The ONLY magazine 100% dedicated to love and da ng in the city

Surviving Christmas

When youre single

SNOG MARRY AVOID:

Miley, Gaga or Rihanna?

Lesbian Da ng

New rules for the 21st century

Apps: We review the latest must-haves

...UNDERCOVER DATER

We go da ng online, on the tube and with an old ame...

SnogMarry
JT Drake
@Cocogirllovesvanillamen: Snog Timberlake, marry Thicke The way he talks about Paula makes me think this man treats her like a queen, and avoid Drake.

We take a look at some of the ho est - and not so hot - music celebri es of 2013 and ask you that all important ques on of your fantasies... Who would you snog, marry or avoid? We took to Twi er to ask our loyal and trustee followers what ar st you would rather snog, marry and avoid and why. Here are some of your verdicts....

AVOID ...
@ShelbyAdwoa: Marry Jus n Hes got a sweet boy act about him. Snog Robs he seems like a womaniser and avoid Drake- hes too feminine.

METRO DATING
Welcome to the rst issue of METRO da ng. At METRO Da ng HQ, the excitement has been non-stop these past few months. Inspired by our parent newspaper, METRO, we bring you a magazine lled to the brim with da ng advice, ps and tricks to sa sfy your needs. We dont just cater to a specic audience - were here for you all. Whether youre male, female, old or young, this magazine is one that will hopefully bring a smile to your face - and help you along your da ng journey. Da ng doesnt stop at 30, its never ending un l you meet your loved one. We hope you enjoy this magazine and we look forward to seeing you next year. 3 Le er from the editor Our editor tells us her thoughts for the month 4 Inside mens minds We ask men how long they should wait ......before buying a Christmas gi 5 Inside womens minds And of course, we couldnt leave the ..... ......ladies out either 6 Interview with a sex therapist Rob Parker visited a sex therapist and got ......advice on many dierent issues 8 Where to go Struggling on date ideas? We pick this ......seasons best loca ons 10 Those who made it Many marriages now end in divorce. We ......spoke to successful couples 12 What to wear; girls Because nding something to wear on a ......date is stressful 13 What to wear; boys And we couldnt leave the boys out! ......Check out our guide 14 Undercover dater Our undercover dater goes on three ......dierent dates and reports back 16 The best da ng apps We test out the latest and greatest da ng ......apps 17 How to survive Christmas The Da ng Doctor, Peter Spalton, gives ......you his top ps 18 Da ng on TV Da ng is all around us! We have a look at ......a few new da ng TV shows 19 Your most embarrassing stories The tle speaks for itself. We love ......laughing at your misery 20 The truth about lesbian da ng We speak about the mystery surrounding ......lesbian da ng 22 Serial daters We interview an anonymous serial dater. ......Its a shocker! 23 Da ng dilemmas Our resident agony aunts answers your ......da ng dilemmas 24 The new da ng rules Many da ng rules are now well, ......outdated. We re-write them 25 Dealing with a break up Breaking up with someone is hard. We ......help you get over it 26 Snog, marry, avoid Miley Cyrus? Lady Gaga? Rihanna? Robin ......Thicke? Drake? Jus n Timberlake?

WHATS IN METRO DATING?

contents

Robin Thicke

WHOWROTEWHAT?
InsidemensmindsRobert Parker InsidewomensmindsSam Thomas Interview with a sex therapist Robert Parker Where to go Rianne Mitchell, Laura Wood Those who made it Sam Thomas, Laura Wood What to wear; girls Jemma Page What to wear; boys Rob Parker, Jemma Page Undercover dater Jemma Page The best da ng apps Jemma Page How to survive Christmas Laura Wood Da ng on TV Rianne Mitchell Embarrassing stories Sam Thomas The truth about lesbian da ng Sam Thomas Serial daters Robert Parker Da ng dilemmas Laura Wood Thenewda ngrulesJemma Page Dealing with a break up Rianne Mitchell Snog, marry, avoid Rianne Mitchell
Endeavour House, 189 Shaftesbury Avenue, London, WC2H 8JG inbox@metrodating.co.uk 020 7208 3165 METRO dating published monthly by METRO Ltd. METRO dating is a registered trademark of METRO Ltd. Nothing in this magazine may be reporduced in whole or in part without the written permission of the publisher. Subscribe to METRO dating by visiting metrodating.co.uk Alternatively send a cheque/PO (made payable to METRO) or credit card details to: Tower Publishing Services Ltd, Tower House, Lathkill Street, Sovereign Park, Market Harborough, Leicester LE16 9EF. Vistit metrodating.co.uk/subscriberservices.

Miley Cyrus Lady Gaga

@La Barry: Avoid Drake because hes bu ers, snog Jus n as hes hot but doesnt seem manly enough and marry Thicke because he seems like he can hold down a real woman, look at his wife Paula!

My li le cupcake man. You work in the cupcake stall across from Dorothy Perkins in Manchester. I want to lick your fros ng. Girl with teal snood. I just want to say a big, genuine, hear elt and sincere THANK YOU, on behalf of all mankind, to all the gorgeous ladies who dress so nely in this weather. Sunshine, condence and daring. You make daily life so much sweeter. And distrac ng. Thank you. Happy Man.

Thismonthsbest RUSHHOURCRUSHES

Follow us on Twi er @METRODa ng

Rihanna

@ThatGuyEarlyD: Avoid Lady Gaga, her fashion seems too much to handle and to be honest I wouldnt want to handle her. Marry Rihanna: Out of the three shes the best and we would probably have the most things in common as we are Caribbean. Snog Miley: She looks like shed be up for it.
METRO dating

@HP: Avoid Lady Gaga: She is way too weird for me. Marry Rihanna: who wouldnt want to marry the Bajan beauty and I would snog Miley: Shell probably twerk on me, which would be a plus.

@BirziK: Marry Miley: I think shes just misunderstood and she only acts wild for the media. Snog Rihanna: Because shes HOT , and denitely avoid Lady Gaga: Shes a bit crazy for me.

