Hermann Hesse

Strange News from Another Star

And Other Stories
Translated from the German by Denver Lindley
Penguin Books
ISBN 0!00!00
"eng#in $odern %lassi&s
The short stories in this book demonstrate the intriguing mystical qualities which make Hermann Hesse such a
rich and powerful writer.
Among others there is the tale of A#g#st#s' whom everybody loved on sight' b#t who only fo#nd ha((iness when he
was hated) of Han *oo+' who forsoo+ the world to learn all he &o#ld abo#t the (oet,s art) and of *ald#m' the &ity'
whose ann#al fair t#rned into a mira&le-
The a#thor,s delight in detail and his lyri&al a((re&iation of bea#ty ma+e this a &olle&tion to treas#re-
The &over shows a detail from ,Two $en Ga.ing at the $oon, by %as(ar David *riedri&h' in the Staatli&he
/#nstsamml#ngen' Dresden 0(hoto1 Gerhard 2einhold3
Hermann Hesse was born at %alw' Germany' on 4 5#ly 677- Having beg#n his &areer as a boo+seller in T#bingen and
Basle' he started to write and to (#blish (oetry at the age of twenty8one- *ive years later he en9oyed his first ma9or
s#&&ess with his novels on yo#th and ed#&ational (roblems1 first Peter Camenzind, then Unterm Rad (The Prodigy),
followed by Gertrude, Rosshalde, Demian, and others- Later' when as a (rotest against German militarism in the *irst
:orld :ar he settled (ermanently in Swit.erland' he established himself as one of the greatest literary fig#res of the
German8s(ea+ing world- His h#manity' his sear&hing (hiloso(hy develo(ed f#rther in s#&h novels as Der
Steppemwolf and arziss und Goldmund, while his (oems and &riti&al writings won him a leading (la&e among
&ontem(orary thin+ers- The Na.is abhorred and s#((ressed his boo+s) the Swiss hono#red him by &onferring on him
the degree of "h-D-) the world (aid homage to him' finally' by bestowing #(on him in ;!< the Nobel "ri.e for
literat#re' an award ri&hly deserved by his great novel Das Glasperlenspiel (The Glass !ead Game)" Hermann Hesse
died in ;<4' shortly after his eighty8fifth birthday-
%ontents
A#g#st#s 7
The "oet =0
*l#te Dream =6
Strange News from Another Star !<
The Hard "assage <!
A Dream Se>#en&e 7
*ald#m 6!
Iris 0!
A#g#st#s
A yo#ng woman living in $osta&+erstrasse had lost her h#sband thro#gh an a&&ident shortly after their
marriage' and she now sat (oor and abandoned in her little room' waiting for the &hild who was
destined to be fatherless- And be&a#se she was so #tterly alone' her tho#ghts dwelt &onstantly on the
e?(e&ted &hild' and there was nothing bea#tif#l and s(lendid and enviable that she did not (lan and
wish and dream for the little one- A stone ho#se with (late8glass windows and a fo#ntain in the garden
seemed to her 9#st barely good eno#gh for him' and as for his &areer' he had to be&ome at least a
(rofessor or a +ing-
Ne?t door to (oor *ra# @lisabeth lived an old man' a little grey fellow who seldom wal+ed abroad and'
when he did so' wore a tasselled &a( and &arried an old8fashioned green #mbrella with whalebone ribs-
%hildren were afraid of him and grown#(s said to one another that he (robably had good reason to live
in so retired a fashion- Often he wo#ld not be seen by anyone for a long time' b#t sometimes in the
evening a deli&ate m#si&' as tho#gh from a great n#mber of tiny' fragile instr#ments' wo#ld drift o#t of
his dila(idated little ho#se- Then the &hildren (assing by wo#ld as+ their mothers whether angels were
singing inside' or (erha(s fairies' b#t their mothers +new nothing abo#t s#&h things and wo#ld say1 ,No'
no' that m#st be a m#si& bo?-,
This little man' who was +nown to his neighbo#rs as Herr Binsswanger' had an odd +ind of friendshi(
with *ra# @lisabeth- As a matter of fa&t' they never s(o+e to ea&h other' b#t little old Herr Binsswanger
bowed in the most friendly fashion every time he went (ast her window' and she nodded gratef#lly in
ret#rn and li+ed him' and both tho#ght1 If things sho#ld sometimes go very ill with me' then I shall
&ertainly go for hel( to my neighbo#r,s ho#se- And when it began to grow dar+ and *ra# @lisabeth sat
alone at her window and sorrowed for her dead beloved or tho#ght abo#t her little &hild and fell to
dreaming' then Herr Binsswanger wo#ld gently o(en his &asement window and o#t of his dar+ room
flowed &omforting m#si&' soft and silvery li+e moonlight thro#gh a rift in the &lo#ds- *or her (art' *ra#
@lisabeth tended several old gerani#m (lants growing at his ba&+ window) he always forgot to water
them b#t they were always green and f#ll of blossoms and never showed a wilted leaf be&a#se *ra#
@lisabeth too+ &are of them very early every morning-
And now one raw and windy evening when it was getting on towards a#t#mn and no one was abroad in
$osta&+erstrasse' the (oor woman reali.ed that her ho#r had &ome and she was frightened be&a#se she
was entirely alone- B#t as night fell' an old woman &ame on foot with a lantern in her hand) she entered
the ho#se and boiled water and laid o#t linens and did everything that is needf#l when a &hild is abo#t
to &ome into the world- *ra# @lisabeth allowed herself to be loo+ed after in silen&e' and only when the
baby was there' wra((ed in fine new swaddling &lothes' and had beg#n his first slee( on earth' did she
as+ the old woman when&e she had &ome-
,Herr Binsswanger sent me', said the woman' where#(on the weary mother fell aslee() and when she
awo+e in the morning' mil+ had been boiled and stood ready for her' everything in the room had been
neatly arranged' and beside her lay her little son' s&reaming be&a#se he was h#ngry) b#t the old woman
was gone- *ra# @lisabeth too+ the baby to her breast and re9oi&ed that he was so (retty and so strong-
She tho#ght of his dead father who had not lived to see him' and tears &ame to her eyes-
B#t she h#gged the little or(han &hild and smiled on&e more' then fell aslee( again with the little one-
:hen she wo+e #(' there was more mil+' a so#( had been &oo+ed' and the &hild was wra((ed in &lean
linens-
Soon the mother was healthy and strong again and &o#ld loo+ after herself and little A#g#st#s- She
reali.ed then that her son m#st be &hristened and that she had no godfather for him- And so towards
evening' when twilight had &ome and the sweet m#si& was on&e more (o#ring o#t of the little ho#se
ne?t door' she went over to Herr Binsswanger,s- She +no&+ed timidly and was greeted by a &ordial &ry1
,%ome inA, The m#si& s#ddenly &eased' and in the room there was a little old table with a lam( and a
boo+ on it' and everything was as normal as &o#ld be-
,I have &ome to than+ yo#', said *ra# @lisabeth' ,be&a#se yo# sent me that good woman- I wish to (ay
her too' as soon as I &an wor+ again and earn some money- B#t now I have another worry- The little
boy m#st be &hristened and is to be named A#g#st#s after his father- B#t I +now no one and I have no
godfather for him-,
,Bes' I have tho#ght abo#t that too', said her neighbo#r' stro+ing his grey beard- ,It wo#ld be a good
thing if he were to have a +ind' ri&h godfather who &o#ld loo+ after him if things sho#ld ever go badly
for yo#- B#t I too am lonesome and old and have few friends and so I &annot re&ommend anyone to
yo#' e?&e(t (erha(s myself' if yo# wo#ld a&&e(t me-,
This made the (oor mother ha((y' and she than+ed the little man and enth#siasti&ally agreed- The ne?t
S#nday they &arried the baby to the &h#r&h and had him ba(ti.ed' and the same old woman a((eared
there too and gave the &hild a taler- :hen *ra# @lisabeth did not want to a&&e(t it' the old woman said1
,No' ta+e it- I am old and have what I need- "erha(s the taler will bring him l#&+- I was glad for on&e to
do a favo#r for Herr Binsswanger- :e are old friends-,
They went ba&+ to *ra# @lisabeth,s room together and she made &offee for her g#ests- Herr
Binsswanger had bro#ght a &a+e' so it t#rned into a real ba(tismal feast- After they had finished eating
and drin+ing and the infant had long sin&e fallen aslee(' the old man said diffidently1 ,Now that I am
little A#g#st#s,s godfather' I wo#ld li+e to (resent him with a +ing,s (ala&e and a sa&+f#l of gold (ie&es'
b#t those are things I do not have- I &an only add another taler to the one from o#r neighbo#r- However'
what I &an do for him shall be done- *ra# @lisabeth' yo# have &ertainly wished yo#r little boy all sorts
of fine and bea#tif#l things- Now thin+ &aref#lly what seems to yo# to be the best wish for him' and I
will see to it that it &omes tr#e- Bo# have one wish for yo#r yo#ngster' whatever one yo# li+e' b#t only
one- %onsider well' and this evening when yo# hear my little m#si& bo? (laying' yo# m#st whis(er
yo#r wish into yo#r little one,s left ear' then it will be f#lfilled-,
There#(on he hastily too+ his de(art#re and the neighbo#r woman went away with him' leaving *ra#
@lisabeth d#mbfo#nded' and if the talers had not been there in the &rib and the &a+e on the table' she
wo#ld have tho#ght it all a dream- She sat down beside the &radle and ro&+ed her &hild while she
meditated and &onsidered many bea#tif#l wishes- At first she (lanned to ma+e him ri&h' then
handsome' then tremendo#sly strong' then shrewd and &lever' b#t at ea&h &hoi&e she felt some
hesitation' and finally she &on&l#ded that all this was really only the little old man,s 9o+e-
It had already grown dar+ and she had almost fallen aslee( sitting beside the &radle' for she was weary
from (laying hostess' from her tro#bles and from thin+ing of so many wishes' when s#ddenly there
drifted over from ne?t door a faint' s#btle m#si&' more bea#tif#l and deli&ate than had ever been heard
from a m#si& bo?- At the so#nd *ra# @lisabeth gave a start and remembered' and now she on&e more
believed in her neighbo#r Binsswanger and his gift as godfather' b#t the more she refle&ted and the
more she wanted to ma+e a wish' the more &onf#sed her mind be&ame' so that she &o#ld not de&ide
#(on anything- She was greatly distressed and had tears in her eyes' then the m#si& so#nded softer and
fainter' and she +new that if she did not ma+e a wish that very instant' it wo#ld be too late-
She sighed alo#d and bent over her boy and whis(ered in his left ear1 ,$y little son' I wish for yo# 8 I
wish for yo# 8, and as the bea#tif#l m#si& be&ame fainter and fainter' she was frightened and said
>#i&+ly1, 8 I wish for yo# that everyone will love yo#-,
The strains had now &om(letely died away and it was deathly still in the dar+ room- She bent over the
&radle and we(t and was filled with an?iety and fear' and she &ried1 ,Oh' now that I have wished for yo#
the best thing I +new' (erha(s it was not the right thing- And if everyone' every single (erson' loves
yo#' still no one will ever love yo# as m#&h as yo#r mother does-,
A#g#st#s grew #( to be a (retty blond boy with bright' mettlesome eyes whom his mother s(oiled and
who was well li+ed by everyone- *ra# @lisabeth >#i&+ly reali.ed that her &hristening8day wish for her
&hild was &oming tr#e' for the little one was hardly old eno#gh to wal+ on the streets when everyone he
met fo#nd him so (retty and (ert and &lever that they (atted his hand and o(enly admired him- Bo#ng
mothers smiled at him' old women gave him a((les' and if at any time he was na#ghty' no one believed
that he &o#ld have done wrong) or if it was obvio#s that he had' (eo(le shr#gged their sho#lders and
said1 ,Bo# really &an,t hold anything against that dear little fellow-,
"eo(le who had noti&ed the handsome boy &ame to see his mother' and she who had on&e been so alone
and had had very little sewing wor+ to do' now as the mother of A#g#st#s had more (atrons than she
&o#ld ever have wished- Things went well with her and with the yo#ngster too' and whenever they
went o#t wal+ing together' the neighbo#rs smiled and bowed to them and t#rned to loo+ after the l#&+y
boy-
:hat was best of all ha((ened to A#g#st#s ne?t door at his godfather,s- Herr Binsswanger wo#ld
sometimes &all him over to his ho#se in the evening when it was dar+ and the only light in the room
was the little red fire b#rning in the bla&+ hollow of the fire(la&e- The old man wo#ld draw the &hild
down beside him on a f#r r#g on the floor and wo#ld tell him long stories as they both stared at the
>#iet flames- O&&asionally' when a long story was at an end and the little boy had grown very slee(y
staring with half8o(en eyes at the fire in the dar+ silen&e' then o#t of the dar+ness flowed sweet
(oly(honi& m#si&' and when the two had listened to it for a long time in silen&e' it often ha((ened that
the whole room was s#ddenly filled with tiny s(ar+ling &her#bs who flew in &ir&les on bright golden
wings' dan&ing elaborately abo#t one another in (airs and singing at the same time- The whole room
reso#nded in a h#ndredfold harmony of 9oy and serene bea#ty- It was the loveliest thing A#g#st#s had
ever e?(erien&ed' and when later on he tho#ght of his &hildhood' it was the dar+' >#iet room of his old
