FR E

KUTA WEEKLY
E

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Volume 7, Issue 399

Crusoes

BALI V-TWIN DOCTOR

Kuta Townhouses

DO YOURSELF A FLAVOUR

Try our
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29

Monday to Sunday
5:30pm to 10:30pm

Bali is a Bargain
Malaysia Star Lists Bali Among Ten Cheapest Places to
Go in 2014
The Malaysian Star has ranked Bali at #2 in its list of the
10 cheapest places to go on Holiday in 2014.
That Bali is popular with Malaysian travelers is
demonstrated by its ranking as the third largest source of foreign
visitors to Bali after Australia and Mainland China.
For the first half the year through the end of June 109,298
Malaysians visited Bali.
The article says great accommodation options still exist in
Bali at RM 27 per night (US$8.40).
www.balidiscovery.com

If you have any interesting articles or would like to advertise please send to
info@kutaweekly.com - Ph. 087 860 904 078

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

The Fruit of our Labors

legislation that would require the use
vegetable into Bali.
Provinces Considers Requiring the
To safeguard the livelihoods of Bali of local fruit in Balinese religious offerings.
Use of Local Fruits in Bali Hotels
Ideally, according to Sudikerta,
farmers, the provincial administration is
and Hindu Religious Ceremonies
considering legislation requiring hotels to sanctions would be imposed on hotels and

The province of Bali is seeking ways

to increase the income of Bali farmers and
bolster the Island's agricultural sector.
The trend towards trade
liberalization is a double-edge sword for
Bali's agriculturalists. On one level it will
open the door of world trade to Balinese
farms products, while, at the same time,
allowing a freer flow of imported fruits and

purchase 50% of all fruit produce from Bali

sources.
Quoted by Radar Bali, the vicegovernor of Bali Ketut Sudikerta insists that
Bali is already producing high quality fruit,
admitting, also, that further improvements in
quality are possible to enhance their
competitive position vis--vis imported fruit.
Sudikerta is also encouraging

religious worshippers who failed in their legal

responsibility to use local fruits.
Meanwhile, many hotels admit that
local fruit quality is improving, but problems
remain in obtaining a continuing, sustainable
supply across the entire year.
www.balidiscovery.com

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

BALI THE RIGHT WAY

G'day again folks and what a great few weeks worth of break we
have just had. A fair bit of water seems to have rushed under the
bridge in such a small amount of time and I can safely say that a
few of us have probably learnt a few lessons as a result. It seems
that the powers that be on the island are working very hard to make
Bali as safe as it can be for the travellers which have numbers that
are swelling to new highs. They are stopping parking on many
aliasj@kutaweekly.com
little gangs that just cant take parking motorbikes and have cars
passing through at the same time. They have secured many new patrol men in and around the smaller
gangs to try and stop the pickpockets from doing the damage that they do to the good name the island has.
There are many things that are happening at an offical level that we never even hear of. Over the next few
weeks we have been offered a few sit down interviews with a particular high ranking policeman who is
very keen to release details about ongoing efforts and strategies that have been put in place over the last
few months to bolster the safety of all who travel and live in Bali. There is obviously only so much that
the force can do to keep the streets safe and as a colleague of mine said a few weeks back the animals
come out to feed at night so please keep your wits about you should you find yourself on the streets in the
wee hours. Every ones vigilance helps for the sake of your own safety and the safety of others.
Ok moving along this week I'd like to give a warm welcome to a few new businesses that have jumped
onboard and are now supporting our local paper. A huge big cheers goes out to MyWaySubs and The
Mine Shaft these guys are living here and have decided that the missing thing on the main street is a
decent sandwich bar so hey presto, we now have a fresh, well priced, high quality sandwich bar open.
The guys will deliver and have a good understanding of how things operate here on the island. The Mine
Shaft is a place you can go and relax and enjoy a few coldies while watching your favorite sport or
catching up with friends. The atmosphere is about as perfect for a coupla cold ones and not a bad place to
spend and afternoon or two or three.. Thanks to the powers that be at the Mine Shaft and we hope to see
you in our pages fopr many years to come. You can check out MyWaySubs and The Mine Shaft on
page 31.

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

The Road Less Traveled

Bali Toll Way Seeks
Higher Traffic Volumes
On October 1, 2104
Bali's only toll way The
Bali Mandara Toll Road
will celebrate its first
anniversary.
The road over
Benoa Bay was built at a
cost of Rp. 2.5 trillion
(US$217 million) in order
to reduce severe traffic
congestion in the Island's
southern region.
Despite the construction of
the toll way and new underpass
traffic congestion remains a
problem as evidenced during the
just completed Idul Fitri holidays.
When the toll road was
initially opened, managers
targeted a traffic volume of
39,000 vehicles each day as

being needed to cover

operating costs and make a
return on the investment to
shareholders. Traffic volumes in
March (33,662 vehicles) and
May (36,509) continue to fall
short of these expectations.
The managers of the toll
way claim the failure to meet
targeted vehicle volume was a
failure on their part to calculate

the impact of the new

Dewi Ruci Underpass.
Planning ahead, the
toll operators are targeting
a volume of 44,000
vehicles each day
comprised of 45%
motorcycles and 55% fourwheeled vehicles.
In order to increase
loads even further a traffic
study review is planned for
later this year and a
publicity campaign to encourage
higher usage of the roadway.
Will the toll road increase
its rates? A spokesman for PT
Jasa Marga Bali Tol told Radar
Bali that increases do not
typically take place during the
first two years of a new road's
operation.
www.balidicovery.com

Get Inked @ Bali Ink

We will also make a big warm welcome to Tom Yum Resturant These guys seem to know their stuff
and are offering some really authentic Thai
cuisine at really good prices. They have an all day
special on the beers at 17k per green bottles and if
you take the time to go have a try, you will see it
probably is one of the best little Thai feeds in the
district. Thanks again to the powers that be at
Tom Yum and we look forward to seeing you in
our pages for many years to come.
Ok folks thats about all I have room for again this
week amd I trust that the most of you stay safe,
happy, healthy and always try to remember, Blood
makes you related, but Loyalty makes you family,
Enjoy Your Week,
ALIASJ.

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

WEEKLY SPORTS PROGRAMMES

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Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Are tourist demands threatening Bali's future?

