CHECKPOINT by Raymond Humphreys.

Edited and with exercises by Petru Iamandi

Editura Institutul European, Iai, 2006

LITERARY FOCUS: Plot ayswater, !aturday "i#ht

How much longer will you be in observation mode would you say Dveng? Im not trying to hurry you, but weve got a lot of work to do. I may as well move out of it soon, Jira. Im not making much rogress, thats for sure. !hats the roblem? "nything ma#or that didnt show u on the survey? I su ose that we did rush it a bit. $o, its not that. Its #ust that the communication roblem is going to be worse than we thought. Do you know that these eo le use verbals for "%% their contacts? &heres no sign of any direct communication at all? $ot so far as I can detect u till now. Its what the survey suggested, but its hard to believe. 'ood thing I ractised my verbals. Im going to find somewhere (uiet to switch modes now. )tay in touch * I might be needing some advice with this one+ * You wont tell anyone, Shelagh, will you? You gave me your oath, dont forget. Miriam, surely you trust me after all that weve been through together? Its just that youre as ing me for advi!e and, well, what !an I say? You now what you ought to do without as ing me. Miriam used unne!essary for!e to grind her !igarette into the "avement with her smart bla! shoe. It was as if she was trying to obliterate it altogether. #lready she was wondering if she had done the right thing in telling Shelagh. $er normally "ale fa!e too on a slight flush as she loo ed u" to meet her !om"anions !hallenging ga%e.

&ell, a girls got to ma e a living, hasnt she? Shelagh was given no o""ortunity to re"ly. She stood ga%ing thoughtfully at the figure re!eding through the !rowds. 'oor Miriam. # friend was a friend, yes. (ut this was something else. It was a fine thing to try to burden somebody with. Should she tell )ommy? )here was no telling how a man li e him would rea!t. &ith a bro en bottle, most li ely. It would almost have been better if she hadnt said anything to anyone. #fter all* * Is everything ,-, Dveng? .es, Im fine a art from having to wear these clothes. &hey feel such an encumbrance. /ust be a bit of a nuisance when it comes to se0, as well. .ou think of nothing else. Dont forget that this society has some retty strange ideas about that. /onogamy and re ression are the way of things down there. )u osed to be, anyway, though it doesnt seem that they manage to live u to it. !here are you now? Im #ust coming into one of these highly o ulated areas that they seem so fond of. .ou should see what its like, so many of them together. "nd the smell+ "ll art of the #ob, Dveng. "re you going to try to communicate now? * +veng !ut a noble figure as he strode "ur"osefully through the Saturday evening throng. $e had modelled himself !arefully on a !hara!ter in one of the audio,visual entertainments that he had sam"led, mu!h to -iras amusement. (ut being a member of a forward re!onnaissan!e team !ould be a very serious business. .n one "lanet he had only "ulled -ira out a s"lit,se!ond before one of the natives had lunged in his dire!tion with a !eremonial dagger. )hat "lanet had immediately been the subje!t of a deletion re/uisition. (y now it would have been as if it had never e0isted. )his "la!e didnt seem to be es"e!ially dangerous, but you !ould never be /uite sure. -ira was a good "artner, though. +veng new that, throughout the time he was on this new "lanet, -ira would never let his hand stray too far from the emergen!y trans"ort button. .ne s!out on the shi" and one on the "lanets surfa!e was a stri!t rule of the 1m"ire, and it was a good one. * "ny rogress, Dveng?

$ot really. &hese creatures are im enetrable. &hey may look a lot like us but Im really starting to believe that they function as almost entirely inde endent units. Im ossible. Its a reasonably advanced civilisation in some ways. &hey sim ly couldnt do it #ust on verbal communication. %ook for some other indicators. 1se your eyes * erha s for some reason were not rece tive to their articular mental energy. * +veng wal ed on, trying to remember some of the elementary observation te!hni/ues he had learned so long ago at training s!hool. (ayswater 2 had its full /uota of e!!entri!s, and the tall figure a!ting so oddly didnt stand out too mu!h at first. (ut before long his overt interest in the "eo"le around him had started to attra!t attention. Some of the males were giving him hostile glan!es. Most of the females seemed to be deliberately avoiding his een ga%e, though there were a few in whom he thought that there was a hint of a more familiar res"onse. * I think Im on to something at last. &hese eo le seem to rely to an e0traordinary degree on their facial e0 ressions and bodily movements. 2s ecially their eyes and a certain movement of their mouth. I think I could co y it well enough now if I tried. * )his ones not so bad, thought Miriam. 3oo s a bit "e!uliar with that !roo ed smile of his, though. $o"e hes not dangerous. 'retty hun y all the same. $e loo s the s"it of whatsisname on the films. * Im sure Im getting through to one of the females, Jira. )hes making one of those facial e0 ressions to me. $ow shes nodding her head and closing one of her eyes in the most eculiar way. .ou should see it. Im going over to her. Ill be out of contact for a while.
2