godfather and the red flames in the fire(la&e and the m#si& and the festive' golden' magi& flight of the
angeli& beings that filled his memory and made him homesi&+-
As the boy grew older' there were times when his mother was sad and felt &om(elled to thin+ ba&+ to
that ba(tismal night- A#g#st#s ran merrily abo#t in the nearby streets and was wel&ome everywhere-
"eo(le gave him n#ts and (ears' &oo+ies and toys' all +inds of good things to eat and drin+' set him on
their +nees' let him (i&+ flowers in their gardens' and often he did not get home #ntil late in the evening
and wo#ld angrily (#sh aside his mother,s so#(- If she then was #nha((y and we(t' he wo#ld loo+
bored and go s#llenly to his &ot- If she s&olded or (#nished him' he s&reamed and lo#dly &om(lained
that everyone e?&e(t his mother was ni&e and +ind to him- She was often serio#sly angry at her son at
these tro#bled times' b#t later' as he lay slee(ing among his (illows and the light of her &andle
shimmered in his inno&ent' &hildish fa&e' then all harshness left her heart' and she wo#ld +iss him
&a#tio#sly so as not to awa+en him- It was her fa#lt that everyone loved A#g#st#s' and sometimes she
tho#ght with sorrow and almost with dread that (erha(s it wo#ld have been better had she never made
that wish-
On&e she ha((ened to be standing beside Herr Binsswanger,s gerani#m window' &#tting the withered
leaves from the (lants with a small (air of shears' when she heard the voi&e of her son in the &o#rtyard
that lay behind the two ho#ses' and t#rned aro#nd to loo+ for him- He was leaning against the wall with
a disdainf#l loo+ on his (retty fa&e' and in front of him stood a girl taller than he was' saying &oa?ingly1
,%ome now' yo#,ll be ni&e' won,t yo#' and give me a +issC,
,I don,t want to', A#g#st#s said' (#tting his hands in his (o&+ets-
,Oh' (lease do', she said again- ,I,ll give yo# something ni&e-,
,:hat will yo# give meC, the boy as+ed-
,I have two a((les', she said timidly-
,I don,t want any a((les', he said &ontem(t#o#sly and started to leave-
B#t the girl &a#ght hold of his arm and said &a9olingly1 ,:ait' I have a bea#tif#l ring too-,
,Let,s see itA, A#g#st#s said-
She showed him her ring' and he loo+ed at it &aref#lly' then too+ it off her finger and (#t it on his own'
held it #( to the light and nodded a((rovingly-
,All right then' yo# &an have a +iss', he said &arelessly' and gave the girl a hasty (e&+ on the mo#th-
,Bo#,ll &ome and (lay with me now' won,t yo#C, she said &onfidently' ta+ing his arm-
B#t he (#shed her aside and sho#ted r#dely1 ,Leave me in (ea&e' &an,t yo#C I have others to (lay with-,
The girl began to &ry and stole o#t of the &o#rtyard- He loo+ed after her with a bored and e?as(erated
e?(ression' then he t#rned the ring aro#nd on his finger and e?amined it- He began to whistle and
wal+ed slowly away-
His mother stood still with her gardening shears in her hand' sho&+ed at the harshness and &ontem(t
with whi&h her &hild had treated another,s love- She t#rned away from the flowers and shoo+ her head
and said over and over to herself1 ,:hy' he,s bad' he has no heart at all-,
:hen A#g#st#s &ame home a short time later' she too+ him to tas+' b#t he loo+ed at her la#ghingly
with his bl#e eyes and showed no sign of g#ilt- Then he began to sing and he was so affe&tionate with
her' so f#nny and &harming and tender' that she had to la#gh' and she de&ided that with &hildren one
need not ne&essarily ta+e everything so serio#sly-
B#t the yo#ngster did not entirely es&a(e (#nishment for his misdeeds- His godfather Binsswanger was
the only one for whom A#g#st#s felt any regard' and in the evening when he went to see him his
godfather wo#ld say1 ,Today no fire is b#rning on the hearth and there is no m#si&' the little angel
&hildren are sad be&a#se yo# were so bad-, The boy wo#ld go home in silen&e and throw himself on his
bed and wee(' and for many days afterwards he wo#ld try hard to be good and +ind-
Nevertheless' the fire on the hearth b#rned less and less often' nor &o#ld his godfather be bribed with
tears or &aresses- By the time A#g#st#s was twelve years old' the en&hanting' angeli& flight in his
godfather,s room had already be&ome a distant dream' and if by &han&e he did a&t#ally dream abo#t it
in the night' then on the following day he wo#ld be do#bly wild and boistero#s and order his many
friends abo#t with the r#thlessness of a field marshal-
His mother had long sin&e grown tired of hearing from everyone how fine and &harming her boy was)
she had' in fa&t' nothing b#t tro#ble with him- And when one day his tea&her &ame to her and said he
+new of someone willing to enter her son in a distant s&hool' she went ne?t door and had a tal+ with her
neighbo#r- Soon thereafter on a s(ring morning a &arriage drew #( and A#g#st#s in a fine new s#it got
in and said farewell to his mother and his godfather and all the neighbo#rs be&a#se he was to travel to
the &a(ital and st#dy there- His mother had neatly (arted his blond hair for the last time' had given him
her blessing' and now the horses moved off and A#g#st#s rode away into the great world-
$any years later when A#g#st#s was a &ollege st#dent and wore a red &a( and a mo#sta&he' he
travelled ba&+ on&e more by &arriage to his home town be&a#se his godfather had written that his
mother was very ill and &o#ld not live long- The yo#th arrived in the evening' and (eo(le were ama.ed
to see him get o#t of the &arriage followed by the &oa&hman' who &arried a big leather tr#n+ into the
ho#se- *ra# @lisabeth lay dying in the old low8&eilinged room' and when the handsome st#dent saw her
loo+ing white and withered on the white (illows' only able to greet him with her >#iet eyes' he san+
down wee(ing by the bed) and he +issed his mother,s &hill hands and +nelt beside her the whole night
thro#gh' #ntil the hands had grown &old and the eyes lifeless-
And when his mother had been b#ried' his godfather Binsswanger too+ him by the arm and led him
into his little ho#se' whi&h seemed to the yo#ng man even shabbier and dar+er than before' and when
they had sat together for a long time and only the small window shimmered feebly in the dar+ness' then
the little old man stro+ed his grey beard with his thin fingers and said to A#g#st#s1 ,I will ma+e a fire
on the hearth' then we won,t need the lam(- I +now yo# m#st leave tomorrow' and now that yo#r
mother is dead' yo# won,t be ba&+ again very soon-,
So saying' he +indled a small fire on the hearth' (#lled his &hair near it' and arranged A#g#st#s,s &hair
&lose to his own- They sat th#s together for another long while' loo+ing into the glowing &oals' #ntil the
flying s(ar+s had grown s(arse' and then the old man said softly1 ,*arewell' A#g#st#s' I wish yo# well-
Bo# had a fine mother who did more for yo# than yo# +now- I wo#ld gladly have made m#si& for yo#
again and shown yo# the small blessed ones' b#t yo# +now that isn,t (ossible any more- B#t yo# m#st
not forget them and yo# m#st remember that they always &ontin#e to sing and that (erha(s yo# will be
able to hear them on&e more if a time &omes when yo# desire it with a lonely and longing heart- Now
give me yo#r hand' my boy' I am old and m#st go to bed-,
A#g#st#s shoo+ hands with him b#t &o#ld not s(ea+- He went sadly over to the deserted little ho#se
and for the last time lay down to slee( in his old home' b#t before falling aslee( he tho#ght he heard
again' very far off and faint' the sweet m#si& of his &hildhood- Ne?t morning he left' and for a long
time nothing was heard of him in his home town-
Soon' too' he forgot his Godfather Binsswanger and the angels- He lived a life of l#?#ry and revelled in
it- No one &o#ld e>#al his style as he rode thro#gh the streets waving to adoring girls and teasing them
with se&ret glan&es' no one &o#ld drive a fo#r8in8hand with s#&h gaiety and elegan&e' no one was as
boistero#s and boastf#l thro#gh a s#mmer night,s drin+ing bo#t in the garden- The ri&h widow whose
lover he was gave him money and &lothes and horses and everything he needed or wanted' he travelled
with her to "aris and to 2ome and sle(t in her sil+en sheets- His beloved' however' was the soft' blonde
da#ghter of a b#rgher) he met her re&+lessly in her father,s garden' and she wrote him long' ardent
letters when he was abroad-
B#t the time &ame when he did not ret#rn- He had fo#nd friends in "aris' and be&a#se his ri&h mistress
had beg#n to bore him and st#dy had long sin&e be&ome a n#isan&e' he stayed abroad and lived the life
of high so&iety- He +e(t horses' dogs' women' lost money and won money in great golden rolls' and
everywhere (eo(le (#rs#ed him' were &a(tivated by him and served him' and he smiled and a&&e(ted it
all' 9#st as he had a&&e(ted the yo#ng girl,s ring long before- The magi& of his mother,s wish lay in his
eyes and on his li(s' women smothered him with tenderness' friends raved abo#t him' and no one saw
D he s&ar&ely noti&ed it himself 8 that his heart had grown em(ty and greedy and that his so#l was si&+
and f#ll of (ain- At times he grew tired of being loved so by everyone and went alone in disg#ise to
foreign &ities' b#t everywhere he fo#nd (eo(le fat#o#s and all too easy to &on>#er' everywhere he
s&orned the love that followed him so ardently and was &ontent with so little- He often felt disg#st for
men and women be&a#se they did not have more (ride' and he s(ent whole days alone with his dogs in
the bea#tif#l h#nting (reserves in the mo#ntains) a stag stal+ed and shot made him ha((ier than the
&on>#est of a bea#tif#l s(oiled woman-
Then in the &o#rse of a sea voyage he &han&ed to meet the yo#ng wife of an ambassador' a reserved'
slender lady of the northern nobility who stood o#t with mar+ed distin&tion among the many
fashionable women and worldly men- She was (ro#d and >#iet' as tho#gh no one was her e>#al' and
when he wat&hed her and saw that her glan&e seemed to br#sh (ast him too' hastily and indifferently' it
seemed to him as tho#gh he were e?(erien&ing for the very first time what love is' and he determined to
win her heart- *rom then on' at every ho#r of the day' he stayed &lose to her and in her sight' and
be&a#se he himself was always s#rro#nded by (eo(le who admired him and so#ght his so&iety' he and
the bea#tif#l' #nmoved lady were always at the &entre of the &om(any of travellers' li+e a (rin&e with
his (rin&ess) even the blonde,s h#sband treated him with deferen&e and too+ (ains to (lease him-
It was never (ossible for him to be alone with the lovely stranger #ntil in a so#thern (ort the whole
(arty of travellers left the shi( in order to s(end a few ho#rs wandering aro#nd in the foreign &ity and
feeling earth #nder their feet again- He did not move from his beloved,s side and (resently' in the
&olo#rf#l &onf#sion of a mar+et8(la&e' he s#&&eeded in detaining her in &onversation- Inn#merable little
dar+ alleys entered this s>#are' into one of whi&h he led her) she a&&om(anied him tr#stf#lly' b#t when
she s#ddenly fo#nd herself alone with him she be&ame nervo#s and loo+ed all aro#nd for their
travelling &om(anions- He t#rned to her (assionately' too+ her rel#&tant hand in his' and beso#ght her
to leave the shi( with him and flee-
The yo#ng woman grew (ale and +e(t her eyes fi?ed on the gro#nd- ,Oh' that is not &hivalro#s', she
said softly- ,Allow me to forget what yo# have 9#st said-,
,I am no +night', &ried A#g#st#s- ,I am a lover' and a lover +nows nothing e?&e(t his beloved and has no
tho#ght e?&e(t to be with her- O fair lady' flee with me' we will be ha((y-,
She loo+ed at him solemnly and re(roa&hf#lly with her &lear bl#e eyes- ,How &o#ld yo# +now', she
whis(ered sadly' ,that I loved yo#C I &annot deny it) I love yo# and I have often wished that yo# might
be my h#sband- *or yo# are the first I have ever loved with all my heart- Alas' how &an love go so far
astrayA I wo#ld never have tho#ght it (ossible for me to love a man who is not (#re and good- B#t I
(refer a tho#sand times to stay with my h#sband' whom I do not greatly love b#t who is a +night f#ll of
hono#r and &hivalry' >#alities that are foreign to yo#- And now do not say another word' b#t ta+e me
ba&+ to the shi() otherwise' I will &all o#t to strangers to (rote&t me against yo#r insolen&e-,
And no matter how m#&h he stormed and (leaded with her' she t#rned away from him and wo#ld have
wal+ed on alone if he had not silently gone after her and a&&om(anied her to the shi(- There he had his
tr#n+ ta+en ashore witho#t saying goodbye to anyone-
*rom then on' the l#&+ of this m#&h8loved man &hanged- Eirt#e and hono#r had be&ome hatef#l to him'
he trod them #nderfoot and diverted himself by sed#&ing virt#o#s women thro#gh his magi&al wiles
and e?(loiting #ns#s(e&ting men whom he >#i&+ly made his friends and then &ontem(t#o#sly &ast off-