More than 10 million
people are expected to
visit Bali this year, but
locals say the demands
of tourists are
increasingly threatening
the Indonesian island's
f u t u r e .
The annual number of
visitors now outnumbers the
local population by almost
three times, causing a conflict
between the lure of the tourism
dollar and the traditional Balinese
way of life.
What's this mountain
called? asks one reporter as he's
shown around by environmental
activist Moko.
Mount Rubbish, he replies
bluntly. Kids used to draw pictures
of the sun rising behind green
mountains. Now it's a mountain of
rubbish.
Thousands of cubic meters of
unsorted waste are dumped there
every day, leaching toxins into the
groundwater.
Campaigners say it's just one
example of the way tourism is
damaging the island and making life
i n c r e a s i n g l y d i ff i c u l t f o r i t s
permanent residents.
Phyllis Kaplan says rising
demands on the limited local water
supply are also threatening

traditional rice farmers.

She formed the Sawah Bali
foundation to protect the traditional
Subak irrigation system in the padi
fields and the farmers that tend
them.
W h e n y o u h a v e
development it disallows that Subak
system to work efficiently, delivering
water democratically to those who
need it, she says.
If there is no water, then we
all die, one of the farmers tells
David. Please don't take all the
water from the springs to sell to
hotels.
But with land prices
increasing by 1000 per cent in five
years, some hard-pressed farmers
are finding it hard to resist selling to
developers.
And it's those developments
that others say are the key to Bali's
future economic success, as it looks
to attract greater numbers of tourists
from Australia, and increasingly

from within Indonesia

and China.
Reclaiming land to
create nine islands for a
tourist park in Benoa Bay in
the south of the island is one
of the latest plans to divide
opinion.
We have to widen our
area that is a must if it
will not damage the
environment, Bali's
governor Made Pastika tells
David. We need jobs, we need new
icons of tourism.
But the area was an official
conservation area until a newly
issued presidential decree
controversially removed its status to
allow 'revitalization'.
It's going to kill my business,
claims diving shop owner I Nyoman
Sugita. They're going to kill all the
reef, the fish, the coral, it's all gone,
it's going to destroy this area.
Elsewhere on the island,
activist and artist Sayur is holding
out against developers. His best
known work is a huge 'Not For Sale'
sign in the middle of his rice padi.
The rice fields are my last
defense, he tells David. With all the
villas, the profession of farmer has
changed drastically.
We Balinese should take the
move to save Bali before it's too
late, fellow campaigner Dedik
Rachman says. Bali is so small and
we don't have time to play around.

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Visitors More Welcome than New Residents

custody were
underage children.
Because those caught
by officials had family
members waiting on the dock
who guaranteed the
newcomers, most were
allowed to leave the port area
with their families.
Officials conducting
the raid checked identity
cards and interrogated
arriving passengers about
their plans to take up
residency on the Island of

Bali Screens Island

N e w c o m e r s
Arriving at the Port
of Benoa
As many as 58 people
were rounded up in a joint
operation by Denpasar
Municipal Officials, local law
enforcement (Satpol PP),
Armed Forces and Police
conducted at the Port of
Benoa on Friday, August 1,
2014.
As reported by
Metrobali.com, those identified in
the raid were newcomers to Bali
apprehended as they
disembarked from ships landing in
Bali. When checked by officials
those taken into detention for
eventual expulsion lacked official
identification cards (KTP) and/or

were unable to demonstrate

fixed employment in Bali.
They were netted in the
raids because they had no KTP or
other form of identification,
explained the chief of population
mobility for Denpasar, I Made
Rapog.
Many of those taken into

Bali.
The raids are intended to
discourage the creation of a
floating mass of unemployed
people in Bali and to supplement
data maintained by the province
on unemployment levels.

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Future cell phones to recharge from air after rain?

MIT s c ie ntis ts ha v e
discovered a way to get
an electric current out of
water droplets. Enough
power to charge mobile
phones can be drawn
from water condensing
and jumping from a super
hydrophobic surface.
Researchers from
Massachusetts Institute of
Technology (MIT) have come
up with a simple device that
not without some
improvements could power electronic
devices with 'green' energy.
The study by postdoctoral
scholar Nenad Miljkovic, Associate
Professor of Mechanical Engineering
Evelyn Wang, and two others was
published online in the journal Applied
Physics Letters.
The new technology functions
on a basic physical principle water
condenses and jumps away from
certain kinds of surfaces, called
hydrophobic as they repel water, and
is attracted to other ones, hydrophilic.
The beauty of this subtle process is
emphasized by its name, the Lotus
effect.
The generator, which is able to
get electricity out of thin air, is
comprised of two arrays of metal
plates, with water droplets moving
from hydrophobic to hydrophilic
surfaces. Jumping like kangaroos that
bring charge from one plate to
another, water droplets create charge

10

difference that can be

harnessed to provide power.
Although the initial tests
involved copper plates, any
conductive metal would do, including
cheaper aluminum, said Milijkovic.
Furthermore, the scientists
claim, the device has a side benefit:
the system could also produce clean
drinking water.
Water will condense out from
the atmosphere, it happens naturally,
Milijkovic told MIT. The atmosphere is
a huge source of power, and all you
need is a temperature difference
between the air and the device.
However, some constraints are
inevitable. A cave or river would be
ideal, as the device requires a humid
environment, and a source of
temperatures should be colder than
the surrounding air.
Though the amount of power
produced in initial testing was really
small just 15 picowatts, or trillionths
of a watt, per square centimeter of

metal plate scientists

are quite positive about the
outcome. Miljkovic says the
process could easily be
upgraded to achieve at least 1
microwatt, or millionth of a
watt, per square centimeter.
According to
calculations, it would take 12
hours to fully charge a mobile
phone at such an energy
production rate and one
would need a device with
proportions of a cube
measuring about 50cm per
side. This could be a good result for
people in remote areas, who may
have few alternatives.
The latest finding is based on
another MIT discovery. Back in 2013,
researchers found out that when
water droplets spontaneously jump
away from superhydrophobic
surfaces during condensation, they
can gain electric charge in the
process. Initially, the team tried to
develop an improved heat-transfer
surface that could work as a
condenser, but over the course of the
year they turned from power plants to
much more compact devices.
Chuanhua Duan, an assistant
professor of mechanical engineering
at Boston University who was not
involved in this research, said,
Getting power from a condensation
process is definitely a novel idea, as
condensation is mainly used for
thermal management.

