Can Teens Stay Connected Without Losing Touch?

by Emily Stimpson
June 14, 2009
Inundated with more technology than ever before, today's
young adults struggle to engage life outside the digital realm
On a Saturday morning in April, a young girl maybe 15 sits
in a crowded restaurant at a crowded table Surrounding !er are
!er parents, two younger siblings, and w!at loo"s to be an aunt
and uncle #!e $amily tal"s and laug!s w!ile t!ey eat, %umping
$rom one topic to anot!er wit! ease
&ut not t!e teenage girl
Slouc!ed down in !er c!air, s!oulders !unc!ed, !ands under t!e
table, s!e doesn't seem to see or !ear t!e c!atter going on around
!er (er $ocus is on t!e cell p!one in !er !ands, not t!e people at
!er table S!e types somet!ing )aits #!en types again
S!e is immersed in a digital world, a *irtual con*ersation, and t!e
real con*ersation, ta"ing place in t!e real world, can neit!er
capture nor !old !er attention
)!en t!e +nternet went *iral a decade ago, educational e,perts
and social critics predicted it would ma"e young people smarter,
!appier and more engaged wit! t!e world t!an e*er be$ore )it!
t!e ad*ent o$ )eb 20 interacti*e social media suc! as blogs,
te,ting, -aceboo", etc t!e same e,perts repeated t!eir praise
&ut t!e actual e*idence t!e !ard data about American
teenagers' academic per$ormance and social li*es as well as
t!e anecdotal e*idence $rom teac!ers and parents, paints a
somew!at di$$erent picture
Virtual realities
.ic" a study, any study t!e /ational Assessment o$
0ducational .rogress 1/A0.2, t!e /ational Sur*ey o$ Student
0ngagement, t!e 3aiser -amily -oundation .rogram $or t!e
Study o$ 4edia and (ealt!, t!e +ntercollegiate Studies +nstitute
ci*ic literacy sur*eys, studies by t!e /ational &ureau o$ 5abor
Statistics, t!e /ational 0ndowment $or t!e Arts, t!e /ational
6eograp!ic Society #!ey all say t!e same t!ing7 #!e *irtual
worlds teens enter w!en t!ey're te,ting under t!e table 1or
blogging, posting pictures online, lea*ing comments on people's
)eb pages, etc2 is !arming t!em as muc! as, i$ not more t!an,
it's !elping t!em #eens' 8totally connected li$e8 is s!ortening
t!eir attention spans, narrowing t!eir world*iew, damaging t!eir
ability to communicate, and leading some down a *ery dangerous
pat!
#!ere are, o$ course, many e,ceptions #!ere are teens w!o use
cell p!ones and computers wisely, teens w!o spend !ours on t!e
+nternet researc!ing religious orders or trying to understand t!e
connection between 9irgil and #S 0liot, teens w!o $ilm *ideo
podcasts to spread t!e 6ospel, and w!o still lo*e curling up wit!
