Waiting for Weather by Travis Cooper

Martin Hitchcock treads a fine__line between living hopelessly and a deliberate death.

* * *

Martin Hitchcock was one of the poorest souls to ever walk this blue orb we call earth. Old Hitchcock didn't have a friend in the world, not a mate, not a pet, nor did he want one. However, he was once accompanied by a small gold fish, but the cost of food exceeded his miserly budget so he eventually flushed it down the toilet. Of course, the fish was still alive at the time.

Every second Friday a cleaner came over to Hitchcock's house. As much as he hated people, he hated cleaning even more, so Martin hired a maid to help around the house. He had only spoken to Maria the maid once after employing her, and that was to tell her not to go near his desk as he did not want her to put 'germs' on his work.

Hitchcock lived to work, and worked to live. His idea of recreation was to review his bills, income and tax records from previous years. The only thing outside of his work that made him happy was warm weather, which was quite remarkable considering he rarely ventured outside. At exactly 6:26 each night he turned on the television to hear the weather report, his heart set on a good result.

He was a lone accountant, with a small number of loyal clients who stayed with him for almost fifty years. Unfortunately he had not anticipated the effect of time on his firm, and as each of his clients went into retirement, or simply dropped dead, the day eventually came when he had no clients left. Indeed, when that day came he had nothing to do but feel sorry for himself. He felt so sorry, in fact, that he tied a noose to the rafters of his lounge room. Hitchcock had decided that as soon as the weather turned bad, he would have nothing in the world to live for, and so he

would kill himself.

Hitchcock was from Melbourne, Australia and it was the middle of winter there. Since it rains there quite frequently this should be the end of the tale, and would, but for one thing Hitchcock relied on the television broadcast to confirm the weather outside.

The fiasco of Martin Hitchcock began on a Monday night. At 6:26 Hitchcock positioned himself on a chair, with the noose around his headd, set to jump from the chair and end his life when he heard the bad news from the weather man.

"Well, today we experienced a moderate low just below Australian bight, but tommorow will be a fine 17 degrees."

the

So Hitchcock lived to see yet another day. He spent it at his desk, brooding on his own misfortune. Tuesday night he climbed onto the very back of the chair, and perched there poised to hear the weather report.

"Tommorow, will be around otherwise mainly fine."

15

degrees,

little

cloudy

but

On Wednesday Hitchcock pulled a table out from the kitchen and moved it to where the chair had been. At 6:26 he turned on the television set, then stood on the table with the noose around his neck.

"Tomorrow, 9 degrees a cool but fine day."

And so Martin lived out another petulant day. By Thursday night the chair was on top of the table, and Hitchcock was on top of the chair. The noose was around his neck, and a knife in his right hand. He ground his teeth and awaited the weather announcer.

"Thursday, a few showers, top of 13 degrees but becoming fine."

And so the tale continued for another week, each and every day was fine, mainly fine, or becoming fine.

The next Friday night the maid came around to clean the house. She removed her soaked raincoat and clipped it to the rack by the front door. As she walked into the lounge she noticed that the television was still on. The sports section of the news had just finished, and the weather man was being introduced.

"Thanks John." the weather man said, as he grabbed a pointer from his pocket, and the weather map appeared.

Maria, the cleaning lady walked into Hitchcocks bedroom, but couldn't find him. She looked in the kitchen and bathroom, but there was no sign of him any where.

"It seems a low is appearing here in the northerly regions, and will move down in a southerly direction as this high pattern moves over the bight."

Maria was quite confused by the stack of furniture in the lounge and could not think where Hitchcock could be. At last she decided to go into his office and look for him there.

"A top of 13 today, and a low of 4 neat Mount Bulla. A little drizle in some areas, which cleared to a fine day".

She pried open the door and sneaked a look inside. There, slumped at his desk was Hitchcok. His head was turned toward the lounge room, a drop of blood nestled on his lip, his hand on his chest and his eyes closed. Maria screamed. A clap of thunder came from outside, and then Hitchcock's glazed eyes opened. He clutched his chest with one hand and waved her away with the other. Maria stood outside the room quite shocked and unsure what to do. Hitchcock

uttered moans and muffled cries of agony. Maria tried to make out what he was saying.

"If it wasn't.for the damn weather been.just fine" Hitchcock muttered.

man..thingswould

have

The television continued in the background. "And tomorow fine in all areas with a top of 16." "Thanks Erik" the news presenter beamed. "And fine-ly tonight."

Hitchcock called out from his small office. "No." he coughed. "Today will not be fine. Today my veins will clog up, my heart will explode and I will die." And he did.