BIOGRAPHY of GULLEY JIMPSON by Prof S Ofer Draft ONE

08 GULLEY IS BORN

[Wed 01 Oct 1952]

Lady was thinking that her morning sickness this time had not been so pronounced as before. Others
were wondering if the erratic decision making over the past few months might not be due to Lady's
burgeoning condition. But Lady would not have agreed. Her gynecologist calculated conception as being
early in the fourth week of June. Full term would be early in the second week of March. And with
motherhood, she felt her perceptions had never been sharper.

She was in her fourth month and she had to accept that her small stature could no longer contain the
obvious. She decided that she did not want to hide it. So, she asked for a maternity leave. The
Company's personnel office was not that well versed in dealing with maternity matters, but they knew that
now they should have to make new policies. She was put on indefinite leave (with pay) as of 01 October
1952.

That particular Tuesday was a beautiful Fall day -- the first day of her leave. She left her office at
Leconfield House and walked across to Hyde Park. The leaves were turning. Many were falling. Brisk air.
Fall is a beautiful time to be alive, especially when one's self is carrying new life. She had decided that
this was going to be her present to Giles -- to make up for killing their first baby. Lady had never felt so
positive, so productive and so full of the joie de vivre. Motherhood was wonderful. Unhappily, with all of
those good feelings, she was not blessed a stronger sense of reality.

Looking around as though for the first time, Lady was only now feeling a part of this complex layering of
lives and buildings called London. Yes. This was her place too. It would be a good place to return to. Now,
however, she was headed for Gibraltar, and then a quick tour of the remains of her former life in Malta.
She walked back to Curzon Street looking at the buildings down the East side of Park Lane. These had
become her buildings. It was not often that her sensations were this strong anymore. And she had not
even had a drink today. She knew that she was drinking too much. She would have to change that. The
doctor told her she should not drink with the baby coming, but that was really a warning for the first
trimester. Like her misplaced urge to please Giles, it was too late now.

Anyway, this was a beautiful day to enjoy, to be alive. Her lemo came down the drive to pick her up, and
as they were headed to her apartment she was thinking that it was silly to think of Fall as a time of dieing.
Something about being so full of energy amidst the falling leaves made one more filled with the juices of
existence. She was feeling positively philosophical.

The porter at her apartment house brought out her bags and stowed them easily in the boot. She was
starting her leave with an amazingly light trunk. The Company lemo took her out to The Company air field
in Luton to catch The Company flight piloted by Air Enterprises, The Company's airline. British Overseas
Airways Corporation had just started up as a government carrier. They were flying the brand new jet
planes, the Havilland Comets. She had never flown in a jet. Air Enterprises was testing one for a new

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route to South Africa. They were going to drop her off at the newly extended strip on North Field in
Gibraltar.

Lady had heard of a peculiarity of jet planes. She asked the pilot of her Comet if it were true that a jet had
so much difficulty in its initial roll – that is, getting up speed – that a person could hold it back with one's
hand? The pilot laughed and said he did know where that myth came from. Maybe it had been true of the
first jet engines. But better not stand out there trying to hold this baby back. They were taxing out to the
foot of the runway as he said: Strap yourself in for the take off and you tell me what you think.

Already Lady was puzzling over the new whining noises of these engines. They sounded asthmatic. She
was having her doubts as they actually whistled. Then the engines erupted into an awful roar. She had
never heard such a loud sound. The cabin violently vibrated and she was immediately pushed back in her
seat. The roaring increased as wind noise was added to it. The wheels clunked into place, and the
captain throttled back. Lady was wide eyed from the experience. The WAAF Sargent acting as attendant
came back and invited Col. Jimpson to the cockpit.

Lady laughingly said she was glad that this myth was now laid to rest. When asked if she would like to
take the controls, she declined saying she would rather be checked out in jets first. The Captain said:
Well, do not get too comfy back there. This is not like when you used to fly to Gibraltar. We will be setting
down at Gib in a little more than two hours. Lady was wondering if this were some new myth?

Even with the new 1,800 yard runway, the Comet needed every inch it could extract. Lady knew that
feeling. As she was thanking the crew for the lovely flight, she glanced at her watch. She had boarded the
Comet at Luton at 1310 and it was now 1602. Such speed was just too much for her mind to grasp at the
moment.

Checking with Gibraltar Operations she found that an RAF flight from the Azores was scheduled in
tomorrow to refuel for their Athens destination. They had been asked if they could detour to drop Col.
Jimpson off at Hal Far. No problem, was their reply.

Lady got a staff car to take her to her apartment, and found it in beautiful shape – primarily because a
Spanish cleaning crew had given it a 'good sweep' the previous week. It is good, she was thinking that the
place is clean. I am just too tired to do anything now. Lady kicked off her shoes and almost fell onto the
bed. It appeared that she was asleep before her head hit the pillows.

Evening had fallen when she awoke. She splashed water in her face, brushed her teeth and her thick hair,
looked at the slight bulge of her abdomen in the mirror, and went out to get a bite to eat, feeling quite
proud of herself. She chose the Spanish restaurant that she and Giles had liked so much – only it was
now a slick Italian shoe store. As she walked she realized that she had never really seen Gibraltar with its
people. The times she had passed through since the war had allowed no time off base. Women and
children made so much difference. Especially, the children. Lady, who had never paid attention to little
ones, now carefully watched the few not home, being tucked into bed. The evening was a bit chilly for her,
and she stopped in a store to buy a bright African patterned shawl. Good thing their shops stay open in
the evening.