#n area of &est 3ondon. It is mi0ed in !hara!ter, with some e0"ensive "arts and some more shady areas.

* 3oo ing for a bit of fun, lover boy? Youre a ni!e loo ing blo e, do you now that? (etter than were used to around here. 4ood afternoon, Madam. +es"ite all the "ra!ti!e, the words !ame to +veng only with diffi!ulty. 5o!alising seemed /uite unnatural when it was divor!ed from musi! in this way. #re you a foreigner, then? 6ever mind, Ill loo after you. Ill show you a good time. Ive got a room of my own. # ni!e !lean one. .nly forty "ounds, or si0ty for a s"e!ial. 7an!y the idea? 'ounds? )hey were either something to do with weight or those strange e0!hange to ens that they used down here. (ut why was she see ing to transfer ownershi" , itself a diffi!ult enough !on!e"t , of this room to him? #nd what !ould this s"e!ial be? (etter "lay along with her for now, anyway. )hat sounds most interesting. You dont half tal funny. &here are you from? #lbania. )he womans violent fa!ial e0"ressions had all but made him forget the list of !ountries he had memorised during his "re"aration, and he was glad he thought of this one. 6ever mind, he !ould tell the truth later, when they were in "ro"er !ommuni!ation. #ll ban ear what? Ive never even heard of that. 3oo we !ant stand here tal ing on the street. &e dont want .ld (ill 8 to start nosing into our business. -ust follow me. +veng an0iously loo ed around at the surrounding "assers,by to see whi!h of them !ould be the male named (ill. $e !ouldnt identify him. In fa!t none of them seemed to be of an es"e!ially aged a""earan!e. $e then obediently followed her along the street, a little more !losely than she had intended. She didnt res"ond to any of the mental signals he was sending out, des"ite the !loseness of their "hysi!al "ro0imity. In fa!t, this seemed to !ause her some agitation, so he dro""ed ba! a "a!e or two and !ontented himself with studying her a""earan!e. She was more !olourfully dressed than most of the females he had seen here and !arried herself with more self,awareness. $er wal in "arti!ular was intriguing, !onsisting as it did of a series of e0aggerated !onvolutions. +veng found it "leasant to wat!h. It reminded him of nothing so mu!h as some of the eroti! grou" dan!ing at home. If anything it was more a""ealing* $e had noti!ed that she wore on her fa!e a great deal of the de!orative material that most of the females here used. +veng did not !are for that, but he saw that even the !lothes that she wore, a mi0ture of animal s ins and "lasti!s, !ould not disguise the
8

