scale, intense appeal that they are remembered even now? A paradigm shift: Meri Marji combining with unselfish Dosti friendship as its own reward. This mix can stimulate self understanding and self mastery the characteristics and the outcome of the changing relationships.

Illustrations from actual, ongoing life situations

Changes in Dalit individual behavior over last 10 years: dressing and changing, faltering but enabling social sanction New married couples asking violently to be left to themselves X,47, in therapy, suffering from recurrent, impulsive suicidal behavior and caught in violent life and identity narratives/stories resolving it through self understanding, self-mastery: learning new life skills

 Swayamvara for senior citizens by VMAS, (TOI, Sept.7, 08, again in Oct.09), a new opportunity for reconstructing self-identity Globalizing Big Bang experiment in Geneva news influencing local people with an adolescent suicide in a village in Madhya Pradesh and in cities in Gujarat with doomsday fears of earthquake, death, of building collapse, apprehension, BP soaring high, visiting temples, children being not sent to school (TOI, Sept.11,08) Ganapati idols drinking milk local news sweeping, within hours, to global Gujaratis queues in worship to watch the spectacle

 From tradition to modernity: From reinterpretation and clarification of action to self confrontation of social practice, action by agents under global, distant influences individually and in groups Disembedding from time and space with intrusion of globalization, information, communication Both individual and collective experience, though local, mediated through global influences. Distance and virtual relationships Elders-Mahajans- knowledge vs. expert systems, deskilling, mastering new skills Reembedding of expert system Trust. Risk: natural risk, manufactured risk Doubt, uncertainty, Juggernaut steamroller of modernity. Fear of loss of specificity, loss of self is real.

The world we live in modernity

Self-identity
In modernity: self-identity not inherited, not static but fluid with increasing choice A reflexive, self-confronting project, continually worked on and reordered against constantly shifting experiences of day-to-day life. Both affects and helps to construct body and self Keeping a self-narrative going, ongoing story of self, struggle to live up to chosen self identity Liberating with self fulfillment But troubling with cognitive dissonance Ontological insecurity (of being) (R D Laing, Erikson, Giddens): a disturbed sense of order and continuity in events and life, related to trust; capacity to give meaning to life, an event inconsistent with meaning triggers off insecurity

Crisis, dilemmas faced by self in modernity

Exposure to contradictory, opposing experiences creating uncertainty, stress, crisis, dilemmas Have to be resolved to preserve the narrative of self-identity; reducing zanoon , compulsive behaviors to adaptability, flexibility, creating space for self and others; from controlling others to self control; diversity Four dilemmas as below:

 Integration vs. fragmentation

-Fragmenting intentional and extensional changes ( TV serial Balika Vadhu) -Strains of fragmenting multiple selves -Integrating: avoiding cognitive dissonance; protective cocoon and reconstruction -Rigid traditionalist: filtering experiences thru fixed views, refusal of relativism Authoritarian conformist (Erich Fromm), compliance, protective coloring reminiscent of some animals taking on the color of the surroundings , emptiness filled by pseudo-selves, false self

 Powerlessness vs. appropriation

-Expropriation, powerlessness as control passed on to external agencies, alienation (Gandhi, Marx) through deskilling, mass society -But rigid, oppressive old communities too can reduce people powerless -Reappropriation through survival-overcoming the problems (for instance, TOI Teach India movement, and several others), active mastery, autonomy -Engulfment: being overpowered and oppressed, helplessness. At the other end: Narcissism, Omnipotence

 Authority vs. uncertainty

-Partial loss of old authorities: tradition, religion, community, kinship -The new non-determinant authority of expert systems have inherent doubt, uncertainty -Uncertainty contained by protective cocoon, routine, trust, commitment to certain life-style. New religious movements

-Dogmatic authoritarianism, fundamentalism

 Personalized vs. commodified experience

-Standardized commodities influencing self -Market through advertising shapes choices, lifestyle, appearance counts, Dil Mange More -Even self-actualization packaged in self-help books -Soap operas, reality shows ---all escapes(?) from real satisfactions -Self-identity, autonomy, individuation processes against this background; worked through multiple choices, designer things, discrimination of information even by children etc.

Pure relationships as a response

Reflexive self-identity is fragile as no external regulations. Pure: no reference to sexuality Refers mainly to: the relationship itself is its reward, self-sustained. No other motivations Gains: psychological stability as based on basic trust and reliability of caring others, self-understanding, authenticity

Burden: experiencing stress of strong emotions; can be terminated at will, needs to be worked on continuously, good until further notice

 Characteristics: -Trust, basic trust linked with reliability, emotional

communication, reduces false self, connects with feelings of security Based on voluntary commitments, active self disclosure, both based on and promotes true self Intensified intimacy, opening up oneself, partly inherent Both makes for and demands continuous selfunderstanding that builds an enduring bond with the other. Leads to self mastery that is also a condition for building of pure relationships Builds psychological stability and reflexive self. Meri Marji without the above is not so growth promoting, though may have other consequences

 Spheres:
-Sexual (focused on coupling from Bahu to wife - & in some cases less on marriage) -Parent-child (gradually children not just seen but heard and respected too) -Friendship

Democracy of emotions: Equality, open dialogue, dialogic democracy

(Habermas), free of coercion & violence, mutuality of respect, discipline yes but on a different footing, being in charge of oneself, trust

Conclusion
Modern self-identity brings with it stress, anxiety, and an enduring need to protect self But it also both supports and is created by development of intimacy, emotional communication and trust through self disclosure Social work, counseling, therapy, self-help groups emerging as ways to support the selfunderstanding and true self, the narrative of the self-identity, the constant emergence of self Social work response to these changes?