THE PYLON | JOURNAL OF REVOLUTIONARY BULLSHIT | ISSUE #3

LAND CLAIM
ISSUE

 Affected, dry, verbose meta-commentary I see a problem with the format of the text. I can see all these intrusive squares and shit
A very wise man once said to me; Archeology is the search for fact- not truth. That statement stayed with me since the moment I heard it. For truth is something not buried, and no amount of digging, even with an enchanted diamond shovel of justice, can ever unearth the un-touched mycelium of what-actually-happened. We face many challenges, many trials throughout life, and although we can look to the past as for a possible solution to these problems, the only things that can save us are the facts we know. As were followed through the tunnels of our subconscious by the great boulder of doubt, we start to realise that even though we may witness the dark acts of denial and cold acceptance, we dont have to succumb to them... we can brandish our whips of hope, then watch the sword-dance of danger and fury and choose to eliminate it with a quick hard gunshot of logic, before racing along the argument tracks in a steely minecart of true determination. For it is not for us, the truth; locked away in a box, unable to be viewed by mortal eyes. Instead we should turn away, and allow the non-believers to stare into that bright light, as their faces metaphorically melt off, but also actually melt off. And as we gather together, attempting to remember that the first letter of the God of truths name is I for Invincible, we risk losing the small Asian boy of perseverance that inhabits the still-beating wrenched-out hearts of us all. Strong we should stay on our path to the temple of victory, avoiding the giant piles of ants that represent mistrust and infighting, and threaten to swallow us whole. When we drop into the pit of slithering metaphors, we should hold our heads high. Because like that steely, snarky, cute-eyed old explorer once said... Faiths? Why did it have to be Faiths? Also, the fourth film was shit.

The Pylon: Officially dissolving all of your fears. 1

TTK2 ANNOUNCES FIRST CIVCRAFT DLC: THE LEGALIZE THIS ARBITRATION PACK

Artists interpretation.
In a press-release earlier today, Ultimate Creator and Bizzaro-world Noam Chomsky TTK2 announced the upcoming release of Civcrafts first official downloadable content package, the LAW & ORDER: LEGALIZE THIS pack. The LAW & ORDER: LEGALIZE THIS pack will contain the following: A fully developed built-in arbitration system A fully modelled DIY courthouse, including jury stand and trap-door for novelty executions 15 evidence slots (extra slots can be bought via the JUSTICE STORE) The JUSTICE STORE, a player-to-player automated auction house in which users can trade Witness Testimony for Lawyer Cards and other FREEDOM COMMODITIES. A selection of JUDGE characters, each with their own attributes and unique skillsets. A selection of taunts ranging from OBJECTION! to OVERRULED!

Is your society lacking a centralized justice system? NO MORE; Act now to amaze your friends with the SHADY LAWYER skin pack, including Saul Goodman and Phoenix Wright add-ons. For just 15 bitcoins, all of the above can be yours. Additionally, all purchases of the L&O pack will come with a discount coupon for the second DLC pack, FAST PAVEMENT: BUT YOU WILL BUILD THE ROADS.

ROMAN/COLUMBIAN WAR SCHEDULED FOR SUMMER HOLIDAYS

In response to brewing tensions between the remaining city-state nations of Columbia and Rome, an official declaration of war as per agreed on by both sides has been scheduled, with the war set to start as soon as school finishes. We wanted to really maximise our combat effectiveness, said representatives from both sides, And by coincidence it just so happened that the exact moment summer holidays start is the perfect time to begin this grandeous conflict. Meanwhile, Atlantis/Panneton tensions remain steady regardless of the time of year.

ARCHEOLOGISTS UNCOVER ANCIENT REMAINS OF COLUMBIAN GOVERNMENT.

An archeological team tasked with the excavation of ancient griefer-flooded ruins accidentally stumbled upon the encrypted remains of Columbias last great government. This is a discovery that will rock the historical fabric of the server, claimed the Team Leader, and will hopefully lend us more information on how such a great society could fall so far. Certain groups however have disputed the claim, publicly stating that The fall of the Columbian government was a myth incepted by Tyrant Foofed and his cohorts in order to scare little children. Its a fairytale. The restored remains will be on display at the Columbian congress building whenever Dossier is online.

Following a mass act of exploration in which he travelled across the entirety of the pos-pos ocean, an Intrepid Following an incident last Monday in which a loExplored released an official statement today following cal villager accidentally burned his own home down, his immediate return which began What a fucking absoan official two thumbs down rating was People often say that the news shouldnt be biased. Shouldnt be biased they say, as if thats a bad thing. lute waste of my time. Just fucking ocean, the given to his texture pack. Alongside the Those pansy-ass voluntaryists want everything to be fair and voluntary, they want to force their non- explorer claimed, public statement marked in rating, claims were made that the texture aggression on you. I say: NO. I say we take their NAP, and name a missile after it! And then shoot their several placed with mouth froth, Theres abpack was gay and questions were asked pacifist farms! I say we turn the homesteading principle into the homeBURNING principle! LETS RAISE solutely nothing out there. Just fucking ocean. such as Why would they make wood THE ROOF BY RAZING THE ROOF! But seriously, biased news is the best news, because it already con- He paused for a second, pen scratching a whole look like that? and How many dicks forms to all your previously held wrong notions about the way the world works. Knowing facts is for puss- through the paper, before continuing: AND my does this artist actually suck? During a ies, and pussy-related objects. boat broke at least 12 times. Fucking bullshit. follow-up interview, the accidental arsonist claimed he was moving to a high TTK IMPLEMENTS MULTI-THREADING IN NEW CAR, rated texture pack he found on the 4chan imageboard /b/ entitled CheesePizzaCraft. DOUBLES PASSENGER CAP.