# slang term for the "oli!e.

s"lendour of her body. It was an altogether more volu"tuous version of those he was used to in the females at home. )heir wal had ta en them down some shabby, grey streets and through a door with "eeling "aint that had on!e been blue. 7inally they !limbed some !rea ing stairs and "assed through another door. )his must be the room of whi!h the woman had s"o en earlier, though it was nowhere near as !lean as she had suggested. $ave you got my little "resent then? 'resent? Si0ty "ounds, remember? #ll right, sin!e its you, anything you li e for fifty. +veng !ouldnt remember agreeing to any ind of transa!tion, but thought he should do his best to !onform to the so!ial rituals, even though he had no interest at all in a!/uiring this room. So!ieties at this level of develo"ment always atta!hed a great deal of im"ortan!e to that. $e thrust his hand into his "o! et and, "ulling out a sta! of to ens, !ounted out fifty of them. #ll for me? Miriams eyes seemed to start out of her head. )hey loo ni!e and new. I ho"e theyre real. +veng smiled his lo"sided smile. $e realised that now was not the time to tell her that -iras synthesiser had "rodu!ed them this morning. $e wat!hed as the woman e0amined the to ens with minute !are. She seemed satisfied and her fa!e !ontorted itself in an astounding way. &ould you li e to get undressed now? Ill just go into the other room to get myself ready for you. Ill give you something really s"e!ial. #re we going to have se0 then? +veng was a little sur"rised at this sudden turn of events. $e thought they were still dis!ussing the transfer of this room. It didnt fit in with his resear!hes into the so!ial rituals of this "lanet, whi!h were admittedly a lot more !ursory than they should have been. Still, he was /uite ready for this sort of "hysi!al !onta!t, es"e!ially remembering what he had seen earlier. )here were stri!t "rohibitions against "hysi!al !onta!ts with native s"e!ies of !ourse, but +veng didnt bother too mu!h with them. )his job didnt have many "er s. Miriams mouth dro""ed o"en, then she threw ba! her head and laughed out loud. Youre a !hara!ter9 I wont be long. $ave a loo at the maga%ines while youre waiting. Miriam li ed this one, des"ite his oddity. She was humming /uietly to herself as she left the room. She !ould even * yes, why shouldnt she do that for him? #fter all, he had just given her five hundred "ounds9 +veng /ui! ly and gratefully divested himself of the unfamiliar !lothes. -ira had done his best with the synthesiser but they still it!hed unbearably. $e "i! ed

u" one of the maga%ines and fli""ed through it !asually. )he maga%ine, an old one by the loo of things, mostly !onsisted of anatomi!al studies of not very good /uality. )he "ages were !rum"led and a""eared to have been through many hands before his own. Some of them were even stu! together. $e wondered what "ur"ose they !ould serve. (ut not for too long, for the woman returned. She was wearing a flimsy !ostume, obviously meant to be de!orative rather than fun!tional. #nd he had been right: she did have a remar able body. )he women of this "lanet were a little distorted and bloated, but in a most a""ealing way. $e was loo ing forward to this. It had been a long time sin!e he had shared ta!tile !ontent with any female* * Dveng+ .ou should have maintained better contact. .ou didnt answer any of my communications, and then all of a sudden you re(uest immediate trans ortation back to the shi . !hat ha ened? !ere you in any danger? $o, no danger. Its #ust that I realised that this lanet could never be suitable. !e may as well re(uisition its deletion. )o suddenly? .our initial re orts were full of romise. !ell, what was the roblem? !hat are we going to ut in the re ort? Dveng looked at Jira with tired eyes. He was a good artner but * Jira, we really need to go into direct contact before you can ro erly understand. 3 4oor Dveng. !hat an e0 erience. $ow Jira understood why he had made such an urgent re(uest to be trans orted back. He was right about this lanet. &he inhabitants all lived such isolated and lonely lives. &hey were inca able of ro er e0 ression of their thoughts and feelings. !hat a way to live+ 2ven during se0ual cou ling, like the one Dveng had #ust e0 erienced, there was no real communication. It was a corru t, urely hysical, act. Dveng had been u set by that more than anything. It had always meant so much to him. &hat was why he had always tried to ignore Dvengs occasional hysical forays among the native females, des ite the severest laws against it. It was nothing less than bestiality. 5ut they o erated a long way from home, and des ite this flaw Dveng was a great one to work with. He was (uite robably the best scout the 2m ire had. 4erha s he had been wrong to allow it. $ever mind, they were due for some home leave very shortly. He remembered that Dveng had told him that he was to transfer to a new, larger, social grou . He was es ecially

