HowtoHelpYourChild

EnjoyandSucceedatPianoLessons

byJosephHoffman,M.M.
Dearparents,
WelcometopianolessonsatHoffmanAcademyofMusic!Getreadytobeginawonderfulmusical
journeywithyourchild.Thisguidewillprovideyou,theparent,theinformationyouwillneedtomake
theselessonsasuccess.YourjobathomeistofilltheroleofDailyPracticePartneraveryimportant
role.Butdontworrythisguidewillprovideyouallthestructureandinformationyouneedtobea
greatDailyPracticePartnerand,bytheway,youdontneedtohaveANYpriormusicalexperienceto
beasuperDailyPracticePartner.Allyoureallyneedisthefollowing3Skills:
Abilitytoscheduleandconsistentlycarryoutadailypracticesessionwithyourchild.NOTE:
Youwontbesendingyourchildtothepianotopracticealoneforthefirstyearoflessons.
ThesepracticesessionsshouldusuallybedoneTOGETHER,asachildparentteam.For
beginners,usually1520minuteseachdayisenoughtomakegoodprogress.Forchildrenwith
shorterattentionspans,youcantrydividingpracticeintoshortersessions23timesaday.
Abilitytonotovercorrectyourchild.Oneofthefastestwaystokillmotivationinachildisto
repeatedlytellthemtheyaredoingsomethingwrong.Yes,Iwantyourchildtoplaycorrectly,
buttheFASTESTwaytoachieveexcellentplayingistoengagethechildsOWNDESIREtoplay
well.Asaparent,thismeansgettingoutoftheway,nottalkingandcorrectingsomuch,and
lettingthechildlearnanddiscoverathisorherownpace.
Abilitytokeeppracticesessionsfunandpositive.Keeppracticetimelightheartedandfun,
andyourchildwillkeepcomingbackformorewillingly!TryusingthePracticeGamesI
describelateron,whichwillhelpkeeppracticesessionsfun.Also,rememberthepowerof
positivelanguage.Begenerousandwarmwithyourpraise,whilealsomakingitspecificand
sincere.
u
ping
tobe
hugelyrewarded.Youaregoingtogiveyourchildthepricelessgiftofalifetimeofmusicmaking!
Now,letsgetmorespecificaboutdevelopingandsucceedingateachofthese3Skills.
Ifyouwillconsistentlyfocusonthese3Skills(evenifyouarentperfectatthem100%ofthetime),yo
willhavewhatittakestobeafantasticDailyPracticePartner.Andthemoreyouworkatdevelo
these3Skills,thebetteryouwillbecome.Whenyoucombinequalityteaching(ourjob)witha
committedDailyPracticePartner(yourjob),Iguaranteethatyouaregoingtobeamazedatthe
unfoldingofyourchildsmusicalability.Yourinvestmentoftime,commitmentandenergyisgoing
SKILL#1:Abilitytoscheduleandconsistentlycarryoutadaily20minutepracticesessionwithyour
child.
Tosucceedatthisskill,dailyconsistencyistherealkey.Letsdosomequickmathtoseewhyconsistent
practicingissocriticaltoyoursuccess.Weregoingtocompareastudentwhopracticeseverydayfor20
minutes(StudentA)withastudentwhopracticesjusttwiceaweekfor20minutes(StudentB).Each
week,StudentAwillrackup140minutesofpracticetime,whileStudentBgetsatotalofonly40
minutes.Nowletsmultiplythisacrossayearofpracticing:
StudentA
140minutesperweekx52weeks=7,280minutes
StudentB
40minutesperweekx52weeks=2,080minutes
Basedonthemathalone,wecouldpredictthatStudentAwillprobablyhavemademorethanTHREE
TIMEStheprogressofStudentBduringtheyear.Sadly,therealityisevenworseforStudentBthanthe
mathwouldtellyouitisverypossiblethatStudentBwillnotbemakinganysubstantialprogressatall!
ThereasoniseverytimeStudentBdoesmanagetositdowntopractice,mostofthetimeisnotspent
developingnewskills,butrathersimplytryingtorememberwhatwaslearnedlasttime.Whateverlittle
progressismadeislostinthedaysthatgobyinbetweenpracticesessions.Ihavetaughtseveral
StudentBstudents,andmyexperienceisthattheydonotlastlong.Mostwillwanttoquitwithinjust
afewmonths.Thereason?Itisimpossibletoenjoylearningthepianowhenthereisnoprogressorvery
littleprogress.