a good boo" &ut t!ey are not t!e norm
8+t's not t!at t!is generation is less intelligent t!an pre*ious
generations,8 said 0mory :ni*ersity pro$essor 4ar" &auerlein,
aut!or o$ #!e ;umbest 6eneration7 (ow t!e ;igital Age
Stupe$ies <oung Americans and Jeopardi=es Our -uture 8And,
o$ course, digital tec!nology can and does deli*er good content to
t!em #!e problem is t!at's not w!at t!e *ast ma%ority o$ teens
are using t!ese tools $or #!ey're using t!em $or w!at 15>year>
olds care about7 Ot!er 15>year>olds8
As &auerlein sees it, social media !as loc"ed teens into a world
w!ere peer contact and social li$e no longer ends at ? pm w!en
it's time to %oin t!e $amily $or dinner +nstead, it goes on 24 !ours
a day, @ days a wee" *ia blogs, social networ"ing sites and, o$
course, te,ting
8)!en + was 1? and wal"ed into my parents !ouse, my
connection wit! my peers was o*er $or t!e day + !ad to sit at t!e
dinner table and listen to my parents tal" about money or politics
)alter Aron"ite was on in t!e bac"ground tal"ing about t!e
9ietnam )ar + didn't care about t!ose t!ings, but + couldn't !elp
but o*er!ear t!em
8#oday's teens s!ut all t!at out,8 !e continued 8#!ey're te,t
messaging at t!e dinner table, t!en t!ey spend t!e rest o$ t!e
e*ening in $ront o$ t!e computer, posting on blogs or c!atting
wit! $riends 0*en w!en t!ey're logged o$$, social li$e is still
going on Someone could be posting a comment on t!eir blog or
writing somet!ing about t!em online #!ere is no escaping t!eir
peers8
#!at ne*er>ending peer contact lea*es little room $or learning
about politics or reading Jane Austen +t also lea*es little room
$or adult *oices, t!e *oices t!at, in t!e past, !a*e taug!t teens t!e
art o$ con*ersation, modeled maturity $or t!em, and us!ered t!em
into t!e adult world
8#eenagers can't grow up i$ t!eir main contacts are wit! ot!er 1@>
year>olds,8 said &auerlein 8<ou grow up by modeling older
people #!ey're t!e ones w!o teac! you t!ere is a bigger !ori=on
t!an !ig! sc!ool, a bigger time$rame t!an last wee"8
#!ey're also t!e ones w!o teac! you t!e di$$erence between rig!t
and wrong And wit! adult *oices increasingly drowned out by
t!e *oices o$ t!eir peers, many teens are na*igating t!e digital
world wit! t!ose peers as t!eir only guides )!ic! !as somet!ing
to do wit! w!y 42 percent o$ c!ildren ages 10 to 1@ !a*e already
*iewed pornograp!y online 1according to a 200@ :ni*ersity o$
/ew (amps!ire study2 +t also !as somet!ing to do wit! t!e
latest teen trend in*ol*ing tec!nology7 8Se,ting8
angerous trends
+n a nuts!ell, 8se,ting8 is sending se,ually e,plicit pictures o$
yoursel$ to someone else *ia te,t message #!is trend $irst !it t!e
!eadlines last summer, w!en a 1@>year>old Aincinnati girl,
Jessica 5ogan, !anged !ersel$ a$ter a nude picture o$ !ersel$ t!at
s!e te,ted to !er boy$riend was sent on to t!e p!ones o$ !undreds
o$ !er classmates 8Se,ting8 resur$aced in t!e news again last
mont!, w!en students at a 4assac!usetts %unior !ig! made
!eadlines by 8se,ting8 a *ideo o$ two o$ t!eir classmates !a*ing
se, to !al$ t!eir sc!ool
:n$ortunately, t!ose e,amples aren't isolated instances
According to a study conducted by t!e /ational Aampaign to
.re*ent #een and :nplanned .regnancy, 22 percent o$ teenage
girls t!at's more t!an one in $i*e admit to 8se,ting8 or
posting pornograp!ic pictures o$ t!emsel*es online
Only in a world w!ere t!e primary *oices you !ear are t!ose o$
your peers, does anyone t!in" it's a good idea to send na"ed
pictures o$ t!emsel*es out into digital space &ut, li"e &auerlein,
-at!er ;a*id 4arstall, a !ig! sc!ool teac!er and campus minister
in t!e ;iocese o$ )ic!ita, said t!at is t!e world many teens
in!abit
8+n terms o$ getting a message across, + !a*e a lot o$
competition,8 !e said 8As muc! as + try to teac! students in t!e
classroom or 4ass, t!ere are a lot o$ ot!er people teac!ing t!em
ot!er ideas, ideas opposed to w!at we want t!em to !a*e And
t!ey're listening, accepting post>modernism and all t!at goes
along wit! it8
Losing !ersonal touch?