looking forward to being able to en#oy se0ual relations with all the women in his new community. &hat would do him a lot of good after this disturbing e0 erience. * # heavy fist "ounded against the door. Miriam. Its me. 3et me in , I want to tal to you. Miriam nervously o"ened the door. She new that this moment had to !ome, but she hadnt e0"e!ted it to !ome so /ui! ly I havent seen your "unter !ome out. Shelagh told me that you had one u" here and Ive been stu! downstairs li e an idiot waiting for him to !ome out. &hats going on? I , I dont now. &hat ind of answer is that? &hat do you mean, you dont now? )hats just it, )ommy. I really dont now. .ne minute he was here and , you now , and the ne0t I go for a glass of water and when I !ome ba! hes gone. #nd he just couldnt have gone out of the room without me nowing. #nd now you tell me that you were waiting downstairs. )he funny thing is, he left all his !lothes here. Miriam sensed the /ui! anger rising within her "rote!tor. $e loo ed around the room to see if there was someone to vent it on. )here were no hiding "la!es in the room. She edged away. She had tasted his tem"er before. #nd Im su""osed to believe that? +ont get mad, )ommy. $e "aid first. $e "aid well. 3oo . She handed over five hundred "ounds. $e must have made some mista e. I thin he was a foreigner. She wasnt going to tell him or anyone else about the two thousand she had found in her strange !ustomers "o! ets. )he way things were loo ing, she might be needing that. 5ery ni!e, he said with only momentary sur"rise. $e sli""ed the money into his "o! et as if he was used to getting su!h an amount every day. (ut Ive been tal ing to Shelagh about you, Miriam. Youve been ee"ing something from me, havent you? )ommy was !arefully "utting on his bla! leather gloves. She new what that meant. &hat a fool she had been to trust Shelagh. )ommy, "lease. Ive been good to you. It neednt be so bad , I !an still wor for you. #nyway, that do!tor only said that I tested $I5 "ositive. )hat doesnt mean Ive got it. It doesnt, does it )ommy?

!$%&' (%E!$I)"!

Recallin# 2. &hat were +veng and -ira members of? 8. &hat had +veng modelled himself on before landing in (ayswater? ;. &hy did he land in (ayswater? <. &hat did Miriam ta e him for? =. 3ist the things in +vengs !onversation with Miriam that he did not understand "ro"erly. >. &as +veng allowed to have "hysi!al !onta!ts with the natives? ?. &here did +vengs !lothes and money !ome from? @. &hat did the two s!outs thin of se0ual !ou"ling on 1arth? Interpretin# 2. Is the !ivilisation that +veng and -ira belong to su"erior to the one on 1arth? -ustify your answer. 8. &hy did +veng suggest they should re/uisition 1arths deletion? ;. &as he in any danger? Extendin# 2. $ow might the aliens have deleted 1arth? 8. Miriam is tra""ed in an e0treme set of !ir!umstan!es where ma0imum "ressure is being brought to bear u"on her. #re su!h !ir!umstan!es fair tests of a "ersons !hara!ter or moral strength? &hy? &hy not? *I$ER+R' ,)-%! Plot Plot is the se/uen!e of in!idents or events of whi!h a story is !om"osed. )he "lot of a good story usually "ro!eeds a!!ording to the following "attern:

# "lot often begins with exposition, in whi!h the author introdu!es the reader to the "eo"le, "la!es, and situations he will need to now in order to enjoy the story. )he narrati.e hoo/ is the "oint at whi!h the author !at!hes the readers attention. It is the beginning of the risin# action of the "lot. )he reader be!omes aware of the !hara!ters !hallenges and, from this "oint on, he is in sus"ense about what will ha""en ne0t. )he rising a!tion adds !om"li!ations to the !hallenges and in!reases the readers interest in the story. )he climax is the "oint of the readers highest interest and greatest emotional involvement in the story. It is the "oint in the story when the

reader nows for !ertain how the !hallenges are going to be dealt with. )he 0allin# action relates the events that are the result of the !lima0. )he resolution ends the falling a!tion of a story by telling or im"lying the final out!ome. (e!ause of the nature of a short story, the elements of a "lot are develo"ed /ui! lyA the time frame for the "lot is usually more !on!entrated Bfor e0am"le, a few minutes, a few hoursC rather than !overing a number of years. +raw a diagram to re"resent the "lot of 5ayswater, )aturday $ight. .n your diagram identify the events that are the e0"osition, the narrative hoo , the rising a!tion, the !lima0, the falling a!tion, and the resolution of the story. Plot -hallen#es !ur.i.al Bma ing a living, avoiding deathC and reproduction Bthe for!es of se0ual attra!tion, se0ual jealousy, and "arental affe!tionC are the basi! sour!es of !hallenges in fi!tion. #"art from that, s"e!ulative fi!tion "lots are often started by !onfronting the !hara!ters with the un/nown D obje!ts, beings, or situations whi!h they have "reviously !onsidered im"ossible. &hat isEare the !hallengeBsC in this story? *inear Plots )he sim"lest ind of "lot D the odyssey , is a journey bro en down into stages. In s"e!ulative fi!tion, the journey is usually re!onfigured as an e0"edition from home rather than an attem"t to returnA thus, it be!omes a /uest. )he world within the te0t has to be invented, and the more e0oti! that world is the more wor the writer has to do in !onstru!ting its geogra"hy, its history, and its e!ology. In order to ma e the reader understand this world, the author sends his !hara!ters forth on a journey that will !over a good deal of the geogra"hy, introdu!e them to various reli!s of the history, and allow them to observe intera!tions of lo!al "lants and animals. Plots and -ounter1plots .ne way to !om"li!ate an odyssey "lot is to s"lit it into two threads and alternate them. )he various grou"s adventures !an be told in alternating se!tions, allowing the te0t brea s Bwhere nothing mu!h ha""ensC to be filled with solid narrative. &hen the !lima0 arrives, the grou"s !an be reunited, "ooling all the dramati! tension they have se"arately a!!umulated. )he great advantage of this ind of "lot stru!ture is that it allows the author to in!rease narrative tension !onsiderably. # more s illful use of the plot2counter1plot "attern involves setting u" a "arallel "ro!ess within the two threads: the author interweaves stories that are set in different "eriods of history but involve some !ommon obje!t or theme. 2. &hat ind of "lot does 5ayswater, )aturday $ight have? 8. +oes it have unity? ;. #re all the e"isodes relevant to the total meaning of the story? <. +oes ea!h in!ident grow logi!ally out of the "re!eding in!ident and lead nautrally to the ne0t? =. Is the ending ha""y, unha""y, or indeterminate?

