DIOGENESOFSINOPE

Diogenes of Sinope (c. 412323 BC), a contemporary of Plato and Aristotle, is considered the founderofthephilosophicalschoolofCynicism.Concernedmorewithactionthanwithwords, heleftnowritings.Whatweknowofhisthoughtiswhathasbeenrelatedtousbycontempo rariesandlaterscholars.ThemostextensiveaccountisfromDiogenesLaertes,writingalmost 500yearsafterDiogeneslived. LIFEOFDIOGENESOFSINOPE,THECYNIC(404323BC) RD BYDIOGENESLAERTIUS(3 CENTURYAD) Diogenes was a native of Sinope, son of Hicesius, a banker. Diocles relates that he went into exilebecausehisfatherwasentrustedwiththemoneyofthestateandadulteratedthecoin age.ButEubulidesinhisbookonDiogenessaysthatDiogeneshimselfdidthisandwasforced toleavehomealongwithhisfather.MoreoverDiogeneshimselfactuallyconfessesinhisPorde lusthatheadulteratedthecoinage.Somesaythathavingbeenappointedtosuperintendthe workmenhewaspersuadedbythem,andthathewenttoDelphiortotheDelianoracleinhis owncityandinquiredofApollowhetherheshoulddowhathewasurgedtodo.Whenthegod gave him permission to alter the political currency, not understanding what this meant, he adulteratedthestatecoinage,andwhenhewasdetected,accordingtosomehewasbanished, whileaccordingtoothershevoluntarilyquittedthecityforfearofconsequences.Oneversion is that his father entrusted him with the money and that he debased it, in consequence of whichthefatherwasimprisonedanddied,whilethesonfled,cametoDelphi,andinquired,not whetherheshouldfalsifythecoinage,butwhatheshoulddotogainthegreatestreputation; andthatthenitwasthathereceivedtheoracle. OnreachingAthenshefellinwithAntisthenes.Beingrepulsedbyhim,becauseheneverwel comed pupils, by sheer persistence Diogenes wore him out. Once when he stretched out his staffagainsthim,thepupilofferedhisheadwiththewords,Strike,foryouwillfindnowood hardenoughtokeepmeawayfromyou,solongasIthinkyouvesomethingtosay.Fromthat timeforwardhewashispupil,and,exileashewas,setoutuponasimplelife. Through watching a mouse running about, says Theophrastus in the Megarian dialogue, not lookingforaplacetoliedownin,notafraidofthedark,notseekinganyofthethingswhichare consideredto be dainties, he discovered themeans of adapting himself to circumstances. He wasthefirst,saysome,tofoldhiscloakbecausehewasobligedtosleepinitaswell,andhe carried a wallet to hold his victuals, and he used any place for any purpose, for breakfasting, sleeping,orconversing.Andthenhewouldsay,pointingtotheporticoofZeusandtheHallof Processions,thattheAthenianshadprovidedhimwithplacestolivein.Hedidnotleanupona staffuntilhegrewinfirm;butafterwardshewouldcarryiteverywhere,notindeedinthecity, butwhenwalkingalongtheroadwithitandwithhiswallet;sosayOlympiodorus,onceamag istrate at Athens, Polyeuctus the orator, and Lysanias the son of Aeschrio. He had written to some one to try and procure a cottage for him. When this man was a long time about it, he tookforhisabodethetubintheMetroon,ashehimselfexplainsinhisletters.Andinsummer

he used to roll in it over hot sand, while in winter he used to embrace statues covered with snow,usingeverymeansofinuringhimselftohardship. Hewasgreatatpouringscornonhiscontemporaries.TheschoolofEuclideshecalledbilious, and Platos lectures wastes of time, the performances at the Dionysia great peepshows for fools,andthedemagoguesthemobslackeys.Heusedalsotosaythatwhenhesawphysicians, philosophersandpilotsattheirwork,hedeemedmanthemostintelligentofallanimals;but when again he saw interpreters of dreams and diviners and those who attended to them, or thosewhowerepuffedupwithconceitofwealth,hethoughtnoanimalmoresilly.Hewould continuallysaythatfortheconductoflifeweneedrightreasonorahalter. ObservingPlatoonedayatacostlybanquettakingolives,Howisit,hesaid,thatyouthephi losopherwhosailedtoSicilyforthesakeofthesedishes,nowwhentheyarebeforeyoudonot enjoythem?Nay,bythegods,Diogenes,repliedPlato,therealsoforthemostpartIlived uponolivesandsuchlike.Whythen,saidDiogenes,didyouneedtogotoSyracuse?Wasit thatAtticaatthattimedidnotgrowolives?ButFavorinusinhisMiscellaneousHistoryattrib utesthistoAristippus.Again,anothertimehewaseatingdriedfigswhenheencounteredPlato and offered him a share of them. When Plato took them and ate them, he said, I said you mightsharethem,notthatyoumighteatthemallup. And one day when Plato had invited to his house friends coming from Dionysius, Diogenes trampleduponhiscarpetsandsaid,ItrampleuponPlatosvainglory.Platosreplywas,How much pride you expose to view, Diogenes, by seeming not to be proud. Others tell us that what Diogenes said was, I trample upon the pride of Plato, who retorted, Yes, Diogenes, withprideofanothersort.Sotion,however,inhisfourthbookmakestheCynicaddressthis remarktoPlatohimself.Diogenesonceaskedhimforwine,andafterthatalsoforsomedried figs;andPlatosenthimawholejarfull.Thentheothersaid,Ifsomeoneasksyouhowmany twoandtwoare,willyouanswer,Twenty?So,itseems,youneithergiveasyouareaskednor answerasyouarequestioned.Thushescoffedathimasonewhotalkedwithoutend. BeingaskedwhereinGreecehesawgoodmen,hereplied,Goodmennowhere,butgoodboys atLacedaemon. Whenonedayhewasgravelydiscoursingandnobodyattendedtohim,hebeganwhistling,and aspeopleclusteredabouthim,hereproachedthemwithcominginallseriousnesstohearnon sense, but slowly and contemptuously when the theme was serious. He would say that men striveindiggingandkickingtooutdooneanother,butnoonestrivestobecomeagoodman andtrue.AndhewouldwonderthatthegrammariansshouldinvestigatetheillsofOdysseus, whiletheywereignorantoftheirown.OrthatthemusiciansshouldtunethestringsoftheIyre, while leaving the dispositions of their own souls discordant; that the mathematicians should gaze at the sun and the moon, but overlook matters close at hand; that the orators should makeafussaboutjusticeintheirspeeches,butneverpracticeit;orthattheavariciousshould cryoutagainstmoney,whileinordinatelyfondofit. 2

