I knew he was still alive, despite what everyone tries to tell me.

I knew that h e was still out there and waiting for me... and now I found him and I find mysel f wishing that I was the one who had died that day.

Unexpected... The kitchen was beginning to smell like Cajun, my eyes were watering and my lips prickled. Which meant that I was getting the recipe. When it was this hot outsi de there was nothing better than good-natured spicy food. The flies droned on th e other side of the window screen and birds plunged into the blue chipped bird b ath in the wilted and dry yard. If there was water to spare I would go out and w ater the grass... but there wasn't and I really didn't have time for that. Had to get dinner done, he was leaving in the morning and I wanted to give him a proper send off. The front door creaked open, then slammed shut before any of the insects could c ome into our air conditioned haven. "Welcome home!" I called, not looking up or ceasing in my stirring. Arms wrapped around my waist as full lips brushed against my earlobe. "I'm back. " A kiss was planted on my neck, and then the junction where neck and shoulder m et. "What's for dinner?" "Gumbo." "You and your spicy food." He muttered, his hand sliding down and his lips plant ing another kiss, this time on my exposed shoulder blade. "Behave." "Your the one wearing this little outfit and cooking spicy food." His one hand c radled my hip as his other one pushed my hair over my shoulder. "I'm going to mi ss you." "You're only going for the weekend." "Yes, but a weekend that I have to be sleeping in the same bed as Jasper... inst ead of you." "You're the one who wanted to go." "It's a tradition with us guys." His lips brushed the nape of my neck. "We all g o up to the cabin every time this year. Best fishing time of the year." "More like the best beer drinking and bullshitting time." "Don't be like that." He whispered, moving his hands to the small of my back, un tying the knot that held the bottom of my halter shut. I tapped the spoon on the edge of the pot and turning off the burner. "Foods goi ng to get cold." "We can heat it up later." He muttered, his fingertips moving up to the top knot

. "I won't get to hold you for an entire seventy-two hours... We should enjoy ou rselves while we can." "You're acting like we're never going to see each other." But I allowed him to t urn me around, letting my shirt fall onto the tiled floor as his thumbs hooked i n the belt loops of my cut-offs and pulled me closer. Our lips locked and for a moment I completely lost all concept of time and place. All I was aware of was the man whose arms were wrapped around me. "Three days can be an eternity." He lifted me off my feet and started to take me towards the back room. "Food... Are you hungry?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Yes... but not for what you're thinking about." He kicked open our room's door and laid me down on the bed. "Are you seriously saying tha t you don't want to?" "Maybe, if I wasn't the only half-naked one, I would be more willing." A smirked stretched across his face as he undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt . "Little minx." He growled as he threw the garment to the room's corner and str etched his body over mine. "Though that is why I like you so much." His fingers unsnapped the top of my shorts and pulled at the zipper. "And here I thought you loved my personality." I grinned, tugging at his belt as his lips met mine once more. His tongue slipped between my teeth and his hand slipped inside my panties, maki ng me hiss as I got his fly open and started to pull his pants down with my hand s and feet. "That too." He added as he pulled away long enough to tug at my shorts and under wear. "Do I really have to go?" He grunted as I rolled him onto his back and ran my nails down his chest. "That's what I keep wondering." "Well, it is only for three days... God..." His head sank back into the pillows as my hands wrapped around him and started to pump. "Maybe I could call them and cancel." "It is going to be our first fourth together." I whispered, licking his cheek an d down to nip at his neck. "True... Fireworks and grilled food with a long night of just us... Bella..." He panted as my hand picked up speed. "Please... let me in..." I just smiled, removing my hand and kissing his chest. "If that's what you want. " "Believe me... it is..." He was adorable like this, and no one knew it but me. I wonder what the people a t the law office would say if they ever found out... probably the same way the g uys at work would act if they found out how I was in bed. I slipped down his length, wrapping around him and smiling at the look that cros sed his face. He was adorable, and yet undeniably sexy. How did that work?

He grabbed my hips, pulling me further down onto him as my head lolled to the si de with a growl. "Harder..." I gasped, his hips bucking up at me as I moved against him. The springs creaked and the headboard thumped against the wall... we kept meanin g to buy a new one. Maybe after his trip. One of his hands cupped my backside as we picked up speed, while his other palme d my right breast. "Edward..." I moaned, nearing my peak, shoving him further into me. Then I was t umbling over the edge, with him not too far behind me. We stayed lying on the bed for a few minutes, trying to catch our breaths and st arting to shiver as the cold air rushed out of the vent. He grabbed the blanket at the bottom of the bed, covering us with the rough mate rial. "I love you." "I already knew that." I laughed as he started to tickle my sides. -He ad left by the time I woke up the next morning, though a letter was laying on his pillow with a ring found in any cracker-jack box resting at its corner: Marry Me? -The cheap-plastic ring was too big for my ring finger, so string had to be sacri ficed to be its cushion. I absolutely adored it and had yet to take it off since Friday morning and now, Sunday afternoon, was bouncing around the house, ready to show it to him and well make up three days worth of being together. They should be hiking back from the cabin right about now, if what Alice told me is to be believed. The phone rang, ceasing my giddy cleaning. Hello? I had to stop myself from singing out, maybe it was Edward telling me he wa s on the road heading back Bella?... Emmett? Why was Emmett calling me? Yes he was with Edward but normally he was the driver while Edward and Jasper had to make the calls, not trusting Emmett with s teering and holding electronic discussions. A long pause, just harsh breathing and a possible sob. My chest went cold. Emmett what s the matter? He was definitely sobbing My voice was higher than usual and br

I am so sorry it was all my fault

What are you talking about? Where is Edward? eathing was difficult.

... There was an accident He s gone The phone clattered to the floor as I stared blankly out the window not able to fe el my legs give way of the impact I made with the floor. Almost a Year Later "Miss Swan, it's almost midnight... You really can go home now." I managed a small smile up at the security guard, clicking off the screen to my laptop as I got to my feet and nodded towards the door. "I'm just on my way out. Just wanted to get all this wrapped up before going on vacation." A smile tilted up his handle bar mustache. "Alright." He motioned me out as I sh oulder my purse turned computer bag. "You take care now." "I will." "You deserve a break." He gave me a pat on the back as he ushered me out onto th e street. "Thanks." I managed another small smile as my heels clicked on the sidewalk, alm ost making me trip on the cracks spider-webbing down it, my apartment was only a few blocks away and it had taken Emmett over nine months to let me walk it at n ight. I have been living with him and Rose since... well for almost a year now. I kept telling them that I was fine at my house, and they kept insisting that I wasn't. It might be the fact that I refused to agree with them that Edward was dead. I would know if he was dead, I would feel my heart rip in two, and I would know if he was still alive. Which he was. A voice inside of me kept telling me so. Emmett's place had seven stories and no elevator. I took off my shoes, no use te mpting the fates to have me tumble down them... or get blisters. Also I didn't w ant to click Rose and Emmett awake. I was hoping for a silent entry and an equal ly silent exit tomorrow morning: the beginning of my summer long vacation. "Welcome back." Emmett saluted me with his mug of slightly steaming coffee as so on as the door creaked open. He had waited up... and he wasn't alone. "Yo." Jasper was leaning against the counter with his arms wrapped around Alice, who waved vigorously at me. "Hi!" "What took you so long?" Coming from Rose, that was a kind greeting. She hadn t be en very thrilled when I moved in. Yes, she agreed that I should live with someon e else, but she had hoped that it would be with Alice and Jasper. She hadn't fac tored in the magnitude of Emmett's guilt. I threw my shoes to the side of the door; I would put them away later. When I wa sn't so tired... of more things than one. "Just wanted to get all my work done b efore being gone for three months."

"Yeah... about that... are you sure you don't want us to come along?" I gave Emmett a light kiss on the head in passing, making my way towards the bat hroom. "No, I'd rather be by myself a bit... I mean, I love you all and am thank ful for all that you guys did to me... But I need some me time." "Understandable. Alice cut in before Emmett could say anything else on the matter. "Do you need a lift at least?" Jasper's low voice offered. I just shook my head and ducked into the other room. "I'll take the bus." "Remember to pack a cute bikini!" "Right on it Alice." I muttered, closing the door behind me. My robe was hanging on the back of the door, Emmett's and Rose's were on either side of the medicine cabinet. I pulled off my jacket, throwing it into the wicke r hamper, followed by my pants. A bit of silver peeked out against my pale skin as I unbuttoned my shirt. It was a thin chain, where the cracker-jack ring hung from. The others had been... concerned... when I refused to take it off. It got to the point that I just pretended to move on. Take the ring off the finger and hide it under my clothes. I never took the necklace off. It was the only thing that went with me everywher e. I was kind of worried that the plastic would soon wear away... maybe I should have it bronzed. Everyone was gone or, in Rose and Emmett's case, in bed. I walked over to the do or, snagging up my shoes, and made for the spare bedroom: my room. "They're worried about you." Alright, Rose was getting really good at sneaking up on me. She was at the table in the dark kitchen. "I know... I just need to clear my mind." Her shadowy form nodded as she got up. "I agree with Alice, you do need time alo ne. But, please, find whatever you are looking for while you are gone. Cause, se eing you like this, is eating Emmett alive." "I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention-" "I know, I'm not blaming you for this... I don't know what I would do if somethi ng like that happened to Emmett... You have been through more this year than mos t people should have to. I'm just worried about Emmett... He is carrying a heavy load of guilt on his shoulders-" "I never blamed him." She walked over to me. "No, you haven't... I guess, what I'm trying to say is... " She wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "I hope you have a good trip." I patted her back with uncertainly. This was far too human for Rose. "Thanks... Me too." --

The bus had left before dawn; I had been long prepared for it. Actually I had sh owed up at the station an hour before the departure time, the only person there for fifteen minutes with only the woman manning the counter. Then the gaggle of sorority girls came in... And the headache followed. Now I was one the rickety bus ride for the four hour drive that would take me to Crystal Coast... the same beach resort that Emmett had a cabin at, where I was going to crash for the next three months... where Edward had disappeared. Origin ally they were not going to let me go, but I wore them down with words and, when that failed, hunger strikes. I stared out the window, watching the scenery flash by, for about the first half an hour. Then I grew bored, being filled with restless anticipation. I don't kn ow why but I just knew something was going to happen while I was out there. So I pulled Pride and Prejudice from my backpack. A piece of news paper fluttered out. I just managed to catch it with my fingerti ps before it hit the dirty-watered floor. I had forgotten that this was here... Hiker Lost at Sea While on a camping trip, Edward Masen (26), fell off the Sanner trail and into t he south end of Cape Xander. He was accompanied by two other men, Jasper Whitloc k and Emmett McCarty. Search parties have been sent out, but it is believed that Masen is deaI folded the paper up, shoving it back into the confines of the novel. The novel went back into the bag and I took my IPod out instead. I don't know why I kept the article. I guess I couldn't tear myself away that ha d anything to do with Edward. So the morbid remind that the world believed him t o be dead remained. The scenery continued to fly by as Plumb's Cut blared into my ears. And hear Ali ce thought that she got rid of all my 'suicidal' music. Not that I was actually thinking about it. There was no point. Edward was alive. There was nothing on this Earth that would change my mind on the matter. I closed my eyes as I leaned my forehead against the warm glass. Hoping to dream about him once again... which I tended to do at least once a wee k. They were never the same in an exact way... all that is constant is the smell of the sea, or the feeling of sand between my toes... Hence the trip. Heart Attack The bus reached my destination by early evening, giving me just enough time to g ather up the carpenter's bag that I borrowed from Jasper and my book bag before heading off to find the trail that I would have to hike to get to the cabin befo re nightfall... Yeah.

