Alice in Wonderland

Word Count: ~27,000
Alice In Wonderland By Lewis Carroll
Alice In Wonderland
I. Down The a!!it"hole
ALIC# was !e$innin$ to $et %ery tired o& sittin$ !y her sister on the !an', and o& ha%in$ nothin$ to do: once or twice she had (ee(ed into the !oo' her sister was readin$, !ut it had no (ictures or con%ersations in it, )and what is the use o& a !oo',* thou$ht Alice, )without (ictures or con%ersation+* ,o she was considerin$ in her own -ind .as well as she could, &or the hot day -ade her &eel %ery slee(y and stu(id/ whether the (leasure o& -a'in$ a daisy"chain would !e worth the trou!le o& $ettin$ u( and (ic'in$ the daisies, when suddenly a White a!!it with (in' eyes ran close !y her. There was nothin$ so very re-ar'a!le in that0 nor did Alice thin' it so very -uch out o& the way to hear the a!!it say to itsel&, )1h dear2 1h dear2 I shall !e too late2* .when she thou$ht it o%er a&terwards, it occurred to her that she ou$ht to ha%e wondered at this, !ut at the ti-e it all see-ed 3uite natural/0 !ut when the a!!it actually took a watch out of its waist-coat pocket, and loo'ed at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her &eet, &or it &lashed across her -ind that she had ne%er !e&ore seen a ra!!it with either a waist"coat (oc'et or a watch to ta'e out o& it, and !urnin$ with curiosity, she ran across the &ield a&ter it, and &ortunately was 4ust in ti-e to see it (o( down a lar$e ra!!it"hole under the hed$e. In another -o-ent down went Alice a&ter it, ne%er once considerin$ how in the world she was to $et out a$ain. The ra!!it"hole went strai$ht on li'e a tunnel &or so-e way, and then di((ed
I. Down The Rabbit-hole
Alice In Wonderland
suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a -o-ent to thin' a!out sto((in$ hersel& !e&ore she &ound hersel& &allin$ down a %ery dee( well. #ither the well was %ery dee(, or she &ell %ery slowly, &or she had (lenty o& ti-e as she went down to loo' a!out her, and to wonder what was $oin$ to ha((en ne5t. 6irst, she tried to loo' down and -a'e out what she was co-in$ to, !ut it was too dar' to see anythin$0 then she loo'ed at the sides o& the well, and noticed that they were &illed with cu(!oards and !oo'"shel%es: here and there she saw -a(s and (ictures hun$ u(on (e$s. ,he too' down a 4ar &ro- one o& the shel%es as she (assed0 it was la!elled )1 A78# 9A 9ALAD#,* !ut to her $reat disa((oint-ent it was e-(ty: she did not li'e to dro( the 4ar &or &ear o& 'illin$ so-e!ody, so -ana$ed to (ut it into one o& the cu(!oards as she &ell (ast it. )Well2* thou$ht Alice to hersel&. )A&ter such a &all as this, I shall thin' nothin$ o& tu-!lin$ downstairs2 :ow !ra%e they;ll all thin' -e at ho-e2 Why, I wouldn;t say anythin$ a!out it, e%en i& I &ell o&& the to( o& the house2* .Which was %ery li'ely true./ Down, down, down. Would the &all never co-e to an end+ )I wonder how -any -iles I;%e &allen !y this ti-e+* she said aloud. )I -ust !e $ettin$ so-ewhere near the centre o& the earth. Let -e see: that would !e &our thousand -iles down, I thin'"* .&or, you see, Alice had learnt se%eral thin$s o& this sort in her lessons in the schoolroo-, and thou$h this was not a very $ood o((ortunity &or showin$ o&& her 'nowled$e, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was $ood (ractice to say it o%er/ )"yes, that;s a!out the ri$ht distance " !ut then I wonder what Latitude and Lon$itude I;%e $ot to+* .Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or Lon$itude either,
I. Down The Rabbit-hole 3
Alice In Wonderland
!ut thou$ht they were nice $rand words to say./ <resently she !e$an a$ain. )I wonder i& I shall &all ri$ht through the earth2 :ow &unny it;ll see- to co-e out a-on$ the (eo(le that wal' with their heads downwards2 The Anti(athies, I thin'"* .she was rather $lad there was no one listenin$, this ti-e, as it didn;t sound at all the ri$ht word/ )"!ut I shall ha%e to as' the- what the na-e o& the country/= is, you 'now. <lease, 9a;a-, is this 7ew >ealand or Australia+* .and she tried to curtsey as she s(o'e " &ancy curtseying as you;re &allin$ throu$h the air2 Do you thin' you could -ana$e it+/ )And what an i$norant little $irl she;ll thin' -e2 7o, it;ll ne%er do to as': (erha(s I shall see it written u( so-ewhere.* Down, down, down. There was nothin$ else to do, so Alice soon !e$an tal'in$ a$ain. )Dinah;ll -iss -e %ery -uch to"ni$ht, I should thin'2* .Dinah was the cat./ )I ho(e they;ll re-e-!er her saucer o& -il' at tea"ti-e. Dinah, -y dear, I wish you were down here with -e2 There are no -ice in the air, I;- a&raid, !ut you -i$ht catch a !at, and that;s %ery li'e a -ouse, you 'now. But do cats eat !ats, I wonder+ * And here Alice !e$an to $et rather slee(y, and went on sayin$ to hersel&, in a drea-y sort o& way, )Do cats eat !ats+ Do cats eat !ats+ * and so-eti-es, )Do !ats eat cats+ * &or, you see, as she couldn;t answer either 3uestion, it didn;t -uch -atter which way she (ut it.,he &elt that she was do?in$ o&&, and had 4ust !e$un to drea- that she was wal'in$ hand in hand with Dinah, and sayin$ to her %ery earnestly, )7ow, Dinah, tell -e the truth: did you e%er eat a !at+ * when suddenly, thu-(2 Thu-(2 Down she ca-e u(on a hea( o& dry lea%es, and the &all was o%er.
4 I. Down The Rabbit-hole
Alice In Wonderland
Alice was not a !it hurt, and she 4u-(ed u( on to her &eet in a -o-ent: she loo'ed u(, !ut it was all dar' o%erhead0 !e&ore her was another lon$ (assa$e, and the White a!!it was still in si$ht, hurryin$ down it. There was not a -o-ent to !e lost: away went Alice li'e the wind, and was 4ust in ti-e to hear it say, as it turned a corner, )1h, -y ears and whis'ers, how late it;s $ettin$2 *,he was close !ehind it when she turned the corner, !ut the a!!it was no lon$er to !e seen: she &ound hersel& in a lon$, low hall, which was lit u( !y a row o& la-(s han$in$ &rothe roo&. There were doors all round the hall, !ut they were all loc'ed0 and when Alice had !een all the way down one side and u( the other, tryin$ e%ery door, she wal'ed sadly down the -iddle, wonderin$ how she was e%er to $et out a$ain. ,uddenly she ca-e u(on a little three"le$$ed ta!le, all -ade o& solid $lass0 there was nothin$ on it e5ce(t a tiny $olden 'ey, and Alice;s &irst thou$ht was that it -i$ht !elon$ to one o& the doors o& the hall0 !ut, alas2 either the loc's were too lar$e, or the 'ey was too s-all, !ut at any rate it would not o(en any o& the-. :owe%er, the second ti-e round, she ca-e u(on a low curtain she had not noticed !e&ore, and !ehind it was a little door a!out &i&teen inches hi$h: she tried the little $olden 'ey in the loc', and to her $reat deli$ht it &itted2 Alice o(ened the door and &ound that it led into a s-all (assa$e, not -uch lar$er than a rat"hole: she 'nelt down and loo'ed alon$ the (assa$e into the lo%eliest $arden you e%er saw. :ow she lon$ed to $et out o& that dar' hall, and wander a!out a-on$ those !eds o& !ri$ht &lowers and those cool &ountains, !ut she could not e%en $et her head throu$h the doorway0 )and e%en i& -y head would $o
Alice In Wonderland
throu$h,* thou$ht (oor Alice, )it would !e o& %ery little use without -y shoulders. 1h, how I wish I could shut u( li'e a telesco(e2 I thin' I could, i& I only 'new how to !e$in. *6or, you see, so -any out"o&"the"way thin$s had ha((ened lately, that Alice had !e$un to thin' that %ery &ew thin$s indeed were really i-(ossi!le. There see-ed to !e no use in waitin$ !y the little door, so she went !ac' to the ta!le, hal& ho(in$ she -i$ht &ind another 'ey on it, or at any rate a !oo' o& rules &or shuttin$ (eo(le u( li'e telesco(es: this ti-e she &ound a little !ottle on it .)which certainly was not here !e&ore,* said Alice/, and round its nec' a (a(er la!el, with the words )D I7@ 9#* !eauti&ully (rinted on it in lar$e letters. It was all %ery well to say )Drin' -e,* !ut the wise little Alice was not $oin$ to do that in a hurry. )7o, I;ll loo' &irst,* she said, )and see whether it;s -ar'ed poison or not*0 &or she had read se%eral nice little histories a!out children who had $ot !urnt, and eaten u( !y wild !easts, and -any other un(leasant thin$s, all !ecause they would not re-e-!er the si-(le rules their &riends had tau$ht the-: such as, that a red"hot (o'er will !urn you i& you hold it too lon$0 and that, i& you cut your &in$er very dee(ly with a 'ni&e, it usually !leeds0 and she had ne%er &or$otten that, i& you drin' -uch, &ro- a !ottle -ar'ed )(oison,* it is al-ost certain to disa$ree with you, sooner or later. :owe%er, this !ottle was not -ar'ed )(oison,* so Alice %entured to taste it, and &indin$ it %ery nice .it had, in &act, a sort o& -i5ed &la%our o& cherry tart, custard, (inea((le, roast tur'ey, to&&ee, and hot !uttered toast/, she %ery soon &inished it o&&. )What a curious &eelin$2 * said Alice. )I -ust !e shuttin$ u( li'e a telesco(e. * And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches hi$h, and her &ace
6 I. Down The Rabbit-hole
Alice In Wonderland
!ri$htened u( at the thou$ht that she was now the ri$ht si?e &or $oin$ throu$h the little door into that lo%ely $arden. 6irst, howe%er, she waited &or a &ew -inutes to see i& she was $oin$ to shrin' any &urther: she &elt a little ner%ous a!out this0 )&or it -i$ht end, you 'now,* said Alice to hersel&, )in -y $oin$ out alto$ether, li'e a candle. I wonder what I should !e li'e then+* And she tried to &ancy what the &la-e o& a candle is li'e a&ter it is !lown out, &or she could not re-e-!er e%er ha%in$ seen such a thin$. A&ter a while, &indin$ that nothin$ -ore ha((ened, she decided on $oin$ into the $arden at once0 !ut, alas &or (oor Alice2 when she $ot to the door, she &ound she had &or$otten the little $olden 'ey, and when she went !ac' to the ta!le &or it, she &ound she could not (ossi!ly reach it: she could see it 3uite (lainly throu$h the $lass, and she tried her !est to cli-! u( one o& the ta!le"le$s, !ut it was too sli((ery0 and when she had tired hersel& out with tryin$, the (oor little thin$ sat down and cried. )Co-e, there;s no use in cryin$ li'e that2 * said Alice to hersel&, rather shar(ly. )I ad%ise you to lea%e o&& this -inute2 *,he $enerally $a%e hersel& %ery $ood ad%ice .thou$h she %ery seldo- &ollowed it/, and so-eti-es she scolded hersel& so se%erely as to !rin$ tears into her eyes0 and once she re-e-!ered tryin$ to !o5 her own ears &or ha%in$ cheated hersel& in a $a-e o& cro3uet she was (layin$ a$ainst hersel&, &or this curious child was %ery &ond o& (retendin$ to !e two (eo(le. )But it;s no use now,* thou$ht (oor Alice, )to (retend to !e two (eo(le2 Why, there;s hardly enou$h o& -e le&t to -a'e one res(ecta!le (erson2* ,oon her eye &ell on a little $lass !o5 that as lyin$ under the ta!le: she o(ened
Alice In Wonderland
it, and &ound in it a %ery s-all ca'e, on which the words )#AT 9#* were !eauti&ully -ar'ed in currants. )Well, I;ll eat it,* said Alice, )and i& it -a'es -e lar$er, I can reach the 'ey0 and i& it -a'es -e s-aller, I can cree( under the door0 so either way I;ll $et into the $arden, and I don;t care which ha((ens2 * ,he ate a little !it, and said an5iously to hersel&, )Which way+ Which way+ * holdin$ her hand on the to( o& her head to &eel which way it was $rowin$, and she was 3uite sur(rised to &ind that she re-ained the sa-e si?e: to !e sure, this $enerally ha((ens when one eats ca'e, !ut Alice had $ot so -uch into the way o& e5(ectin$ nothin$ !ut out"o&"the"way thin$s to ha((en, that it see-ed 3uite dull and stu(id &or li&e to $o on in the co--on way. ,o she set to wor', and %ery soon &inished o&& the ca'e.
I. Down The Rabbit-hole
Alice In Wonderland
II. The <ool o& Tears
)CA I1A,# and curiouser2 * cried Alice .she was so -uch sur(rised, that &or the -o-ent she 3uite &or$ot how to s(ea' $ood #n$lish/0 )now I;- o(enin$ out li'e the lar$est telesco(e that e%er was2 8ood"!ye, &eet2* .&or when she loo'ed down at her &eet, they see-ed to !e al-ost out o& si$ht, they were $ettin$ so &ar o&&/. )1h, -y (oor little &eet, I wonder who will (ut on your shoes and stoc'in$s &or you now, dears+ I;- sure I shan;t !e a!le2 I shall !e a $reat deal too &ar o&& to trou!le -ysel& a!out you: you -ust -ana$e the !est way you can " !ut I -ust !e 'ind to the-,* thou$ht Alice, )or (erha(s they won;t wal' the way I want to $o2 Let -e see: I;ll $i%e the- a new (air o& !oots e%ery Christ-as.* And she went on (lannin$ to hersel& how she would -ana$e it. )They -ust $o !y the carrier,* she thou$ht0 )and how &unny it;ll see-, sendin$ (resents to one;s own &eet2 And how odd the directions will loo'2 Alices Right Foot, Esq. Hearthrug, near the Fender, with Alices love!.
)1h dear, what nonsense I;- tal'in$2* Bust then her head struc' a$ainst the roo& o& the hall: in &act she was now -ore than nine &eet hi$h, and she at once too' u( the little $olden 'ey and hurried o&& to
II. The Pool of Tears
Alice In Wonderland
the $arden door. <oor Alice2 It was as -uch as she could do, lyin$ down on one side, to loo' throu$h into the $arden with one eye0 !ut to $et throu$h was -ore ho(eless than e%er: she sat down and !e$an to cry a$ain. )Cou ou$ht to !e asha-ed o& yoursel&,* said Alice, )a $reat $irl li'e you* .she -i$ht well say this/, )to $o on cryin$ in this way2 ,to( this -o-ent, I tell you2 *But she went on all the sa-e, sheddin$ $allons o& tears, until there was a lar$e (ool all round her, a!out &our inches dee( and reachin$ hal& down the hall. A&ter a ti-e she heard a little (atterin$ o& &eet in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was co-in$. It was the White a!!it returnin$, s(lendidly dressed, with a (air o& white 'id $lo%es in one hand and a lar$e &an in the other: he ca-e trottin$ alon$ in a $reat hurry, -utterin$ to hi-sel& as he ca-e, )1h2 the Duchess, the Duchess2 1h2 "ont she !e sa%a$e i& I;%e 'e(t her waitin$2* Alice &elt so des(erate that she was ready to as' hel( o& anyone0 so, when the a!!it ca-e near her, she !e$an, in a low, ti-id %oice, )I& you (lease, sir""* The a!!it started %iolently, dro((ed the white 'id $lo%es and the &an, and scurried away into the dar'ness as hard as he could $o. Alice too' u( the &an and $lo%es, and, as the hall was %ery hot, she 'e(t &annin$ hersel& all the ti-e she went on tal'in$: )Dear, dear2 :ow 3ueer e%erythin$ is to" day2 And yesterday thin$s went on 4ust as usual. I wonder i& I;%e !een chan$ed in the ni$ht+ Let -e thin': was I the sa-e when I $ot u( this -ornin$+ I al-ost thin' I can re-e-!er &eelin$ a little di&&erent. But i& I;- not the sa-e, the ne5t 3uestion is, Who in the world a- I+ Ah, thats the $reat (u??le2 *And she !e$an thin'in$
! II. The Pool of Tears
Alice In Wonderland
o%er all the children she 'new that were o& the sa-e a$e as hersel&, to see i& she could ha%e !een chan$ed &or any o& the-. )I;- sure I;- not Ada,* she said, )&or her hair $oes in such lon$ rin$lets, and -ine doesn;t $o in rin$lets at all0 and I;- sure I can;t !e 9a!el, &or I 'now all sorts o& thin$s, and she, oh2 she 'nows such a %ery little2 Besides, shes she, and #$ I, and "oh dear, how (u??lin$ it all is2 I;ll try to see i& I 'now all the thin$s I used to 'now. Let -e see: &our ti-es &i%e is twel%e, and &our ti-es si5 is thirteen, and &our ti-es se%en is " oh dear2 I shall ne%er $et to twenty at that rate2 :owe%er, the 9ulti(lication Ta!le doesn;t si$ni&y: let;s try 8eo$ra(hy. London is the ca(ital o& <aris, and <aris is the ca(ital o& o-e, and o-e " no, thats all wron$, I;certain2 I -ust ha%e !een chan$ed &or 9a!el2 I;ll try and say *how doth the little-) and she crossed her hands on her la( as i& she were sayin$ lessons, and !e$an to re(eat it, !ut her %oice sounded hoarse and stran$e, and the words did not co-e the sa-e as they used to do:
%How doth the little crocodile #$prove his shining tail And pour the waters of the &ile 'n every golden scale()
%How cheerfully he see$s to grin, How neatly spreads his claws, And welco$es little fishes in
Alice In Wonderland
"ith gentle s$iling *aws()
*I;- sure those are not the ri$ht words,) said (oor Alice, and her eyes &illed with tears a$ain as she went on, *I -ust !e 9a!el a&ter all, and I shall ha%e to $o and li%e in that (o'y little house, and ha%e ne5t to no toys to (lay with, and oh2 e%er so -any lessons to learn. 7o, I;%e -ade u( -y -ind a!out it0 i& I;- 9a!el, I;ll stay down here2 It;ll !e no use their (uttin$ their heads down and sayin$ )Co-e u( a$ain, dear2 = I shall only loo' u( and say *Who a- I then+ Tell -e that &irst, and then, i& I li'e !ein$ that (erson, I;ll co-e u(: i& not, I;ll stay down here till I;so-e!ody else " !ut, oh dear2) cried Alice, with a sudden !urst o& tears, *I do wish they would (ut their heads down2 I a- so very tired o& !ein$ all alone here2) As she said this she loo'ed down at her hands, and was sur(rised to see that she had (ut on one o& the a!!it;s little white 'id $lo%es while she was tal'in$. ):ow can I ha%e done that+* she thou$ht. )I -ust !e $rowin$ s-all a$ain.* ,he $ot u( and went to the ta!le to -easure hersel& !y it, and &ound that, as )nearly as she could $uess, she was now a!out two &eet hi$h, and was $oin$ on shrin'in$ ra(idly: she soon &ound out that the cause o& this was the &an she was holdin$, and she dro((ed it hastily, 4ust in ti-e to sa%e hersel& &ro- shrin'in$ away alto$ether. )That was a narrow esca(e2* said Alice, a $ood deal &ri$htened at the sudden chan$e, !ut %ery $lad to &ind hersel& still in e5istence0 )and now &or the $arden2*, and she ran with all s(eed !ac' to the little door: !ut, alas2 the little door was shut a$ain, and the little $olden 'ey was lyin$ on the $lass ta!le as !e&ore, )and thin$s are worse than e%er,* thou$ht the (oor child, )&or I ne%er was so s-all as this
" II. The Pool of Tears
Alice In Wonderland
!e&ore, ne%er2 And I declare it;s too !ad, that it is2* As she said these words her &oot sli((ed, and in another -o-ent, s(lash2 she was u( to her chin in salt water. :er &irst idea was that she had so-ehow &allen into the sea, )and in that case I can $o !ac' !y railway,* she said to hersel&. .Alice had !een to the seaside once in her li&e, and had co-e to the $eneral conclusion, that where%er you $o to on the #n$lish coast you &ind a nu-!er o& !athin$ -achines in the sea, so-e children di$$in$ in the sand with wooden s(ades, then a row o& lod$in$ houses, and !ehind the- a railway station./ :owe%er, she soon -ade out that she was in the (ool o& tears which she had we(t when she was nine &eet hi$h. )I wish I hadn;t cried so -uch2* said Alice, as she swa- a!out, tryin$ to &ind her way out. )I shall !e (unished &or it now, I su((ose !y !ein$ drowned in -y own tears2 That will !e a 3ueer thin$, to !e sure2 :owe%er, e%erythin$ is 3ueer to" day.* Bust then she heard so-ethin$ s(lashin$ a!out the (ool a little way o&&, and she swa- nearer to -a'e out what it was: at &irst she thou$ht it -ust !e a walrus or hi((o(ota-us, !ut then she re-e-!ered how s-all she was now, and she soon -ade out that it was only a -ouse that had sli((ed in li'e hersel&. )Would it !e o& any use, now,* thou$ht Alice, )to s(ea' to this -ouse+ #%erythin$ is so out"o&"the"way down here, that I should thin' %ery li'ely it can tal': at any rate, there;s no har- in tryin$.* ,o she !e$an: )1 9ouse, do you 'now the way out o& this (ool+ I a- %ery tired o& swi--in$ a!out here, 1 9ouse2* .Alice thou$ht this -ust !e the ri$ht way o&
II. The Pool of Tears 3
Alice In Wonderland
s(ea'in$ to a -ouse: she had ne%er done such a thin$ !e&ore, !ut she re-e-!ered ha%in$ seen in her !rother;s Latin 8ra--ar, )A -ouse"o& a -ouse"to a -ouse"a -ouse"1 -ouse2*/ The 9ouse loo'ed at her rather in3uisiti%ely, and see-ed to her to win' with one o& its little eyes, !ut it said nothin$. )<erha(s it doesn;t understand #n$lish,* thou$ht Alice0 )I dare say it;s a 6rench -ouse, co-e o%er with Willia- the Con3ueror.* .6or, with all her 'nowled$e o& history, Alice had no %ery clear notion how lon$ a$o anythin$ had ha((ened./ ,o she !e$an a$ain: )1u est -a chatte+ * which was the &irst sentence in her 6rench lesson"!oo'.The 9ouse $a%e a sudden lea( out o& the water, and see-ed to 3ui%er all o%er with &ri$ht. )1h, I !e$ your (ardon2 * cried Alice hastily, a&raid that she had hurt the (oor ani-al;s &eelin$s. )I 3uite &or$ot you didn;t li'e cats.* )7ot li'e cats2* cried the 9ouse, in a shrill, (assionate %oice. )Would you li'e cats i& you were -e+* )Well, (erha(s not,* said Alice in a soothin$ tone: )don;t !e an$ry a!out it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I thin' you;d ta'e a &ancy to cats i& you could only see her. ,he is such a dear 3uiet thin$,* Alice went on, hal& to hersel&, as she swa- la?ily a!out in the (ool, )and she sits (urrin$ so nicely !y the &ire, lic'in$ her (aws and washin$ her &ace " and she is such a nice so&t thin$ to nurse " and she;s such a ca(ital one &or catchin$ -ice""oh, I !e$ your (ardon2* cried Alice a$ain, &or this ti-e the 9ouse was !ristlin$ all o%er, and she &elt certain it -ust !e really o&&ended. )We won;t tal' a!out her any -ore i& you;d rather not.* )We, indeed2* cried the 9ouse, who was tre-!lin$ down to the end o& his tail. )As i& # would tal' on such a su!4ect2 1ur &a-ily always hated cats: nasty, low,