He used also to condemn those who praised honest men for being superior to money, while themselvesenvyingtheveryrich.Hewasmovedtoangerthatmenshouldsacrificetothegods toensurehealthandinthemidstofthesacrificeshouldfeasttothedetrimentofhealth.He wasastonishedthatwhenslavessawtheirmastersweregluttons,theydidnotstealsomeof theviands.Hewouldpraisethosewhowereabouttomarryandrefrained,thosewhointending togoavoyageneversetsail,thosewhothinkingtoengageinpoliticsdonosuchthing,those alsowhopurposingtorearafamilydonotdoso,andthosewhomakereadytolivewithpoten tate,yetnevercomenearthemafterall.Heusedtosay,moreover,thatweoughttostretch outourhandstoourfriendswiththefingersopenandnotclosed. MenippusinhisSaleofDiogenestellshow,whenhewascapturedandputupforsale,hewas askedwhathecoulddo.Hereplied,Governmen.Andhetoldthecriertogivenoticeincase anybody wanted to purchase a master for himself. Having been forbidden to sit down, It makesnodifference,saidhe,Forinwhateverpositionfisheslie,theystillfindpurchasers. Andhesaidhemarveledthatbeforewebuyajarordishwetrywhetheritringstrue,butifitis amanarecontentmerelytolookathim.ToXeniadeswhopurchasedhimhesaid,Youmust obeyme,althoughIamaslave;for,ifaphysicianorasteersmanwereinslavery,hewouldbe obeyed.EubulusinhisbookentitledTheSeleofDiogenestellsusthatthiswashowhetrained thesonsofXeniades.Aftertheirotherstudieshetaughtthemtoride,toshootwiththebow,to slingstonesandtohurljavelins.Later,whentheyreachedthewrestlingschool,hewouldnot permitthemastertogivethemfullathletictraining,butonlysomuchastoheightentheircol ourandkeepthemingoodcondition. Theboysusedtogetbyheartmanypassagesfrompoets,historians,andthewritingsofDio geneshimself;andhewouldpracticethemineveryshortcuttoagoodmemory.Inthehouse toohetaughtthemtowaituponthemselves,andtobecontentwithplainfareandwaterto drink.Heusedtomakethemcroptheirhaircloseandtowearitunadorned,andtogolightly clad,barefoot,silent,andnotlookingabouttheminthestreets.Hewouldalsotakethemout hunting.TheyontheirparthadagreatregardforDiogenesandmaderequestsoftheirparents forhim.ThesameEubulusrelatesthathegrewoldinthehouseofXeniades,andwhenhedied wasburiedbyhissons.ThereXeniadesonceaskedhimhowhewishedtobeburied.Towhich he replied, On my face. Why? inquired the other. Because, said he, after a little time downwillbeconvertedintoup.ThisbecausetheMacedonianshadnowgotthesupremacy, thatis,hadrisenhighfromahumbleposition. Someonetookhimintoamagnificenthouseandwarnedhimnottoexpectorate,whereupon havingclearedhisthroathedischargedthephlegmintothemansface,beingunable,hesaid, to find a meaner receptacle. Others father this upon Aristippus. One day he shouted out for men,andwhenpeoplecollected,hitoutatthemwithhisstick,saying,ItwasmenIcalledfor, notscoundrels.ThisistoldbyHecatointhefirstbookofhisAnecdotes.Alexanderisreported tohavesaid,HadInotbeenAlexander,IshouldhavelikedtobeDiogenes. Theworddisabled(Greekanaperous)Diogenesheld,oughttobeappliednottothedeafor blind,buttothosewhohavenowallet(pera).Onedayhemadehiswaywithheadhalfshaven 3