11

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

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News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

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13

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Going Ape Wild in Bali

Surge of Monkey Attacks at
East Bali Religious Site See
Canadian Backpacker Bitten
In recent weeks monkeys
populating Pura Sad Kahyangan
Lempuyung an important
religious site in the traditional
village of Purwayu in
Karangasem, East Bali, have
taken to attacking visitors.
On Thursday, July 31, 2014,
one day after one of the primates
attacked and bit a female Hindu
Devotee, Ni Ketut Sutarmi,
praying at the temple, a Canadian
tourist Boris Gionet Blanchet (19)
also suffered serious bites to his
calf.
While there have been a
number of Balinese worshippers
bitten by the temple's monkeys in
recent months, this is the first time
the monkeys have attacked an
overseas visitor.
Blanchet was taken to the
nearby Karangasem General
Hospital in Amlapura where his
wounds were treated and he was

released.
Local residents living near
the temple reported the attack to
the Village Chief (Kelian) of the
traditional village of Purwayi, I
Nyoman Jati.
Jati, who is also the
chairman of the committee
charged with the development and
care of Pura Sad Kahyangan
Lempuyung Luhur, asked the
Karangasem Disaster Prevention
Team (BPBD) to assist.
BPBD officers from
Karangasem, coordinated by I
Wayan Sueta, responded by

visiting the temple to help

evaluate the injured tourist.
Reports in NusaBali sayt
that the Canadian and his
companion refused the
assistance of local guides who
carry air-powered rifles when
accompanying tourists to ward off
the increasing frequent monkey
attacks.
According to those in
charge of the temple complex,
over the past four months at least
five people have been bitten by
monkeys who make their home at
the religious site.
In response to the attacks,
the regent of Karangasem, I
Wayan Geredeg, promised to
quickly take steps to end the
monkey attacks by seeking
assistance from the police and
armed forces.
Separately, traditional
Balinese ceremonies are planned
at the complex to bring spiritual
power to end the attacks.
www.balidiscovery.com

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15

Kuta Weekly

Sports Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Drop Tigers, bring back Wests Magpies, says rugby

league great Mark Geyer
RUGBY league
legend Mark
Geyer has
called for the
Wests Tigers
NRL club to
drop Tigers
from their name
and to bring
b a c k t h e
Magpies.
The Balmain
Tigers and Wests Magpies, both
foundation clubs, merged in 1999
after members voted
unanimously to unite to survive a
cull of teams decided by the NRL
following the Super League war.
But according to Geyer,
who played for a season with
Balmain, the time has come to
sever all ties with the club.
It's time the West Tigers
became just Wests, Geyer said
onTriple M's The Grill Team.
Since they became one,
West Magpies have been the
poor brother of the Balmain

Tigers and it's high time it

stopped.
Demographically, western
suburbs (has) the monopoly on
the juniors, geographically they
have a supporter base to yearn
for, yet when it comes to catering
for those fans, the four games
they get this year in
Campbelltown were the
Cowboys, the Broncos, the
Raiders and last night, the Storm.
(On Monday) night the
fans spoke with their feet, in an
act I reckon of defiance and
frustration.

FIRST IN
INDONESIA

They've
had enough.
Since '99 when
they merged, the
Magpie of the
joint venture has
been virtually lost
(except for the)
inch-high magpie
on the shoulder
of their jersey.
And what about
the respective
leagues clubs of
t h i s j o i n t
venture? One is thriving in
Ashfield while the other is an
eyesore on Victoria Road sitting
like a vagrant.
The NRL is in the process
of appointing three independent
directors to a new-look sevenmember board later this month.
This is said to include two
Wests and two Balmain directors
but the Balmain directors won't
have any voting rights until a $4
million loan is repaid to the NRL.
It's been 15 years since the
clubs joined forces, last tasting
premiership success in 2005.

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Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

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Casualty ward: Luke Lewis, Wade Graham, Jacob Gagan,

Shaun Fensom and Elijah Taylor out for the season
THE Sea Eagles could be
without star backrower
Anthony Watmough (Knee,
TBC) for Friday night's
blockbuster against the
Rabbitohs.

half-time in their romp

of the Raiders. The
powerhouse centre was
struck down with a
hamstring complaint and
didn't see out the match.
Cronulla's injury woes
continue to deepen with
stars Wade Graham (Foot,
season), Luke Lewis (Leg,
Season) and rookie winger
Jacob Gagan (Hamstring,
Season) to miss the rest of
the season.
Canberra's season
from hell continued after
they lost perennial
workhorse Shaun Fensom
(Ankle, Season) for the
season. Prop David
Shillington (Pectoral,
Season) and utility Kurt
Baptiste (Shoulder, Season)
have also played their last
game this year.

Watmough suffered a knee

injury against the Broncos and is
still awaiting scan results.
Bronco Justin Hodges
(Hamstring, TBC) was also injured
in the same game. He went down
with a hamstring injury and no date
has been set for when he will
return.
For the Rabbitohs,
barnstorming forward Sam
Burgess (Shoulder, Round 22) has
been named and is expected to
play after being a late withdrawal
from last week's game against the
Knights.
The Warriors lost Konrad
Hurrell (Hamstring, TBC) right on

THE Sea Eagles could be

without star backrower
Anthony Watmough (Knee,
TBC) for Friday night's
blockbuster against the
Rabbitohs.
Watmough suffered a knee
injury against the Broncos and is
still awaiting scan results.
Bronco Justin Hodges
(Hamstring, TBC) was also injured
in the same game. He went down
with a hamstring injury and no date
has been set for when he will
return.
For the Rabbitohs,
barnstorming forward Sam
Burgess (Shoulder, Round 22) has
been named and is expected to
play after being a late withdrawal
from last week's game against the
Knights.
The Warriors lost Konrad
Hurrell (Hamstring, TBC) right on

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Kuta Weekly

Sports Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Kuta Weekly Surf Chart

........

proudly sponsored by:

AUG 2014
Date
Thurs 7
Fri
8
Sat
9
Sun 10
Mon 11
Tue 12
Wed 13

6am
2.0
1.8
1.6
1.2
0.9
0.6
0.4*

7am
2.0
1.9
1.6
1.3
0.0
0.9
0.6

8am
1.9
2.1*
2.1
2.0
1.7
1.4
1.0

9am
1.7
2.1*
2.1
2.0
1.7
1.4
1.0

10am 11am 12am 1pm 2pm

1.4
1.2 0.9 0.8 0.7*
1.8
1.5 1.2 0.8 0.6
2.1
1.8 1.5 1.0 0.7
2.3* 2.1 1.8 1.3 0.9
2.4* 2.4 2.1 1.7 1.1
2.3
2.4* 2.3 2.0 1.5
2.1
2.4 2.4* 2.2 1.8

3pm
0.8
0.5*
0.4
0.5
0.6
0.9
1.2

4pm
0.9
0.6
0.4*
0.3*
0.3
0.4
0.6

5pm
1.1
0.8
0.5
0.3
0.1*
0.1
0.2

6pm
1.3
1.1
0.8
0.5
0.3
0.1*
0.1*

Open For Lunch & Dinner, 10.30am Till late

Western Food * Portugese Food *Indonesian Food * Balinese Food
Aussie, Steak, Ribs & Peri-Peri Chicken

LIVE BAND
Start 7.30pm
Every Friday

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Benesari St.