4 II. The Pool of Tears
Alice In Wonderland
%ul$ar thin$s2 Don;t let -e hear the na-e a$ain2* )I won;t indeed2* said Alice, in a $reat hurry to chan$e the su!4ect o& con%ersation. )Are you " are you &ond " o& " o& do$s+* The 9ouse did not answer, so Alice went on ea$erly: )There is such a nice little do$ near our house I should li'e to show you2 A little !ri$ht"eyed terrier, you 'now, with oh, such lon$ curly !rown hair2 And it;ll &etch thin$s when you throw the-, and it;ll sit u( and !e$ &or its dinner, and all sorts o& thin$s " I can;t re-e-!er hal& o& the- " and it !elon$s to a &ar-er, you 'now, and he says it;s so use&ul, it;s worth a hundred (ounds2 :e says it 'ills all the rats and " oh dear2* cried Alice in a sorrow&ul tone, )I;- &raid I;%e o&&ended it a$ain2* 6or the 9ouse was swi--in$ away &ro- her as hard as it could $o, and -a'in$ 3uite a co--otion in the (ool as it went.) ,o she called so&tly a&ter it, )9ouse dear2 Do co-e !ac' a$ain, and we won;t tal' a!out cats or do$s either, i& you don;t li'e the-2 *When the 9ouse heard this, it turned round and swa- slowly !ac' to her0 its &ace was 3uite (ale .with (assion, Alice thou$ht/, and it said in a low tre-!lin$ %oice, )Let us $et to the shore, and then I;ll tell you -y history, and you;ll understand why it is I hate cats and do$s.* It was hi$h ti-e to $o, &or the (ool was $ettin$ 3uite crowded with the !irds and ani-als that had &allen into it: there were a Duc' and a Dodo, a Lory and an #a$let, and se%eral other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole (arty swa- to the shore.
Alice In Wonderland
III. A Caucus" ace and a Lon$ Tale
T:#C were indeed a 3ueer"loo'in$ (arty that asse-!led on the !an' " the !irds with dra$$led &eathers, the ani-als with their &ur clin$in$ close to the-, and all dri((in$ wet, cross, and unco-&orta!le. The &irst 3uestion o& course was, how to $et dry a$ain: they had a consultation a!out this, and a&ter a &ew -inutes it see-ed 3uite natural to Alice to &ind hersel& tal'in$ &a-iliarly with the-, as i& she had 'nown the- all her li&e, she had 3uite a lon$ ar$u-ent with the Lory, who at last turned sul'y, and would only say, )I aolder than you, and -ust 'now !etter*0 and this Alice would not allow without 'nowin$ how old it was, and, as the Lory (ositi%ely re&used to tell its a$e, there was no -ore to !e said. At last the 9ouse, who see-ed to !e a (erson o& authority a-on$ the-, called out, ),it down, all o& you, and listen to -e2 #ll soon -a'e you dry enou$h2 *They all sat down at once, in a lar$e rin$, with the 9ouse in the -iddle. Alice 'e(t her eyes an5iously &i5ed on it, &or she &elt sure she would catch a !ad cold i& she did not $et dry %ery soon. )Ahe-2* said the 9ouse with an i-(ortant air. )Are you all ready+ This is the driest thin$ I 'now. ,ilence all round, i& you (lease2 *Willla- the Con3ueror, whose cause was &a%oured !y the (o(e, was soon su!-itted to !y the #n$lish, who wanted leaders, and had !een o& late -uch accusto-ed to usur(ation and con3uest. #dwin and 9orcar, the earls o& 9ercia and 7orthu-!ria"")
III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale
Alice In Wonderland
)A$h2 * said the Lory, with a shi%er. )I !e$ your (ardon2* said the 9ouse, &rownin$, !ut %ery (olitely. )Did you s(ea'+* )7ot I2* said the Lory hastily. )I thou$ht you did,* said the 9ouse." )I (roceed. #dwin and 9ordar, the earls o& 9ercia and 7orthu-!ria, declared &or hi-: and e%en ,ti$and, the (atriotic Arch!isho( o& Canter!ury, &ound it ad%isa!le""* )6ound what+* said the Duc'. )6ound it,* the 9ouse re(lied rather crossly: )o& course you 'now what =it; -eans.* )I 'now what =it; -eans well enou$h, when # &ind a thin$,* said the Duc': )it;s $enerally a &ro$ or a wor-. The 3uestion is, what did the Arch!isho( &ind+* The 9ouse did not notice this 3uestion, !ut hurriedly went on, ) "&ound it ad%isa!le to $o with #d$ar Athelin$ to -eet Willia- and o&&er hi- the crown. Willia-;s conduct at &irst was -oderate. But the insolence o& his 7or-ans"" :ow are you $ettin$ on now, -y dear+* it continued, turnin$ to Alice as it s(o'e. )As wet as e%er,* said Alice in a -elancholy tone: )it doesn;t see- to dry -e at all.* )In that case,* said the Dodo sole-nly, risin$ to its &eet, )I -o%e that the -eetin$ ad4ourn, &or the i--ediate ado(tion o& -ore ener$etic re-edies""* ),(ea' #n$lish2* said the #a$let. )I don;t 'now the -eanin$ o& hal& those lon$ words, and, what;s -ore, I don;t !elie%e you do either2 *And the #a$let !ent down its head to hide a s-ile: so-e o& the other !irds tittered audi!ly.
III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale 7
Alice In Wonderland
)What I was $oin$ to say,* said the Dodo in an o&&ended tone, )was, that the !est thin$ to $et us dry would !e a Caucus"race. * )What is a Caucus"race+* said Alice0 not that she -uch wanted to 'now, !ut the Dodo had (aused as i& it thou$ht that so$e,ody ou$ht to s(ea', and no one else see-ed inclined to say anythin$. )Why,* said the Dodo, )the !est way to e5(lain it is to do it. * .And, as you -i$ht li'e to try the thin$ yoursel& so-e winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo -ana$ed it./ 6irst it -ar'ed out a race"course, in a sort o& circle .)the e5act sha(e doesn;t -atter,* it said/, and then all the (arty were (laced alon$ the course, here and there. There was no )1ne, two, three, and away,* !ut they !e$an runnin$ when they li'ed, and le&t o&& when they li'ed, so that it was not easy to 'now when the race was o%er. :owe%er, when they had !een runnin$ hal& an hour or so, and were 3uite dry a$ain, the Dodo suddenly called out )The race is o%er2* and they all crowded round it, (antin$, and as'in$, )But who has won+* This 3uestion the Dodo could not answer without a $reat deal o& thou$ht, and it sat &or a lon$ ti-e with one &in$er (ressed u(on its &orehead .the (osition in which you usually see ,ha'es(eare, in the (ictures o& hi-/, while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, )Every,ody has won, and all -ust ha%e (ri?es.* )But who is to $i%e the (ri?es+ * 3uite a chorus o& %oices as'ed. )Why, she, o& course,* said the Dodo, (ointin$ to Alice with one &in$er0 and the whole (arty at once crowded round her, callin$ out in a con&used way, )<ri?es2 <ri?es2*
8 III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale
Alice In Wonderland
Alice had no idea what to do, and in des(air she (ut her hand in her (oc'et, and (ulled out a !o5 o& co-&its .luc'ily the salt water had not $ot into it/, and handed the- round as (ri?es. There was e5actly one a"(iece all round. )But she -ust ha%e a (ri?e hersel&, you 'now,* said the 9ouse. )1& course,* the Dodo re(lied %ery $ra%ely. )What else ha%e you $ot in your (oc'et+* he went on, turnin$ to Alice. )1nly a thi-!le,* said Alice sadly. ):and it o%er here,* said the Dodo. Then they all crowded round her once -ore, while the Dodo sole-nly (resented the thi-!le, sayin$, )We !e$ your acce(tance o& this ele$ant thi-!le*0 and, when it had &inished this short s(eech, they all cheered. Alice thou$ht the whole thin$ %ery a!surd, !ut they all loo'ed so $ra%e that she did not dare to lau$h0 and, as she could not thin' o& anythin$ to say, she si-(ly !owed, and too' the thi-!le, loo'in$ as sole-n as she could. The ne5t thin$ was to eat the co-&its: this caused so-e noise and con&usion, as the lar$e !irds co-(lained that they could not taste theirs, and the s-all ones cho'ed and had to !e (atted on the !ac'. :owe%er, it was o%er at last, and they sat down a$ain in a rin$, and !e$$ed the 9ouse to tell the- so-ethin$ -ore. )Cou (ro-ised to tell -e your history, you 'now,* said Alice, )and why it is you hate " C and D,* she added in a whis(er, hal& a&raid that It would !e o&&ended a$ain. )9ine is a lon$ and sad tale2* said the 9ouse, turnin$ to Alice and si$hin$. )It is a lon$ tail, certainly,* said Alice, loo'in$ down with wonder at the
III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale '
Alice In Wonderland
9ouse;s tail0 )!ut why do you call it sad+* And she 'e(t on (u??lin$ a!out it while the 9ouse was s(ea'in$, so that her idea o& the tale was so-ethin$ li'e this:"" 6ury said to a -ouse, That he -et in the house, )Let us !oth $o to law: I will (rosecute you.""Co-e, I;ll ta'e no denial0 We -ust ha%e a trial. 6or really this -ornin$ I;%e nothin$ to do.* ,aid the -ouse to the cur, ),uch a trial,
"! III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale
Alice In Wonderland
dear ,ir, With no 4ury or 4ud$e, would !e wastin$ our !reath.* )I;ll !e 4ud$e, I;ll !e 4ury,* said cunnin$ old 6ury: )I;ll try the whole cause, and conde-n you to
III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale "
Alice In Wonderland
death.* )Cou are not attendin$2* said the 9ouse to Alice se%erely. )What are you thin'in$ o&+* )I !e$ your (ardon,* said Alice %ery hu-!ly: )you had $ot to the &i&th !end, I thin'+* )I had not2* cried the 9ouse, an$rily. )A 'not2* said Alice, always ready to -a'e hersel& use&ul, and loo'in$ an5iously a!out her. )1h, do let -e hel(, to undo it2* )I shall do nothin$ o& the sort,* said the 9ouse, $ettin$ u( and wal'in$ away. )Cou insult -e !y tal'in$ such nonsense2* )I didn;t -ean it2* (leaded (oor Alice. )But you;re so easily o&&ended, you 'now2* The 9ouse only $rowled in re(ly. )<lease co-e !ac' and &inish your story2* Alice called a&ter it. And the others all 4oined in chorus, )Ces, (lease do2* !ut the 9ouse only shoo' its head i-(atiently and wal'ed a little 3uic'er. )What a (ity it wouldn;t stay2* si$hed the Lory, as soon as it was 3uite out o& si$ht0 and an old Cra! too' the o((ortunity o& sayin$ to her dau$hter, )Ah, -y dear2 Let this !e a lesson to you ne%er to lose your te-(er2* ):old your ton$ue, 9a2* said the youn$ Cra!, a little sna((ishly. )Cou;re enou$h to try the (atience o& an oyster2* )I wish I had our Dinah here, I 'now I do2* said Alice aloud, addressin$ no!ody in (articular. ),he;d soon &etch it !ac'2*
"" III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale
Alice In Wonderland
)And who is Dinah, i& I -i$ht %enture to as' the 3uestion+* said the Lory. Alice re(lied ea$erly, &or she was always ready to tal' a!out her (et: )Dinah;s our cat. And she;s such a ca(ital one &or catchin$ -ice, you can;t thin'2 And oh, I wish you could see her a&ter the !irds2 Why, she;ll eat a little !ird as soon as loo' at it2* This s(eech caused a re-ar'a!le sensation a-on$ the (arty. ,o-e o& the !irds hurried o&& at once: one old 9a$(ie !e$an wra((in$ itsel& u( %ery care&ully, re-ar'in$, )I really -ust !e $ettin$ ho-e0 the ni$ht"air doesn;t suit -y throat2* and a Canary called out in a tre-!lin$ %oice to its children, )Co-e away, -y dears2 It;s hi$h ti-e you were all in !ed2* 1n %arious (rete5ts they all -o%ed o&&, and Alice was soon le&t alone. )I wish I hadn;t -entioned Dinah2* she said to hersel& in a -elancholy tone. )7o!ody see-s to li'e her, down here, and I;- sure she;s the !est cat in the world2 1h, -y dear Dinah2 I wonder i& I shall e%er see you any -ore2* And here (oor Alice !e$an to cry a$ain, &or she &elt %ery lonely and low"s(irited. In a little while, howe%er, she a$ain heard a little (atterin$ o& &ootste(s in the distance, and she loo'ed u( ea$erly, hal& ho(in$ that the 9ouse had chan$ed his -ind, and was co-in$ !ac' to &inish his story.
III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale
"3
Alice In Wonderland
ID. The a!!it ,ends in a Little Bill
IT was the White a!!it, trottin$ slowly !ac' a$ain, and loo'in$ an5iously a!out as it went, as i& it had lost so-ethin$0 and she heard it -utterin$ to itsel&,)The Duchess2 The Duchess2 1h -y dear (aws2 1h -y &ur and whis'ers2 ,he;ll $et -e e5ecuted, as sure as &errets are &errets2 Where can I ha%e dro((ed the-, I wonder+* Alice $uessed in a -o-ent that it was loo'in$ &or the &an and the (air o& white 'id $lo%es, and she %ery $ood"naturedly !e$an huntin$ a!out &or the-, !ut they were nowhere to !e seen"e%erythin$ see-ed to ha%e chan$ed since her swi- in the (ool, and the $reat hall, with the $lass ta!le and the little door, had %anished co-(letely. Dery soon the a!!it noticed Alice, as she went huntin$ a!out, and called out to her in an an$ry tone,)Why, 9ary Ann, what are you doin$ out here+ un ho-e this -o-ent, and &etch -e a (air o& $lo%es and a &an2 Euic' now2* And Alice was so -uch &ri$htened that she ran o&& at once in the direction it (ointed to, without tryin$ to e5(lain the -ista'e it had -ade. ):e too' -e &or his house-aid,* she said to hersel& as she ran.):ow sur(rised he;ll !e when he &inds out who I a-2 But I;d !etter ta'e hi- his &an and $lo%es " that is, i& I can &ind the-.* As she said this, she ca-e u(on a neat little house, on the door o& which was a !ri$ht !rass (late with the na-e)W. ABBIT* en$ra%ed u(on it. ,he went in without 'noc'in$, and hurried u(stairs, in $reat &ear lest she should -eet the real 9ary Ann, and !e turned out o& the house !e&ore she had &ound the &an and $lo%es.
I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill
Alice In Wonderland
):ow 3ueer it see-s,* Alice said to hersel&,)to !e $oin$ -essa$es &or a ra!!it2 I su((ose Dinah;ll !e sendin$ -e on -essa$es ne5t2* And she !e$an &ancyin$ the sort o& thin$ that would ha((en: =9iss Alice2 Co-e here directly, and $et ready &or your wal'2;)Co-in$ in a -inute, nurse2 But I;%e $ot to watch this -ouse"hole till Dinah co-es !ac', and see that the -ouse doesn;t $et out.* 1nly I don;t thin',) Alice went on,*that they;d let Dinah sto( in the house i& it !e$an orderin$ (eo(le a!out li'e that2) By this ti-e she had &ound her way into a tidy little roo- with a ta!le in the window, and on it .as she had ho(ed/ a &an and two or three (airs o& tiny white 'id $lo%es: she too' u( the &an and a (air o& the $lo%es, and was 4ust $oin$ to lea%e the roo-, when her eye &ell u(on a little !ottle that stood near the loo'in$"$lass. There was no la!el this ti-e with the words)D I7@ 9#,* !ut ne%ertheless she uncor'ed it and (ut it to her li(s.)I 'now so$ething interestin$ is sure to ha((en,* she said to hersel&,)whene%er I eat or drin' anythin$0 so I;ll 4ust see what this !ottle does. I do ho(e it;ll -a'e -e $row lar$e a$ain, &or really I;- 3uite tired o& !ein$ such a tiny little thin$2* It did so indeed, and -uch sooner than she had e5(ected: !e&ore she had drun' hal& the !ottle, she &ound her head (ressin$ a$ainst the ceilin$, and had to stoo( to sa%e her nec' &ro- !ein$ !ro'en. ,he hastily (ut down the !ottle, sayin$ to hersel&,)That;s 3uite enou$h " I ho(e I shan;t $row any -ore " as it is, I can;t $et out at the door " I do wish I hadn;t drun' 3uite so -uch2* Alas2 it was too late to wish that2 ,he went on $rowin$, and $rowin$, and %ery soon had to 'neel down on the &loor: in another -inute there was not e%en rooI(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill "5
Alice In Wonderland
&or this, and she tried the e&&ect o& lyin$ down with one el!ow a$ainst the door, and the other ar- curled round her head. ,till she went on $rowin$, and, as a last resource, she (ut one ar- out o& the window, and one &oot u( the chi-ney, and said to hersel&,)7ow I can do no -ore, whate%er ha((ens. What will !eco-e o& -e+* Luc'ily &or Alice, the little -a$ic !ottle had now had its &ull e&&ect, and she $rew no lar$er: still it was %ery unco-&orta!le, and, as there see-ed to !e no sort o& chance o& her e%er $ettin$ out o& the roo- a$ain, no wonder she &elt unha((y. )It was -uch (leasanter at ho-e,* thou$ht (oor Alice,)when one wasn;t always $rowin$ lar$er and s-aller, and !ein$ ordered a!out !y -ice and ra!!its. I al-ost wish I hadn;t $one down that ra!!it"hole " and yet " and yet " it;s rather curious, you 'now, this sort o& li&e2 I do wonder what can ha%e ha((ened to -e2 When I used to read &airytales, I &ancied that 'ind o& thin$ ne%er ha((ened, and now here I a- in the -iddle o& one2 There ou$ht to !e a !oo' written a!out -e, that there ou$ht2 And when I $row u(, I;ll write one " !ut I;- $rown u( now,* she added in a sorrow&ul tone:)at least there;s no roo- to $row u( any -ore here.* )But then,* thou$ht Alice,)shall I never $et any older than I a- now+ That;ll !e a co-&ort, one way " ne%er to !e an old wo-an " !ut then always to ha%e lessons to learn2 1h, I shouldn;t li'e that(* )1h, you &oolish Alice2* she answered hersel&.):ow can you learn lessons in here+ Why, there;s hardly roo- &or you, and no roo- at all &or any lesson"!oo's2* And so she went on, ta'in$ &irst one side and then the other, and -a'in$ 3uite a con%ersation o& it alto$ether0 !ut a&ter a &ew -inutes she heard a %oice outside, and
"6 I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill
Alice In Wonderland
sto((ed to listen. )9ary Ann2 9ary Ann2* said the %oice.)6etch -e -y $lo%es this -o-ent2* Then ca-e a little (atterin$ o& &eet on the stairs. Alice 'new it was the a!!it co-in$ to loo' &or her, and she tre-!led till she shoo' the house, 3uite &or$ettin$ that she was now a!out a thousand ti-es as lar$e as the a!!it, and had no reason to !e a&raid o& it. <resently the a!!it ca-e u( to the door, and tried to o(en it0 !ut, as the door o(ened inwards, and Alice;s el!ow was (ressed hard a$ainst it, that atte-(t (ro%ed a &ailure. Alice heard it say to itsel&,)Then I;ll $o round and $et in at the window.* )-hat you won;t2* thou$ht Alice, and, a&ter waitin$ till she &ancied she heard the a!!it 4ust under the window, she suddenly s(read out her hand, and -ade a snatch in the air. ,he did not $et hold o& anythin$, !ut she heard a little shrie' and a &all, and a crash o& !ro'en $lass, &ro- which she concluded that it was 4ust (ossi!le it had &allen into a cucu-!er"&ra-e, or so-ethin$ o& the sort. 7e5t ca-e an an$ry %oice " the a!!it;s ")<at2 <at2 Where are you+*And then a %oice she had ne%er heard !e&ore,),ure then I;- here2 Di$$in$ &or a((les, yer honour2* )Di$$in$ &or a((les, indeed2* said the a!!it an$rily.):ere2 Co-e and hel( -e out o& this(* .,ounds o& -ore !ro'en $lass./ )7ow tell -e, <at, what;s that in the window+* ),ure, it;s an ar-, yer honour2* .:e (ronounced it)arru-.*/ )An ar-, you $oose2 Who e%er saw one that si?e+ Why, it &ills the whole window2*
I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill "7
Alice In Wonderland
),ure, it does, yer honour: !ut it;s an ar- &or all that.* )Well, it;s $ot no !usiness there, at any rate: $o and ta'e it away2* There was a lon$ silence a&ter this, and Alice could only hear whis(ers now and then0 such as,),ure, I don;t li'e it, yer honour, at all, at all2*)Do as I tell you, you coward2* and at last she s(read out her hand a$ain, and -ade another snatch in the air. This ti-e there were two little shrie's, and -ore sounds o& !ro'en $lass.)What a nu-!er o& cucu-!er"&ra-es there -ust !e2* thou$ht Alice.)I wonder what they;ll do ne5t2 As &or (ullin$ -e out o& the window, I only wish they could( I;- sure # don;t want to stay in here any lon$er2* ,he waited &or so-e ti-e without hearin$ anythin$ -ore: at last ca-e a ru-!lin$ o& little cartwheels, and the sound o& a $ood -any %oices all tal'in$ to$ether: she -ade out the words:)Where;s the other ladder+ "Why, I hadn;t to !rin$ !ut one0 Bill;s $ot the other " Bill2 6etch it here, lad2 :ere, (ut =e- u( at this corner " 7o, tie ;e- to$ether &irst " they don;t reach hal& hi$h enou$h yet " 1h2 they;ll do well enou$h0 don;t !e (articular " :ere, Bill2 catch hold o& this ro(e " Will the roo& !ear+ " 9ind that loose slate " 1h, it;s co-in$ down2 :eads !elow2* .a loud crash/ " )7ow, who did that+ " It was Bill, I &ancy " Who;s to $o down the chi-ney+ "" 7ay, # shan;t2 .ou do it2 "-hat # won;t, then2 " Bill;s to $o down " :ere, Bill2 the -aster says you;%e to $o down the chi-ney2* )1h2 ,o Bill;s $ot to co-e down the chi-ney, has he+* said Alice to hersel&. )Why, they see- to (ut e%erythin$ u(on Bill2 I wouldn;t !e in Bill;s (lace &or a $ood deal: this &ire(lace is narrow, to !e sure0 !ut I think # can 'ic' a little2* ,he drew her &oot as &ar down the chi-ney as she could, and waited till she
"8 I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill
Alice In Wonderland
heard a little ani-al .she couldn;t $uess o& what sort it was/ scratchin$ and scra-!lin$ a!out in the chi-ney close a!o%e her: then, sayin$ to hersel&, )This is Bill,* she $a%e one shar( 'ic', and waited to see what would ha((en ne5t. The &irst thin$ she heard was a $eneral chorus o& )There $oes Bill2* then the a!!it;s %oice alone )Catch hi-, you !y the hed$e2* then silence, and then, another con&usion o& %oices " ):old u( his head " Brandy now " Don;t cho'e hi- " :ow was it, old &ellow+ What ha((ened to you+ Tell us all a!out it2* At last ca-e a little &ee!le, s3uea'in$ %oice .)That;s Bill,* thou$ht Alice/,)Well, I hardly 'now " 7o -ore, than' ye0 I;- !etter now " !ut I;- a deal too &lustered to tell you " all I 'now is, so-ethin$ co-es at -e li'e a Bac'"in"the" !o5, and u( I $oes li'e a s'y"roc'et2* ),o you did, old &ellow2* said the others. )We -ust !urn the house down2* said the a!!it;s %oice. And Alice called out as loud as she could,)I& you do, I;ll set Dinah at you2* There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thou$ht to hersel&, )I wonder what they will do ne5t2 I& they had any sense, they;d ta'e the roo& 1&&. *A&ter a -inute or two, they !e$an -o%in$ a!out a$ain, and Alice heard the a!!it say, )A !arrow&ul will do, to !e$in with.* )A !arrow&ul"o& what+* thou$ht Alice. But she had not lon$ to dou!t, &or the ne5t -o-ent a shower o& little (e!!les ca-e rattlin$ in at the window, and so-e o& the- hit her in the &ace. )I;ll (ut a sto( to this,* she said to hersel&, and shouted out, )Cou;d !etter not do that a$ain2* which (roduced another dead silence. Alice noticed with so-e sur(rise that the (e!!les were all turnin$ into little