-at!er 4arstall is no stranger to tec!nology (e uses -aceboo" to
get in touc! wit! teens or post in$ormation about campus e*ents
(e posts podcasts o$ !is Sunday !omilies on !is campus ministry
website and recogni=es social media's *alue to !is ministry as a
communications tool &ut, !e also recogni=es t!at all t!e te,ting
teens are doing 1an a*erage o$ 2,2@2 te,ts per mont! according to
t!e /ielson Ao2, as well as -aceboo" posting and instant
messaging, is c!anging t!e way t!ey communicate and
understand $riends!ip
8#!ey communicate more $reBuently, but less personally,8 !e
e,plained 8#!ey struggle to e,press w!at's important to t!em
and to organi=e t!eir t!oug!ts because t!ey'*e grown accustomed
to !a*ing con*ersations one line at a time8
Cebecca ArnoldD, a mot!er o$ $i*e girls, is witnessing t!at
struggle $irst!and According to Arnold, !er two oldest daug!ters
ages 2E and 14 bot! pre$er te,ting or instant messaging
t!eir $riends to tal"ing wit! t!em And alt!oug! s!e strictly limits
14>year>old 3at!leen's computer use, 1and encourages personal
get>toget!ers and p!one calls2, !er e$$orts are normally met wit!
$rustration
8.!one calls last $i*e minutes at t!e most,8 s!e said 8+'d be
!appy to get 3at!leen a p!one $or !er room, but at t!is point, s!e
doesn't want one8
#!e reason w!yF
0,plained 3at!leen, 8+ don't "now w!at my $riends and + would
tal" about8
Instant gratification faith
&eyond c!anging !ow teens communicate wit! one anot!er,
-at!er 4arstall also sees social media c!anging !ow teens
communicate wit! 6od
8<oung people today !a*e grown up wit! 6oogle,8 !e said
8#!ey're accustomed to as"ing Buestions and $inding answers
Buic"ly &ut w!en t!ey get to Buestions t!at t!ey can't answer in
a $ew minutes, t!ey gi*e up And w!en it comes to t!e spiritual
li$e, to discerning a *ocation or understanding t!e mysteries o$
t!e $ait!, answers don't come Buic"ly Aon*ersion is !arder $or
teens today compared to 15 years ago8
+t's not, !owe*er, %ust matters o$ $ait! t!at teens struggle to re$lect
upon Studies cited in &auerlein's boo" point to digital media's
across>t!e>board impact on s!ortened attention spans
#!e blin"ing, $las!ing screens, brie$ amounts o$ te,t, and
!yperlin"ed in$ormation in t!e digital world 8conditions minds
against Buiet, concerted study, against imagination unassisted by
*isuals, against linear seBuential analysis o$ te,t,8 summari=ed
&auerlein
And because t!eir social li$e !inges on t!eir participation in t!at
world, it's not easy $or teens to wal" away and wor" on
de*eloping t!e s"ills necessary to counteract t!ose problems
8At 1@, t!ere's not!ing worse t!an being e,cluded,8 said
&auerlein 8A "id can't ris" not getting t!e message t!at e*eryone
is meeting at Starbuc"s at 4 pm )!en a parent ta"es away a cell
p!one because it's getting too e,pensi*e, t!ey see it as ta"ing
away t!eir teenager's toy #!e teenager sees it as ta"ing away
t!eir li$e8
"o!e for new media
6i*en all t!ese problems and pit$alls, it mig!t be tempting $or
parents or teac!ers to attempt a re*ersion bac" to t!e pre>digital
age, issuing a ban on computers, cell p!ones and t!e li"e &ut
0ugene 6an, pro$essor o$ new media tec!nologies at -ranciscan
:ni*ersity o$ Steuben*ille, said Aat!olics need to be wary o$
8t!rowing t!e baby out wit! t!e bat!water8