To the blonde girl who alighted from the second carriage of the Liverpool Street train at Stra ord at about 7:55am on December 12. You were wearing a black and white check coat and you have the most gorgeous eyes and a sexy, sexy nose. The man with silver spectacles. Tall, skinny guy: you look like a cross between Steve Tyler and Hugh Grant. Why so serious? Do you need someone to light up your life? The sunshine girl.

www.metrodating.co.uk

Page 26

To the older woman with the laptop on the Redhill to Brighton train. You drove me insane. Be mine? Younger Gent in Denim.

WHATS GOING ON How long a er the rst date would you

DEALING WITH...
I
to terms with a break-up can be a shock to the system but understanding your feelings can make things much easier. The split may be something you ins gated or the complete opposite, but accep ng what has happened is the rst hurdle. Now you need to confront yourself and your feelings. Experiencing emo ons is healthy, but not dealing with them can lead to depression and issues such as anxiety. Dont be scared to take control of the way youre feeling, it doesnt make you weak, instead it makes you courageous, strong and in the long run a more condent person as you have taken the steering wheel to your life. 2.Take a break: Make me for yourself, and get to know yourself as a single person again. This may be hard to accept but you are newly single and me that used to be spent with your ex on a date or simply spending me together is now free. Learn to be comfortable with your own company. 3.Its OK to grieve: Depending on the length of your rela onship, suddenly ending the me you see your ex or spend me with them its compared to losing a person. It is completely natural to grieve as this is a healthy feeling but do not let this break up deepen to depression as this is an unhealthy way to deal with it. 4.Get rid of memory triggers:This does not have to be permanent, but it will help to get over the hard part of a breakup. Remove pictures, clothes, CDs even their friendship on social networking sites if necessary. Again this does not have to be forever, but while you are grieving your past rela onship it may be easier to stop being reminded of their presence and focus on what really ma ers - YOU. METRO dating

1.Understand your feelings: Coming 5.Talk/write:

ts never easy when a signicant rela onship ends. Breakups can leave us feeling heartbroken and as if the world around us is crumbling down, triggering all sorts of painful and unse ling feelings and emo ons. Breakups tend to hurt because it is a loss. A loss of a person, promises, commitments and future plans, so when we lose things that were once posi ve, we experience grief. Read our 10 ways to help you deal with a break up. These steps will make you an ul mately stronger and wiser person to cope with a break up.
Even the most condent of people nd it dicult to talk about their feelings. But use this opportunity to lay all your problems on the table, tackle your feelings and talk to the Credit: image source/Rex people closest to you, a er all of single life. The people around youthat is what they are there for. new and old- should help you in a 6.Make plans for the future: posi ve way, building you up in condence, love and happiness. Realising that plans once made with Remember - one step at a me. your partner will not happen as a couple, why not s ll try to obtain these 9.Pick up new hobbies: Picking up a desires? It will preoccupy me and give new hobby can assist as a great me you a goal to achieve. Make new plans healer. Why not try and pick up a new a as its a chance for you to build a life that hobby such as kni ng, a musical you want. instrument or get back into an old 7.Make time for yourself: This is the spor ng passion? The choices are endless but its a great way to take your best me to put yourself rst and be mind o of your rela onship problems selsh. Ideally you will have everything and feelings while making new friends under control but more o en than not and picking up new skills. Hopefully a that isnt the case. Making me for hobby will enrich your life for the be er. yourself will enable you to reect on 10.Dont feel pressured: Once you your situa on, cri que yourself as a person and hopefully enable you to have started to implement these steps make a plan of ac on to be er yourself, and adapt them to your situa on, you now and for the future. may start to feel as if weight is being 8.Cultivate new friendships: Time li ed o your shoulders and a new version of the old you. This is good. Do once spent with your ex may now give not feel pressured to jump right back you free me to do your own thing. into a rela onship. This is a me that Ini ally you may feel like a lost puppy; you need to work on the new version of not knowing what to do with yourself. yourself so you can give the very best to But this is the perfect me to get to your future partner. However there is no know yourself again, cul vate new correct me to get back into da ng or a friendships and even re-ignite rela onship, this is subjec ve. The right friendships you neglected. This can take me is when you feel ready to make that your mind o the problem at hand and step leading to da ng. is a good way to get back into the swing Just keep in mind time heals all emotional wounds

a break up

My wife didn't receive a gi from me un l a month a er our rst date! If I was seeing someone today I'd give it two weeks. David, 45, Grimsby

Erm I don't know really. I think Id give it about 3 weeks which I think is pre y substan al for future dates. Andrew, 19, London

If I really like her then I dont think it ma ers. If something feels right then you should just go for it. It could be a day or a month. You could say that I move quickly when I like someone. Craig, 18, Derbyshire

Well it depends on who Im seeing. Id normally buy the girl something anyway approaching the third or fourth date. Id give it three weeks I guess. Chris, 22, Essex METRO Dating says:
You need to feel comfortable with someone before giving them a present. If it has only been a short while stick to safe options and get them a little something to show you care, whilst not scaring them!
Page 4

It depends on who she is really. If she's pre y nice and seems to want a long term rela onship I'd get her a gi a er a few days. If she doesn't then I'd give it at least a week if we're s ll going out - nothing big though. It wouldnt be appropriate. Tom, 27, Norwich www.metrodating.co.uk METRO dating

www.metrodating.co.uk

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THEdating NEW... rules

Credit: Corey Martin (cgoldberg89) via Flickr

IN THEIR MINDS? buy your partners a Christmas present?

Many da ng rules were wri en back in the day and since then, technology has advanced and weve discovered more about the opposite sex than we probably needed to. Time has moved on and its me to rewrite the da ng rules.

If you used to accept a last minute oer you ran the risk of being labelled desperate. But if you want to see someone, why wait? Cosmopolitan said: if he wants to go out this minute, say yes! If you end up being spontaneous then the chances are, youll have a be er date as you wont get the opportunity to build up expecta ons.

accept a last minute offer seem enthusiastic

rule one

I was with my boyfriend for two weeks before I brought him a present for Christmas. I wouldnt normally but I really liked him. Weve been together almost two years now. Ella, 23, London

It would have to be a month before Id buy someone a present. I dont like rushing into things and it seems like a big commitment. Jackie, 43, No ngham

I think Id just go for it. I love giving presents and If I liked the guy it wouldnt ma er how long Id been seeing him. Helen, 24, Birmingham

Im not talking about bombarding someone with phone calls - we dont want you to be on the verge of gaining stalker status or anything - but if youre interested, then act interested. Playing hard to get is not cool and a er a while, the other person will more than likely get bored and run a mile; Im speaking from experience here.

rule two

Stop playing games! Wai ng three days to contact someone, wai ng 30 minutes before replying to a text... its too complicated and too much. Da ng should be fun, not a game. If someone texts you, dont start a mer and follow it religious, reply to them when you want to. And if you enjoyed a date, tell them the next day.

say goodbye to the waiting game what three date rule?