I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill "'
Alice In Wonderland
ca'es as they lay on the &loor, and a !ri$ht idea ca-e into her head. )I& I eat one o& these ca'es,* she thou$ht,)it;s sure to -a'e so$e chan$e in -y si?e0 and, as it can;t (ossi!ly -a'e -e lar$er, it -ust -a'e -e s-aIler, I su((ose.* ,o she swallowed one o& the ca'es, and was deli$hted to &ind that she !e$an shrin'in$ directly. As soon as she was s-all enou$h to $et throu$h the door, she ran out o& the house, and &ound 3uite a crowd o& little ani-als and !irds waitin$ outside. The (oor little Li?ard, Bill, was in the -iddle, !ein$ held u( !y two $uinea"(i$s, who were $i%in$ it so-ethin$ out o& a !ottle. They all -ade a rush at Alice the -o-ent she a((eared0 !ut she ran o&& as hard as she could, and soon &ound hersel& sa&e in a thic' wood. )The &irst thin$ I;%e $ot to do,* said Alice to hersel&, as she wandered a!out in the wood,)is to $row to -y ri$ht si?e a$ain0 and the second thin$ is to &ind -y way into that lo%ely $arden. I thin' that will !e the !est (lan.* It sounded an e5cellent (lan, no dou!t, and %ery neatly and si-(ly arran$ed0 the only di&&iculty was, that she had not the s-allest idea how to set a!out it0 and, while she was (eerin$ a!out an5iously a-on$ the trees, a little !ar' 4ust o%er her head -ade her loo' u( in a $reat hurry. An enor-ous (u((y was loo'in$ down at her with lar$e round eyes, and &ee!ly stretchin$ out one (aw, tryin$ to touch her. )<oor little thin$2* said Alice, in a coa5in$ tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it0 !ut she was terri!ly &ri$htened all the ti-e at the thou$ht that it -i$ht !e hun$ry, in which case it would !e %ery li'ely to eat her u( in s(ite o& all her coa5in$. :ardly 'nowin$ what she did, she (ic'ed u( a little !it o& stic', and held it out
3! I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill
Alice In Wonderland
to the (u((y0 whereu(on the (u((y 4u-(ed into the air o&& all its &eet at once, with a yel( o& deli$ht, and rushed at the stic', and -ade !elie%e to worry it0 then Alice dod$ed !ehind a $reat thistle, to 'ee( hersel& &ro- !ein$ run o%er0 and, the -o-ent she a((eared on the other side, the (u((y -ade another rush at the stic', and tu-!led head o%er heels in its hurry to $et hold o& it0 then Alice, thin'in$ it was %ery li'e ha%in$ a $a-e o& (lay with a cart"horse, and e5(ectin$ e%ery -o-ent to !e tra-(led under its &eet, ran round the thistle a$ain0 then the (u((y !e$an a series o& short char$es at the stic', runnin$ a %ery little way &orwards each ti-e and a lon$ way !ac', and !ar'in$ hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a $ood way o&&, (antin$, with its ton$ue han$in$ out o& its -outh, and its $reat eyes hal& shut. This see-ed to Alice a $ood o((ortunity &or -a'in$ her esca(e0 so she set o&& at once, and ran till she was 3uite tired and out o& !reath, and till the (u((y;s !ar' sounded 3uite &aint in the distance. )And yet what a dear little (u((y it was2* said Alice, as she leant a$ainst a !uttercu( to rest hersel&, and &anned hersel& with one o& the lea%es. )I should ha%e li'ed teachin$ it tric's %ery -uch, i& I;d only !een the ri$ht si?e to do it2 1h dear2 I;d nearly &or$otten that I;%e $ot to $row u( a$ain2 Let -e see " how is it to !e -ana$ed+ I su((ose I ou$ht to eat or drin' so-ethin$ or other0 !ut the $reat 3uestion is, what+* The $reat 3uestion certainly was, what+ Alice loo'ed all round her at the &lowers and the !lades o& $rass, !ut she could not see anythin$ that loo'ed li'e the ri$ht thin$ to eat or drin' under the circu-stances. There was a lar$e -ushrooI(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill 3
Alice In Wonderland
$rowin$ near her, a!out the sa-e wei$ht as hersel&0 and, when she had loo'ed under it, and on !oth sides o& it, and !ehind it, it occurred to her that she -i$ht as well loo' and see what was on the to( o& it. ,he stretched hersel& u( on ti(toe, and (ee(ed o%er the ed$e o& the -ushroo-, and her eyes i--ediately -et those o& a lar$e !lue cater(illar, that was sittin$ on the to( with its ar-s &olded 3uietly s-o'in$ a lon$ hoo'ah, and ta'in$ not the s-allest notice o& her or o& anythin$ else.
3"
I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill
Alice In Wonderland
D. Ad%ice &ro- a Cater(illar
T:# Cater(illar and Alice loo'ed at each other &or so-e ti-e in silence: at last the Cater(illar too' the hoo'ah out o& its -outh, and addressed her in a lan$uid slee(y %oice. )Who are you+* said the Cater(illar. This was not an encoura$in$ o(enin$ &or a con%ersation. Alice re(lied, rather shyly, )I " I hardly 'now, sir, 4ust at (resent " at least I 'now who I was when I $ot u( this -ornin$, !ut I thin' I -ust ha%e !een chan$ed se%eral ti-es since then.* )What do you -ean !y that+ * said the Cater(illar sternly. )#5(lain yoursel&2* )I can;t e5(lain $yself, I;- a&raid, sir,* said Alice, )!ecause I;- not -ysel&, you see.* )I don;t see,* said the Cater(illar. )I;- a&raid I can;t (ut it -ore clearly,* Alice re(lied %ery (olitely, )&or I can;t understand it -ysel& to !e$in with0 and !ein$ so -any di&&erent si?es in a day is %ery con&usin$.* )It isn;t,* said the Cater(illar. )Well, (erha(s you ha%en;t &ound it so yet,* said Alice0 )!ut when you ha%e to turn into a chrysalis you will so-e day, you 'now " and then a&ter that into a !utter&ly, I should thin' you;ll &eel it a little 3ueer, won;t you+* )7ot a !it,* said the Cater(illar. )Well, (erha(s your &eelin$s -ay !e di&&erent,* said Alice0 )all I 'now is, it
(. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar
Alice In Wonderland
would &eel %ery 3ueer to $e.* )Cou2* said the Cater(illar conte-(tuously. )Who are you+* Which !rou$ht the- !ac' a$ain to the !e$innin$ o& the con%ersation. Alice &elt a little irritated at the cater(illar;s -a'in$ such very short re-ar's, and she drew hersel& u( and said, %ery $ra%ely, )I thin' you ou$ht to tell -e who you are, &irst.* )Why+* said the Cater(illar. :ere was another (u??lin$ 3uestion0 and as Alice could not thin' o& any $ood reason, and as the Cater(illar see-ed to !e in a very un(leasant state o& -ind, she turned away. )Co-e !ac'2* the Cater(illar called a&ter her. )I;%e so-ethin$ i-(ortant to say2* This sounded (ro-isin$, certainly: Alice turned and ca-e !ac' a$ain. )@ee( your te-(er,* said the Cater(illar. )Is that all+* said Alice, swallowin$ down her an$er as well as she could. )7o,* said the Cater(illar. Alice thou$ht she -i$ht as well wait, as she had nothin$ else to do, and (erha(s a&ter all it -i$ht tell her so-ethin$ worth hearin$. 6or so-e -inutes it (u&&ed away without s(ea'in$, !ut at last it un&olded its ar-s, too' the hoo'ah out o& its -outh a$ain, and said, ),o you thin' you;re chan$ed, do you+* )I;- a&raid I a-, sir,* said Alice0 )I can;t re-e-!er thin$s as I used " and I don;t 'ee( the sa-e si?e &or ten -inutes to$ether2* )Can;t re-e-!er what thin$s+* said the Cater(illar. )Well, I;%e tried to say =How doth the little ,usy ,ee,; !ut it all ca-e di&&erent2*
34 (. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar
Alice In Wonderland
Alice re(lied in a %ery -elancholy %oice. ) e(eat =.ou are old, Father "illia$,;* said the Cater(illar. Alice &olded her hands, and !e$an:"" ).ou are old, Father "illia$,% the young $an said, )And your hair has ,eco$e very white/ And yet you incessantly stand on your head-0o you think, at your age, it is right+%
)#n $y youth,% Father "illia$ replied to his son, )# feared it $ight in*ure the ,rain/ 1ut, now that #$ perfectly sure # have none, "hy, # do it again and again.%
).ou are old,% said the youth, )as # $entioned ,efore, And have grown $ost unco$$only fat/ .et you turned a ,ack-so$ersault in at the door-2ray, what is the reason of that+%
)#n $y youth,% said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, )# kept all $y li$,s very supple ,y the use of this oint$ent--one shilling the ,o3-Allow $e to sell you a couple+%
(. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar 35
Alice In Wonderland
).ou are old,% said the youth, )and your *aws are too weak For anything tougher than suet/ .et you finished the goose, with the ,ones and the ,eak2ray, how did you $anage to do it+%
)#n $y youth% said his father, )# took the law. And argued each case with $y wife And the $uscular strength, which it gave to $y *aw, Has lasted the rest of $y life.%
).ou are old,% said the youth, )'ne would hardly suppose -hat your eye was as steady as ever/ .et you ,alanced an eel on the end of your nose-"hat $ade you so awfully clever+%
)# have answered three questions, and that is enough% 4aid his father/ )dont give yourself airs( 0o you think # can listen all day to such stuff+ 1e off, or #ll kick you downstairs(%
)That is not said ri$ht,* said the Cater(illar. )7ot quite ri$ht, I;- a&raid,* said Alice, ti-idly0 so-e o& the words ha%e $ot
Alice In Wonderland
altered.) )It is wron$ &ro- !e$innin$ to end,* said the Cater(illar decidedly, and there was silence &or so-e -inutes. The Cater(illar was the &irst to s(ea'. )What si?e do you want to !e+* it as'ed. )1h, I;- not (articular as to si?e,* Alice hastily re(lied0 )1nly one doesn;t li'e chan$in$ so o&ten, you 'now.* )I dont 'now,* said the Cater(illar. Alice said nothin$: she had ne%er !een so -uch contradicted in all her li&e !e&ore, and she &elt that she was losin$ her te-(er. )Are you content now+* said the Cater(illar. )Well, I should li'e to !e a little lar$er, sir, i& you wouldn;t -ind,* said Alice: )three inches is such a wretched hei$ht to !e.* )It is a %ery $ood hei$ht indeed2* said the Cater(illar an$rily, rearin$ itsel& u(ri$ht as it s(o'e .it was e5actly three inches hi$h/. )But I;- not used to it2* (leaded (oor Alice in a (iteous tone. And she thou$ht to hersel&, )I wish the creatures wouldn;t !e so easily o&&ended2* )Cou;ll $et used to it in ti-e,* said the Cater(illar0 and it (ut the hoo'ah into its -outh and !e$an s-o'in$ a$ain. This ti-e Alice waited (atiently until it chose to s(ea' a$ain. In a -inute or two the Cater(illar too' the hoo'ah out o& its -outh and yawned once or twice, and shoo' itsel&. Then it $ot down o&& the -ushroo-, and crawled away into the $rass -erely re-ar'in$ as it went, )1ne side will -a'e you $row taller, and the other
(. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar 37
Alice In Wonderland
side will -a'e you $row shorter.* )1ne side o& what+ The other side o& what+* thou$ht Alice to hersel&. )1& the -ushroo-,* said the Cater(illar, 4ust i& she had as'ed it aloud0 and in another -o-ent it was out o& si$ht. Alice re-ained loo'in$ thou$ht&ully at the -ushroo- roo- &or a -inute, tryin$ to -a'e out which we the two sides o& it0 and as it was (er&ectly round, she &ound this a %ery di&&icult 3uestion. :owe%er, at last she stretched her ar-s round it as &ar as they would $o, and !ro'e o&& a !it o& the ed$e with each hand. )And now which is which+* she said to hersel&, and ni!!led a little o& the ri$ht" hand !it to try the e&&ect0 the ne5t -o-ent she &elt a %iolent !low underneath her chin: it had struc' her &oot2 ,he was a $ood deal &ri$htened !y this %ery sudden chan$e, !ut she &elt that there was no ti-e to !e lost, as she was shrin'in$ ra(idly0 so she set to wor' at once to eat so-e o& the other !it. :er chin was (ressed so closely a$ainst her &oot, that there was hardly roo-, to o(en her -outh0 !ut she did it at last, and -ana$ed to swallow a -orsel o& the le&t"hand !it. )Co-e, -y head;s &ree at last2* said Alice in a tone o& deli$ht, which chan$ed into alar- in another -o-ent, when she &ound that her shoulders were nowhere to !e &ound: all she could see, when he loo'ed down, was an i--ense len$th o& nec', which see-ed to rise li'e a stal' out o& a sea o& $reen lea%es that lay &ar !elow her. )What can all that $reen stu&& !e+* said Alice. )And where have -y shoulders $ot to+ = And oh, -y (oor hands, how is it I can;t see you+* ,he was -o%in$ thea!out as she s(o'e, !ut no result see-ed to &ollow, e5ce(t a little sha'in$ a-on$
Alice In Wonderland
the distant $reen lea%es. As there see-ed to !e no chance o& $ettin$ her hands u( to her head, she tried to $et her head down to the-, and was deli$hted to &ind that her nec' would !end a!out easily in any direction, li'e a ser(ent. ,he had 4ust succeeded in cur%in$ it own into a $race&ul ?i$?a$, and was $oin$ to di%e in a-on$ the lea%es, which she &ound to !e nothin$ !ut the to(s o& the trees under which she had !een wanderin$, when a shar( hiss -ade her draw !ac' in a hurry: a lar$e (i$eon had &lown into her &ace, and was !eatin$ her %iolently with its win$s. ),er(ent2* screa-ed the <i$eon. )I;- not a ser(ent2* said) Alice indi$nantly. *Let -e alone2) ),er(ent, I say a$ain2* re(eated the <i$eon, !ut in a -ore su!dued tone, and added with a 'ind o& so!, )I;%e tried e%ery way, and nothin$ see-s to suit the-2* )I ha%en;t the least idea what you;re tal'in$ a!out,* said Alice. )I;%e tried the roots o& trees, and I;%e tried, !an's and I;%e tried hed$es,* the <i$eon went on, without attendin$ to her0 )!ut those ser(ents2 There;s no (leasin$ the-2* Alice was -ore and -ore (u??led, !ut she thou$ht there was no use sayin$ anythin$ -ore till the <i$eon had &inished. )As i& it wasn;t trou!le enou$h hatchin$ the e$$s,* said the <i$eon0 )!ut I -ust !e on the loo' out &or ser(ents ni$ht and day2 Why, I ha%en;t had a win' o& slee( these three wee's2* )I;- %ery sorry you;%e !een annoyed,* said Alice, who was !e$innin$ to see its -eanin$.
(. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar 3'
Alice In Wonderland
)And 4ust as I;d ta'en the hi$hest tree in the wood,* continued the <i$eon, raisin$ its %oice to a shrie', )and 4ust as I was thin'in$ I should !e &ree o& the- at last, they, -ust needs co-e wri$$lin$ down &ro- the s'y2 A$h, ,er(ent2* )But I;- not a ser(ent, I tell you2* said Alice )I;- a""I;- a""* )Well2 "hat are you+* said the <i$eon. )I can see you;re tryin$ to in%ent so-ethin$2* )I""I;- a little $irl,* said Alice, rather dou!t&ully, as she re-e-!ered the nu-!er o& chan$es she had $one throu$h that day. )A li'ely story indeed2* said the <i$eon in tone o& the dee(est conte-(t. )I;%e seen a $ood -any little $irls in -y ti-e, !ut ne%er one with such a nec' as that2 7o, no2 Cou;re a ser(ent0 and there;s no use denyin$ it. I su((ose you;ll !e tellin$ -e ne5t that you ne%er tasted an e$$2* )I have tasted e$$s, certainly,* said Alice, who was a %ery truth&ul child0 )!ut little $irls eat e$$s 3uite as -uch as ser(ents do, you 'now.* )I don;t !elie%e it,* said the <i$eon0 )!ut i& they do, why, then they;re a 'ind o& ser(ent, that;s all I can say.* This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was 3uite silent &or a -inute or two, which $a%e the (i$eon the o((ortunity o& addin$, )Cou;re loo'in$ &or e$$s, I 'now that well enou$h0 and what does -atter to -e whether you;re a little $irl or a ser(ent+* )It -atters a $ood deal to $e,* said Alice hastily0 )!ut I;- not loo'in$ &or e$$s, as it ha((ens0 and i& I was, I shouldn;t want yours: I don;t li'e the- raw.* )Well, !e o&& then2* said the <i$eon in a sul'y tone, as it settled down a$ain into
4! (. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar
Alice In Wonderland
its nest. Alice crouched down a-on$ the trees as well as she could, &or her nec' 'e(t $ettin$ entan$led a-on$ the !ranches, and e%ery now and then she had to sto( and untwist it. A&ter a while she re-e-!ered that she still held the (ieces o& -ushroo- in her hands, and she set to wor' %ery care&ully, ni!!lin$ it at one and then at the other, and $rowin$ so-eti-es taller and so-eti-es shorter, until she had succeeded in !rin$in$ hersel& down to her usual hei$ht. It was so lon$ since she had !een anythin$ near the ri$ht si?e, that it &elt 3uite stran$e at &irst0 !ut she $ot used to it in a &ew -inutes, and !e$an tal'in$ to hersel&, as usual. )Co-e, there;s hal& -y (lan done now2 :ow (u??lin$ all these chan$es are2 I;- ne%er sure what I;- $oin$ to !e, &ro- one -inute to another2 :owe%er, I;%e $ot !ac' to -y ri$ht si?e: the ne5t thin$ is, to $et into that !eauti&ul $arden" how is that to !e done, I wonder+ *As she said this, she ca-e suddenly u(on an o(en (lace, with a little house in it a!out &our &eet hi$h. )Who e%er li%es there,* thou$ht Alice, )it;ll ne%er do to co-e u(on the- this si?e: why, I should &ri$hten the- out o& their wits2* ,o she !e$an ni!!lin$ at the ri$ht"hand !it a$ain, and did not %enture to $o near the house till she had !rou$ht hersel& down to nine inches hi$h.
(. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar
Alice In Wonderland
DI. <i$ and <e((er
61 a -inute or two she stood loo'in$ at the house, and wonderin$ what to do ne5t, when suddenly a &oot-an in li%ery ca-e runnin$ out o& the wood " .she considered hi- to !e a &oot-an !ecause he was in li%ery: otherwise, 4ud$in$ !y his &ace only she would ha%e called hi- a &ish/ " and ra((ed loudly at the door with his 'nuc'les. It was o(ened !y another &oot-an in li%ery, with a round &ace, and lar$e eyes li'e a &ro$0 and !oth &oot-en, Alice noticed, had (owdered hair that curled all o%er their heads. ,he &elt %ery curious to 'now what it was all a!out, and cre(t a little way out o& the wood to listen. The 6ish"6oot-an !e$an !y (roducin$ &ro- under his ar- a $reat letter, nearly as lar$e as hi-sel&, and this he handed o%er to the other, sayin$, in a sole-n tone, )6or the Duchess. An in%itation &ro- the Eueen to (lay cro3uet. *The 6ro$" 6oot-an re(eated, in the sa-e sole-n tone, only chan$in$ the order o& the words a little, )6ro- the Eueen. An in%itation &or the Duchess to (lay cro3uet. * Then they !oth !owed low, and their curls $ot entan$led to$ether. Alice lau$hed so -uch at this, that she had to run !ac' into the wood &or &ear o& their hearin$ her0 and, when she ne5t (ee(ed out, the 6ish"6oot-an was $one, and the other was sittin$ on the $round near the door, starin$ stu(idly u( into the s'y. Alice went ti-idly u( to the door, and 'noc'ed. )There;s no sort o& use in 'noc'in$,* said the 6oot-an, )and that &or two reasons. 6irst, !ecause I;- on the sa-e side o& the door as you are, secondly,
(I. Pi& and Pe--er
Alice In Wonderland
!ecause they;re -a'in$ such a noise inside, no one could (ossi!ly hear you.* And certainly there was a -ost e5traordinary noise $oin$ on within " a constant howlin$ and snee?in$, and e%ery now and then a $reat crash, as i& a dish or 'ettle had !een !ro'en to (ieces. )<lease, then,* said Alice, )how a- I to $et in+* )There -i$ht !e so-e sense in your 'noc'in$,* the 6oot-an went on without attendin$ to her, )i& we had the door !etween us. 6or instance, i& you were inside, you -i$ht 'noc', and I could let you out, you 'now.* :e was loo'in$ u( into the s'y all the ti-e he was s(ea'in$, and this Alice thou$ht decidedly unci%il. )But (erha(s he can;t hel( it, she said to hersel&0 *his eyes are so very nearly at the to( o& his head. But at any rate he -i$ht answer 3uestions. ):ow a- I to $et in+* she re(eated aloud. )I shall sit here,* the 6oot-an re-ar'ed, )till to-orrow""* At this -o-ent the door o& the house o(ened, and a lar$e (late ca-e s'i--in$ out, strai$ht at the 6oot-an;s head: it 4ust $ra?ed his nose, and !ro'e to (ieces a$ainst one o& the trees !ehind hi-. )""or ne5t day, -ay!e,* the 6oot-an continued in the sa-e tone, e5actly as i& nothin$ had ha((ened. ):ow a- I to $et in+* as'ed Alice a$ain, in a louder tone. )Are you to $et in at all+* said the 6oot-an )That;s the &irst 3uestion, you 'now.* It was, no dou!t: only Alice did not li'e to !e told so. )It;s really dread&ul,* she -uttered to hersel&, )the way all the creatures ar$ue. It;s enou$h to dri%e one
(I. Pi& and Pe--er 43
Alice In Wonderland
