SECTION FIVE

Develop Positive Classroom Relationships

lmost all school districts seem to deal with similar problems, such as low student achievement, overcrowded classes, and expensive school repairs. As unpleasant as these problems can be, very few teachers leave the profession because of them. Instead, you are far more likely to be affected by the stress caused by the fallout from poor classroom relationships than by any other problem. Although classroom relationships are complex in nature, they can easily be grouped into two different types: the relationships that you have with your students, and the relationships that exist among your students. In this section, you will first be able to learn some basic strategies to help you establish positive relationships with your students. You will then learn how to help your students learn to relate well to each other.

Develop a Positive Relationship with Students

Many factors can negatively affect this relationship, but only you can make sure it is a viable one. As the adult in the classroom, you are in charge of ensuring that you have a positive relationship with every student. You will have to be the one who builds the bridge, who reaches out to your students, who inspires them to do their best. A successful relationship with your students will be just like the other meaningful relationships in your life; it will require patience, planning, work, and commitment.

FACILITATOR, GUIDE, COACH, LEARNING PARTNER

One of the most exciting shifts in educational philosophy in the twenty-first century involves a change in the role that teachers play in modern classrooms. With few exceptions, when you began your own schooling, most teachers were regarded as the sage on the stage who had all the knowledge and transmitted that knowledge to students. 139

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In todays classrooms, however, teachers play a very different rolethat of a guide on the side. Todays teachers are expected to help students learn by encouraging them to think for themselves, solve problems, determine meaning based on what they already know, and be much more self-directed than those students of the past who were expected to be passive receptors of knowledge. Being a teacher also involves making decisions about how you want your students to perceive you. Just as actors create characters when they are at work, youll need to develop a persona for yourself as a teacher. If you can create a strong impression as a professional educator, your school life will be much easier. You will realize that when your students criticize you, they really do not know you at all. They are only reacting to your professional selfa person who has to set limits and correct mistakes. When you begin thinking about the different ways you can create a strong image of yourself as a teacher and develop positive relationships with your students, if you first think of yourself as a facilitator, guide, coach, or learning partner, youll find that it is easer to plan how to relate well to your students. After all, you will no longer be expected to stand at the front of the room and lecture; instead, you will have the opportunity to interact with your students as they engage in meaningful activities that you have designed to help them learn.

WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR STUDENTS SHOULD BE

As a first-year teacher, you may struggle to determine the relationship you want to have with your students. How friendly should you be? What if your students dont like you? What if they wont listen to you? How strict is too strict? As a teacher, you are responsible for just about anything that can happen in a class. You will determine the relationship you have with each student as well as the relationship you have with the class as a whole. This is a daunting responsibility, but it is also empowering. If the type of relationship you have with your class is under your control, then you can make it a strong bond. This will take deliberate planning on your part. You can use Teacher Worksheet 5.1 to self-assess the appropriateness of the way you interact with your students. Inspiring teachers who have a positive relationship with their students have characteristics that you should develop as quickly as possible. Here are brief descriptions of a few of these characteristics:

You should show that you care about your students. Your students want you to

like them and to approve of them, even when they misbehave. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of this when you have so many demands on your time. It is crucial that your students feel that they are important to you and that you care about their welfare. Get to know them as people as well as pupils you have to instruct. Do not be afraid to let your students know you are interested in how they think and feel.

Develop Positive Classroom Relationships

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You should have a thorough knowledge of your subject matter. Knowing your

subject matter may not seem to have much to do with developing a successful relationship with your students, but it does. If you are not prepared for class, you will focus on what you do not know instead of on what your students need to know. The worst result of a faulty or inadequate knowledge of your subject matter is that your students will lose respect for you and no longer trust your judgment. Be prepared for class each day. You should take command of the class. If you do not assume a leadership role in your class, others will. Often there will be a continuing struggle as students try to dominate each other. Although you should not be overbearing, you should be in command of the class. You can and should allow your students as many options and as strong a voice in the class as possible, but never lose sight of your role as the classroom leader. Your students wont. You should act in a mature manner all of the time. This does not mean that you cannot have fun with your students; however, if having fun with your students means indulging in playful insults, then you are not acting in a mature Love every child. Your love may be the manner. Here are a few of the other only love some children get. Remember immature behaviors that will destroy that many if not most of the children you your relationship with your students: teach bring a lot of baggage to school that Being sarcastic was never even close to being a part of Losing your temper your world growing up and that you dont Being untruthful understand. Teach them anyway. Being unprepared for class Charlene Herrala, 31 years experience Ignoring students Playing favorites You should maintain a certain emotional distance from your students. Being a teacher is much more than being a friend to your students; they have peers for friends. You are a teacher and not a peer. The emotional distance you keep between yourself and your students will enable you to make choices based on what students need instead of what they want.

TEACHER WORKSHEET 5.1

How Appropriate Are Your Relationships with Students?

No one wants to be accused of misconduct, but all teachers are vulnerable to allegations of improper relationships with students. To avoid this and to become an effective teacher instead, let the characteristics in the lists that follow guide your interactions with students. As you read through the list of the characteristics of inappropriate relationships with students, place a check mark in the blank before any that you may be guilty of. Be sure to eliminate each of those behaviors as soon as possible. Next, move to the second list. Place a check mark in the blank before any that already apply to your relationships with students. If an action does not apply to you at the moment, try to incorporate it into your future relationships with students. In inappropriate relationships, the teacher 1. ________ Assumes a parental role 2. ________ Shares too much personal information 3. ________ Becomes hostile to certain students 4. ________ Connects with students inappropriately on social media 5. ________ Is alone with students 6. ________ Loses sight of the immaturity of a child 7. ________ Socializes with students 8. ________ Is popular for all the wrong reasons 9. ________ Allows students to invade personal space 10. ________ Tries to be the students friend In appropriate relationships, the teacher 1. ________ Serves as a friendly adult whose primary concern is a childs best interests 2. ________ Guides students as they learn to make good choices 3. ________ Protects students from harm 4. ________ Is familiar with students social, academic, and behavioral circumstances 5. ________ Helps students develop insights into the world around them 6. ________ Provides encouragement as students work to achieve goals 7. ________ Makes students aware of strengths and helps them correct weaknesses 8. ________ Is able to say no in a firm and pleasant way 9. ________ Treats students with respectful courtesy and expects to be treated likewise 10. ________ Empowers students by having high expectations for success

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From The First-Year Teachers Survival Guide, 3rd Edition, by Julia G. Thompson. Copyright 2013 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Reproduced by permission.