intoapartyofyoungrevellers,asMetroclesrelatesinhisAnecdotes,andwasroughlyhandled bythem.Afterwardsheenteredonatabletthenamesofthosewhohadstruckhimandwent aboutwiththetablethungroundhisneck,tillhehadcoveredthemwithridiculeandbrought universalblameanddiscredituponthem.Hedescribedhimselfasahoundofthesortwhichall menpraise,butnoone,headded,ofhisadmirersdaredgoouthuntingalongwithhim. WhensomeoneboastedthatatthePythiangameshehadvanquishedmen,Diogenesreplied, Nay,Idefeatmen,youdefeatslaves. Tothosewhosaidtohim,Youareanoldman;takearest,What?hereplied,ifIwererun ninginthestadium,oughtItoslackenmypacewhenapproachingthegoal?OughtInotrather toputonspeed? Havingbeeninvitedtoadinner,hedeclaredthathewouldntgo;for,thelasttimehewent,his host had not expressed a proper gratitude. He would walk upon snow barefoot and do the otherthingsmentionedabove.Notonlyso;heevenattemptedtoeatmeatraw,butcouldnot managetodigestit.HeoncefoundDemosthenestheoratorlunchingataninn,and,whenhe retiredwithin,Diogenessaid,Allthemoreyouwillbeinsidethetavern.Whensomestrang ersexpressedawishtoseeDemosthenes,hestretchedouthismiddlefingerandsaid,There goesthedemagogueofAthens.Someonedroppedaloafofbreadandwasashamedtopickit up;whereuponDiogenes,wishingtoreadhimalesson,tiedaropetotheneckofawinejarand proceededtodragitacrosstheCeramicus. Heusedtosaythathefollowedtheexampleofthetrainersofchoruses;fortheytoosetthe notealittlehigh,toensurethattherestshouldhittherightnote.Mostpeople,hewouldsay, aresonearlymadthatafingermakesallthedifference.For,ifyougoalongwithyourmiddle fingerstretchedout,someonewillthinkyoumad,but,ifitsthelittlefinger,hewillnotthink so. Very valuable things, said he, were bartered for things of no value, and vice versa. At all eventsastatuefetchesthreethousanddrachmas,whileaquartofbarleyflourissoldfortwo coppercoins. ToXeniades,whopurchasedhim,hesaid,Come,seethatyouobeyorders.Whenhequoted theline,Backwardthestreamsflowtotheirfounts,Diogenesasked,Ifyouhadbeenilland had purchased a doctor, would you then, instead of obeying him, have said Backward the streamsflowtotheirfounts? Someonewantedtostudyphilosophyunderhim.Diogenesgavehimatunafishtocarryand toldhimtofollowhim.Andwhenforshamethemanthrewitawayanddeparted,sometime afteronmeetinghimhelaughedandsaid,Thefriendshipbetweenyouandmewasbrokenby atuna.TheversiongivenbyDiocles,however,isasfollows.Someonehavingsaidtohim,Lay yourcommandsuponus,Diogenes,hetookhimawayandgavehimacheesetocarry,which costhalfanobol.Theotherdeclined;whereuponheremarked,Thefriendshipbetweenyou andmeisbrokenbyalittlecheeseworthhalfanobol. 4

Oneday,observingachilddrinkingoutofhishands,hecastawaythecupfromhiswalletwith thewords,Achildhasbeatenmeinplainnessofliving.Healsothrewawayhisbowlwhenin likemannerhesawachildwhohadbrokenhisplatetakinguphislentilswiththehollowpartof a morsel of bread. He used also to reason thus: All things belong to the gods. The wise are friendsofthegods,andfriendsholdthingsincommon.Thereforeallthingsbelongtothewise. One day he saw a woman kneelingbefore thegods in anungracefulattitude, and wishing to freeherofsuperstition,accordingtoZoilusofPerga,hecameforwardandsaid,Areyounot afraid,mygoodwoman,thatagodmaybestandingbehindyou?forallthingsarefullofhis presenceandyoumaybeputtoshame?HededicatedtoAsclepiusabruiserwho,whenever peoplefellontheirfaces,usedtorunuptothemandbruisethem. Allthecursesoftragedy,heusedtosay,hadlighteduponhim.Atalleventshewas Ahomelessexile,tohiscountrydead. Awandererwhobegshisdailybread. Butheclaimedthattofortunehecouldopposecourage,toconventionnature,topassionrea son. When he was sunning himself in the Craneum, Alexander cameand stood over him and said,Askofmeanyboonyoulike.Towhichhereplied,Standoutofmylight. Someonehadbeenreadingaloudforaverylongtime,andwhenhewasneartheendofthe rollpointedtoaspacewithnowritingonit.Cheerup,mymen,criedDiogenes;theresland insight.Toonewhobyargumenthadprovedconclusivelythathehadhorns,hesaid,touching hisforehead,Well,Iformypartdontseeany.Inlikemanner,whensomebodydeclaredthat thereisnosuchthingasmotion,hegotupandwalkedabout. Whensomeonewasdiscoursingoncelestialphenomena,Howmanydays,askedDiogenes, wereyouincomingfromthesky?Aeunuchofbadcharacterhadinscribedonhisdoorthe words,Letnothingevilenter.Howthen,heasked,isthemasterofthehousetogetin? When he had anointed his feet with unguent, he declared that from his head the unguent passedintotheair,butfromhisfeetintohisnostrils.TheAtheniansurgedhimtobecomeiniti ated,andtoldhimthatintheotherworldthosewhohavebeeninitiatedenjoyaspecialprivi lege.Itwouldbeludicrous,quothhe,ifAgesilausandEpaminondasaretodwellinthemire, whilecertainfolkofnoaccountwillliveintheIslesoftheBlestbecausetheyhavebeeniniti ated. Whenmicecreptontothetableheaddressedthemthus,SeenowevenDiogeneskeepspara sites.WhenPlatostyledhimadog,Quitetrue,hesaid,forIcomebackagainandagainto thosewhohavesoldme.Ashewasleavingthepublicbaths,somebodyinquiredifmanymen werebathing.Hesaid,No.Buttoanotherwhoaskediftherewasagreatcrowdofbathers,he said,Yes. 5

Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes pluckedafowlandbroughtitintothelectureroomwiththewords,HereisPlatosman.In consequence of which there was added to the definition, having broad nails. To one who askedwhatwasthepropertimeforlunch,hesaid,Ifarichman,whenyouwill;ifapoorman whenyoucan. AtMegarahesawthesheepprotectedbyleatherjackets,whilethechildrenwentbare.Its better,saidhe,tobeaMegariansramthanhisson.Toonewhohadbrandishedabeamat himandthencried,Lookout,hereplied,What,areyouintendingtostrikemeagain? Heusedtocallthedemagoguesthelackeysofthepeopleandthecrownsawardedtothemthe efflorescenceoffame.Helitalampinbroaddaylightandsaid,ashewentabout,Iamlooking foraman.Onedayhegotathoroughdrenchingwherehestood,and,whenthebystanders pitiedhim,Platosaid,iftheyreallypitiedhim,theyshouldmoveaway,alludingtohisvanity. Whensomeonehithimablowwithhisfist,Heracles,saidhe,howcameItoforgettoputon ahelmetwhenIwalkedout?Further,whenMeidiasassaultedhimandwentontosay,There are3000drachmastoyourcredit,thenextdayhetookapairofboxinggauntlets,gavehima thrashingandsaid,Thereare3000blowstoyourcredit. When Lysias the druggist asked him if he believed in the gods, How can I help believing in them,saidhe,whenIseeagodforsakenwretchlikeyou?OthersgivethisretorttoTheo dorus.Seeingsomeoneperformreligiouspurification,hesaid,Unhappyman,dontyouknow that you can no more get rid of errors of conduct by sprinklings than you can of mistakes in grammar. He would rebuke men in general with regard to their prayers, declaring that they askedforthosethingswhichseemedtothemtobegood,notforsuchasaretrulygood.Asfor thosewhowereexcitedovertheirdreamshewouldsaythattheycarednothingforwhatthey did in their waking hours, but kept their curiosity for the visions called up in their sleep. At Olympia,whentheheraldproclaimedDioxippustobevictoroverthemen,Diogenesprotested, Nay,heisvictoriousoverslaves,Iovermen. StillhewaslovedbytheAthenians.Atallevents,whenayoungsterbrokeuphistub,theygave the boy a flogging and presented Diogenes with another. Dionysius the Stoic says that after ChaeroneahewasseizedanddraggedofftoPhilip,andbeingaskedwhohewas,replied,Aspy uponyourinsatiablegreed.Forthishewasadmiredandsetfree. AlexanderhavingononeoccasionsentalettertoAntipateratAthensbyacertainAthlios,Dio genes,whowaspresent,said: Gracelesssonofgracelesssiretogracelesswightbygracelesssquire. Perdiccashavingthreatenedtoputhimtodeathunlesshecametohim,Thatsnothingwon derful, quoth he, fora beetle ora tarantulawould do the same. Instead of that he would haveexpectedthethreattobethatPerdiccaswouldbequitehappytodowithouthiscompany. Hewouldofteninsistloudlythatthegodshadgiventomenthemeansoflivingeasily,butthis 6

hadbeenputoutofsight,becausewerequirehoneyedcakes,unguentsandthelike.Henceto amanwhoseshoeswerebeingputonbyhisservant,hesaid,Youhavenotattainedtofullfe licity,unlesshewipesyournoseaswell;andthatwillcome,whenyouhavelosttheuseofyour hands. Oncehesawtheofficialsofatempleleadingawaysomeonewhohadstolenabowlbelonging tothetreasurers,andsaid,Thegreatthievesareleadingawaythelittlethief.Noticingalad one day throwing stones at a cross (gibbet), Well done, he said, you will hit your mark. Whensomeboysclusteredroundhimandsaid,Takecarehedoesntbiteus,heanswered, Neverfear,boys,adogdoesnoteatbeetroot.Toonewhowasproudofwearingalionsskin hiswordswere,Leaveoffdishonouringthehabilimentsofcourage.Whensomeonewasex tolling the good fortune of Callisthenes and saying what splendour he shared in the suite of Alexander,Notso,saidDiogenes,butratherillfortune;forhebreakfastsanddineswhen Alexanderthinksfit. Beingshortofmoney,hetoldhisfriendsthatheappliedtothemnotforalms,butforrepay ment of his due. When behaving indecently [masturbating] in the marketplace, he wished it wereaseasytorelievehungerbyrubbinganemptystomach.Seeingayouthstartingofftodine withsatraps,hedraggedhimoff,tookhimtohisfriendsandbadethemkeepstrictwatchover him.Whenayoutheffeminateattiredputaquestiontohim,hedeclinedtoanswerunlesshe pulleduphisrobeandshowedwhetherhewasmanorwoman.Ayouthwasplayingcottabosin thebaths.Diogenessaidtohim,Thebetteryouplay,theworseitisforyou.Atafeastcertain people kept throwing all the bones to him as they would have done to a dog. Thereupon he playedadogstrickanddrenchedthem. Rhetoriciansandallwhotalkedforreputationheusedtocallthricehuman,meaningthereby thrice wretched. An ignorant rich man he used to call the sheep with the golden fleece. Seeinganoticeonthehouseofaprofligate,Tobesold,hesaid,Iknewwellthataftersuch surfeitingyouwouldthrowuptheowner.Toayoungmanwhocomplainedofthenumberof peoplewhoannoyedhimbytheirattentionshesaid,Ceasetohangoutasignofinvitation.Of apublicbathwhichwasdirtyhesaid,Whenpeoplehavebathedhere,wherearetheytogoto get clean. There was a stout musician whom everybody depreciated and Diogenes alone praised.Whenaskedwhy,hesaid,Becausebeingsobig,heyetsingstohisluteanddoesnot turnbrigand. ThemusicianwhowasalwaysdesertedbyhisaudiencehegreetedwithaHailchanticleer,and whenaskedwhyhesoaddressedhim,replied,Becauseyoursongmakeseveryonegetup.A youngmanwasdeliveringasetspeech,whenDiogenes,havingfilledthefrontfoldofhisdress withlupine,begantoeatthem,standingrightoppositetohim.Havingthusdrawnofftheat tentionoftheassemblage,hesaidhewasgreatlysurprisedthattheyshoulddeserttheorator tolookathimself.Averysuperstitiouspersonaddressedhimthus,WithoneblowIwillbreak yourhead.AndI,saidDiogenes,byasneezefromtheleftwillmakeyoutremble.Hegesias havingaskedhimtolendhimoneofhiswritings,hesaid,Youareasimpleton,Hegesias;you