cra?y2* The 6oot-an see-ed to thin' this a $ood o((ortunity &or re(eatin$ his re-ar', with %ariations )I shall sit here,* he said, )on and o&&, &or days and days.* )But what a- I to do+* said Alice. )Anythin$ you li'e,* said the 6oot-an, and !e$an whistlin$. )1h, there;s no use in tal'in$ to hi-,* said Alice des(erately: )he;s (er&ectly idiotic2* And she o(ened the door and went in. The door led ri$ht into a lar$e 'itchen, which was &ull o& s-o'e &ro- one end to the other: the Duchess was sittin$ on a three"le$$ed stool in the -iddle, nursin$ a !a!y0 the coo' was leanin$ o%er the &ire, stirrin$ a lar$e cauldron which see-ed to !e &ull o& sou(. )There;s certainly too -uch (e((er in that sou(2* Alice said to hersel&, as well as she could &or snee?in$. There was certainly too -uch o& it in the air. #%en the Duchess snee?ed occasionally0 and the !a!y was snee?in$ and howlin$ alternately without a -o-ent;s (ause. The only thin$s in the 'itchen that did not snee?e were the coo', and a lar$e cat which was sittin$ on the hearth and $rinnin$ &ro- ear to ear. )<lease would you tell -e,* said Alice a little ti-idly, &or she was not 3uite sure whether it was $ood -anners &or her to s(ea' &irst, )why your cat $rins li'e that+* )It;s a Cheshire cat,* said the Duchess, )and that;s why. <i$2* ,he said the last word with such sudden %iolence that Alice 3uite 4u-(ed0 !ut she saw in another -o-ent that it was addressed to the !a!y, and not her, so she too' coura$e, and went on a$ain:""
44 (I. Pi& and Pe--er
Alice In Wonderland
)I didn;t 'now that Cheshire cats always $rinned0 in &act, I didn;t 'now that cats could $rin.* )They all can,* said the Duchess0 )and -ost o& =e- do.* )I don;t 'now o& any that do,* Alice said %ery (olitely, &eelin$ 3uite (leased to ha%e $ot into a con%ersation. )Cou don;t 'now -uch,* said the Duchess0 )and that;s a &act.* Alice did not at all li'e the tone o& this re-ar', and thou$ht it would !e as well to introduce so-e other su!4ect o& con%ersation. While she was tryin$ to &i5 on one, the coo' too' the cauldron o& sou( o&& the &ire, and at once set to wor' throwin$ e%erythin$ within her reach at the Duchess and the !a!y " the &ire"irons ca-e &irst0 then &ollowed a shower o& sauce(ans, (lates, and dishes. The Duchess too' no notice o& the- e%en when they hit her0 and the !a!y was howlin$ so -uch already, that it was 3uite i-(ossi!le to say whether the !lows hurt it or not. )1h, please -ind what you;re doin$2* cried Alice, 4u-(in$ u( and down in an a$ony o& terror )1h, there $oes his precious nose2* as an unusually lar$e sauce(an &lew close !y it, and %ery nearly carried it o&&. )I& e%ery!ody -inded their own !usiness,* the Duchess said in a hoarse $rowl, )the world would $o round a deal &aster than it does.* )Which would not !e an ad%anta$e,* said Alice, who &elt %ery $lad to $et an o((ortunity o& showin$ o&& a little o& her 'nowled$e. )Bust thin' what wor' it would -a'e with the day and ni$ht2 Cou see, the earth ta'es twenty"&our hours to turn round on its a5is""* )Tal'in$ o& a5es,* said the Duchess, )cho( o&& her head2*
Alice In Wonderland
Alice $lanced rather an5iously at the coo', to see i& she -eant to ta'e the hint0 !ut the coo' was !usily en$a$ed in stirrin$ the sou(, and did not see- to !e listenin$, so she %entured to $o on a$ain )Twenty"&our hours, I think0 or is it twel%e+ I""* )1h, don;t !other $e,* said the Duchess0 )I ne%er could a!ide &i$ures2* And with that she !e$an nursin$ her child a$ain, sin$in$ a sort o& lulla!y to it as she did so, and $i%in$ it a %iolent sha'e at the end o& e%ery line:"" )4peak roughly to your little ,oy, And ,eat hi$ when he snee5es6 He only does it to annoy, 1ecause he knows it teases. %
C:1 A, .In which the coo' and !a!y 4oined/: )"ow( wow( wow( * While the Duchess san$ the second %erse o& the son$, she 'e(t tossin$ the !a!y %iolently u( and down, and the (oor little thin$ howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:"" )# speak severely to $y ,oy, # ,eat hi$ when he snee5es/ For he can thoroughly en*oy -he pepper when he pleases(* C:1 A, )"ow( wow( wow(* ):ere2 Cou -ay nurse it a !it, i& you li'e2* the Duchess said to Alice, &lin$in$ the !a!y at her as she s(o'e. )I -ust $o and $et ready to (lay cro3uet with the
Alice In Wonderland
Eueen,* and she hurried out o& he roo-. The coo' threw a &ryin$"(an a&ter her as she went out, !ut it 4ust -issed her. Alice cau$ht the !a!y with so-e di&&iculty, as it was a 3ueer"sha(ed little creature, and held out its ar-s and le$s in all directions, )4ust li'e a star&ish,* thou$ht Alice. The (oor little thin$ was snortin$ li'e a stea-"en$ine when she cau$ht it, and 'e(t dou!lin$ itsel& u( and strai$htenin$ itsel& out a$ain, so that alto$ether, &or the &irst -inute or two, it was as -uch as she could do to hold it. As soon as she had -ade out the (ro(er way o& nursin$ it .which was to twist it u( into a sort o& 'not and then 'ee( ti$ht hold o& its ri$ht ear and le&t &oot so as to (re%ent its undoin$ itsel&/, she carried it out into the o(en air. )I& I don;t ta'e this child away with -e,* thou$ht Alice, )they;re sure to 'ill it in a day or two: wouldn;t it !e -urder to lea%e it !ehind+* ,he said the last words out loud, and the little thin$ $runted in re(ly .it had le&t o&& snee?in$ !y this ti-e/. )Don;t $runt,* said Alice0 )that;s not at all a (ro(er way o& e5(ressin$ yoursel&.* The !a!y $runted a$ain, and Alice loo'ed %ery an5iously into its &ace to see what was the -atter with it. There could !e no dou!t that it had a %ery turn"u( nose, -uch -ore li'e a snout than a real nose0 also its eyes were $ettin$ e5tre-ely s-all &or a !a!y: alto$ether Alice did not li'e the loo' o& the thin$ at all. )But (erha(s it was only so!!in$,* she thou$ht, and loo'ed into its eyes a$ain, to see i& there were any tears. 7o, there were no tears. )I& you;re $oin$ to turn into a (i$, -y dear,* said Alice seriously, )I;ll ha%e nothin$ -ore to do with you. 9ind now2* The (oor little thin$ so!!ed a$ain .or $runted, it was i-(ossi!le to say which/, and they went on &or
Alice In Wonderland
so-e while in silence. Alice was 4ust !e$innin$ to thin' to hersel&, )7ow, what a- I to do with this creature when I $et it ho-e+ * when it $runted a$ain, so %iolently, that she loo'ed down into its &ace in so-e alar-. This ti-e there could !e no -ista'e a!out it: it was neither -ore nor less than a (i$, and she &elt that it would !e 3uite a!surd &or her to carry it any &urther. ,o she set the little creature down, and &elt 3uite relie%ed to see it trot away 3uietly into the wood. I& it had $rown u(,) she said to hersel&, *it would ha%e -ade a dread&ully u$ly child: !ut it -a'es rather a handso-e (i$, I thin'. )And she !e$an thin'in$ o%er other children she 'new, who -i$ht do %ery well as (i$s, and was 4ust sayin$ to hersel&, *i& one only 'new the ri$ht way to chan$e the- ") when she was a little startled !y seein$ the Cheshire Cat sittin$ on a !ou$h o& a tree a &ew yards o&&. The Cat only $rinned when it saw Alice. It loo'ed $ood"natured, she thou$ht: still it had very lon$ claws and a $reat -any teeth, so she &elt that it ou$ht to !e treated with res(ect. )Cheshire <uss,* she !e$an, rather ti-idly, as she did not at all 'now whether it would li'e the na-e: howe%er, it only $rinned a little wider. )Co-e, it;s (leased so &ar,* thou$ht Alice, and she went on. )Would you tell -e, (lease, which way I ou$ht to $o &ro- here+* )That de(ends a $ood deal on where you want to $et to,* said the Cat. )I don;t -uch care where""* said Alice. )Then it doesn;t -atter which way you $o,* said the Cat.
Alice In Wonderland
)""so lon$ as I $et so$ewhere,* Alice added as an e5(lanation. )1h, you;re sure to do that,* said the Cat, )i& you only wal' lon$ enou$h.* Alice &elt that this could not !e denied, so she tried another 3uestion. )What sort o& (eo(le li%e a!out here+* )In that direction,* the Cat said, wa%in$ its ri$ht (aw round, )li%es a :atter: and in that direction,* wa%in$ the other (aw, )li%es a 9arch :are. Disit either you li'e: they;re !oth -ad.* )But I don;t want to $o a-on$ -ad (eo(le,* Alice re-ar'ed. )1h, you can;t hel( that,* said the Cat: )we;re all -ad here. I;- -ad. Cou;re -ad.* ):ow do you 'now I;- -ad+* said Alice. )Cou -ust !e,* said the Cat, )or you wouldn;t ha%e co-e here.* Alice didn;t thin' that (ro%ed it at all0 howe%er, she went on. )And how do you 'now that you;re -ad+* )To !e$in with,* said the Cat, )a do$;s not -ad. Cou $rant that+* )I su((ose so,* said Alice. )Well, then,* the Cat went on, )you see, a do$ $rowls when it;s an$ry, and wa$s its tail when it;s (leased. 7ow I $rowl when I;- (leased, and wa$ -y tail when I;- an$ry. There&ore I;- -ad.* )I call it (urrin$, not $rowlin$,* said Alice. )Call it what you li'e,* said the Cat. )Do you (lay cro3uet with the Eueen to" day+* )I should li'e it %ery -uch,* said Alice, )!ut I ha%en;t !een in%ited yet.*
(I. Pi& and Pe--er 4'
Alice In Wonderland
)Cou;ll see -e there,* said the Cat, and %anished. Alice was not -uch sur(rised at this, she was $ettin$ so used to 3ueer thin$s ha((enin$. While she was loo'in$ at the (lace where it had !een, it suddenly a((eared a$ain. )By"the"!ye, what !eca-e o& the !a!y+* said the cat. )I;d nearly &or$otten to as'.* )It turned into a (i$,* Alice 3uietly said, 4ust as it had co-e !ac' in a natural way. )I thou$ht it would,* said the Cat, and %anished a$ain. Alice waited a little, hal& e5(ectin$ to see it a$ain, !ut it did not a((ear, and a&ter a -inute or two she wal'ed on in the direction in which the 9arch :are was said to li%e. )I;%e seen hatters !e&ore,* she said to hersel&0 )the 9arch :are will !e -uch the -ost interestin$, and (erha(s, as this is 9ay, it won;t !e ra%in$ -ad " at least not so -ad as it was in 9arch.* As she said this, she loo'ed u(, and there was the Cat a$ain, sittin$ on a !ranch o& a tree. )Did you say (i$, or &i$+* said the Cat. )I said (i$,* re(lied Alice0 )and I wish you wouldn;t 'ee( a((earin$ and %anishin$ so suddenly: you -a'e one 3uite $iddy.* )All ri$ht,* said the Cat0 and this ti-e it %anished 3uite slowly, !e$innin$ with the end o& the tail, and endin$ with the $rin, which re-ained so-e ti-e a&ter the rest o& it had $one. )Well2 I;%e o&ten seen a cat without a $rin,* thou$ht Alice0 )!ut a $rin without a cat2 It;s the -ost curious thin$ I e%er saw in all -y li&e2* ,he had not $one -uch &arther !e&ore she ca-e in si$ht o& the house o& the
5! (I. Pi& and Pe--er
Alice In Wonderland
9arch :are: she thou$ht it -ust !e the ri$ht house, !ecause the chi-neys were sha(ed li'e ears and the roo& was thatched with &ur. It was so lar$e a house, that she did not li'e to $o nearer till she had ni!!led so-e -ore o& the le&t"hand !it o& -ushroo-, and raised hersel& to a!out two &eet hi$h: e%en then she wal'ed u( towards it rather ti-idly, sayin$ to hersel&, ),u((ose it should !e ra%in$ -ad a&ter all2 I al-ost wish I;d $one to see the :atter instead2*
(I. Pi& and Pe--er
Alice In Wonderland
DII. A 9ad Tea"<arty
T:# # was a ta!le set out under a tree in &ront o& the house, and the 9arch :are and the :atter were ha%in$ tea at it: a Dor-ouse was sittin$ !etween the-, &ast aslee(, and the other two were restin$ their el!ows on it, and tal'in$ o%er its head. )Dery unco-&orta!le &or the Dor-ouse,* thou$ht Alice0 )only, as it;s aslee(, I su((ose it doesn;t -ind.* The ta!le was a lar$e one, !ut the three were all crowded to$ether at one corner o& it. )7o roo-2 7o roo-2* they cried out when they saw Alice co-in$. )There;s plenty o& roo-2* said Alice indi$nantly, and she sat down in a lar$e ar-"chair at one end o& the ta!le. ):a%e so-e wine,* the 9arch :are said in an encoura$in$ tone. Alice loo'ed all round the ta!le, !ut there was nothin$ on it !ut tea. )I don;t see any wine,* she re-ar'ed. )There isn;t any,* said the 9arch :are. )Then it wasn;t %ery ci%il o& you to o&&er it,* said Alice an$rily. )It wasn;t %ery ci%il o& you to sit down without !ein$ in%ited,* said the 9arch :are. )I didn;t 'now it was your ta!le,* said Alice0 )it;s laid &or a $reat -any -ore than three.* )Cour hair wants cuttin$,* said the :atter. :e had !een loo'in$ at Alice &or so-e ti-e with $reat curiosity, and this was his &irst s(eech.
(II. A .ad Tea-Part/
Alice In Wonderland
)Cou shouldn;t -a'e (ersonal re-ar's,* Alice said with so-e se%erity0 )it;s %ery rude.* The :atter o(ened his eyes %ery wide on hearin$ this0 !ut all he said was, )Why is a ra%en li'e a writin$"des'+* )Co-e we shall ha%e so-e &un now2* thou$ht Alice. )I;- $lad they;%e !e$un as'in$ riddles. I !elie%e I can $uess that,* she added aloud. )Do you -ean that you thin' you can &ind out the answer to it+* said the 9arch :are. )#5actly so,* said Alice. )Then you should say what you -ean,* the 9arch :are went on. )I do,* Alice hastily re(lied0 )at least " at least I -ean what I say " that;s the sa-e thin$, you 'now.* )7ot the sa-e thin$ a !it2* said the :atter, )Why, you -i$ht 4ust as well say that =I see what I eat; is the sa-e thin$ as =I eat what I see;2* )Cou -i$ht 4ust as well say,* added the 9arch :are, )that =I li'e what I $et; is the sa-e thin$ as =I $et what I li'e;2* )Cou -i$ht 4ust as well say,* added the Dor-ouse who see-ed to !e tal'in$ in his slee( )that =I !reathe when I slee(; is the sa-e thin$ as =I slee( when I !reathe;2* )It is the sa-e thin$ with you,* said the :atter, and here the con%ersation dro((ed, and the (arty sat silent &or a -inute, while Alice thou$ht o%er all she could re-e-!er a!out ra%ens and writin$"des's, which wasn;t -uch. The :atter was the &irst to !rea' the silence, )What day o& the -onth is it+* he
(II. A .ad Tea-Part/ 53
Alice In Wonderland
said, turnin$ to Alice: he had ta'en his watch out o& his (oc'et, and was loo'in$ at it uneasily, sha'in$ it e%ery now and then, and holdin$ it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and then said, )The &ourth.* )Two days wron$2* si$hed the :atter. )I told you !utter wouldn;t suit the wor's2* he added, loo'in$ an$rily at the 9arch :are. )It was the ,est !utter,* the 9arch :are -ee'ly re(lied. )Ces, !ut so-e cru-!s -ust ha%e $ot in as well,* the :atter $ru-!led: )you shouldn;t ha%e (ut it in with the !read"'ni&e.* The 9arch :are too' the watch and loo'ed at it $loo-ily: then he di((ed it into his cu( o& tea, and loo'ed at it a$ain: !ut he could thin' o& nothin$ !etter to say than his &irst re-ar', )It was the ,est !utter, you 'now.* Alice had !een loo'in$ o%er his shoulder with so-e curiosity. )What a &unny watch2* she re-ar'ed. )It tells the day o& the -onth, and doesn;t tell what o;cloc' it is2* )Why should it+* -uttered the :atter. )Does your watch tell you what year it is+* )1& course not,* Alice re(lied %ery readily: )!ut that;s !ecause it stays the sa-e year &or such a lon$ ti-e to$ether.* )Which is 4ust the case with -ine,* said the :atter. Alice &elt dread&ully (u??led. The :atter;s re-ar' see-ed to ha%e no -eanin$ in it, and yet it was certainly #n$lish. )I don;t 3uite understand,* she said, as (olitely as she could. )The Dor-ouse is aslee( a$ain,* said the :atter, and he (oured a little hot tea
54 (II. A .ad Tea-Part/
Alice In Wonderland
u(on its nose. The Dor-ouse shoo' its head i-(atiently, and said without o(enin$ its eyes, )1& course, o& course0 4ust what I was $oin$ to re-ar' -ysel&.* ):a%e you $uessed the riddle yet+* the :atter said, turnin$ to Alice a$ain. )7o, I $i%e it u(,* Alice re(lied: )what;s the answer+* )I ha%en;t the sli$htest idea,* said the :atter. )7or I,* said the 9arch :are. Alice si$hed wearily. )I thin' you -i$ht do so-ethin$ !etter with the ti-e,* she said, )than waste it as'in$ riddles with no answers.* )I& you 'new Ti-e as well as I do,* said the :atter, )you wouldn;t tal' a!out wastin$ it. #ts hi$.* )I don;t 'now what you -ean,* said Alice. )1& course you don;t2* the :atter said, tossin$ his !ead conte-(tuously. )I daresay you ne%er e%en s(o'e to Ti-e2* )<erha(s not,* Alice cautiously re(lied: )!ut I 'now I ha%e to !eat ti-e when I learn -usic.* )Ah2 That accounts &or it,* said the :atter. ):e won;t stand !eatin$. 7ow, i& you only 'ee( on $ood ter-s with hi-, he;d do al-ost anythin$ you li'ed with the cloc'. 6or instance, su((ose it were nine o;cloc' in the -ornin$, 4ust ti-e to !e$in lessons: you;d only ha%e to whis(er a hint to Ti-e, and round $oes the cloc' in a twin'lin$2 :al&"(ast one, ti-e &or dinner2* .)I only wish it was,* the 9arch :are said to itsel& in a whis(er./ )That would !e $rand, certainly,* said Alice thou$ht&ully: )!ut then " I
Alice In Wonderland
shouldn;t !e hun$ry &or it, you 'now.* )7ot at &irst, (erha(s,* said the :atter: )!ut you could 'ee( it to hal&"(ast one as lon$ as you li'ed.* )Is that the way you -ana$e+* Alice as'ed. The :atter shoo' his head -ourn&ully. )7ot I2* he re(lied. )We 3uarrelled last 9arch " 4ust !e&ore he went -ad, you 'now"* .(ointin$ with his teas(oon at the 9arch :are/ )"it was at the $reat concert $i%en !y the Eueen o& :earts, and I had to sin$ 7-winkle, twinkle, little ,at( how # wonder what youre at( Cou 'now the son$, (erha(s+) )It $oes on, you 'now,* the :atter continued, )in this way:""
8p a,ove the world you fly, 9ike a tea-tray in the sky. -winkle, twinkle---7 :ere the Dor-ouse shoo' itsel&, and !e$an sin$in$ in its slee(, )Twin'le, twin'le, twin'le twin'le""* and went on so lon$ that they had to (inch it to -a'e it sto(. )Well, I;d hardly &inished the &irst %erse,* said the :atter, )when the Eueen 4u-(ed u( and !awled out, *:e;s -urderin$ the ti-e2 1&& with his head2) ):ow dread&ully sa%a$e2* e5clai-ed Alice. )And e%er since that,* the :atter went on in a -ourn&ul tone, )he won;t do a
Alice In Wonderland
thin$ I as'2 It;s always si5 o;cloc' now.* A !ri$ht idea ca-e into Alice;s head. )Is that the reason so -any tea"thin$s are (ut out here+* she as'ed. )Ces, that;s it,* said the :atter with a si$h: )it;s always tea"ti-e, and we;%e no ti-e to wash the thin$s !etween whiles.* )Then you 'ee( -o%in$ round, I su((ose+* said Alice. )#5actly so,* said the :atter: )as the thin$s $et used u(.* )But what ha((ens when you co-e to the !e$innin$ a$ain+* Alice %entured to as'. ),u((ose we chan$e the su!4ect,* the 9arch :are interru(ted, yawnin$. )I;$ettin$ tired o& this. I %ote the youn$ lady tells us a story.* )I;- a&raid I don;t 'now one,* said Alice, rather alar-ed at the (ro(osal. )Then the Dor-ouse shall2* they !oth cried. )Wa'e u(, Dor-ouse2* And they (inched it on !oth sides at once. The Dor-ouse slowly o(ened his eyes. )I wasn;t aslee(,* he said in a hoarse, &ee!le %oice: )I heard e%ery word you &ellows were sayin$.* )Tell us a story2* said the 9arch :are. )Ces, (lease do2* (leaded Alice. )And !e 3uic' a!out it,* added the :atter, )or you;ll !e aslee( a$ain !e&ore it;s done.* )1nce u(on a ti-e there were three little sisters,* the Dor-ouse !e$an in a $reat hurry0 )and their na-es were #lsie, Lacie, and Tillie0 and they li%ed at the !otto- o& a well""*
Alice In Wonderland
)What did they li%e on+* said Alice, who always too' a $reat interest in 3uestions o& eatin$ and drin'in$. )They li%ed on treacle,* said the Dor-ouse, a&ter thin'in$ a -inute or two. )They couldn;t ha%e done that, you 'now,* Alice $ently re-ar'ed0 )they;d ha%e !een ill.* ),o they were,* said the Dor-ouse0 )very ill.* Alice tried to &ancy to hersel& what such an e5traordinary way o& li%in$ would !e li'e, !ut it (u??led her too -uch, so she went on: )But why did they li%e at the !otto- o& a well+* )Ta'e so-e -ore tea,* the 9arch :are said to Alice, %ery earnestly. )I;%e had nothin$ yet,* Alice re(lied in an o&&ended tone, )so I can;t ta'e -ore.* )Cou -ean you can;t ta'e less,* said the :atter: )it;s %ery easy to ta'e -ore than nothin$.* )7o!ody as'ed your o(inion,* said Alice. )Who;s -a'in$ (ersonal re-ar's now+* the :atter as'ed triu-(hantly. Alice did not 3uite 'now what to say to this: so she hel(ed hersel& to so-e tea and !read and !utter, and then turned to the Dor-ouse, and re(eated her 3uestion. )Why did they li%e at the !otto- o& a well+* The Dor-ouse a$ain too' a -inute or two to thin' a!out it, and then said, )It was a treacle"well.* )There;s no such thin$2* Alice was !e$innin$ %ery an$rily, !ut the :atter and the 9arch :are went ),sh ssh2* and the Dor-ouse sul'ily re-ar'ed. )I& you can;t
Alice In Wonderland
!e ci%il, you;d !etter &inish the story yoursel&.* )7o, (lease $o on2* Alice said. )I won;t interru(t a$ain. I daresay there -ay !e one.* )1ne indeed2* said the Dor-ouse indi$nantly. :owe%er, he consented to $o on. )And so these three little sisters " they were learnin$ to draw, you 'now""* )What did they draw+* said Alice, 3uite &or$ettin$ her (ro-ise. )Treacle,* said the Dor-ouse, without considerin$ at all this ti-e. )I want a clean cu(,* interru(ted the :atter: )let;s all -o%e one (lace on.* :e -o%ed on as he s(o'e, and the Dor-ouse &ollowed hi-: the 9arch :are -o%ed into the Dor-ouse;s (lace, and Alice rather unwillin$ly too' the (lace o& the 9arch :are. The :atter was the only one who $ot any ad%anta$e &ro- the chan$e: and Alice was a $ood deal worse o&&, as the 9arch :are had 4ust u(set the -il'"4u$ into his (late. Alice did not wish to o&&end the Dor-ouse a$ain, so she !e$an %ery cautiously: )But I don;t understand. Where did they draw the treacle &ro-+* )Cou can draw water out o& a water"well,* said the :atter0 )so I should thin' you could draw treacle out o& a treacle"well " eh, stu(id+* )But they were in the well,* Alice said to the Dor-ouse, not choosin$ to notice this last re-ar'. )1& course they were,* said the Dor-ouse0 )well in.* This answer so con&used (oor Alice, that she let the Dor-ouse $o on &or so-e ti-e without interru(tin$ it. )They were learnin$ to draw,* the Dor-ouse went on, yawnin$ and ru!!in$ its