She enjoyed immensely seeing the Rock in its natural state, but she was growing tired of walking up and
down so many hilly streets. Finally she spotted a sign: TRATTERIA. That did not look Spanish. No, as she
looked in, it is Italian. Is this end of town now given over to the Italians? She went in and was given the
last seat with a view of the hills where the sun had set over Spain. She ordered Veal picatta, oil and butter
sauce on her spaghetti, and a bottle of white Italian wine.

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The veal was tender and the sauce was good. She did not allow herself to think about drinking the bottle
of wine. After all, she was quite tired. Upon paying her bill, she asked where the nearest off-license would
be? Good. It was on the way back to her apartment off of Main Street.

It was a good thing she had worn sandals, but she was being made to realize that her muscles were not
used to non-healed strolling. Finding the off-license she bought a bottle of Madeira and started to leave.
Then she turned back to get a bottle of Vodka. When she finally reached home she immediately uncorked
the Madeira and poured out a full port glass of the golden liquid. She sipped it as she lay in bed thumbing
through a couple of magazines she had picked up.

When she could keep her eyes open no longer she put out the lights. Immediately she was fast asleep.

[Thur 02 Oct 1952]

Waking with the sun the next morning she noticed the port glass was only half drunk. She downed the
remainder and made a face. Being left open all night did not improve its flavor. Unhappily, she had no
phone to call the Field for a pickup. She gathered her bags for the Malta trip, wearing the flight overalls
she would need at Malta, and started walking, looking for a taxi. It turned out that this was no problem,
She found a taxi rank at the Church. Leaving her things at the Operations office, she walked to the
Officer's Mess – now in its separate building. It was the same good solid 'chow' that the upper ranks had
always enjoyed.

The RAF flight from the Azores was due at 1000hrs, so she returned to wait at the Operations building. Lo
and behold, what did she see winging in over Algeciras Bay but an old Lockeed Hudson. She could not
help laughing. The Hudson crew stayed only long enough to gas up and head out to the East with their
new passanger, but not having to worry about the Luftwaffe. Yes, this noisy sort of piston engine vibration
did seem a bit primitive after the super sleek Comet. But this was really flying – well, not quite as real as
in the open cockpit of the Hadley Page V/1500 in which she had first learned the art of landing.

She was thinking that her thoughts were dwelling awfully much on the past during this trip. Well, maybe
this really is a trip into the past? But to herself she was beginning to sound like an old woman, constantly
reliving the old days. The Captain did not offer to let her fly. Maybe he thought she was too old?

She noticed that they had no trouble aiming straight at Malta. Such is the improvement in radar. They
landed. She got her own gear off. And they flew out headed for Athens. Lady checked with the Duty
Officer for a return flight to Gib. He said none were scheduled here, but he could divert one. When did she
want to leave? Day after tomorrow she thought. Fine, he said. Unless you check back with me for the
time, better be here about sun up. Very well, Lady said and called for a taxi.

Before she went to her destroyed property she was taken to a hotel in Qormi, very near her property. She
checked in, took out her traveling bottle of Vodka and poured a shot. Then gathering up gloves and her
keys to the gate, she returned to her waiting taxi. Paying off the taxi at the site, she hated to turn around
and look at the ruins. When she did, it was not as bad as she imagined. Well, the lawyer's clearing of
debris helped a great deal. As she unlocked the gate she could see how neatly the timbers, ruptured
panels and even the twisted and glassless metal window frames had been stacked – where once there
had been her beautiful home. She sat on a stack of wall tiles, and looked into the past. She sat that way a
long time. The sun was already down. Not remembering to bring a flashlight (after all, it had been a bright
afternoon when she left the hotel), she felt no urge to remain there.

Returning to the hotel, Lady showered and changed into a bright dress which set off the color of her dark

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skin, hair and eyes. The hotel dining room was serving and it was just too convenient to pass up. She
ordered green peppers stuffed with lampuki, small new potatoes on the side and peas. For desert she
had Kawarezimal, or almond cakes. She was finishing off her bottle of Chablis with the cakes and decided
not to order coffee.

Again she felt so tired. Was that a condition of her pregnancy? She was used to a boundless energy, but
was forced to deal with its opposite on this trip. Perhaps she had simply failed to notice it at work, for she
had been intentionally slowing down. Lady was happy to return to her room. She ordered an Armagnac
from room service and sat in the dark listening to radio music of the Mediterranean. She had not realized
she could miss the twangy sound of Greek music so much.

[Friday 03 Oct 1952]

Tired as she had been the day before, she was up with the sun, dressed in town clothes, and eager to
have breakfast. She ordered Zalaett tal-Malti and Krustini – which to everyone else would simply be
saussage and biscuits. But in Malta the saussage carries an Arab seasoning and the country biscuits are
hearty enough to be a meal in themselves.

Lady put her work gloves in her shoulder bag and headed for her property again. She poked and
prodded, lifted boards and pushed boxes of broken things around to see just what had been recovered.
But this work was awfully dusty and she had seen enough to convince her that no stray maroon leather
books had been found. She locked up again and began walking slowly toward the Grand Port, with its ring
of fortresses stuck out on fingers all around its famous pair of bays.

Wandering from her primary track (toward Valletta), Lady found the Catholic Church where she had
shared her last tin of bully beef. She could not help wondering what had happened to Emily – and the
others. Unhappily, the Church had not been rebuilt. It still bore the blackened places where the stew pots
were cooked. The place depressed her and she walked on toward Valletta.