He red#&ed women and girls to (overty and forthwith disowned them' he so#ght o#t yo#ths from noble
ho#ses whom he sed#&ed and &orr#(ted- There was no (leas#re that he did not ind#lge in and e?ha#st'
no vi&e that he did not &#ltivate and then dis&ard- B#t there was no longer any 9oy in his heart' and to
the love that greeted him everywhere no e&ho res(onded in his so#l-
S#llen and morose' he lived in a magnifi&ent &o#ntry ho#se on the sea&oast' and the men and women
who visited him there he tormented with the wildest whims and s(itef#lness- He too+ delight in
degrading (eo(le and treating them with &om(lete &ontem(t) he was satiated and disg#sted with the
#nso#ght' #nwanted' #ndeserved love that s#rro#nded him' he felt the worthlessness of a s>#andered
and disordered life in whi&h he had never given b#t always sim(ly ta+en- Sometimes he went h#ngry
for a long time 9#st to be able to feel a real a((etite again' to satisfy a desire-
The news s(read among his friends that he was ill and needed (ea&e and solit#de- Letters &ame b#t he
never read them' and worried (eo(le in>#ired of his servants abo#t his state of health- B#t he sat alone
and dee(ly tro#bled in his hall above the sea' his life lay em(ty and desolate behind him' as barren and
devoid of love as the billowing grey salt sea- His fa&e was hideo#s as he h#ddled there in his &hair at
the high window' holding an a&&o#nting with himself- :hite g#lls swe(t by on the &oast wind' he
followed them with eyes em(ty of all 9oy and sym(athy- As he rea&hed the &on&l#sion of his
meditations and s#mmoned his valet' only his li(s moved in a harsh and evil smile- He ordered that all
his friends be invited to a feast on a given day' b#t his intention was to terrify and mo&+ them on their
arrival with the sight of an em(ty ho#se and his own &or(se- *or he was determined to end his life by
(oison-
On the evening before the a((ointed feast he sent his whole staff of servants from the ho#se' and the
great rooms fell &om(letely silent- He withdrew to his bed&hamber' where he mi?ed a (owerf#l (oison
in a glass of %y(r#s wine and raised it to his li(s-
B#t 9#st as he was abo#t to drin+' there was a +no&+ing at the door' and when he did not re(ly' the door
o(ened and a little old man entered- He went straight #( to A#g#st#s and &aref#lly too+ the f#ll glass
o#t of his hands' and a familiar voi&e said1 ,Good evening' A#g#st#s' how are things going with yo#C,
Asto#nded' angered' b#t also ashamed' A#g#st#s smiled mo&+ingly and said1 ,Herr Binsswanger' are
yo# still aliveC It has been a long time' and yo# a&t#ally do not seem to have grown any older- B#t at
the moment yo# are dist#rbing me' my dear fellow- I am tired and was 9#st abo#t to ta+e a slee(ing
(otion-,
,So I see', his godfather re(lied &almly- ,Bo# are going to ta+e a slee(ing (otion and yo# are right' this is
the last wine that &an still hel( yo#- B#t before that we,ll &hat for a min#te' my boy' and sin&e I have a
long 9o#rney behind me' yo# won,t mind if I refresh myself with a small drin+-,
:here#(on he too+ the glass and raised it to his li(s and' before A#g#st#s &o#ld restrain him' tilted it
#( and drained it at a single g#l(-
A#g#st#s be&ame deathly (ale- He s(rang towards his godfather' shoo+ him by the sho#lders' and &ried
shar(ly1 ,Old man' do yo# +now what yo# have 9#st dr#n+C,
Herr Binsswanger nodded his &lever grey head and smiled- ,It,s %y(r#s wine' I see' and it,s not bad- Bo#
don,t seem to be in want- B#t I haven,t m#&h time and I won,t detain yo# for long if yo# will 9#st listen
to me-,
Dis&on&erted' A#g#st#s stared into his godfather,s bright eyes with horror' e?(e&ting to see him
&olla(se at any instant-
B#t Herr Binsswanger sim(ly sat down &omfortably on a &hair and nodded benignly at his yo#ng
friend-
,Are yo# worried for fear this drin+ of wine will h#rt meC Now 9#st rela?- It,s ni&e of yo# to be worried
abo#t me- I wo#ld never have e?(e&ted it- B#t now let,s tal+ again as we #sed to in the old days- It
seems to me that yo# have be&ome satiated with a life of frivolityC I &an #nderstand that' and when I
leave' yo# &an refill yo#r glass and drin+ it down- B#t before that I m#st tell yo# something-,
A#g#st#s leaned against the wall and listened to the little old man,s good' +ind voi&e' a voi&e so
familiar to him from &hildhood that it awo+e e&hoes of the (ast in his so#l- Dee( shame and sorrow
over&ame him as he loo+ed ba&+ at his own inno&ent yo#th-
,I have dr#n+ yo#r (oison', the old man went on' ,be&a#se I am the one who is res(onsible for yo#r
misery- At yo#r &hristening yo#r mother made a wish for yo# and I f#lfilled it for her' even tho#gh it
was a foolish wish- There is no need for yo# to be told what it was) it has be&ome a &#rse' as yo#
yo#rself have reali.ed- I am sorry it t#rned o#t this way' and it wo#ld &ertainly ma+e me ha((y if I
&o#ld live to see yo# sitting beside me on&e more' at home in front of the hearth' listening to the little
angels singing- That is not easy' and at the moment (erha(s it seems to yo# im(ossible that yo#r heart
&o#ld ever again be healthy and (#re and &heerf#l- B#t it is (ossible' and I want to beg yo# to attem(t
it- Bo#r (oor mother,s wish did not s#it yo# well' A#g#st#s- How wo#ld it be now if yo# allowed me to
f#lfil a wish for yo# too' any wishC Eery li+ely yo# will not want money or (ossessions or (ower or the
love of women' of whi&h yo# have had eno#gh- Thin+ &aref#lly' and if yo# believe yo# +now a magi&
s(ell that &o#ld ma+e yo#r wasted life fairer and better' that &o#ld ma+e yo# ha((y on&e more' then
wish it for yo#rself-,
A#g#st#s sat dee( in tho#ght and was silent' b#t he was too e?ha#sted and ho(eless' and so after a
while he said1 ,I than+ yo#' Godfather Binsswanger' b#t I believe there is no &omb that &an smooth o#t
the tangles of my life- It is better for me to do what I was (lanning to do when yo# &ame in- B#t I than+
yo#' nevertheless' for &oming-,
,Bes', said the aged man tho#ghtf#lly' ,I &an imagine that this is not easy for yo#- B#t (erha(s yo# &an
ta+e tho#ght on&e more' A#g#st#s' (erha(s yo# will reali.e what is now (rin&i(ally la&+ing' or (erha(s
yo# &an remember those times when yo#r mother was still alive and when yo# o&&asionally &ame to
see me in the evening- After all' yo# were sometimes ha((y' were yo# notC,
,Bes' in those days', A#g#st#s said' nodding' and the image of his radiant yo#th loo+ed ba&+ at him
from afar' (alely as tho#gh o#t of an anti>#e mirror- ,B#t that &annot &ome again- I &annot wish to be a
&hild on&e more- :hy' then it wo#ld begin all over againA,
,No' yo# are >#ite right' that wo#ld ma+e no sense- B#t thin+ on&e more of the time when we were
together ba&+ at home' and of the (oor girl whom yo# #sed to visit at night in her father,s garden when
yo# were at &ollege' and thin+ too of the bea#tif#l fair8haired lady with whom yo# on&e travelled on a
shi( at sea' and thin+ of all the moments when yo# have ever been ha((y and when life seemed to yo#
good and (re&io#s- "erha(s yo# &an re&ogni.e what made yo# ha((y at those times and &an wish for it-
Do so for my sa+e' my boyA,
A#g#st#s &losed his eyes and loo+ed ba&+ over his life as one loo+s ba&+ from a dar+ &orridor towards
a distant (oint of light' and he saw again how everything had on&e been bright and bea#tif#l aro#nd
him and then had be&ome dimmer and dimmer #ntil he stood now in &om(lete dar+ness' and nothing
&o#ld any longer &heer him- And the more he tho#ght ba&+ and remembered' the more bea#tif#l and
lovable and desirable seemed that little glowing light' and finally he re&ogni.ed it and tears started
from his eyes-
,I will try', he said to his godfather- ,Ta+e away the old magi& whi&h has not hel(ed me and give me
instead the ability to love (eo(leA,
:ee(ing' he +nelt before his an&ient friend and even as he san+ down he felt his love for this aged man
b#rning within him and str#ggling for e?(ression in forgotten words and gest#res- His godfather' that
tiny man' too+ him #( in his arms' &arried him to the bed and laid him down' and stro+ed his hair and
feverish brow-
,That is good', he whis(ered to him softly- ,That is good' my &hild' all will be well-,
There#(on A#g#st#s felt himself overwhelmed by a &r#shing weariness' as tho#gh he had aged many
years in an instant- He fell into a dee( slee(' and the old man went silently o#t of the em(ty ho#se-
A#g#st#s was awa+ened by a wild #(roar reso#nding thro#gh the ho#se' and when he got #( and
o(ened his bed&hamber door he fo#nd the hall and all the rooms filled with the friends who had &ome
to his (arty and fo#nd the (la&e deserted- They were angry and disa((ointed' and when he went
towards them' intending to win them all ba&+ as #s#al with a smile and a 9o+e' he s#ddenly reali.ed that
the (ower to do this had gone from him- They had barely &a#ght sight of him when they all began to
s&ream at him- He smiled hel(lessly and stret&hed o#t a((ealing hands in self8defen&e' b#t they fell
#(on him raging-
,Bo# &heat', one man &ried- ,:here is the money yo# owe meC, And another1 ,And the horse I loaned
yo#C, And a bea#tif#l f#rio#s woman1 ,@verybody +nows my se&rets now be&a#se yo#,ve tal+ed abo#t
me everywhere- Oh' how I hate yo#' yo# monsterA, And a hollow8eyed yo#ng man shrie+ed' his fa&e
distorted with hatred1 ,Bo# +now what yo# have made of me' yo# fiend' yo# &orr#(ter of yo#thA,
And so it went' ea&h one hea(ing ins#lts and &#rses on him 8all of them 9#stified 8 and many stri+ing
him) and after they had left' brea+ing mirrors as they went and ta+ing many val#ables away with them'
A#g#st#s got #( from the floor' beaten and h#miliated- :hen he entered his bed&hamber and loo+ed in
the mirror while washing' his fa&e (eered o#t at him' wrin+led and #gly' the eyes red and watering' and
blood was dri((ing from his forehead-
,That,s my reward', he said to himself' as he rinsed the blood from his fa&e' and hardly had he had time
to refle&t a little when #(roar bro+e o#t on&e more in the ho#se and a &rowd &ame storming #( the
stairway1 moneylenders to whom he had mortgaged his ho#se) a h#sband whose wife he had sed#&ed)
fathers whose sons he had tem(ted into vi&e and misery) maids and menservants he had dismissed'
(oli&emen and lawyers- An ho#r later he sat hand&#ffed in a (atrol wagon on his way to 9ail- Behind
him the &rowd sho#ted and sang mo&+ing songs' and a street hoodl#m threw a handf#l of filth thro#gh
the window into the (risoner,s fa&e-
Then the &ity re8e&hoed with the shamef#l deeds of this man whom so many had +nown and loved-
There was no sin he was not a&&#sed of' none that he denied- "eo(le he had long sin&e forgotten stood
before the 9#dges and a&&#sed him of things he had done years before1 servants he had rewarded and
who had robbed him revealed his se&ret vi&es' every fa&e was f#ll of loathing and hatred' and there was
no one to s(ea+ in his defen&e' to (raise him' to e?onerate him' to re&all any good thing abo#t him-
He did not (rotest against any of this b#t allowed himself to be led into a &ell and o#t of it again and
before the 9#dges and witnesses- He loo+ed with ama.ement and sorrow o#t of si&+ eyes at the many
evil' angry' hate8filled fa&es' and in ea&h he saw #nder the hatred and distortion a hidden &harm and felt
a s(ar+ of affe&tion- All these (eo(le had on&e loved him' and he had loved none of them) now he
begged their forgiveness and so#ght to remember something good abo#t ea&h one of them-
In the end he was sent to (rison' and no one vent#red to visit him- Then in his feverish dreams he
tal+ed to his mother and to his first beloved' to his Godfather Binsswanger and the northern lady on the
shi(' and when he awo+e and sat lonely and abandoned thro#gh the fearf#l days' he s#ffered all the
(ains of longing and isolation and he yearned for the sight of (eo(le as he had never yearned for any
(leas#re or (ossession-
And when he was released from (rison' he was si&+ and old and no one any longer re&ogni.ed him-
The world went its way) (eo(le rode in &arriages and on horseba&+ and (romenaded in the streets)
fr#its and flowers' toys and news(a(ers were offered for sale) and no one t#rned to s(ea+ to A#g#st#s-
Bea#tif#l women whom he had on&e held in his arms in an atmos(here of m#si& and &ham(agne went
by in their e>#i(ages' and the d#st of their (assing settled over A#g#st#s-
B#t the dreadf#l em(tiness and loneliness that had stifled him in the midst of l#?#ry now had
&om(letely disa((eared- :hen he (a#sed in the shadow of a gateway to ta+e shelter for a moment from
the heat of the s#n' or when he begged a drin+ of water in the &o#rtyard of some modest dwelling' then
he was ama.ed at how s#llenly and ill8tem(eredly (eo(le treated him' the same (eo(le who had earlier
res(onded to his (ro#d and indifferent words gratef#lly and with s(ar+ling eyes- Nevertheless' he was
