1.

A Stray Railroad Incident

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In one of those cold nights
When you wish you were snug in your bed
But you couldn't and you have to be
In an uncomely railway shed

And the locomotives, the lifeless demons
Come and go without a care
Wheels turning and whistles blowing
With an inhuman forward stare

And you wish your one came
Earlier rather than late
For the cold is hurting and rain is pouring
And you can't care to wait

Somewhere in a faraway sack
A tea stall or in a paper stand
There lurks a lonely figure
With a leg broken or a missing hand

A stray figure, one that seldom matters
May be a leper or a whore
There are many that you have seen
But this one you can't ignore

Somehow in that luckless being
You can see a part of you
A part of you that you never were
A part that was never you












2. An Ode
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In whispers you come and in dreams you go
Not a real thing to hold on to
Who cares for reals when dreams suffice
Who wants a form for such true disguise

Like that fading shine that is lost in time
I subside to this love sublime
Not pride not anger not hate nor shame
I woo you in peace Oh, whom I can't name.
































3. Decay Redemption
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Every time she looked out of the window
She could only see the clouds sailing by
No one could listen to what she wanted to say
No one looked at her till she began to die
The days came and went and nothing happened ever
Until the walls came down and it was for all to bear

There stood the frame
Which once was human
Now it's just flesh and skin
In decay it is redeemed

She lifted herself only to fall again
She has no hope left she has nothing to gain
No one can listen to what she says
Everything comes as a silent scream
The hours pass like ever before
Until she falls down for one last time

There stands the frame
Dead and torn in pain
It stinks of a life gone by
In decay it is redeemed

She sees the story getting old and dear
She pleads for death but it refuses to come near
In pain she stands as her deeds deride
The past comes over and in it she has to bide
Look anywhere the sight of flesh is so clear
The lyric of death plays the song of a jeer

There falls the frame
Never to rise again
No one comes to claim
As in decay she is redeemed.






4. I Rot
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Everyday that I wake up
I can feel the presence of yours

You are there, so my mind reminds
Although I have left it all far behind
All of you that I was
But what of all you that I still am
That never left with the passage of time
There is still that part of mine
So much you that I can't even hide

My dreams they dream of the dreams we dreamt
But my numb soul has got none for it
I give up in disgust this feeling
It is so lost so forlorn
Just like this piece of paper
That is torn, beyond recognition

In all my moves to reveal the truth
Behind what seems today like a fantasy
I am lost in an imaginary tapestry
And on my path to perdition I realize
Everything was possible
But then everything was a lie
So in the inside, I am lost and I die
Everyday I Rot And lose what was I.















5. Kill Me Instead
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I wake up in the middle of night in a bout of sweat
I see around me to find nothing that I expect
All my moves are suddenly held by some magic trick
I break upon my bindings and keep myself awake

But how can I remain awake
when every next breath
Is a pain I can't take & I begin to choke
In my own breath
Life is a pain I cant bear
I wish you'd
Kill me instead

Still I do get up to end this suspense of frustration
I get up for once and for all to break this iron chain
But what do I know what I will have to confront
It is the me that I find as my deadly opponent

But how can I fight the me
How can I hurt
What is so surely me
Is my enemy but
I push myself even more
To get myself dead
How dearly I wish
I was killed instead

My fate drives me forward but is it really ahead
I feel like dying and then living like an undead
Time stands as witness as I fall to my dark deeds
As I am gone, gone and will, I will never rise again

I am gone but I see myself
In the mirror of time
I have wiped the me completely
But not the sins of mine
My sins take over me
As I am born again
How dearly I wish
I was killed instead.

6. Let Me Be Gone
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If only you could have seen
What lay beyond and what lay beneath
If not my words
Could youve heard my thoughts speak

If only you could have felt
The feelings that never seemed much
If not my embrace
Could youve sensed my silent touch

With the dreams that cant be shown
And with the thoughts that cant be thrown
I drown, in you for once and for all
So let me inand let me be gone..

