JUNE 1999 June 6, 1999 Arizona Ashram May 1999 was a helter-skelter month of Shri gigs, preparations for leaving for New York and France, and the usual schedule of After Dinner Talks, darshans, Sunday morn- ing teaching meetings and ongoing zany affairs in the ashram office with Lee. In early May Lee traveled to Canada where he gave a five day seminar at Mangalam, a center of ‘Amaud Desjardins that is managed by his disciple, Eric Edelmann Purna flew in from Little Rock and Rick L. from Vancouver to accompany Lee during the week. Purna and Rick both returned directly to their homes after the seminar, so there was Naot of the usual storytelling when Lee returned to Arizona, but a few stories Wert gleaned here and there. It was the third year that Lee had gone to Mangalam to give teachings, and once again it seemed that laughter was one of the key ingredients of the mix Preparations for Lee's trip to France have been steadily underway for the past week. Lee has had all the new Hohm Press books, CDs and domestic items needed by the ashram in France packed into heavy, square cardboard boxes. The packing preeci cluttered the greenhouse for two weeks. The ashram is used to this routine Net it is the fourth sum- ar that Lee has spent in France. This year he will be gone for four and a half months. Many people are coming into the office to tie up loose ‘ends of business with the guru, Knowing they won't see him again until October. Lee has made @ number of comments sich as “Don't fax me unless it's an emergency . . . or really necessary” He expects his students to practice and carry on without any dependence on his physical presence. Lae leaves for New York in two days. He plans to spend a week in New York City and surrounding area with his family and some of his students before flying on to Paris. Dur- ing that time he will visit Andrew Cohen at his ashram in Massachusetts and give a public talk in New York City. June 9, 1999 New York City Lee and his entourage arrived in New York City about twenty-four hours 28. Since then he has been on a feasting spree—a home-cooked Italian dinner, pastrartt sandwiches pizza. For the past two months Lee had been eating so sparingly—fruit for lunch and raw Vegetables for dinner—that when asked about it he had said, “I'm preparing for four vee the in France!” Now in New York he dug in with a hearty appetite, and over pasta mot hamemade braggiole, meatballs, spicy sausage and stuffed, rolled pork skin cooked wien elicious basil tomato sauce, he jokingly said, ‘I'm in training!” He referred to the fact that he will be hosted lavishly during his teaching travels in Europe But since he has ana ed in New York it seems like he is preparing himself for something else—beyond stretching his stomach to accommodate the rich meals his hosts will provide—with all this gross, heavy food, so much the opposite of his usual diet of salad, vegetables, brown rice and fruit. res nasn’t done any teaching in New York for fourteen years, but he has lots of his- tory in this place. This is where Lee's sensational and provocative first book, Spiritual 241AS ITS Slavery, hit the bookstores in 1975 with its raw, gutsy proclamations of God realization. I is where Lee and the Hohm Community had a center for a few years in the late seventies, and where Lee gave darshan every Sunday night. Its also where his notable friendship with erotic writer Marco Vassi, the editor of the Penthouse Forum, began. During those early years Lee earned a reputation as an iconoclastic maverick by mer- cilessly skewering the layers of illusion that he perceived in everyone around him. He criticized the hypocrisy of the spiritual scene and often pointed toward and even sati- tized other teachers in his publications like “Lazy Wisdom,” a hilarious take-off on Da Free John’s publication “Crazy Wisdom.” Lee once described his relationship with New York City as a ‘love/hate relationship.” Making the teaching available to New Yorkers hhas always had problematical aspects to it. New Yorkers typically seem mired in what Rudi (6wami Rudrananda) called the “spiritual supermarket,” where people get lost, fas- cinated by the great variety of products on the shelves. Not to mention the fact that fo most New Yorkers, New York is their guru. Tonight at Lee's public talk in NYC anyone could show up from Lee's past, from old Silva Mind Control friends and associates to former students and devotees. ‘All of this history hummed along silently with the group who walked along briskly with Lee as he took the subway and then walked for fifteen blocks down Broadway to the Source of Life Center at Thirty-fourth Street and Broadway where he would give his pub- Tic talk tonight Starting out from the pizza-by-the-slice place where he and a small group of five just had dinner, Lee began to tell the story of an est trainer who was going to give the est course for the first time in New York City: feeling some trepidation given the notorious reputation the New York est seminars had amongst the est staff, one of the trainers went to Werner Ethard and asked him how he handled teaching in NYC. Werner said, "I get up in the morning and ask myself, 's this a good day to die?’ and if the answer is yes, then I go and teach,” the implication being that every day isa teaching day because every day is a good day to die. ‘Lee told the story—which he has told many times before—with enthusiasm, but to- night