8#!e A!urc! !as actually been *ery positi*e about t!ese new
tec!nologies and about yout! using t!em $or t!e glory o$ 6od,8
!e e,plained 80*ery year on )orld Aommunications ;ay, we
get yet anot!er message $rom t!e A!urc! tal"ing about t!e good
t!at can come $rom t!ese tools8
#!e tric", o$ course, is using t!ose tools wisely, and 6an
conceded t!at t!e younger generation is $ar $rom mastering t!at
8)e !a*e to loo" at w!at need young people are trying to $ul$ill
t!roug! all t!e te,ting and se,ting and posting on -aceboo",8 !e
said 8#!at's w!ere abuse o$ t!ese tools is coming in And t!en
we need to de*elop guiding principles $or t!e use o$ t!ese
tec!nologies, principles t!at can !elp us use t!em as t!e gi$ts
t!ey truly are8
#!ose principles, 6an continued, !a*e already been laid out $or
Aat!olics in A!urc! documents on communications #!ey
include7 using t!e media to $acilitate, not replace, real world
relations!ipsG encouraging balance and moderation in useG always
respecting t!e in!erent dignity o$ t!e !uman personG and using
t!e media to inspire a lo*e o$ t!e good, t!e true, and t!e
beauti$ul
84edia !as t!e power to attract people to beauty and trut! and to
inspire a greater desire to learn about t!e world,8 6an concluded
8+t really is a gi$t $rom 6od #!e Buestion is not7 8;o we use itF8
+t's7 8(ow do we use itF8 )e need to gi*e young people a better
map t!an we'*e gi*en t!em so $ar #!ey're adri$t in a sea o$
media, and i$ we're not care$ul, t!ey'll be lost in it8
Limited access
Aontrary to w!at t!e culture says, parents don't need to turn t!eir
teenager's bedroom into a computer command center
+n $act, t!ey need to do %ust t!e opposite, said ;r 4ar"
&auerlein, aut!or o$ 8#!e ;umbest 6eneration,8 and A!ristop!er
A!apman, a senior educational consultant $or t!e ;iocese o$
.ittsburg!
Our Sunday 9isitor recently as"ed bot! specialists w!at parents
can do to limit tec!nology's !arm$ul e$$ects on t!eir c!ildren
#!eir suggestions include7
&anning computers $rom t!e bedroom7 Aomputers s!ould only be
used in public areas and wit! a parent's e,press permission,
w!ic! bot! limits t!e time t!at can be spent in $ront o$ t!em and
pre*ents teens $rom going w!ere t!ey s!ouldn't in t!e *irtual
world
CeBuire $ull access7 .arents' s!ould only permit t!eir c!ildren to
!a*e a -aceboo" or 4ySpace page 1or blog or website2 i$ t!ey
!a*e $ull access to t!e site #!ey also need to use t!is access
regularly to monitor content and acti*ities
-ilter, $ilter, $ilter7 #a"e ad*antage o$ di$$erent so$tware
programs t!at allow you to $ilter +nternet content andHor monitor
w!ere eac! user o$ t!e $amily computer goes w!en t!ey're online
5imit screen time7 Set a time limit $or computer use 1and
tele*ision watc!ing2 during t!e e*enings and on wee"ends
(a*e a reBuired reading !our7 4a"e it a nig!tly e*ent One $ull
!our wit! no interruptions 1t!at means no sending or recei*ing
te,t messages2
#able calls at mealtime7 +nstitute a cell p!one ban at mealtimes
and during $amily time
5imited calling plans7 )!en purc!asing a cell p!one plan $or a
teenager, i$ possible, ma"e it an 8emergencies only plan8 1ie,
8pay as you go82 At t!e *ery least, !a*e t!e p!one's picture
ta"ing capabilities turned o$$ and strictly limit t!e te,t messaging
capabilities
.lan intergenerational e*ents7 +n*ite grandparents and older