delighted and to#&hed and moved by the sight of everyone' he loved the &hildren he saw at (lay and
going to s&hool' and he loved the old (eo(le sitting on ben&hes in front of their little ho#ses' warming
their withered hands in the s#n- If he saw some yo#ng man following a girl with yearning glan&es or a
wor+er ret#rning on a holiday eve and (i&+ing #( his &hildren in his arms' or a &lever' fashionable
do&tor driving by in silen&e and haste' intent #(on his (atients' or e>#ally some (oor' ill8&lad trollo(
waiting by a lam(8(ost' ready to offer even him' the o#t&ast' her love' then all these were his brothers
and sisters and ea&h one was stam(ed with the memory of a beloved mother and some finer
ba&+gro#nd' or the se&ret sign of a higher and nobler destiny' and ea&h was dear and remar+able in his
eyes and gave him food for tho#ght' and he &onsidered that no one was worse than himself-
A#g#st#s de&ided to wander thro#gh the world and loo+ for a (la&e where he &o#ld be of some servi&e
to (eo(le and th#s show them his love- He had to get #sed to the fa&t that his a((earan&e no longer
made anyone ha((y) his &hee+s had fallen in' his &lothes and shoes were those of a beggar' even his
voi&e and gait had none of the engaging >#ality that had on&e &heered and delighted the (o(#la&e-
%hildren feared him be&a#se of his s&raggly' long grey beard' the well8dressed sh#nned his &om(any
be&a#se he made them feel soiled and infe&ted' and the (oor distr#sted him as a stranger who might try
to snat&h away their few morsels of food- And so it was hard for him to be of servi&e to anyone- B#t he
learned' and he allowed nothing to offend him- He hel(ed a little &hild stret&hing o#t his hand for the
lat&h of a sho( whi&h he &o#ld not rea&h' and sometimes there wo#ld be someone even worse off than
himself' a lame man or a blind man whom he &o#ld assist and &heer a little along his road- And when
he &o#ld not do that' he &heerf#lly gave what little he had' a bright en&o#raging glan&e and a brotherly
greeting' a loo+ of #nderstanding and sym(athy- He learned in his wanderings to tell from (eo(le,s
e?(ressions what they e?(e&ted of him' what wo#ld give them (leas#re1 for one' a lo#d &heerf#l
greeting) for another' a >#iet glan&e) or when someone wanted to be left alone' to be #ndist#rbed- He
was ama.ed ea&h day at how m#&h misery there was in the world and how &ontent (eo(le &o#ld be
nevertheless' and it was s(lendid and heartening to him always to find every sorrow followed by
la#ghter' ne?t to ea&h death +nell a &hild,s song' ne?t to every greed and baseness an a&t of &o#rtesy' a
9o+e' a &omforting word' a smile-
H#man life seemed to him marvello#sly well arranged- If he t#rned a &orner and a horde of s&hoolboys
&ame bo#nding towards him' he saw how &o#rage and living 9oy and the bea#ty of yo#th shone in all
their eyes' and if they teased him and tormented him a little' that was not so bad) it was even
#nderstandable- :hen he &a#ght sight of himself in a store window or the (ool of a drin+ing fo#ntain'
he saw that he was very wrin+led and shabby- No' for him it &o#ld no longer be a >#estion of (leasing
(eo(le or wielding (ower' he had had eno#gh of that- It was most edifying to see how others str#ggled
along those (aths he had on&e followed and believed they were ma+ing (rogress' and how everyone
(#rs#ed his goal so eagerly and with so m#&h vigo#r and (ride and 9oy 8 in his eyes this was a
wonderf#l drama-
Now winter &ame and then s#mmer on&e more' and A#g#st#s lay ill for a long time in a &harity
hos(ital' and here he en9oyed' silently and than+f#lly' the (leas#re of seeing wret&hed fol+ &linging
tena&io#sly to life and tri#m(hing over death- It was marvello#s to see the (atien&e in the fa&es of those
gravely ill' and in the eyes of &onvales&ents the in&reasing bright 9oy of life' and bea#tif#l too were the
&alm' dignified fa&es of the dead' and fairer than all these were the love and (atien&e of the (retty'
imma&#late n#rses- B#t this (eriod too &ame to an end' the a#t#mn wind blew' and A#g#st#s wandered
forth in the fa&e of winter- A strange im(atien&e too+ (ossession of him' now that he saw how infinitely
slow his (rogress was' for he still wanted to visit all sorts of (la&es and to loo+ into so many' many
(eo(le,s eyes- His hair had t#rned grey and his eyes smiled wea+ly behind red' inflamed lids) grad#ally
his memory too grew &lo#ded so that it seemed to him as tho#gh he had never seen the world other than
it was on that day- B#t he was &ontent with it and fo#nd it altogether s(lendid and deserving of love-
At the beginning of winter' he &ame to a &ity- Snow was drifting thro#gh the dar+ streets' and a few
belated street #r&hins threw snowballs at the wanderer' b#t otherwise an evening h#sh h#ng over
everything- A#g#st#s was feeling very weary when he &ame to a narrow street that seemed familiar'
and then another as well- And there he was standing in front of his mother,s ho#se and that of his
Godfather Binsswanger' both of them small and shabby in the &old driving snow) b#t his godfather,s
one window was bright shimmering red and friendly in the winter night-
A#g#st#s went in and +no&+ed at the living8room door- The little old man &ame to meet him and led
him silently into the room' where it was warm and >#iet' with a bright little fire b#rning on the hearth-
,Are yo# h#ngryC, his godfather as+ed-
B#t A#g#st#s was not h#ngry' he only smiled and shoo+ his head-
,B#t yo# m#st be tired', his godfather said' s(reading his old f#r r#g on the floor' and the two old (eo(le
h#ddled there &lose to ea&h other and loo+ed into the fire-
,Bo# have &ome a long way', his godfather said-
,Oh' it was bea#tif#l- I,m 9#st tired now- $ay I slee( hereC I will go on tomorrow-,
,Indeed' yo# may- B#t don,t yo# want to see the angels dan&e on&e moreC,
,The angelsC Oh' yes' that,s something I wo#ld dearly love' if I &o#ld be a &hild again-,
,:e haven,t seen ea&h other in a long time', his godfather went on- ,Bo# have be&ome so good8loo+ing'
yo#r eyes are again as +ind and gentle as they were in the old times when yo#r mother was still alive- It
was good of yo# to visit me-,
The wanderer in his torn &lothes sat >#ietly beside his friend- He had never before been so weary' and
the (leasant warmth and the glow of the fire made his head swim so that he &o#ld no longer disting#ish
&learly between that day and earlier times-
,Godfather Binsswanger', he said' ,I,ve been na#ghty again and at home $other &ried- Bo# m#st tal+ to
her and tell her I,m going to be good from now on- :ill yo#C,
,I will', his godfather said- ,B#t don,t worry' she loves yo#-,
Now the fire had b#rned down and A#g#st#s was staring into the dim redness with large' slee(8filled
eyes as he had done in his &hildhood- His godfather too+ his head in his la(' a deli&ate eerie m#si&
drifted softly and en&hantingly thro#gh the dar+ened room' and a tho#sand (airs of tiny glittering
s(irits hovered and &ir&led ha((ily abo#t one another in elaborate arabes>#es in the air- A#g#st#s
wat&hed and listened and o(ened wide all his &hild,s re&e(tive sense to this regained (aradise-
On&e it seemed to him that his mother &alled' b#t he was too weary' and after all his godfather had
(romised to s(ea+ to her- And when he had fallen aslee(' his godfather folded his hands and sat
listening beside the silen&ed heart #ntil &om(lete dar+ness filled the room-
The "oet
The story is told of the %hinese (oet Han *oo+ that from early yo#th he was animated by an intense
desire to learn all abo#t the (oet,s art and to (erfe&t himself in everything &onne&ted with it- In those
days he was still living in his home &ity on the Bellow 2iver and had be&ome engaged 8 at his own wish
and with the aid of his (arents' who loved him tenderly 8 to a girl of good family) the wedding was to
be anno#n&ed shortly for a &hosen day of good omen- Han *oo+ at this time was abo#t twenty years old
and a handsome yo#ng man' modest and of agreeable manners' instr#&ted in the s&ien&es and' des(ite
his yo#th' already +nown among the literary fol+ of his distri&t for a n#mber of remar+able (oems-
:itho#t being e?a&tly ri&h' he had the e?(e&tation of &omfortable means' whi&h wo#ld be in&reased by
the dowry of his bride' and sin&e this bride was also very bea#tif#l and virt#o#s' nothing whatever
seemed la&+ing to the yo#th,s ha((iness- Nevertheless' he was not entirely &ontent' for his heart was
filled with the ambition to be&ome a (erfe&t (oet-
Then one evening when a lantern festival was being &elebrated on the river' it ha((ened that Han *oo+
was wandering alone on the o((osite ban+- He leaned against the tr#n+ of a tree that h#ng o#t over the
water' and mirrored in the river he saw a tho#sand lights floating and trembling' he saw men and
women and yo#ng girls on the boats and barges' greeting ea&h other and glowing li+e bea#tif#l flowers
in their festive robes' he heard the girl singers' the h#m of the .ither and the sweet tones of the fl#te
(layers' and over all this he saw the bl#ish night ar&hed li+e the dome of a tem(le- The yo#th,s heart
beat high as he too+ in all this bea#ty' a lonely observer in (#rs#it of his whim- B#t m#&h as he longed
to go a&ross the river and ta+e (art in the feast and be in the &om(any of his bride8to8be and his friends'
m#&h dee(er was his longing to absorb it all as a (er&e(tive observer and to re(rod#&e it in a wholly
(erfe&t (oem1 the bl#e of the night and the (lay of light on the water and the 9oy of the g#ests and the
yearning of the silent onloo+er leaning against the tree tr#n+ on the ban+- He reali.ed that at all
festivals and with all 9oys of this earth he wo#ld never feel wholly &omfortable and serene at heart)
even in the midst of life he wo#ld remain solitary and be' to a &ertain e?tent' a wat&her' an alien' and he
felt that his so#l' #nli+e most others' was so formed that he m#st be alone to e?(erien&e both the bea#ty
of the earth and the se&ret longings of a stranger- There#(on he grew sad' and (ondered this matter' and
the &on&l#sion of his tho#ghts was this' that tr#e ha((iness and dee( satisfa&tion &o#ld only be his if on
o&&asion he s#&&eeded in mirroring the world so (erfe&tly in his (oems that in these mirror images he
wo#ld (ossess the essen&e of the world' (#rified and made eternal-
Han *oo+ hardly +new whether he was still awa+e or had fallen aslee( when he heard a slight r#stling
and saw a stranger standing beside the tr#n+ of the tree' an old man of reverend as(e&t' wearing a violet
robe- Han *oo+ ro#sed himself and greeted the stranger with the sal#tation a((ro(riate to the aged and
disting#ished) the stranger' however' smiled and s(o+e a few verses in whi&h everything the yo#ng man
had 9#st felt was e?(ressed so &om(letely and bea#tif#lly and so e?a&tly in a&&ord with the r#les of the
great (oets that the yo#th,s heart stood still with ama.ement'
,Oh' who are yo#C, he &ried' bowing dee(ly- ,Bo# who &an see into my so#l and who re&ite more
bea#tif#l verses than I have ever heard from any of my tea&hersA,
The stranger smiled on&e more with the smile of one made (erfe&t' and said1 ,If yo# wish to be a (oet'
&ome to me- Bo# will find my h#t beside the so#r&e of the Great 2iver in the north8western mo#ntains-
I am &alled $aster of the "erfe&t :ord-,
There#(on the aged man ste((ed into the narrow shadow of the tree and instantly disa((eared' and Han
*oo+' sear&hing for him in vain and finding no tra&e of him' finally de&ided that it had all been a dream
&a#sed by his fatig#e- He hastened a&ross the boats and 9oined in the festival' b#t amid the &onversation
and the m#si& of the fl#tes he &ontin#ed to hear the mysterio#s voi&e of the stranger' and his so#l
seemed to have gone away with the old man' for he sat remote and with dreaming eyes among the
merry fol+' who teased him for being in love-
A few days later Han *oo+,s father (re(ared to s#mmon his friends and relations to de&ide #(on the day
of the wedding- The bridegroom dem#rred and said1 ,*orgive me if I seem to offend against the d#ty a
son owes his father- B#t yo# +now how great my longing is to disting#ish myself in the art of (oetry'
and even tho#gh some of my friends (raise my (oems' nevertheless I +now very well that I am still a
beginner and still on the first stage of the 9o#rney- Therefore' I beg yo# let me go my way in loneliness
for a while and devote myself to my st#dies' for it seems to me that having a wife and a ho#se to
govern will +ee( me from these things- B#t now I am still yo#ng and witho#t other d#ties' and I wo#ld
li+e to live for a time for my (oetry' from whi&h I ho(e to gain 9oy and fame-,
The s(ee&h filled his father with great s#r(rise and he said1 ,This art m#st indeed be dearer to yo# than