If only you could have known
The light that inside me you used to glow
If not my face, not myself
Could youve loved my soul that lived for your's

If only I could have been
Your love and not what you wanted me to be
If not forever
Could Ive had you for this life to live

With the dreams that cant be shown
And with the thoughts that cant be thrown
I drown, in you for once and for all
So let me inand let me be gone..












7. Look Beyond
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Look into the mirror, are you there
Or is it some apparition looking at you
What looks so real is it true
Or are you being taken on a ride
Look beyond the obvious and realize
What you were meant to be
Answer to yourself answer your eyes
Feel the light, the darkness will leave
Light up your mind
There is no lie that can hide
Yourself from you
Stand witness to your deeds
Wake up the man that is lying inside
Wake up before you lose your life.



























8. Mother
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There were days when I was down
A tear in my eyes or just a frown
And there were those when it was all fun
And those when I had to sprint and run
There were friends and there were foes
There were highs and there were lows
Time went fast for me sometimes
And it stood still some other times
There were crowds but I was alone
There was silence but I heard storms
That's when mother, I have found you
Whenever I've wondered who to turn to
For a soothing word or a smiling face
For that caring touch, that healing grace
In no temple, no church, that I've been to
Did I find Mom a God, truer than you...

























9. My Inside
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This is what happens in the end
When everything is forgotten down the memory lane
A ghost of thought rises up suddenly
Clutches my throat until I die of agony
Blood sprouts down like from a never ending stream
Taking all the life and all my dreams
I feel you in the inside of me
Pushing me out of my own sanity
The bridge breaks down with a banging sound
Your presence is a thought but to it I am bound.

This is what happens in the end
When there is no one to look back, who I am
I am but, a sad victim of time
Forgotten faster than a lightening shine
You move on with your head held high
I live on in a world of sighs
Everywhere I go the same prying eyes
Get to my inside more than you ever tried
All my attempt to close them down
Ends in the despair of a defeated clown.

This is what happens in the end
I pray for death but it never came
Lying on my face on the rotten ground
I think of what I lost and what you found
World moves on like nothing is wrong
Pushed aside I am not game for long
The same eyes that once comforted me
Tear me apart so surprisingly
I am longing for to be back in that time
When you were inside me committing your crime.









10. Memoriam
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Has the world lost its colors
Is it all in shades of grey
That's how it's now for me
From you now that I am away

People have come and people will go
But not to all you can hold on to
I am caught forever in your light
I am crowded in your shadows

In my new world and in my old pain
May be I will settle down the lane
But how can I forget you, my old place
Every breath I take will remind me



























11. On Time
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Days pass, months pass and pass on years
Caring not for who bears smiles and who sheds tears
The race that has begun
Must go on, reach its conclusion

Memories, some sad and some of joy
That this mind stores
Only to replace them with each passing moment
By newer scores

Those who fall by, the heroes unsung
And the villains glorified
All give way to newer ones
The better evens and the lesser odds

Goods and bads, fars and dears
All get buried in time
Time is a great healer
So the saints chime

Wreaths lay on the silent tombstones
And the sons and daughters crave
The moments gone by in rapture and dismay
But no dead turns in the grave

A moment gone is a moment lost
Never will it come
So enjoy those figments of time
And treasure atleast some.












12. Pipe Dreams
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Living in the worst part of the world
It is a crime even to dream
So I have decided to keep myself down
Live my life just as it seems

I am not worried if the world goes awry
As long as I have my bread crumb
I am not sorry if you are in a hurry
And your train is long gone

Every morning light I enjoy the sight
Of a mad running crowd
It's my daytime job to watch them all
Moving so confidently in doubt

Live Life King Size the cigarette hoarding says
Alone, unseen throughout the day
I am sitting, watching, maybe waiting
To catch the burning butt thrown my way

I am happy and I don't even mind
The occasional burn or the little groan
The carelessly thrown one has done
I'll be glad to have it a second time

Every thing you can see here but the first glance
Is often the last chance
A fleeting feeling which goes the same way
As it comes....to never come back

This life is the time to party high(they say!!)
with all your mates
Got no company, never mind
The flies will join you there

In the downward climb of life you'll find
A loser like me so many times
But please, don't pity me, I am fine
I was like this all the while


I don't care for the niceties that you have
I have no use of them
My stale bread and cold tea is alright
I am no victim of pipe dreams.









































13. Scavengers Of Soul
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There was a time when your soul used to live
There was a time when you could see
You realized...
The truth, the stain, the wrong of your ordain
And that was the day, you became a renegade.

