Kid Stuff

(Poems written between the ages of 8 18)

What would Happen?
History Lessons
Good Manners
Leonards Nightmare
Square Dancing on the Hill
The Lonely Loon
Comeback of a Clown
Never Fall For a Porcupine

Teen Tips





What would Happen?

What would happen tell me pray
If the groundhog came today?
It is just the first you know
Would winter come, or would it go?
Would spring hasten on its way?
What would happen?

What if he would come the third?
That is something quite absurd,
The weather might be, oh, so bleak
And hed go to bed for a long six weeks.
But if the sun were shining bright
What would happen?

If something should upset his schedule,
And he didnt come out to see his shadow?
Ground Hog Day would be disrupted.
Everything quite interrupted.
What would happen if that would happen?
Poor old groundhog.


Age 9 My first poem. It earned an Outstanding Minus (O+)
rating. The minus was for incorrect punctuation.












History Lessons


When reading about history
We sometimes think its dry
To learn how our ancestors
Taught airplanes how to fly.

And how they caught the lightning bugs
And caged them up in glass
So we could have the lectric lights
To see in History Class.

And how they looked for many years
To find those little men
That fit inside the radio;
For history again.

But then I think when Ive been gone
For quite a long, long while
If I could see my great-grandchildren
I would really have to smile.

If I could see their faces
With that cute disgusted look,
When they read bout us kids doings
In their modern History book.











Good Manners














































4
















Leonards Nightmare

I dreamed a great big Apple Pie

With eyes and mouth and nose

And arms and legs was chasing me

And caught me by the toes.



























5







Square Dancing on the Hill


Max is the youngest square dance caller
In the Town of Chance
He started out by watching
When his folks went to a dance

He listened, learned and practiced
When no one was at home
With a borrowed square dance record
And a little microphone.

When he thought that he was ready
As ready as could be
He called his friends to join him
For a square dance jamboree

They started in the basement
Where he showed them all their places
Then he turned the music on
And put them through the paces.

They soon learned how to dosido
And promenade the ring
Chain across and make a star
Left allemande and swing.

The kids were having so much fun
They began to whoop and roar
And soon the noise was plainly heard
Up to the second floor.

Then Max heard his mothers voice
Please go outside and play
What are you doing in the house
On such a sunny day?

Max took the tape recorder
And his little microphone
And they all gathered in the yard
Of Maxs hillside home.



Max climbed upon a handy stump
And looked up at the hill
Theres a way to do this, he exclaimed\
If you guys have the will.

Come on, he said, lets square em up
We can do this if we try
And he began to call a dance
Beneath the clear blue sky.



6


All join hands and circle left
Go all around the square
Some go up and some go down
And some go everywhere

Head two ladies chain across
Just send her high or low
Turn around and send her back
Dont let her stub a toe.

Side two ladies, do the same
Guys send your gal across
Turn around and send em back
Show them whos the boss.

Allemande your corner girl,
Then dosido your own
If youre down you must go up
If up, you must go down.

Soon the neighbors heard the noise
And came outside to see
what the excitement was about
and soon joined in the glee.

Now folks come over once a week
And things are never still
When Max begins to call for
The square dance on the hill.




The Lonely Loon


A lonely loon was swimming along
And as she swam she crooned a song
She would drift back and forth
From the south to the north
With her head bowed down low
Did she search for a beau?

She was lovely, that loon
All alone neath the moon
Swimming alone, all alone



7

I could hardly pretend,
That Id be her friend
Cause Im just a lone abalone.

One day, along came another lone loon.
Swimming alone upon the lagoon
He soon saw a lady loon floating by
It was nearly high tide
So he rushed to her side
Said You look like youre going to cry.

Im alone and lonely; theres just me only
I would certainly welcome a friend
Said he with a smile, we can drift for awhile
But there is no need to pretend
If youll be my bride, Ill stay by your side
And well never be lonely again.








Never Fall For a Porcupine


I love my mate, hes really great
Although hes sometimes prickly
And when he gets his dander up
Youd better move on quickly
He can be gentle as a lamb;



8

And usually quite benign.
Unless hes mad; then dont forget
That hes a porcupine.

Youll find that my true love is sweet
Though I dont like to brag.
He wears his colors proudly
And loves to fly his flag.
Hes quick to defend his property
And he has a lot of spunk;
But be careful not to frighten him
After all he is a skunk.












My spouse is such a charmer
He sits upon a lily
And begs the ladies for a kiss
Well doesnt he look silly?
If they believe he is a prince
Theyre in for a surprise
Hes just a great big bull frog
Not royalty in disguise.

My love is fond of formal wear
And loves to strut his stuff



9

Im always proud to walk with him
I just cant get enough
Sometimes I think he doesnt care
Then much to my chagrin
He lays a pebble at my feet
To show hes my Penguin.















Comeback of a Clown


There once was a clown in the days of old,
And this is the way his storys been told.
His name was Pepito, he could do lots of tricks
And the children that watched him sure got lots of kicks.
He was the most famous clown in the whole world around
For there wasnt a better one to be found
But when the war started Pepito, you see,
Said since this worlds been so good to me
Im leaving the circus and joining the army
The enemy will have a hard time to disarm me
No amount of coaxing would change the clowns mind
He joined in the army to help all mankind.

So the days and the weeks and the months passed away
With no word from Pepito, the clown once so gay



10

We finally heard from the world famous clown
He was lying in a hospital in a foreign town.
His sight was gone, he was totally blind
And buried deep in Pepitos mind
Was a picture so gruesome, a bomb from the skies
Had shattered the sight from his once alert eyes.
Except for that instant his mind was erased
His faith too was lost in the ruins of disgrace.
So two men decided to get him to act
To bring back to him the faith that he lacked

One day they visited Pepitos room.
The ex-clown was moody and steeped in gloom.
Introductions didnt do very much good
Pepito still looked like a man made of wood.
The younger man spoke then, and heres what he said
My dad was a good man, though now he is dead.
He took me one night to see a great show
The performer was one everybody should know
Performing that night was Pepito the great
Known through every town, village and state
It was that night that I made up my mind
Id be an actor and act for mankind.

Yes, I remember well, Pepito sighed
Oh, is this him dad, a tiny voice cried.
The Mr. Pepito, you mentioned today.
And who is this, they heard the clown say
Its my son, Chunky, the man spoke once more.
Hes heard me talk of you often before.
He said Mr. Pepito, the clown stammered low
Just like the children at my very last show
Ah how they laughed, I shall never forget
I see their faces in memory yet.
Please, do your act for me, Chunky pleaded
This was the chance the two men needed




11

Well get your clown suit and make-up and things
Can you perform without any rings?
The clown said he would for the childs delight
So he acted again though he had lost his sight
And billboards and newspapers soon proclaimed
That the circus was starring Pepito the famed
But hed be surprised if he could but know
That Chunky was a dummy and was used in a show.
Pepito recovered the faith that he lacked
With the help of a dummy and ventriloquist act.

















12

Teen Tips

Are you the belle of the ball
Or a flower on the wall?
Or are you just a simple stay-at-home?
Its no secret I will tell;
You all could be a bell.
But you must use the hidden features that you own.

Now your hair is beauty plus
And it isnt too much fuss
To comb your hair and brush it every night.
Then take a little care with the style of your hair
And choose one that will suit your face just right.

Now your face is next in line.
You use makeup? Thats just fine.
If you know the art of making up your face.
Study it a little more.
Its all in beauty lore
To use makeup if its in the proper place