Page 24

rule three rule four

It would have to be someone really special for me to buy them a gi . It would be at least two or three months into the rela onship if I was going to. Kelly, 27, London
Join in the debate on our website:

www.metrodating.co.uk
Or tweet us:

Gone are the days when sex was a taboo. Its no longer seen as something you do when youre in love.. If you like someone, dont hold back... When it feels right, youll know and theres no point in missing the perfect opportunity if it comes along. Cosmopolitan said it should happen when it doesn't feel awkward to.
METRO dating

@metrodating
METRO dating

www.metrodating.co.uk

using #intheirminds

Of course if the rela onship was really casual Id probably just buy them a drink. But if I really liked someone and I could see it going somewhere, to me it wouldnt ma er if it was a week or a year, why not buy them a gi ?! Rachael, 21, Lincoln Page 5 www.metrodating.co.uk

Well how about this then? She's a lady who's been cha ed up more mes on a train (including by a woman) than anywhere else, thoroughly believes da ng is "back in" and says boys are just as anxious and sensi ve as girls.

INTERVIEW WITH

During her seven years as a psychosexual therapist and couple counsellor, Elizabeth Hicks has seen more men come through the doors of her cubby hole of an oce than women. So it was on yet another freezing cold November morning that I decided to pay her oce, in the rather tranquil St Mar n's Lane, a visit. I felt like I needed some da ng advice since the ps I'd picked up from women's magazines (hey if men can wear singlets, I see no problem in reading these) never seemed to work. So there I was shivering (I wasn't wearing a singlet) outside. A ray of sunlight provided the absent welcome mat as I stood thinking whether I should knock or ring the door bell. "I'd be er ring the bell," I dithered. "If I knock, my hand might fall o." I know I know, mee ng a sex therapist doesn't require this mediocre a empt at an introduc on but to me this was an important occasion. Myself, like a lot of other men, will probably never meet one of these people in our whole life me. Firstly, it's because we've obviously got be er things to do (cough cough). Secondly, everything's clockwork down below (splu er splu er). And thirdly, we're invincible to sensi vity (thud). "Hello! Lovely to meet you, I'm Elizabeth." She greeted me with a big smile and hurried me up to her oce. Strangely, it seemed like she lived there or at least worked in one of the nicest oces around. The replace sent ickers around the room and it felt temp ng to curl up in a ball in front of the heat. The armchair was where I remained however. "Da ng is back in. In the six es it was big but then it se led down drama cally where you'd have a rela onship with one person and then be expected to marry them," she said. "I get older clients who come in a er ending a long term rela onship and they don't know where to begin. Many start with online da ng websites and all I can advise them to do is present themselves as posi vely as they can." But how can they do this I asked: "Well it's all down to self condence which a lot of our younger clients struggle with. If you're not happy with yourself it shows in the way you present yourselves to others." While everything she told me was extremely useful I wanted to know more about the struggles in teenagers as I was by no means condent. She said: "The problem
METRO dating

This seasons top da ng dilemmas answered by our resident advice guru, Laura Wood.
Da ng someone who works away a lot and doesnt want a serious rela onship.

DATING dilemmas
The dilemma:
The solu on:
First decide if you want a no strings a ached rela onship. If yes, then perfect. If its not for you tell them and if they really dont want anything serious nd someone who wants the same commitment as you.

Liking a colleague of the same sex, not sure if they feel the same.
Being colleagues means that things can get awkward. Is it purely a rac on and curiosity? Are you a racted to all members of the opposite sex or just this one? Be sure of yourself before you tell the person and suggest mee ng out of work to talk about your feelings.

The dilemma:
The solu on:

www.metrodating.co.uk

with teenagers is that they always say 'oh, everyone around me is absolutely ne' and the truth is they're not ne. No-one's perfect and the sooner people realise that the more smoothly they can live their lives." By this me I felt like I was really ge ng my money's worth (not that I paid or anything) and she was being very encouraging. "Girls like it when you listen to them," she said. "If you bring up something they said in a previous mee ng they'll appreciate your observa on." It was here that I explained how my last date didn't go so well because I wasn't paying enough a en on. "If you have nice body language, like you're doing now, smile a lot and make plenty of eye contact it'll go well!" she said. Fla ered, I asked how I can tell if the person on the opposite side of the table is enjoying themselves. She said: "If she keeps making eye contact and plays with her hair then it suggests she's happy. Oh god... I'm doing it now, don't take any no ce I'm old enough to be your mother!" My stomach sunk a li le on that revela on, not Elizabeth's rejec on but the fact that my date had so many locks in her hair a li le ddle was surely inevitable.
Page 6

The dilemma:

Credit: WestEnd61/Rex

Concentrated on career now only single person in friendship group.

Being single isnt a bad thing. Suggest a night in minus partners to reunite with your friends. Most of all dont put pressure on yourself to nd someone just because your friends do. You have your career now take a step back and nd someone that will complement your life as it is instead of wishing for someone elses.