AFTER ACCIDENTALLY BURNING OWN HOUSE DOWN, MAN GIVES NEW TEXTURE PACK TWO THUMBS DOWN.

INTREPID EXPLORER RETURNS FROM SOLO JOURNEY ACROSS POS-POS OCEAN, CLAIMS TRIP WAS ABSOLUTE OF WASTE OF TIME.

EXPERIENCE PRICES SKYROCKET AFTER TRAGIC DEATH OF WISEST CIVCRAFT PLAYER.

EXP prices have almost tripled this week after the untimely death of Civcrafts oldest and wisest player. It was a tragedy, claimed one player, We lost a great man. He had so much left to teach us. The sage, aged 67, had so much experience that economists estimate he devalued Bottle O prices by a factor of ten every time he spoke. According to our sources, a group of players in an attempt to bring the pricing back down to reasonable levels have all purchased and gifted copies of Minecraft to their grandparents.

Thanks to developments in automobile technology, server owner and Drama Troupe Leader TTK2 announced the passenger cap of his new car had been doubled. At a minimum, weve increased the effectiveness of the seating by a factor of 2, he claimed, showing off the new interior. The vehicles engine now uses multiple cores, and the multi-threads will allow many more passengers to join in the transportation experience. In fact, the multiple threads have allowed 6 or 7 more seats to be stitched on. This exciting news follows last weeks rumours that TTK planned to move to a much more fluid BikeTest system, which whilst allowing for many more users, exists in its current implementation only as a bicycle with 500 extra seats attached.

Transportation in the world of Civcraft is a serious issue. Not as serious as, say, problems with systems of justice, or City defence... and not as valued as home preservation, and principles of non aggression. It is however still a serious issue that requires care and attention, and one such group has decided to tackle it. Headed primarily by Exultant with help from Cricket, Manintime and Killex and that little dash of Matticus funding, this group have decided to go all 19th century by forming a fully-fledged railroad. The first line, still under construction, cuts a swath across the top nether between Atlantis and Columbia. In the middle resides a central station, in which several shops and businesses will be allowed to operate.

Above: In-construction railroad. Below: Empty cart return design.

The design of the whole thing is impressive. Architecturally, stone brick sprawls outwards in partitioned diagonals, glass blocks preventing accidental internal damage. A prototype empty cart collection system is tested, to clear up any further issues. The whole thing is a very tight, direct, and costeffective solution to problems that we previously as travelling citizens just... dealt with. With planned lines extending to other cities, transportation in the world of Civcraft is set to be improved far beyond current standards. The future is just a Minecart away.

Top-down from left-to-right: Exultant works on his cart return contraption; A mid-track problem is carefully fixed; The entry-mechanism, with cart in place; An intrepid reporter begins his journey; Railworker and help assemble tracks; Ridethespiral stands triumphant amid construction efforts.

THIS WEEKS Q+A WITH THAT GUY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE LEFT YOU FOR IS WITH -CAT-, A HAVEN AFFILIATE AND CAKE FAN.
Q: When did you arrive to the Civcraft world? A: I started playing Minecraft and the Civcraft server at the same time... around four weeks ago. Q: How did you discover the server? A: I was reading /r/NFL (Go Vikings!) at work and saw someone post something very unrelated to the subreddit which prompted me to downvote him. I then decided to check on his comment history to see if he did this more often on the subreddit, which lead me to discover that he commented on /r/Civcraft quite often. Ive always been interested in the Minecraft so I decided to purchase the game and check the server out. Q: What is your biggest success/project on the server to date? A: When I first started playing I accidentally took a picture with my coordinates. After I learned the game I went to that spot and built a giant Nirvana smiley with black and yellow wool. When I first started Im pretty sure I died over 20 times from starvation in that area before I stumbled into Haven. Q: Ancap, LibSoc, Statist; Fuck/Marry/Kill (Fuck one, marry one, kill one) A: I fall under the label Minarchist. [ed: I think this means he fucks everyone, with just the tip] Q: Where do you see the server in 5 months? A: Gatzy gets freed and teams up with Dossier, they then get a bunch of followers and commence griefing the server the likes of which we have not seen. The Age of Griefing and War will start. The server will then explode in size as we start advertising more, and many bounty hunters will start to make a name for themselves as the demand for them increases. The Jacks Hold will be the new Columbia in size and population. Haven will still be Haven, hopefully with more Chicken pianos. Q: Whats your favourite block? A: Cake. Q: Whats your least favourite block? A: Gravel. Q: Views on the whole Columbian debacle? A: Im sure a bunch of drama would of been prevented if the government was legally/illegally dissolved with more transparency. Honestly, the only way they could of started more drama than they did was to build a reinforced obsidian volcano right in the middle of the city. Q: Jacks Hold started selling off plots earlier this week. What are your thoughts? A: I think they will get quite a few people living there eventually for the security. Im excited to see what they will do next!