donotchoosepaintedfigs,butrealones;and yetyoupassoverthetruetrainingandwould applyyourselftowrittenrules. When some one reproached him with his exile, his reply was, Nay, it was through that, you miserablefellow,thatIcametobeaphilosopher.Again,whensomeoneremindedhimthat the people of Sinope had sentenced him to exile, And I them, said he, to homestaying. Once he saw an Olympic victor tending sheep and thus accosted him: Too quickly, my good friend,haveyouleftOlympiaforNemea.Beingaskedwhyathletesaresostupid,hisanswer was,Becausetheyarebuiltupofporkandbeef.Heoncebeggedalmsofastatue,and,when askedwhyhedidso,replied,Togetpracticeinbeingrefused.Inaskingalmsashedidat firstbyreasonofhispovertyheusedthisform:Ifyouhavealreadygiventoanyoneelse,give tomealso;ifnot,beginwithme. Onbeingaskedbyatyrantwhatbronzeisbestforastatue,hereplied,ThatofwhichHarmo diusandAristogitonweremoulded.AskedhowDionysiustreatedhisfriends,Likepurses,he replied;solongastheyarefull,hehangsthemup,and,whentheyareempty,hethrowsthem away.Someonelatelywedhadsetuponhisdoorthenotice: ThesonofZeus,victoriousHeracles,dwellshere;letnothingevilenterin. TowhichDiogenesaddedAfterwar,alliance.Theloveofmoneyhedeclaredtobemother cityofallevils.Seeingaspendthrifteatingolivesinatavern,hesaid,Ifyouhadbreakfastedin thisfashion,youwouldnotsobedining. Goodmenhecalledimagesofthegods,andlovethebusinessoftheidle.Tothequestionwhat iswretchedinlifehereplied,Anoldmandestitute.Beingaskedwhatcreaturesbiteisthe worst,hesaid,Ofthosethatarewildasycophants;ofthosethataretameaflatterers.Upon seeing two centaurs very badly painted, he asked, Which of these is Chiron? (Cheiron in Greekmeansworseman).Ingratiatingspeechhecomparedtohoneyusedtochokeyou.The stomach he called livelihoods Charybdis. Hearing a report that Didymon the fluteplayer had beencaughtinadultery,hiscommentwas,Hisnamealoneissufficienttohanghim.Tothe questionwhygoldispale,hisreplywas,Becauseithassomanythievesplottingagainstit.On seeing a woman carried in a litter, he remarked that the cage was not in keeping with the quarry. Onedayseeingarunawayslavesittingonthebrinkofawell,hesaid,Takecare,mylad,you dont fall in. Seeing a boy taking clothes at the baths, he asked, Is it for a little unguent (alleimmation) or is it for a new cloak (all himation)? Seeing some women hanged from an olivetree,hesaid,Wouldthateverytreeboresimilarfruit.Onseeingafootpadheaccosted himthus: Whatmakstthouhere,mygallant? Comstthouperchanceforplunderofthedead? 8

Beingaskedwhetherhehadanymaidorboytowaitonhim,hesaidNo.Ifyoushoulddie, then,whowillcarryyououttoburial?Whoeverwantsthehouse,hereplied. Noticingagoodlookingyouthlyinginanexposedposition,henudgedhimandcried,Up,man, up,lestsomefoethrustadartintothyback!Toonewhowasfeastinglavishlyhesaid: Shortlivdthoultbe,myson,bywhatthoubuyst. AsPlatowasconversingaboutIdeasandusingthenounstablehoodandcuphood,hesaid, TableandcupIsee;butyourtablehoodandcuphood,Plato,Icannowisesee.Thatsreadily accountedfor,saidPlato,foryouhavetheeyestoseethevisibletableandcup;butnotthe understandingbywhichidealtablehoodandcuphoodarediscerned. Onbeingaskedbysomebody,WhatsortofamandoyouconsiderDiogenestobe?ASocra tesgonemad,saidPlatoOnbeingaskedwhatwastherighttimetomarry,Diogenesreplied, Forayoungmannotyet:foranoldmanneveratall.Beingaskedwhathewouldtaketobe soundlycuffed,hereplied,Ahelmet.Seeingayouthdressingwithelaboratecare,hesaid,If its for men, youre a fool; if for women, a knave. One day he detected a youth blushing. Courage,quothhe,thatisthehueofvirtue.Onedayafterlisteningtoacoupleoflawyers disputing, he condemned them both, saying that the one had no doubt stolen,but the other hadnotlostanything.Tothequestionwhatwinehefoundpleasanttodrink,hereplied,That forwhichotherpeoplepay.Whenhewastoldthatmanypeoplelaughedathim,hemadean swer,ButIamnotlaugheddown. When some one declared that life is an evil, he corrected him: Not life itself, but living ill. Whenhewasadvisedtogoinpursuitofhisrunawayslave,hereplied,Itwouldbeabsurd,if Manescanlivewithout Diogenes,butDiogenescannotget onwithout Manes.Whenbreak fasting on olives amongst which a cake had been inserted, he flung it away and addressed it thus: Stranger,betaketheefromtheprincespath.(EuripidesPhoen.40) Andonanotheroccasionthus: Helashedanolive.(HomerIliad5.366) Beingaskedwhatkindofhoundhewas,hereplied,Whenhungry,aMaltese;whenfull,aMo lossiantwobreedswhichmostpeoplepraise,thoughforfearoffatiguetheydonotventure outhuntingwiththem.Soneithercanyoulivewithme,becauseyouareafraidofthediscom forts. Beingaskedifthewiseeatcakes,Yes,hesaid,cakesofallkinds,justlikeothermen.Being asked why people give to beggars but not to philosophers, he said, Because they think they mayonedaybelameorblind,butneverexpectthattheywillturntophilosophy.Hewasbeg 9

