He runs right into the shock of her presence, thrown back and winded and staring, thinking how

did that get there. He knows that face, the one laughing and smiling at all the other women around her. Shes all lit up, bright, as she tells some story. Her expression twists every time she mimics someone, tiny nose scrunched up and small mouth curled and those big, big eyes dancing five different colors. He knows that face. But last time he saw it was covered in grime and blood, all collapsed with exhaustion, the kind you cant know unless youve been places and seen things that just make you wanna forfeit. Her big eyes were dim and clouded, their only color why. And her mouth was all split open and when she smiled - more like bared her teeth in a skeleton of a grin - her front tooth was gone and the rest oozed dark red. That face is never gonna leave him. Not like she left. Whole family disappeared the day after, taking her with them. And he never got to see her, cos she didnt say goodbye. After everything, she didnt even bother saying goodbye. But now shes here, returned to the town she abandoned, playing catch up with a bunch of girls he bets she didnt say goodbye to either. They dont care, though, that she just appeared, an apparition straight from ten years ago, looking just like she always did. Shes got a new tooth; he sees it when she throws her head back and laughs, real big and open and fake. He knows, cos hes been faking it too. Who could laugh after that day? Maybe he couldve, if shed stayed. If thered been another person who knew how he felt and could see that he was faking, lying through his teeth to get through the day. Shed understand the nightmares, the flashbacks, the need to keep silent and say nothing. The thought pulsing under everything else, a constant stream of saved your lives saved your lives your lives. He wouldnt have to bite his tongue around her. Hes said that to himself, at night, when the darks alive and hungry. If only she were here. Shed fix this, like she fixed everything that day. He mightve saved her but shes the one who saved everything. Doesnt she remember? Doesnt she have the past growling at her ankles? She goes up to the bar, where hes sitting down on the other end. Orders a drink and leans forward, her hair sweeping around her. It was so tangled and filthy that day that she said, when they got back, that shed probably have to cut it all off and her mom would kill her. He wants to ask, did you? did you cut it off? He wants to slide over to her and say hello. Dont you remember me. We saved the world together. Wants to shake her shoulders, shout dont you remember? in that face until it turns back ten years into the broken one he knows best. We went to space together. We fell down a hole and went to another world. We were storybook characters, and you almost died. I saved you, and you smiled at me, and her tooth had gotten knocked out, blood was running down her chin, he wanted to kiss her but didnt want to remember it tasting like copper. They took us, and you were crying, her face so pale and scared but her nose raw and red, and she was shaking, and he could feel how cold her skin was where their arms were pressed together. We killed people. We killed a man who wanted to rob the world.

Something right out of a story, but they had no happy ending. Cos he never kissed her, and when they finally fell back to earth she got whisked away, and his mom took him to the hospital and then they never spoke of it again. And he still doesnt speak about it. Who would believe him? Shes about to take her drink back to her friends, but he steps in front of her. She st eps sideways, says look, Im not interested and he says her name and she snaps her neck around and stares, eyes huge and startled. He wants to say dont you remember but it comes out, you look great. Thank you, she answers. It sounds like a question, the you all high-pitched and uncertain. They stand there. Hes got ten billion questions running through his head; his mind is shrieking at him ask her ask her; the past is standing behind him, breathing down his neck, cold and unrelenting. Whyd you leave? he says, finally. Its still not what he wants to say. What? she says, and takes a step back, poised to spring. He cant let her leave, not again. If she gets away and he never knows the world is gonna swallow him up, him and his murky memories. He reaches out, grabs at her hand - we held hands on the way back to earth but she yanks away, and his arm drops back to his side, burnt at the warmth in her touch, the rejection. Dont you he starts to say, but someone calls her name. I have to go, she says. Sorry. She doesnt sound sorry at all. He lets her walk around him and swift back to her friends. He hears her say, oh, just an old friend... He walks out of the bar, his memories dragging behind him. He stands outside in the cold. The past wraps an arm around him and holds him close.