The dilemma:
The solu on:

My partner and I recently split up. I am star ng to feel really lonely with Christmas coming up and I have joined a couple of online da ng sites. Can I nd love for Christmas?
Love is not just for Christmas. If you are looking to nd someone who is right for you then rushing into something is not the best idea. Stop pu ng pressure on yourself and enjoy some me on your own. Just because you dont have a partner, doesnt mean that you cannot enjoy the fes ve season. Organise something fun to do with friends and appreciate having me with For more dating dilemmas visit our family. If you do want to look at website da ng someone new, take things www.metrodating.co.uk steady, you dont want to scare a poten al partner away because you Or tweet us: @metrodating are looking for that serious using #datingdilemmas rela onship right now. www.metrodating.co.uk
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The solu on:

METRO dating

INTERVIEW WITH...

a serial dater
Credit: image source/Rex

Serial daters have been around since the Stone Age. If it's a term you're not familiar with it means someone who gets a thrill from playing their preferred sex around. Experts say it's impossible to decide which gender is more promiscuous, but this interview with our anonymous sex-end can at least put you in the mindset of someone audacious.
Have you always been good with the ladies? Yeah I've never had any trouble speaking to girls or ge ng with girls. I'd say it's because I'm comfortable talking to anyone no ma er who they are and I don't really care about what anybody thinks of me. So many lads care about their appearance and stu which doesn't really ma er. I obviously want to look good but it doesn't take up all my me. What was the rst long term rela onship you had? It was with a girl at college, I dropped out a er rst year because I
METRO dating

wanted to join the Navy. We went out for about four months. Did you go out with any other girls at college? I dated about ve others. How long did those rela onships last? They varied, some only lasted a couple of weeks. Would you say they were proper rela onships? Yeah, we'd hang out as good friends then we'd get really close, kissing and things like that. I'd always text them and make them feel special because that's what I do! Would you ever text mul ple girls at once in a irty sort of way Erm... yes. Why would you do that? I don't know, it's not as if they were all irty, I'm just dead nice to everyone and girls love compliments. It's the way you get laid! So how come they were so short? Erm they just didn't work out.

Were the rela onships all sexual? No, only with a couple. If the rela onships were only two weeks how did sex come so quickly? Because I'm ace! No not really, I don't take rela onships slowly, I know that sounds bad but if you fancy someone then I don't see what's wrong with having sex as soon as start going out. Have you ever cheated on anyone? Yes. How many mes? Not that many mes. Why do you cheat? I don't know, you just get bored. Meaning? Some mes you can't help it. if someone's really t and they're into you it's hard to say no. Plus, it's the best thing in the world shagging someone t. What? As in out of your league? F*** o! It's just sex at the end of the day.

There was nothing, nothing at all. Man, I must have been an absolute joke! "The thing is not to go into the date expec ng to be accepted straight away. I encourage people to date as much as possible because it allows you to nd the right partner. If you just s ck with the rst person you meet it might not be as enjoyable as it could be," she said. Elizabeth described da ng as libera ng because of the opportunity to meet dierent people and nd out what you want in a partner. With websites however she said they brainwash users into what's the perfect partner: "There's never a perfect rela onship and some mes our expecta ons can be too high. No-one can tell you who's right for you except you." As this interview was for

...a sex therapist

METRO Da ng readers, the associa on with trains immediately caught her a en on. "Well you know what trains are a great place to nd a date. In fact I've been cha ed up more mes there than anywhere else. One day even a woman approached me!" Unable to believe this I asked her why it's such a good place to get ac on. "Well if you're sat opposite someone for a long journey it's natural that you may begin cha ng and possibly even fancy one another," she said. "One man asked me for a coee but I had to turn him down as I'm married." Wrapping up the interview and feeling a new sense of condence, I immediately set myself a couple of goals: buy myself a rail card and s ck to newspaper supplements for advice!

When aairs happen a lot of people leave it too late. The longer the aair goes on for the bigger the crisis becomes. Unfortunately social media is common ground for aairs to begin. Aairs can take place in the form of tex ng and Facebook messaging because of instant access and opportunity.

1. Aairs

Common problems in rela onships

2. Big life changes such as having children

It all comes down to the feeling of neglect and less communica on in the rela onship. Having children can mean less me spent together and another commitment to revolve their lives around.

3. Sex life

Simply spicing up your sex life can make for a be er rela onship. Star ng the rela onship full-on with penetra ve sex makes the excitement too short lived. The rst week try cuddles, the next week move onto oral sex then the third week have penetra ve sex.

www.metrodating.co.uk

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METRO dating

Credit: image source/Rex

www.metrodating.co.uk

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WHERE TO GO... this Christmas

A
London
Winter Wonderland

So, how did you and your best friend meet? Oh she's your ex, that's nice. One piece of advice a number of lesbians are given when they rst join the scene is something that usually proves to be extremely valuable, it goes as follows: If her cat hates you, quit. If her ex hates you, quit. If her ex likes you, run.

Credit: image source/Rex

t METRO Da ng we believe that whether you are planning your rst date or even an cipa ng your thir eth, making an eort is paramount in making a las ng impression that will ignite that all important special spark and keep the re alive. But we also know that nding imagina ve, new and cool places can be a missionso weve compiled a list of places to go around the UK for that special day or night out. Youre sure to nd something that ckles your fancy.

Burger and Lobster

All Star Lanes is the perfect des na on for couples who want a bit of friendly compe on on a relaxed date. It oers an adult vibe and you can also get American inspired food and a range of alcohol.

Manchester
All Star Lanes

This is a great event to go out and enjoy the fes ve season with a loved one and explore winter wonderland and everything it encapsulates.

I love the fact that American tradi ons are coming to the UK! Theres a vast selec on of lms and you can get food and alcohol while snuggling up in complimentary blankets, quite roman c.

Hoxton Roo op Cinema

Really good, nice vibe, and not too expensive!

Anyone who wants to relive their childhood memories of London Zoo, needs to come here. At night its just magical.

London Zoo - Zoo Lates

Wahaca

Very chilled out atmosphere, if you want to experience a wide selec on of Mexican food, this is the place.

The universal truth about the lesbian da ng world is that it is extremely incestuous. Abi, 21, says: my exgirlfriend was best friends with all of her exes. That rela onship didnt last long. Also, its essen al to remember that you are not the excep on to anything, if she cheats her way into the rela onship, she'll cheat her way out; and so will you. Don't be surprised if she is best friends with her ex, however hard it may be to grasp. Moving fast? Are you not cooped up with dogs yet? It's common knowledge that the gay world moves a great deal faster than the straight world so don't be surprised if you're moving in with the 'girl of your dreams' a er just a few short months. Natalie, 28, says: I was with my girlfriend for two months before we moved in together. I know it was fast but I just knew she was the one. Weve lived together for two years now. It's not just you moving fast; before you know it your gay friend who used to operate as a single unit of human will become part of an inseparable gay double-unit of human and you will not be able to see one without seeing the other. But fear not, this addi onal human will probably end up becoming one of your gay friends too.
METRO dating

IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT ITS NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE THERE TO FALL BACK ON.