Finding San Guzepp Boulevard, she sought out a place for lunch. She had grown a bit warm walking in
the Autumn air of the Mediterranean and wanted a cooling drink. She sipped on her very English gin and
tonic, taking it on the rocks American style, while waiting for a beef sandwich and cheese. After cooling
off, Lady walked on down Trig Sant' Anna toward the Saint James Bastion. She was, of course, slowly
making her way to the Orthodox Church of Saint George in Merchant's Street.

Standing outside the entry, Lady thought of her visit here that fateful day she refused to leave with her
parents. She could never forget the overwhelming sense that day of the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Probably, she was thinking, it will not be that way now. And it was not, as she passed into the candle lit
dimness of the Narthex. This time she lit a single taper in the sand filled stand and prayed earnestly for
Giles. Then thinking of how much she had lost, she lit two more for her parents. The three great earthly
icons in her life, her parents and her husband, she had simply tossed away, like old shoes. OH, OH, how
wicked she had been.

Lady went slowly and tearfully into the Nave, and then up the low steps to the Solea to stand in front of
the wall of icons, the Iconostasis. She stared up at the Mother of God, the Theotokos. Then she leaned
over and put her head upon that precious Icon. After a bit she tried to make a standing metanoia, wherein
she should make the sign of the Cross and then sweep her three fingers down to the floor – but she could
do that no longer; much less was she able to kneel in a ball, her head on her knees.

Even so, she was being awakened to the terrible things she had been doing to herself. She realized that
her unhappy ways were not just blows struck upon her parents and Giles; they were slashes upon herself

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and they had fundamentally throttled her ability to hear the still, quiet voice of God, He whom her parents
had called EYW. Oh my Lord, she wailed. Save this wretched soul.

She was sobbing so violently that she could hardly find her way off the Solea. She was so wracked by
having to face the reality of the wreckage she had made of her life that she could hardly stand. She
looked for a place to sit. Churches in the old world were not filled with pews. In the tradition of the greatest
Church of all, Ayia Sophia in Constantinople, where even the Emperor had stood during the long hours of
the Divine Liturgy. Looking through her tears into the gloom Lady found a bench for old people. She sat,
wept and prayed.

No doubt about it. She had been fooling herself that she did not need the Church and her family. At first
she was supposing she had entertained such an awful error because she had lost her Book and the only
means for returning. Being cut off is what had depressed her so much. But as she wept and prayed the
reality was dawning of the fuller Truth.

Dear Holy Mother of God, Thou who hast never failed me when I have called upon Thee, why why why
have I turned my back upon Thee? It is open to me now that, having lost the Book, I had not lost Thee.
Thou wert the window to my answers. But I turned away. In my self-pity I have mistakenly seen the loss of
the Book as the final destruction, when in Truth, such finality is pronounced only by Thy Son.

Ohhhhhh! Lady wailed from her spare, hard bench. The Truth of what she had been doing to herself was
unbearable.

She could not stand more of the Truth, so she stopped praying, and gradually she stopped crying. She
was beyond caring that it is through fervent tears of true repentance that one finds the light of forgiveness.
Even now, it was not too late. Yet, she was unable to stand the Truth.

As she stumbled slowly out of the Church, she could not avoid the awareness that this occasion did not
put things right. Here, today, she had only been allowed a glimpse of what had been her errant course.
She still had not begun repairing all the breaches in the wall of her soul. The Holy Spirit of God had given
her Giles to help her find her way, but she had persistently destroyed every path he had tried to open for
her. She realized now why she was seeking Giles out at last, how she was trying to bribe him with her
baby.

Maybe that portion of her life, still might be repaired? Maybe that was her hope in this forlorn situation.
She was totally spent. Flagging down a taxi Lady returned to her hotel and fell upon her bed. But her mind
was whirling and would not sleep. Pulling herself up, she undressed, washed her face, and poured three
fingers of Vodka into a tumbler. She drank it as she stood looking out at the setting sun. This will put her
to sleep in spite of the terrible voices in her head.

[Saturday 04 Oct 1952]

As ever, Lady woke with the sun and packed. She quickly paid her bill and called a taxi. The D.O. at Hal
Far said to be there at sunrise. She hoped she was not late. As it turned out, it would be a couple of hours
before her flight would arrive. She sat and drank coffee in the Operations back room and tried not to think
too much about the special revelation which had been offered to her yesterday. It was simply too painful.
She wished she had a shot of Rye to put in this horrid coffee.

As she opened the door to her apartment in Gibraltar, Lady no longer remembered how delighted she had
been to do this only a few days earlier. Now, this place seemed grim and lonely. It was a horrid cell she
was made to take up because of her pregnancy. She could not stay in this place alone. She stowed her

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Malta gear and caught a taxi at the Church. In the Operations office she made a phone call to ever faithful
Edward in London.

Edward was not immediately available, so she left word that he was to find where Giles had gone. She
had not seen Giles since they had argued over his failure to take up Edwards offer of a contract with MI5.
But she desperately needed him now. Once Giles had been located, she asked Edward to tell him where
she was, and then for Edward to send a message back to her through Operations North Airfield. Please,
have them deliver it to her apartment.

[Sunday 05 Oct 1952]

Edward got Lady's communication – more like a royal command – the next day. No bones about it.
Edward did not like Giles. But as Lady knew, Edward was indeed totally loyal to her. It was to Edward's
credit that he never failed to appreciate the great fortune which had brought her to him in Malta. Had it not
been for that great and fortunate event, Edward knew quite well he would have been washed out of MI5
long ago.

Edward began carrying out his orders quite logically by checking back with the Goring, where he had last
been seen. Indeed, he still enjoyed residence there, but he seldom partook of the privilege anymore.
Edward thus wrote a note and placed in an envelope for Giles' Goring box. The note said that Lady was in
house in Gibraltar and she desperately needed to see him. Edward then dutifully reported as much to
North Airfield Operations and asked them to deliver it to Col. Jimpson's apartment. Edward then set about
his normal duties.