neig!bors o*er $or dinner, so t!at teens are e,posed to stories and
ideas outside o$ t!eir peer group
-amily time, unplugged7 Spend time toget!er doing t!ings t!at
don't in*ol*e tec!nology 6o $or a dri*e or a !i"e, play games,
tal" about current e*ents, wor" on pro%ects around t!e !ouse and
in t!e yard, or *olunteer toget!er at a local c!arity
&e an e,ample7 5imit your own time on t!e cell p!one and
computer, modeling $or your c!ildren w!at t!e balanced use o$
tec!nology loo"s li"e
+ntroduce t!em to 0uc!aristic Adoration7 ;rop t!em o$$ at t!e
A!urc! once a wee" $or one !our o$ silent, $ocused prayer +t's
t!e per$ect antidote to $las!ing screens, beeping p!ones and ot!er
noise>producing mac!ines
#alling behind
;espite t!e billions o$ dollars in*ested by parents and sc!ools in
educational tec!nology, American students still aren't ma"ing t!e
grade7
On t!e 2005 /A0. tests7 5E percent o$ American twel$t! graders
scored 8below basic8 in !istory, 4? percent scored 8below basic8
in science and 2@ percent scored 8below basic8 on literary tests
all results comparable to or worse t!an t!ose $rom similar tests
administered in 200E, 2001, and 1994
According to a study conducted by t!e /ational Aon$erence o$
State 5egislators, only 10 percent o$ teens can name t!e current
spea"er o$ t!e (ouse o$ Cepresentati*es Si,ty percent, !owe*er,
can name t!e current 8American +dol8
+n t!e 200? 6eograp!ic 5iteracy Sur*ey, ?E percent o$ teenagers
could not identi$y +raB on a map
+n 4ay 200@, AA# reported in 8Cigor at Cis"7 Cea$$irming
Iuality in (ig! Sc!ool Aore Aurriculum8 t!at 8t!ree out o$ $our
AA#>tested 200? !ig! sc!ool graduates are not prepared to
ta"e credit>bearing entry le*el college courses wit! a reasonable
c!ance o$ succeeding8
#!e +nternet may put a *eritable 5ibrary o$ Ale,andria at
teenagers' $ingertips, but most seem only interested in t!e
maga=ine and music sections7
Only @ percent o$ 1J>29 year olds go online to read about
political news and current e*ents, says a 2005 .ew Cesearc!
report
#!e same study reports t!at 4J percent o$ teens *isit social
networ"ing sites li"e -aceboo" at least once a day
and t!at E0 percent o$ teenagers !ost t!eir own blog or )eb
page
The Catholic $arent's %uide to Social &edia
#!e world o$ social media !as e,ploded lately, allowing $or many
$orms o$ interactions not imagined %ust a $ew years ago (ere are
t!e pros and cons o$ *arious $orms o$ social media
#aceboo' ( &yS!ace
What they are) Social networ"ing sites w!ere people post
pictures, $ind old $riends, send messages to members, and c!at
wit! one anot!er
%reat for yout! ministers and teac!ers w!o want to post
in$ormation about e*entsG $riends spread out across t!e countryG
s!aring pictures o$ $amily *acations, sporting e*ents, etc
*easons for concern) +$ pri*acy controls aren't set correctly,
strangers can *iew your teen's pro$ile and c!at wit! t!em
+nappropriate pictures are o$ten posted by teens and adults, and
inappropriate ad*ertising s!ould be e,pected 6ossip, rumors and
plain old teen nastiness o$ten spiral out o$ control on bot! sites
S'y!e
What it is) A downloadable so$tware program t!at allows people
to ma"e and recei*e calls wit!in t!e :S $or $ree and $rom
anyw!ere around t!e world $or a *ery low $ee -or t!ose wit!
