10 Myths About Introverts

I wrote this list in late-2008. Around that time, I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti aney, !sy"#" It felt like someone had written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. ot only had it e!plained many of my eccentricities, it helped me to redefine my entire life in a new and productive conte!t. "ure, anyone who knows me would say, #$uh% &hy did it take you so long to reali'e you(re an Introvert)* It(s not that simple. +he problem is that labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It(s more comple! than that. A section of ,aney(s book -page ./ through page .01 maps out the human brain and e!plains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and 2!troverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to $opamine, so too much e!ternal stimulation overdoses and e!hausts them. 3onversely, 2!troverts can(t get enough $opamine, and they re4uire Adrenaline for their brains to create it. 2!troverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. +he messages of an 2!trovert(s nervous system mostly bypass the 5roca(s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place. 6nfortunately, according to the book, only about 207 of people are Introverts. +here are even fewer that are as e!treme as I am. +his leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn(t have very much e!perience with my people. -I love being able to say that.1 "o here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts -not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life e!perience18 Myth $1 % Introverts don&t li'e to tal'" +his is not true. Introverts 9ust don(t talk unless they have something to say. +hey hate small talk. :et an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won(t shut up for days. Myth $( % Introverts are shy" "hyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. &hat they need is a reason to interact. +hey don(t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, 9ust start talking. $on(t worry about being polite.

Myth $) % Introverts are rude" Introverts often don(t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. +hey want everyone to 9ust be real and honest. 6nfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find e!hausting. Myth $* % Introverts don&t li'e +eo+le" ;n the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. +hey can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. ;nce you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you(re in. Myth $, % Introverts don&t li'e to go out in +ubli-" onsense. Introverts 9ust don(t like to go out in public <;= A" ,; :. +hey also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. +hey take in data and e!periences very 4uickly, and as a result, don(t need to be there for long to #get it.* +hey(re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. Myth $. % Introverts always want to be alone" Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. +hey think a lot. +hey daydream. +hey like to have problems to work on, pu''les to solve. 5ut they can also get incredibly lonely if they don(t have anyone to share their discoveries with. +hey crave an authentic and sincere connection with ; 2 >2="; at a time. Myth $/ % Introverts are weird" Introverts are often individualists. +hey don(t follow the crowd. +hey(d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. +hey think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. +hey don(t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. Myth $0 % Introverts are aloo1 nerds" Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It(s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it(s 9ust that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them. Myth $2 % Introverts don&t 'now how to relax and have 1un" Introverts typically rela! at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline 9unkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. +heir brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called $opamine. Introverts and 2!troverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. ?ust look it up. Myth $10 % Introverts -an 1ix the3selves and be-o3e Extroverts" A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. +hat being said, there are still plenty of techni4ues an 2!trovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. -@es, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.1 Introverts cannot #fi! themselves* and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study -"ilverman, /A8B1 showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IC. #@ou cannot escape us, and to change us would lead to your demise.* D-- I made that up. IEm a screenwriter. It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an 2!trovert-$ominant &orld. ,ike other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. +he burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become Fnormal.F 2!troverts need to recogni'e and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves. ,et me know your thoughts. -3arl.