Personal Essay_MHA_Lorenzo|1

Name: Jaycee Angeline C. Lorenzo "tu#ent Num$er: 201 %1&'0 )a,er 1 )ersonal Narrati-e .ssay )ro/. Miren Morales

Comm1 Degree:

MHA

Date: August 22, 201 ! (" )*ysical +*era,y!!!!!!!!

Last Day of Summer 0 1as a )rotestant since $irt* until t*e #ay 0 starte# to e2,lore ne1 c*oices. C*oices t*at seeme# unattaina$le at /irst, $ut e-entually, ,ro-e# me 1rong. 3ell to start my memoir, 0 1o4e u, 5ust li4e on any ot*er "un#ay, 1it* t*e 1a/t o/ $reeze carrying our neig*$or*oo#6s #istinct smell, an# t*e soun#s o/ early risers cleaning an# rummaging t*roug* t*eir t*ings, a1a4ening me /rom my slee,. An# as usual, 0 1as t*e /irst one 1*o 1as u,7 0 ru$$e# my eyes to see clearly an# sti/le# a ya1n. 0 at least *a# anot*er *al/ *our $e/ore someone else 1a4es u,. "ame ol#, same ol#, 5ust anot*er ,eace/ul "un#ay81*o 4ne1 t*at to#ay 1oul# $e t*e ,articular #ay 0 1oul# actually c*ange my -ie1 o/ t*e 1orl# as 0 4no1 it9 0 1ent out o/ $e# still #aze# an# a$scon# to t*e 4itc*en to /orage /or /oo#. 0 1as in t*e mi##le o/ #eci#ing $et1een :a4iso$a an# ,anca4es 1*en 0 *ear# t*e luci# /ootste,s o/ my mom *ea#ing #o1n t*e stairs. Hearing *er a,,roac*, s*e $ro4e o/ my concentration an# remin#e# me t*at 08in#ee#8,romise# to agree to atten# one yout* assem$ly o/ t*eir c*urc*. 0 grum$le# a slee,y yes an# ma#e a mental note to ,re,are /or t*e e-ent later. A/ter $rea4/ast, 0 ascen#e# to my room an# ransac4e# t*roug* my ca$inet to /in# a ,retty, yet a,,ro,riate out/it /or t*e e-ent later. +*e rest o/ #ay $reeze# $y li4e any ot*er, o/ us eating, t*e occasional small tal4s 1it*in t*e ta$le, an# t*e e2*austing 5o$ o/ trying8an# /ailing 8to ,ut t*e little ones to slee,. No1 *ea#ing $ac4 to my room, 0 /elt consume# an# slee,y. 0 /lo,,e# #o1n on my so/t in-iting $e# an# trie# to get some rest, $ut o/ course, not a/ter ma4ing sure t*at 0 *a# set my alarm /or later. A1a4ening to my annoyingly lou# ringtone, 0 note# t*at it 1as alrea#y /i-e in t*e a/ternoon, gi-ing me $arely an *our to get mysel/ rea#y. 0 *urrie# to my $e#si#e ta$le an# got my $at*room necessities, t*en ,rocee#e# s1i/tly to $at*e. "ecure# in t*e rela2ing atmos,*ere 0 al1ays stum$le# u,on 1*ene-er $at*ing, 0 let my t*oug*ts /lo1 /reely, consi#ering t*e ,ossi$le scenarios later at t*e assem$ly. +*ere 1ere #e/enitely a lot o/ 1*at%i/s, $ut only one 1ay to /in# out. 0 $ris4ly 1al4e# out o/ t*e $at* tu$, care/ully so not to sli,, an# /oun# mysel/ insi#e t*e com/ort o/ my room trying to 1ear t*e clot*es 0 *a-e c*osen earlier. )rim an# rea#y, 0 loo4e# at mysel/ in t*e mirror to c*ec4 i/ e-eryt*ing 1as set: #ainty tan4 to, tuc4e# un#er a /loral ,rinte# s4irt /lo1ing 5ust to my 4nees, a gol# $elt loo,e# o-er it, ,lus a green car#igan. An# a/ter securing my *air in a t1iste# $un, 0 1as rea#y to go.