gingofamiserlymanwhowasslowtorespond;sohesaid,Myfriend,itsforfoodthatIm asking,notforfuneralexpenses.Beingreproachedonedayforhavingfalsifiedthecurrency, hesaid,ThatwasthetimewhenIwassuchasyouarenow;butsuchasIamnow,youwill never be. To another who reproached him for the same offence he made a more scurrilous repartee. OncomingtoMyndusandfindingthegateslarge,thoughthecityitselfwasverysmall,hecried, MenofMyndus,baryourgates,lestthecityshouldrunaway.Seeingamanwhohadbeen caughtstealingpurple,hesaid: Fastgrippedbypurpledeathandforcefulfate.(HomerIliad5.83) WhenCrateruswantedhimtocomeandvisithim,No,hereplied,Iwouldratherliveona few grains of salt at Athens than enjoy sumptuous fare at Crateruss table. He went up to Anaximenes the rhetorician, who was fat, and said, Let us beggars have something of your paunch;itwillbearelieftoyou,andweshallgetadvantage.Andwhenthesamemanwasdis coursing,Diogenesdistractedhisaudiencebyproducingsomesaltfish.Thisannoyedthelec turer, and Diogenes said, An obols worth of salt fish has broken up Anaximenes lecture class. Being reproached for eating in the marketplace Well, it was in the marketplace, he said, thatIfelthungry.Someauthorsaffirmthatthefollowingalsobelongstohim:thatPlatosaw himwashinglettuces,cameuptohimandquietlysaidtohim,HadyoupaidcourttoDionysius, youwouldntnowbewashinglettuces,andthathewithequalcalmnessmadeanswer,Ifyou hadwashedlettuces,youwouldnthavepaidcourttoDionysius.Whensomeonesaid,Most peoplelaughatyou,hisreplywas,Andsoverylikelydotheassesatthem;butastheydont carefortheasses,soneitherdoIcareforthem.Onedayobservingayouthstudyingphiloso phy,hesaid,Welldone,Philosophy,thatthoudivertestadmirersofbodilycharmstothereal beautyofthesoul. When some one expressed astonishment at the votive offerings in Samothrace, his comment was,Therewouldhavebeenfarmore,ifthosewhowerenotsavedhadsetupofferings.But othersattributethisremarktoDiagorasofMelos.Toahandsomeyouth,whowasgoingoutto dinner, he said, You will come back a worse man. When he came back and said next day, went and am none the worse for it, Diogenes said, Not Worseman (Chiron), but Laxman (Eurytion).He was asking alms of a badtempered man,who said, Yes, if you can persuade me. If I could have persuaded you, said Diogenes, I would have persuaded you to hang yourself. He was returning from Lacedaemon to Athens; and on some one asking, Whither andwhence?hereplied,Fromthemensapartmentstothewomens. He was returning from Olympia, and when somebody inquired whether there was a great crowd,Yes,hesaid,agreatcrowd,butfewwhocouldbecalledmen.Libertineshecom paredtofigtreesgrowinguponacliff:whosefruitisnotenjoyedbyanyman,butiseatenby

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ravensandvultures.WhenPhrynesetupagoldenstatueofAphroditeinDelphi,Diogenesis saidtohavewrittenuponit:FromthelicentiousnessofGreece. Alexanderoncecameandstoodoppositehimandsaid,IamAlexanderthegreatking.And I,saidhe,amDiogenestheCynic.Beingaskedwhathehaddonetobecalledahound,he said,Ifawnonthosewhogivemeanything,Iyelpatthosewhorefuse,andIsetmyteethin rascals. Hewasgatheringfigs,andwastoldbythekeeperthatnotlongbeforeamanhadhangedhim selfonthatveryfigtree.Then,saidhe,Iwillnowpurgeit.SeeinganOlympianvictorcast ingrepeatedglancesatacourtesan,See,hesaid,yonderramfrenziedforbattle,howheis heldfastbytheneckfascinatedbyacommonminx.Handsomecourtesanshewouldcompare toadeadlyhoneyedpotion.Hewasbreakfastinginthemarketplace,andthebystandersgath eredroundhimwithcriesofdog.Itisyouwhoaredogs,criedhe,whenyoustandround andwatchmeatmybreakfast.Whentwocowardshidawayfromhim,hecalledout,Dont beafraid,ahoundisnotfondofbeetroot.Afterseeingastupidwrestlerpractisingasadoctor heinquiredofhim,Whatdoesthismean?Isitthatyoumaynowhaveyourrevengeonthe rivals who formerly beat you? Seeing the child of a courtesan throw stones at a crowd, he criedout,Takecareyoudonthityourfather. Aboyhavingshownhimadaggerthathehadreceivedfromanadmirer,Diogenesremarked, Aprettybladewithanuglyhandle.Whensomepeoplecommendedapersonwhohadgiven him a gratuity, he broke in with You have no praise for me who was worthy to receive it. Whensomeoneaskedthathemighthavebackhiscloak,Ifitwasagift,repliedDiogenes,I possessit;while,ifitwasaloan,Iamusingit.Asupposititiousventhavingtoldhimthathe hadgoldinthepocketofhisdress,True,saidhe,andthereforeyousleepwithitunderyour pillow.Onbeingaskedwhathehadgainedfromphilosophy,hereplied,Thisatleast,ifnoth ingelsetobepreparedforeveryfortune.Askedwherehecamefrom,hesaid,Iamacitizen oftheworld. Certainparentsweresacrificingtothegods,thatasonmightbeborntothem.But,saidhe, doyounotsacrificetoensurewhatmannerofmanheshallturnouttobe?Whenaskedfora subscriptiontowardsaclub,hesaidtothepresident: Despoiltherest;offHeetorkeepthyhands. Themistressesofkingshedesignatedqueens;for,saidhe,theymakethekingsdotheirbid ding. When the Athenians gave Alexander the title of Dionysus, he said, Me too you might makeSarapis.Someonehavingreproachedhimforgoingintodirtyplaces,hisreplywasthat thesuntoovisitscesspoolswithoutbeingdefiled. Whenhewasdininginatemple,andinthecourseofthemealloavesnotfreefromdirtwere putonthetable,hetookthemupandthrewthemaway,declaringthatnothinguncleanought toenteratemple.Tothemanwhosaidtohim,Youdontknowanything,althoughyouarea 11