anything' sin&e yo# wish to (ost(one yo#r wedding on a&&o#nt of it- Or has something arisen between
yo# and yo#r brideC If so' tell me so that I &an hel( to re&on&ile yo#' or sele&t another girl-,
The son swore' however' that his bride8to8be was no less dear to him than she had been yesterday and
always' and that no shadow of dis&ord had fallen between them- Then he told his father that on the day
of the lantern festival a $aster had be&ome +nown to him in a dream' and that he desired to be his (#(il
more ardently than all the ha((iness in the world-
,Eery well', his father said' ,I will grant yo# a year- In this time yo# may (#rs#e yo#r dream' whi&h
(erha(s was sent to yo# by a god-,
,It may even ta+e two years', Han *oo+ said hesitantly- ,:ho &an tellC,
So his father let him go' and was tro#bled) the yo#th' however' wrote a letter to his bride' said farewell'
and de(arted-
:hen he had wandered for a very long time' he rea&hed the so#r&e of the river' and in &om(lete
isolation he fo#nd a bamboo h#t' and in front of the h#t on a woven mat sat the aged man whom he had
seen beside the tree on the river ban+- He sat (laying a l#te' and when he saw his g#est a((roa&h with
reveren&e he did not rise or greet him b#t sim(ly smiled and let his deli&ate fingers r#n over the strings'
and a magi&al m#si& flowed li+e a silver &lo#d thro#gh the valley' so that the yo#th stood ama.ed and
in his sweet astonishment forgot everything' #ntil the $aster of the "erfe&t :ord laid aside his little
l#te and ste((ed into the h#t- Then Han *oo+ followed him reverently and stayed with him as his
servant and (#(il-
:ith the (assing of a month he had learned to des(ise all the (oems he had hitherto &om(osed' and he
blotted them o#t of his memory- And after more months he blotted o#t all the songs that he had learned
from his tea&hers at home- The $aster rarely s(o+e to him) in silen&e he ta#ght him the art of l#te
(laying #ntil the (#(il,s being was entirely sat#rated with m#si&- On&e Han *oo+ made a little (oem
whi&h des&ribed the flight of two birds in the a#t#mn s+y' and he was (leased with it- He dared not
show it to the $aster' b#t one evening he sang it o#tside the h#t' and the $aster listened attentively-
However' he said no word- He sim(ly (layed softly on his l#te and at on&e the air grew &ool and
twilight fell s#ddenly' a shar( wind arose altho#gh it was mids#mmer' and thro#gh the s+y whi&h had
grown grey flew two herons in ma9esti& migration' and everything was so m#&h more bea#tif#l and
(erfe&t than in the (#(il,s verses that the latter be&ame sad and was silent and felt that he was
worthless- And this is what the an&ient did ea&h time' and when a year had (assed' Han *oo+ had
almost &om(letely mastered the (laying of the l#te' b#t the art of (oetry seemed to him ever more
diffi&#lt and s#blime-
:hen two years had (assed' the yo#th felt a devo#ring homesi&+ness for his family' his native &ity' and
his bride' and he beso#ght the $aster to let him leave-
The $aster smiled and nodded- ,Bo# are free', he said' ,and may go where yo# li+e- Bo# may ret#rn'
yo# may stay away' 9#st as it s#its yo#-,
Then the (#(il set o#t on his 9o#rney and travelled #ninterr#(tedly #ntil one morning in the half light of
dawn he stood on the ban+ of his native river and loo+ed a&ross the ar&hed bridge to his home &ity- He
stole se&retly into his father,s garden and listened thro#gh the window of the bed&hamber to his father,s
breathing as he sle(t' and he sli((ed into the or&hard beside his bride,s ho#se and &limbed a (ear tree'
and from there he saw his bride standing in her room &ombing her hair- And while he &om(ared all
these things whi&h he was seeing with his eyes to the mental (i&t#res he had (ainted of them in his
homesi&+ness' it be&ame &lear to him that he was' after all' destined to be a (oet' and he saw that in
(oets, dreams reside a bea#ty and en&hantment that one see+s in vain in the things of the real world-
And he &limbed down from the tree and fled o#t of the garden and over the bridge' away from his
native &ity' and ret#rned to the high mo#ntain valley- There' as before' sat the old $aster in front of his
h#t on his modest mat' stri+ing the l#te with his fingers' and instead of a greeting he re&ited two verses
abo#t the blessings of art' and at their de(th and harmony the yo#ng man,s eyes filled with tears-
On&e more Han *oo+ stayed with the $aster of the "erfe&t :ord' who' now that his (#(il had mastered
the l#te' instr#&ted him in the .ither' and the months melted away li+e snow before the west wind-
Twi&e more it ha((ened that he was over&ome by homesi&+ness- On the one o&&asion he ran away
se&retly at night' b#t before he had rea&hed the last bend in the valley the night wind blew a&ross the
.ither hanging at the door of the h#t' and the notes flew after him and &alled him ba&+ so that he &o#ld
not resist them- B#t the ne?t time he dreamed he was (lanting a yo#ng tree in his garden' and his wife
and &hildren were assembled there and his &hildren were watering the tree with wine and mil+- :hen
he awo+e' the moon was shining into his room and he got #(' dist#rbed in mind' and saw in the ne?t
room the $aster lying aslee( with his grey beard trembling gently) then he was over&ome by a bitter
hatred for this man who' it seemed to him' had destroyed his life and &heated him of his f#t#re- He was
abo#t to throw himself #(on the $aster and m#rder him when the an&ient o(ened his eyes and began to
smile with a sad sweetness and gentleness that disarmed his (#(il-
,2emember' Han *oo+', the aged man said softly' ,yo# are free to do what yo# li+e- Bo# may go to yo#r
home and (lant trees' yo# may hate me and +ill me' it ma+es very little differen&e-,
,Oh' how &o#ld I hate yo#C, the (oet &ried' dee(ly moved- ,That wo#ld be li+e hating heaven itself-,
And he stayed and learned to (lay the .ither' and after that the fl#te' and later he began #nder his
$aster,s g#idan&e to ma+e (oems' and he slowly learned the se&ret art of a((arently saying only sim(le
and homely things b#t thereby stirring the hearer,s so#l li+e wind on the s#rfa&e of the water- He
des&ribed the &oming of the s#n' how it hesitates on the mo#ntain,s rim' and the noiseless darting of the
fishes when they flee li+e shadows #nder the water' and the swaying of a yo#ng bir&h tree in the s(ring
wind' and when (eo(le listened it was not only the s#n and the (lay of the fish and the whis(ering of
the bir&h tree' b#t it seemed as tho#gh heaven and earth ea&h time &himed together for an instant in
(erfe&t harmony' and ea&h hearer was im(elled to thin+ with 9oy and (ain abo#t what he loved or hated'
the boy abo#t s(ort' the yo#th abo#t his beloved' and the old man abo#t death-
Han *oo+ no longer +new how many years he had s(ent with the $aster beside the so#r&e of the Great
2iver) often it seemed to him as tho#gh he had entered this valley only the evening before and been
re&eived by the an&ient (laying on his stringed instr#ment) often' too' it seemed as tho#gh all the ages
and e(o&hs of man had vanished behind him and be&ome #nreal-
And then one morning he awo+e alone in the ho#se' and tho#gh he sear&hed everywhere and &alled' the
$aster had disa((eared- Overnight it seemed s#ddenly to have be&ome a#t#mn' a raw wind t#gged at
the old h#t' and over the ridge of the mo#ntain great flights of migratory birds were moving' tho#gh it
was not yet the season for that-
Then Han *oo+ too+ the little l#te with him and des&ended to his native (rovin&e' and when he &ame
among men they greeted him with the sal#tation a((ro(riate to the aged and disting#ished' and when
he &ame to his home &ity he fo#nd that his father and his bride and his relations had died and other
(eo(le were living in their ho#ses- In the evening' however' the festival of the lanterns was &elebrated
on the river and the (oet Han *oo+ stood on the far side of the dar+er ban+' leaning against the tr#n+ of
an an&ient tree- And when he (layed on the little l#te' the women began to sigh and loo+ed into the
night' en&hanted and overwhelmed' and the yo#ng men &alled for the l#te (layer' whom they &o#ld not
find anywhere' and they e?&laimed that none of them had ever heard s#&h tones from a l#te- B#t Han
*oo+ only smiled- He loo+ed into the river where floated the mirrored images of the tho#sand lam(s)
and 9#st as he &o#ld no longer disting#ish between the refle&tions and reality' so he fo#nd in his so#l no
differen&e between this festival and that first one when he had stood there as a yo#th and heard the
words of the strange $aster-
*l#te Dream
,Here', said my father' handing me a small ivory fl#te' ,ta+e this and don,t forget yo#r old father when
yo# are entertaining (eo(le in foreign lands with yo#r (laying- It is now high time for yo# to see the
world and gain +nowledge- I had this fl#te made for yo# be&a#se yo# don,t li+e any other +ind of wor+
and always 9#st want to sing- Only be s#re always to &hoose bright' &heery songs' otherwise it wo#ld be
a (ity abo#t the gift God has given yo#-,
$y dear father #nderstood little abo#t m#si&' he was a s&holar) he tho#ght all I had to do was blow into
the (retty little fl#te and that wo#ld be that- I did not wish to #nde&eive him' and so I gave him my
than+s' (#t the fl#te in my (o&+et' and too+ my de(art#re-
O#r valley was familiar to me only as far as the big farm mill) and so beyond that the world began' and
it (leased me greatly- A bee' tired from flying abo#t' had lighted on my sleeve) I too+ her with me so
that later on at my first resting (la&e I wo#ld have a messenger ready to send ba&+ home with my
greetings-
:oods and meadows a&&om(anied me on my way and the river ran merrily beside me) I saw that the
world was little different from my home- The trees and flowers' the ears of &orn' and the ha.el b#shes
s(o+e to me' I sang their songs with them and they #nderstood me 9#st as at home) the singing wa+ened
my bee' she &re(t slowly #( to my sho#lder' flew off and &ir&led twi&e aro#nd me with her dee(' sweet
b#..ing' then steered straight as an arrow ba&+ towards home-
"resently a yo#ng girl &ame strolling o#t of the woods &arrying a bas+et on her arm and wearing a
broad shade hat of straw on her blonde head-
,Grass Gott', I said to her' ,where are yo# off toC,
,I,m ta+ing the harvesters their dinner', she said' wal+ing beside me- ,And where are yo# going todayC,
,I am going o#t into the world' my father sent me- He thin+s I o#ght to give &on&erts on the fl#te' b#t I
don,t really +now how' I shall have to learn first-,
,:ell now- And what &an yo# really doC @veryone has to be able to do something' after all-,
,Nothing s(e&ial- I &an sing songs-,
,:hat +ind of songs do yo# singC,
,Bo# +now' all +inds of songs' for the morning and the evening' and for all the trees and the animals and
the flowers- Now' for e?am(le' I &o#ld sing a (retty song abo#t a yo#ng girl &oming o#t of the woods
and ta+ing the harvesters their dinner-,
,%o#ld yo# reallyC Then go ahead and sing itA,
,Bes' b#t what,s yo#r nameC,
,Brigitte-,
Then I sang a song abo#t the bea#tif#l Brigitte in her straw hat and what she had in her bas+et' and how
all the flowers stared at her' and the bl#e bindweed in the garden hedge rea&hed o#t after her' and all
the other (arti&#lars- She (aid stri&t attention and said it was good- And when I told her I was h#ngry'
she raised the lid of her bas+et and got o#t a (ie&e of bread- I too+ a bite of it' &ontin#ing to wal+
ra(idly' and she said1 ,Bo# m#stn,t r#n while yo#,re eating- One thing after the other-, And so we sat
down in the grass and I ate my bread' and she &las(ed her brown hands aro#nd her +nees and loo+ed at
me-
,:ill yo# sing something else for meC, she as+ed when I had finished-
,Of &o#rse I will- :hat shall it beC,
,Abo#t a girl whose darling ran away from her and she is sad-,
,No' I &an,t do that- I don,t +now what that wo#ld be li+e' and anyway one o#ghtn,t to be so sad- I m#st
only sing bright' &heery songs' my father said- I,ll sing to yo# abo#t the &#&+oo bird or the b#tterfly-,
,Then yo# +now nothing at all abo#t loveC, she as+ed-
,Abo#t loveC Oh' yes' I do- That is the most bea#tif#l thing of all-,
I began at on&e and sang abo#t the s#nbeam that has fallen in love with the red (o((y blossoms and
how it s(orts with them and is filled with 9oy- And abo#t the female fin&h when she is waiting for the
male' and when he &omes she flies away and (retends to be terrified- I sang f#rther abo#t the girl with
brown eyes and abo#t the yo#th who &omes along and sings and is rewarded with a (ie&e of bread) b#t
now he does not want any more bread' he wants a +iss from the girl and wants to loo+ into her brown
eyes' and he will go on singing and will not sto( #ntil she begins to smile and sh#ts his mo#th with her
li(s-