Lady most happily received the note, but then she had to sit about on pins and needles waiting for Giles
to respond. But it is most unhappy that she was destined to consume a great deal of Vodka during this
trying waiting period.

[Thursday 09 Oct 1952]

It was fortunate for everyone that Giles immediately took leave from his SIS duties upon finding Edward's
note in his box. He caught the train from Madrid to Gibraltar and appeared at Lady's door in the Mews
only four days after Lady had received Edward's last message.

No one answered his knock, so Giles opened the door and entered. Even in the dim light, the place was
littered with trash and liquor bottles – some of which were not completely emptied. She was not in sight.
Giles set his bags down and took off his trench coat (all self respecting spies had to wear a trench coat,
and Giles supported the image as a joke). Without trying to be quiet, Giles scuffed his way across the
living room to the closed bedroom door. He hesitated, remembering other unfortunate surprise entries to
her apartment. Then he fairly loudly clicked open the bedroom door and looked inside.

Lady was unceremoniously sprawled 'face down' on her unkempt bed. Arms spread wide, her head was
turned away from Giles. She was snoring lightly with each in breath. He could not retain his initial disgust
over the living room scene very long, for as he sat on the bed at her side, he could not resist gently
stroking the round of her perfect bottom -- advertised as it was under its thin night gown. And with that, all
the huge love he had felt for the person who lay buried somewhere behind all this beautiful scenery came
to the fore.

Perhaps, it had been her desperate plea for attention, given in the very face of her denial of his affections,
that broke down his resistance. Clearly, the now exposed helplessness of her plight tugged at Giles
natural sympathies, but even more clearly, this awful and all absorbing love he felt for her would not let
him remain distant. Even the fact that he knew full well that Lady also knew full well that she had control

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over his puppet strings – even the awareness of this emasculating truth could not stop these rising
emotions from taking over his person.

Sitting, the pleasure of palm against bottom, listening to her breathing out and snoring in, became one of
those moments which Giles would have been happy to carry on, uninterrupted, for ever. For her part,
even in her sodden state, the true urgency of her need for Giles would not let Lady remain in the darkness
of troubled sleep. Something in her was telling her to wake up. Even as her eyes began to open she knew
it was her precious husband who was gently waking her. Then the release of her loneliness unloaded in
sudden energy and she wheeled over and sprang up in a single action, grabbing Giles before he knew
what had hit him, as she screamed, SANDY!

The startling agility of the move so overpowered Giles, that with the screaming kisses upon his face (and
anything belonging to him that she could grab), it took a minute or two in the confusion for his mind to
register something he had barely seen as she fairly leaped upon him. Was she pregnant?

When the onslaught calmed down and they had their arms about each other, Giles, nose buried in the
wonderful smell of her black hair, while she nestled under his chin, mumbled through the waves of black:
Col. Jimpson, if I am not wrong, you are pregnant?

Lady squealing in delight threw herself back upon the bed and put Giles hand over her belly. Isn't this
wonderful, Sandy? This child is for you, my dearest one.

He had never seen her in such an ecstatic state, so thoroughly enlivened. There was more power and
energy disseminated through her love over this moment than Giles had ever seen in the wildest orgy of
their love making – and that is saying something. Giles was caught up in the great celebration of her life
giving, and he hoped he could keep down his forebodings concerning this child's other parent. So he
refused to voice his concern, and hoped he did not dampen Lady's explosive enthusiasm – perhaps even
mania.

She came back into his arms, keeping one of his hands upon her warm belly. Life was so complete for her
at this moment that she could not recall that it had ever been different. Giles was drawn into this explosion
of fulfillment right along with her, temporary though it were. He was wondering how he had recognized her
pregnancy. On most other women Lady's belly would not have shown. Perhaps, it was the smallness of
her body that allowed him to make the contrast. Or, maybe, it was the memory of her small flat abdomen
which contrasted to the gentle roundness, gave it away by comparison.

Indeed, it was so perfect a moment that he may imagine nothing to match it. He was so full of his love for
her that he could not keep his lips from their insatiable desire to taste every inch of her skin. They began
to kiss and fondle each other and make amazingly slow advances of love upon, first one then then the
other. Purposefully slow was their mantra. Ups and downs of never before experienced sensations
passed between them. One high followed by a small calming moment, on to a greater high. Once or twice
Giles became conscious of how extraordinary was this afternoon, but he knew that Lady was thinking
nothing of the kind. She was so totally absorbed into the moment that her energy took him along – if
indeed his were lagging, which may not have been the case.

Giles, who did think about these things, afterward confessed to himself that no matter what followed, no
matter what had happened earlier, the hours spent under Lady's spell that afternoon were of themselves
the content of a lifetime of happiness. It is good that Giles made this sort of promise to himself, for the
experience of his life with this unfathomable woman told him that here was an apex, not a constant, of
their reality together.

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Still, the Fall passed with these two lovers being as one, as at no other time. All that Fall they loved and
dreamed and lived in a way that Giles could not have imagined possible – perhaps, even Lady was
surprised at the completeness of their union that Fall. But of course, like most things in her life, she took
this to its full enjoyment, without question.

By Christmas, Lady's small torso seemed dominated by the extended load she was carrying. In large part
Giles had been successful in getting Lady to cut back on her drinking. He wondered at times how different
their lives as a couple would have been had he exercised more control over her life. Particularly, he was
thinking, he should not have left her when she refused to send her Irish lover away. But even now, he
could not picture what else he might of done. Still, the question remained. The question seemed to
surface when he left Lady to her emotional devices.

