Wilson 1 Kelsey Wilson Mr.

Harrell English Composition 1 16 October 2013 Convoluted Identity Identity is who you are and what you believe, no matter what the conditions you are put under may be. It helps define your personality and how you behave. Kevin Roose, the author of The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinners Semester At Americas Holiest University, had his identity put to the test. Roose decided to attend Liberty University, a much stricter, evangelical college than the secular college he was used to. Here, Rooses identity is threatened on a daily basis, because the evangelical college is set out to change people exactly like him. Ultimately, Liberty University has many different staff members and students that are set out to change peoples identity to become one, and Roose must battle these challenges and find his own at the same time. When Roose decided to attend Liberty undercover, he agreed to be as honest as he could about his past. Roose writes, I wasnt eager to sneak around like a spy, and I didnt want the burden of juggling a double identity, so I decided to stick to my guns: regular old Kevin Roose from Oberlin, Ohio (11). He only was going to Liberty because of curiosity, which was completely true. In this sense, he was not any different. However, one white lie after another and Roose came across as maybe not an evangelical, but at least a Christian to his roommates and friends. This was one of the reasons it was so hard for him to admit to his friends that he was a different person than what they thought. On the outside, Roose had unknowingly changed his identity for the time he was at Liberty.

Wilson 2 On the inside, Roose had no intentions of letting such a thing happen. He did not want religion to change his identity. One of the major things Roose tried to do to make sure both his secular life and his temporary evangelical life stayed seperate was mental compartmentalizing. A friend emailed Roose about an article with an author named Marcus Ross. This author is a scientist who explains about mental compartmentalizing, and how he constantly uses it because his Christian beliefs interfere with his scientist job. Roose writes, I still dont know how Ross does it, but I have realized this: the mental compartmentalizing he talks about is a real thing. Over the past two weeks, Ive felt it happening in my own life. I still feel very connected to m y secular self [but] the Christian slice of my brain is more apt to give these things a fair shake (79). Without this state of mind, Roose would be unable to let his secular ideas co-exist with the Christian ideas thrown at him. He would not be able to listen or learn anything at Liberty without this skill because he would disregard all of it for it is very polar to his Quaker views. This skill seems to keep his identity safe from changing. He does a good job with mental compartmentalizing until an idea that Susan Harding came up with crossed his mind. Susan Harding is an anthropologist Roose has read about and refers to ideas throughout the book, usually for realizations. Roose composes: Harding says that most people think of religious conversion as a one-step process, its really two steps. First you pass into what she calls the membrane of belief. That happens when you absorb the language and mannerisms of a religious community and begin to frame your thoughts and actions the way the community does. After that, you pass out of the membrane of unbelief. You decide to abandon your skepticism make the communitys creed your own, becoming a true believer. The second step is a

Wilson 3 conscious choice, says Harding, but the first step often happens without your knowledgeor permission. (233) After this, Roose is scared that he may be closer to converting than he may have thought before. One of the reasons for this realization, may be from the fact that he is at a school of higher learning. The benefits here, such as the structure the strict rules make Roose obtain, make Roose happier. The happiness that this other life brings could be correlated to his thoughts about converting. For example, if something improves your happiness, you are much more likely to keep doing it than if it makes you unhappy. His identity could be at stake if he were to give in to this happiness and change his ways completely. Roose writes, Maybe its the exercise endorphins at work, but my mood has improved tenfold from this time last week (142). Roose goes on that because hes been so busy, he hasnt had any downtime which means no time to mope or get into trouble. This was a much different experience already from what he was used to at Brown University. He has been hanging out with Jersey Joey and that has showed him that Liberty isnt all about being the church kid, that is is okay to be a little different. Lastly in this section, Roose addresses, Finally, Im starting to appreciate the rigid behavioral structure of Bible Boot Camp (143). He is now understanding how easy it is to be absorbed into the Christian lifestyle; how when you are constantly battling sin the feeling of restraint can be more than triumphant. Another example is after going to the Prayer Chapel with Zipper, Roose composes, The first time we did this, I was basically just humoring Zipper But the more we go, the more Im beginning to understand what Zipper sees in it. I like the idea of being prayed for (205). The change in his mind thought is evident, there is a change from feeling nothing to a sort of love and