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As 0 $egan #escen#ing t*e stairs, 0 caug*t sig*t o/ our #ining room set%u, in a 1ay t*at coul# only mean one t*ing: my relati-es 1ere coming /or #inner. 0 1as outrage#. 3*y #i# anyone not tell me a$out t*eir su,,ose# -isit9 0 1oul# not *a-e agree# to go to t*is stu,i# assem$ly, 0 1oul# rat*er *a-e s,ent time 1it* cousins 0 gre1 u, 1it* t*an 1it* mere strangers. (ut as i/ coming $ac4 to my senses, 0 su##enly remem$ere# t*at my relati-es 1ere 4no1n /or t*eir /re;uent unannounce# -isitations. Calling t*ree *ours $e/ore t*eir arri-al an# ma4ing our gran#mot*er *astily ,re,are /or t*e inten#e# /east #oes not e2actly gi-e t*em ,lus ,oints, $ut *ey, 0 1ill gla#ly ta4e any time t*ey coul# gi-e. At t*at ,oint 0 1oul# *a-e 1illingly staye# $e*in# an# 5ust let ate (elen, our *ouse 4ee,er t*at 1as alrea#y a ,art o/ our /amily, go on an# atten# t*e e-ent 1it*out me. "ummer 1as en#ing an# time 1it* my cousins 1ere ,recious no1 t*at it 1as limite#. :ou see, 1e all gre1 u, in one *ouse not until si2 years ago, 1*en t*e si$lings o/ my /at*er #eci#e# to mo-e to +aguig, lea-ing our gran#,arents an# us *ere in Ma4ati. +*ree years a/ter, my /at*er $egan 1atc*ing tele-ision s*o1s /rom Ang Dating Daan. He 1as in/luence# $y *is ,arents, $ut 1as /irst o/ t*e /amily to /ollo1 t*e teac*ing o/ t*e #octrines. He sto,,e# atten#ing our )rotestant c*urc*, as *e sai# t*at *e coul# not go $ac4 to t*e 1rong ,reac*ings anymore. +*at 1ent on /or almost a year, until my mot*er sa1 t*e lig*t o/ my /at*er6s religion an# sto,,e# atten#ing as 1ell. +oget*er, t*ey see4e# #i//erent Locals or (ranc*es o/ t*e C*urc* o/ <o#8t*e a//orementione# religion8near$y, atten#e# t*eir e2,ositions, 1ent to t*e 0n#octrination sessions, an# 1ere e-entually $a,tise#. +*at le/t us8t*eir c*il#ren8con/use# a$out our o1n $elie/s an# a ga, $et1een our /amily. +*ey encourage# us to atten# 1ors*i, ser-ices, $ut ma#e it clear t*ey 1ere not /orcing us to /ollo1 t*eir ,at*, /or eac* one o/ us is /ree to c*oose /or oursel-es. "o sometimes, 0 1oul# still atten# masses in our ol# c*urc* 5ust to meet an# catc* u, 1it* my cousins. Due to my ,arents6 recent con-ersion, going t*ere 1as ar#uous since tra-elling 1it*out t*eir accomo#ation 1as sur,risingly tiresome. Atten#ing $ecame *ar#er an# *ar#er until 0 5ust ga-e u, an# succum$e# to my ,arents6 *o,e: t*at 0 1oul# e-entually see t*e trut*. At /irst 0 only 1ent to t*eir "un#ay 1ors*i, ser-ices, $ut as time 1ent $y, 0 also $egan 5oining t*em in "atur#ay t*an4sgi-ing masses. 0 #i# 1*at 1oul# grati/y my ,arents, 0 sacri/ice# my time an# a#*ere# to t*e #ress co#e 1*ic* 1as mo#erate a,,arel8meaning any #emure s*irt an# s4irt8e-ery mass. As my atten#ance $ecame regular, 0 learne# t*ings ot*er religions #i# not #are teac*, an# soon, *onore# t*e institution an# its mem$ers. (ut t*eir testimony a$out my /ree 1ill still *ung, an# in t*is rationale, 0 ne-er ;uestione# my religious stan#ing. All o/ t*ese came $ac4 to me as 0 reminisce#. 0 in#ee# a#mire t*e religion, $ut somet*ing 1as lac4ing, ,er*a,s a /orce t*at 1ill gi-e me t*e ent*usiasm to 1illingly $e ,art o/ it. An# rig*t no1, t*at 4eenness is #e/initely missing. 0 ma#e u, my min#: 0 1oul# tell ate (elen to go on