Then Brigitte bent over and sh#t my mo#th with her li(s and &losed her eyes and then o(ened them
again' and I loo+ed into the &lose8#(' brown8golden stars in whi&h I saw myself and a few white
meadow flowers refle&ted-
,The world is very bea#tif#l', I said- ,$y father was >#ite right- Now I will hel( yo# &arry yo#r bas+et
and we will ta+e it to yo#r (eo(le-,
I (i&+ed #( her bas+et and we wal+ed on' her footste(s ringing with mine and her merriment mat&hing
my own' and the forest whis(ered gently and &oolly from the mo#ntain heights) I had never wandered
with so m#&h 9oy' I &ontin#ed to sing gaily for a while #ntil I had to sto( from sheer s#(erab#ndan&e)
there were 9#st too many songs &oming from valley and mo#ntain' from grass and trees and river and
#nderbr#sh' all the whis(erings and the stories-
Then I had to refle&t1 If I &o#ld sim#ltaneo#sly #nderstand and sing all these tho#sands of songs of the
world' abo#t the grass and flowers and (eo(le and &lo#ds and abo#t everything' the leafy forests and
the (ine forests and all the animals' and also abo#t the distant seas and mo#ntains and the stars and the
moon' and if all this &o#ld reso#nd and sing inside me at on&e' then I wo#ld be God Almighty and ea&h
new song wo#ld ta+e its (la&e in the s+y as a star-
B#t while I was thin+ing this' (erfe&tly still inside' filled with wonder be&a#se s#&h a thing had never
&ome into my mind before' Brigitte sto((ed and held me ba&+ by the handle of the bas+et-
,Now I m#st go #( this way', she said- ,O#r (eo(le are #( there in the field- And yo#' where are yo#
goingC :ill yo# &ome with meC,
,No' I &annot &ome with yo#- I m#st go o#t into the world- $y best than+s for the bread' Brigitte' and
for the +iss- I will thin+ of yo#-,
She too+ her dinner bas+et' and a&ross it she on&e more bent her eyes #(on me in the brown shadow'
and her li(s &l#ng to mine and her +iss was so sweet and good that I almost grew sad from sheer
gladness- Then I hastily &alled farewell and wal+ed >#i&+ly off down the road-
The girl &limbed slowly #( the mo#ntainside' and #nder the hanging foliage of the bee&h trees at the
forest,s edge she sto((ed and ga.ed after me' and when I signalled to her' waving my hat over my head'
she nodded on&e and disa((eared into the shadow of the bee&hes' as silent as a (i&t#re-
I' however' went on my way absorbed in my own tho#ghts #ntil the road t#rned a &orner-
There stood a mill and beside the mill a boat lay in the water and in it sat a solitary man who seemed to
have been waiting 9#st for me' for as I to#&hed my hat to him and &limbed aboard' the boat immediately
began to move and ran downstream- I sat amidshi(s and the man sat in the stern at the helm' and when
I as+ed him where we were going he raised his head and stared at me with veiled grey eyes-
,:herever yo# li+e', he said in a low tone- ,Downstream and into the o&ean' or to the great &ities' yo#
have yo#r &hoi&e- It all belongs to me-,
,It all belongs to yo#C Then yo# are the /ingC,
,"erha(s', he said- ,And yo# are a (oet' it seems- Then sing me a song as we travel-,
I (#lled myself together- *ear filled me be&a#se of the solemn grey man and be&a#se o#r boat moved so
fast and silently down the river- I sang abo#t the river' whi&h &arries boats and mirrors the s#n and boils
#( on the ro&+y shores and is ha((y when it &om(letes its wanderings-
The man,s fa&e remained e?(ressionless' and when I sto((ed singing he nodded as silent as a dreamer'
and then all at on&e to my astonishment he began to sing himself' and he too sang of the river and of
the river,s 9o#rney thro#gh the valleys' and his song was more bea#tif#l and more (owerf#l than mine'
b#t in it everything so#nded >#ite different-
The river' as he sang of it' r#shed down from the hills li+e a roistering vandal' dar+ and wild) with
gnashing teeth it fo#ght against the &onstraint of mills and ar&hing bridges) it loathed every boat it had
to &arry' and in its waves and long green waterweed it smilingly &radled the white &or(ses of the
drowned-
All this (leased me not at all' and yet the so#nd of it was so bea#tif#l and mysterio#s that I be&ame
wholly &onf#sed and fell silent in my distress- If what this s#btle &lever old bard was singing in his
m#ted voi&e was tr#e' then all my songs were only nonsense and silly &hild,s (lay- Then the world at
bottom was not good and bright li+e God,s own heart' b#t dar+ and des(erate' evil and sombre' and
when the woods r#stled' it was not from 9oy b#t from (ain-
:e voyaged on and the shadows lengthened' and ea&h time I began to sing' it so#nded less ass#red and
my voi&e grew fainter' and ea&h time the strange singer wo#ld answer me with a song that made the
world ever more enigmati& and sorrowf#l and me ever more o((ressed and sad-
$y so#l a&hed and I lamented not having stayed on shore with the flowers or with bea#tif#l Brigitte'
and to &onsole myself in the growing d#s+ I began to sing again in a lo#d voi&e and I sang amid the red
glow of evening the song of Brigitte and her +isses-
Then twilight &ame and I fell silent' and the man at the helm sang' and he too sang of love and the
(leas#res of love' of brown eyes and of bl#e eyes' of moist red li(s' and his im(assioned singing above
the dar+ening flood was bea#tif#l and moving' b#t in his song love too had be&ome dar+ and terrifying
and a deadly mystery for whi&h men gro(ed' mad and bleeding in their misery' and with whi&h they
tort#red and +illed one another-
I gave ear and grew as weary and tro#bled as tho#gh I had already been #nder way for years and had
travelled thro#gh nothing b#t sorrow and misery- I felt a &onstant faint &hilly stream of sorrow and
ang#ish &ree(ing a&ross to me from the stranger' and into my heart-
,:ell then' life is not the highest and best', I &ried at last' bitterly' ,b#t death is- Then I besee&h yo#'
sorrowf#l /ing' sing me a song of deathA,
The man at the helm now sang abo#t death' and his singing was more bea#tif#l than anything I had
ever heard- B#t even death was not the highest and best' even in death there was no &omfort- Death was
life' and life was death' and they were lo&+ed together in an eternal' mad love8battle' and this was the
final word and the meaning of the world' and then&e &ame a radian&e that &o#ld glorify all misery' and
then&e &ame a shadow that tro#bled all 9oy and bea#ty and shro#ded them in dar+ness- B#t from o#t of
this dar+ness' 9oy b#rned more intimately and more bea#tif#lly' and love had a dee(er glow within this
night-
I listened' and had be&ome (erfe&tly still) there was no more will in me save that of this strange man-
His glan&e rested on me &almly and with a &ertain sad +indliness' and his grey eyes were f#ll of the
sorrow and the bea#ty of the world- He smiled at me and then I too+ heart and (leaded in my misery1
,Oh' let #s (#t abo#t' yo#A I am fearf#l here in the dar+ and I want to t#rn ba&+ and go where I &an find
Brigitte' or home to my father-,
The man stood #( and (ointed into the night' and the lantern shone bright on his thin' determined fa&e-
,There is no way ba&+', he said solemnly and gently- ,One m#st &ontin#e to go forward if one wants to
fathom the world- And yo# have already had what is best and finest from the girl with the brown eyes'
and the farther yo# are from her the better and finer it will be- B#t no matter' sail on' wherever yo#
wish- I will give yo# my (la&e at the helmA,
I was in deathly des(air and yet I saw that he was right- *#ll of yearning' I tho#ght of Brigitte and of
my home and of everything that had so re&ently been near and bright and my own' and that I had now
lost- B#t now I m#st ta+e the stranger,s (la&e and man the helm' so it m#st be-
Therefore' I got #( in silen&e and ste((ed thro#gh the boat towards the (ilot,s seat' and the man &ame
towards me silently' and as we were (assing he loo+ed fi?edly into my fa&e and handed me his lantern-
B#t when I was seated at the helm and had (la&ed the lantern beside me' I was alone in the boat- I
re&ogni.ed with a dee( sh#dder that the man had disa((eared' and yet I was not s#r(rised' I had had a
(remonition- It seemed to me that the bea#tif#l day of wandering and Brigitte and my father and my
homeland had been only dreams and that I was old and sorrowf#l and had already been voyaging
forever and ever on this no&t#rnal river-
I +new that I m#st not &all the man' and re&ognition of the tr#th &ame over me li+e a &hill-
To ma+e s#re of what I already s#s(e&ted' I leaned o#t over the water and lifted the lantern' and o#t of
the bla&+ watery mirror a fa&e (eered #( at me' a fa&e with severe and solemn feat#res and grey eyes'
an old +nowing fa&e' and it was I-
And sin&e no way led ba&+' I voyaged forth over the dar+ waters dee(er into the night-
Strange News from Another Star
A so#thern (rovin&e of o#r lovely star had s#ffered a great &alamity- An earth>#a+e a&&om(anied by
fearf#l th#nderstorms and floods had destroyed three large villages together with all the farms and
gardens' fields and woods- A great many (eo(le and animals had been +illed and' saddest of all' there
was a total la&+ of flowers in ade>#ate >#antity to wreathe the dead and a((ro(riately adorn their last
resting8(la&es-
:hatever &o#ld be done was' of &o#rse' done (rom(tly- Immediately after the dreadf#l ho#r'
messengers bearing an #rgent a((eal in the name of &harity h#rried thro#gh the nearby &o#ntryside' and
from all the towers in the (rovin&e (re&entors intoned the dee(ly moving verses +nown from of old as
the Hymn to the Goddess of %om(assion' whose strains no man &o#ld resist- Sym(athi.ers and hel(ers
&ame in throngs from all the &ities and towns' and the #nfort#nates who were shelterless were showered
with &ordial invitations from relations' friends' and even strangers' to share their homes- *ood and
&lothing' horses and wagons' tools' stone' and wood' and many other materials were bro#ght in from all
sides' and while the old men' women' and &hildren were led away by +indly hands' were &omforted and
&ared for' while the in9#red were &ons&ientio#sly washed and bandaged and a sear&h for the dead was
&arried o#t among the r#ins' other (eo(le were already at wor+ &learing away fallen roofs' (ro((ing #(
sagging walls with beams' and (re(aring for a swift reb#ilding- At first a breath of horror lingered in
the air and there emanated from all the dead a reminder of grief and admonition to reverent silen&e' b#t
soon there &ame into every &o#ntenan&e and voi&e a more &heerf#l air' a &ertain m#ted festiveness1 for
the &ommon effort in this #rgent #nderta+ing and the very fa&t of doing something so handsome and so
deserving of than+s reass#red every heart- :hereas the res&#ers had beg#n their wor+ in awe and
silen&e' shortly a ha((y voi&e &o#ld be heard here and there' a s#bd#ed song a&&om(anying the shared
labo#r' and' as might be e?(e&ted' of all the things s#ng the favo#rites were the two an&ient (roverbs1
,How blessed to bring aid to one newly affli&ted) his heart drin+s #( +indness as a (ar&hed garden
drin+s #( s(ring rain and res(onds with flowers and than+sgiving-, And that other1 ,The serenity of God
flows forth from a&tion (arta+en of in &ommon-,
B#t now they were &onfronted by that lamentable la&+ of flowers- To be s#re' the dead that had been
fo#nd first had been adorned with the flowers and bo#ghs that had been &olle&ted from the r#ined
gardens- Then (eo(le had fet&hed all the available flowers from nearby towns- B#t the great misfort#ne
was that the three r#ined &omm#nities had had the largest and finest gardens of flowers of that season
of the year- "eo(le had visited them ann#ally to see the nar&iss#s and &ro&#ses' whi&h were not to be
fo#nd elsewhere in s#&h immense >#antities or so &aref#lly &#ltivated or of s#&h marvello#sly &olo#red
varieties- And all this was now r#ined and gone- And so (eo(le stood abo#t in bewilderment' not
+nowing how the re>#irements of tradition were to be met for all these dead' the tradition that every
h#man being and animal m#st be adorned at death with the flowers of the season and that interment be
all the ri&her and more magnifi&ent the more s#dden and tragi& the manner of death-
The @ldest of the "rovin&e' who had arrived in one of the first res&#e vehi&les' soon fo#nd himself so
overwhelmed by >#estions' (leas' and &om(laints that he had tro#ble maintaining his &alm
&heerf#lness- B#t with an effort he managed to >#iet his heart' and his eyes remained bright and
friendly' his voi&e &lear and &o#rteo#s' and his li(s #nder his white beard never for an instant lost the
(ea&ef#l' +indly smile that be&ame him as a wise man and a &o#nsellor-
,$y friends', he said' ,a disaster has &ome #(on #s thro#gh the will of the gods' who desire to test #s-
:e &an reb#ild and ret#rn to o#r brothers everything that has been destroyed here' and I am gratef#l to
