Do I like teaching? To tell the truth, yes, I do.

I pretty much hate most of what goes

with it: departments and administrations and voting and meetings and
requirements and all that. But I like sitting around with people bullshitting about
interesting things, which I guess is my idea of what teaching really is, if it goes the
way it should.
One secret about liking it, I think, is that I don't try to bend anything to my will. I
guess this is kind of a Zen thing. I'd use another metaphor. I try to fnd out where
things are going and help them get there. I never try to impose my will because,
fundamentally, I guess I believe that people know what they want to do and it's not
up to me to tell them they're wrong, just to help them do it. If I think it's a dumb
thing to do I'll show them why I think that, why it won't get them where they want
to go, or tell them to go somewhere else where they could fnd what they're
looking for. So I never have the sense of things not going the way I want them to in
class, except when I forget all this sage talk and try to get them to do something
they don't want to do or, more likely, can't do without more help than I've given
them.
Zen, yes. It's the main thing, just go with it, fnd a handhold somewhere,
something you can work with, and see what you can get them to do for themselves.
It's the doing it themselves that's crucial, I think; they can listen to you all they
want (and all you want) and write it all down in their book, but they won't know
anything until they use it themselves. That's the only way the class works.
One thing about a class like this is that you get a buildup of esprit and morale, as
they realize they have actually done it and are doing it and can do it; it thrills them
and that's thrilling for the teacher. Then, too, if you lay back, for whatever reason,
they respond to that and fll the gap and that makes everything more lively. And,
as you said, having done it they can now talk in a knowledgeable way about the
choices and problems.
Howie,
Now that I'm well into this Zen-teaching business (and happily so, I'm not
complaining), I need a mantra. What to say to myself when I worry that I haven't
made all of these students happy. Or when I fnd out I haven't made any of them
happy (evaluations are next week). Something like, "I can't make you all into
researchers, much less happy. OMMM" Or "It's not my fault you didn't learn
anything and sociology is hard to learn. OMMM." I have the feeling those aren't the
Zen way. I really am looking for suggestions, though the answer is probably buried
somewhere in your previous advice to me.
I really appreciate that you do this teaching thing for a living, even if I am not so
enthralled with it myself And I'm not just kissing up now, since I have no real
motivation to do so.
Your comment on the slot being held for the one passive-aggressive type was great.
I even know who the second person is in the class who would have taken the slot
on a given day if it had not already been flled.
Two more sessions to go....
From Howard Becker 30-NOV-1995 Subj: RE: Need mantra
Dear Shirah:
Bernie Beck [who teaches sociology at Northwestern] had a nice solution to your
dilemma. He said that worrying about whether you were satisfying all the students
or teaching them all something useful or doing a good job for all of them or any
version of that was a version of the "White Man's Burden," which is to say it puts
all the responsibility on your shoulders. But it doesn't belong there. I always fgure
that I'll do my best, not try to persuade people who don't want to learn, for
whatever reason, what I could possibly teach them, help the ones who want to
learn something in whatever way I can, and be glad if anything comes of it at all. If
you're dissatisfed, it means you expected more than the situation could produce
for you, and the easy solution is to revamp your expectations, while thinking about
what could be changed to make it work better.
Does that help?
From Shirah Hecht 13-DEC-1995 Subj: Now this is fun
Howie,
Now this is fun. I'm hiding out in my "academic ofce space," having told my "real
job" that I needed time of to grade papers. Of course, eventually, I really do have to
grade those papers.... But frst to let of some steam. I just held the last session of
class and this is my "refection" paper on doing this class, to the one person who
most helped me get through it.
It was a tough road. I'm not convinced I did as good a job as I would have liked. I
know I made it harder on myself than it had to be. The biggest problem is that I
lack confdence, which makes it harder to lead well, no matter whether in a
Buddhist or more structured style. It makes it hard on me and hard on them, and I
don't know if I can do anything about that. You would think I would outgrow this,
but I'm now well into my thirties (and I won't tell you how many therapy
sessions....) and I see no sign of it abating. Not only is it not going away, I seem to
fnd more situations in which to let it show.
It's hard to feel I've read enough.
It's hard to feel I can let people go, do research, and think I can make a class based
on that.
You, Howie, are very hard to emulate. The most useful thing (well, one of the most
useful things) you ever said to me had something to do with: well, of course you
haven't read as much as I have; I'm a lot older than you are. No one told me that
before. But, wanting to be as good as I maybe can be with a lot more work, I am not
aware of what I have accomplished, if it's short of my ideal goal.
I have a specifc question. Do your students sometimes take your comments on
their work as criticism they don't want to hear and try to argue you out of it?
From Howard Becker 13-DEC-1995 Subj: RE: Now this is fun
Dear Shirah:
What a sweet, thoughtful letter. I really appreciate it. Don't forget that I got
something out of our exchanges too. It's why I like teaching too, you know; I learn
so much from students.
The thing about self-confdence is that the one thing you can't ignore is that you
actually did it this time and the foor didn't fall in, you didn't disgrace yourself,
most of the students got along OK, alright a few kvetches kvetched, but that's their
nature, etc. In other words, you did it and it worked. This proves (in math they call
this an existence proof) that it can happen, since it already did.
I don't remember students ever complaining about my criticism. But that's
probably because I almost never criticize. What I do instead, and it does work
much better, is tell them what others will say if they do this or that, and ask them
what they think they should do about that. And I am, of course, willing to listen to
the argument that they don't have to listen to those people (because, after all, there
are people I don't listen to or to whose criticisms I pay no attention).
I don't ever try to get things to be as good as possible, especially not in class,
because there is too much that isn't under my control. I do my best, but I set some
kind of limit beyond which that's it, enough already.
It actually sounds, for all your complaints, like the class went reasonably well.

REFERENCES
Becker, H. S. (1967). Whose side are we on? Social Problems, 14, 239-47.
Becker, H. 5. (1972). A school is a lousy place to learn anything in. American
Behavioral
Scientist, 16, 85-105.