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Dear Marilyn,
My girlfriend and I have been going out for about nine weeks now and I'm beginning
to feel it's time to take our relationship to the next level...you know the one I'm talking
about. I'm wondering if you think it's too soon for me to ask Chandra if she's ready to
truly show her love and drink copiously of my blood. It's been so long since I've been
drained that I feel like I could burst, man! I can't even turn on the t.v. without seeing
some transfusion or bloody trauma on some bad medical drama and practically breaking
into tears with frustration.. She's sort of conservative when it comes to dating...she only
chained my Prince Albert to her clit ring after we had been seeing each other nearly a
whole month! Then it took another week before she would sear my nipples with an iron.
She also said she's "not ready yet" to let my pet boa constrictor have "sharing rights" on
her sweet honeypot. (Talk about fucking Little House on the Prairie!) So what do you
think, Marilyn--is it time to open a vein or am I hoping in vain on a "slit-tease" here?
Razorless in Rancoma
Dear Razorless,
Love in Satan,
Marilyn
Dear Marilyn,
Creepless in Seattle
Dear Creepless,
Yours in Satan,
Marilyn
Dear Marilyn,
Marilyn