There was a reason that Edward had never tool me on any woodland outings. Clumsy person plus nature always equals chaos. But that wasn't going to stop me from g etting up there, even if that meant that falling in the woods and getting a conc ussion... Maybe I should have taken Rose's advice three weeks ago and have gotte n my head checked. No. I can do this. I shoulder my carpenter s bag on one arm and carried my book bag by the top-short handle in my left hand. Now, if I remembered Emmett's directions correctly I had to take a left from the station, though the ridiculously small town, and passed the log station that th e park ranger lived. The trail should be to the south of the building. If only I knew which way was south... And I tripped the sidewalk on my first part of the journey: just getting out of the station. This was shaping up nicely. "Whoa there Miss..." Large hands gently grabbed my arms, keeping my upright as m y book bag fell to the ground. "You alright?" I looked up into black laughing eyes on a face of russet. "Yeah... just can't se em to be able to walk and think at the same time." The man laughed, reaching down to grab my discarded bag. Long strains of ebony f ell passed his shoulders as he bent his significant height. "I know that feeling all to well." He grinned up at me while he was still doubled over, made it easi er for me to look at him. "I take it that you're a tourist?" He offered my bag b ack to me as he gazed at the carpenter's bag dangerous tipping on my shoulder. "That obvious?" "No... Well yeah... You do tend to stick out." "Well thank-you for stopping me from getting any serious injuries before I actua lly hit the trail." "You're going hiking?" "Yep." "Which one?" "Sanner... I have a friend who has a cabin up there and he thought I might enjoy the peace and quiet." "There is a lot of that going on up there... which is where I live." I almost dropped my bag again, but kept my hold. I wasn't one to believe in coin cidences and this was far to strange to be anything but fate... maybe he knew so mething about"Are you hiking up there tonight?"

"That's the plan." "Would you like a lift?" "You can drive?" White teeth flashed against his darker skin. "Yes, have my license and everythin g." "No, I meant that there was a way to drive up Sanner?" "Not exactly, but there is a road that goes around the mountain and ends at the path that is a lot shorter and a good deal easier to maneuver. Though most peopl e prefer the invigorating hike up the trail instead of my cheating way." "I d really appreciate a ride, thank-you." Tomorrow I would investigate the place where Edward vanished... when I wasn't so exhausted. Who knew that a bus trip could take so much out of a person? I was s o tired to the extent that a few moments later I was willingly climbing into a c omplete stranger's red truck with wild abandonment. "I'm Bella, Bella Swan." I muttered around a yawn, managing to hold out my hand. A hand he wrapped his large, warm one around. "Jacob Black... But you can call m e Jake, everyone else does." "Do you live around here all year?" He smile as he pulled out the parking lot he had been parked in and merged into the nearly non-existent traffic. "Born and raised." "Do you know anything about the hiker who disappeared almost a year ago?" His eyes narrowed as he turned onto a back road, I was amazed that it was even p aved. "You a reporter?" "No... Just curious. I read about it in the paper." "There's really nothing to say, I was gone last summer... there was work up nort h and I really needed a job, so I don't know much." "Oh." "Sorry." "Don't be, like I said, I was just curious." My heart ached as the lie left my l ips. -I woke the next morning to the sound of bird calls and weak sunlight filtering i n through the blinds. My body ached, even to the pint that I winced in pain when I stretched and crept out of bed. This truly was a guy s cabin. I had stayed up till two in the morning just making the place livable. Cheese burnt into the microwave, food frozen to the fridge, t ar-like substances in the oven, mysterious stains on the rugs decorating the woo den floor, not a clean piece of cloth in sight (thank the heavens that Emmett ha d a clothes washer in the basement), dust everywhere with millions of spider web

s (though that just might be because no one had been here for almost a year), an d don t get me started on the bathrooms I was going to have nightmares for years fr om some of the things I saw in there. Jake, who apparently was my neighbor- meaning that he was less than a mile away, last night offered to give me a ride down to town when he went to work, but I h ad declined. Today I was going to explore on my own. Get a feel for the place and see where my feet lead me. Who knows, I may get lucky. I changed into a pair of ripped jeans and a sweater with its shoulders cut off w ith a tang-top underneath. Though it was the beginning of summer, spring still c lung to life with its crisp air that made me shiver slightly as I walked out of the cabin and into the fog-filled morning. A sign right across from the cabin marked the way down the mountain. I took the trail while munching on one of the granola bars I had the foresight to bring wit h me on my trip. Emmett s cupboards were bare and I had to buy some food. Note to self: buy food today. The trail was relatively easy to go down; I only stumbled a few times on loose r ocks and sticks as I hiked the mile and a half to the mountain s base. Though it t ook me longer than what it normally would have (I may be a klutz but I was in de cent shape) because I spent over a half an hour at the cliff that Edward had fal len off of, Holding onto the ring hanging on its chain and watching the waves cl ash against the sheer cliff side. He told us that morning that he asked you to marry him, that he left a note on y our pillow cause he was to nervous to say it to our face. Jasper and I were pick ing on him Well, me more than Jasper And it got out of hand. I pulled him into a h eadlock, giving him a noogie that would have given him a headache for days to co me, and he pushed out of my hold he lost his balance Bella I m so sorry Emmett, who had fought to remain strong during the entire narration, had broken down in sobs when he reached the end, begging for my forgiveness and at the same time begging me not to. He thought that he didn t deserve it. He had killed his b est friend. When I saw him like that I couldn t do anything but hug him and cry al ong. For a while he too hung to the hope that Edward was really alive, but after week s and months went by without word he gave up leaving me to hope alone. I kissed the ring before tucking it back into my shirt and continued down the pa th, reaching town fifteen minute later. Fifteen minutes I received a few odd looks from locals as I strolled down the sidewalk, looking into the shop windows and wondering where I should do my shopping at, and how el se to spend my morning. I wanted to go down to the beach later today but I would do that when the day was at its hottest, so I would probably do my shopping, go back to the cabin, and then return in the afternoon. I passed what looked like a promising store; it appeared to be a family owned gr ocery. The bell above the door chimed as I walked inside. Welcome! The woman behind the counter smiled at me from over the top of the old fa shion register. Anything I can help you with today? Nope, just looking around.

Alright. She returned to counting her money while I browsed the isles, grabbing wh atever looked tempting. My arms were filled with a variety of things, I had not thought of grabbing a ba sket when I had entered, as the bell chimed again. Welcome Well good morning Elliot, how is your mother? She made a very su

Good, A velvety voice that struck a cord in my mind called back, btle suggestion that I pick up some things during my lunch break. It s only nine in the morning. e store s front.

I could hear the woman laugh as I strolled towards th

A seductive chuckle, We re dead over at the caf, so I decided to sprint over here be fore the tourists decide to rage chaos Have I mentioned how much I hate the vacat ioning season? I think once or twice and it only just started. Great- The man was cut off as all my potential purchases collided with the store s w ooden floor. Green eyes under ragged bronze bangs met mine tear-brim ones and my heart stoppe d beating. Ordinary Day... UntilSpicy food on my tongue... Slim fingers combing my hair... A warm body next to m ine, a slender one that I was able to easily fir into my arms. She fit against m e as if she was some kind of missing puzzle piece to me seemingly perfect life.. . "Elliot! You're going to be late for work if you don't get up soon." My mom's voice jolted me awake, making me almost fall out of bed. She beat my al arm by thirty seconds... again. "Yeah... I'm up." I rubbed my head, my imaginati on still telling me that it hurt. It had been almost a year now, I had gone off for an early morning swim and hit my head off the rocks, yet I still, sometimes, experience the feeling of forgetting something important. The doctor told me that it was natural from someone who had suffered amnesia, th at I shouldn't worry over the matter. I wonder if he ever lost something that wa s a part of him before. It wasn't pleasant. I pulled on a pair of clean jeans and a random T-shirt, which happened to be one of the ones that the cafe actually gave me to wear. Though there really was no required uniform at Ross'. He just felt important by having shirt made with his place's name and logo printed on it. I stumbled into the bathroom, quickly brushing my teeth. The green of the shirt made my eyes more intense, which meant that there would be more tips for me. Wom en were suckers for guys with nice eyes. I rinsed my mouth, threw my toothbrush back into the ceramic mug, and climbed down the stairs of the small beach house to the tiny kitchen that my mother ruled over. She gave me a warm smile as I pul led up a chair at the rickety table, making her light eyes crinkle at the sides.

Sometimes I wondered how it was possible that she could be my, a twenty-five yea r olds, mother. Her hair's caramel color had yet to be touched by the years and there was barely a wrinkle on her heart-shaped face. "Thanks mom." I gave her a crooked grin as she passed me a plate of bacon and eg gs. "I do believe that I am the only guy my age who can proudly admit that he st ill gets a homemade meal everyone morning and mostly every night." "There's no shame in it." I took a sip of orange juice, stopping myself from starting the conversation tha t always hung over us. I wanted to move out and my mom didn't want me to. The accident really freaked her out. Apparently I was living away, just a few miles away from the cape, and, after lo sing my memories, I had to move back home for care. Now I was here to stay... at least for a bit longer. I just didn't know how to bring it up. "Are you going to be home for dinner tonight?" She lifted a delicate brow at me as she turned to start on the dishes. "I don't know, Tanya did hint on wanting to do something tonight." "Hmm-hmm." She didn't turn to look at me, just continued washing. "So, you will be gone all night." "Mom-" "I'm not as naive as you think I am... as long as you are... careful-" "I really don't want to hear this," I got to my feet and passed her my half-fill ed plate. "I have enough head problems." I teased, kissing her cheek. "I'm off t o make money." "Don't work too hard." "Same to you." I called over my shoulder as I opened the door and walked onto th e back porch. "Remember to pick up the groceries tonight, as long as I get them by morning we' ll be in good shape for this weekend's picnic. Town was only a fifteen minute walk from my house; there was no need to take the car when Mom was working a double at the hospital. I hummed a lullaby, which word was unknown to even me, as I strolled down the al most deserted road, enjoying it while it last. Tourist season was coming and it was the busiest time of the year for all of us. Or so I heard... I don't remember any of it.

The salty wind tussled my hair and clothes and m skin prickled, remembering the non-sensical dream of that morning. -One look at the cafe told me that we were dead. Ross, my flamboyantly gay boss, was sitting on the counter by the register singing 'She worked hard for the mone y' as my co-workers lazed about, not even pretending to look busy. "Elliot, how is my favorite guy!?" Ross jumped to his feet and made to hug me. I ducked out of the way. "So mean." He pouted, crossing his arms over his narrow chest. "Would it be alright if I hoped over to Stella's for some things for my mom?" "I think we can spare you for a few more moments, but be back in time for lunch. " I gave him a salute and went out the way I just entered from a few seconds befor e. The grocery was just down the street, barely a block and across the street. A s always, at this time in this morning, it was empty as the door chimed my entra nce. Welcome Well good morning Elliot, how is your mother? at the woman behind the counter. Stella was an old friend of of the people who helped take care of me when I firs woke She and my girlfriend, Tanya, were almost as close to me made a very subtle suggestion that I pick up some things du

Good, I smirked over my mother. She was one up after my accident. as my mother was. She ring my lunch break.

