My family and I were watching a movie when the phone rang.

My dad answered it saying "City morgue, you kill 'em we chill 'em. How may I help you?" After an "Oh yes, I see" and a couple "uh huh"'s He hung up. Looked at my mom and said "We have one coming in tomorrow morning." They both went back to watching the movie. This morning I woke up to a knocking on the door. It was the fed-ex man with a very large box. I'm still wondering MLIA
Roses are red, Violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are dying and the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head! The fact that I don't have a criminal record doesn't mean I'm a good girl. It just means I'm good at not getting caught , too! ;) There are 3 brothers; Somebody, Nobody,& Crazy. Somebody got mad at Nobody& killed Nobody. Crazy went to the police; "SOMEBODY KILLED NOBODY!""R u crazy?""YES" Awesome ends in me. Ugly starts with u I hate my phone it's stupid so I turned my phone onto "airplane mode" and threw it up into the air... Worst. Transformer. Ever . Your not insane when you ask your self why you apologized to the chair you bumped into.Your insane when the voice in you head replies,"Because it has feelings." kid:"Dad can we go 2 McDonald's?" Dad:"only if u can spell McDonald's" kid, thought 4 a min n said,"Can we go 2 "KFC?" One way to get kicked out of Wall-mart: When the announcer person comes on, throw everything on the floor, duck down, and scream"THE VOICES! THEY"RE BACK!!" This is Bob (^.^) Bob stole my cookie (o.0) Goodbye Bob (x.X) i didn't fall, the floor jumped up and hit me! ever noticed that lol looks like a drowning man??? bet she didn't laugh out loud!! ~^~lol~^~ ha ha now she's surrounded by sharks husband and wife go past a field of sheep, goats, and pigs, the husband asks sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws

Math questions are so stupid! They're like "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?" Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?! HOW DID WE MEET? Everyone play this game! Copy and paste this phrase on your profile and see what everyone says! [this could be entertaining! ha ha] I'm not smart, I'm just not as stupid as everyone else. - Albert Einstein when I'm quiet, those that don't know me look at me and think I'm shy. People who know me think: OMG! she's thinking! EVERYBODY RUN! lmfao. Heheee Paddy and Murphy sat at the airport.Murphy says"I wish I'd brought the television" "why are you bored?" asks Paddy. "No the passports are on top of it" did u know if u watch the titanic backwards its about a magical boat that saves people. just saying I may be nice, I may be sweet but piss me off and youre dead meat a friend walks beside you telling you you are over reacting. A best friend walks beside you giggling saying, someone's gonna get it. breaking up with your partner & saying "we can still be friends" is like your dog dying & your mum saying "you can still keep it" My brother & I were flying kites when a man walks up and asks, "y'all flying kites?" I looked at her straight faced and said, "Nope! We're fishing for birds!" Pickup line of the day: Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? A B C D E F G! Gummy bears are chasing me, 1 is red, 1 is blue, 1 is trying to steal my shoe, NOW I'm running 4 my life cause the red 1 has a knife! Some kids were dropped as a baby ... you were clearly thrown in the air, smacked by a ceiling fan, hitting the wall, and tossed out the window.. If your reading this, its because i have mind control and I'm making you! :D when someone you don't like starts talking to you, interrupt them and say something completely random like "I just love pickles don't you?" and then walk away I am getting married on February 30th. Everyone is invited to attend.