ADMIN CRIMES STRIKE AGAIN TTK2 IMPLEMENTS BAN ON SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE

by Contributing Writer Ttocs is Awe
In a daring move, infamous moderator ttk2 has implemented a plugin within the world of Civcraft banning the ability to stay in one place for long periods of time. For the average player, this is no problem, as players in Minecraft tend to move at least once every few seconds. However, for the extreme elite of Civcraftia, movement is overrated when you can simply use enslaved workers and automated mob farms to achieve your goals. With this new plugin, ttk2 has effectively destroyed the major pasttime in Civcraft: sitting around and bitching about other nations. So instead of settling down in your armchair next to your lag-inducing fireplace, opening Mumble, and spewing insults at the nearest LSIF member, players are now required to hit the W,A,S, or D button once every thirty minutes. Carpal tunnel victims everywhere are crying out in outrage.

Under ttk2s new plugin, babe-watching will become yet another impossible pastime in Civcraftia

For those players who are fond of utilizing peald prisoners for slave labor will no longer be able to just sit around sipping iced tea while watching their servants work the plantations harvesting cotton assorted Minecraft crops. Now, they will be forced to actively walk around and manually whip their subjects to expedite their work, because thats a thing in Civcraft. This reporter demanded to know why he wouldnt be allowed to play his Xbox and be farming mobs at the same time. _, was ttk2s resounding response. This reporter then went on to demand a plugin to integrate an Xbox into the server. As he departed, ttk2 said, If you want that, fucking code it yourself.

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OPPRESSION/LAND DEVELOPMENT IN ATLANTIS; LIBERTY

by Contributing Writer Eggpie
After their peaceful protests went ignored by the international community, residents of the land around Liberty and Atlantis have stepped forward to voice their outrage at what they claim is an unrepentant, barbaric annexation of [our] land. Although initially reserved about stating their views publicly, citing Ancap Advantage and initiation of violence, a round of Strength potions helped this reporter to discover some unexpected insights. What these locals* had to say may shock you. Foofed, a hardworking sugarcane farmer near Atlantis, was shocked to find his underwater residence homesteaded by what he calls that dirty AnCap State. There was nothing I could do about it, Foofed complained, they pulled most of my sugar cane and built a tree farm. They want nothing less than the enslavement of the common man. Foofed lives with his alt and two dogs, and must go out to the local commune chest regularly to keep them fed, as well as maintain his sugarcane farm. Without all that cane I dont know what Im going to do. I wont be able to make my weekly sugar quota at this rate. The tick lag is oppressing me almost as much as the Ancapistatists. Foofed, unhappy with the way his rights were being trampled over, requested an audience with the King of Atlantis. He wouldnt see me, Foofed claimed, he knew I was on to him, so he sent his goons out to distract me with petty lies. Atlantis doesnt have a government, they said. Hogwash, all of it. In protest Foofed and his family staked out in the Atlantis superhub, but according to him, were completely ignored, shunned even. He admits, though, that there was a little vandalism. We felt disrespected, on a personal level. We had to leave our mark somehow. After hearing about Foofeds unsuccessful protests in Atlantis, 7583, a hermit living in a hole under Liberty-claimed land, organized a demonstration of his own. The turnout was fantastic, I couldnt have hoped for more local support, he told me. But the residents of Liberty turned a blind eye. I couldnt be more disappointed with their reaction. Some went so far as to remove 75s counter-homesteading, shoveling his freshly placed snow out of the roadways. Not once did any of them even try to converse with us. There we were, fighting for our rights against a social machine too haughty to acknowledge us, and they come along and shovel us off to the side. It took some badgering, but after a shot of splash poison, he confided to me that were planning a revolution. The iron golems have agreed to pitch in, and were hopeful that what remains of the Testificate nation will officially pledge their support of our rights as land owners. We hope to plant some golems in major cities, like Panneton, Kizantium, and Gerald, and maybe convert some of the locals to join our cause. With the backing of their local golem populations, we think we might have a chance at wiping out the fuckin statists once and for all. I dont yet know what to make of these revelations, but from what I can gather, one thing is certain: if you find snow in places it shouldnt be, reach out for help. But not too far, it might be contagious. Signing off, Eggpie. *Names have been changed to protect their identity.

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THE PYLON WILL RETURN NEXT WEEK WITH ISSUE #4: STRAIGHT OUTTA D-BLOCK

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