(II. A .ad Tea-Part/ 5'
Alice In Wonderland
eyes, &or it was $ettin$ %ery slee(y0 )and they drew all -anner o& thin$s " e%erythin$ that !e$ins with an 9""* )Why with an 9+* said Alice. )Why not+* said the 9arch :are. Alice was silent. The Dor-ouse had closed its eyes !y this ti-e, and was $oin$ o&& into a do?e0 !ut, on !ein$ (inched !y the :atter, it wo'e u( a$ain with a little shrie', and went on: )" that !e$ins with an 9, such as -ouse"tra(s, and the -oon, and -e-ory, and -uchness " you 'now you say thin$s are *-uch o& a -uchness= " did you e%er see such a thin$ as a drawin$ o& a -uchness+) ) eally, now you as' -e,* said Alice, %ery -uch con&used, )I don;t thin'""* )Then you shouldn;t tal',* said the :atter. This (iece o& rudeness was -ore than Alice could !ear: she $ot u( in $reat dis$ust, and wal'ed o&&0 the Dor-ouse &ell aslee( instantly, and neither o& the others too' the least notice o& her $oin$, thou$h she loo'ed !ac' once or twice, hal& ho(in$ that they would call a&ter her: the last ti-e she saw the-, they were tryin$ to (ut the Dor-ouse into the tea(ot. )At any rate I;ll ne%er $o there a$ain2* said Alice as she (ic'ed her way throu$h the wood. )It;s the stu(idest tea"(arty I e%er was at in all -y li&e2* Bust as she said this, she noticed that one o& the trees had a door leadin$ ri$ht into it. )That;s %ery curious2* she thou$ht. )But e%erythin$;s curious to"day. I thin' I -ay as well $o in at once.* And in she went. 1nce -ore she &ound hersel& in the lon$ hall, and close to the little $lass ta!le.
6! (II. A .ad Tea-Part/
Alice In Wonderland
)7ow, I;ll -ana$e !etter this ti-e,* she said to hersel&, and !e$an !y ta'in$ the little $olden 'ey, and unloc'in$ the door that led into the $arden. Then she set to wor' ni!!lin$ at the -ushroo- .she had 'e(t a (iece o& it in her (oc'et/ till she was a!out a &oot hi$h: then she wal'ed down the little (assa$e: and then she &ound hersel& at last in the !eauti&ul $arden, a-on$ the !ri$ht &lower"!eds and the cool &ountains.
(II. A .ad Tea-Part/
Alice In Wonderland
DIII. The EueenFs Cro3uet"8round
A LA 8# rose"tree stood near the entrance o& the $arden: the roses $rowin$ on it were white, !ut there were three $ardeners at it, !usily (aintin$ the- red. Alice thou$ht this a %ery curious thin$, and she went nearer to watch the-, and 4ust as she ca-e u( to the- she heard one o& the- say, )Loo' out now, 6i%e2 Don;t $o s(lashin$ (aint o%er -e li'e that2* )I couldn;t hel( it,* said 6i%e, in a sul'y tone. ),e%en 4o$$ed -y el!ow.* 1n which ,e%en loo'ed u( and said, )That;s ri$ht, 6i%e2 Always lay the !la-e on others2* ).oud !etter not tal'2* said 6i%e. )I heard the Eueen say only yesterday you deser%ed to !e !eheaded2* )What &or+* said the one who had &irst s(o'en. )That;s none o& your !usiness, Two2* said ,e%en. )Ces, it is his !usiness2* said 6i%e. )And I;ll tell hi- " it was &or !rin$in$ the coo' tuli("roots instead o& onions.* ,e%en &lun$ down his !rush, and had 4ust !e$un, )Well, o& all the un4ust thin$s""* when his eye chanced to &all u(on Alice, as she stood watchin$ the-, and he chec'ed hi-sel& suddenly: the others loo'ed round also, and all o& the- !owed low. )Would you tell -e,* said Alice, a little ti-idly, )why you are (aintin$ those roses+*
(III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd
Alice In Wonderland
6i%e and ,e%en said nothin$, !ut loo'ed at Two. Two !e$an in a low %oice, )Why, the &act is, you see, 9iss, this here ou$ht to ha%e !een a red rose"tree, and we (ut a white one in !y -ista'e0 and i& the Eueen was to &ind it out, we should all ha%e our heads cut o&&, you 'now. ,o you see, 9iss, we;re doin$ our !est, a&ore she co-es, to""* At this -o-ent, 6i%e, who had !een an5iously loo'in$ across the $arden, called out, )The Eueen2 The Eueen2* and the three $ardeners instantly threw the-sel%es &lat u(on their &aces. There was a sound o& -any &ootste(s, and Alice loo'ed round, ea$er to see the Eueen. 6irst ca-e ten soldiers carryin$ clu!s0 these were all sha(ed li'e the three $ardeners, o!lon$ and &lat, with their hands and &eet at the corners: ne5t the ten courtiers0 these were orna-ented all o%er with dia-onds, and wal'ed two and two, as the soldiers did. A&ter these ca-e the royal children0 there were ten o& the-, and the little dears ca-e 4u-(in$ -errily alon$ hand in hand, in cou(les: they were all orna-ented with hearts. 7e5t ca-e the $uests, -ostly @in$s and Eueens, and a-on$ the- Alice reco$nised the White a!!it: it was tal'in$ in a hurried, ner%ous -anner, s-ilin$ at e%erythin$ that was said, and went !y without noticin$ her. Then &ollowed the @na%e o& :earts, carryin$ the @in$;s crown on a cri-son %el%et cushion0 and, last o& all this $rand (rocession, ca-e T:# @I78 A7D EA##7 16 :#A T,. Alice was rather dou!t&ul whether she ou$ht not to lie down on her &ace li'e the three $ardeners, !ut she could not re-e-!er e%er ha%in$ heard o& such a rule at (rocessions0 )and !esides, what would !e the use o& a (rocession,* thou$ht she, )i& (eo(le had all to lie down u(on their &aces, so that they couldn;t see it+* ,o she
(III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd 63
Alice In Wonderland
stood still where she was, and waited. When the (rocession ca-e o((osite to Alice, they all sto((ed and loo'ed at her, and the Eueen said se%erely, )Who is this+* ,he said it to the @na%e o& :earts, who only !owed and s-iled in re(ly. )ldiot2* said the Eueen, tossin$ her head i-(atiently0 and, turnin$ to Alice, she went on, )What;s your na-e, child+* )9y na-e is Alice, so (lease your 9a4esty,* said Alice %ery (olitely0 !ut she added, to hersel&, )Why, they;re only a (ac' o& cards, a&ter all. I needn;t !e a&raid o& the-2* )And who are these+* said the Eueen, (ointin$ to the three $ardeners who were lyin$ round the rose"tree0 &or, you see, as they were lyin$ on their &aces, and the (attern on their !ac's was the sa-e as the rest o& the (ac', she could not tell whether they were $ardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three o& her own children. ):ow should I 'now+* said Alice, sur(rised at her own coura$e. )It;s no !usiness o& $ine.* The Eueen turned cri-son with &ury, and, a&ter $larin$ at her &or a -o-ent li'e a wild !east, screa-ed, )1&& with her head2 1&&""* )7onsense2* said Alice, %ery loudly and decidedly, and the Eueen was silent. The @in$ laid his hand u(on her ar-, and ti-idly said, )Consider, -y dear: she is only a child2* The Eueen turned an$rily away &ro- hi-, and said to the @na%e, )Turn theo%er2* The @na%e did so, %ery care&ully, with one &oot.
64 (III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd
Alice In Wonderland
)8et u(2* said the Eueen, in a shrill, loud %oice, and the three $ardeners instantly 4u-(ed u(, and !e$an !owin$ to the @in$, the Eueen, the royal children, and e%ery!ody else. )Lea%e o&& that2* screa-ed the Eueen. )Cou -a'e -e $iddy.* And then, turnin$ to the rose"tree, she went on, )What have you !een doin$ here+* )9ay it (lease your 9a4esty,* said Two, in a %ery hu-!le tone, $oin$ down on one 'nee as he s(o'e, )we were tryin$""* )I see2* said the Eueen, who had -eanwhile !een e5a-inin$ the roses. )1&& with their heads2* and the (rocession -o%ed on, three o& the soldiers re-ainin$ !ehind to e5ecute the un&ortunate $ardeners, who ran to Alice &or (rotection. )Cou shan;t !e !eheaded2* said Alice, and she (ut the- into a lar$e &lower"(ot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered a!out &or a -inute or two, loo'in$ &or the-, and then 3uietly -arched o&& a&ter the others. )Are their heads o&&+* shouted the Eueen. )Their heads are $one, i& it (lease your 9a4esty2* the soldiers shouted in re(ly. )That;s ri$ht2* shouted the Eueen. )Can you (lay cro3uet+* The soldiers were silent, and loo'ed at Alice, as the 3uestion was e%idently -eant &or her. )Ces2* shouted Alice. )Co-e on, then2* roared the Eueen, and Alice 4oined the (rocession, wonderin$ %ery -uch what would ha((en ne5t. )It;s " it;s a %ery &ine day2* said a ti-id %oice at her side. ,he was wal'in$ !y the White a!!it, who was (ee(in$ an5iously into her &ace.
Alice In Wonderland
)Dery,* said Alice: )where;s the Duchess+* ):ush2 :ush2* said the a!!it in a low hurried tone. :e loo'ed an5iously o%er his shoulder as he s(o'e, and then raised hi-sel& u(on ti(toe, (ut his -outh close to her ear, and whis(ered, ),he;s under sentence o& e5ecution.* )What &or+* said Alice. )Did you say, *What a (ity2+) the a!!it as'ed. )7o, I didn;t,* said Alice: )I don;t thin' it;s at all a (ity. I said, =What &or+;* ),he !o5ed the Eueen;s ears"* the a!!it !e$an. Alice $a%e a little screa- o& lau$hter. )1h, hush2* the a!!it whis(ered in a &ri$htened tone. )The Eueen will hear you2 Cou see, she ca-e rather late, and the Eueen said""* )8et to your (laces2* shouted the Eueen in a %oice o& thunder, and the (eo(le !e$an runnin$ a!out in all directions, tu-!lin$ u( a$ainst each other0 howe%er, they $ot settled down in a -inute or two, and the $a-e !e$an. Alice thou$ht she had ne%er seen such a curious cro3uet"$round in all her li&e0 it was all rid$es and &urrows0 the !alls were &i%e hed$eho$s, the -allets li%e &la-in$os, and the soldiers had to dou!le the-sel%es u( and to stand u(on their hands and &eet, to -a'e the arches. The chie& di&&iculty Alice &ound at &irst was in -ana$in$ her &la-in$o: she succeeded in $ettin$ its !ody tuc'ed away, co-&orta!ly enou$h, under her ar-, with its le$s han$in$ down, !ut $enerally, 4ust as she had $ot its nec' nicely strai$htened out, and was $oin$ to $i%e the hed$eho$ a !low with its head, it would twist itsel& round and loo' u( in her &ace, with such a (u??led e5(ression that she could not hel( !urstin$ out lau$hin$: and when she had $ot its head down,
Alice In Wonderland
and was $oin$ to !e$in a$ain, it was %ery (ro%o'in$ to &ind that the hed$eho$ had unrolled itsel&, and was in the act o& crawlin$ away: !esides all this, there was $enerally a rid$e or a &urrow in the way where%er she wanted to send the hed$eho$ to, and, as the dou!led"u( soldiers were always $ettin$ u( and wal'in$ o&& to other (arts o& the $round, Alice soon ca-e to the conclusion that it was a %ery di&&icult $a-e indeed. The (layers all (layed at once without waitin$ &or turns, 3uarrellin$ all the while, and &i$htin$ &or the hed$eho$s0 and in a %ery short ti-e the Eueen was in a &urious (assion, and went sta-(in$ a!out, and shoutin$, )1&& with his head2* or )1&& with her head2* a!out once in a -inute. Alice !e$an to &eel %ery uneasy: to !e sure, she had not as yet had any dis(ute with the Eueen, !ut she 'new that it -i$ht ha((en any -inute, )and then,* thou$ht she, )what would !eco-e o& -e+ They;re dread&ully &ond o& !eheadin$ (eo(le here0 the $reat wonder is that there;s anyone le&t ali%e2* ,he was loo'in$ a!out &or so-e way o& esca(e, and wonderin$ whether she could $et away without !ein$ seen, when she noticed a curious a((earance in the air: it (u??led her %ery -uch at &irst, !ut, a&ter watchin$ it a -inute or two, she -ade it out to !e a $rin, and she said to hersel&, )It;s the Cheshire Cat: now I shall ha%e so-e!ody to tal' to. ):ow are you $ettin$ on+* said the Cat, as soon as there was -outh enou$h &or it to s(ea' with. Alice waited till the eyes a((eared, and then nodded. )It;s no use s(ea'in$ to it,* she thou$ht, )till its ears ha%e co-e, or a least one o& the-. * In another -inute
Alice In Wonderland
the whole head a((eared, and then Alice (ut down her &la-in$o, and !e$an an account o& the $a-e, &eelin$ %ery $lad she had so-e one to listen to her. The Cat see-ed to thin' that there was enou$h o& it now in si$ht, and no -ore o& it a((eared. )I don;t thin' they (lay at all &airly,* Alice !e$an, in rather a co-(lainin$ tone, )and they all 3uarrel so dread&ully one can;t hear onesel& s(ea' and they don;t see- to ha%e any rules in (articular0 at least, i& there are, no!ody attends to the- " and you;%e no idea how con&usin$ it is all the thin$s !ein$ ali%e0 &or instance, there;s the arch I;%e $ot to $o throu$h ne5t wal'in$ a!out at the other end o& the $round " and I should ha%e cro3ueted the Eueen;s hed$eho$ 4ust now, only it ran away when it saw -ine co-in$2* ):ow do you li'e the Eueen+* said the Cat in a low %oice. )7ot at all,* said Alice: )she;s so e5tre-ely""* Bust then she noticed that the Eueen was close !ehind her listenin$: so she went on, )"li'ely to win that it;s hardly worth while &inishin$ the $a-e.* The Eueen s-iled and (assed on. )Who are you tal'in$ to+* said the @in$, co-in$ u( to Alice, and loo'in$ at the Cat;s head with $reat curiosity. )It;s a &riend o& -ine " a Cheshire Cat,* said Alice: )allow -e to introduce it.* )I don;t li'e the loo' o& it at all,* said the @in$: )howe%er, it -ay 'iss -y hand i& it li'es.* )I;d rather not,* the Cat re-ar'ed. )Don;t !e i-(ertinent,* said the @in$, )and don;t loo' at -e li'e that2* :e $ot
Alice In Wonderland
!ehind Alice as he s(o'e. )A cat -ay loo' at a 'in$,* said Alice. )I;%e read that in so-e !oo', !ut I don;t re-e-!er where.* )Well, it -ust !e re-o%ed,* said the @in$ %ery decidedly, and he called the Eueen, who was (assin$ at the -o-ent, )9y dear2 I wish you would ha%e this cat re-o%ed2* The Eueen had only one way o& settlin$ all di&&iculties, $reat or s-all. )1& with his head2* she said, without loo'in$ round. )I;ll &etch the e5ecutioner -ysel&,* said the @in$ ea$erly, and he hurried o&&. Alice thou$ht she -i$ht as well $o !ac' and see how the $a-e was $oin$ on, as she heard the Eueen;s %oice in the distance, screa-in$ with (assion. ,he had already heard her sentence three o& the (layers to !e e5ecuted &or ha%in$ -issed their turns, and she did not li'e the loo' o& thin$s at all, as the $a-e was in such con&usion that she ne%er 'new whether it was her turn or not. ,o she went in search o& her hed$eho$. The hed$eho$ was en$a$ed in a &i$ht with another hed$eho$, which see-ed to Alice an e5cellent o((ortunity &or cro3uetin$ one o& the- with the other: the only di&&iculty was, that her &la-in$o was $one across the other side o& the $arden, where Alice could see it tryin$ in a hel(less sort o& way to &ly u( into one o& the trees. By the ti-e she had cau$ht the &la-in$o and !rou$ht it !ac', the &i$ht was o%er, and !oth the hed$eho$s were out o& si$ht: )!ut it doesn;t -atter -uch,* thou$ht Alice, )as all the arches are $one &ro- this side o& the $round.* ,o she tuc'ed it
(III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd 6'
Alice In Wonderland
under her ar-, that it -i$ht not esca(e a$ain, and went !ac' &or a little -ore con%ersation with her &riend. When she $ot !ac' to the Cheshire Cat, she was sur(rised to &ind 3uite a lar$e crowd collected around it: there was a dis(ute $oin$ on !etween the e5ecutioner, the @in$, and the Eueen, who were all tal'in$ at once, while all the rest were 3uite silent, and loo'ed %ery unco-&orta!le. The -o-ent Alice a((eared, she was a((ealed to !y all three to settle the 3uestion, and they re(eated their ar$u-ents to her, thou$h, as they all s(o'e at once, she &ound it %ery hard indeed to -a'e out e5actly what they said. The e5ecutioner;s ar$u-ent was, that you couldn;t cut o&& a head unless there was a !ody to cut it o&& &ro-: that he had ne%er had to do such a thin$ !e&ore, and he wasn;t $oin$ to !e$in at his ti-e o& Li&e. The @in$;s ar$u-ent was, that anythin$ that had head could !e !eheaded, and that you weren;t to tal' nonsense. The Eueen;s ar$u-ent was, that i& so-ethin$ wasn;t done a!out it in less than no ti-e, she;d ha%e e%ery!ody e5ecuted, all round. .It was this last re-ar' that had -ade the whole (arty loo' so $ra%e and an5ious./ Alice could thin' o& nothin$ else to say !ut )It !elon$s to the Duchess: you;d !etter as' her a!out it.* ),he;s in (rison,* the Eueen said to the e5ecutioner: )&etch her here.* And the e5ecutioner went o&& li'e an arrow. The Cat;s head !e$an &adin$ away the -o-ent he was $one, and, !y the ti-e he had co-e !ac' with the Duchess, it had entirely disa((eared0 so the @in$ and
7! (III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd
Alice In Wonderland
the e5ecutioner ran wildly u( and down loo'in$ &or it, while the rest o& the (arty went !ac' to the $a-e.
(III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd
Alice In Wonderland
IG. The 9oc' TurtleFs ,tory
Alice was %ery $lad to &ind her in such a (leasant te-(er, and thou$ht to hersel& that (erha(s it was only the (e((er that had -ade her so sa%a$e when they -et in the 'itchen. )When #$ a Duchess,* she said to hersel& .not in a %ery ho(e&ul tone thou$h/, )I won;t ha%e any (e((er in -y 'itchen at all. ,ou( does %ery well without " -ay!e it;s always (e((er that -a'es (eo(le hot"te-(ered,* she went on, %ery -uch (leased at ha%in$ &ound out a new 'ind o& rule, )and %ine$ar that -a'es the- sour " and ca-o-ile that -a'es the- !itter " and " and !arley"su$ar and such thin$s that -a'e children sweet"te-(ered. I only wish (eo(le 'new that6 then they wouldn;t !e so stin$y a!out it, you 'now "* ,he had 3uite &or$otten the Duchess !y this ti-e and was a little startled when she heard her %oice close to her ear. )Cou;re thin'in$ a!out so-ethin$, -y dear, and that -a'es you &or$et to tal', I can;t tell you 4ust now what the -oral o& that is, !ut I shall re-e-!er it in a !it.* )<erha(s it hasn;t one,* Alice %entured to re-ar'. )Tut, tut, child2* said the Duchess. )#%erythin$;s $ot a -oral, i& only you can &ind it.* And she s3uee?ed hersel& u( closer to Alice;s side as she s(o'e. Alice did not -uch li'e her 'ee(in$ so close to her: &irst, !ecause the Duchess was very u$ly0 and secondly, !ecause she was e5actly the ri$ht hei$ht to rest her chin u(on Alice;s shoulder, and it was an unco-&orta!ly shar( chin. :owe%er she
I4. The .oc5 T$rtle1s )tor/
Alice In Wonderland
did not li'e to !e rude, so she !ore it as well as she could. )The $a-e see-s to !e $oin$ on rather !etter now, * she said. ) =Tis so, * said the Duchess )and the -oral o& it is ;1h, =tis lo%e, ;tis lo%e, that -a'es the world $o round2=* ),o-e!ody said,* whis(ered Alice, )that it;s done !y e%ery!ody -indin$ their own !usiness2* )Ah, well2 It -eans -uch the sa-e thin$,* said the Duchess, di$$in$ her shar( little chin into Alice;s shoulder as she added )and the -oral o& " that is " =Ta'e care o& the sense, and the sounds will ta'e care o& the-sel%es.;* ):ow &ond she is o& &indin$ -orals in thin$s2* Alice thou$ht to hersel&. )I dare say you;re wonderin$ why I don;t (ut -y ar- round your waist,* the Duchess said a&ter a (ause )the reason is, that I;- dou!t&ul a!out the te-(er o& your &la-in$o. ,hall I try the e5(eri-ent+* ):e -i$ht !ite*, Alice cautiously re(lied, not &eelin$ at all an5ious to ha%e the e5(eri-ent tried. )Dery true*, said the Duchess )&la-in$os and -ustard !oth !ite. And the -oral o& that is " =Birds o& a &eather &loc' to$ether.;* )1nly -ustard isn;t a !ird,* Alice re-ar'ed. ) i$ht, as usual,* said the Duchess )what a clear way you ha%e o& (uttin$ thin$s2* )It;s a -ineral, I think*, said Alice. )1& course it is*, said the Duchess, who see-ed ready to a$ree to e%erythin$ that Alice said )there;s a lar$e -ustard"-ine near here. And the -oral o& that is "
I4. The .oc5 T$rtle1s )tor/ 73
Alice In Wonderland
=The -ore there is o& -ine, the less there is o& yours.;* )1h, I 'now2* e5clai-ed Alice, who had not attended to this last re-ar' )It;s a %e$eta!le. It doesn;t loo' li'e one, !ut it is.* )I 3uite a$ree with you,* said the Duchess0 )and the -oral o& that is " =Be what you would see- to !e; " or i& you;d li'e it (ut -ore si-(ly " =7e%er, i-a$ine yoursel& not to !e otherwise than what it -i$ht ha%e !een was not otherwise than what Cou had !een would ha%e a((eared to the- to !e otherwise.;* )I thin' I should understand that !etter*, Alice said %ery (olitely )i& I had it written down: !ut I;- a&raid I can;t 3uite &ollow it as you say it.* )That;s nothin$ to what I could say i& I chose*, the Duchess re(lied, in a (leased tone. )<ray don;t trou!le yoursel& to say it any lon$er than that*, said Alice. )1h, don;t tal' a!out trou!le2* said the Duchess )I -a'e you a (resent o& e%erythin$ I;%e said as yet.* )A chea( sort o& (resent2* thou$ht Alice )I;- $lad they don;t $i%e !irthday (resents li'e that2* But she did not %enture to say it out loud. )Thin'in$ a$ain+* the Duchess as'ed with another di$ o& her shar( little chin. )I;%e a ri$ht to thin'*, said Alice shar(ly, &or she was !e$innin$ to &eel a little worried. )Bust a!out as -uch ri$ht*, said the Duchess )as (i$s ha%e to &ly0 and the -""* But here, to Alice;s $reat sur(rise, the Duchess;s %oice died away, e%en in the -iddle o& her &a%ourite word =-oral;, and the ar- that was lin'ed into hers !e$an to tre-!le. Alice loo'ed u(, and there stood the Eueen in &ront o& the-, with her
74 I4. The .oc5 T$rtle1s )tor/
Alice In Wonderland