Her blue eyes sparkled at me, leaning over the counter to pass me the paper that she knew that I was going to want. It s only nine in the morning. I chuckled as I took the offered paper. We re dead over at the caf, so I decided to sprint over here before the tourists decide to rage chaos Have I mentioned how mu ch I hate the vacationing season? I think once or twice and it only just started. Great- My rant, about how I hated people who thought only of their comforts and no thing about the working class laboring away to keep their needs satisfied, was i nterrupted by the sound of numerous cardboard boxes hitting the floor. A young woman, who had been hidden from view in between the isles. Great, I unknowingly insulted a potential customer. She was a slender brunette, with her hair in a messy bun and dressed in hat Tanya would rather die than be seen in. She was also far paler than n I ever seen, living at the sea shore my entire life. The ivory of her e her chocolate-brown eyes stand out. Eyes that were brimmed with tears ust stared at me. Wow, she upset easily. "Hey... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it." Her lips moved for two syllables, but her voice was too weak for me to make it o ut. She swallowed a visible lump in her throat and tried again. I could feel Ste things t any woma skin mad as she j

lla leaning over the counter once more, as confused as I was. "...Edward..." Tears spilled over her high cheekbones as she took a step towards me. "Edward!" She threw herself into my arms before my brain could register wha t was going on Her full lips pressed against my startled ones. "Whoa... whoa!" I pushed her off of me, untangling her arms from around my neck, and trying to ignore the pleasant way my lips tingled after that brief peck. An d backing away from her seductive arms. "You can't go around throwing, literally throwing, yourself at complete strangers and-" "Edward... what are you talking about... It's me." She made to hold me again, I took another step back. "I don't know who you are... And my name isn't Edward, whoever he is." More tears spilled down her cheeks. I don't know why but I hated the sight. It w as completely heart wrenching. "You're... You're not-" "His name is Elliot Evenson." Stella's voice was colder than usual and her eyes were sheer ice. I got chills from her gaze, and it wasn't directed towards me. "No..." She shook her head, making long strains of brown satin hair fall across her face. "He's Edward Masen." Her eyes remained steady on mine despite the tear s. "Don't you remember? You went away with-" "I think you better leave." Stella's voice was hard and full of foreign harshnes s. "This man has been through enough without some trollop making a fool of herse lf over him." It was only then that she looked back at Stella. "I-I don't understand... I'm no t... I know him from before... I-" She fumbled with something hidden under her c lothes. "Should leave." I made my voice gentle. 'At least you can calm yourself down. Cl early this is one big misunderstanding. I'm sorry, but I'm not the man you are l ooking for. I was born and raised here, barely ever left the place." I held the door open for her to walk into the dim morning sun; she followed my advice as if her body was on auto-pilot. "Edward-" "Isn't me." I hardened my voice only enough to get the point across to her. I di dn't know what she was talking about or why she was mistaking me for some random guy, but it was clear that this young woman had been through a good deal, maybe even more than me, and I had just crushed the slight bit of hope she had, if on ly for an instant. "Go back to wherever you are staying a rest." She mutely nodded; the light leaving her eyes, as she walked passed me and turne d onto the sidewalk, heading towards the woods. So she was a camper. "Can you believe the nerve of some girls?' Stella Tsked as she leaned back into her cushioned stool behind the counter. "Pretending to know you just to get clos e." "I don't know... She seemed to be genuinely confused."

"Well just stay away from her. There's no point in her being in more pain than s he is, if her confusion is actually legit. And, if she is faking, you better sta y away from her even more so. Girls like that, building relationships in their h eads at first sight, are dangerous." "I can handle myself against a small, broken woman." She looked at me over the top of the tabloid she took from the pile in front of her. "You just got the confusion in your head worked out. There is no need to th row is into chaos again over an albino tourist. Now get back to work." Planning... and Panicking My world was crashing around me. Edward was alive... And he had no idea who I was. Clearly this is one big misunderstanding. I'm sorry, but I'm not the man you are looking for. I was born and raised here, barely ever left the place... He thought he was some guy names Elliot... And the town seemed only to encourage this. Hadn't they seen the newspaper articles and news reports over his disappe arance? I wasn't mistaken. I wasn't delusional. He was my Edward. He had his voice... His eyes... His smile... His scent... He was Edward. These thought rolled through my mind as I trekked up the path, back towards Emme tt's cabin. Empty handed and forgetting everything but the fact that he was here . Everything else had faded from my senses. Even time ceased to truly exist. I hiked the trail in no time, feeling as if I had only started when I reached my destination. Emmett had an old-school rotary phone in the cabin. Thank God, because I had lef t my cell at the apartment, wanting to be completely alone this summer. If only I had taken Emmett up on his offer of coming up with me. We could have this situ ation worked out already. Or, at least, Edward's massive best friend could have knocked him out and tied him up till he was willing to listen to reason... Alright, that was a bit extreme. Breathe Bella, remember to breath. A failure to do so will only lead to fainting , and that will do no good for anyone at the moment. Faint after making your cal

l. "Hello?" "Emmett-" "Bella! Are you alright? Did something happen? Do you need me to-?" "Yes, yes, and yes- but only if you are offering to come here." He noted the disconnected tine in my voice. "Bella, what happened?" "He's here." "Who's there?" "Edward... He's alive and here-" His gruff voice became gentle, or as gentle as it could. "Bella... I know that y ou want that to be true, we all do, but there comes a time-" "I saw him, talked to him-" "...Then put him on the phone and let him explain where he has been for the last year." His voice was controlled to a frightening level. Maybe I shouldn't have called... He had been through so much in the last year; he didn't need me rubbin g his emotional wounds with salt. But I couldn't stop my voice from escaping through my lips. "He doesn't remember anything... He doesn't know who he is. He thinks he's some guy named Elliot-" "He very well maybe some guy named Elliot who you want to be Edward... Bella, yo u need to let this go and move on." "I know it's Edward, if you would only come up here you would see it to. He has amnesia-" "And why hasn't anyone called the police about him? We did all that we could to make sure that word of his disappearance was all over the news." "I know... I know... but I also know that he is Edward. Just come up here." If a nyone should be here with me, to help me jolt Edward's memory, it was Emmett, wh o was closer to Edward than any of his other friends. "I can't." "You can't? You just offered to come up to see me not five minutes ago." "When I thought you were in danger... Listen, Bella, I'm pulling three doubles a t the garage this week and... Frankly, we need to money." "But-" My voice caught in my throat. I had been so sure that Emmett would believ e me. If he didn't no one would. He sighed; I could see him rubbing the bridge of his nose in my mind's eye. "... I'll try to get someone to cover for me... If not, by the latest, I'll come up this weekend, with the others, and take a look at the guy. Until then, don't be making a nuisance of yourself or causing trouble. We have to be practical about this, cause good chances are that this guy is just someone who resembles Edward. "

I never thought I would see the day that Emmett of all people would talk about h aving to be practical. It kind of hurt... I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Alright... I guess I'll see you on Friday ni ght." "Yeah, and Bella, if this doesn't work, if this guy isn't him, please promise me that you will come back with us. You shouldn't be alone right now... I should h ave never allowed you to go up there by yourself." "It is him. I'm not crazy." "I'll see you on Friday." Emmett hung up. His voice had sounded like he was fighting back either a sob or extreme anger. I had a feeling it was the former of the two. Why didn t I have to keep hurting him so much? But Edward was still alive and, though I hared myself for thinking it, I didn't care who I hurt to get him back. I would make my amend s once everything was straightened up and back to normal. I only had to wait about six more days for that to happen. What was I going to do till then? My stomach growled... Well, can't think on an empty stomach... Which reminded me that I still had to b uy food, and it looked like I was less than welcomed in the town's grocery store ... Well, best way to keep my mind off of Edward being less than two miles away woul d be to keep my body busy. I pulled out gh them till ntly located the east. I me. the pile of maps that Emmett kept in the cabin's desk, I found one that showed the surrounding area, not only town. There was a slightly larger town about ten miles looked at the clock on the wall; it was only eleven... routing thou the convenie from here to plenty of ti

I went into the bedroom, grabbing my book bag from the corner, sun block and a w ater bottle was inside, along with my sunglasses and IPod from the nightstand. I could buy food and be back by nightfall... And I could work things out on the way. Yes, it was on an empty stomach... but if I had the time I shouldn't waste it. I locked the front door before getting off the porch and starting on the eastwar d trail, sticking my earplugs in and putting the IPod on shuffle mode. Now, would it be better to outright assault him... Or should I ease myself into his life...? -Proper Introductions Ten mile hikes, for the coordinately challenged, was no fun. As I realized hours later when I returned from home with enough food that would get me for the next six days... Which were soon going to be five. The sun was kissing the horizon a

s I started to unpack my book bag full of supplies. I so didn't want to be cooped up in the cabin right now... I wanted to be with E dward... Who didn't know who he really was. I threw the box of Easy-Mac into the rickety cupboard and slammed the door shut, making it almost fall off its hinges. The depression was starting to kick in. During the entire, hellish walk to and from the other town I had planned and replanned and then started from fresh over how to approach the matter. I had come up with numerous options and possibilities as to how I should approach him... An d none of them would have worked. If only I could just re-do how we originally met. But the town seemed to be with out a subway for me to almost fall in front of. So, I would have to come up with something else. Jumping him seemed to not be a good idea. I tried that once already, it had been innocent at the time, and it failed. I leaned against the counter, just watching the sun set as my brain ran through possibilities. A more subtle approach would probably have a higher success rate, but it seemed extremely under-handed to me... Yet, it would be worth it is the end result was him remembering me... I chewed my lower lip. I had to get out of this cabin. At least during the hike I had music blaring into my ears and my brain, while it was working on how to get my Edward back also had been concentrating on how to maneuver the path without tripping on rocks and roots. The despair had been held at bay while I had remained busy. I took my IPod out of my back pocket, shoving the earphones back into my ears, a nd hurried out the door with only my sweater as a means to stay warm against the evening air. I was halfway down the path before I realized where I was heading. I had wanted to go to the beach today. No use of postponing those plans just bec ause of... Well, life alternating experiences always deserve a quiet night by th e sea. I made it down the path in no time, only able to get through two songs and the i ntroduction of another. I turned away from the main street, it would only be my luck to run into the sho p keeping Nazi guard and being run out of time, sliding on some gravel scattered on the sidewalk and almost skidding into the evening traffic, all twelve of the cars hurrying home. A hand grabbed my arm; pulling me back to me feet and making me stumble against a hard chest. "Whoa... that would've been a nasty fall."

For the second time that I day heard a voice that had been denied to me for the last year. I slowly turned to face him. His amazing green eyes glimmered down at me. Now wa s the time for me to pick with approach to us. "Um... Thanks." "I don't think we got to be properly introduced." He held out his hand. How I lo ng to jumped into his arms. "I'm Elliot." I forced a smile. "So I hear." I took the hand, fighting back tears that the fam iliar touch was going to induce into my eyes. Subtle had won. "I'm Isabella, Bel la... Bella Swan. And I am so sorry about this afternoon." He was the first one to let go, my heart ached for him. "It's alright, If I coul d have a dollar every time a girl threw herself into my arms while thinking I'm someone else I would have... a dollar." My laughter was genuine... though that might be me sheer joy of being in his pre sence once again. "I could always give you a dollar." He started walking with me down the road; clearly his house was some where in th is direction. "No, that would make me feel like a stripper." He looked at me fro m the corner of his eye. "Would you mind my asking what exactly happened to this 'Edward' of yours?" I shrugged, trying to keep my gestures casual. "It's alright... He died about a year ago... Fell into the ocean not to far from here..." He stopped. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I turned to face him again, trying not to let him out of my sight whenever it co uld be helped. "It's alright... I should be the one apologizing... you just look so much like him." "It's alright... The mind is a funny thing. It sees what it wants to see, believ es what it wants to believe." He started walking again; I fell back into step wi th him, yearning to take his hand. "Or so my mother says." "She sounds like a wise woman." "She's a psychologist." "Must have been fun growing up like that." He flashed me his crooked grin. I forced myself not to cry. "I watched everythin g I said, didn't want her to over analyze anything that I said." I laughed again, this time it was more forced. There was no way that I could thi nk kindly of the woman who stole Edward from me. "And I thought it was bad growi ng up with a cop for a dad." Edward... Elliot... winced. "That's harsh. Was the drain-pipe outside your windo w your best friend?" Bella, which could be nothing... one statement based off a clich doesn't mean he remembers you. "Yes, at times... But I moved away when I was eighteen and went t o live in the city while going to school." "I still live with my mom... Thought it's not for some pathetic reason like I ju st don't want to get a real job or something like that. I did move away, once, b

ut then had an accident." "What kind of accident." "Hit my head of some rocks and needed to be spoon fed my memories back to me by my mom and some close friends." I thought I was going to hurl. How could these people simply brainwash a memorychallenged man for, seemingly, no good reason. What? Did this 'mom' of his just want to have a son and saw her golden opportunity? How sick and twisted could sh e be? And how could the town just go along with it? But I just gave him a kind smile. "There's no shame in living at home. I think i t's kind of sweet." "My girlfriend doesn't see it that way; she wants me to move in with her and... are you alright?" I hand to lean against a nearby light post, fighting back the need to empty my s tomach. Girlfriend?! I spent a year of my life thinking only of him... And he was here... With some b each bunny. Yes, that was unkind of me. I didn't care at the moment. "Sorry... Just light headed..." "Do you need to see a doctor?" I brushed off his hand, shaking my head. "No... Just need to lay down... Um, I s hould go back up to my cabin." "The cabins are over a mile hike... Do you want some company?" God yes, but my heart could probably not take it. "No... I'll be fine..." "Bella?" A voice called from the street, a truck pulled up along side of us as t he driver leaned out the window. It was Jacob Black. "Hey Elliot." "Hey Jake... You two know each other?" "Her cabin in next to mine." "Could you take her home? She's not feeling so well." At least he still likes to make decisions without asking me. I wonder if he did the same for his girlfriend. Jake popped the passenger door open. "Sure, get in." Happily. I wanted to get home and puke. "It was nice meeting you Bella." Edward called after me as I climbed in. "Same here." I managed to get out, along with a smile. Though not opening my mou th wide enough to tempt my heaving stomach. "See you around?"