For the time being, Giles was determined to be a force in getting Lady to stop drinking. This of course, led
to many arguments, a lot of mean and hateful retorts, and no little strife in general. He had to remind
himself many times that, yes, this unpleasantness over the drinking issue was exacerbated by her
changing chemistry due to pregnancy, but is was also the genuine response of a drunkard cut off from
their supply. As it was, the love he carried gave him strength to continue, even when he doubted his own
actions.

It was the nature of this abiding conflict, this bete noire between them, that once Giles has assumed the
role of responsibility, Lady pretty much let herself go. At first Giles thought it was irresponsible on her part
to give up the degree of control she had struggled to maintain, and he resented it. But gradually, he began
to realize that this too was part of the duty he had signed on for. Without Giles' presence, Lady had
struggled with her drinking as well as she could, and it was as clear to her as Giles that she was losing –
had lost – that battle. Thus, when Mr. Responsibility came into view, Lady could finally let go of the reigns;
and this left her having to defend the beast upon her back. Giles began to understand that it was not
really her willful reversion to total irresponsibility. It was actually that side of her self without control
features built in. Giles was the only one who could shoulder this load of guiding Lady's course of
responsibility. That she was not going to make it easy for him may have come as a small shock, but it was
also part of his maturing that he learned of these things.

The big picture was that in becoming the missing half of Lady's moral fiber at this rather late date, he was
facing full on the measure of her deterioration now versus what it would likely have been, had he been
mature enough to have played this role a decade earlier. It also illustrated the awaiting disaster had he
put it off much longer.

The small picture was that Lady could be counted on to exercise every devious ruse she could concoct in
order to thwart this merciless harassment from her partner. She was forcing Giles to love her enough to
drag her kicking and screaming into motherhood.

It was not a pretty Christmas. In the fit of an argument, the harassed 'harasser' let his suspicions burst
forth due to Lady's prodding. She burst out saying, totally against her own well being, that Giles was not
man enough to have children. Giles suddenly became quiet, and glared at her – which for him was pretty
unusual. He almost caught Lady off guard by asking: Tell me again, when is your baby due?

Something in Giles' 'your baby' phrase warned her. Without missing a beat she glared right back at him: I
have told you before, he is due late in March.

Giles persisted: Your doctor has given you a date. What is it?

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I have not seen her in a long time. I think she calculated March 28. That was Lady's by now much more
cautious estimate. She was alarmed at the suspicion latent in Giles question. Anyway, Lady continued on
some other tact to get Giles off that sort of thinking,,,

Giles dropped the question because he thought it was alarming Lady. But it did not keep him from
mentally calculating that a birth on 28 March would probably mean conception on 14 July. And then he
was at a loss. He had not a clue when they made love in his room at the Goring. But it did recall to him
certain suspicions surrounding Lady's actions that whole evening.

It was these sorts of vindictive outbursts that were so easily associated with drunks. Running along these
lines they were becoming very harmful. Giles could see, due to the power of Lady's personality, that he
was being drawn into them; that he was not guiding her away from such harmful traps. After his
experience at the pub, he was beginning to diagnose the situation, but he was far from being able to
handle it.

Giles did not seem aware of it, but after he skirted so closely to the problem of Lady's impregnation, she
was urged to take a greater share of the responsibility in keeping their relationship on track and spend
less effort on trying to destroy Giles.

After Christmas things quieted down in the Jimpson household, and thanks to Lady's lowered intake of
alcohol, she was able to perpetuate this greater stability. These days of relative calm were marked by the
occasional message run up to the Colonel from Operations, and by two visits to Giles by a gentleman
wearing his trench coat.

[Sunday 08 March 1953]

In Gibraltar the end of Winter is marked by the end of the 'rainy season' – actually, it may better be
described as the onset of the unequivocal seasonal drought. Giles was expecting Lady's birth pains to
start in about three weeks. But on the Seventh of March Lady's water broke and they got a taxi to take
them up the hill to Saint Bernard Hospital. The next day Lady gave birth to a smallish boy, who even in
those earliest days, possessed startlingly blue eyes.

They were so obvious that there was no need to remark upon them. Certainly, Lady dissuaded such
conversations and Giles was unlikely to encourage them. But they were definitely an outstanding color.
One nurse, as she was examining the child, said without much forethought: Interesting; mom has black
eyes and dad has brown, but the child has bluer eyes than I have ever seen before. This did nothing to
relax tensions between the parents.

By a week later Mom had been taught how to nurse and Dad had been taught how to change diapers.
They were both given instructions in handling bottles, should nursing prove difficult. After that they were
instructed how to grind up certain fruits and vegetables to begin the child on more solid foods. Also they
were given a few typed sheets on diseases to look out for and ointments to use in case of a rash. After
that, the terrified parents were turned out on their own, and the poor boy was at their mercy.

While Lady was a small person, the baby was small too and perhaps that had something to do with the
ease of her birth. However, such reasoning seems suspicious. Nevertheless, Lady recuperated quickly
from the experience. No stitches were taken and no infections set in. The boy cried and pooped and slept.
They were blessed.

Lady was more careful than ever to forestall talk concerning the 'early birth'. It happens all the time.

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Doctors do not like to admit it, but their estimates of the gestation cycle are not all that scientific. Etc.
There were the stock answers, and they were needed a few times. But largely, Lady was successful and
steering clear of that subject.