ar-s &olded, &rownin$ li'e a thunderstor-. )A &ine day, your 9a4esty2* the Duchess !e$an in a low, wea' %oice. )7ow, I $i%e you &air warnin$* shouted the Eueen, sta-(in$ on the $round as she s(o'e )either you or your head -ust !e o&&, and that in a!out hal& no ti-e2 Ta'e your choice2* The Duchess too' her choice, and was $one in a -o-ent. )Let;s $o on with the $a-e*, the Eueen said to Alice0 and Alice was too -uch &ri$htened to say a word, !ut slowly &ollowed her !ac' to the cro3uet $round. The other $uests had ta'en ad%anta$e o& the Eueen;s a!sence and were restin$ in the shade: howe%er, the -o-ent they saw her, they hurried !ac' to the $a-e, the Eueen -erely re-ar'in$ that a -o-ent;s delay would cost the- their li%es. All the ti-e they were (layin$ the Eueen ne%er le&t o&& 3uarrellin$ with the other (layers, and shoutin$ )1&& with his head2* or )1&& with her head2* Those who- she sentenced were ta'en into custody !y the soldiers, who o& course had to lea%e o&& !ein$ arches to do this, so that !y the end o& hal& an hour or so there were no arches le&t, and all the (layers, e5ce(t the @in$, and Eueen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence o& e5ecution. Then the Eueen le&t o&&, 3uite out o& !reath, and said to Alice, ):a%e you seen the 9oc' Turtle yet+* )7o*, said Alice )I don;t e%en 'now what a 9oc' Turtle is.* )It;s the thin$ 9oc' Turtle ,ou( is -ade &ro-*, said the Eueen. )I ne%er saw one, or heard o& one*, said Alice. )Co-e on, then*, said the Eueen, )and he shall tell you his history.*
Alice In Wonderland
As they wal'ed o&& to$ether, Alice heard the @in$ say in a low %oice, to the co-(any $enerally, )Cou are all (ardoned.* )Co-e, thats a $ood thin$2* she said to hersel&, &or she had &elt 3uite unha((y at the nu-!er o& e5ecutions the Eueen had ordered. They %ery soon ca-e u(on a 8ry(hon, lyin$ &ast aslee( in the sun. .I& you don;t 'now what a 8ry(hon is, loo' at the (icture./ )A(, la?y thin$2* said the Eueen, )and ta'e this youn$ lady to see the 9oc' Turtle, and to hear his history. I -ust $o !ac' and see a&ter so-e e5ecutions I ha%e ordered,* and she wal'ed o&&, lea%in$ Alice alone with the 8ry(hon. Alice did not 3uite li'e the loo' o& the creature, !ut on the whole she thou$ht it would !e 3uite sa&e to stay with it as to $o a&ter that sa%a$e Eueen: so she waited. The 8ry(hon sat u( and ru!!ed its eyes: then it watched the Eueen till she was out o& si$ht: then it chuc'led. )What &un2* said the 8ry(hon, hal& to itsel&, hal& to Alice. )What is the &un+* said Alice. )Why, she*, said the 8ry(hon. )It;s all her &ancy, that: they ne%er e5ecutes no!ody, you 'now. Co-e on2* )#%ery!ody says =co-e on2; here,* thou$ht Alice, as she went slowly a&ter it: )I ne%er was so ordered a!out in all -y li&e, ne%er2* They had not $one &ar !e&ore they saw the 9oc' Turtle in the distance, sittin$ sad and lonely on a little led$e o& roc', and, as they ca-e nearer, Alice could hear hisi$hin$ as i& his heart would !rea'. ,he (itied hi- dee(ly. )What is his sorrow+* she as'ed the 8ry(hon, and the 8ry(hon answered, ) %ery nearly in the
Alice In Wonderland
sa-e words as !e&ore, *It;s all his &ancy, that: he hasn;t $ot no sorrow, you 'now. Co-e on2) ,o they went u( to the 9oc' Turtle, who loo'ed at the- with lar$e eyes &ull o& tears, !ut said nothin$. )This here youn$ lady*, said the 8ry(hon, )she wants &or to 'now your history, she do.* )I;ll tell it her*, said the 9oc' Turtle in a dee(, hollow, tone: )sit down, !oth o& you, and don;t s(ea' a word till I;%e &inished.* ,o they sat down, and no!ody s(o'e &or so-e -inutes. Alice thou$ht to hersel&, )I don;t see how he can ever &inish, i& he doesn;t !e$in.* But she waited (atiently. )1nce*, said the 9oc' Turtle at last, with a dee( si$h. These words were &ollowed !y a %ery lon$ silence, !ro'en only !y an occasional e5cla-ation o& ):4c'rrh2* &ro- the 8ry(hon, and the constant hea%y so!!in$ o& the 9oc' Turtle. Alice was %ery nearly $ettin$ u( and sayin$, )Than' you, sir, &or your interestin$ story,* !ut she could not hel( thin'in$ there $ust !e -ore to co-e, so she sat still and said nothin$. )When we were little,* the 9oc' Turtle went on at last, -ore cal-ly, thou$h still so!!in$ a little now and then, )we went to school in the sea. The -aster was an old Turtle " we used to call hi- Tortoise""* )Why did you call hi- Tortoise, i& he wasn;t one+* Alice as'ed. )We called hi- Tortoise !ecause he tau$ht us,* said the 9oc' Turtle an$rily: )really you are %ery dull2* )Cou ou$ht to !e asha-ed o& yoursel& &or as'in$ such a si-(le 3uestion,*
Alice In Wonderland
added the 8ry(hon0 and then they !oth sat silent and loo'ed at (oor Alice, who &elt ready to sin' into the earth. At last the 8ry(hon said to the 9oc' Turtle, )Dri%e on, old &ellow2 Don;t !e all day a!out it2* and he went on in these words: )Ces, we went to school in the sea, thou$h you -ayn;t !elie%e it""* )I ne%er said I didn;t2* interru(ted Alice. )Cou did,* said the 9oc' Turtle. ):old your ton$ue2* added the 8ry(hon, !e&ore Alice could s(ea' a$ain. The 9oc' Turtle went on. )We had the !est o& educations " in &act, we went to school e%ery day""* )#ve !een to a day"school, too, * said Alice0 )you needn;t !e so (roud as all that.* )With e5tras+* as'ed the 9oc' Turtle a little an5iously. )Ces,* said Alice, )we learned 6rench and -usic.* )And washin$+* said the 9oc' Turtle. )Certainly not2* said Alice indi$nantly. )Ah2 then yours wasn;t a really $ood school, * said the 9oc' Turtle in a tone o& $reat relie&.)7ow at ours they had at the end o& the !ill. =6rench, -usic, and washing-e5tra.;* )Cou couldn;t ha%e wanted it -uch,* said Alice0 )li%in$ at the !otto- o& the sea.* )I couldn;t a&&ord to learn it,* said the 9oc' Turtle with a si$h. )I only too' the re$ular course.* )What was that+* in3uired Alice.
Alice In Wonderland
) eelin$ and Writhin$, o& course, to !e$in with,* the 9oc' Turtle re(lied0 )and then the di&&erent !ranches o& Arith-etic " A-!ition, Distraction, A$li&ication, and Derision.* )I ne%er heard o& =A$li&ication,;* Alice %entured to say. )What is it+* The 8ry(hon li&ted u( !oth its (aws in sur(rise, )What2 7e%er heard o& u$li&yin$2* it e5clai-ed. )Cou 'now what to !eauti&y is, I su((ose+* )Ces,* said Alice dou!t&ully: )it -eans"to"-a'e"anythin$"(rettier.* )Well, then,* the 8ry(hon went on, )i& you don;t 'now what to u$li&y is, you $ust !e a si-(leton.* Alice did not &eel encoura$ed to as' any -ore 3uestions a!out it, so she turned to the 9oc' Turtle, and said, )What else had you to learn+* )Well, there was 9ystery,* the 9oc' Turtle re(lied, countin$ o&& the su!4ects on his &la((ers, " )9ystery, ancient and -odern, with ,eao$ra(hy: then Drawlin$ " the Drawlin$"-aster was an old con$er eel, that used to co-e once a wee': he tau$ht us Drawlin$, ,tretchin$, and 6aintin$ in Coils.* )What was that li'e+* said Alice. )Well, I can;t show it you -ysel&,* the 9oc' Turtle said: )I;- too sti&&. And the 8ry(hon ne%er learnt it.* ):adn;t ti-e,* said the 8ry(hon: )I went to the Classical -aster, thou$h. :e was an old cra!, he was.* )I ne%er went to hi-,* the 9oc' Turtle said with a si$h: )he tau$ht Lau$hin$ and 8rie&, they used to say.* ),o he did, so he did, * said the 8ry(hon, si$hin$ in his turn0 and !oth creatures
I4. The .oc5 T$rtle1s )tor/ 7'
Alice In Wonderland
hid their &aces in their (aws. )And how -any hours a day did you do lessons+* said Alice, in a hurry to chan$e the su!4ect. )Ten hours the &irst day,* said the 9oc' Turtle: )nine the ne5t, and so on.* )What a curious (lan2* e5clai-ed Alice. )That;s the reason they;re called lessons,* the 8ry(hon re-ar'ed: )!ecause they lessen &ro- day to day.* This was 3uite a new idea to Alice, and she thou$ht it o%er a little !e&ore she -ade her ne5t re-ar'. )Then the ele%enth day -ust ha%e !een a holiday+* )1& course it was,* said the 9oc' Turtle. )And how did you -ana$e on the twel&th+* Alice went on ea$erly. )That;s enou$h a!out lessons,* the 8ry(hon interru(ted in a %ery decided tone: )tell her so-ethin$ a!out the $a-es now.*
8!
I4. The .oc5 T$rtle1s )tor/
Alice In Wonderland
G. The Lo!ster Euadrille
T:# 9oc' Turtle si$hed dee(ly, and drew the !ac' o& one &la((er across his eyes. :e loo'ed at Alice, and tried to s(ea', !ut, &or a -inute or two, so!s cho'ed his %oice. ),a-e as i& he had a !one in his throat,* said the 8ry(hon: and it set to wor' sha'in$ hi- and (unchin$ hi- in the !ac'. At last the 9oc' Turtle reco%ered his %oice, and, with tears runnin$ down his chee's, went on a$ain:"" )Cou -ay not ha%e li%ed -uch under the sea"* .)I ha%en;t,* said Alice/ )and (erha(s you were ne%er e%en introduced to a lo!ster"* .Alice !e$an to say, )I once tasted""* !ut chec'ed hersel& hastily, and said, )7o, ne%er*/ )"so you can ha%e no idea what a deli$ht&ul thin$ a Lo!ster Euadrille is2* )7o, indeed,* said Alice. )What sort o& a dance is it+* )Why,* said the 8ry(hon, )you &irst &or- into a line alon$ the sea"shore""* )Two lines2* cried the 9oc' Turtle. ),eals, turtles, and so on0 then, when you;%e cleared the 4elly"&ish out o& the way""* )-hat $enerally ta'es so-e ti-e,* interru(ted the 8ry(hon. )"you ad%ance twice""* )#ach with a lo!ster as a (artner2* cried the 8ry(hon. )1& course,* the 9oc' Turtle said: )ad%ance twice, set to (artners""* )"chan$e lo!sters, and retire in sa-e order,* continued the 8ry(hon. )Then you 'now,* the 9oc' Turtle went on, )you throw the""* )The lo!sters2* shouted the 8ry(hon, with a !ound into the air.
4. The %obster 0$adrille
Alice In Wonderland
)"as &ar out to sea as you can""* ),wi- a&ter the-2* screa-ed the 8ry(hon. )Turn a so-ersault in the sea2* cried the 9oc' Turtle, ca(erin$ wildly a!out. )Chan$e lo!sters a$ain2* yelled the 8ry(hon. )Bac' to land a$ain, and " that;s all the &irst &i$ure,* said the 9oc' Turtle, suddenly dro((in$ his %oice0 and the two creatures, who had !een 4u-(in$ a!out li'e -ad do$s, sat down a$ain %ery sadly and 3uietly, and loo'ed at Alice. )It -ust !e a %ery (retty dance,* said Alice, ti-idly. )Would you li'e to see a little o& it+* said the 9oc' Turtle. )Dery -uch indeed,* said Alice. )Co-e, let;s try the &irst &i$ure2* said the 9oc' Turtle to the 8ry(hon. )We can do without lo!sters, you 'now. Which shall sin$+ * )1h, you sin$,* said the 8ry(hon. )I;%e &or$otten the words.* ,o they !e$an sole-nly dancin$ round and round Alice, e%ery now and then treadin$ on her toes when they (assed too close, and wa%in$ their &ore(aws to -ar' the ti-e, while the 9oc' Turtle san$ this, %ery slowly and sadly:"" )"ill you walk a little &aster+% said a whiting to a snail, )-heres a porpoise close ,ehind us, and hes treading on $y tail.% 4ee how eagerly the lo,sters and the turtles all advance( -hey are waiting on the shingle--will you co$e and *oin the dance+ "ill you, wont you, will you, wont you, will you *oin the dance+ "ill you, wont you, will you, wont you, wont you *oin the dance+) ).ou can really have no notion how delightful it will ,e,
8" 4. The %obster 0$adrille
Alice In Wonderland
"hen they take us up and throw us, with the lo,sters, out to sea.% 1ut the snail replied, )-oo far, too far( %, and gave a look askance--4aid he thanked the whiting kindly, ,ut he would not *oin the dance. "ould not, could not, would not, could not, would not *oin the dance. "ould not, could not, would not, could not, could not *oin the dance.
)"hat $atters it how far we go+% his scaly friend replied. )-here is another shore, you know, upon the other side. -he further off fro$ England the nearer is to France---hen turn not pale, ,eloved snail, ,ut co$e and *oin the dance. "ill you, wont you, will you, wont you, wont you *oin the dance+ "ill you, wont you, will you, wont you, wont you *oin the dance+% )Than' you, it;s a %ery interestin$ dance to watch,* said Alice, &eelin$ %ery $lad that it was o%er at last: )and I do so li'e that curious son$ a!out the whitin$2* )1h, as to the whitin$,* said the 9oc' Turtle, )they " you;%e seen the-, o& course+* )Ces,* said Alice, )I;%e o&ten seen the- at dinn""* she chec'ed hersel& hastily. )I don;t 'now where Dinn -ay !e,* said the 9oc' Turtle, )!ut i& you;%e seen the- so o&ten, o& course you 'now what they;re li'e.* )I !elie%e so,* Alice re(lied thou$ht&ully. )They ha%e their tails in their -ouths" and they;re all o%er cru-!s.* )Cou;re wron$ a!out the cru-!s,* said the 9oc' Turtle: )cru-!s would all wash o&& in the sea. But they have their tails in their -ouths0 and the reason is""*
4. The %obster 0$adrille 83
Alice In Wonderland
here the 9oc' Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. )Tell her a!out the reason and all that,* he said to the 8ry(hon. )The reason is,* said the 8ry(hon, )that they would $o with the lo!sters to the dance. ,o they $ot thrown out to sea. ,o they had to &all a lon$ way. ,o they $ot their tails &ast in their -ouths. ,o they couldn;t $et the- out a$ain. That;s all.* )Than' you,* said Alice, )it;s %ery interestin$. I ne%er 'new so -uch a!out a whitin$ !e&ore.* )I can tell you -ore than that, i& you li'e,* said the 8ry(hon. )Do you 'now why it;s called a whitin$+* )I ne%er thou$ht a!out it,* said Alice. )Why+* )#t does the ,oots and shoes,* the 8ry(hon re(lied %ery sole-nly. Alice was thorou$hly (u??led. )Does the !oots and shoes2* she re(eated in a wonderin$ tone. )Why, what are your shoes done with+* said the 8ry(hon. )I -ean, what -a'es the- so shiny+* Alice loo'ed down at the-, and considered a little !e&ore she $a%e her answer. )They;re done with !lac'in$, I !elie%e.* )Boots and shoes under the sea,* the 8ry(hon went on in a dee( %oice, )are done with whitin$. 7ow you 'now.* )And what are they -ade o&+* Alice as'ed in a tone o& $reat curiosity. ),oles and eels, o& course,* the 8ry(hon re(lied rather i-(atiently: )any s'i-( could ha%e told you that.* )I& I;d !een the whitin$,* said Alice, whose thou$hts were still runnin$ on the son$. )I;d ha%e said to the (or(oise, =@ee( !ac', (lease: we don;t want you with
84 4. The %obster 0$adrille
Alice In Wonderland
us2;* )They were o!li$ed to ha%e hi- with the-,* the 9oc' Turtle said: )no wise &ish would $o anywhere without a (or(oise.* )Wouldn;t it really+* said Alice in a tone o& $reat sur(rise. )1& course not,* said the 9oc' Turtle. )Why i& a &ish ca-e to -e, and told -e he was $oin$ a 4ourney, I should say, =With what (or(oise+;* )Don;t you -ean =(ur(ose;+ * said Alice. )I -ean what I say,* the 9oc' Turtle re(lied In an o&&ended tone. And the 8ry(hon added, )Co-e, let;s hear so-e o& your ad%entures.* )I could tell you -y ad%entures " !e$innin$ &ro- this -ornin$,* said Alice a little ti-idly: )!ut it;s no use $oin$ !ac' to yesterday, !ecause I was a di&&erent (erson then.* )#5(lain all that,* said the 9oc' Turtle. )7o, no2 The ad%entures &irst,* said the 8ry(hon in an i-(atient tone: )e5(lanations ta'e such a dread&ul ti-e.* ,o Alice !e$an tellin$ the- her ad%entures &ro- the ti-e when she &irst saw the White a!!it. ,he was a little ner%ous a!out it 4ust at &irst, the two creatures $ot so close to her, one on each side, and o(ened their eyes and -ouths so very wide, !ut she $ained coura$e as she went on. :er listeners were (er&ectly 3uiet till she $ot to the (art a!out her re(eatin$, ).ou are old, Father "illia$,* to the Cater(illar and the words all co-in$ di&&erent, and then the 9oc' Turtle drew a lon$ !reath, and said, )That;s %ery curious.* )It;s all a!out as curious as it can !e,* said the 8ry(hon.
Alice In Wonderland
)It all ca-e di&&erent2* the 9oc' Turtle re(eated thou$ht&ully. )I should li'e to hear her re(eat so-ethin$ now. Tell her to !e$in. *:e loo'ed at the 8ry(hon as i& he thou$ht it had so-e 'ind o& authority o%er Alice. ),tand u( and re(eat, =-is the voice of the sluggard,;* said the 8ry(hon. ):ow the creatures order one a!out, and -a'e one re(eat lessons2* thou$ht Alice. )I -i$ht as well !e at school at once. *:owe%er, she $ot u(, and !e$an to re(eat it, !ut her head was so &ull o& the Lo!ster Euadrille, that she hardly 'new what she was sayin$, and the words ca-e %ery 3ueer indeed:"" 7-is the voice of the 9o,ster6 # heard hi$ declare ).ou have ,aked $e too ,rown, # $ust sugar $y hair.% As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose -ri$s his ,elt and his ,uttons, and turns out his toes. "hen the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in conte$ptuous tones of the 4hark6 1ut, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His voice has a ti$id and tre$ulous sound.
)That;s di&&erent &ro- what I used to say when I was a child,* said the 8ry(hon. )Well, I ne%er heard it !e&ore,* said the 9oc' TurtIe0 )!ut it sounds unco--on nonsense.* Alice said nothin$0 she had sat down with her &ace in her hands, wonderin$ i& anythin$ would e%er ha((en in a natural way a$ain. )I should li'e to ha%e it e5(lained,* said the 9oc' Turtle.
Alice In Wonderland
),he can;t e5(lain it,* hastily said the 8ry(hon. )8o on to the ne5t %erse.* )But a!out his toes+* the 9oc' Turtle (ersisted. ):ow could he turn the- out with his nose, you 'now+* )It;s the &irst (osition in dancin$,* Alice said0 !ut was dread&ully (u??led !y it all, and lon$ed to chan$e the su!4ect. )8o on with the ne5t %erse,* the 8ry(hon re(eated: )it !e$ins with the words =# passed ,y his garden.* Alice did not dare to diso!ey, thou$h she &elt sure it would all co-e wron$, and she went on in a tre-!lin$ %oice:"" # passed ,y his garden, and $arked, with one eye, How the 'wl and the 2anther were sharing a pie6 -he 2anther took pie-crust, and gravy, and $eat, "hile the 'wl had the dish as its share of the treat. "hen the pie was all finished, the 'wl, as a ,oon, "as kindly per$itted to pocket the spoon6 "hile the 2anther received knife and fork with a growl, And concluded the ,anquet ,y--)What is the use o& re(eatin$ all that stu&&,* the 9oc' Turtle interru(ted, )i& you don;t e5(lain it as you $o on+ It;s !y &ar the -ost con&usin$ thin$ I e%er heard2* )Ces, I thin' you;d !etter lea%e o&&,* said the 8ry(hon: and Alice was only too $lad to do so. ),hall we try another &i$ure o& the Lo!ster Euadrille+* the 8ry(hon went on. )1r would you li'e the 9oc' Turtle to sin$ you a son$+*
Alice In Wonderland
)1h, a son$ (lease, i& the 9oc' Turtle would !e so 'ind,* Alice re(lied, so ea$erly that the 8ry(hon said, in a rather o&&ended tone, ):-2 7o accountin$ &or tastes2 ,in$ her =-urtle 4oup,; will you old &ellow+* The 9oc' Turtle si$hed dee(ly, and !e$an, in a %oice so-eti-es cho'ed with so!s, to sin$ this:"" 1eautiful 4oup, so rich and green, "aiting in a hot tureen( "ho for such dainties would not stoop( 4oup of the evening, ,eautiful 4oup( 4oup of the evening, ,eautiful 4oup( 1eau--ootiful 4oo--oop( 1eau--ootiful 4oo--oop( 4oo--op of the e--e--evening, 1eautiful, ,eautiful 4oup(
1eautiful 4oup( "ho cares for fish, :a$e, or any other dish+ "ho would not give all else for two pennyworth only of ,eautiful 4oup+ 2ennyworth only of ,eautiful 4oup+ 1eau--ootiful 4oo--oop( 1eau--ootiful 4oo--oop( 4oo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Alice In Wonderland
1eautiful, ,eauti--F89 4'82(
)Chorus a$ain2* cried the 8ry(hon, and the 9oc'"Turtle had 4ust !e$un to re(eat it, when a cry o& )The trial;s !e$innin$2* was heard in the distance. )Co-e on2* cried the 8ry(hon, and, ta'in$ Alice !y the hand, it hurried o&&, without waitin$ &or the end o& the son$. )What trial is it+* Alice (anted as she ran0 !ut the 8ry(hon only answered, )Co-e on2* and ran the &aster, while -ore and -ore &aintly ca-e, carried on the !ree?e that &ollowed the-, the -elancholy words: 4oo--oop of the e--e--evening, 1eautiful, ,eautiful 4oup(
4. The %obster 0$adrille
8'
Alice In Wonderland
GI. Who ,tole the Tarts+
T:# @in$ and Eueen o& :earts were seated on their throne when they arri%ed, with a $reat crowd asse-!led a!out the-"" all sorts o& little !irds and !easts, as well as the whole (ac' o& cards: the @na%e was standin$ !e&ore the-, in chains, with a soldier on each side to $uard hi-0 and near the @in$ was the White a!!it, with a tru-(et in one hand, and a scroll o& (arch-ent in the other. In the %ery -iddle o& the court was a ta!le, with a lar$e dish o& tarts u(on it: the loo'ed so $ood, that it -ade Alice 3uite hun$ry to loo' at the- " )I wish they;d $et the trial done,* she thou$ht, )and hand round the re&resh-ents2* But there see-ed to !e no chance o& this0 so she !e$an loo'in$ at e%erythin$ a!out her to (ass away the ti-e. Alice had ne%er !een in a court o& 4ustice !e&ore, !ut she had read a!out the- in !oo's, and she was 3uite (leased to &ind that she 'new the na-e o& nearly e%erythin$ there. )That;s the 4ud$e,* she said to hersel&, )!ecause o& his $reat wi$.* The 4ud$e, !y the way, was the @in$0 and, as he wore his crown o%er the wi$ .loo' at the &rontis(iece i& you want to see how he did it/, he did not loo' at all co-&orta!le, and it was certainly not !eco-in$. )And that;s the 4ury"!oy,* thou$ht Alice0 )and those twel%e creatures,* .she was o!li$ed to say )creatures,* you see, !ecause so-e o& the- were ani-als, and so-e were !irds,/ )I su((ose they are the 4urors.* ,he said this last word two or three ti-es o%er to hersel&, !ein$ rather (roud o& it: &or she thou$ht, and ri$htly too, that %ery &ew little $irls o& her a$e 'new the -eanin$ o& it all. :owe%er,