*ideo capabilities, S"ype also allows you to see t!e person to
w!om you're tal"ing +nstant messaging is also o$$ered
%reat for teens and young adults spending a semester
abroadG c!ildren w!o li*e $ar away $rom grandparents, aunts,
uncles and cousinsG or $riends w!o'*e mo*ed across t!e country
*easons for concern) +$ pri*acy settings aren't set correctly,
strangers can in*ite your teens to tal" Also, i$ t!ey $ill out t!e
in$ormation $or a 8.ublic .ro$ile,8 anyone $rom anyw!ere can
*iew t!eir pro$ile
+ouTube
What it is) A *irtual *ideo store containing $ree !omemade
mo*ies, clips $rom tele*ision s!ows, scenes $rom mo*ies, old
newsreels and more
%reat for !omesc!oolers and teac!ers w!o want to introduce
c!ildren and teens to important moments in !istory 1$or e,ample,
4artin 5ut!er 3ing's 8+ (a*e a ;ream Speec!8 is a*ailable2, as
well as $or aspiring $ilmma"ers w!o want to post t!eir s!ort $ilms
$or $riends to see
*easons for concern) Alt!oug! t!e (anna! 4ontana <ou#ube
*ideo to w!ic! your daug!ter's $riend sent !er a lin" may be $ine,
w!en s!e goes to *iew t!e *ideo, ot!er lin"s on t!e side o$ t!e
page are li"ely to direct !er to !ig!ly ob%ectionable *ideos #!ere
is no way to control w!at lin"s, images and additional *ideos $or
*iewing accompany e*en t!e best o$ <ou#ube's o$$erings, so
parental super*ision is ad*isable
Weblog
What it is) An online %ournal o$ a person's t!oug!ts and
opinions, as well t!eir lin"s to or commentary on t!e latest news
about t!em, t!eir $amily and $riends or t!e world at large
%reat for aspiring writers and t!ose in need o$ a creati*e
outlet w!o want to learn to respond in a Buic", cogent way to
news, culture and li$e in general
*easons for concern) Once upon a time, teens "ept pri*ate
t!oug!ts under loc" and "ey in a diary /ow, t!ey post t!em $or
t!e world to see #eens o$ten don't !a*e t!e maturity to discern
w!at in$ormation is not $or public consumption Some e,perts
also belie*e blogs encourage a type o$ sel$>re$lection t!at can
lead to narcissism Alose parental monitoring can !elp guard
against t!at
Cell !hones
What they are) 0*eryone "nows cell p!ones are $or tal"ing, but
$or most teens, t!ey're more li"e mini>!and!eld computers, w!ic!
gi*e t!em t!e ability to te,t message $riends, download
in$ormation o$$ t!e )eb, and bot! ta"e and send pictures and
*ideos
%reat for parents w!o want a li$eline to t!eir teen and w!o
want t!eir teen to !a*e a li$eline to t!em
*easons for concern) #eens o$ten don't !a*e t!e maturity to
%udge w!at pictures and *ideos s!ould or s!ould not be sent or to
limit t!eir te,t>messaging .arents, !owe*er, can !a*e t!e
p!one's picture ta"ing capabilities turned o$$ by t!e retailer and
opt out o$ purc!asing a te,t>messaging plan
Twitter
What it is) #witter is a"in to 8micro>blogging8 9ia t!eir cell
p!ones, users send 8tweets8 brie$ messages up to 140
c!aracters to t!eir 8$ollowers8 1people w!o !a*e opted to
recei*e t!eir stream o$ 8tweets82 #weets can be deli*ered to your
cell p!one or computer
%reat for communicating somet!ing $ast to your nearest and
dearest wit! t!e pus! o$ only one button, and "eeping up to date,
in a $airly passi*e way, on w!at's !appening in someone's world
*easons for concern #!e same as te,t messaging and
blogging7 Sending messages better o$$ not sent and $alling into
t!e !abit o$ t!in"ing your e*ery t!oug!t and action is wort!y o$
being broadcast to t!ose w!o call t!emsel*es your 8$ollowers8
Tech time
A 2009 study by a &ritis! researc! group $ound t!at teens spend
an a*erage o$ E1 !ours per wee" online #!e brea"down includes7
,-. hours instant messaging t!eir $riends
/ hours on <ou#ube
, hours loo"ing $or !omewor" !elp
0 hours on social networ" sites
1 hour loo"ing $or weig!t loss or beauty tips
1 hour and 23 minutes *iewing pornograp!y
and 1 hour and 23 minutes downloading music