She was not quiet, however, concerning the need for the boy's baptism. Giles was totally uninterested. He
did not know if he had ever been baptized. But Lady was insistent. So, they needed a name. She was
also firm on continuing the Jimpson family's tradition of the use of Darwin. Giles failed to participate in
these searches. To spur him into thinking, Lady said: Alright, I have decided upon, Sydney Darwin
Jimpson.

Giles did wake up: Oh, good Lord, we cannot have that. He started thinking and said that he had a
grandfather on his mother's side named Aulay. Lady said: Oiley?

Giles ignored her and kept thinking. The Gaelic name for Scotland is Alban. And Duncan means 'brown
warrior', and this child is certainly becoming browner by the day.

After a short silence, Giles said: I think one of my relatives was named, 'Gullian'. Then he grew silent.

Getting no more action, Lady decided to stir things up again: All right, let us name him, Gulley Darwin
Jimpson.

Silence.

Well, what do you think? She asked.

Fine with me.

Lady was surprised that Giles accepted this name, but she was unwilling to tempt fate further. They got in
contact with a Mr. Hale at the Church down the street and arranged to have him baptized the following
Saturday. Mr. Hale said he would expect Anglican godparents, especially since neither of the parents
possessed a certificate of baptism. The parents admitted that they knew no Anglicans, nor anyone else
for that matter. Mr. Hale asked why they came to him then? Lady said it was because she felt strongly that
the child should be baptized in a Trinitarian way. But if Mr. Hale were not willing, then they would have to
resort to the Romans.

[Saturday 22 March 1952]

That did it. Mr. Hale was not willing to be known as the Anglican who ran away potential converts
(especially to the Roman Catholics). So, on Saturday, 22 March, 1952, the scrawny little brown baby with
blue eyes became officially known as, Gulley Darwin Jimpson.

About this time Giles told Lady that he was going to have to start flying again or he would be sued for
reneging on his contract. She realized that she did not even know for whom he worked. He gave her the
name of an Eastern airways, and said he would have to leave next week for about a month. BOAC ran a
flying boat service out of Southampton that would take him to his assignment in Calcutta. On Monday he
flew out in a Short Empire. Lady did not go down to see him off, she was so mad at him for leaving her.

On the long flight, Giles realized that he was glad to be getting some distance from Lady. He was able to
return by the end of that Month for a week. Lady was less than enthusiastic when he came in. He rather
took over feeding and cleaning and walking of Gulley for the week he was there, while Lady mostly slept.
They did not establish rapport during the week. Giles preferred not to worry about her drinking because it

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was not obvious on his return.

Giles returned to Calcutta the following week, and it began to look like this routine would last for awhile.
Each time he returned home, Lady was becoming more sociable, and by the Fall, she seemed happy to
see him return. Giles did not really understand why she withheld her favors, nor did he understand why
she bestowed them then. In any case, she began drinking in front of him again, and felt that her
friendliness might be from that. He hoped it were nothing more sinister.

[Monday 08 March 1954] 1yr

Giles was home for Gulley's first birthday and Lady had fun baking him a cake. Judging by his reactions,
for Gulley it was a smashing success. He noticed that Lady still had no problems nursing Gulley, although
he was cutting teeth and she had to really work to keep her nipples from becoming a teething ring.

By the Summer, Lady was feeding Gulley more and more ground foods. Giles had brought her a grinding
food mill from Germany and she used it constantly. Occasionally, Lady carried the baby down to see Giles
off in the flying boat. They look interesting to her. She wondered what it was like, trying to land one of
those on water, as she watched its long long run to lift off with Giles aboard.

Lady had taken Gulley to the base Officers Club a few times and met a couple of single men and one
married couple. She had the marrieds over for a drink every now and then, but that put a strain on the
wife because Giles was never there with Lady. Lady rightly figured that the husband was getting flirty
because she seemed free, without her husband. There were women WAAFs about, but they and she had
very little in common.

[Mar 8 1955] 2yr

On Gulley's second birthday, Giles decided his legs were strong enough and took him walking. Giles
found that Gulley was stronger than he had realized. He ran all over the place, got into everything he
could, and seemed to never tire. Giles did. But he was becoming more aware of this sons personality.

In April Giles took Gulley up high on the Rock and he got to see the monkeys. Gulley had never been so
excited. He loved their antics and started chirping at them. Sometimes one would chirp back. If Giles had
allowed it, he told Lady, Gulley would have run off with the money troupe. Lady did not seem all that
impressed.

Giles realized that this was a rotten life for Lady, and began trying to find ways to expand their
relationship. He planned a train trip for them in Spain. Lady had not been to Spain, of course, during the
War, and he thought is should be fun. They went up to Madrid and then to Santiago de Compostella. Lady
liked the tuna singers, but Spanish food seemed bland. The real problem however, was that Gulley was a
real handful and seemed to take the fun out it. Also, Giles realized that the trip he had planned was far too
long to be done in the time they had. Lady was glad when they caught a flight back to Gibraltar.

On the trip, being that close to Lady for that many days, Giles found that Lady was drinking more than he
had realized. He could not tell it from her actions, necessarily, but he was fearful that it causing her to
become argumentative again.

That Winter Giles took off for a month and tried to establish better communication with Lady. She was
clearly drinking more, but he could hardly condemn that, considering how much she was drinking before
Gulley was born, and considering how dull was her life now compared to her previous life. Giles felt this
very much, because Lady had mentioned again how she had sacrificed to give Giles the baby.

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Before Giles was scheduled to return to the East, Lady told him that she was damn tired of doing nothing.
She wanted to go back to MI5. After all, she was only on leave.

Giles was not really against it, so he asked: How can you take care of Gulley if you go back to The
Company?