4I. Who )tole the Tarts6
Alice In Wonderland
)4ury-en* would ha%e done 4ust as well. The twel%e 4urors were all writin$ %ery !usily on slates. )What are they doin$+* Alice whis(ered to the 8ry(hon. )They can;t ha%e anythin$ to (ut down yet, !e&ore the trial;s !e$un.* )They;re (uttin$ down their na-es,* the 8ry(hon whis(ered in re(ly, )&or &ear they should &or$et the- !e&ore the end o& the trial.* ,tu(id thin$s2) Alice !e$an in a load indi$nant %oice0 !ut she sto((ed hersel& hastily, &or the White a!!it cried out *,ilence in the Court2), and the @in$ (ut on his s(ectacles and loo'ed an5iously round, to -a'e out who was tal'in$. Alice could see, as well as i& she were loo'in$ o%er their shoulders, that all the 4urors were writin$ down ),tu(id thin$s2* on their slates, and she could e%en -a'e out that one o& the- didn;t 'now how to s(ell )stu(id,* and that he had to as' his nei$h!our to tell hi-. )A nice -uddle their slates;ll !e in, !e&ore the trial;s o%er2* thou$ht Alice. 1ne o& the 4urors had a (encil that s3uea'ed. This, o& course, Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and $ot !ehind hi-, and %ery soon &ound an o((ortunity o& ta'in$ it away. ,he did it so 3uic'ly that the (oor little 4uror .it was Bill, the Li?ard/ could not -a'e out at all what had !eco-e o& it0 so, a&ter huntin$ all a!out &or it, he was o!li$ed to write with one &in$er &or the rest o& the day0 and this was o& %ery little use, as it le&t no -ar' on the slate. ):erald, read the accusation2* said the @in$. 1n this the White a!!it !lew three !lasts on the tru-(et, an then unrolled the (arch-ent"scroll, and read as &ollows:""
4I. Who )tole the Tarts6 '
Alice In Wonderland
The Eueen o& :earts, she -ade so-e tarts, All on a su--er day: The @na%e o& :earts, he stole those tarts And too' the- 3uite away2 )Consider your %erdict,* the @ind said to the 4ury. )7ot yet, not yet2* the a!!it hastily interru(ted. )There;s a $reat deal to co-e !e&ore that2* )Call the &irst witness,* said the @in$0 and the White a!!it !lew three !lasts on the tru-(et, and called out )6irst witness2* The &irst witness was the :atter. :e ca-e in with a teacu( in one hand and a (iece o& !read"and"!utter in the other. )I !e$ your (ardon, your 9a4esty,* he !e$an, )&or !rin$in$ these in0 !ut I hadn;t 3uite &inished -y tea when I was sent &or.* )Cou ou$ht to ha%e &inished,* said the @in$. )When did you !e$in+* The :atter loo'ed at the 9arch :are, who had &ollowed hi- into the court, ar-"in"ar- with the Dor-ouse. )6ourteenth o& 9arch, I think it was,* he said. )6i&teenth,* said the 9arch :are. ),i5teenth,* said the Dor-ouse. )Write that down,* the @in$ said to the 4ury0 and the 4ury ea$erly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added the- u(, and reduced the answer to shillin$s and (ence. )Ta'e o&& your hat,* the @in$ said to the :atter. )It isn;t -ine,* said the :atter. ),tolen2* the @in$ e5clai-ed, turnin$ to the 4ury, who instantly -ade a -e-orandu- o& the &act. )I 'ee( the- to sell,* the :atter added as an e5(lanation. )I;%e none o& -y own.
'" 4I. Who )tole the Tarts6
Alice In Wonderland
I;- a hatter.* :ere the Eueen (ut on her s(ectacles, and !e$an starin$ hard at the :atter, who turned (ale and &id$eted. )8i%e your e%idence,* said the @in$0 )and don;t !e ner%ous, or I;ll ha%e you e5ecuted on the s(ot.* This did not see- to encoura$e the witness at all: he 'e(t shi&tin$ &ro- one &oot to the other, loo'in$ uneasily at the Eueen, and in his con&usion he !it a lar$e (iece out o& his teacu( instead o& the !read"and"!utter. Bust at this -o-ent Alice &elt a %ery curious sensation, which (u??led her a $ood deal until she -ade out what it was: she was !e$innin$ to $row lar$er a$ain, and she thou$ht at &irst she would $et u( and lea%e the court0 !ut on second thou$hts she decided to re-ain where she was as lon$ as there was roo- &or her. )I wish you wouldn;t s3uee?e so,* said the Dor-ouse, who was sittin$ ne5t to her. )I can hardly !reathe.* )I can;t hel( it,* said Alice %ery -ee'ly: )I;- $rowin$.* )Cou;%e $ot no ri$ht to $row here,* said the Dor-ouse. )Don;t tal' nonsense,* said Alice -ore !oldly: )you 'now you;re $rowin$ too.* )Ces, !ut # $row at a reasona!le (ace,* said the Dor-ouse: )not in that ridiculous &ashion. * And he $ot u( %ery sul'ily and crossed o%er to the other side o& the court. All this ti-e the Eueen had ne%er le&t o&& starin$ at the :atter, and, 4ust as the Dor-ouse crossed the court, she said, to one o& the o&&icers o& the court, )Brin$ -e the list o& the sin$ers in the last concert2* on which the wretched :atter tre-!led
4I. Who )tole the Tarts6 '3
Alice In Wonderland
so, that he shoo' o&& !oth his shoes. )8i%e your e%idence,* the @in$ re(eated an$rily, )or I;ll ha%e you e5ecuted, whether you;re ner%ous or not.* )I;- a (oor -an, your 9a4esty,* the :atter !e$an, in a tre-!lin$ %oice, )and I hadn;t !e$un -y tea " not a!o%e a wee' or so " and what with the !read"and"!utter $ettin$ so thin " and the twin'lin$ o& the tea""* )The twin'lin$ o& what+* said the @in$. )It !e$un with the tea,* the :atter re(lied. )1& course twin'lin$ ,egins with a T2* said the @in$ shar(ly. )Do you ta'e -e &or a dunce+ 8o on2* )I;- a (oor -an,* the :atter went on, )and -ost thin$s twin'led a&ter that " only the 9arch :are said""* )I didn;t2* the 9arch :are interru(ted in a $reat hurry. )Cou did2* said the :atter. )I deny it2* said the 9arch :are. ):e denies it,* said the @in$: )lea%e out that (art.* )Well, at any rate, the Dor-ouse said""* the :atter went on, loo'in$ an5iously round to see i& he would deny it too0 !ut the Dor-ouse denied nothin$, !ein$ &ast aslee(. )A&ter that,* continued the :atter, )I cut so-e -ore !read"and"!utter""* )But what did the Dor-ouse say+* one o& the 4ury as'ed. )That I can;t re-e-!er,* said the :atter. )Cou $ust re-e-!er,* re-ar'ed the @in$, )or I;ll ha%e you e5ecuted.*
'4 4I. Who )tole the Tarts6
Alice In Wonderland
The -isera!le :atter dro((ed his teacu( and !read"and"!utter, and went down on one 'nee. )I;- a (oor -an, your 9a4esty,* he !e$an. )Cou;re a very (oor speaker,* said the @in$. :ere one o& the $uinea"(i$s cheered, and was i--ediately su((ressed !y the o&&icers o& the court. .As that is rather a hard word, I will 4ust e5(lain to you how it was done. They had a lar$e can%as !a$, which tied u( at the -outh with strin$s: into this they sli((ed the $uinea"(i$, head &irst, and then sat u(on it./ )I;- $lad I;%e seen that done,* thou$ht Alice. )I;%e so o&ten read in the news(a(ers, at the end o& trials, =There was so-e atte-(t at a((lause, which was i--ediately su((ressed !y the o&&icers o& the court,; and I ne%er understood what it -eant till now.* )I& that;s all you 'now a!out it, you -ay stand down,* continued the @in$. )I can;t $o lower,* said the :atter: )I;- on the &loor, as it is.* )Then they -ay sit down,* the @in$ re(lied. :ere the other $uinea"(i$ cheered and was su((ressed. )Co-e, that &inishes the $uinea"(i$s2* thou$h Alice. )7ow we shall $et on !etter.* )I;d rather &inish -y tea,* said the :atter, with an an5ious loo' at the Eueen, who was readin$ the list o& sin$ers. )Cou -ay $o,* said the @in$, and the :atter hurriedly le&t the court, without e%en waitin$ to (ut his shoes on. )""and 4ust ta'e this head o&& outside,* the Eueen added to one o& the o&&icers0 !ut the :atter was out o& si$ht !e&ore the o&&icer could $et to the door.
4I. Who )tole the Tarts6 '5
Alice In Wonderland
)Call the ne5t witness2* said the @in$. The ne5t witness was the Duchess;s coo'. ,he carried the (e((er"!o5 in her hand, and Alice $uessed who it was, e%en !e&ore she $ot into the court, !y the way the (eo(le near the door !e$an snee?in$ all at once. )8i%e your e%idence,* said the @in$. ),han;t,* said the coo'. The @in$ loo'ed an5iously at the White a!!it, who said, in a low %oice, )Cour 9a4esty -ust cross"e5a-ine this witness.* )Well, i& I -ust, I -ust,* the @in$ said with a -elancholy air0 and, a&ter &oldin$ his ar-s and &rownin$ at the coo' till his eyes were nearly out o& si$ht, he said, in a dee( %oice, )What are tarts -ade o&+* )<e((er, -ostly,* said the coo'. )Treacle,* said a slee(y %oice !ehind her. )Collar that Dor-ouse2* the Eueen shrie'ed out. )Behead that Dor-ouse2 Turn that Dor-ouse out o& court2 ,u((ress hi-2 <inch hi-2 1&& with his whis'ers2* 6or so-e -inutes the whole court was in con&usion, $ettin$ the Dor-ouse turned out, and, !y the ti-e they had settled down a$ain, the coo' had disa((eared. )7e%er -ind2* said the @in$, with an air o& $reat relie&. )Call the ne5t witness.* And, he added, in an under"tone to the Eueen, ) eally, -y dear, you -ust cross" e5a-ine the ne5t witness. It 3uite -a'es -y &orehead ache2 Alice watched the White a!!it as he &u-!led o%er the list, &eelin$ %ery curious to see what the ne5t witness would !e li'e, )""&or they ha%en;t $ot -uch e%idence yet,* she said to hersel&. I-a$ine her sur(rise, when the White a!!it read out, at
'6 4I. Who )tole the Tarts6
Alice In Wonderland
the to( o& his shrill little %oice, the na-e )Alice2*
4I. Who )tole the Tarts6
'7
Alice In Wonderland
4II. Alice1s 7+idence
Alice In Wonderland
GII. AliceFs #%idence
):# #2* cried Alice, 3uite &or$ettin$ in the &lurry o& the -o-ent how lar$e she had $rown in the last &ew -inutes, and she 4u-(ed u( in such a hurry that she ti((ed o%er the 4ury"!o5 with the ed$e o& her s'irt, u(settin$ all the 4ury-en on to the heads o& the crowd !elow, and there they lay s(rawlin$ a!out, re-indin$ her %ery -uch o& a $lo!e o& $old&ish she had accidentally u(set the wee' !e&ore. )1h, I ,eg your (ardon2* she e5clai-ed in a tone o& $reat dis-ay, and !e$an (ic'in$ the- u( a$ain as 3uic'ly as she could, &or the accident o& the $old&ish 'e(t runnin$ in her head, and she had a %a$ue sort o& idea that they -ust !e collected at once and (ut !ac' into the 4ury"!o5, or they would die. )The trial cannot (roceed,* said the @in$ in a %ery $ra%e %oice, )until all the 4ury-en are !ac' in their (ro(er (laces"all,* he re(eated with $reat e-(hasis, loo'in$ hard at Alice as he said so. Alice loo'ed at the 4ury"!o5, and saw that, in her haste, she had (ut the Li?ard in head downwards, and the (oor little thin$ was wa%in$ its tail a!out in a -elancholy way, !ein$ 3uite una!le to -o%e. ,he soon $ot it out a$ain, and (ut it ri$ht0 )not that it si$ni&ies -uch,* she said to hersel&0 )I should thin' it would !e quite as -uch use in the trial on way u( as the other.* As soon as the 4ury had a little reco%ered &ro the shoc' o& !ein$ u(set, and their slates and (encils had !een &ound and handed !ac' to the-, they set to wor' %ery dili$ently to write out a history o& the accident, all e5ce(t the Li?ard, who see-ed
4II. Alice1s 7+idence ''
Alice In Wonderland
to -uch o%erco-e to do anythin$ !ut sit with its -outh o(en, $a?in$ u( into the roo& o& the court. )What do you 'now a!out this !usiness+* the @in$ said to Alice. )7othin$,* said Alice. )7othin$ whatever+* (ersisted the @in$. )7othin$ whate%er,* said Alice. )That;s %ery i-(ortant,* the @in$ said, turnin$ to the 4ury. They were 4ust !e$innin$ to write this down on their slates, when the White a!!it interru(ted: )Ani-(ortant, your 9a4esty -eans, o& course,* he said in a %ery res(ect&ul tone, !ut &rownin$ and -a'in$ &aces at hi- as he s(o'e. )Ani-(ortant, o& course, I -eant,* the @in$ hastily said, and went on to hi-sel& in an undertone, )i-(ortant"uni-(ortant"i-(ortant""* as i& he were tryin$ which word sounded !est. ,o-e o& the 4ury wrote it down )i-(ortant,* and so-e )uni-(ortant. *Alice could see this, as she was near enou$h to loo' o%er their slates0 )!ut doesn;t -atter a !it,* she thou$ht to hersel&. At this -o-ent the @in$, who had !een &or so-e ti-e !usily writin$ in his note"!oo', called out ),ilence2* and read out &ro- his !oo', ) ule 6orty"two. All persons $ore than a $ile high to leave the court.* #%ery!ody loo'ed at Alice. )#$ not a -ile hi$h,* said Alice. )Cou are,* said the @in$. )7early two -iles hi$h,* added the Eueen.
!! 4II. Alice1s 7+idence
Alice In Wonderland
)Well, I shan;t $o, at any rate,* said Alice: ) !esides, that;s not a re$ular rule: you in%ented it 4ust now.* )It;s the oldest rule in the !oo',* said the @in$. )Then it ou$ht to !e 7u-!er 1ne,* said Alice. The @in$ turned (ale, and shut his note"!oo' hastily. )Consider your %erdict,* he said to the 4ury, in a low tre-!lin$ %oice. )There;s -ore e%idence to co-e yet, (lease your 9a4esty,* said the White a!!it, 4u-(in$ u( in a $reat hurry: )this (a(er has 4ust !een (ic'ed u(.* )What;s in it+* said the Eueen. )I ha%en;t o(ened it yet,* said the White a!!it, !ut it see-s to !e a letter, written !y the (risoner to " to so-e!ody.) )It -ust ha%e !een that,* said the @in$, )unless it was written to no!ody, which isn;t usual, you 'now. * )Who is it directed to+* said one o& the 4ury-en. )It isn;t directed at all,* said the White a!!it0 in &act, there;s nothin$ written on the outside.) :e un&olded the (a(er as he s(o'e, and added, It isn;t a letter, a&ter all: it;s a set o& %erses. )Are they in the (risoner;s handwritin$+* as'ed another o& the 4ury-en. )7o, they;re not, said the White a!!it, *and that;s the 3ueerest thin$ a!out it.) .The 4ury all loo'ed (u??led./ ):e -ust ha%e i-itated so-e!ody else;s hand,* aid the @in$. .The 4ury all !ri$htened u( a$ain./ )<lease your 9a4esty,* said the @na%e, )I didn;t write it, and they can;t (ro%e I
4II. Alice1s 7+idence !
Alice In Wonderland
did: there;s no na-e si$ned at the end.* )I& you didn;t si$n it,* said the @in$, )that only -a'es the -atter worse. Cou -ust ha%e -eant so-e -ischie&, or else you;d ha%e si$ned your na-e li'e an honest -an.* There was a $eneral cla((in$ o& hands at this: it as the &irst really cle%er thin$ the @in$ had said that day. )That proves his $uilt,* said the Eueen. )It (ro%es nothin$ o& the sort2* said Alice. )Why, you don;t e%en 'now what they;re a!out2* ) ead the-,* said the @in$. The White a!!it (ut on his s(ectacles. )Where shall I !e$in, (lease your 9a4esty+* he as'ed. )Be$in at the !e$innin$,* the @in$ said $ra%ely, )and $o on till you co-e to the end: then sto(.* There was dead silence in the court, whilst the White a!!it read out these %erses:"" -hey told $e you had ,een to her, And $entioned $e to hi$6 4he gave $e a good character, 1ut said # could not swi$.
He sent the$ word # had not gone "e know it to ,e true!6 #f she should push the $atter on,
!" 4II. Alice1s 7+idence
Alice In Wonderland
"hat would ,eco$e of you+
# gave her one, they gave hi$ two, .ou gave us three or $ore/ -hey all returned fro$ hi$ to you, -hough they were $ine ,efore.
#f # or she should chance to ,e #nvolved in this affair, He trusts to you to set the$ free, E3actly as we were.
;y notion was that you had ,een 1efore she had this fit! An o,stacle that ca$e ,etween Hi$, and ourselves, and it.
0ont let hi$ know she liked the$ ,est, For this $ust ever ,e A secret, kept fro$ all the rest, 1etween yourself and $e.
)That;s the -ost i-(ortant (iece o& e%idence we;%e heard yet,* said the @in$,
4II. Alice1s 7+idence !3
Alice In Wonderland
ru!!in$ his hands0 )so now let the 4ury""* )I& any one o& the- can e5(lain it,* said Alice .she had $rown so lar$e in the last &ew -inutes that she wasn;t a !it a&raid o& interru(tin$ hi-/, )I;ll $i%e hisi5(ence. # don;t !elie%e there;s an ato- o& -eanin$ in it.* The 4ury all wrote down on their slates, )4he doesn;t !elie%e there;s an ato- o& -eanin$ in it,* !ut none o& the- atte-(ted to e5(lain the (a(er. )I& there;s no -eanin$ in it,* said the @in$, )that sa%es a world o& trou!le, you 'now, as we needn;t try to &ind any. And yet I don;t 'now,* he went on, s(readin$ out the %erses on his 'nee, and loo'in$ at the- with one eye0 )I see- to see so-e -eanin$ in the-, a&ter all. ="said # could not swi$-; you can;t swi-, can you+ * he added, turnin$ to the @na%e. The @na%e shoo' his head sadly. )Do I loo' li'e it+ * he said. .Which he certainly did not, !ein$ -ade entirely o& card!oard./ )All ri$ht, so &ar,* said the @in$, and he went on -utterin$ o%er the %erses to hi-sel&: )"e know it to ,e true-% that;s the 4ury, o& course" )# gave her one, they gave hi$ two-% why, that -ust !e what he did with the tarts, you 'now"") )But it $oes on *they all returned fro$ hi$ to you,7) said Alice. )Why, there they are2* said the @in$ triu-(hantly, (ointin$ to the tarts on the ta!le. )7othin$ can !e clearer than that. Then a$ain" *,efore she had this fit-) you ne%er had &its, -y dear, I thin'+* he said to the Eueen. )7e%er2* said the Eueen &uriously, throwin$ an in'stand at the Li?ard as she s(o'e. .The un&ortunate little Bill had le&t o&& writin$ on his slate with one &in$er, as he &ound it -ade no -ar'0 !ut he now hastily !e$an a$ain, usin$ the in', that
!4 4II. Alice1s 7+idence
Alice In Wonderland
was tric'lin$ down his &ace, as lon$ as it lasted./ )Then the words don;t &it you,* said the @in$, loo'in$ round the court with a s-ile. There was a silence. )It;s a (un2* the @in$ added in an o&&ended tone, and e%ery!ody lau$hed. )Let the 4ury consider their %erdict,* the @in$ said, &or a!out the twentieth ti-e that day. )7o, no2* said the Eueen. ),entence &irst %erdict a&terwards.* ),tu&& and nonsense2* said Alice loudly. )The idea o& ha%in$ the sentence &irst2* ):old your ton$ue2* said the Eueen, turnin$ (ur(le. )I won;t2* said Alice. )1&& with her head2* the Eueen shouted at the to( o& her %oice. 7o!ody -o%ed. )Who cares &or you+* said Alice .she had $rown to her &ull si?e !y this ti-e/. )Cou;re nothin$ !ut a (ac' o& cards2* At this the whole (ac' rose u( into the air, and ca-e &lyin$ down u(on her: she $a%e a little screa-, hal& o& &ri$ht and hal& o& an$er, and tried to !eat the- o&&, and &ound hersel& lyin$ on the !an', with her head in the la( o& her sister, who was $ently !rushin$ away so-e dead lea%es that had &luttered down &ro- the trees u(on her &ace. )Wa'e u(, Alice dear2* said her sister. )Why, what a lon$ slee( you;%e had2* )1h, I;%e had such a curious drea-2* said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could re-e-!er the-, all these stran$e Ad%entures o& hers that you ha%e 4ust !een readin$ a!out0 and when she had &inished, her sister 'issed her, and said )It was a curious drea-, dear, certainly: !ut now run in to your tea0 it;s $ettin$
4II. Alice1s 7+idence !5
Alice In Wonderland
late. *,o Alice $ot u( and ran o&&, thin'in$ while she ran, as well she -i$ht, what a wonder&ul drea- it had !een. But her sister sat still 4ust as she le&t her, leanin$ her head on her hand, watchin$ the settin$ sun, and thin'in$ o& little Alice and all her wonder&ul ad%entures, till she too !e$an drea-in$ a&ter a &ashion, and this was her drea-:"" 6irst, she drea-ed o& little Alice hersel&, and once a$ain the tiny hands were clas(ed u(on her 'nee, and the !ri$ht ea$er eyes were loo'in$ u( into hers " she could hear the %ery tones o& her %oice, and see that 3ueer little toss o& her head to 'ee( !ac' the wanderin$ hair that would always $et into her eyes " and still as she listened, or see-ed to listen, the whole (lace around her !eca-e ali%e with the stran$e creatures o& her little sister;s drea-. The lon$ $rass rustled at her &eet as the White a!!it hurried !y " the &ri$htened 9ouse s(lashed his way throu$h the nei$h!ourin$ (ool " she could hear the rattle o& the teacu(s as the 9arch :are and his &riends shared their ne%er"endin$ -eal, and the shrill %oice o& the Eueen orderin$ o&& her un&ortunate $uests to e5ecution " once -ore the (i$"!a!y was snee?in$ on the Duchess= 'nee, while (lates and dishes crashed around it " once -ore the shrie' o& the 8ry(hon, the s3uea'in$ o& the Li?ard;s slate"(encil, and the cho'in$ o& the su((ressed $uinea(i$s, &illed the air, -i5ed u( with the distant so!s o& the -isera!le 9oc' Turtle. ,o she sat on with closed eyes, and hal& !elie%ed hersel& in Wonderland, thou$h she 'new she had !ut to o(en the- a$ain, and all would chan$e to dull reality " the $rass would !e only rustlin$ in the wind, and the (ool ri((lin$ to the wa%in$ o& the reeds " the rattlin$ teacu(s would chan$e to the tin'lin$ shee("!ells, and the
!6 4II. Alice1s 7+idence
Alice In Wonderland
Eueen;s shrill cries to the %oice o& the she(herd !oy " and the snee?e o& the !a!y, the shrie' o& the 8ry(hon, and all the other 3ueer noises, would chan$e .she 'new/ to the con&used cla-our o& the !usy &ar-"yard"while the lowin$ o& the cattle in the distance would ta'e the (lace o& the 9oc' Turtle;s hea%y so!s. Lastly, she (ictured to hersel& how this sa-e little sister o& hers would, in the a&ter"ti-e, !e hersel& a $rown wo-an0 and how she would 'ee(, throu$h all her ri(er years, the si-(le and lo%in$ heart o& her childhood: and how she would $ather a!out he other little children, and -a'e their eyes !ri$ht and ea$er with -any a stran$e tale, (erha(s e%en wit the drea- o& Wonderland o& lon$ a$o: and how she would &eel with all their si-(le sorrows, and &ind (leasure in all their si-(le 4oys, re-e-!erin$ her own child"li&e, and the ha((y su--er days. ""The #nd""
4II. Alice1s 7+idence
!7