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1it*out me. 0 stri#e# t*e remaining ste,s an# cras*e# #irectly into my mot*er. Hol#ing me at arms lengt*, s*e $eame# an# e2,resse# t*at s*e 1as gla# 0 /inally ga-e t*e :out* Assem$ly a c*ance. Her eyes 1ere /ille# 1it* 1armt* an# *o,e t*at 0 #i# not *a-e it in me to $rea4 *er con-iction. "o 0 too4 t*e ot*er o,tion, /eeling #e/eate#80 1ent to t*e assem$ly. Arri-ing at t*e c*urc* 5ust on time, seeing $usy ,eo,le coming to an# /ro, 0 1as $a//le# t*at t*e ,rogram *a# not starte# yet. =no1ing t*ese ,eo,le 1ere #e-ote# to <o#, 0 assume# t*ey *a# ,er/ect c*aracter an# logically, 1oul# strictly im,lement rules. (ut 0 1as 1rong, #e-oting yoursel/ to <o# #oes not ma4e you any less t*an a ,erson. +*ey still ma4e mista4es, t*e only #i//erence is t*ey acce,t t*eir /aults t*en as4 /or /orgi-eness to ma4e it rig*t. Noticing t*eir /la1s ga-e me t*e t*oug*t t*at to /ully $e a c*ristian, you nee# not $e im,ecca$le, $elie-ing an# stri-ing /or <o# is goo# enoug*. My ,ri-ate #ream to $e 1ort*y in His eyes seem to $e reac*a$le no1, a/ter all t*is time, gi-ing me a tiny surge o/ energy. Just realizing t*is, 0 starte# to ta4e u, a seat an# as i/ on cue, t*e $an# too4 u, t*e stage an# a,ologize# /or t*e long 1ait. Just t*en, a /amiliar man too4 t*at moment to emerge an# sing Ang Huling .l (im$o $y )aro4ya ni .#gar. +*e s,ea4ers lig*te# u, an# t*e room /ille# 1it* a soul/ul -oice narrating an# inclu#ing us in a tragic story, lea#ing most o/ t*e au#ience to tears. Memories an# sa#ness o/ t*e song 1as so tangi$le 0 coul# almost taste it in t*e air, or /eel li4e it 1as lea#ing me closer to t*e circle. +*e circle 0 once ,ercie-e# as im,enetra$le, seems to $e o,ening u,, encouraging me to ta4e t*e little ste, to /ormally $e a ,art o/ it. As 0 inc*e# a little closer, 5ust a little closer, t*e s,ell 1as su##enly $ro4en as t*e $an# c*ange# t*e song into a c*eery one. +*is time it 1as a$out a man 1*o got more loyal an# untouc*a$le as #i//erent c*allenges came along. +*e u,$eat tem,o seeme# to *a-e sync*ronize# 1it* my *eart, an# soon, 0 1as longing to $e t*e man t*e song 1as tal4ing a$out. +o *a-e t*e -ast amount o/ /ait* to /ace anyt*ing, /or t*e sa4e o/ <o#6s name7 to remain untouc*a$le to ot*er6s scarring o,inions7 an# to $e /ree o/ t*e ,uissance 1it**ol#ing me /rom o,enly ser-ing <o#. As eac* o/ t*e songs came to ,ass, #i//erent singers 1it* #i//erent messages, eac* one o/ t*em touc*e# a ,art o/ my *eart longing /or so long to soar an# e2,lore t*e greatness o/ t*e s4y. Ma4ing me /eel an emotion long ago /orgotten: *o,e. Most ,eo,le /elt t*e urge to stan# u, #uring t*e ,er/ormance, an# $y t*e en# o/ it, 1e 1ere /ille# 1it* tra,,e# energy 1aiting to $e release#. Con-eniently a/ter t*e 5amming, games 1ere con#ucte# 1*erein t*e au#ience 1ere #i-i#e# into t1o. All t*e games re;uire# immense grou, coo,eration, 1*ic* 0 1oul# say 1or4e# /or my $ene/it, *el,ing me gain ne1 /rien#s an# easily s,rea# t*e s,irit o/ com,etition. +*e /irst one 1as calle# )inoy Henyo 1it* a t1ist, t*e t1ist $eing t*e 1or#s limite# to t*at /oun# on t*e $i$le only. 0 1as 5ust starting to get t*e *ang o/ t*e game 1*en anot*er one