Lady exploded at that, much to Giles' surprise. He was trying to tell her that he had no objections, but
there was this one sticking point: Gulley. She failed to hear any of it as she was shouting her own
thoughts and pent up feelings at Giles. He soon realized that her depression was serious – that, and it
was clear that she had become a closet drinker. Still, her problem was real, if accentuated beyond
coherence.

Giles tried to get an extension on his present Winter leave, but the SIS had had enough They told him
that if he did not report for duty they would declare him derelict. Giles was not prepared for an irate attack
from that quarter, and almost exploded. However, he realized that none of his problems would be solved
that way – in fact, they would be certainly worsened.

Giles tried to explain all this to Lady, but she was beyond this sort of reasoning. She was fed up and
wanted out. Giles had to leave to catch his flying boat while she was screaming at him. He figured she
would immediately down a tumbler of Vodka.

As it turned out, Giles was able to finish his assignment earlier than anticipated and he let SIS know that
he was having problems at home and was returning there for the duration of this assignment period.

[Feb 2 1956]
Giles had decided to take Lady to London and had brought her a beautiful silk dress from Singapore. Very
expensive, even in Oriental terms. He also had a sail boat for Gulley's birthday. Giles landed in Gibraltar's
bay not long after noon, on February 2, and caught a taxi up to Lady's mews.

As he reached her door, he managed to balance his gifts in his left hand and opened the door in his right.
When he opened the door wide to get his luggage inside, he felt he has been struck by a 2X4.

Lady was sitting on the couch facing directly toward Giles, as she nursed Gulley. Before he had left she
had stopped the nursing. Her shirt was pulled open and had fallen off her shoulders, exposing both
breasts. To her left, sitting directly in front of Giles, was the short dark Arab whom Giles remembered quite
well from the Palm Room. Among the flood of images and ideas swamping his sanity at that second, was
the one certainty that it was this person who Lady was meeting when Giles caught sight of her that day at
the bar with Memet.

Giles had that curious smile on his face, as he set his bags down and tossed his gifts into an empty chair.
He did these normal things because he was so dumbfounded that he could not think. He could not make
his mind work because anger was filling his whole person -- anger that his whole destructive relationship
with Lady was exploding in slow motion before his eyes.

Giles was not even aware of his actions. What he did was to approach the terrified Egyptian with the blue
eyes exactly like Gulley's, and then stick out his had for shaking, saying, I am Giles, Lady's husband.

The Egyptian with so much terror across his face, was relieved to see Giles' gesture of friendship. He
stuck up his own hand to complete the clasp of greeting as he began to stand. Giles, still smiling, griped

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the Egyptian hand and lifted the short man abruptly to his feet. As Giles pulled the Egyptian head to the
correct height, he swung his left fist only a short distance into the Egyptian face. Two piston like jabs
slammed into that face so rapidly that it had not had time to even recoil from the first blow as the second
landed.

When Giles releases the hand, the poor Egyptian dropped to the floor, balled up, head upon his knees on
the floor, with both hands covering the blood rushing from the smushed pulp where his thin haughty
Egyptian nose had once been.

Giles could see nothing else. There was only the poor dark skinned deposed aristocrat balled up flowing
blood at his feet. As awareness slowly returned to the mind inside Giles' head, he wondered for a second
what had happened to the person on the floor. But he knew. The knowledge of it began filling his
conscious brain as the anger ebbed away.

HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS THING? Giles silently screams in his gut.

He had not looked at Lady this whole time, nor did he as he walked past her to the toilet. As surprised as
she had been at his reaction to the presence of Gulley's father, she was literally astounded when she
heard Giles retching into the toilet. Then she heard the water running in the sink, into something soft. After
having washed his face with the wet towel, Giles rinsed the towel again to get more water into it.

Without looking at Lady he went over to the Egyptian on the floor, lifted his head, and gently washed his
face. He then made a compress of the towel, applied both Egyptian hands to the compress, and lifted that
poor soul to his feet. He was still only half conscious and too confused to know what Giles was doing – or
to be even afraid of what it might be.

Giles lifted him to his feet, picked up his suit coat and then put his left arm across the back and under the
Egyptian's far side arm. Giles walked him down to the taxi rank at the Church. He handed the driver a 10
quid note (when two would get you around the Rock twice) and told him to take the Egyptian to the
Infirmary at the RAF Base.

Giles walked very slowly back up the mews, head down, totally defeated. As he entered the apartment
again, he now did look at Lady, who throughout all this was still nursing the child – the child who is no
longer nursed. Lady saw no emotion, no meaning, no anything in Giles' eyes, but despair in his face. If he
could focus, Giles would have seen the opposite in the blazing black eyes before him. She hated Giles for
being so weak.

Lady almost growled at him: YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.

Giles thought she referred to his breaking up of her tryst with Gulley's father. But no, that was not it.

Lady was crying out to Giles, for him to accept her delusion of Gulley as restitution for her earlier
selfishness – the awful sin of choosing her career over the life of her first child.

But her exile from reality echoed her distance from her family. She had formed a delusion so deep that no
one could have told her: Giles had already accepted Gulley to be reared as his own. Her estrangements
were by now so thick and tangled that she was unable to contact any reality through that weave -- save
whatever is found in the bottle.
..........

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Giles too had lost so much. His very being now seemed composed of the shell which had surrounded his
massive love for Lady -- by which, being neither able to understand nor avoid, he had been consumed.
Nearly as he could fathom, that love had now been incinerated. He was left with the outer shell of his
rather pointless existence.

Still, Giles had good intentions. He truly felt sorry for the life which poor little Gulley faced. The following
year, near the time that other children would have been having a fourth year birthday party, Giles returned
to Gibraltar to try to find Gulley.