Alice in Wonderland

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Alice in Wonderland

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Word Count: ~27,000

Alice In Wonderland By Lewis Carroll

I. Down The a!!it"hole

I. Down The Rabbit-hole

II. The <ool o& Tears

"ith gentle s$iling *aws()

II. The Pool of Tears

III. A Caucus" ace and a Lon$ Tale

III. A #a$c$s-Race and a %on& Tale

ID. The a!!it ,ends in a Little Bill

I(. The Rabbit )ends in a %ittle *ill

D. Ad%ice &ro- a Cater(illar

(. Ad+ice fro, a #ater-illar

DI. <i$ and <e((er

(I. Pi& and Pe--er

DII. A 9ad Tea"<arty

(II. A .ad Tea-Part/

DIII. The EueenFs Cro3uet"8round

(III. The 0$een1s #ro2$et-3ro$nd

IG. The 9oc' TurtleFs ,tory

I4. The .oc5 T$rtle1s )tor/

G. The Lo!ster Euadrille

1eautiful, ,eauti--F89 4'82(

4. The %obster 0$adrille

GI. Who ,tole the Tarts+

4I. Who )tole the Tarts6

4II. Alice1s 7+idence

GII. AliceFs #%idence

"hat would ,eco$e of you+

4II. Alice1s 7+idence

You might also like