"Definitely." Once I'm allowed to be sick and cry myself to sleep. "Alright then... I work at the cafe on Miller." I nodded in understanding as Jake merged back into traffic, as Edward started to begin walking again. The beach would have to wait for another, less confusing day. Whenever that would be... Something Not Right I turned around, watching as the truck drove down the street. I could see Bella' s dark hair leaned against the window. For some reason I just didn't like the id ea of her going off with Jake... Why was that? I mean she was beautiful... Gorgeous smile, tiny waist, long legged, and her bre asts... I had a girlfriend... I had a girlfriend... I had a girlfriend.... A girlfriend who was waiting for me at her house. I had given Stella mom's list and she had promised to drop the items off on her way home, seeing that she is l ived next door. So, mom was taken care of and I needed to get over to Tanya's. There was only one more block between me and the townhouse. I let myself in, she never locked her door. I had to remind her, again, to start using the lovely de vice that kept unwanted people out of the house. Though, she always rolled her e yes when I started this conversation with her, reminding me that she was a third -degree black belt and this was a small town. I reminded her that the town that In Cold Blood took place in had been a small t own as well. "You're late." She called over to me as I walked into entrance way, strolling be tween the kitchen and into the dining room as she started to set the table. "Sorry, dinner rush was crazy. I was conned into staying to help for another hou r." I kicked off my shoes and walked into the kitchen, leaning against the count er as she hurried about. "Didn't have time to call." "Whatever." She stopped in her pacing long enough to lean over and peck my lips. "At least your here now, while the food is still hot." "Hot? Are we having spicy food?" Tanya cocked an eyebrow. "No, it's just chicken and rice... You don't like spicy food..." I kissed her again as I made to walk into dining room, taking my seat as she wen t into the fridge and grabbed two bottles of beer. "Yeah... I know..." I rubbed forehead. "Just... For some odd reason I've been dreaming about gumbo and chili. " "Gumbo and Chili?" She sat down across from me, starting to serve the food. "Sin ce when have you been a fan?"

"I have no idea... Weird dream." I took a bite into the food she had just passed me. It tasted blain... Why was that? I usually loved Tanya's cooking... Alright , maybe not love her cooking. But I always liked it... "Everything alright?" She titled her head at me as she took a sip of her beer. "Yeah... why wouldn't I be?" "You just seem distant tonight." Her blue eyes widened for a moment. "You talked to your mom didn't you?" "I tried to this morning... But I just couldn't." She sighed, looking away from me. Her mass of strawberry-blond hair swayed in pe rfect waves. "I know that you don't want to hurt her... But it s been a year since your accident, you need to move out and get on with your life." She waved her f ork between the two of us. "We need to get on with our lives." "Yeah... So you tell me." I took another bite of the chicken, still blain. Her e yebrows grew dangerously close together. A dangerous sign. Time to change subjec ts. "So... Mentioning moving on with life. I met this woman today in your mom's store, and then just on the street, who mistook me for her boyfriend." "Really?" She looked at me over the candles she had lit. "And what does that hav e to do with moving on?" "Well, it turns out that her boyfriend died a year ago..." Her eyes grew sharper. "Really, that's awful." "Yeah, I think she's here for the summer, living up in the cabin area... I don't think she knows many people around here." "So, you thought you could befriend her... Even though she seems to be delusiona l and mentally imbalanced." "Why would you say that? She's just a grieving young woman-" "Who jumped a guy in a public store." "So... Your mom called you..." And I was in deep trouble. "So you ran into her after your shift?" Her voice was controlled... which only t old me how deep I was in. "She almost fell into traffic, I had to help her." Tanya slowly nodded. "And then Jake showed up and took her home." Hopefully that would save me... Tho ugh, once again, the thought of her with Jake sort of made me feel uncomfortable ... Actually it made me feel really uncomfortable. The tension in her features softened as she nodded. "Good... I think Jake is a g ood person for her to hang around." "For all female tourist to hang around." I muttered, before taking a swig. "Elliot-"

A held up a hand, stopping her before the potential fight settled in. "I'm sorry , I just really don't like the guy. And, yes, I feel a bit protective of this gi rl. She just seems so venerable and... Lost. I just don't think she needs some g uy hitting on her and trying to get in her pants." "And she doesn't need some townie fathering her. And Jake isn't as bad as you wa nt him to be. Actually, you two normally get along... Where is all this hostilit y coming from?" "No where..." I absently played with my food, having no appetite. "Just had a ba d day." She put her fork down, walking over to me. "Well, in that case." She straddled m e onto my chair. "How about I help you with that." Her full lips came down to me et mine. She tasted like vanilla and cinnamon. She had perfect curves, her breas ts pressed against my chest and her hips filled my hands... The smell of flowers overtook me... Slim hips... Small waist... Long legs... Rip ped jeans and a plain T-shirt... Not Tanya... Why was I fantasying about someone who wasn't Tanya? Especially when I was makin g out with Tanya... I gently pulled away from Tanya. During my little black-out she had relieved me of my T-shirt "What's the matter?" "Nothing..." I blinked, my head suddenly throbbing. "Just tired... I guess..." She kissed my forehead, her hands rubbing my shoulders. "How about you go take a shower... We'll pick this up later." She climbed off my lap. "Tanya... Sorry... My head is killing me." I got of the chair, kissing her one m ore time. Lingering so she knew I still adored her. "I'll feel better once I get the smell of fried chicken off of me." She grinned, running her hand down my abs. "Too bad, I kind of find it sexy." "Hold that thought." I bit her earlobe as I made for the stairs. I half expected to hear the stumbling of feet and the clashing of plates... Whic h was ridiculous. Tanya was the most graceful woman I knew. Awkward Last night had been terrible. Terrible! I had almost started to bawl the moment Jake had pulled away from the curb, away from Edward. But I had managed to keep myself together during the drive to Jake s and on the run to the cabin. Then I cried myself to sleep. All this time I was so sure that Edward was still alive, despite what everyone e lse told me... And now that I found him, I wished I had been the one to die that

day. The pain would probably be more bearable. Yes, he didn't remember me, which hurt enough, so I shouldn't feel this stabbing pain every time that I remembered that he had a new girlfriend... No, Elliot had a girlfriend... I looked myself in the mirror as I washed my face. The swelling on my eyes had g one down and they were only lined with slight pink. My hair was limp, which I ca relessly pulled into a sideways ponytail, and my face was a bit paler than even its usual ivory. A knock echoed through the cabin. Who the Hell would come to see me? Emmett? Would he knock on his own cabin's door? I shrugged, stumbling out of the bathroom. "Coming... Whoever you are." I said t he last part to myself. Then my mind went blank and I stopped midway through the living room. Just staring. I had left the main door open during the night, trying to get a breeze into the stuffy cabin. And, at the other side of the screen door, stood Edward's lean for m. "Good morning." He leaned his forehead against the screen, shielding his eyes fr om the morning sun so he could see inside. "Oh... Um... Morning." I managed to find my voice, walking over to the screen to flick the feeble metal hook, which served lock, away and opened the door. "Come on in." He walked in, his green eyes noting my rolled-up boxers and the halter-top that I slept in. "Um... Sorry for coming over to early. I got your cabin number from Jake-" I held up a hand, blood rushing to my face. "Just give me one second to change." Then I ran into the bedroom, tripping over the threshold, and kicked the door s hut as I stubbed to my feet. I pulled on the first things that come in contact w ith my hands. Which ended up being ripped jeans with a white tang top onto of my bikini top. Maybe I would have time, and be in the mood, to go down to the shor e today. I hadn't brought any of my good, non-ratty, clothing along with me. Now I wished I had thought to bring something nice... and a bit sexy... with me. Ho w was I supposed to know that he would be here, and with amnesia? "Sorry about that," I muttered, face was probably still crimson, as I walked bac k into the living room. Edward was standing exactly where I had left him... And looking very uncomfortable. "No... My fault for coming by so early." He mussed his hair. "I was just wonderi ng if you would like to go to a picnic at my house this afternoon." A picnic... at his house... will his girlfriend be there..."

The sick and twisted part of me wanted to see the woman 'Elliot' was in love wit h. "Um..." "Hey, no pressure. I just thought, seeing that you really don't know anyone up h ere... And I really don't like the idea of a young woman just staying up here, b y herself, all the time... But if you don't want to-" "No, no. I would love to go. I just didn't expect to be invited anywhere on my s econd day here." He just shrugged. Clearly not knowing what to say. "So... Where do you live?" "Oh... Would you like to just come with me now?" My turn to shrug. "Sure." -He lived in a house on the town's outskirts, in the opposite direction of the wa y he was walking yesterday- which gave my gut a twist... Did he go to his girlfr iend's house to spend the night? Edward, maybe I should start calling him Elliot... don't see that happening thou gh... led me onto the back porch and into a small, neat kitchen. "Hey, Mom!" He called towards a brought someone for the picnic! ached my ears as a woman walked s dressed in simple jeans and a her into a casual one-arm hug. night..." stairwell right outside of the kitchen door. "I Come down and say hi!" The sound of footsteps re down the stairs and breezed into kitchen. She wa T-shirt and smiled as Edward... Elliot... pulled "Mom, this is Bella... I told you about her last

I didn't want to like this woman; she's the one who took Edward from me. Yet, as she smiled at me, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. "Hello." She held out a slender hand to me. "I'm Esme." Her brown eyes were a bi t sad as I took her hand. "Bella, nice to meet you." Her smile grew. "Like wise." I indicated the kitchen, food was everywhere. "Would you like some help?" "Yes..." She looked over at her 'son' with mild surprise. "That would be nice." I managed to smile; it was the best way to keep the tears at bay. "What would yo u like me to do?... I'm a decent cook." "Well," She motioned over to a pile of vegetables. "Could you handle the salad?" "Sure..." I walked over to counter, looking at the produce. "And, Elliot, could you start on the potatoes?" "Sure mom." He grinned over at me, sitting down at the table, where a mountain o

f potatoes waited to be pealed. I looked at Esme from where she was filling a cooler with ice. "Would you mind i f I added jalapeos?" Edward looked up from the potato in his hand. "You like spicy food?" "A bit, I like a little zing in my food." "I don't see a problem with that." Esme nestled a bottle of Coke into the ice, f ollowing that with Sprite. "Elliot, when is Tanya coming over?" Before Edward could answer the front door opened and a blond goddess, who would rival Rosalie in beauty, strolled into the kitchen. She, I'm guessing that she was Tanya, placed two plastic bags onto the counter. "I brought the chips. Mom is going to be here in an hour or two..." Her green-bl ue eyes met mine. And her smile became forced. "I'm sorry; I don't think we've m et." "Oh..." Edward's eyes got big. Someone was in trouble. "This is Bella-" "The girl from the store?" Her eyes became colder. Her smile was scary. "Nice to meet you. I heard that you caused quite the stir yesterday." My face heated-up again. A part of me was embarrassed over being there... And an other part of me was a bit angry at Edward. He always told me that I was his ide al, and yet, first chance he got with a clean slate; he hooks up with Malibu Bar bie. "Yeah... In the store... Sorry about that..." She walked over to Edward, leaning down to give him a kiss that seemed to linger longer than a normal 'hello' kiss should. "Don't worry about it." Her perfectly manicured hand rested on Edward's shoulder as he continued with the potatoes. Her message was clear: stay away from her things. Frosty Picnic "I don't see why you brought her here... I thought you said you would leave her be for the time being..." Tanya's breath hissed on my neck as I started to set-u p the tables. She was standing right behind me, a folding chair in each hand, an d was in danger of colliding with me and causing some major injuries. "I couldn't just leave her alone, not when she doesn't know anyone-" "Yes you could have. You only knew the girl for a day and you are already bringi ng her back here." "I'm just being friendly... and I think mom likes her." Tanya sighed, leaning against the table just put up as I started to unfold the c hairs, lining them up along the table's edge. "That really isn't the point." "Then what is the point? Do you honestly think I would cheat on you?" "No, of course not, I'm just worried about her." "She's hardly the serial killing type." "But she is definitely fond of you. She kept sneaking glances over at you the en