It's your me of the month? Yep, hers too! PMS, or ' me of the month' as some like to refer to it, is possibly - or rather undoubtedly - one of the most annoying problems that comes with being a woman. It's an emo onal me lled with confusion and anger, followed by more confusion about why you're angry and then inevitably more anger at anyone who dares to ques on your reasons for being angry. Rachael, 26, says: My girlfriend and I have now managed to sync cycles, making that me of the month just a li le more dreadful. Of course for lesbians, the annoyance of the dreaded ' me of the month' ordeal is doubled, and with it comes two sets of emo ons, two sets of anger and two sets of confusion. Instead of just ge ng twelve a year, lesbians couples are blessed with 24. And nally, no one, and I mean no one, is single. Yes, she may be gazing lovingly across the table confessing her undying love for you, but be cau ous; whether it's an ex girlfriend, old friend or a past ing, no one is single!

Situated in Stevenson Square the ki lounge encompasses a really classy tropical Hawaiian themed bar, such a nice contrast to bleak Manchester.

Hula Tiki Lounge

Your worst lesbian dating dilemmas: Abi Lawton, 21, Lincoln:

Emily, 30, kept her ex around incase things didnt work out: looking back I suppose it was a bit mean, she says, but if it doesnt work out its nice to have someone there to fall back on. In regards to the da ng world, lesbians can be seen as somewhat of the minority, or so they think. It is therefore deemed harder by the lesbian world to nd ones soul mate. This said, it's no surprise that a number of women will keep searching, whilst s ll holding on to that last ing just in case.

I know theres a China Town in London but its nice to be exposed to another culture. Its perfect for night me dates. Lots of street food and bright lights. I love art and exhibi ons as they are really relaxing. And it was nice to see dierent pieces and collec ons.

China Town

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend. The worst thing about it was my best friend was my ex too.

Artzu Gallery

METRO dating

www.metrodating.co.uk

I was da ng a girl for two weeks before she asked me to move in with her. I ran for my life and havent spoke to her since.
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Abbey Brown, 25, London

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THE TRUTH ABOUT LESBIAN DATING...

You could imagine that da ng a woman would be perfect. Two sets of clothes to share, someone who understands your deepest emo ons and someone who agrees with your no on that men aren't stupid, but merely just the inferior sex. However, as hard as it may be to grasp, the lesbian world is not as straigh orward as it may seem. I know, it's shocking. But fear not; METRO Da ng has the essen al guide to help you through. Lesbian da ng is hard, a mineeld in fact, and if you are or have ever been involved in this complicated world, you'll share the pain of these inevitable dilemmas. It's all new, and so are you!
You're the new lesbian on the block and everyone wants to know you. If you are reasonably presentable, carry yourself well and can hold a conversa on for longer than ve minutes then women will be falling at your feet. Yes, lesbian da ng is a mineeld. It's a small world and even smaller in the world of lesbians, so much so that word travels fast, and soon girls over the other side of the country will know your name, and others will just want to know you. Remember though, there will soon be a new Bi-curious, Bi-sexual or lesbian

its a minefield

Liverpool
The Beatles Museum

I like all types of music but im not a huge fan of The Beatles. However it was a good experience just understanding the band a bit be er. Im sure fans would love it.

The Echo Wheel

Ive only been once but it was denitely memorable. You have the slavery museum in there which is just shocking, not quite sure if its somewhere you would want to go on a date unless its more of a day out.

Merseyside Mari me Museum

Lovely and roman c to go on to sight see on cold December Winter nights.

If you want to show your spouse some sophis ca on on your date, you cant go wrong with this place. Its quite pricey but well worth it!

Marco Pierre White Steakhouse

Knowsley Safari Park

My girlfriends a vet, so she loves animals. Its something dierent as she doesnt get to see a lion come into the prac ce everyday!

Leeds
SkyLounge Bibis

Everyman Cinema

If she cheats her way into the rela onship, she'll cheat her way out; and so will you

The top of the Hilton Hotel has an amazing lookout over central Leeds, wrap up warm and take in the view of the city lit up at night. Authen c Italian cuisine, perfect for a night out with live music shows and perfectly cra ed cocktails, try the seafood linguine.

'Perfect for cuddling up, this cinema has two seater sofas instead of horrible cinema seats. You can order drinks to your seat. Very cosy, very roman c.

Ice Cube

Wrap up really warm for a skate on the ice, the evening is be er as there are less children. Lovely hot chocolate to warm up with a erwards.

Credit: image source/Rex

woman on the scene just itching to take your place, and she will, so take advantage of the a en on before you're soon just another girl admiring, or rather loathing, the new edi on. Leanne, 21, says: I only came out a year ago; now I nd myself falling over myself to meet the new woman on the scene.
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The Alchemist

Great for the start of a night out, amazing cocktails made straight in front of you. The food is amazing, try get a seat on the balcony if you can.
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Danni and Ma found each other on da ng website Plenty of Fish. We asked them how online da ng worked for them and what they are planning for their second Christmas together.

YOUR MOST... THOSE WHO embarrassing stories

How long were you using online da ng before you found each other? Why did you use online da ng in the rst place?
Danni: Time. Time and that the two exes that I had met were rubbish. Id met them at night clubs or through friends. It was like everyone that you met out in a club just wanted one thing - sex. Someone recommended going online as she met her fella there. So I thought Id give it a go. Ma : Ive got a pre y enclosed group of friends, everyone in that group was either taken or had been taken at some stage by someone within the group. So it was me to get some fresh blood in. Im quite a lazy person so the internet seemed like an easy op on to nd someone new. Danni: A couple of months I think. I had only been on one date before I went out with Ma . Ma : About three months, I had been on about three or four dates which were alright. One of them lasted more than one date but it zzled out and didnt work in the end. The rest either lied grossly or their pictures were very a ering on the internet or they werent really nice people.

What are you most looking forward to about spending Christmas together?