philosopher,hereplied,EvenifIambutapretendertowisdom,thatinitselfisphilosophy. Whensomeonebroughtachildtohimanddeclaredhimtobehighlygiftedandofexcellent character,Whatneedthen,saidhe,hasheofme?Thosewhosayadmirablethings,butfail todothem,hecomparedtoaharp;fortheharp,likethem,hesaid,hasneitherhearingnor perception.Hewasgoingintoatheatre,meetingfacetofacethosewhowerecomingout,and beingaskedwhy,This,hesaid,iswhatIpracticedoingallmylife. Seeing a young man behaving effeminately, Are you not ashamed, he said, that your own intentionaboutyourselfshouldbeworsethannatures:fornaturemadeyouaman,butyou are forcing yourself to play the woman. Observing a fool tuning a psaltery, Are you not ashamed,saidhe,togivethiswoodconcordantsounds,whileyoufailtoharmonizeyoursoul withlife?Toonewhoprotestedthathewasilladaptedforthestudyofphilosophy,hesaid, Whythendoyoulive,ifyoudonotcaretolivewell?Toonewhodespisedhisfather,Are younotashamed,hesaid,todespisehimtowhomyouoweitthatyoucansoprideyourself? Noticing a handsome youth chattering in unseemly fashion, Are you not ashamed, he said, todrawadaggerofleadfromanivoryscabbard? Beingreproachedwithdrinkinginatavern,Well,saidhe,Ialsogetmyhaircutinabarbers shop.BeingreproachedwithacceptingacloakfromAntipater,hereplied: Thegodschoicegiftsarenowisetobespurned. WhensomeonefirstshookabeamathimandthenshoutedLookout,Diogenesstruckthe manwithhisstaffandaddedLookout.Toamanwhowasurgentlypressinghissuittoacour tesanhesaid,Why,haplessman,areyouatsuchpainstogainyoursuit,whenitwouldbebet terforyoutoloseit?Toonewithperfumedhairhesaid,Bewarelestthesweetscentonyour head cause an ill odour in your life. He said that bad men obey their lusts as servants obey theirmasters. Thequestionbeingaskedwhyfootmenaresocalled,hereplied,Becausetheyhavethefeetof men,butsoulssuchasyou,myquestioner,have.Heaskedaspendthriftforamine.Theman inquiredwhyitwasthatheaskedothersforanobolbuthimforamine.Because,saidDio genes,Iexpecttoreceivefromothersagain,butwhetherIshallevergetanythingfromyou againliesonthekneesofthegods.BeingreproachedwithbeggingwhenPlatodidnotbeg, Ohyes,sayshe,hedoes,butwhenhedoessoHeholdshisheaddownclose,thatnonemay hear. Seeingabadarcher,hesatdownbesidethetargetwiththewordsinordernottogethit.Lov ers,hedeclared,derivetheirpleasuresfromtheirmisfortune. Beingaskedwhetherdeathwasanevilthing,hereplied,Howcanitbeevil,wheninitspres ence we are not aware of it? When Alexander stood opposite him and asked, Are you not afraidofme?Why,whatareyou?saidhe,agoodthingorabad?UponAlexanderreplying A good thing, Who then, said Diogenes, is afraid of the good? Education, according to 12

him,isacontrollinggracetotheyoung,consolationtotheold,wealthtothepoor,andorna menttotherich.WhenDidymon,whowasarake,wasoncetreatingagirlseye,Beware,says Diogenes,lesttheoculistinsteadofcuringtheeyeshouldruinthepupil.Onsomebodyde claringthathisownfriendswereplottingagainsthim,Diogenesexclaimed,Whatistobedone then,ifyouhavetotreatfriendsandenemiesalike? Beingaskedwhatwasthemostbeautifulthingintheworld,hereplied,Freedomofspeech. Onenteringaboysschool,hefoundtheremanystatuesoftheMuses,butfewpupils.Bythe helpofthegods,saidhe,schoolmaster,youhaveplentyofpupils.Itwashishabittodoeve rythinginpublic,theworksofDemeterandofAphroditealike.Heusedtodrawoutthefollow ingarguments.Iftobreakfastbenotabsurd,neitherisitabsurdinthemarketplace;butto breakfast isnot absurd, therefore itis not absurd to breakfast in the marketplace. Behaving indecentlyinpublic,hewisheditwereaseasytobanishhungerbyrubbingthebelly.Many othersayingsareattributedtohim,whichitwouldtakelongtoenumerate. He used to affirm that training was of two kinds, mental and bodily: the latter being that whereby,withconstantexercise,perceptionsareformedsuchassecurefreedomofmovement for virtuous deeds; and the one half of this training is incomplete without the other, good healthandstrengthbeingjustasmuchincludedamongtheessentialthings,whetherforbody orsoul.Andhewouldadduceindisputableevidencetoshowhoweasilyfromgymnastictrain ingwearriveatvirtue.Forinthemanualcraftsandotherartsitcanbeseenthatthecraftsmen developextraordinarymanualskillthroughpractice.Again,takethecaseoffluteplayersandof athletes:whatsurpassingskilltheyacquirebytheirownincessanttoil;and,iftheyhadtrans ferredtheireffortstothetrainingofthemind,howcertainlytheirlabourswouldnothavebeen unprofitableorineffective. Nothinginlife,however,hemaintained,hasanychanceofsucceedingwithoutstrenuousprac tice; and this is capable of overcoming anything. Accordingly, instead of useless toils men shouldchoosesuchasnaturerecommends,wherebytheymighthavelivedhappily.Yetsuchis their madness that they choose to be miserable. For even the despising of pleasure is itself most pleasurable, when we are habituated to it; and just as those accustomed to a life of pleasurefeeldisgustwhentheypassovertotheoppositeexperience,sothosewhosetraining has been of the opposite kind derive more pleasure from despising pleasure than from the pleasuresthemselves.Thiswasthegistofhisconversation;anditwasplainthatheactedac cordingly,adulteratingcurrencyinverytruth,allowingconventionnosuchauthorityasheal lowedtonaturalright,andassertingthatthemanneroflifehelivedwasthesameasthatof Heracleswhenhepreferredlibertytoeverything. He maintained that all things are the propertyof the wise, and employed such arguments as thosecitedabove.Allthingsbelongtothegods.Thegodsarefriendstothewiseandfriends shareallpropertyincommon;thereforeallthingsarethepropertyofthewise.Againastolaw: thatitisimpossibleforsocietytoexistwithoutlaw;forwithoutacitynobenefitcanbederived fromthatwhichiscivilized.Butthecityiscivilized,andthereisnoadvantageinlawwithouta 13