tire time we were in the kitchen." I looked up from my work, brows pulling together in question. "Really?" Tanya slowly nodded. "Really." "Maybe there was something on my face." I rubbed my smooth chin while she groane d. "What happened to letting Jake show her around and making her feel welcomed?" "I invited him-" "Then why didn't you let him pick her up?" I shrugged, finger-combing my hair. "I really don't know. That was my original i ntention... But then I was asking her to come down with me before my brain was a ware of the words coming out of my mouth." She just gave me the look , the look that told me that I was going to be sleeping b y myself tonight. We better get back inside before my mom gets here. She might ve rbally bitch-slap your little friend on contact if someone isn t there to explain. She s harmless, just a girl who lost a loved one and who needs friends at a time li ke this. Tanya snorted as we climbed the stairs of the back porch. Then why isn t she at her home with them? Tanya, I rounded to face her. Please behave yourself today. I think you and your mo m are blowing this way out of proportion. Out of proportion? What the hell, if I m in the doghouse as it was why not be thorough in it. And I f ound myself getting actually angry at her for her words and comments about Bella . She s not the whore of Babylon. So stop treating her like she s going to start stri pping on the tables at any moment. Seriously, I thought you, of all people, woul d be mature and welcoming to her Especially after the scare we had last year. My v oice had turned into a soft hiss near the end as I opened the door and walked in to the empty kitchen. Tanya tried to say something to me as I crossed over the threshold. But I found myself ignoring her. Irrational fear filled my mind at Bella s absence and visions of Stella s wrath over the young woman filled my mind. Bella?... I knew mom was pro bably upstairs getting dressed for the picnic. Laughter came from the living room. Leaving Tanya in the kitchen, I went into the next room, where my mom was showin g my new acquaintance our family pictures. The living room s walls were covered wi th pictures of me through the years, with random frames positioned on the mantle and other various surfaces. I groaned when I saw the picture in Bella s pale hands. It was when I was eleven. Like most of the tales behind the room s pictures I only remembered bits they told me. This one was taken at my grandfather s ranch. You were so cute. Bella smiled over at me. Once more a emotion flickered over her face as she looked at me. I couldn t pin-point what it was exactly, but I always h

ad to fight back the sudden urge to gather her in my arms and hold her when I sa w her look at me that way if even for a moment. I fought the impulse back, walking over to look over her shoulder at where my mo ther had me in the prison of the slender arms as we sat on the porch s swing. I was sunburned Which is odd because I never burn now. You re skin toughened over the years. Mom squeezed my shoulder and nodded towards th e kitchen. And it is time to finish getting ready. Bella put the photo back on the coffee table and followed mom and me back into t he other room. Stella was there. She just glared at Bella as she and Tanya muttered to themselves in the corner, putting the chips in a bowl and putting cheese and crackers on a plate. But neit her said anything to Bella, a glare from me made sure of that. Yes, my bed would be cold tonight, but that was better than letting them bully Bella about. Something inside of me told me that it was important to protect her Why was that? -The party was in full swing. Stella was periodically glaring at me. Tanya was still not talking to me. Mom was oblivious to it all as she went strolling about our guests. One of them being Jacob Black, who had been hanging at Bella s side ever since he had arrived. I couldn t stop myself from glaring at him with ever oh-so-subtle touch of her han d and shoulder. I was constantly reminding myself that I had no reason to jump o ver there and snatch her away, to keep my by my side for the remainder of the pa rty. I had a girlfriend . I had a girlfriend that I loved I hated the fact that I had to remind myself who my real girlfriend was. I had o nly known her for a day and she was intoxicating my every thought, and that was unforgivable no matter how beautiful she was. I kept telling myself I should leave her be, let her have fun for Jacob and leav e her in his hands. But it was his hands, and where they were, that kept me drif ting over in their direction, finding ways to start casual conversation. At night s end I wanted to kick him for offering to take Bella home and was so enr apt in what could happen on that drive back, or what could happen afterwards, th at I didn t even notice Tanya s glares or icy remarks. I just climbed the stairs and went to bed. Tanya wasn t the last thought in my mind. Instead as I drifted off to sleep I coul dn t help but think of Bella in her boxers and halter-top. My dreams that night were filled with that nameless lullaby playing through my m

ind and the sound of a straining engine Beach

some kind of truck was dying somewhere

Morning came, my second since coming here, and I just laid in bed, staring at th e ceiling and at a complete lost. Not only was Edward with a blond that would gi ve Rose a run for her money, but he also had the loving and nurturing mother he had been denied mostly all his life. His had died when he was barely old enough to remember her, and his father hadn't lasted must longer. He had been raised by Emmett's dad and he once confined in me, during our third date and after a few drinks, that he always wished he had know what it would have been like having a mother. Now he had one. One who was clinging to the lie that he was her Elliot. I must admit that the resemblance was remarkable. I had almost rethought my enti re certainty that he was in fact my Edward. Elliot had looked very much like Edw ard. Only after looking very closely at the numerous photos that ranged through all the years of Elliot's life did I notice that where Edward's eyes were emeral d green Elliot's had been more on the leaf side. Elliot's hair had been more aub urn than bronze and he was more skinny than Edward's tone muscular body. But the most note-worthy point was the fact that the Elliot in the photos had a straigh t smile while the man who talked to me all afternoon had a crooked one. He was my Edward alright. But none of this would stick in a court of law... The resemblance was there and that was all Esme needed to develop this entire th ing into her head. I found myself pitying her and wondering if I would have done the same if our pl aces were switched I would probably cling to her Elliot and try to convince him that he was my Edward. Heart ache was a terrible thing to have to bear. I finally got out of bed and took a long shower. I had already what I was today. No matter what I was going down to the beach and soak in the rays, oak them in from under some cover or at least a heavy layer of sunscreen, ad a book. I needed to just relax and clear my mind... And go to the cafe late lunch and see if Edward was working. doing well s and re for a

I changed into my bikini, putting on a pair of cut-offs and a tang-top over, and grabbed my bag. I was down at the beach within a half an hour, despite all the near death experiences I had on the way, and was greeted with the beach being al most completely deserted. Perfect. I claimed a spot near the surf shop, rubbing on lotion before the sun got to hot , and watched the waves roll in. I was high enough that high tide wouldn't affec t me at all. I would hate to have to pack up and move to another place once it g ot crowded. I would probably end up tripping over some up, falling on my face, a nd losing my top in one embarrassing movement. I meant to read my trashy romance, a guilty indulgence if there was ever one, bu t I made the mistake of laying on my stomach, pillowing my head on my folded arm s, and ended up falling asleep instead. I dreamt of him... A memory of the only time we went to the beach together. We had gone with Emmett and the others to Hawaii when Alice had won a contest on the radio. She had mas

sacred all of the other contestants who thought they knew their designers. While all the others had gone off to dinner Edward and I had went for a late night st roll on the beach. We told them that we would catch up with them in a bit... The whole clich scene was perfect: full moon, carrying our shoes, water lapping. His lips had tasted like salt and sweat as he pulled me to him... And we barely made it back to the room with our clothes on... To say the least, we ended up ca lling in for room service and spending the rest of the week in bed. It had been our first time together, but I had known I loved him long before tha t. We moved in together as soon as we got back into our hometown. "...Bella..." I woke up to tears rolling down my cheek and onto my towel and looking up into J ake's black eyes. "Hello." I muttered, rubbing my eyes. If anyone asked I had sand in them. "Fancy seeing you here." "I work here." He motioned down to his white life guard shirt with pride. I managed a smile as I climbed to my feet, dusting off my short from sand that h ad managed to cling to me and began looking for where I had placed my tang-top. "What time is it?" "A little before one." Wow, I had been out for a long time. Of course I had only gone to sleep last nig ht after crying my eyes out and then contemplating where to go from there, picki ng up at that thought as soon as I woke up. Of course I would be a bit exhausted . "That's m cue to get some food." "Want some company?" I lifted an eyebrow. "I thought you were working?" His smile grew. "It's my break, that's why I came over here. I was wondering if you wanted to go to get some food with me." "Sure, is the cafe alright? I heard their food is delicious." He just shrugged, motioning for me to proceed as he fell into step at my side. We talked about practically nothing on the way there. Only stupid little matters of small talk. A skinny man called a greeting at us from the cafe's counter as we entered the c ute French doors. I liked the place right away and couldn't help but smile at th e man. My guess was that he was Ross. "Hello!" He skipped from around the counter and winked at Jake. "Long time no se e big boy--" Jake's jaw clenched. "I swear I will sock you if you don't cut that out." I hope he was just picking, or at least partially kidding.

Ross just smiled and looked over at me. I love it when he speaks dirty... And yo u, my dear, are just too adorable. How long are you going to be in town?" I answered "Just for the summer" as Jake muttered. "Don't tell him". Ross put his hands on his hips and pouted up to Jake. "So mean." Then he was smi ling at me once more. "If your going to be here for a while, and want some spare money, I need to redo some of the ads for the place and you would be the perfec t model." I held back a snort. "Thank-you for the offer, but I'm going to have to turn it down. I'm really not the modeling type." His pout returned. I felt as if I had just kicked a puppy. "Don't hassle the woman." Edward come out from the blocked off kitchen area, wip ing his hands on the half-apron tied around his waist. His smile made me go weak at the knees. "Hey Bella." His smile shifted a bit as he looked at my companion . "Jake." Jake just nodded back to Edward. Ross just watched the exchange in interest. He probably noted the way I hadn't l ooked away from Edward since his arrival because he just smiled at me when he to ld Edward, though he used the Elliot name, to show us to our table. "So, you guys on a date?" His voice sounded natural to anyone who didn't know th at he always took on a bland tone when he was either angry, nervous, or jealous. I wondered which one he was suffering from at the moment, and not daring to thi nk about what it could mean. "Maybe." Jake made a point to pull out my chair for me. "We just ran into each other on the beach and decided that we were hungry." I qu ickly explained as I sat, giving Jake a smile in thanks. "Well, f some esh in me. I our lunch special is pop-corn shrimp or the clam chowder--" He rambled of other things, but I was too busy staring at his lips. My dream was too fr my mind and I had to fight off the urge to jump him and make him remember had to remind myself that I had tried that once and had failed.

I was so busy with his lips that I didn't notice that he had been staring at me the entire time. I didn't know untiill Jake grumbled about it once Edward moved back to the kitchen with our orders. Claiming that happily dating men should not let their eyes roam so freely. My heart did a rapid dance against my ribs. I feared it might break out and go h opping after Edward... Dinner for Two I should have gone straight home after work, or I should have walked over to Tan ya's and make an attempt to patch things up between us. I was in enough trouble as it was with my girlfriend without adding to the list of transgressions. And m om always seemed so lonely when I went out. She acted like she would never see m e again if I walked out of the door and I didn't like adding to her stress level . My mind reminded me of all of this as I walked up the trail that led to Bella' s cabin. What was I doing?