Ma : On my prole I put something about cooking curries, I like to cook and put a good curry together and I just got a random message from this strange girl saying why dont you cook me a curry? and I was like well Im up for that - she likes curry, sounds good to me. It took three dates un l she got to have the curry though.

How did you choose each other?

Danni: My mum did it. [laughs] as silly as that sounds she picked him, as he looked like he was going to be a nice boy. Ma : And how wrong was she?! Danni: [laughter] In all seriousness, there was two - there was one guy and Ma . I asked my mum which one she liked be er and she picked Ma .

Ma : Presents. Durrrr. Danni: Its just me, its nice because we dont always get a lot of me together because of my job. When we do spend weekends together its taken up a lot of the me by other people so its nice for people to run around for us for a change and us to relax on the sofa together. Ma : Nice bit of turkey. I absolutely love Christmas dinner. I could eat it every day if I was allowed. Danni: Were going to his mum and dads this year and itll be just us four. Itll be nice for some quiet family me.

Weve all had our fair share of da ng dilemmas. Whether it be that spinach in your teeth that you fail to no ce un l you get home or the woman who enjoys the wine just a li le too much. But fear not, youre not the rst and you certainly wont be the last. Our METRO Da ng readers share their most embarrassing moments.

Credit: image source/Rex

Finally, what advice would you give to anyone who is using online da ng, looking for love?

Last Christmas, my boyfriend of two years surprised me with a trip to London. He'd booked ckets for the London Eye and although I wasn't great with heights, I decided to go along with it. I'd been hin ng about a Pandora ring for months and was so excited when he surprised me with it as we stopped at the top. What I wasn't expec ng though was for the whole carriage to erupt in applause followed by being surrounded by a number of people oering us there congratula ons. Needless to say, we weren't engaged, and I was mor ed! We just smiled through the rest of the agonising decline and spent the rest of the trip in an awkward silence. Rebecca, 22, Manchester A er I came out to my parents I decided to invite my rst ocial girlfriend over to the house. I was nervous, but my parents had been really accep ng so I was excited. My family are quite par al to a few prac cal jokes so as we entered the house to a rendi on of ''I'm coming out'' I wasn't surprised, although s ll completely mor ed. I was as red as a tomato but my girlfriend took it really well and it was the perfect ice breaker. Sophie, 24, No ngham A few of my friends signed me up to an online da ng site. I'd been through a messy divorce and nally felt ready
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to get into the da ng scene. I got talking to a woman and we arranged to meet up for a dinner. It was going well un l, in my nervous state, I pulled the en re table cloth out from the table, and with it covered her in the nest wine this side of Europe. Maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought, but she agreed to a second date! Richard, 42, London

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Danni: Ask your mum. Ma : S ck it out, dont give up. Youll re o a lot of emails and from a blokes prospec ve, youll get a very small percentage back but s ck at it and itll happen, just a ma er of me. If youve got the pa ence its going to happen. Danni: I think for a woman as well dont get to the point where you think it is just men that just want a one night thing. You get a lot of men who are messaging because they want a one night stand. It is just s cking at it and believing that there are people on there for the real reason.
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I'd been seeing a few girls at the same me. They were all good looking and I was ac ng really smug about it when telling my friends. I'd arranged to meet up with one of the girls for dinner at a local restaurant. I arrived nice and early and ordered us both

pulled the en re table cloth out from the table, and with it covered her in the nest wine this side of Europe

In my nervous state, I

drinks. 30 minutes in and she s ll hadn't showed. I was just about to leave when in walks my date, with the two other girls I'd been seeing. Turns out, word had spread and they'd all found out about each other. They confronted me in front of the whole restaurant and the diners were more than happy to applaud their eorts. I apologised, grovelled and then walked out with my tail between my legs. It's safe to say I'd got my comeuppance. Dan, 28, Brighton I decided to choose last year's Christmas oce party as the perfect me to come out to my work colleagues. I was on my second bo le of Prosecco and my condence had shot through the roof. So much so that I also felt the need to stand on a table and profess to the crowd that I was madly in love with our opera ons manager. Pitying looks lled the room and he simply replied, I think it's me you called it a night.' Safe to say I kept my head down at work the next day! Anon, Cardi
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ex is a healthy part of any couples rela onship and for some Britons it is even a paramount founda on. However culture and society has treated the subject of sex as a taboo, un l most recently. Television is being used as a tool to impact the views of millions, by delving into the subject of sex and da ng head rst. But has this nonchalant a tude to sex and rela onships helped those on the da ng scene or rather hindered them by television making it a lighthearted insensi ve issue? In a country where sex is legal at the tender age of 16, and has recently been proposed to be lowered, should this natural and totally normal aspect of life be handled the way it currently is? I took a look at a mixture of reality series and sitcoms featured on television as of late. Series like Masters of Sex, Sex Box, Bi- Curious Me and The Sex Clinic have been aired on channels known for their controversial documentaries and series. Channel 4 and BBC Three, famously love to shock their audience and evoke emo on; however this is not always for the right reasons. Many programmes on television make this subject a form of entertainment and this is seen in The Sex Clinic. Pa ents come into a clinic to get advice and help on sexual health but lurking behind the seriousness of the programme the pa ents are portrayed as idiots and uneducated. And this could have a detrimental eect on people at home who need help but are too
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2013 has arguably been the year of television exploring, uncovering and tackling some home truths about sex. But is this a good or bad thing? Rianne Mitchell explores sex and da ng on TV.
scared to go to the doctor as they will be looked upon in the same way. Sex Box could also be seen as taking the subject of sex to a insensi ve place. The programme promotes somewhat a resemblance of so porn without being so explicit. Couples are able to have sex in a box in front of a live audience then go out and discuss the experience with sex psychologists. Contrary to such reality shows, Masters of Sex focuses on the pioneering of human sexuality. Focusing on how orgasms are achieved are more educa onal, although in the form of a American series I feel the programme is informa ve while telling a real life story. These programmes have undeniably opened up debate for discussion, but why is it that we have to wait for these controversial and somewhat shocking series to discuss important taboo subjects such as sex? METRO Da ng explores the posi ves and nega ves of sex and da ng advice on television. 3 POSITIVES - It is a quick and informal way to gain informa on rather than going to the doctor or someone that has knowledge or exper se in the eld and also avoid talking to others about your personal experiences. - It can save embarrassment or humilia on - It can give an insight into dierent rela onships, making it easy to compare yourself or situa on to what you see on television 3 NEGATIVES - It is not reality, although TV shows maybe called reality, you cannot rely purely on this fact. You need to apply your own situa on to some real life advice and guidance - Sex and da ng on television does not portray a realis c picture of what

DATING ON TV
S
Whats On Now?
SEX BOX

happens in real life. Go out and experience it rst hand! - It is not good or healthy to compare yourself or situa on to what you may see on television. This can give you incorrect informa on and confuse limited knowledge you may already have Consider METROs nega ve and posi ve points on television exploring sex and da ng issues. Tweet us you views at @MetroDa ng and dont forget to hashtag #SexandDa ngOnTV!