Ontheotherhand,astudentwhodoespracticeregularlyisgoingtobeachievingnewlevelsofskill,
almostdaily.Thisstudentwillbeexcitedabouthisorherprogress,whichwill,inturn,makeiteven
easierthenextdaytofeellikegoingtothepianotopractice.Thegreatestdestroyerofmotivationislack
ofprogress.Thegreatestcreatorofmotivationissuccess.Ifyouwantyourchildtostaymotivatedand
toloveplayingthepiano,thenyoumustsethimorheruptomakesteady,consistentprogress.This
meansregulardailypractice.
Heresalittleformulatoremember:
Consistent
Practice
Excellent
Progress
Increased
Motivation
Theoppositeistrue,too:
Below,youwillfindafewmoretipsformakingdailypracticesuccessful:
Scheduleaspecifictimeforpracticingeveryday,thensticktoit.Readjustandrecommitas
manytimesasnecessary.
Makesurethereareaminimumofdistractionsduringpracticetime,suchasTV,etc.
Somechildrenmayrespondwelltoarewardsystemlinkedtodailypracticing.ThethingIdont
likeaboutrewardsystemsisthattheycandistractachildfromtheTRUErewardwhichisthe
satisfactionofbeingabletoplaythepianowell.However,occasionallyachildneedsalittle
motivationboostandarewardsystemthatissimpleandwelldefinedcouldbejustthe
answer.Heresoneexample:sevenconsecutivedaysofpracticingearns10points.20
accumulatedpointsearnsacandybar.50pointsearnsatriptothestoretogeticecream.100
pointsearnssomebiggeritem.Choosewhateversystemwillbemostmotivatingtoyourchild
(itsagoodideatoaskfortheirinput).Keepitsimple,anddontletitreplacethenaturalreward
whichistheenjoymentofmakingmusicalprogress.
Toconclude,itismyexperiencethatthesurestwaytopredictsuccessisNOTthestudentsmusical
talentbutbyhowconsistentlythestudentpractices.
OK,letsmoveontoSkill#2:
Skill#2:Abilitytonotovercorrectyourchild
Thereisthisfunnyurgethatparentshavearoundpianopracticing.Icallitovercorrecting.Kidswould
probablycallit,Yourebuggingme!AsIhavediscussedthisissuewithmystudents,theoverwhelming
messagethatIhearisthatkidsfinditveryannoyingtogettoomuchfeedbackfromMomorDadwhile
practicing.Thefunny(andsad)thingisthatevenparentswhoareperfectlyintelligentandsociallyadept
canoftenfailtonoticehowtheirovercorrectionishurtingthesituationmuchmorethanitishelping.
Thekeyistolistenandrespondtoverbalandnonverbalcuesyouaregettingfromyourchild.Believe
me,ifyourfeedbackisnotwelcome,yourchildwillletyouknoweitherverballyorthroughbody
language.Andifyourfeedbackisnotwelcome,itstimetobackoff.Ifyoudont,thingsarelikelyto
LittleorNo
Progress
Irregular
Practice
Decreased
Motivation
escalateinanegativedirectionandpracticetimewillnolongerbetheenjoyableexperiencewewantit
tobe.
Now,Imnottryingtosayyoushouldnevergivefeedback.Thatwouldgoagainstthewholeconceptof
havingaDailyPracticePartner.Again,thekeyistolistenandwatchthereactionsofyourchild,andto
findagoodbalancebetweencommentingandnotcommenting.Useyourchildsreactionsasakindof
metertoknowhowyouaredoing.Remember,wewantmusicmakingtobecomesomethingthatyour
childLOVES,sodontmakepracticetimesomethingtheydreadbybeinganag.
Afewhelpfulprinciplesandideastokeepinmind:
Provideatleast5positive(sincereandspecific)commentsforevery1correctivecomment.
Whenprovidingacorrectivecomment,focusonjustonethingatatime,ratherthan
bombardingwithmultipleissues.
Framecorrectivecommentsasgentlesuggestions,notsterncommandsorcriticisms.Say:
Maybeletstryslowingdownalittlethistime,ratherthan:SLOWDOWN!Youreplayingso
sloppy!
Whenchildsucceedsinmakingacorrection,makesureyoutaketimetocelebratethat
achievementtogetherbeforemovingontoanotherproblem.Forexample:Good!Youplayed
thewholesongwithoutmissingasinglenote.[makeeyecontactandgiveawarmsmile]Now,
thistimeletsscootbackonthebenchandseeifyoucandoitagainwithgoodpianoposture.
Sometimesitisbesttoremainsilentaboutsomething.
Achildlearnsbestwhendiscoveringthingsforhim/herself.Toomuchfeedbackorcorrection
causesachildtoessentiallyturnoffhis/herbrainandstoplearning.Thisisoftencalledshutting
down.YouveprobablyseenthisandknowwhatImtalkingabout.