the gods that I at a great age have been allowed to witness the way yo# have all &ome hither' leaving
yo#r own affairs' to hel( o#r brothers- B#t where will we find the flowers to adorn these dead
bea#tif#lly and (ro(erly to &elebrate their transformationC *or so long as we are alive and (resent' it
m#st not ha((en that a single one of these weary (ilgrims is interred witho#t the (ro(er floral offering-
I do not do#bt that yo# agree-,
,Bes', they all &ried' ,that is o#r o(inion too-,
,I +new it', the @ldest said in his fatherly voi&e- ,Now I shall tell yo# what we m#st do' my friends- :e
m#st trans(ort all these weary ones whom we &annot b#ry today to the great s#mmer tem(le high in the
mo#ntains where there is still snow- There they will be safe and will remain #n&hanged #ntil their
flowers &an be (ro&#red- B#t there is only one who &an hel( #s obtain so many flowers at this season-
Only the /ing &an do that- Therefore' one of #s m#st be sent to the /ing to s#e for his hel(-,
And on&e more they all nodded and &ried1 ,Bes' yes' to the /ingA,
,So be it', the @ldest said' and everyone was ha((y to see the radiant smile #nder his white beard- ,B#t
whom shall we send to the /ingC He m#st be yo#ng and vigoro#s' for the 9o#rney is long' and we m#st
(rovide him with o#r best horse- However' he m#st also be handsome and (#re of heart and bright of
eye so that the /ing,s heart will be #nable to resist him- He need not say m#&h' b#t his eyes m#st +now
how to s(ea+- No do#bt the best thing wo#ld be to send a &hild' the handsomest boy in o#r &omm#nity'
b#t how &o#ld he ma+e s#&h a tri(C Bo# m#st hel( me' my friends' and if there is anyone here who is
willing to #nderta+e this mission or who +nows a s#itable (erson' I beg him to s(ea+ #(-,
The @ldest fell silent' glan&ing abo#t with his bright eyes' b#t no one ste((ed forward and no voi&e was
raised-
:hen he had re(eated his >#estion a se&ond and then a third time' there &ame o#t of the throng a
si?teen8year8old yo#th who loo+ed hardly more than a &hild- He &ast his eyes to the gro#nd and bl#shed
as he sal#ted the @ldest-
The @ldest loo+ed at him and saw in an instant that this was the (ro(er messenger- However' he smiled
and said1 ,It is fine that yo# wish to be o#r messenger' b#t how &omes it that of all this &rowd yo# are
the one to vol#nteerC,
Then the yo#th raised his eyes to the an&ient man and said1 ,If there is no other here who wishes to go'
then let me go-,
B#t a man in the &rowd sho#ted1 ,Send him' @ldest- :e +now him- He &omes from this village and the
earth>#a+es destroyed his flower garden- It was the most bea#tif#l flower garden in o#r town-,
The @ldest loo+ed in +indly fashion into the boy,s eyes and as+ed1 ,Are yo# so grieved abo#t yo#r
flowersC,
The yo#th answered very softly1 ,I am grieved' b#t it is not on that a&&o#nt that I have vol#nteered- I
had a dear friend and also a bea#tif#l favo#rite &olt' they both were +illed in the earth>#a+e and now
they are lying in o#r hall and there m#st be flowers so that they &an be b#ried-,
The @ldest blessed him by the laying on of hands' and very >#i&+ly the best horse was &hosen for him
and he s(rang instantly to the horse,s ba&+' ta((ed him on the ne&+ and nodded good8bye' then he
gallo(ed o#t of the village' straight a&ross the wet' devastated fields and away-
The yo#th rode all day- To rea&h the &a(ital and the /ing as >#i&+ly as he &o#ld' he &hose the way over
the mo#ntains' and at evening as it was growing dar+ he was leading his steed by the reins #( a stee(
(ath amid woods and ro&+s-
A h#ge dar+ bird s#&h as he had never seen before flew in front of him' and he followed it #ntil the bird
alighted on the roof of a little o(en tem(le- The yo#th left his horse in a forest glade and strode thro#gh
the wooden (illars into the sim(le san&t#ary- As sa&rifi&ial stone he fo#nd only a bo#lder set #(' a blo&+
of bla&+ stone of a +ind not to be fo#nd in that neighbo#rhood' and on it the strange symbol of a deity
#n+nown to the messenger1 a heart being devo#red by a bird of (rey-
To show his reveren&e to the godhead' he offered as a gift a bl#e bellflower he had (l#&+ed at the foot
of the mo#ntain and thr#st into his b#ttonhole- There#(on he lay down in a &orner' for he was very
weary and wished to slee(-
B#t he &o#ld not find slee(' whi&h &#stomarily stood ea&h night by his bed- The bellflower on the ro&+
or the bla&+ stone itself' or whatever it might be' e?#ded a (enetrating' strange' dist#rbing s&ent' the
#n&anny symbol of the god shone with a s(e&tral radian&e in the dar+ hall' and on the roof the strange
bird sat and from time to time beat its enormo#s wings so that there was a r#stling in the trees li+e a
&oming storm-
Th#s it &ame abo#t that in the middle of the night the yo#ng man got #( and wal+ed o#t of the tem(le
and loo+ed #( at the bird- The latter beat its wings and stared at the yo#th-
,:hy are yo# not aslee(C, as+ed the bird-
,I do not +now', the yo#th said- ,"erha(s be&a#se I have learned abo#t sorrow-,
,5#st what +ind of sorrowC,
,$y friend and my favo#rite steed both have (erished-,
,Is dying so bad' thenC, the bird as+ed disdainf#lly-
,Oh no' great bird' it is not so bad' it is only a farewell' b#t that is not the reason I am sad- The bad thing
is that we &annot b#ry my friend and my bea#tif#l horse be&a#se we have no more flowers-,
,There are worse things than that', the bird said' and r#stled its feathers im(atiently-
,No' bird' there is &ertainly nothing worse- :hoever is b#ried witho#t floral offering is debarred from
rebirth in a&&ordan&e with his heart,s desire- And whoever b#ries his dead witho#t &elebrating the floral
festival will see the shades of his de(arted in his dreams- Bo# &an see how it is) even now I &annot
slee( be&a#se my dead are still witho#t flowers-,
The bird emitted a ras(ing s&ree&h from its hoo+ed bea+-
,Bo#ng man' yo# are ignorant of sorrow if yo# have learned nothing beyond this- Have yo# never heard
tell of the great evilsC Of hatred' m#rder' and 9ealo#syC,
:hen he heard these words s(o+en' the yo#th felt as tho#gh he were dreaming- Then he betho#ght
himself and said h#mbly1 ,To be s#re' O bird' I remember1 these things are written abo#t in the old
histories and legends- B#t s#rely that is o#tside reality' or (erha(s it was that way in the world on&e a
long time ago before there were any flowers or any +indly gods- :ho wants to thin+ of itA,
The bird la#ghed softly- Then it stret&hed itself taller and said to the boy in its harsh voi&e1 ,So now yo#
want to go to the /ing' and shall I show yo# the wayC,
,Oh' yo# +now the way', the yo#th &ried ha((ily- ,Bes' if yo#,re willing' (lease do-,
Then the great bird glided silently to the gro#nd' noiselessly s(read its wings a(art' and dire&ted the
yo#th to leave his horse behind and &ome with it to the /ing-
The messenger seated himself and rode on the bird- ,Sh#t yo#r eyesA, the bird &ommanded' and the
yo#ng man did so' and they flew thro#gh the dar+ness of the s+y as silently and softly as the flight of
an owl' only the &old air whistled aro#nd the messenger,s ears- And they flew and flew all night long-
:hen it was early morning they sto((ed' and the bird &ried1 ,O(en yo#r eyes', and the yo#th o(ened his
eyes- He fo#nd himself standing at the edge of a forest' and beneath him in the first glow of morning
lay a glittering (lain' so bright that it da..led him-
,Bo# will find me here at the edge of the forest again', the bird &ried- It shot into the s+y li+e an arrow
and immediately disa((eared in the bl#e-
A strange feeling &ame over the yo#ng messenger as he wandered o#t of the forest into the broad (lain-
@verything ro#nd abo#t him was so different that he did not +now whether he was awa+e or dreaming-
There were meadows and trees li+e the ones at home' the s#n was shining' and the wind (layed in the
tall grass' b#t there were no (eo(le or animals' no dwellings or gardens) instead' it seemed as tho#gh an
earth>#a+e had o&&#rred here e?a&tly as in the yo#th,s homeland) r#ins of b#ildings' bro+en bran&hes
and #(rooted trees' twisted fen&es and abandoned farming im(lements were strewn abo#t' and
s#ddenly he saw lying in the middle of a field a dead man in a horrible state of de&om(osition- The
yo#th felt rev#lsion and a to#&h of na#sea rose in his throat' for he had never before seen s#&h a thing-
Not even the dead man,s fa&e had been &overed and it was already ravaged by birds and by de&ay) the
yo#th gathered leaves and a few flowers and' with averted eyes' &overed the dead &o#ntenan&e-
An ine?(ressibly horrible and o((ressive smell h#ng warm and ines&a(able over the whole (lain-
Another &or(se lay near at hand in the grass en&ir&led by a flo&+ of ravens' and a horse witho#t a head'
and bones of men or animals' and all had been left e?(osed to the s#n' no one seemed to have tho#ght
of floral offerings and b#rial- The yo#th began to fear that an in&redible disaster m#st have +illed ea&h
and every (erson in this land) there were so many dead that he had to give #( (i&+ing flowers to &over
their fa&es- *#ll of dread' his eyes half &losed' he wandered on' and there (o#red in #(on him from all
sides &arrion sten&h and the smell of blood' and from a tho#sand (iles of r#ins and hea(s of dead there
welled mightier and mightier waves of #ns(ea+able misery and sorrow- The messenger believed he had
been &a#ght in a terrifying dream that was an admonition from the Heavenly Ones be&a#se his own
dead were still witho#t floral offerings and witho#t b#rial- Then he remembered what the mysterio#s
bird on the tem(le roof had said the night before' and he seemed on&e more to hear the harsh voi&e
asserting1 ,There are many worse things-,
Now he reali.ed that the bird had bro#ght him to another star and that everything his eyes saw was real
and tr#e- He re&alled the feeling with whi&h sometimes as a boy he had listened to frightening tales of
(rimeval times- This s(e&ial feeling he now e?(erien&ed again1 a sh#ddering horror' and behind the
horror a >#iet' ha((y ass#ran&e in his heart' for all this was infinitely remote and long (ast- Here
everything was li+e a horror story' this whole strange world of o#trage' &or(ses' and &arrion birds
seemed witho#t sense and witho#t &ontrol' s#b9e&t to in&om(rehensible laws' mad laws a&&ording to
whi&h the evil' the abs#rd' and the #gly always tri#m(hed instead of the bea#tif#l and good-
And then he &a#ght sight of a living man wal+ing a&ross the field' a farmer or a farm hand' and he ran
>#i&+ly towards him and &alled o#t- As the yo#th drew near' he was startled and his heart was filled
with &om(assion' for this farmer loo+ed frighteningly #gly and hardly at all li+e a &hild of the s#n- He
a((eared to be a selfish and disgr#ntled man' a man a&&#stomed to seeing only what was false and #gly
and evil' one who lived &onstantly in horrifying nightmares- In his eyes and in his whole fa&e and
being' there was no tra&e of serenity or +indness' no glimmer of gra&io#sness and tr#st' these sim(lest
and most nat#ral of virt#es seemed absent in this #nfort#nate-
B#t the yo#th (#lled himself together and with great friendliness a((roa&hed the fellow as one
disting#ished by misfort#ne' greeted him in brotherly fashion' and s(o+e to him with a smile- The #gly
one stood as tho#gh t#rned to stone' loo+ing with ama.ement o#t of great tro#bled eyes- His voi&e'
when he s(o+e' was harsh and #nm#si&al li+e the bellowing of &attle) nevertheless' he &o#ld not resist
the serenity and #ndemanding tr#stf#lness in the yo#th,s eyes- And when he had stared for a while at
the stranger' there bro+e over his r#de and tormented fa&e a +ind of smile or grin 8 #gly eno#gh b#t
gentle and ama.ed' li+e the first faint smile of a so#l reborn that has 9#st emerged from the lowest
regions of the earth- ,:hat do yo# want of meC, he as+ed-
In a&&ordan&e with the &#stom of his homeland' the yo#th re(lied1 FI than+ yo#' friend' and I beg yo# to
tell me whether there is any servi&e I &an do for yo#-,
:hen the farmer was silent' smiling in astonishment and embarrassment' the messenger said to him1
,Tell me' friend' what has ha((ened hereC :hat is this dreadf#l and horrifying thingC, And he gest#red
ro#nd abo#t with his hand-
The farmer had tro#ble #nderstanding' and when the messenger had re(eated his >#estion' he said1
,Have yo# never seen this beforeC This is war' this is a battlefield-, He (ointed to a (ile of bla&+ened
r#ins and &ried1 ,That was my ho#se', and when the stranger loo+ed with heart8felt sym(athy into the
farmer,s im(#re eyes' he lowered them and stared at the gro#nd-
,Haven,t yo# a +ingC, the yo#th went on to as+' and when the farmer said they had' he as+ed f#rther1
,Then where is heC, The fellow (ointed towards an en&am(ment that was 9#st visible' remote and tiny in