Sports Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Poppies 2

Kuta Weekly

Benesari St. K
LEGIAN St.

Jl. Benesari No. 20 Legian - Kuta

HP. 082 144 214 377
Capo Chunky Chunks

Manager Capo : 081 237599734

We are
HERE
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Kuta Weekly

20

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

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Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Sports Corner

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Jack Gunston set to miss key matches for Hawthorn

as club confirms knee injury
H AW T H O R N ' S f i n a l s
preparations have been
dealt yet another injury
blow with ace forward
Jack Gunston facing
three weeks on the
sidelines.
Gunston injured his medial
ligament against the Western
Bulldogs on Sunday, forcing the
club to make more running repairs
to its attacking setup.
The Hawks are tied at the top
of the ladder on 56 points with
Geelong and Sydney Swans, but
even the smallest slip over the
next month could cost Alastair
Clarkson's men a first home final.
Football manager Chris
Fagan yesterday said the club
expected Gunston, who has
kicked 44 goals this season, would
be back to face Collingwood in
Round 23 at the very latest.
Jack has had a full season
so we think he'll make a pretty
quick recovery and be on the go for
the finals, Fagan said.
Yo u n g r u c k / f o r w a r d
Jonathon Ceglar is in the frame to
replace Gunston after another
strong showing in the VFL last
weekend, while Isaac Smith (calf)

and Sam
Mitchell (ill) are
also expected to
return this week.
T
h
e
reigning premier
has been hard hit
by injuries to a
long list of key
players this
season including
Josh Gibson,
Cyril Rioli, Brian
Lake, Ben
Stratton, Brad
Sewell and Ben
McEvoy.
Rioli is
expected back
from another
hamstring
setback in three
to four weeks, while Lake will miss
only one more game with
suspension.
Defender Grant Birchall
yesterday said Lake was wellplaced from a fitness perspective
to make an immediate senior
comeback against Fremantle in
Round 21.
Our fitness coach Andrew
Russell has been punishing him
quite a bit on the track so I'm sure
he'll be nice and fit and ready to go

when he
comes back,
Birchall said.
Mentally
he's fine. Same
old Brian. He's
going well, he's
just really keen
to get out there
among it again
and play his
role for the
team.
Lake's
spot in the
backline has
been filled
admirably by
emerging
defender Angus
Litherland who
has been
rewarded with a two-year-contract
extension.
Litherland, from Western
Australia, was drafted by the
Hawks in 2010 but didn't make his
debut until Round 2 this year
playing 12 games, including the
last nine in a row.
I miss mum and my little
sister but apart from that, it's such
a good club and you don't want to
leave a club like this, he told the
club website.

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22

23

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Sports Corner

THURSDAY
Syd. Swans v Geelong @ 5.00pm
FRIDAY
St. Kilda v Collingwood @ 5.30pm
SATURDAY
Melbourne v Port Adelaide @ 11.30am
B. Lions v Carlton @ 2.30pm
Essendon v Richmond @ 5.30pm
SUNDAY
Adelaide v Gold Coast S. @ 1.00pm
W. Bulldogs v Fremantle @ 2.30pm
Hawthorn v GWS @ 2.30pm
West Coast v North Melb. @ 6.00pm

24

25

Kuta Weekly

Sports Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

D
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

L
4
4
4
5
6
8
8
8
8
9
10
10
12
12
12
14
14
14

F A Pts
2037 1444 56
1720 1239 56
1656 1457 56
1629 1239 52
1829 1405 48
1565 1432 40
1476 1371 40
1513 1439 40
1624 1633 40
1703 1602 36
1575 1455 32
1547 1501 32
1591 1737 24
1425 1722 24
1217 1739 24
1449 1976 16
1091 1499 16
1191 1948 16

ROUND 21
CLUB
1 Sea Eagles
2 Rabbitohs
3 Panthers
4 Roosters
5 Bulldogs
6 Storm
7 Cowboys
8 Warriors
9 Eels
10 Broncos
11 Dragons
12 Wests Tigers
13 Titans
14 knights
15 Raiders
16 Sharks

P
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19
19

W
14
12
12
11
11
11
10
10
10
9
9
9
8
6
5
5

B
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2

L
5
7
7
8
8
8
9
9
9
10
10
10
11
13
14
14

F
429
471
410
449
356
400
438
473
389
402
365
362
317
315
358
275

A
287
283
344
321
332
376
332
383
465
354
420
452
403
449
527
481

Pts
32
28
28
26
26
26
24
24
24
22
22
22
20
16
14
14

Referee's mistake almost gives Wayne Rooney

absurd goal against Liverpool
clearly gone out of play.
FOR a moment this morning,
Rooney couldn't believe it.
Manchester United forward
Liverpool's players were
Wayne Rooney thought he
stunned.
was the luckiest man on the
Thankfully, as replays
face of the planet.
showed the truth of the matter,
Rooney was the
one of the linesmen advised
temporary beneficiary of a
Geiger to reverse his decision.
shocking decision from referee
It didn't matter in the end,
Mark Geiger in the final of the
as
United
eventually won the
pre-season International
game 3-1. Still, it could have
Champions Cup against
been an extremely
Liverpool.
embarrassing moment for the
With United leading 2-1 in
The ball fell at Rooney's feet,
the 64th minute, a cross from and he casually slotted it past officials.
After the match, Rooney
winger Ashley Young sailed over goalkeeper Simon Mignolet.
Liverpool's crossbar and
Geiger initially awarded the was named the player of the
tournament.
rebounded off part of the frame.
goal, even though the ball had

26

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We have moved closer

to Padma street

Padma St.