Remember,helpingyourchildstaymotivatedismoreimportantthanbeingright.
Kidslovereversingroles.Allowthemtotakeaturnbeingtheonetogivefeedbackaboutyour
playing.Feelfreetoplayfullymakemistakesonpurposeandseeiftheycancatchyou.
IfyouaredoingSkill#2right,itmayfeellikeyouarebitingyourtonguealot.Anditmayinfactdrive
youcrazytonotsaysomeofthethingsyouwanttosay.But,inthelongrun,therewardwillbea
motivatedchildwholikespracticing,ratherthanafrustratedchildwhowantstoquit.Thechoiceis
yours!
Skill#3:Abilitytokeeppracticesessionsfunandpositive
Kidslovegames.Evenkidswithmajorattentionproblemsareoftenabletoremain100%focusedwhen
tryingtowinagame.Usethistoyouradvantageduringpracticesessions.Ratherthanboring,endless
drilling,useaPracticeGame!
HereareatwosimplePracticeGamestouseoften:
PlayYourAge.Towin,thestudentmustplayonelineorphraseofasongwithnomissednotes
asmanytimesashis/herage.(Adultsandstudentsover10yearsoldcanstopat10.)The
PracticePartnerkeepstrackofpointsbyplacingapennyorsmallpieceofcandyonthemusic
standeverytimethestudentplaysthephrasecorrectly.Whenyouhaveearnedasmanypoints
asyourage,youwin!WHENTOUSE:Thisisanexcellentgameforthefirstfewpracticesessions
afterlearninganewsong.
WinOne,LoseOne.ThisgameisbasicallythesameasPlayYourAge.Towin,youstillhaveto
earnasmanypointsasyourage(or10pointswhicheverislower).Theonlydifferenceisthat
youLOSEonepointforrepetitionswithoneormorewrongnotes(NOTE:youcantgobelow
zeropoints).Whenyoutakeapointaway,dontsayawordjusttakeitawayandnoticeyour
childsreaction.Youwillbesurprisedtofindthatmostkidswillactuallysmilethefirsttimethis
happens.Theylovethechallengeandwilloftenpersistatthisgameformany,manyrepetitions
inordertowin!Ifachildcannotwinafter5minutes,praisethechildwarmlyforconcentrating
sowell,andsuggestthatperhapsweshouldtrywinningthegamenexttime.WHENTOUSE:
Sincethisgameismorechallenging,onlytrythisgameAFTERthestudentisstartingtohave
someconfidencewiththenotes,butstillneedssomepolishingwork.Thisgameisalsoagreat
choiceforstudentswhothriveonachallenge.
WhendoingaPracticeGameitisVERYIMPORTANTthatyoukeepthespiritplayfulandfun.Games
providetheirownfeedback,soyoudontreallyneedtogivemuchverbalfeedback(praiseorcorrection)
duringaPracticeGame.Justletthepointsspeakforthemselves,andwatchhowwellyourchildcan
focuswhenyougetoutoftheway.Ifitseemslikeachildcoulduseabreakorifyouneedsome
laughter,tryswitchingroles,andallowthechildtoawardortakeawaypointswhiletheparentplays.
(Besuretomakesomemistakesandmakeabigdealwhentheytakeapointaway!)
InadditiontomakingpracticetimeFUN,remembertouselotsofPOSITIVElanguage.Trytolookfor
thingstopraiseatleastasmuchasyoulookforthingstocorrect.Evenachildwhoisplayingmany
wrongnotescanbepraisedforconcentratingorfortryinghis/herbest.Whenofferingpraise,remember
thatthemostmeaningfulpraiseisspecificandsincere.AsmentionedalreadyinconnectionwithSkill#2,
youshouldmaintainatleasta5to1ratioofpositivetonegativecommentsinordertohelpyourchild
haveapositivefeelingaboutpianopracticing.Byallmeans,avoidscoldingandlecturing.Focusonyour
childsprogress.Focusonthejoyofmusic.Usepositivelanguage,keepaplayful,lightheartedspirit,
andhavelotsoffun!
Summary
Letsreviewthe3skillsyouneed,justonemoretime:
Helpestablishaconsistentdailypracticeroutine
Participatemeaningfullyinpracticesessionswithoutovercorrecting
Helpmakepracticesessionsfunandpositive
Learningmusicislikelearninganew,highlycomplexlanguage.Itwilldemandalotofpatience,
dedication,andlovefromyouasaparent.However,Iam100%certainthatyouwillbealwaysgrateful
formakingtheinvestmentinyourchildsmusicaldevelopment.Yourchildwilldevelopmusicaltalents,
awarenessandappreciationthatwillenrichhimorherforlife!