To rise above the fruity of this glorious insanity
You rise above your destiny to see the world in purity
To do away this agony to make way for impunity
You scavenge for a soul.

The scavengers of soul
Are here
So come out of your drool
They are here
Just stop your aimless stroll
Let them tear
And go scavenge a soul.

This is the time come out of your deception
This is the time, time for your redemption
You let go...
Let go off the darker side of yours
Let's put a soul into the soulless life of yours

Peel off the mask that you have donned
See the truth as it beckons in the horizon
Take this last chance to survive the ordeal
Come out with me and let's scavenge for a soul

The scavengers of soul
They stare
So let's break the rules
Because we dare
Rampage this holy sphere
And go scavenge a soul.





14. To & From Paradise
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Why do I stand up for what I know is untrue
Why do I agree to the lies, the sin that is you
Why do I look for what that never was there
Why do I live for the mistake that I am..

May be, I am the fool of the century
No thought to shed before an action
A loose wheel with zero traction
Lost in a dream that will never end
I will be lost before a chance is on grant
Lingering on the threshold of reason
While the monsters come and lure me
To the other side of sanity
I am forever lost in a surmise
On a trip to & from paradise.

Why do I do what that I hate so dearly
Why do I enter into this guise that hides me
Why do I betray the trust of my life
Why do I accept this eternal strife..

May be, I am too far gone to be saved
My confidants have all but betrayed
The broken shreds are all lying about
The same that once shone in pride
My shrieks, they only deafen me
Getting lost within the I that will never be
I dream of the life that I long to live
As the ghosts of past put me through another deceit
Forever lost in this surmise
On a trip to and from paradise.










15. Where Am I
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Where was I
Somewhere in the sky
So much in life, I forgot
Just where was I
I came back
Back on the track
But did I get back
No, and then I cried

Did anybody hear
Did anybody care
Did anybody come near
Did anybody wipe my tear

Where was I
Somewhere in the sky
On a roller coaster ride
Till I was dying of agony
I hung on to my dream
Which ended in a scream
What did this mean
Will somebody explain

Can anybody see
I am falling by
And this is no lie
I am just a failed try

Wherever am I
I wish I was not there
I just want to be back
Back on the ground
Not in some uncertainity
I want to be back
I want the surety
To see my life as it subsides

Stop this time
I want to stand
I am sick of this flight
I want to pull back.
16. Woo You Once More
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I am singing
A song of my mind
But the words don't seem to flow

I am trying
To hold mylelf
But I can't and I am letting go

Just let me stay
In this dream today

I am praying
To freeze this time
And hoping there's no tomorrow

I am living
Caught in a storm
Holding on to a shadow

Will it drift away
Will I be alone again

I am coming
Out of my sleep
And it's so beautiful

I am stealing
A sight of your face
And keeping it....forever

Hold me and let me feel your presence
Catch me in my fall from here again

I am giving
A part of me
To someone I don't know

I am giving
All of me
To someone I don't know

17. My Emptiness

My tiny emptiness that you see
The little space that none has ever given its worth
Even the sky has forgotten to cover it
Though it has embraced the entire earth

Off wander the desires wild
Over my void , seeking ground to camp on
They want no shelter, no cover, no home
Nothing from my empty, barren form

My emptiness calls for a soul to share
Its agony and the pain of being alone
But the desires they ignore, and sail yonder
Leaving my emptiness, undesiredunknown