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starte#. (y t*is time, 1it*out crossing t*e a141ar# con-ersation, 0 *a-e ac;uire# /rien#s alrea#y, an# /inally /elt t*at 0 *a# a ,lace in *ere. Han# in *an#, 1e /ace# t*e ne2t c*allenge mas4e# as t*e ne2t game. +*e o$5ecti-e 1as to carry a ,ail /ull o/ 1ater8tie# intricately 1it* ro,es o/ com,le2 loo4ing ,ositions8to t*e ot*er si#e o/ t*e room 1it*out s,illing muc*. 0t seeme# sim,le in t*eory, $ut 1as really *ar# to #o in a,,lication. 0n t*e en#, our grou, lost /or reasons 0 coul# not com,re*en#, $ut in reality, 0 came as t*e $iggest 1inner o/ all t*at #ay. 0 attaine# ,assion, em,at*y, 1is#om, my /ait* an# t*e sense o/ $elonging $ac4. 0 learne# t*e *ar# 1ay t*at games are c*allenges in li/e t*at #i//er /rom one ,erson to anot*er, #e,en#ing on *o1 t*ey ta4e it. All t*is time, my sorro1s 1ere 5ust games 0 ne-er ma#e an e//ort to ,artici,ate in. Just li4e li/e, t*e rig*t amount o/ seriousness may lea# to success, 1*ile too muc* o/ it lea#s to stri,,ing a1ay t*e su,,ose# /un in one6s 5ourney. Many c*oices *a-e come an# gone 1it* time $ut one t*ing 0 learne# is t*at it is ne-er too late to #eci#e /ig*ting $ac4. 3it* ne1 courage an# a /rien# to accom,any me, 0 stro#e to t*e ta$le o/ $usy ,eo,le eating an# too4 in t*e scene. A/ter t*e ,rogramme, as a cele$ration, t*ey ,re,are# t*e ta$le an# s,rea# $anana lea-es to ser-e as ,lates an# a,,arently, agree# to use *an#s as utensils /or easy clean%u,. Loo4ing at t*e 5oyous cluster o/ #i-erse yet contente# ,eo,le, *earing t*eir $uoyant laug*ter an# glee/ul con-ersations 1*ile $reat*ing t*e enticing aroma o/ #elicious /oo#, 0 4ne1 t*en an# t*ere, t*at t*ese ,eo,le 1oul# soon $e /amily to me. Ha,,y t*ougt*s in my *ea#, 0 gla#ly 5oine# t*eir /east 4no1ing t*at in our *ouse, anot*er /east 1as going on. (ut unli4e earlier, 0 1ante# to $e *ere $ecause 0 c*ose it to $e, not $ecause 0 1as coerce#. 0t seems eac* mem$er 1elcome# me not only to t*e /esti-ity, $ut also to t*eir *earts. Many ,ictures 1ere ta4en t*at #ay, t*at i/ 0 1ere to s*o1 you, 1oul# con-ey t*e *a,,iness ra#iating t*roug* me. <one 1as my sel/is*ness, anger an# atrocity, in ,lace 1as a recogniza$le yet #etermine# stranger. 0 too4 in t*e /amiliarity o/ t*e room an# 1on#ere# *o1 0 *a-e ne-er notice# t*e com/orting aura it enunciate# $e/ore. +*e con/i#ant 1alls *a# me unconsciously assert t*at t*is #ay 1oul# un#enia$ly $e my last care/ree summer #ay, my last #ay as t*e ol# Jaycee. >or 0 1oul# ,assionately $e #e#icate# to 1al4ing t*ysel/ 1it* my <o# in t*e ne2t #ays to come.