Wilson 4 empathy for it. His identity looks as if it is changing at this point, because religion is a major belief and beliefs are a major part of ones identity. However, Roose has his own realizations about his old, Quaker, secular life too. Roose started attending Thomas Road to sing in the choir every Sunday at Liberty. When he first started attending this colossal church, he liked being on national television and being in such a novel place. But after two months there Roose writes, I think Id appreciate the minimalist Quaker worship more now than I did as a kid. It didnt have Jumbotron screens or a five thousand-watt sound system or a cafe in the lobby, and it wasnt run by a world-famous televangelist with millions of followers. But at least it felt real (199). From this point on, Roose realized that he can never give up what he used to be. He will always be a Quaker, even if he prays and is accompanied by evangelicals. Roose sums this up well when he writes, Liberty students struggle with lust. Secular Quakers who enjoy prayer. Evangelical Feminists who come to Bible Boot Camp out of academic interest. I used to think that my two worlds were miles apart. But tonight, the distance seems more like a hundred thousand miles (213). Roose also realizes that everyone is different in their own ways, even if Liberty wants them to be only one type of person. The staff there seems to portray that Knowledge can become dangerous, because it can lead to things other than what Liberty wants them to be. His Evangelical 101 professor represents this well. Roose writes, I just want to say this, Liberty students. My biggest worry about you, about all of you, is that youll become educated beyond your obedience (248). Tryin g to mold people to become one person is not what ones identity should come to. Roose sways back and forth sometimes, stating one side of his secular belief, then the other open minded belief. He does this a lot to get his point across without influencing the reader too much, so the reader can see both sides. Roose does a very good job of this, and you can even

Wilson 5 tell where he stands with every situation. However, toward the end of the book, he starts clearly stating what he believes and what he learned from Liberty not hiding any biases. From beginning to end, Roose starts with curiosity, falls into what seems like belief of Christianity, and then goes through a realization that he will always believe in what he always has. Roose writes, Having met Liberty students who use their faith to improve their lives of the people around them, I can say with relative certainty that although I dont always believe in God, I believe in belief (284). Roose steps away from Liberties attempts to mold his identity into the same as every other Liberty student. Roose specifically stated that he does not believe in what everyone else believes in, he has found something that he does believe in. Then, Roose composes: The indelible Jesus fish [bumper sticker] provided me with the world's easiest metaphor to describe my transition from Liberty back to the secular world. Namely, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite scrape it away. Even when I was back at Brown full-time, caught up once again in the flood of papers and seminars and parties on the weekend, something about Liberty kept nagging at me. I kept having flashbacks of my time there my Sundays in the Thomas Road choir loft, my History of Life class, my prayer chapel session with Zipper - and each memory was followed by a rush of guilt. (310) He went on to say that he kept up some habits picked up from Liberty, but he ended up dropped almost all of them after settling back into the secular life. Even though he may not have gave into Libertys goal, it was still a great learning experience. This quote was a great metaphor that enforces this idea because he learned so much, he couldnt forget his friends from Liberty. It may not have been an ending most people were expecting, but Roose did exactly what he went to do. And in that, Roose ended up meeting some people he would never forget. He found out Liberty is not a bad school that everyone makes it out to be, but they all do have the

Wilson 6 same goal; to make everyones identity the same so that they are dedicated followers of God. Roose may not have converted from his Quaker beliefs or changed his identity fully like they wanted, but he will have forever added onto it with his lifelong experience at Liberty University.

Wilson 7 Works Cited Roose, Kevin. The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinners Semester at Americas Holiest University. New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2009. Print.