Finally admitting to myself that I'm a manipulator.

I get a rush from that feeling of control over people and situations. Always usi
ng the right words and checking people's faces, tone, expressions, actions, etc
. to make sure that they percieve me and behave the way I want them to. I've bu
ilt up a great facade over the years: my family thinks the sun shines out of my
ass (despite insidiously bleeing them for money and resources), my collegues th
ink I'm generous and knowledgable (despite undermining all of them to get ahead
), and my 'love life' sucks, but people truly believe I'm some sort of player. I
n fact, for the past three years I've never had a romantic relationship that las
ted more than a month, despite wanting something substantial. Once thought I was
really into a woman and had her for almost two years, but she discovered what I
really am and left me. Right now, the only person in my daily life that I'm tru
thful to 90% of the time is my best friend. I discuss my plots with him, he eit
her encourages me or tells me to back off/where the trouble spots are, etc. Funn
y, because he's actually a pretty generous, thoughtful, and decent guy. You woul
dn't expect that from him.
All that said, my latest conundrum is with a woman I met at a company event. She
gave me her number and from then we became very close. After gathering clues, I
went in for the attack and discovered she's also a manipulator. She's nowhere
near as callous as I am, but she is engaged and cheating on her fiance. We talke
d last night after she went on a date with her other man and she told me everyth
ing; the whole plot and how she's not ready to give up the scheme, keeping her f
iance around for the house, car, and money and is leading the other guy on for h
is time, money, and energy as well. It's driving me nuts now because she's gorge
ous, I like her, and want her even if only for one night, but I have a feeling i
t's not gonna happen.
We've been flirting since she met, and she admitted that she's very attracted to
me as well but doesn't want our relationship to change. Told her I didn't do th
e 'friends only' deal with women I find attractive, just sex, but she repeated n
umerous times that she doesn't want me to go because I'm the only person who has
seen and knows her for all she is and has called her out on her lies. (the fuck
ing "friendzone" plus a taste of my own medicine.) My best friend think's I'm p
laying with fire here and I'm starting to agree, but damn, I hate not winning.
And that's the problem. I'm obsessed with winning at these things. I want to sto
p. I'm tired of thinking of her, I'm tired of trying to control the situations,
I'm tired of thinking so much about everything. Any current/former manipulators
out there? How can I stop this obsessive behavior? Or how do you deal with yours
? Thanks.