CLUB
1 Sydney swans
2 Hawthorn
3 Geelong cats
4 Fremantle
5 Port adelaide
6 North Melbourne
7 Essendon
8 Adelaide Crows
9 Collingwood
10 Gold Coast S.
11 West Coast E.
12 Richmond
13 Carlton
14 W. Bulldogs
15 Brisbane Lions
16 GWS Giants
17 Melbourne
18 St. Kilda

Sports Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

PJS Shop

LADDER 2014
ROUND 18

Kuta Weekly

Kuta Beach Road

Jl. Legian Kelod No.420 Kuta, Bali

Hp. 08563737384 Office. 0361 847 1874

e-mail: pjs.sales@gmail.com

Drunk With 100 Chickens in the Car

A Nebraska man was
sentenced to 180 days
in jail for driving drunk
with a car full of
chickens, many of them
crushed to death.
Luis Motola-Placio,
36, was stopped by
Grand Island police in
January for driving with
his headlights off,
according to reports.
Motola-Placio was
visibly drunk, officers
said, and in the back of his car
he had a cage filled with 100
chickens. Many of the chickens
died while trapped in the
vehicle.
Only 58 of the 100
chickens were alive. The other
42 had been crushed under the
weight of chickens on top. None

of the birds were in cages.

The surviving 58 chickens
were taken to the Central
Nebraska Humane Society
after the early morning stop.
"Do I think the chickens
have been abused? Absolutely!
If you could see the pictures of
the width and depth that they
were kept in, they literally

crushed each
other because there
was no place to move
and at this time we don't
even know how long
they were in the
vehicle," said Laurie
Dethloff, the Executive
Director of the Central
Nebraska Humane
Society.
Motola-Placio
was convicted of drunk
driving and livestock
neglect. Along with the roughly
six-month jail sentence, he was
also fined $1,000 and will be
unable to drive for 15 years.
Prior to his DUI bust,
Motola-Placio served three
years in prison for shooting a
man in the leg while butchering
a pig in his garage.

27

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Sticking to your path when

friends and family don't
get it
If you'd asked me when I was 25 years old what
my life plan was, it was this: to marry my then
boyfriend, buy some land in my hometown of
Margaret River and a city apartment in Perth,
have babies, finish my masters, and work my
way up the corporate health ladder.

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

HARDEN UP !!
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If you'd told me that instead, I'd leave my executive

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impacts the wellness of thousands of peoples, and end up
living in Bali, Indonesia, I wouldn't have believed you.
But a series of life events encouraged me to take a
long hard look at my life and I found out that while I was on
my way to my plan, I wasn't happy. I was working and
commuting long hours, my relationships were failing, and
my mind was a hysterical mess.
Maybe you, too, got a glimpse that those societal
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But the problem is that their fear can rub off on you
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1. Commit to a daily spiritual practice like yoga,
You doubt whether you can make it doing what you love, meditation and simple rituals that tap into your 'why'.
where you love to be, and with whom you love.
Make time to connect inside as often as possible so
So, how do you stay off the beaten path and forge that you consistently hear your intuition, your heart and
your own way? Here are some tips I learned along the road
soul, and that voice becomes louder than the
naysaying voice of the outer world. Understanding your
'why' is the most powerful tool you can have to keep you
focused and motivated.
2. Build community of like-minded people.
Spend more time with people who get it, who are
forging their own freedom path as well. Begin to limit
your time with people who don't support your vision or
who move you away from your path and your why.
3. Stay strong. Stay fearless and faithful. Be a
badass god or goddess.
Know that you have a unique offering to share
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29

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

Living the Bali Dream

30

31

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Restaurant Watches Old Surveillance and Shares

Shock Results
We are a popular
restaurant for both locals
and tourists alike. Having
been in business for many
years, we noticed that
although the number
of customers we
serve on a daily basis
is almost the same
today as it was 10
years ago, the service
just seems super
slow even though we
added more staff and
cut back on the menu
items...
One of the most
common complaints on
review sites against us and many
restaurants in the area is that the
service was slow and/or they
needed to wait a bit long for a
table.
We decided to hire a firm to
help us solve this mystery, and
naturally the first thing they
blamed it on was that the
employees need more training
and that maybe the kitchen staff is
just not up to the task of serving
that many customers.
Like most restaurants in
NYC we have a surveillance
system, and unlike today where it's
a digital system, 10 years ago we
still used special high capacity
tapes to record all activity. At any
given time we had 4 special Sony
systems recording multiple
cameras. We would store the
footage for 90 days just in case we
needed it for something.
The firm we hired suggested
we locate some of the older tapes
and analyze how the staff behaved
10 years ago versus how they
behave now. We went down to our
storage room but we couldn't find
any tapes at all.

32

We did find the recording

devices, and luckily for us, each
device has 1 tape in it that we
simply never removed when we
upgraded to the new digital
system!

their tables so they can

respond quickly if the customer
needs something.
After guests are done, the
check delivered, and within 5
minutes they leave.
Average time from
start to finish: 1:05

2014:

The date stamp on the old

footage was Thursday July 1,
2004. The restaurant was very
busy that day. We loaded up the
footage on a large monitor, and
next to it on a separate monitor
loaded up the footage of Thursday
July 3 2014, with roughly the same
amount of customers as ten years
before.
I will quickly outline the
findings. We carefully looked at
over 45 transactions in order to
determine the data below:

2004:
Customers walk in.
They gets seated and are
given menus, out of 45 customers
3 request to be seated elsewhere.
Customers on average
spend 8 minutes before closing
the menu to show they are ready to
order.
Waiters shows up almost
instantly takes the order.
Appetizers are fired within 6
minutes, obviously the more
complex items take longer.
Out of 45 customers 2 sent
items back.
Waiters keep an eye out for

Customers walk in.

Customers get
seated and is given menus,
out of 45 customers 18
requested to be seated
elsewhere.
Before even opening
the menu they take their
phones out, some are
taking photos while others
are simply doing something
else on their phone (sorry
we have no clue what they are
doing and do not monitor customer
WIFI activity).
7 out of the 45 customers
had waiters come over right away,
they showed them something on
their phone and spent an average
of 5 minutes of the waiter's time.
Given this is recent footage, we
asked the waiters about this and
they explained those customers
had a problem connecting to the
WIFI and demanded the waiters
try to help them.
Finally the waiters are
walking over to the table to see
what the customers would like to
order. The majority have not even
opened the menu and ask the
waiter to wait a bit.
Customer opens the menu,
places their hands holding their
phones on top of it and continue
doing whatever on their phone.
Waiter returns to see if they
are ready to order or have any
questions. The customer asks for
more time.