the story also carried a characteristic vulnerability, a glimpse of his unashamed humanity. Lee is never one to pretend that he doesn't experience nervousness or fear—he simply goes ahead and does whatever is needed regardless of how he feels. Over the years ithas become apparent that itis his sheer vulnerability to the fact of being human in the most full and all-encompassing terms that much of his strength and resilience comes from. Mulling all this over Jane asked, “Is that how you feel right about now “Yes...” Lee smiled. Unspoken but lingering in the air was the question: “How will Lee Lozowick show up tonight?” By Lee's own admission, he never knows because he has no plan, no personal preferences, no agenda other than to serve the work of Yogi Rametinatkumar, Walking past theaters, delis, shops, crowds of people, all the glitter and glamour of Broadway, we headed into the building and walked upstairs and into the room that Dean and his twin brother Michael had set up for Lee's talk. "As the room filled up some crazy-looking characters mingled with the incoming crowd. Atall, bulky, rather homely woman in a plain housedress came in, and then a slight, dark, flashy woman with long, dyed hair. She wore a slinky white, ankle-length dress. They were an unlikely pair of friends, but they made a flamboyant point of establishing terri- tory in the front row beside two other women. They sat andl talked loudly between them- selves, ostentatiously greeting others who arrived. Another woman came in carrying a huge bouquet of white flowers—lilies and roses—and sat in the middle of the room. The 242JUNE 1999 ed for some reason, like she had something in mind. Usually Lee's talk give them to him, but this woman now laid them bulky bouquet seemed charg people who bring flowers to rece seat next to her as she sat down and looked around the room. People seemed very wth who was in the room. It seemed that many of them knew each other. Lee started out speaking rapidly in a slightly acidic tone that was alternately self- concerned deprecating and insulting to his audience. “I'm not sure if anybody has expectations this evening. | usually ramble—so if you're expecting a linear presentation. you WO? t get aren tne talk turns mean and you're offended, I won't be offended if you leave Ihave a message, but its not consoling, because human beings are pretty creepy Srealste™ Maybe you go around hugging one another, and tell people ‘I love you, but that doesn’t make you a human being either. J have no credentials. [have absolutely no credentials in worldly terms, so if you need that to give what I say any weight, then you're in trouble. I have a teacher in India re fe alive He accepts me and gives me a certain amount of recognition that is my wvedential in the States. Even though I have been teaching for twenty-four years, doing this Work, people discount it. So if you leave, I won't be insulted—really. I've had so many people leave my talks over the years I'm used to it. Not that [think it’s pleasant, it sucks, but I've gotten used to it. “So if you expect wisdom tonight you'll have to be able to read between the lines. If you don’t read between the lines you'll think what's going on is scandalous. What it's all spout is that you are trying to force reality into your mold. We all have il tusions that have tobe faced, including me . ‘My tradition is associated with the Bauls, who are a heretical sect who use sex, food, family and work for transformation. The Bauls do not follow the philosophy of renounc- ing the world to find God: that is ridiculous and impossible because the world is God. If you renounce the world, you're not going to find God. The Prain can produce all kinds of tnoods of bliss and ecstasy and so forth, but that's not God "So, just disregard what I say if you want to as someone who is significantly arrogant. If you're offended by what I say you are just giving my opinion credibility. You know Wiatl mean? If say anything you disagree with, just ignore it! We like audience partic pation, so if you want to yell out, hoot, holler, go ahead! Lee told a joke and gota few chuckles from the audience. He said, “Well, there’s a few people smiling, that's good,” then he continued in his stream, of consciousness style. “My Frenion is that hope against hope, something I say here tonight might be of value to some of you.” He shrugged almost nonchalantly, as if he automatically accepted that the possi- bility of this crowd making use of what he had to say was so minimal as to be nonexistent Bo chancel”*he said, going into a fast repartee with the large woman on the front row. "Vous parlez Francais? "he asked her. She said no and asked if he did. “Un petit peu," he answered. He continued, “Back to the Bauls. The Bauls find God here and now in the body, not after death, The Bauls believe in the transformation of energy and they use the stronger energies in the body and work within daily, ordinary life—within theif work, family situations. If we're going to use energies to serve our spiritual path then the stronger the energies, the more likely they can be used for transformation in 9 significant way. The Beate aee breath and sexual energy for transformation. Of course before one can be init, ted into esoteric practices like these there are foundation practices that must bein place. Tie talked about what is demanded of practitioners who want to enter the Vajrayana 243,