...made it

Beth I knew that I couldn't stay in the rela onship. I told him the truth; that I didn't feel for him like I used to and he was really suppor ve. It wasn't necessarily just about my feelings for Beth, it was more about being on my own and dealing with the feelings I was having. Beth, were you wary of progessing with Nat given the situa on she was in? Yeah, I guess you could say that. For me this wasnt a phase, its just who I am. I think looking back I probably held my feelings back a li le un l I was sure it was going to go somewhere.

It just felt right, it was kind of libera ng

Where did you go on your rst date?

Watch couples openly discuss their feelings and sensations about their love life.
Mondays 9pm

MASTERS OF SEX

Follow the US drama series about the real life pioneers of human sexualit.
Tuesdays 10pm WHAT HAPPENS IN KAVOS

Nat Cooper and girlfriend Beth Nelson celebrate two years together on the 15th December. Like a number of other couples, they met and fell in love at University. However for Nat, the rela onship signalled the start of a complete life change.
How did you both meet? Nat: It was at Uni. We both had mutual friends and one night we were all together in a bar and we just got talking. We ended up spending the whole night talking and haven't been able to stop since. Beth: I just remember hearing about
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this girl called 'Nat.' I knew she had a boyfriend at the me so I wasn't expec ng anything out of it when we rst met. I'd just got out of a rela onship so I just wanted some me me and to have a bit of fun. Nat, did your feelings scare you? Yeah, I did have a boyfriend of a year at the me and I thought I was in love. When I got talking to Beth I just automa cally thought we'd be friends but then we spoke more and feelings started to progress. I wouldn't say it scared me though; as cheesy as it sounds it just felt right. It was kind of libera ng.

Nat: We were both at Lincoln University at the me and every December they hold a Christmas market so we went up together. Beth: It was really roman c - we had our rst kiss on the Ferris wheel overlooking the cathedral. Nat: There was lots of mulled wine too which I think helped with the nerves. What are you looking forward to most about this Christmas?

Channel 4 explores the cheap mix of young Brits, alcohol and sex in Kavos.
Thursdays 10pm
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Nat: We'll be heading back to Lincoln for the Christmas market again. I think it will become a yearly occurrence as it means a lot to both of us. Beth: It's the rst year we'll be spending Christmas day together as well this year which I'm so excited about. Nat: Its going to be nice spending What happened with your me with each other and our boyfriend? families. Beth: Oh and the presents, I can't As soon as I started ge ng feelings for wait for the presents.

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Choosing what to wear on a date can end up being more stressful than wai ng to see if hes going to text you the following day. With the weather ge ng colder by the second, its important to look good, feel good and remain warm throughout the date. A coat is an absolute necessity so here at METRO Da ng, weve picked out two comfortable - but stunning - ou its that are based around this must-have Autumn/Winter coat.
Coat J by Jasper Conran 169

WHAT TO WEAR
Bag Steve Madden 60

David, Charlee and Greg, all 23

We like girls who dress on trend yet classy at the same me. Both of these ou its are something wed love to see a girl wearing on a winter date.

HOW TO... girls survive Christmas

Christmas is coming and maybe you dont have someone special to share the fes vi es with. Being alone at Christmas means you have some me to reect on yourself and to surround yourself with family and friends. Peter Spalton aka The Da ng Doctor gives his top ve ps for single people over the Christmas period.

Dress F&F at Tesco, 35

Earrings Accessorize, 6

Tip one

Blouse Principles at Debenhams, 32.50

Tip two

Make a Christmas resolu on to nd a date by the second week in January. Get on an internet da ng site and create a prole that lists the ten best things about you, and don't forget a head-andshoulder picture.

Spend a day out at your local German Market and join in the fun by talking and joking with some of the stall holders there. Use your Christmas shopping trips as an opportunity to talk to strangers in the shops and if you really get on with one of them, suggest a coee there and then.

Tip three

Tights Marks & Spencers, 6

Check out the meet ups in your area at www.meetup.com and buck up the courage to go along to one and two just to enjoy yourself.

Tip four Tip five

Boots Oce, 85

Boots Matalan, 24 Skirt George at Asda 14

Credit: Burger

Do something that you have always wanted to do but have never had the me to.
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METRO dating

THE BEST... dating apps

Tinder allows you to browse through proles of users nearby and anonymously decide who you like. If someone likes you back, youll be able to chat directly through the app. The best part of this app is that its like a game: click the red cross if the person doesnt take your fancy or the green ck if they do. When a match has been made, it pops up onto the screen to let you know. I must admit, its great nding out that someone hot thinks youre hot too a nice li le ego boost.

In this day and age, me seems to move quicker than ever and for many of us, there arent enough hours in the day to dedicate to da ng. As a tech-savvy genera on, we're constantly on the move with our smartphones and our tablets and as a result of this, app-developers have decided to help us out a li le bit. Over the past couple of years, lots of da ng apps have found their way into our apps stores and here at METRO Da ng, we decided to cut out the middle man and let you know which of these apps are actually worth downloading.