Continue to next page

Kuta Weekly
Finally they are ready
to order.
Total average time from
when the customer was
seated until they placed their
order 21 minutes.
Food starts getting
delivered within 6 minutes,
obviously the more complex
items take way longer.
26 out of 45 customers
spend an average of 3 minutes
taking photos of the food.
14 out of 45 customers
take pictures of each other with
the food in front of them or as
they are eating the food. This
takes on average another 4
minutes as they must review and
sometimes retake the photo.
9 out of 45 customers sent
their food back to reheat.
Obviously if they didn't pause to
do whatever on their phone the
food wouldn't have gotten cold.

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

27 out of 45 customers
asked their waiter to take a group
photo. 14 of those requested the
waiter retake the photo as they
were not pleased with the first
photo. On average this entire
process between the chit
chatting and reviewing the photo
taken added another 5 minutes
and obviously caused the waiter
not to be able to take care of
other tables he/she was serving.
Given in most cases the
customers are constantly busy

News Corner
on their phones it took
an average of 20 minutes
more from when they were
done eating until they
requested a check.
Furthermore once the
check was delivered it took
15 minutes longer than 10
years ago for them to pay
and leave.
8 out of 45 customers
bumped into other
customers or in one case a waiter
(texting while walking) as they
were either walking in or out of
the Restaurant.
Average time from start to
finish: 1:55
We are grateful for
everyone who comes into our
restaurant, after all there are so
many choices out there. But can
you please be a bit more
considerate?

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33

Kuta Weekly

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Woman swings false leg at cabin crew

A Scotland-bound
flight has been
diverted to London,
after a drunk woman
allegedly attacked
cabin crew with her
false leg.
The 48-year-old started
swinging her prosthetic leg
after staff refused her
demands for cigarettes and
a parachute.
She was placed in
handcuffs while the pilot of
the flight from Tunisia made
an emergency landing.
Police escorted the
woman from the plane, while
relieved passengers
reportedly started singing the
Hokey Pokey.
Traveler John Smith

seat.
She then assaulted
the cabin crew with her
prosthetic leg. They took it
off her but she started
kicking them with her good
leg.
It sounds funny, but it
was not a laughing matter
at the time. It was serious.
She was totally drunk. It
was shocking.
Passengers said the
woman had been involved
in an argument at a resort
in Tunisia, which later
escalated on the airport
bus.
O n e p a s s e n g e r,
tweeted: Can't believe
we're stuck in London
because some crazy drunk
woman with one leg started
said the woman initially
slapped a young girl in a a bloody fight.

The

Kuta Weekly

Horoscopes
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7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014

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Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23

At one time, when we were small and the act of walking was a unique concept,
walking from one side of a room to another seemed an impressive feat. By
learning to use feet and grasping what can be achieved by placing one foot in
front of another, we made what appeared difficult if not impossible, possible. Now,
most of us wouldn't be concerned with having to walk miles, if we had to. We
simply apply the same principle to a greater distance. You could be forgiven for
looking at a task that requires diligence, perseverance and patience with
wariness and resentment. Just make some effort with as much passion as you
can muster and watch what falls into place.

'I told you so'. Such words rarely instill any sense of positivity in the person
they're being said to. If anything, the person saying the words often wants
acknowledgement or praise for being correct or astute but generally, they're
happy with no response from the person hearing them. They believe a point has
been made and taken on board. Bear that in mind this week when you feel
inclined to say such words. Someone close to you might well have made an
error of judgment or wished they'd heeded your advice but the best thing you
can be is quietly supportive.

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21

We know when we feel vulnerable. We are also often acutely aware of when we're
at risk of investing misplaced faith in someone, too. Is it a case of 'once bitten,
twice shy' where your involvement or arrangement with a certain person is
concerned? Is the past a guideline that should be considered fully before
embarking upon a new chapter with a particular person? There can be no doubt
valuable lessons have been learned recently but it is what you've learned that is
putting you in an advantageous position now. Don't be too quick to hold back
committing yourself in some way but do so in the knowledge that a process
deserves to be allowed to unfold slowly.

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22

When we want to learn something, or believe there's something we need to learn,
then we're willing to do what it takes to learn it. If it's important enough to us and
the need is unignorable, then we accept that we must embark upon a certain
learning process. Yet, we can be too quick sometimes to turn a blind eye to how
much we have learned through difficult processes without intending to. We ignore
how helpful experience and hindsight can be. This week brings a chance for you
to apply what you have learned recently through a difficult process. At the time,
you probably thought you'd gain nothing from it. Prepare to see how helpful your
experience can be..

Pub

Horoscope

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22

You don't need to make a grand gesture. You don't have to lecture someone
about something you were right about. Neither do you need to make a fuss and
reiterate where someone went wrong. Your astuteness is not being questioned
by a certain person and this week, try to be aware of how highly it and you are
regarded. You might have been able to see a situation unfolding in ways
someone else didn't but you'll gain much more respect and admiration from
watching quietly from the sidelines than you will by reminding someone of
where they went wrong.

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21

Are you still focused on the construction of a rod intended for use on your own
back? Someone might be doing a good job of convincing you that you ought to
be considering chastising yourself in some way but maybe they ought to be
looking more closely at some ridiculously high standards they seem intent upon
setting for themselves and you. Are you really obliged to placate someone to
the extent they believe you ought to? This week, you need only make effort to
placate one person in particular: yourself! This might not suit someone else but
time has come to be yourself and only yourself. Before long, you-know-who will
grow to accept this.

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20

When something is obvious to us that someone else is oblivious to, we often feel
compelled to highlight what we know or can see. We believe that, once this has
been done, someone else will have absorbed our teachings or encouragement
and that's the end of the story. When we find ourselves returning to an educating
scenario, we wonder why someone is being so inflexible or obtuse. 'Surely', we
say to ourselves, 'I'm pointing out the obvious'. Someone in your world needs reeducating about something you thought they had grasped the concept of. Be
patient. Be flexible. Be willing to understand why they're so keen to stick rigidly to
a particular point of view.