Why couldn't I just leave her be? She seemed to be doing just fine with Jake; there was no longer a need for me to go out of my way to make her feel at home. And yet my feet kept on moving up th e trail, though my mind told them to turn around numerous times during the last fifteen minutes. She might not even be there... She might be over at Jake's... And that thought o nly made my feet go faster. And I was knocking on her screen door before I could really register how I got t here. "Coming!" Her voice called through the screen, followed by a yip and the sound t hat probably was of clattering of pots and pans. It was dinner time, she was pro bably getting ready to eat. Which made me very rude for coming at such a time. M aybe I should just leave before she got to the door... Though ding-dong-ditches were a bit too juvenile for me. Then I saw her enter the living room and all thoughts of leaving left my mind. She was in the same clothes that she had been wearing that afternoon, simple yet leaving her feminine features very apparent. When Tanya went to the beach she a lways made such a fuss over what she was going to wear, while Bella looked stunn ing with no make-up and ragged clothing. Bella's smile also made her face glow i n ways that Tanya s never did when she looked at me... I had to stop comparing the two! This was just sick and twisted! "Elliot," She always said my name as if it was difficult to pronounce. "What are you doing here?" She opened the door and motioned me inside. I walked over the threshold, and had no idea how to answer her. "I-I just wanted to thank-you for coming over to the picnic and was wondering if you had a good time... Seeing that we didn't have much time to talk." That sounded pathetic eve n to me. I had to add something at least a least bit believable. "And I wanted t o apologies for Tanya's and her mother's behavior. They are actually very nice p eople... That is once you get to know them." "It's alright; I didn't leave the best first impression on them." She gave me a small smile, though this one was forced. Then we stood in an awkward silence. My hands were shoved into my pockets and my mind kept yelling for my body to move and for my mouth to say good night . But nei ther of these things happened. Bella, for her part, didn t meet my eyes as she shi fted her weight from foot to foot. Well I managed to finally get out, I better--

A timer went off. Oh! Bella turned spun around and darted to the cabin s back room, tripping on the ru g in the processes. I forgot about the food! I was following her before I knew it. If I left her alone she would probably end up burning the entire house down. What are you making? I tried to casually ask fr om the room s doorway as I watched her dart around. I really wanted to force her t o sit at the table and let me handle everything.

Chicken and rice, She looked over her should as she bent down to take the casserol e dish out of the oven. I had a hard time fighting back the temptation to look a t her ass. My pants felt tight enough as it was. Would you like some? I hope she meant the chicken My stomach growled as I was preparing to decline. So, instead, I gave her a shee pish smile. That would be great. That was how I ended up with a better story to d at me. But, the funny emper as soon as I took having dinner with Bella. I was going to have to come up tell Tanya, who was going to be more than a little pisse thing was, I forgot all about Tanya and her incredible t the seat across from Bella.

The food was delicious and soon all the awkwardness was gone and I found myself laughing and smiling like I haven t done in I really don t remember the last time I s miled and laughed so much. At the risk of sounding cheesy, she was like pure sunshine, so beautiful to look at that it pained my eyes and yet I couldn t look away. So, this is your friend s house? I asked from the sink, where I was tackling the pil e of our dishes. I had refused to let her do both the cooking and the cleaning. Yep, She was covering the little food that had been left uneaten and putting it in the fridge. My friend Emmett thought I needed some time to myself. A snap of pain went through my head. Are you alright? I held up a hand to show I was fine, Do you get them often? Not since meeting you. But I didn t say that, just shook my head and continued was hing the plate in my hand and putting it on the drying rack. As strange as it mi ght sound, I felt so comfortable in this cabin, maybe more than I did in my actu al house. It was as if I had been here before. I just seemed to know where every thing was and where everything went. It was an odd, yet comforting, feeling. Here Bella s hand came into my line of sight. Two white pills rested against her pale skin. Thanks. I filled up the glass I had just washed and took the offered medication. G oose bumps erupted over my skin as our hands touched. If she felt the same charge that I did she hid it very well. She just smiled at me with that radiant grin of hers. It was amazing that a girl like this would be single. I know that she was in mourning for her boyfriend, but it had been a ye ar and I wasn t going to finish that thought. It would be going down a slippery slope tha t led straight to me thinking about things that I really shouldn t. I was swallowing the pills as she walked back towards the fridge, and slipped on a slight puddle of water that had splashed out of the sink. Yeah, just a headache.

She went down and I caught her mid-fall with such grace and ease it was as if my body knew the motion all too well. I guess it s my time to say thanks. feet and out of my arms. Her voice wasn t entirely even Neither was mine. Her face was so close to mine Once more with the mysterious body-memory. My lips crashed down on hers, my arms turned her around so that she straddled my lap as I lowered from my kneeling position to completely sit on the wood floorb oards. Her arms went around my neck, pulling me closer and her fingers twined th rough my hair. We seemed to know what drove the other crazy by sheer instinct. Her mouth broke away from mine in a small moan as my one hand slipping under her tang-top and cupped her breast, and then she bit my earlobe and I was gone, twi sting my neck about to our mouths met again. After a few more moments of complete bliss I came out of my lust-filled hazy lon g enough to realize that my cheeks were wet. Was she crying? I pulled away and saw the tears coursing down her cheeks. What s wrong? Surprisingly enough she was the one to ask this as she reached over an d touched her fingers to my cheek, They came back wet. We both were crying. Why? Was it because we realized that our make-out session was morally wrong? No hadn t even began to feel that guilt till I forced myself to think about it And I realized that I was happy. Then why the tears? I looked down at her; she was still intently watching my face "You're the one who wanted to go." "It's a tradition with us guys." My lips touched a pale neck. "We all go up to t he cabin every time this year. Best fishing time of the year." A small laugh of affection, "More like the best beer drinking and bullshitting t ime." "Don't be like that." I whispered, moving my hands to the small of the woman s bac k, untying the knot that held the bottom of her halter shut I Her face was crimson as she tried to get to her

The smell of flowers The scent of spicy food The undying desire to protect I m sorry I stammered, taking Bella off my lap and bolting towards the door. I think she might have called after me, which only made me run faster, leaping off of th e porch and sprinting down the path. A large part of me wanted to go back to her but that would be way too dangerous I stumbled on the path. My vision was blurring from the blinding pain in my head . Decisions "Elliot!" The false name burning my tongue as I watched him sprint out of the do or, my heart falling with each step. I shouldn't have given in... I should have kept him at arms length... I shouldn' t have kissed him... I touched my lips; I could still feel his warmth... The tears of happiness that had started to fall a few moments before turned bitt er, stinging my eyes and choking my throat... I bent over, resting my forehead on the wooden floor boards and simply cried. I cried till I was hollow... and then I fell asleep where I sat. -I woke the next morning with a neck ache and red, puffy eyes. I must look so lovely. I forced my sore muscles to stand and had my legs carry me to the bathroom. I ne eded to take a shower, and pull myself together; to do what I now knew had to be done. It dawned on me during my crying and generally all around break down: I had to l eave here. If not for my sanity than for Edward's He was happy here. He had a lovely mother, a beautiful girlfriend, and lived in a town that seemed to love him as much as he loved it... And if that kiss hadn't jarred his memory nothing would. Maybe he didn't want to remember. The warm shower water mingled with my tears, this would be the last time I allow ed myself to cry over the matter. Once I left here I would move on with my life. I would just see this as an extreme way of getting dumped: being completely wri tten out of his memory. After my shower I threw on some clothes and made for the trail. I had to go to t own one more time before making arrangements to leave. I had to say good-bye...

A clean break heals better than a sloppy one. What is true with bones holds true with hearts. I was down in town before I knew it... And I thought I would be sick before I re ached the cafe... I had to do this! I dug my nails into my palms and strolled down the street, ignoring the glare I could feel Stella giving me as I passed the store. The door chimed open behind me. "Where do you think you're going?" I turned to face her, making my features even and ordering myself not to cry and /or throw-up. "To the cafe, though it really isn't any of your business." "Well seeing that since you came to town four days ago all you have cared about is Elliot... And that makes you going into his workplace my business." She stalk ed towards me, rage in her eyes. Would she strike me in public? "Listen carefull y, he's dating my daughter. They have been together since they were in Junior Hi gh... And no hussy is going to break them up!" "Then this discussion isn't really necessary now is it?" "Don't get smart with me." I looked away from her sharp eyes, down at my sandals. "Don't worry; I'm plannin g on leaving tomorrow evening... This will be the last time I am in town. That's why I am going to the cafe, just to say good-bye." She continued to glare at me for another moment and then turned away. "Fine, but I don't want to see you down here again after this." What? Did she own the town or something? Whatever... I didn't want to fight with her; it wasn't worth it. I had made up my mind to leave. So instead of snapping back at her I just pivoted away and continued onto Ross', who happily greeted me at the counter. "Well, if it isn't my little beauty!" He slipped over the counter to give me a t ight hug. "Have you changed your mind about me offer?" "No," I backed away from his arms with a forced smile. "I was wondering if you t ell me where I could find Elliot." He winked at me and motioned over his shoulder. "In the back taking care of the morning delivery. If you need to find him, you could always go around the buildi ng and--" "Thanks." I was already backing towards the door with a brief wave in parting. " And bye!" "Wait, I thought you were here all summer..." I lost his voice as the door swung shut and I ran to the back alleyway.

Voices greeted me. One was Edwards and the other was Tanya's. I pressed myself against the wall, hiding like a fugitive as I eavesdropped. I didn't actually mean to listen into their conversation... but I couldn't bring myself to move or make my presence known. "Where were you last night before you came over to the house?" I winced at Tanya's voice, feeling like the tramp her mother clearly thought I w as. "I told you I went up to see Bella and ended up eating with her." He hadn't lied to his girlfriend about us? A sad smile tugged at my lips. Appare ntly some traits never fade. "Elliot..." Her voice was thick with a sob. "I want you to stop seeing that girl . I know that it's innocent on your part, but she's up to no good." There was a long pause... The soft sounds of rustled cloth told me that he was h ugging her. "Alright... I'll talk to her after work." "Why? Why can't you let her be?" "But--" "Please, just steer clear of that place." "Alright--" I ran, trying to fool myself into believing that I was happy for him... -"Hello? Bella?" I wiped my eyes as I slowly climbed the trail. "Hey Emmett, can I ask you for a favor?" "Sure... What is it?" "Pick me up tomorrow." "I have work--" "Then in the evening when you get off... Please, I just want to go home and don' t want to take the long bus trip--" "Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can." "Thanks." I snapped my cell shut and continued my walk in silence, thinking of a ll the things I had to get done before tomorrow... Maybe I would give the cabin a thorough cleaning...

Losing Control The path seemed harder to walk than usual. The mile and a half seemed to take ho urs to cover. Why was it that my heart seemed to be in lead weighed feet with ea ch step I took towards the cabin? Despite what Tanya had asked me I couldn t let things as they were. I had to expla in myself, and my actions, to Bella so she would understand that she had done no thing wrong That all the blame was mine. "Elliot... I want you to stop seeing that girl. I know that it's innocent on you r part, but she's up to no good." For a moment I had hated Tanya for saying that I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts. Tanya, my girlfriend, had made a legitimate request to me. All she wanted me to do was stop hanging around with another, extremely attractive women. Most women would ask for no less... And it was odd that slowly every thought in my mind was beginning to include Bel la. What she was doing? Who she was with? What she was wearing... I only knew this woman for four days and yet... I shook my head as the cabin came into view and forced myself to walk up onto th e porch and knock. No one answered. The screen was closed, but the inside door was open. "Hey... Hey... Bella..." I yelled into the dark cabin. "I'm coming in!" The door squeaked open. Still no answer. My heart began to race. I had meant to warn her about staying up here alone, eve n with Jake living nearby there were still risks... My heart stopped, remembering how close Bella and Jake were Monday afternoon. Ma ybe she was over at his cabin; last night's kiss had left me running to Tanya... It was only understandable that she would go to Jake. She was beautiful and sti ll hurt by her boyfriend's death. And Jake was a man... I mentally slapped myself. I thought I already had this mental ramble Sunday nig ht... Which had led to the kiss on Monday... Which is why I am here today. I had to end this before it got out of hand... more out of hand than it already was. "Bella?" I craned my neck into the bedroom's doorway. She was there, along with an open suitcase that she was packing up. Her iPod's h eadphones were plugged into her ears and her back was to me. For some reason I h ad a sense of deva ju. Not this way exactly, but I had the sudden urge to wrap m y arms around her waist and... Best not think about that. I rapped on the doorframe. "Bella."