city; therefore law is something civilized. He would ridicule good birth and fame and all such distinctions,callingthemshowyornamentsofvice.Theonlytruecommonwealthwas,hesaid, thatwhichisaswideastheuniverse.Headvocatedcommunityofwives,recognizingnoother marriagethanaunionofthemanwhopersuadeswiththewomanwhoconsents.Andforthis reasonhethoughtsonstooshouldbeheldincommon. Andhesawnoimproprietyeitherinstealinganythingfromatempleorineatingthefleshof anyanimal;norevenanythingimpiousintouchinghumanflesh,this,hesaid,beingclearfrom thecustomofsomeforeignnations.Moreover,accordingtorightreason,asheputit,allele mentsarecontainedinallthingsandpervadeeverything:sincenotonlyismeataconstituent ofbread,butbreadofvegetables;andallotherbodiesalso,bymeansofcertaininvisiblepas sagesandparticles,findtheirwayinandunitewithallsubstancesintheformofvapour.This he makes plain in the Thyestes, if the tragedies are really his and not the work of his friend PhiliscusofAeginaorofPasiphon,thesonofLucian,awhoaccordingtoFavorinusinhisMiscel laneousIlistorywrotethemafterthedeathofDiogenes.Heheldthatweshouldneglectmusic, geometry,astronomy,andthelikestudies,asuselessandunnecessary. Hebecameveryreadyalsoatreparteeinverbaldebates,asisevidentfromwhathasbeensaid above. Further,whenhewassoldasaslave,heendureditmostnobly.ForonavoyagetoAeginahe wascapturedbypiratesunderthecommandofScirpalus,conveyedtoCreteandexposedfor sale.Whentheauctioneeraskedinwhathewasproficient,hereplied,Inrulingmen.There uponhepointedtoacertainCorinthianwithafinepurplebordertohisrobe,themannamed Xeniadesabovementioned,andsaid,Sellmetothisman;heneedsamaster.ThusXeniades cametobuyhim,andtookhimtoCorinthandsethimoverhisownchildrenandentrustedhis wholehouseholdtohim.AndheadministereditinallrespectsinsuchamannerthatXeniades usedtogoaboutsaying,Agoodgeniushasenteredmyhouse. Cleomenes in his work entitled Concerning Pedagogues says that the friends of Diogenes wanted to ransom him, whereupon hecalled them simpletons; for, said he,lions are not the slavesofthosewhofeedthem,butratherthosewhofeedthemareatthemercyofthelions: forfearisthemarkoftheslave,whereaswildbeastsmakemenafraidofthem.Themanhadin fact a wonderful gift of persuasion, so that he could easilyvanquish anyone he liked in argu ment.AtalleventsacertainOnesieritusofAeginaissaidtohavesenttoAthenstheoneofhis two sons named Androsthenes, and he having become a pupil of Diogenes stayed there; the fatherthensenttheotheralso,theaforesaidPhiliscus,whowastheelder,insearchofhim;but Philiscusalsowasdetainedinthesameway.When,thirdly,thefatherhimselfarrived,hewas justasmuchattractedtothepursuitofphilosophyashissonsandjoinedthecirclesomagical wasthespellwhichthediscoursesofDiogenesexerted.AmongsthishearerswasPhocionsur namedtheHonest,andStilpotheMegarian,andmanyothermenprominentinpoliticallife. Diogenesissaidtohavebeennearlyninetyyearsoldwhenhedied.Regardinghisdeaththere areseveraldifferentaccounts.Oneisthathewasseizedwithcolicaftereatinganoctopusraw 14

andsomethisend.Anotheristhathediedvoluntarilybyholdinghisbreath.Thisaccountwas followedbyCercidasofMegalopolis(orofCrete),whoinhismeliambicswritesthus: NotsohewhoaforetimewasacitizenofSinope, Thatfamousonewhocarriedastaff,doubledhiscloak,andlivedintheopenair. Buthesoaredaloftwithhisliptightlypressedagainsthisteeth Andholdinghisbreathwithal.Forintruthhewasrightlynamed Diogenes,atruebornsonofZeus,ahoundofheaven. Anotherversionisthat,whiletryingtodivideanoctopusamongstthedogs,hewassoseverely bittenonthesinewofthefootthatitcausedhisdeath.Hisfriends,however,accordingtoAn tisthenesinhisSuccessiorzsofPhilosophers,conjecturedthatitwasduetotheretentionofhis breath.ForhehappenedtobelivingintheCraneum,thegymnasiuminfrontofCorinth.When hisfriendscameaccordingtocustomandfoundhimwrappedupinhiscloak,theythoughtthat hemustbeasleep,althoughhewasbynomeansofadrowsyorsomnolenthabit.Theythere foredrewasidehiscloakandfoundthathewasdead.Thistheysupposedtohavebeenhisde liberateactinordertoescapethenceforwardfromlife. Hence,itissaid,aroseaquarrelamonghisdisciplesastowhoshouldburyhim:nay,theyeven cametoblows;but,whentheirfathersandmenofinfluencearrived,undertheirdirectionhe wasburiedbesidethegateleadingtotheIsthmus.Overhisgravetheysetupapillarandadog inParianmarbleuponit.Subsequentlyhisfellowcitizenshonouredhimwithbronzestatues,on whichtheseverseswereinscribed: Timemakesevenbronzegrowold:butthygloryDiogenes,alleternitywillnever destroy.Sincethoualonedidstpointouttomortalsthelessonofselfsufficiency andtheeasiestpathoflife.
Source: Diogenes Laertius. Lives of Eminent Philosophers. Vol. 2. Trans. R. D. Hicks. London, WilliamHeinemann,1925.

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