How much better could a particular situation be? You know the one I'm referring
to. It's the situation that has ticked along in a tired and predictable way but has,
thankfully, provided predictable results. You know where you stand with it. You
know how much better it could be if you were only able to muster more
excitement or willingness to improve it. This week brings a need to recognize
how you are obliged to improve that which you feel there is little room for
improvement within. Fortunately, you only need a little bit of room to make
something special and reassuring happen. Give something more credit for
being able to make you happier and you'll soon discover how it does have
potential to do precisely that.

Leo Jun 24 - Aug 23

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19

Sinead O'Connor sang many years ago about not wanting what she didn't have.
As far as she was concerned, she was content with all she had in her world. How
many of us can say that? We all have dreams and aspire to attain that which
motivates and inspires us. For as long as we possess some level of ambition,
there must always be room to attain what we yearn for. This week, the sky doesn't
speak necessarily about material gain but it does intend to remind you of how well
looked after and supported you are in terms of your heart feeling content. Expect
soon to see evidence of why you needn't focus so intently on what you don't have.

Where would some people be without you? You're such a reliable and trusted
individual who some clearly believe has all the answers and can provide
solutions at the drop of a hat. It's great to be seen in such ways but the sky
suggests there might be more than one person becoming a bit too comfortable
with how willing you are to step in and lend a hand. You're not being encouraged
to become selfish or unhelpful but there are one or two individuals who need to
learn to stand on their own two feet and coming days will at least help you to
identify who they are!

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20

Many film scriptwriters make no secret of the fact that many blockbusters'
storylines mirror those written by Shakespeare. Take 'Taming of the Shrew', set it
in a high school and film production companies know what to expect because the
storyline, character development and motivations are established, recognized
and understood. Sometimes, there is no need to be original or innovative. Some
people are happy liking what they know and knowing what they like. This week, as
tempted as you might be to be innovative or revolutionary in some way, relax and
consider the merits of what's been done before. What's tried and tested is likely to
be a much better option.

How willing are you to improvise? How aware are you of resources you do have
available that you feel or fear might be lacking or absent? Such are questions
the cosmos is posing to you now and, during the coming week, you're likely to
find yourself able to achieve much more than you believe simply by applying
imagination to a situation where you don't believe you have enough material
supply or sway within. Don't let a perceived lack of something stop you from
trying. You can make something special happen if you're willing to seize an
alternative option.

Jl. Raya Kampus Unud o. 107 (100 mtrs Behind Mc. D Jimbaran) ....... Ph.+62 812 - 3657 - 4871

The Ronnie Q's Pub | 32, Jalan Telawi Dua, Bangsar Baru, 59100 Kuala Lumpur | Tel: 603.2282.0722

34

35

TUNED IN
This Page Is Subject To Copyright

Kuta Weekly

TUNED IN

Music page

The following is a myth busting info page covering different songs

or bands each week chosen by one of our many loyal readers,
Please EnjoyPRODIGY...

The Prodigy are an English electronic music group formed by

Liam Howlett in 1990. The current members include Liam
Howlett (keyboardist and composer), Keith Flint (dancer and
vocalist), Leo Crabtree (drums), Rob Holliday (lead guitarist)
and Maxim (MC and vocalist). Leeroy Thornhill (dancer and
occasional live keyboardist) was a member of the band from
1990 to 2000,
as was a
f e m a l e
dancer and
vocalist
called Sharky
who left the
group during
their early
period.
Along with
the Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim and other acts, The
Prodigy have been credited as pioneers of the big beat genre,
which achieved mainstream popularity in the 1990s and
2000s. They have sold over 25 million records worldwide.
The group has won numerous music awards throughout their
career, including two Brit Awards winning Best British Dance
Act twice, three MTV Video Music Awards, two Kerrang!
Awards, five MTV Europe Music Awards, and have twice
been nominated for Grammy Awards.

After the release of the successful single "Charly", the charts

included various "hardcore" rave tracks that contained
cartoon samples, to which speed and ecstasy-fuelled
clubbers would dance, but which did not appeal to reviewers
from publications at the time. Examples were tracks such as
Urban Hype's "A Trip to Trumpton" and Smart E's (as in
Ecstasy) "Sesame's Treet", instigating death-by-publicity to
the underground "hardcore rave" scene, according to a
number of critics associated with the scene. As a result,
"Charly", amid being titled after a contemporary reference to
cocaine, with its memorable sample of the "Charley Says"
children's public information films, saw The Prodigy briefly
identified by critics as "kiddie rave" or "toytown techno".
Critical reception to the single was generally mixed.
The Fat of the Land and controversies (19962002)
The release of "Firestarter" in 1996, featuring vocals for the
first time courtesy of a new-look Keith Flint, helped the band
break into the U.S. and other overseas markets, and reached
number one on the UK Singles Chart. In this year The Prodigy
also headlined the prestigious Lollapalooza festival.
The long-awaited third Prodigy album, The Fat of the Land,
was released in 1997, just as the band headlined the
Glastonbury Festival on its opening night. Featuring simplified
melodies, sparser sampling, less rave music influences, and
punk-like vocals supplied by a shockingly madeover Flint, the
album nevertheless retained the bone-jarring breaks and
buzzsaw synths so idiomatic of the band. The album
cemented the band's position as one of the most
internationally successful acts in the dance genre, entering
the UK and US charts at number one.

Got a song request for the page??? Email: tunes@kutaweekly.com

tak
Bar & Grill

SPORTS COVERAGE
FREE WI-FI

ICED COLD BEER

HAPPY HOUR
Stakz Bar & Grill
came to Fruition from a Passion for Bali
Good Food and Great Lifestyle

D
VOTE2
201
BEST

Across

Down

1 Weepy (7)
5 Inexpensive (5)
8 Biblical measure (5)
9 Conundrums (7)
10 Eight-sided figure (7)
11 Strange and
disturbing (5)
12 Bloom, blossom (6)
14 Cosmetics (4-2)
18 Wait in line (5)
20 Exterior (7)
22 Accumulated (7)
23 Balm, ointment (5)
24 Curt, abrupt (5)
25 Meander (anag) (7)