She startled, turning to face me as she clicked off the IPod. "Elliot..." She sl owly took out her earplugs, tossing the slim player onto the bed, right beside t he duffle. "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to... Why are you packing? Are you leaving?" She didn't meet my eyes. "Yeah..." She cleared her throat. "Yeah." "Why? I thought you were here for the summer." "Some of my friends are coming to get me tomorrow evening. They thought it would be in my best interest to go back home... Too much time on my hands to think." I walked into the room, trying to force her to meet my eyes. "And you weren't go ing to tell me?" "I-I thought it would be better this way..." Her hands were shaking. "We both kn ow that this is the best way." I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out and lifting her face so I could see he r eyes. They were filled with tears. And my resolve crumbled. Bella trying to hide her tears were too much for my hea rt to bear. Even if I didn t know the reason for them Between one thought and the next, my lips crashed down on hers as my arms snaked around her body. She clung to me, kissing me back with just as much passion and desire. My body started to act on its own, being controlled by something other than my brain or my groin. It was that body-memory again. It had me back her tow ards the bed without a moment s hesitation, She reached behind her, pushing the duffle and iPod off of the mattress right be fore she fell onto it, with me crawling on after her and covering her with my bo dy. "Ed Elliot maybe we should She gasped out as I started to tug her tank-top above her he ad, cursing the fact that she had a bikini top on underneath. Her gasp turned in to a primal mourn as I untied the top and started to massage her breasts, coveri ng her mouth with mine once again. Her hand cupped the bulge in my pants while her other unzipped my fly and snappe d open the button. Our clothes were gone within seconds and I soaked in the sight of her bare body laying under me. I pulled her legs open a bit further and groaned at the sight a s I positioned myself between them. Her nails dug into my shoulder blades as I started to move in her. Oh God Yes She panted as she bucked her hips up to meet me.

I pulled her closer and picked up the pace, unable to restrain myself as her voi ce urged me on. I m coming I growled as she let out a scream of release

When we finally came down from our highs, her breasts heaved as she tried to cat ch her breath; wrapping her arms around my neck and let my head fall onto her ch

est. It took a few seconds later for realization to dawn on me. I just slept with Bel la I just cheated on Tanya And I was happy about it We We shouldn t have done that. u have a girlfriend and-Bella, calm down And I m the grabbed the nst the dark nk we better Bella muttered, twisting herself out from under me. Yo

I m the one who started this.

one who went along with it She looked at me quickly and glanced away. She sheet, wrapping it around her body. A shimmer of silver danced agai material, I hadn t noticed the necklace during all the activity. I thi forget that this happened. I m leaving tomorrow and--

I laid a finger on her full lips as my other hand twined through the chain, brin ging the cheap ring hanging at the end into focus. It was familiar So familiar My head laced with pain. I doubled over, clutching at my skull. A crowded station packed with people, a young woman almost falling in front of t he approaching subway train. I reached out to grab her arm, pulling her against me. Whoa, that would have been a nasty fall. She looked up at me with large brown eyes Elliot No, that name wasn t right Was it ?

The smell of spicy food assaulted my nostrils as I watched a slender woman worke d at the stove. Her bare back was just begging for me to kiss. I loosened my tie and walked into the room. Hey beautiful. I whispered into her ear, pushing her ma ss of dark hair over her shoulder. What s for dinner? She laughed as I planted my li ps to her neck. What s the matter!? away I could feel her hands grabbed my shoulders, but my mind was far

You left her a freaking ring on the pillow that morning? Don t you think that s cheat ing? I shrugged as I maneuvered around a fallen log. I was too scared to hear her answe r I ll know if she is wearing the ring or not. A large arm wrapped around my neck, putting me into a headlock. ou know that Bella loves you-You re so pathetic Y

The earth fell away as I pushed free from his hold everything went dark. I fell off a cliff While I was rough housing with Emmett My voice was so quiet that I wasn t even sure that the words were being spoken allowed. But the pain was subs iding Bella s eyes filled with water once again as she slowly nodded. Her voice was no l ouder than mine had been. Yes You went hiking with him and Jasper and were rough h ousing-Because they were picking on me about how I about how I proposed to you. My thumb b

rushed over the cheap plastic of the ring. I-I told them that I was too nervous t o know your answer . I said I would know your answer if you if you were wearing thi s when I came back Tears started to flow down my cheeks as I let go of the ring an d cupped her chin. I guess I have my answer? She was crying too, her tears dripped onto my face as she leaned over to kiss me again. I m Sorry possible. I m Such An Idiot

I said between hungry kisses as I pulled her as closer to Yes, you are.

She pulled away, wiping my tears as I did hers.

And I started to cry again, burying my face in her perfect breasts as sobs rippe d trough my body. Her fingers combed through my hair. We both sat in silence, ju st holding each other and letting our tears fall. Beginning of the End I flipped a pancake and couldn't keep the idiotic smile off my face. I had been humming and smiling since waking up and now I was making breakfast at noon... Ye s, I stayed in bed that long, and Edward was still passed out... Arms wrapped around my waist and someone bite my earlobe... Strike that... Edward had been passed out till thirty seconds ago. "Come back to bed." He whispered, taking the spatula from my hand, placed the pa ncake on top of the small mountain that I already had made, and turned off the s tove. His other hand inched up my bare calf. I was only wearing his T-shirt whil e it felt like he was only in boxers. I bite back a moan as his fingers brushed my entrance before gliding up my stoma ch. "Again?" His lips brushed over my neck. "It has been a year and you are so cuddly" I turned around, putting my hands on the stove and looked up into the eyes that I've missed so much. "It's not like you weren't getting any during that time per iod." His face paled, his eyes widened, and I instantly regretted picking on him. Edwa rd took everything too personal and claimed all the blame as his own. "I-I'm sor ry..." I silenced him with a finger on his lips. "It's alright... I'm not mad--" "But I am." Edward and I looked over at the door, where Tanya was fuming. How did she get in? Did I lock the door last night? Nope... I had been busy with other things... "Tanya," Edward quickly dropped his hand from where it was massaging my breast, and helped my right the shirt before taking a step towards her. "I can explain."

"What? You got lost in the woods, had your clothes eaten by wild dogs, and stumb led upon here where Bella, who has a night shirt exactly like your work one, was going to nurse you back to health while you warmed up by fondling her body?!" "No... That would just be nonsense." "Elliot--!" "My name isn't Elliot." "What!?" "My name is Edward Masen, I'm twenty-seven years old and this here is my fianc... Isabella Swan--" Her icy blue eyes snapped over to me. "What the fuck did you do to hid head your bitch!? Just because your boyfriend is dead doesn't mean you have the right to take mine!" Her anger made me want to back away, but Edward snaked an arm around my waist to hold me closer to his side. "I believe that you have that reversed, just becaus e Elliot is gone doesn't mean that you can make me his substitute." "Elliot, I don't know that you are talking about. You're--" "A guy that Esme found floating on the ocean and mistook for her son. I can unde rstand that... I might even be able to see why you did what you did; the heart i s a terrifying thing, especially when it is broken. But you always had to know I wasn't him... And now you're trying to keep me from the woman I love more than anything." His arm tightened around me. A venomous, hate filled smile crossed her as she crossed her arms. "Then why did you sleep with me? If this girl is the love of your life how could you enjoy be ing in the arms of any other? Face it Elliot, you've been taking in by some beac h bimbo who wants a memory--" Edward's eyes grew colder, the only sign of his anger. "Who ever said I enjoyed it?" Her cocky smile vanished. "What?" "I didn't want to hurt you... But I really never felt anything phenomenal when w e were together. I never felt connected to you." Her mouth hung open. I didn't know what to do; I just tugged at the hem of the shirt in an attempted to cover myself. Edward continued talking. "Why do you think I pushed you away so many times?" My eyebrows went up. Edward... Edward... pushed sex away? The world was coming t o an end... "And what about Esme?" Tanya snapped over at him. "Can you just leave her for yo ur whore?" His hold tightened, his brows knitted. "She has nothing to do with me... Only sa d delusions. I feel sorry for her, but that doesn't give me reason to stay."

Tanya only glared at us for a moment longer, then turned around and stormed off. "Um... Edward... She looked really--" He cut me off with a kiss. "She'll be fine. She insulted you and was acting like a spoiled brat. She'll go to Stella and they will rave about how evil we are." "But--" He kissed me once more before reaching around me, grabbed the plate of pancakes, and headed for the table. "I'm starving." I went to sit on a chair, but he pulled me into his lap and buried him head in m y shoulder. He was shaking. I had to force my voice over the lump in my throat. "Is this too hard for you?" He lifted his head. "What?" I forced myself to look into his eyes. "You have a life here--" "I have Elliot's life." "But I think Esme loves you all the same." "I'm not her son." "But you see her as your mother." I stroked his face. "At least go talk to her b efore you make any decisions." "I'm going back with you tonight." I leaned my forehead against his. "Then talk to her this afternoon." "Why?" "She needs to hear this from you..." "I-I don't know..." His walls were crumbling. "I know that it wasn't real but--" I smoothed his hair. "Go talk to her." "I don't want to leave you... Not when I just got you back." I lightly touched his lips with mine. "I'm not going anywhere." And me? What if I fall again? I ll find you again. But-We ll talk about the future once you talk to Esme. I turned around to stab at the pa ncake at the stack s top. Now eat up before them get cold. Elliot I felt like I was going to be sick as I stepped onto the porch, fighting back th

e urge to go back to the cottage and just crawl into bed for the next couple of hours till I could go back and try to reclaim the life that I once had. I touche d the railing... Don't you remember; you would always sit here while eating watermelon seeds... Y ou would always see if you beat your long distance record. Esme had smiled at me that day, one of my first days there, as she tried to forc e these memories on me... Drilled them in me until I almost started to think the y were real. But they weren't, and there was no way that I could just pretend th at I actually belonged here. No matter how much I wish it could be true. I loved Esme, as the mother I had lost, but not to the point that I would throw away my life with Bella. We had to face the truth: I wasn't her Elliot. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen... Esme was leaning against the counter, sipping away at her usual cup of coffee. She greeted me with a sunny smile. "Good morning! Didn't expect you back from Ta nya's so soon. You usually spend your days off with her--" I shifted my feet in the door. "I wasn't with Tanya." Her smile faded. "Oh, Elliot. I thought Stella as being paranoid about you and B ella--" "I'm not Elliot." She put her coffee down and gave me a long look. "Honey, why would you say that-?" "My name is Edward Masen; I fell off the cliffs on Sander's trail almost a year ago... You found me floating in the ocean and mistook me for your son." She shook her head; her eyes were wet. "No... No Darling. I-I don t know what you heard... But you are my Elliot." "Yet I can remember everything about my life as Edward and only can pretend to r emember the stories you tell me." She took a step towards me, holding her arms out to me. "You're my Elliot." I walked towards her, ignoring her arms taking a hold of his shoulders. "I'm not him." I pushed back a lock of her caramel hair that was caught in her eyes. "Th e mind is a scary place... It makes you believe things that aren't real, things that you want to be true." "Elliot--" "Look at me." I grabbed her chin and made her meet my eyes. "Really look at me.. . I'm not your son. Just a man you found floating in the ocean who resembled him ." Her eyes scanned my face, finally seeing pass the film of memory. A trembling ha nd slowly lifted to her mouth as her eyes grew and the tears flowed down her che eks. "You're... You're..." Her voice broke.