A "great Bri sh style" of clothing it certainly is, a gentlemen's blazer would be the sort of thing found in Roger Moore's wardrobe oozing a simple classiness that even young adults can get away with. A blazer is great for cool days strolling in the park or around outdoor winter markets. Spor ng two generously large pockets on the lower front, you can store your gloves or hat inside and s ll have room to put your keys and wallet in as well.
Blazer Burton, 70

ON YOUR DATE
Watch Next, 25

Jemma, Anna and Laura, all 21

Men who dress stylish are perfect! Its wonderful nally seeing men taking care of themselves. Id denitely love to see a guy dressed in those ou its.

boys

Tinder

With over 5 million users, Skout is one of the most popular da ng apps out there. The app allows you to search through people who are nearby and send messages and Wink Bombs to them. Skout is extremely easy to use simply shake your device and it will nd someone nearby to chat to in just 30 seconds. Similar to Tinder - but not as fun - this app allows you to search through users and speak to them as you wish. They dont have to like you rst which to be honest, removes a bit of excitement.

Skout

Badoo is an app for those who prefer personality over looks. Anonymously, you chat with people around you and when you're comfortable, you show each other a picture of yourself. Think of it as blind da ng except you're not really on a date. Yet. I did enjoy using this. Ive been guilty of ignoring a guy because of how he looks - its bad, I know - and this app allows you to get to know the person behind the image rst. Its not nice when a guy stops talking to you a er youve exposed your photo though.

Badoo

T-Shirt Primark, 5

Scarf House of Fraser, 40

Shirt Fenchurch at Jacamo, 50

Phone case Paperchase, 12

Jeans George at Asda 16

Chinos TU at Sainsburys, 14

I really loved using Tinder. It was like a game and although I didnt meet anyone to go on a date with, it was a lot of fun.

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I hooked up with a few people when using the app. It was denitely successful for me.

The shake to nd someone in 30 seconds was a nice addi on but I prefer Tinder - its more fun!

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This app allows you speak to people without knowing if they like you too. It allows me to win over the ladies.

I enjoyed using Badoo. It was nice to speak to guys without knowing what they looked like rst.

This app was strange. I think you have to have a physical a rac on to someone so it wasnt for me.

Shoes Jasper Conran, 75 Boots Debenhams, 100

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As people, we love reading and hearing about other peoples da ng disasters and da ng successes. So for your entertainment, I will be going out with a dierent guy every week for three weeks. I can handle that, surely? Im most certainly not an experienced dater - Ive never been on a real date - so Im denitely looking forward to understanding the world of da ng.

UNDERCOVER

dater
Credit: Cultura/Rex

The commute to work is one that is quite frankly, extremely boring. Most of the me Im stood up looking red and glaring at the people who managed to nd a seat. But every now and then, the journey to work gets a li le bit more interes ng. Yes, Im talking about spo ng a beau ful man in the distance. As we all know, London is a lonely place. Once, I thanked someone for holding the door for me and they gave me the dir est look youll ever have seen. Most people dont smile at you, they dont make eye contact and theyll barge past you at any given moment. So when I saw beau ful man staring at me from across the tube, my heart gave way.

We both got o at the same stop Victoria and as I walked away, he grabbed my hand and asked for my number. It was pre y much a fairy-tale. Of course, I agreed and hopped and skipped to work. Once Id completed a day in the oce, I checked my phone to a message from beau ful man: I hope youre okay. Im free tonight, fancy a couple of drinks? My name is Ed by the way. Why yes, Mr Beau ful Man I mean, Ed (once again, named changed) Id love a couple of drinks. I replied and we agreed to meet at 8pm. A er a lot of prepara on work choosing my ou it, ensuring my

WEEK TWO: On the tube eyeliner matched on both eyes and

carefully curling my hair so it didnt look like Id made too much of an eort Ed was outside my door. We went out for drinks and the conversa on owed naturally. There was a lot of laughter and even more ir ng personally, I thought it went amazing. A er walking me home, we kissed, said goodnight and we arranged another date: he even gave me the beer mat that we were playing with how roman c. The next day a er work, I check my messages and see that hes blocked my number and blocked me on Facebook. Am I really that bad?! Strange.

Despite being hugely popular, online da ng is something that Ive never dabbled with. Signing up to Plenty of Fish (its free and one of the biggest da ng websites out there) was pre y easy and I carefully started to construct my prole. I made sure that no embarrassing photos of me singing Wrecking Ball into an inatable walking s ck yes, this has happened ended up on display to the rest of mankind. I chose my best prole picture and kept my addic on to cats carefully tucked away. Only a few minutes later, an inux of messages had found their way into my inbox. Most of them asked if they could wine and dine me while a few guys tried their luck with a few
METRO dating

oddly inappropriate and cringy on their behalf messages. I liked the idea of snooping on a guys prole before agreeing to even reply to him but then I thought to myself; hold on a minute, didn't I just construct my prole to show my best side? How many other people are doing the same thing?! So a er a while of stalking proles, I just decided to reply to the ones who had sent me nice and not at all creepy messages. A er what seemed like yonders of ltering through messages, I had my eye on one guy Rhys (not his real name, conden ality and all that). From his picture, he seemed to be my type and his messages weren't

at all sugges ve or sleazy, just nice.

One night I was casually sat at home when I received a text telling me to get ready. It was Bonre Night and Rhys had decided to take me to watch the reworks. A er a nice walk and a lovely chat, Rhys asked me if I wanted to go for a few drinks. Of course, I said yes. Many drinks later, he walked me home, kissed me and asked if I was up for going on a real date on Thursday. I said yes in an instant however, Thursday came and Rhys cancelled. Apparently his ex had go en back in touch. Since then, weve met up again as friends with benets. Shh. Dont judge me.

WEEK ONE: Online dating

A er eight years apart, my rst love and I decided it was me to see each again. Was I nervous? Denitely. I'd stalked him on Facebook and I knew that me was denitely on his side he was basically a ho er, more muscular, wiser version of his old self. And his old self was pre y incredible too.

WEEK THREE: An old flame

He was my rst everything and although we separated on good-terms, we cut o all contact with each other. We were young and we decided that completely removing ourselves from each others lives was the best way. Mee ng up was excep onally nerve-wracking but the date ended up being incredibly lovely. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we (almost) cried and at the end of it, we kissed. It was magical and it ignited a lot of old feelings. I don't know what I was expec ng from this date, I suppose I just wanted to catch up with him; me has passed extremely quickly and we shared a huge part of our lives with each other. Never did I expect my feelings for him to show their face again. Who knows what this date will bring? But one thing is for certain, I won't be le ng him go again any me soon.
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