1 Rebuke (4,3)
2 Head of a community of
monks (5)
3 Weariness (7)
4 Upper part of the windpipe (6)
5 Scrounge (5)
6 Make bigger (7)
7 Ski slope (5)
13 Out-of-doors (4-3)
15 Skilled worker (7)
16 Make believe (7)
17 Chillier (6)
18 Two pints (5)
19 Follow as a consequence
(5)
21 Muslim religion (5)

answers can ONLY be

found each week at Stakz
Poppies 2

The group's brand of music makes use of various styles

ranging from rave, hardcore techno, industrial, jungle and
break beat in the early 1990s to big beat and electronic rock
with punk vocal elements in later times. The Prodigy first
emerged on the underground rave scene in the early 1990s
and have since achieved popularity and worldwide renown.
1999 saw the release of The Prodigy's The Dirtchamber
Sessions Volume One, a DJ mix album by Howlett, produced
Liam Howlett created an initial 10-track demo, put together on as an official record of a successful guest appearance on the
a Roland W-30 music workstation in Essex, England. XL British Radio 1. In June of the same year, when the band had
Recordings picked up the demo after Howlett played several arguably reached their commercial peak, they parted
tracks to XL boss Nick Halkes in a meeting, and an initial 12" company with guitarist Gizz Butt.
pressing of "What Evil Lurks" was released in February 1991.
The Prodigy's name was chosen by Liam as a tribute to his Following 1999, Thornhill
first analogue synthesiser, the Moog Prodigy.
departed from the group
The Prodigy's first public performance, with Howlett while he divorced Sara Cox
augmented by dancers Keith Flint and Leeroy Thornhill, was due to the risk of nervous
at the Four Aces in Dalston, London, then home to "Club breakdown, resulting in the
Labyrinth".
band's website being
"Charly", released six months later, became a huge hit in the replaced with their logo and
rave scene at the time. The release reached number 3 in the the words "We will be
UK Singles Chart, catapulting the band into the wider public back..." set against a black
attention. The Kaos Theory compilation series featured "G background, which would
Force (Energy Flow)", from their third single, "Everybody in remain until 2002.
the Place".

36

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Welcome to the Kuta Weekly's

News Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Jl. Benesari

to Poppies 1

LEGIAN St.

Address: Jl. Benesari - Poppies Lane 2, Kuta - Bali web: www.stakzbarandgrill.com

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Kuta Weekly

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

News Corner

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Pregnant Blonde

Life Support

The other day my

neighbor, who is
blonde,
came running up to me
in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know
why she was jumping so excitedly
but I thought, "what the heck", and I starting
jumping up and down along with her. She
said, "I have some really great news!" I said,
"Great. Tell me why you're so happy."

A woman was in a coma. She had been in

it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a bed
bath. One of them was washing her
private area and noticed that there was a
slight response on the monitor whenever
she touched her there They tried it
again and sure enough, there was definite
movement.
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily
They went to her husband and explained
from all the jumping up and down, told me that
what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as
she was pregnant. I knew she'd been trying for
this
sounds, maybe a little 'oral sex' will do
a while so I told her, "That's great I couldn't be
the trick & bring her out of the coma'.
happier for you!"
The husband was skeptical, but they
assured him that they would close the
Then she said, "There's more" I asked, What
curtains for privacy. The husband finally
do you mean there's more. She said, "Well,
we are not having just one baby. We are going
agreed and went into his wife's room.
to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could
After a few minutes the woman's monitor
know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked
flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The
her how she knew. She said.... "Well, that
nurses run back into the room. 'What
was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they
happened!?' they cried.
actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWINThe
husband
said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she
pack. Both tests came out positive!"
choked..'

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7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Jokes Corner

Vouchers Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Nudist Colony
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.
On his first day there, he takes off his clothes
and starts to wander around. A gorgeous
petite blonde walks by, and the man
immediately gets an erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over
to him and says, 'Did you call for me?' The
man replies, 'No, what do you mean?' She
says, 'You must be new here. Let me
explain. It's a rule here that if you get an
erection, it implies you called for me.'
Smiling, she leads him to the side of the
swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly
pulls him to her and happily lets him have his
way with her.
The man continues to explore the colony's
facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he
sits down, he farts. Within minutes, a huge,
hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room
toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the
hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' says the
newcomer. 'You must be new,' says the hairy
man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that
you called for me.' The huge man easily
spins him around, bends him over a bench
and has his way with him.

The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years

old. I only get an erection
once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!'

40

tak

Moods & Emotions 3

***********
This asshole looked at my beer belly last
night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona
or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it
and find out."
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a
shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all
right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your
friends over there instead of you ya fat
bitch."
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability
to guess what day a woman was born just
by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she
began to lose patience and said, "Come on,
what day was I born?"
"Yesterday." I said . . . .
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the local
swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I
nearly fell in.
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat
chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do
you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have
collapsed by now fattso. "

Bar & Grill

Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid.
The remaining 13 letters spell an additional word.

0361-857 8880, 082339892012

ANGER
APPRECIATIVE
ARROGANT
BITTER
CALM
CHEERFUL
CONFIDENT
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EDGY
ENVIOUS
EXUBERANT
FEAR
FRANTIC
FRETFUL
GLAD
GLEEFUL
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GRIEF

Poppies 2

The newcomer staggers back to the colony

office, where he is greeted by
the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help
you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my
membership card. You can have the key
back and you can keep the 500
membership fee.' 'But, sir,' she replies,
'you've only been here for a few hours. You
haven't had the chance to see all our
facilities.

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms,

please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with
that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good
lookin'....."

GRUMPY
HAPPY
HOPE
INDIFFERENT
JEALOUS
JOLLY
JOYFUL
MOROSE
MOURNFUL
NERVOUS

OUTRAGE
PUZZLED
REGRET
SADNESS
SCARED
SCORNFUL
SORRY
SURPRISE
TRANQUIL
WORRY

Jl. Benesari

to Poppies 1

LEGIAN St.

41

KUTA WEEKLY
REAL ESTATE GUIDE

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

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For further details please email:
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information pack at Kuta Town Houses reception.
42

43

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Jalan Kampus Unud 23a, Unit C, Jimbaran Bali 80361. Tel: 0361 895 3633 or 0361 788 9803

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Jalan Kampus Unud 23a, Unit C, Jimbaran Bali 80361. Tel: 0361 895 3633 or 0361 788 9803
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7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

Kuta Town Houses

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Call Centre: +62 (0) 81 337 207 804, +62 (0) 361-7922288
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Kuta Weekly

Direct to

Property Corner

7 Aug - 13 Aug 2014 (399)

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48

Email:mattgilit@ozemail.com.au