Brittany Wright Professor Bradley English 1301 September 11, 2012 Trapped Inside My Thoughts I was all alone.

Although the word "alone" did not meet my exact physical description in the foreign place I was entering, I felt as though the entire world had isolated me. I was the outsider looking into the lives of many students at my new school. Knowing when I came here that I would face trials, I never knew that I would become an alien to the people around me. Being a stranger to an entirely different group of society would have never typically been one of my biggest concerns. In simply walking through the hallway, multiple colors of the rainbow blurred my vision as I tried to concentrate on one small task at a time. It became a struggle to remember which direction I was going or which class I needed to attend. As I walked to my classes, the sounds of slamming lockers and small chatter from simple conversations became irrelevant to me. Trapped inside my own sound-proof box, I reluctantly trudged through the hall. It was cold; extremely cold. Chills overcame me as I walked down the hallway without the comfort of my closest friends. I acknowledged the stares and the uncertainty that my classmates felt. No person wanted to risk talking to the "new girl." It was as if I became a completely different species of human. They stared cautiously as if I had morphed into a person with four arms and ten eyes. Some people attempted to share a friendly "hello" or nod my way. Though these people attempted warm gestures, I began to feel as if my whole body was shutting down. Not knowing my parents reason for plucking me out of my previous life, I felt contempt. For a brief period of time on that first day of school I was completely unaware of what was going

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on around me. Focusing on my extreme deprivation from the life I once had, I had a realization completely contrary to what I was feeling. Through my upset, I started to gradually watch the people around me and I began to understand that no matter where I was or what I was doing, people would always act exactly the same. Gradually, I began to regain my senses fully. No longer blinded to the world, I noticed the smallest gestures. Just like my first day in kindergarten, just as I had to adapt to a new set of people, I would have to do the exact same thing with these new people in my life. I noticed that I would have to step outside of my comfort zone and embrace the world around me. Obviously, I understood that I would have to end my long lasting relationship with the past, and emerge myself into the creation of my future. The phrase Life goes on, became a very useful phrase in this particular situation and after my sudden epiphany about my environment, I began to notice several important attributes of the world of people. In becoming accustomed to the new world I was thrown into, I understood that no matter how many compatible people are forced to stay in a room together, there will always be cliques. On that first day of school, this fact stood out to me very clearly. Upon walking into the cafeteria, I saw people crowded together like schools of fish. Not only were they distinguishable in their need to be beside one another, they were also placed into groups by the way they dressed. Every member of each specific group dressed similarly. Each person had a certain message to display. While some conveyed their feelings with brightly fabricated clothing, others conveyed their emotions in a way that suggested that they had no desire to impress anyone in particular. Through their groups, they all expressed particular ideas. It became noticeable that they shared aspirations and common interests. By understanding the specific impact that they, personally,

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wanted to create on the world around them, they naturally gravitated toward other people with the exact same view on life. Love is not a lie. It is not just a myth created by philosophers that are trying to understand the world around them. On that first day of school I witnessed that people are capable of being affectionate to one another. After my fellow students understood I was not some mutated alien trying to take over the school and their lives, they began to open up to me. When I began to converse with these people, I began to feel as though an imaginary light bulb came out of nowhere like in one of the more famous cartoons. It became obvious to me that the people I began to try to understand were easily translatable from the very beginning. They only stayed in their groups and ran away from contact simply because they knew where their comfort zone was and they knew that they would not trust me until we had come to some form of common understanding. Just as a dog protects its territory by marking it, these people were protecting theirs by staying cautious and guarded. Through staying in their dignified sections and groups, they were clearly showing me the boundaries. By trying to understand people and their actions, I created a new life for myself in a different environment. I was fit into their puzzle and I became accustomed to their general dynamic. These humans, these very complex creations, were just trying to find a way to exist with one another and ensure happiness in their own lives. Towards the end of that day, when the last and final bell rang and I took that last walk down the hallway, I no longer had the chills. I had acquired some friends that questioned me of my past and the many details of my life. My senses had completely returned to me. Noticing the previously irrelevant chatter, I surprisingly began to sympathize with the simple conversations. I understood that the talk of the upcoming football game or previous test contributed an air of simple joy to the people engaging in the

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actual conversations. I saw the colors of the clothing for what they were. They were simply attempted personal statements attempting to be conveyed. Showing that they wanted attention, the clothes screamed, I am here. I am important. Beginning to notice the restlessness of the students rushing to leave the school, I knew that these people were just anxious for a completely new life outside of this pre-determined environment and that they understood the phrase Life goes on.