3)-+ %*+R' #n author always strives to !hoose words that e0"ress his ideas e0a!tly, precise words that !onvey the emotional suggestions he intends. &ords that are effe!tive in a formal !onte0t may be ina""ro"riate in an informal one. .n !ertain o!!asions, slang or non,standard or ar!hai! words !an have "ower, "ersuasive for!eA on other o!!asions, these words !an be wea , out of "la!e. Fegional di!tion that is desirable in a given geogra"hi!al area may be humorous or !onfusing elsewhere. )he !hoi!e of the right word will de"end on the authors "ur"ose, his "oint of view, and his reader. &ith the aid of your di!tionary, give the e0a!t meaning of ea!h itali!ised word in the senten!es below. 2. +o you now that these "eo"le use verbals for #33 their !onta!ts? 8. She stood ga%ing thoughtfully at the figure receding through the !rowds. ;. )hey feel su!h an encumbrance. <. 3oo s a bit "e!uliar with that crooked smile of his, though. =. )hey were either something to do with weight or those strange e0!hange tokens that they used down here. >. $er wal in "arti!ular was intriguing, !onsisting as it did of a series of e0aggerated convolutions. ?. $e wat!hed as the woman e0amined the to ens with minute !are. @. )his job didnt have many erks. G. )he women of this "lanet were a little distorted and bloated, but in a most a""ealing way. 2H. She edged away. 4R+55+R 6ill !an refer to "resent or future time. It is used to e0"ress: BaC a s"ontaneous a!tion, e.g. I know, Ill buy her a blouseA BbC a !ommand, e.g. .ou will do e0actly as I say A B!C a re/uest, e.g. !ill you ass the sugar, lease? BdC a "redi!tion, e.g. &omorrows weather will be windy and dryA BeC insisten!e, e.g. I will not give in+ BfC an intention, e.g. He wont stay longer than an hourA BgC future, e.g. I will be on vacation ne0t month A BhC willingness, e.g. !ho will lend me a cigarette? BiC an invitation, e.g. !ill you dance? BjC a refusal, e.g. I wont hone herA B C an offer, e.g. Ill carry your bagsA BlC a "romise, e.g. I wont tell anyone your little secret A BmC a threat, e.g. Ill hit you+ 10"lain what meaning lies behind the use of will in the following senten!es ta en from the story. 2. $ow mu!h longer will you be in observation mode would you say +veng? 8. You wont tell anyone, Shelagh, will you? ;. Ill be out of !onta!t for a while. <. Ill loo after you. =. Ill show you a good time. >. Ill give you something really s"e!ial. ?. I wont be long.

-)5P)!I$I)" 2. # literary so!iety is holding a !ontest to "i! the best short story of the year. &rite a statement to the jury telling why you thin 5ayswater, )aturday $ight should or should not be a !andidate for the award. In!lude an analysis of the "lot. 8. Imagine that an alien has just a""eared in your neighbourhood. +es!ribe what it would find in your home, using its eyes as your own. )ry to see things as if you had never seen them before.