He dreaded facing Lady, and was glad when he found that neither she nor Gulley were at her apartment.
The fresh litter of newspapers and bottles on the floor showed that the place was still inhabited. He
walked on up the streets leading to the forests below the Rock, where the monkeys hang out. He found
Gulley sitting beside the road eating the remains of a sandwich tossed away by a thoughtless tourist. He
was wearing only a filthy shirt.

Gulley looked up at him but kept on licking the bits from the wrapper of the sandwich. Giles squatted
down beside him while Gulley nibbled and sniffed at mayonnaise smears. Giles asked: Are you hungry?

Gulley looked over the wrapping into Giles' eyes, but did not stop his tongue search. Giles held out his
hand and said: Come with me. We will go get you something to eat. Gulley showed his understanding, in
spite his feral appearance. He stood up, put one hand in Giles but held on to the wrapper with the other,
just in case.

On the way down the hill Giles bought him a sandwich but they continued walking. At a small grocery
store, Giles bought bacon, eggs and milk. In a clothing store he found some shorts, sandals and a shirt.
He got two of everything, including some small military style T Shirts. They continued to Lady's apartment.
Thankfully, she was still absent. Giles put Gulley standing in the tub and turned the shower on. Giles had
to physically hold Gulley in place. Throwing away the nasty shirt Giles soaped Gulley down, being careful
not to get suds in his eyes. The amazing blue eyes followed every move, but now without protests. That
was good. Giles had been afraid he might leap out the door if he should let go.

Cleaned up and in new sandals and short pants with several pockets, Giles prepared them breakfast.
Gulley ate about half of everything Giles had bought. Giles then took Gulley and his present to find the
fountain at the Governor's Palace. He showed the child how to fly his new plane by making engine
sounds, how to land it, and then float it in the pond. Gulley seemed quite happy with the toy – and Giles
also felt that his attentions had not gone unappreciated. Giles began to feel that Gulley had a sweet
disposition. That did not come from the father, he pondered. He wondered if Lady had been so sweetly
dispositioned as a child? No, he felt not.

Giles had decided to hang around until Lady returned, to speak to her about the child. On the way back to
the apartment Giles bought Gulley a soft drink. It seemed Gulley did not like the coldness of it. He
decided that the excessive sugar in it was not good either for Gulley – but heaven only knew what sort of
crap he had been eating from the streets.

By the time they got back to the apartment Lady was there. She did not seem particularly surprised to see
Giles, but more importantly, she was civil. Giles could not tell if she were tight. However, he figured she
was probably never quite sober.

Without too many preliminaries – there was little in the air between them to encourage many pleasantries
– Giles asked what she planned on doing with Gulley? She stared blankly at Giles.

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In what way? She asked. It was clear that she had not given the notion of Gulley's rearing much attention.

Lady, he needs training. Let me put him into a boys school. And...

Before he could say more, Lady exploded: Who the hell are you to come here and tell me what to do?
You ran off. You left both of us. It is none of your affair.

Giles imagined that it had been quite some time since such a fire in her eyes had been lit. For a moment it
gave a bit of life to her tired and unhappy face. It had become a most unpleasant face. Giles was truly
happy that none of his passion for her returned as they faced each other. But then how could it? She was
turning into a most hateful person.

The whole thing there – surrounding herself and Gulley -- filled Giles with a sorrow almost as deep as the
one attending the loss of her love. All right, then, Giles said in an even voice. What may I do to help?

GET OUT! That's what you are good at. RUNNING OFF!

Listen to me, Lady. You cannot go on this way. The child needs attention. Right now he has no family
beyond the monkeys he plays with. You need help. Let me be of some help at least in taking the rearing
of Gulley off your back.

YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A BAD MOTHER? WHAT SORT OF FATHER HAVE YOU BEEN? She was
screaming so loudly that Gulley had scooted behind Giles for protection. Lady saw that, and realized why
he moved away from her. She quited down.

Not that its any of your business, she told Giles in a calmer tone. But I am making plans for putting Gulley
in a day school. I have plenty of money and I need nothing from you. You have ruined my life, and I will
thank you only for your leaving.

Giles, still standing, took out a cigar and bit off its tip. This terrible deterioration of the body housing the
woman he had loved with such passion, was too much to bear. That part of it was even worse than he
had been imaging.

Giles looked at her eyes with such sadness, had she any surviving human feelings she would have
softened. Instead, what she showed was the meanness left from so much alcohol. Giles sighed. He
looked down at Gulley. Sorry, ole boy. he said, and kissed Gulley on top of his clean head.

Giles left her as he had on so many occasions: In despair. He heard her shout, And do not come back! As
he walked away he imagined that inside, she was really crying: Come take care of me. That is all I ever
wanted of you.

And he may have been correct in thinking that. But without the huge love he once had for her, without that
passion to lift him over so many rough spots, he knew he could not now break through her resistance.
Then it came to him that this had been the game all along. Respecting another person had nothing do
with it. She had to be conquered. It was that primitive. She had been saying all along: If you would have
me, you will have to conquer me.

There lies the rub. She had had such a strength, such an internal power, that no one was able to
overpower her. Maybe even now, the person who could conquer her might save her? Giles did not realize

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it, but he was probably referring to someone who possessed god-like powers.

In any event, he knew he could not do it. And that knowledge was terribly depressing – if not fatally
destructive. This was the weakness Lady could not stand. So, you could say that she was suffering her
own destruction because Giles (or anyone) had not the strength to save her.

[Spring of 1957] :: Gulley is turning 4

o o o

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