"Go on," I kept my voice gentle. "You can say it." Her voice barely made it out of her lips. "You're not Elliot." I just nodded as she began to sob. She would have fallen to the floor if I hadn' t caught her. This woman had caused me a year that I could have had with Bella.. . Yet I couldn't hate her. I pitied her. So I held her and let her cry, being her son for one last time. -I passed her a fresh coffee. Esme was finally calm and we were now in the living room, surrounded by photos of the dead man I had thought I was only a day befor e. "You want to talk about it?" I settled in the chair across from where she sat on the couch. She blew on the rich liquid and slowly nodded. "I guess I do owe you that." "Not if it will hurt you." I didn't want her to be hurt more than she already ha d been. She took a sip and put her mug on the coffee table. "It's alright..." She got up and started to walk along the walls, lightly running her fingers over the photo s hanging on the wall. "Elliot was my life. His father had died while I was stil l pregnant, and spent all my..." Her voice broke. "All of his life trying to pro tect him, while still allowing him to have all the fun and adventure of a normal child." She looked over her shoulder and gave me a sad smile. "I think you have a slight idea as to how much this town loved him... No one could be around him and not like him." She ran her fingertips over his smiling seven-year-old face. "He was the heart of this town." "And then he died." I finished, looking down at my hands and hating myself for b ringing this up. I should have just made her realize the truth and left. Esme nodded, turning her back on the photos and returning to her seat. "He drown ed while off on a picnic with Tanya and some of the other town kids. He got caug ht in the rip tide..." She wiped her cheeks. "We were all crushed when they foun d his body... This place was a ghost town after that. We still went about our li ves... But there didn't seem to be a meaning to it." I nodded in understanding, not trusting my voice. "So..." She cleared her throat and tried to continue. "So, imagine my surprise w hen I found you only a month later... Everything went blank and you became Ellio t." She looked like she wanted to take my hand, but clasped them together on her lap instead. "I am so sorry... I know that is not nearly good enough... But I n ever meant any malice or..." I leaned forward and took her shaking hands in mine. "It's alright." "You lost a year of your life." "You lost the center of yours and you have to admit that the resemblance is unca nny." She gave my hands a squeeze. "Thank-you... I don't deserve it."

"Yes you do. If it weren't for you I would really be dead... And Bella would be very sad." I lifted her hands and kissed them. "So, it's my turn to thank-you." She started to cry anew, pulling me into a hug that only a mother could give as I patted her back. "I'm going to miss you." She finally managed a watery laugh as she pulled away. "Opening pickles is going to quite the chore..." I searched her face... I couldn't leave her like this. "Why not leave here?" "What?" "Leave here; come to the city with me... Start a new life." "El... Edward?" "Even if you do stay here, make sure your free for my wedding... The mother's se at will be empty without you." "Mother's seat? But what about your real one?" "As far as I'm concerned, I'm looking at her." She just smiled and let out a chuckle. "I'll think about it... both matters." "Glad to hear it." I hugged her one more time and got up. "Now I have to go back to my girl." Esme nodded to the door, her smile growing. "Just be safe." "There are still some things that I don't need to hear." Her laughter followed me out the door. Shotguns and Fainting Edward had been gone for awhile and all I could do was twitter my thumbs and wai t... Alright, I didn't just do that; I actually started to pack my things and, w hen I was done with that, clean the rooms I lived in during the last couple of d ays. Especially the bedroom and the sheets... Edward's and my decision to make-up for lost time did havoc on the linens, and I really didn't want to explain that to Emmett... I wonder if Edward was going to bring anything back? I had told him that Emmett was coming this evening, and he had made it seem like he was planning on coming along. At least he had said as much... But was he really? What if, when he got talking to Esme again and started to remember how much he e njoyed being her son, he decided to stay? I had told him that he should talk to her... That he should work things out before coming home with me.

But what if he liked living like Elliot and was just saying he wanted to be Edwa rd for my sake? Because he felt like he owed my something? I don't think I could live with that... Or, what if he fell again... Would I really be able to go through all of this for a second time? I laid my head on the wall, trying to gain control over my breathing... Everything was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. I tried to calm my racing heart with this mantra... And when that I failed I paced... When the cabin seemed too small for all out pacing I opened the door to walk aro und the cabin, maybe hiking down the trail and meeting Edward at Esme's... But I didn t want to hover... These were the things that I was thinking as I stepped onto the porch and found myself looking down the barrel of a shotgun. Stella was at the other end with a blood curling look in her eyes. "There was no thing going on?" She cocked the gun and pushed some bullets into the chamber, I was too scared to move. "You only wanted to say good-bye and then he would never see you again?" "...Stella..." I lifted my hands to show I was completely defenseless as I took a small step towards the madwoman with the gun. "Let me explain before you do so mething--" She fired a shot into the air, then swung the gun down to face me again as she l oaded. "The only excuse you could have is that you re a tramp who wanted someone e lse's man. I've seen your type before, lost my husband to one, and I refuse to l et my daughter be hurt like that again--" "Because she lost Elliot once already." "Yes. It nearly killed her... And I vowed never to let her experience that feeli ng again." "Even if that means kidnapping?" "It's not kidnapping, it's protecting what's yours--" "Your Elliot is really my Edward." "Lying bitch!" She clicked the gun shut and continued to glare at me. "It's true, he's--" "Shut-up!" The barrel was aimed at my chest. Her hands were shaking ever so slig

htly. She didn't want to actually shoot me... that much I knew for sure... And that wa s enough for me to take another step towards her and lowered my hands. "What do you want me to do? Why are you here?" "I want you to pack up your things and get the hell away from here before Elliot comes back." "He won't believe what you tell him now... He remembers who he really is... He k nows where to find me." "He will stay here... The town needs him and he knows it." "Why? Why are all of your so bent on believing that Edward is Elliot." "He was... is... He is everything to us." I sat on the step and rested my chin in my hands. "I'm sorry that you lost him.. . And I'm sorry that I'm taking his replacement--" "Bitch!" Stella went to pull the trigger, but was stopped by a meaty fist collid ing with her neck as another plucked the shotgun from her hands. "Sorry about that ma'am... But I don't like people talking to Bella like that... Or pointing guns at her." Emmett caught her as she fell and rested her back aga inst the porch before he looked up at me. His eyes were dark with concern. "You alright?" "Yeah..." My voice was uneven and my hands were starting to shake. Now that the threat was gone I found myself not being as collected as I had thought... "Was she the reason that you wanted me to come and get you?" I just shook my head, trying to pull myself together as he came up to sit beside me, draping an arm over my shoulders. "If it wasn't because of a psycho bitch; then, why?" "I think I had a lot to do leapt to stand in front of me into his arms. "I am so ou alone..." His lips went with it." Edward, out of breath, ran up the path and me. He all but ripped me away from Emmett and pulled sorry..." He kissed my hair. "I shouldn't have left y to my forehead. "I should've taken you with me..."

"It's alright." But I clung to him and buried my face in his chest. Emmett, forgotten, slowly got to his feet. His mouth hung open and he just stare d at Edward. "Bella... He looks just like Edward!" "I am Edward." Emmett nodded. "Well, in that case... WHAT!?" "Em... I'm Ed--" Edward was pried away from me. Emmett had him pulled into a massive hug, which l ifted Edward off the ground so only his feet brushed the ground. Emmett was crying... and babbling some kind of apology, while Edward just tried to gain the ability to breathe again.

As I watched the two; all I could do was laugh until tears filled my eyes. Back to Life The screen door creaked open and I was in the living room before it could swing shut, leaping into his arms before he had time to put down his briefcase or take off his shoes. "Welcome home!" I sang, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing him soundl y on the lips. He had been back for a month now and I still ran to greet him eve ryday. I know that one day I will be over the anxiety that over takes me every t ime he left, but, for now, I couldn't help but celebrate every time he walked in through that door. He, for his part, returned my kiss and wrapped his arms around me. He carried me into the kitchen and placed me on the counter as he started to take things out of his briefcase. I nipped at his exposed neck creeping out of his collar. "So... How was your day ?" He groaned, burying his head into the crock of my neck. I finger-combed his hair. Today had been his first day back to the office. "That bad?" "Let me put it this way," His warm breath made me shiver. "Remember how hard it was to make me a living citizen again?" I twisted my neck to kiss his ear. "Yep." His hands ran up the side of my bare legs. "It was much worse trying to convince my boss that I'm not suffering from some kind of brain damage. As it looks now I'm going to be a pencil pusher until December." "That sucks... But at least they let you return to work. You just have to prove yourself to them and they will be begging for you to go back into the court room ." His hands went up higher on my legs, under the hem of my sundress. "I'm glad tha t one of us has faith in the situation." "You're here now, alive, that's all that matters." He lifted his head and brushed his thumb over my lips. "True enough." Then he wa s kissing me again and it took a great sense of will, on his part, to pull away. I tried to capture his lips again but he shook his head. The last month had bee n hell, well... a small part of the last month had been hell, as we went around to the various government buildings in town and filled out the needed paper work , and got the needed DNA tests, to prove to heads of the nation that Edward Mase n was in fact alive and well. The good part of this month was that, at night, we could take all out frustratio ns out in very delightful ways. But, for right now, it was clear that he wanted a clear head... Ok, maybe just a semi-clear head... His hands were having fun petting my body, and I wasn't abou t to complain.

He leaned his forehead against mine. "Any calls?" Seeing that I had taken the entire summer off from work, and seeing that they re fused to let me come back till August, I had spent most of my days going to the post office to mail out needed paper work, making appoints for things such as do ctor appointments and the DMV, and did I mention that I had a wedding to plan? Well I do. Edward and I wanted to be married by the end of summer. Good in theory, but tryi ng to juggle all those plans and all the things to bring Edward back to the worl d of the living was a bit of a hassle... Hence why I love 'bedtime'... "Other than Emmett's ten, Rose's five, Alice's eleven, and Jasper's three...whic h is a record for him?" "We're going to be having dinner with them tonight! Why do they need to talk to me!?" I kissed his nose. "To make sure that you didn't fall down on your way to the ba throom and lost your memories again... or something like that." He pulled me closer his him, grabbing my backside and licking my neck. "You're l ucky that your so damn beautiful, or I would be angry at you... punishment would ensure." "Dirty..." I moaned as his hands kneaded my flesh... So much for him trying to k eep a clear head. His chuckle was dark and completely seductive as his lips traveled down my neck and to my collar bone... trailing along the strap of my dress and down towards w here a bit of cleavage peeked out of the blue material. "I was being serious." Then a phone rang. He swore and let go of me to grabbing his cell from his jacket's pocket, flickin g it open without even looking at the ID. "Seriously Em..." I barely heard the feminine voice come from the other end. "Oh... Sorry... Did I call at a bad time...?" Edward's eyes gentled as he shook his head, though Esme wouldn't be able to see the gesture. "No, I just back from work and I thought that you were Emmett." "Your big, muscular friend?" "Yep, the one who took out Stella... How is she doing by the way?" "Better, your friend knocked some sense into her... no pun intended... When she woke up... Well she felt like a complete 'psycho bitch' and wanted to apologize. .. But you guys were gone already and... Well, did I tell you how sorry everyone is about what happened?" "A few hundred." He gently ran his fingertips over his face as he continued to t alk to his mother-figure. "Well... They are... and Ross wanted me to tell you that he wants to see you and Bella at the restaurant this summer..."

"I don't know if that would be possible." "I thought as much... But he wanted me to ask..." Edward just remained silent. Esme had called a few times during the last week, e ach time it felt like she wanted to say something but never could get the words out. Edward never pushed her into simply saying her piece and being done with it ; he let her go about it at her own pace. "So... um... I was wondering... When is your wedding? Edward's eyes widened as he nodded. "August fourteenth." "Well, it's a little early to tell you... I know... Seeing that you probably did n't get invitations out or anything... But... I wanted to RSVP... That is if the invite is still good..." Edward beamed. "Of course it is! That's great! I'm so happy that you decided to come!" "Well... um... a mother has to be there for her... son... well; anyway I better get going, see you then... bye!" She hung up the next moment and Edward just softly laughed. "She's such an awkwa rd flake at times." "So," I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled his throat. "She's coming to the wedding?" "Yep." "I'm glad... You wanted your mom to be there." He didn't say anything; I had the faint opinion that he was blushing behind the curtain of my hair. We stayed liked that for a while, my face in his chest and his in my hair, until the kitchen phone rang. Edward pulled away and answered the ringing portable. "Hello?" "WHERE ARE YOU? WE HAVE BEEN HERE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOU GUYS HAVE YET TO SHOW !" Edward winced. I winced. We had forgotten about dinner. "We're on our way." Edward hung up before Emmett could get another comment in, a s I slide off the counter. I held out my hand for him. "Shall we?" He just grinned, twined his fingers through mine, and led the way to the car.