the distan&e- The messenger said farewell' (la&ing his hand on the man,s forehead' and de(arted- The
farmer' however' raised both hands to his forehead' shoo+ his heavy head in (er(le?ity' and stood for a
time staring after the stranger-
The latter ran and ran' (ast r#ins and horrors' #ntil he &ame to the en&am(ment- There were armed men
everywhere' standing or h#rrying abo#t) no one seemed to noti&e him' and he wal+ed between the men
and tents #ntil he &ame to the biggest and handsomest tent in the &am(' whi&h was the /ing,s tent- He
entered-
Inside' the /ing was sitting on a sim(le' low &o#&h' his mantle beside him' and behind him in dee(er
shadow &ro#&hed a servant who had fallen aslee(- The /ing sat bowed over' dee( in tho#ght- His fa&e
was bea#tif#l and sad' a sho&+ of grey hair h#ng over his s#n8tanned forehead' his sword lay in front of
him on the gro#nd- The yo#th greeted him with dee( reveren&e' as he wo#ld have greeted his own
/ing' and he stood waiting with arms &rossed on his breast #ntil the /ing &a#ght sight of him-
,:ho are yo#C, the /ing as+ed severely' drawing his dar+ brows together' b#t his glan&e &l#ng to the
(#re &alm feat#res of the stranger' and the yo#th loo+ed at him so tr#stingly and so intimately that the
/ing,s voi&e grew milder-
,I have seen yo# somewhere before', he said meditatively' ,or yo# loo+ li+e someone I +new in my
&hildhood-,
,I am a stranger', said the messenger-
,Then it was a dream', the /ing said softy- ,Bo# remind me of my mother- S(ea+ to me- @?(lain-,
The yo#th began1 ,A bird bro#ght me here- In my &o#ntry there was an earth>#a+e and so we wanted to
b#ry o#r dead and there were no flowers-,
,No flowersC, said the /ing-
,No' no more flowers at all- And it is an ill thing' is it not' if one has to b#ry a dead man and &annot
&elebrate a flower festival for him) for after all he m#st enter into his transformation with s(lendo#r and
9oy-,
Then s#ddenly the messenger remembered how many #nb#ried dead lay o#t there on that horrible field'
and he sto((ed s(ea+ing' and the /ing loo+ed at him and nodded and sighed heavily-
,I was on my way to o#r /ing to as+ him for many flowers', the messenger &ontin#ed- ,B#t when I was
in the tem(le in the mo#ntains' a great bird &ame and said that he wo#ld ta+e me to the /ing' and he
bro#ght me thro#gh the air to yo#- O dear /ing' it was the tem(le of an #n+nown deity on whose roof
the bird sat and there was a very strange symbol on the altar of this god1 a heart being devo#red by a
bird of (rey- B#t d#ring the night I had a &onversation with that great bird and now for the first time I
&an #nderstand his words' for he said that there was m#&h' m#&h more s#ffering and evil in the world
than I +new- And now I am here' and I have &rossed that h#ge field' and d#ring these ho#rs I have seen
infinite s#ffering and misfort#ne 8 oh' m#&h more than o#r most horrible tales &ontain- Now I have
&ome to yo#' O /ing' and I wo#ld li+e to as+ yo# whether I &an be of any servi&e to yo#-,
The /ing' who had listened with attention' tried to smile' b#t his bea#tif#l fa&e was so sad and
embittered that he &o#ld not smile-
,I than+ yo#', he said- ,Bo# &annot do me any servi&e- B#t yo# have (#t me in mind of my mother' and
for that I than+ yo#-,
The yo#th was tro#bled be&a#se the /ing &o#ld not smile- ,Bo# are so sad', he said to him- ,Is it be&a#se
of this warC,
,Bes', said the /ing-
The yo#th &o#ld not hel( brea+ing a r#le of &o#rtesy towards this heavily b#rdened and yet' as he felt'
noble man by as+ing1 ,B#t tell me' I besee&h yo#' why do yo# &arry on s#&h wars on yo#r starC :ho is
to blame for themC Are yo# yo#rself in (art res(onsibleC,
The /ing seemed angered at this a#da&ity and for a time stared at the messenger- B#t he &o#ld not
&ontin#e to meet with his dar+ ga.e the bright and g#ileless eyes of the stranger-
,Bo# are a &hild', said the /ing' ,and there are things yo# &annot #nderstand- :ar is no one,s fa#lt' it
o&&#rs of itself' li+e storm and lightning' and all of #s who have to fight wars' we are not their
originators' we are only their vi&tims-,
,Then no do#bt yo# die very easilyC, the yo#th as+ed- ,:ith #s at home' to be s#re' death is not greatly
feared' and most (eo(le a((roa&h the transformation willingly and ha((ily) b#t never wo#ld anyone
dare to +ill another- On yo#r star it m#st be different-,
The /ing shoo+ his head- ,It is tr#e that +illing is not rare among #s', he said' ,b#t we &onsider it the
worst of &rimes- Only in war is it allowed be&a#se in war no one +ills for his own advantage' o#t of
hatred or envy' b#t all do only what so&iety demands of them- Bo# are mista+en' however' if yo#
believe that we die easily- If yo# loo+ into the fa&es of o#r dead' yo# will see- They die hard' they die
hard and #nre&on&iled-,
The yo#th listened to all this in astonishment at the madness and diffi&#lty of the (eo(le,s way of life
on this star- He wo#ld have li+ed to as+ many more >#estions' b#t he +new with &ertainty that he wo#ld
never #nderstand the whole &onte?t of these dar+ and terrifying things) indeed' he felt no real wish to
#nderstand them- @ither these (itiable &reat#res belonged to a lower order' were still witho#t the bright
gods and were r#led by demons' or some #ni>#e mis&han&e' some horrid error' (revailed on this star-
And it seemed to him altogether too (ainf#l and &r#el to go on >#estioning this +ing' &om(elling him to
answers and &onfessions whi&h &o#ld only be bitterly h#miliating- These (eo(le who lived in the dar+
dread of death and yet slew one another in masses' whose fa&es were &om(osed with s#&h ignoble
&oarseness as that of the farmer or with s#&h dee( and terrible sorrow as that of the /ing' they &a#sed
him (ain' and yet in their dist#rbing and shaming fashion they seemed to him so strange as to be almost
la#ghable' la#ghable and silly- B#t there was one >#estion he &o#ld not re(ress- If these (oor so#ls were
retarded beings' belated &hildren' sons of a latter8day o#t&ast star' if their lives (assed li+e a &onv#lsive
sh#dder and ended in sla#ghter' if they left their dead lying in the fields' or even (erha(s ate them 8 for
there had been tal+ of that in some of those horror stories of (rimeval times 8 then nevertheless there
m#st be some intimation of the f#t#re' a dream of the gods' something li+e the seed of so#l latent in
them) otherwise' this whole #nbea#tif#l world wo#ld indeed be b#t a meaningless error-
,*orgive me' /ing', the yo#th said ingratiatingly' ,forgive me if I (#t one more >#estion to yo# before
leaving yo#r asto#nding &o#ntry-,
,Go ahead and as+', the /ing said' for to him this stranger seemed a (arado?' in many ways he seemed a
&#ltivated' mat#re' and in&redibly enlightened s(irit' b#t in others li+e a small &hild whom one m#st
s(are and not ta+e >#ite serio#sly- ,O stranger /ing', the messenger now said' ,yo# have made me sad-
Behold' I &ome from another &o#ntry' and the great bird on the tem(le roof was right1 here with yo#
there is infinitely more misery than I &o#ld ever have imagined) a dream of terror' so yo#r life seems to
me' and I do not +now whether yo# are r#led by gods or demons- Behold' O /ing' with #s there is a
legend' and #ntil now I have &onsidered it mythi&al nonsense' em(ty smo+e' it is the legend that on&e
with #s too there were s#&h things as war and m#rder and des(air- These terrifying words whi&h have
long been #n+nown in o#r lang#age are to be fo#nd in the old storyboo+s and to #s they so#nd horrible
and also a little ridi&#lo#s- Today I have learned that they are all tr#e' and I see yo# and yo#r (eo(le
doing and s#ffering things that I +new only from the dreadf#l tales of anti>#ity- B#t now tell me1 have
yo# not in yo#r so#ls an intimation that yo# are not doing what is rightC Have yo# not a longing for
bright' serene gods' for #nderstanding' for &heerf#l leaders and mentorsC At night do yo# never dream
of a different and more bea#tif#l life in whi&h no one wants anything save for the &ommon goodC
:here reason and order (revail' where (eo(le always meet one another with &heerf#lness and
&onsiderationC Have yo# never had the tho#ght that the world might be a single whole and that it might
be benefi&ent and healing to rely on this (resentiment and reveren&e the whole and serve it with loveC
Do yo# +now nothing of what we at home &all m#si&' and the servi&e of God' and blessednessC,
As he listened to these words' the /ing had bowed his head- Now he raised it' and his fa&e had
&hanged' it shone with the faint shimmer of a smile and tears stood in his eyes-
,Bea#tif#l boy', said the /ing' ,I do not rightly +now whether yo# are a &hild or a wise man or (erha(s
an immortal- B#t I &an tell yo# that we harbo#r within o#r so#ls all those things of whi&h yo# s(ea+-
:e have a (resentiment of ha((iness' of freedom' of the gods- :e have a legend abo#t a wise man of
long ago who (er&eived the #nity of the world as the harmonio#s m#si& of the heavenly s(heres- Does
that answer yo#C Loo+ yo#' (erha(s yo# are a saint from the beyond' or yo# may even be God himself'
even so there is no ha((iness in yo#r heart' no (ower' no will of whi&h there is not a (resentiment' a
refle&tion' a remote shadow in o#r hearts too-,
And s#ddenly he drew himself #( to his f#ll height' and the yo#th stood ama.ed' for the /ing,s fa&e for
a moment was bathed in a bright' #nshadowed smile li+e the glow of morning-
,Go now', he &ried to the messenger' ,go now and leave #s to o#r wars and o#r m#rdersA Bo# have made
my heart soft' yo# have (#t me in mind of my mother' eno#gh' eno#gh of this' dear bea#tif#l boy- Go
now' flee before the ne?t battle beginsA I shall thin+ of yo# when blood flows and &ities b#rn' and I will
thin+ of the world as a whole from whi&h even o#r blindness and o#r rage and o#r r#thlessness &annot
&#t #s off- *arewell' and give my greetings to yo#r star and my greetings to that deity whose symbol is
a heart being devo#red by a birdA I +now so well that heart and that bird- And note this' my bea#tif#l
friend from afar1 when yo# thin+ of yo#r friend' when yo# thin+ of the (oor /ing embroiled in war' do
not thin+ of him sitting on his &o#&h (l#nged in misery' b#t rather thin+ of him as he stood with tears in
his eyes and blood on his hands and smiledA,
The /ing raised the fla( of the tent with his own hand' not wa+ing his servant' and let the stranger
de(art- The yo#th' (l#nged in new tho#ghts' h#rried ba&+ a&ross the (lain' and in the evening s#nshine
he saw on the hori.on a great &ity in flames' and he made his way over dead men and the rotting
&ar&asses of horses #ntil it was dar+ and he had rea&hed the edge of the forest-
There the great bird was already des&ending from the &lo#ds' it too+ him on its wings and flew ba&+
thro#gh the night as silently and softly as the flight of an owl-
:hen the yo#th awo+e from an #n>#iet slee(' he was lying in the little tem(le in the mo#ntains' and
before the tem(le in the wet grass stood his horse' whinnying at the dawn- B#t abo#t the great bird and
abo#t his 9o#rney to another star' abo#t the /ing and abo#t the battlefield' he no longer remembered
anything at all- All that remained was a shadow in his so#l' a little obs&#re (ain as from a small thorn'
the way hel(less sym(athy h#rts' and a little #nsatisfied wish s#&h as sometimes torments #s in dreams
#ntil finally we en&o#nter the (erson to whom we se&retly long to show o#r love' whose 9oy we
se&retly long to share' whose smile we se&retly long to see-
The messenger mo#nted his horse and rode all day long and &ame to the &a(ital and into the (resen&e
of his /ing' and he (roved to be the right messenger- *or the /ing re&eived him with the greeting of
gra&e by to#&hing his forehead and e?&laiming1 ,Bo#r eyes have s(o+en to my heart' and my heart has
assented- Bo#r re>#est is granted before I have so m#&h as heard it-,
*orthwith the messenger re&eived a &harter from the /ing (ro&laiming that all the flowers of the whole
&o#ntry were at his dis(osal' and &om(anions and o#triders and servants 9oined him' and horses and
wagons a((eared' and when after a few days he made his way aro#nd the mo#ntains' ret#rning home
on the level highway to his (rovin&e and his town' he was a&&om(anied by wagons and &arts and
ham(ers' horses and don+eys' all bearing the most bea#tif#l flowers from the gardens and hot8ho#ses
of the north' and there were eno#gh flowers to wreathe the bodies of the dead and ri&hly adorn their
graves as well as to (lant as memorial on ea&h grave a flower' a b#sh' and a yo#ng fr#it tree' as &#stom
demands- And the (ain for his friend and his favo#rite horse left him and was re(la&ed by a tran>#il'
ha((y memory when he had adorned them too and b#ried them and over their graves had (lanted two
flowers' two b#shes' and two fr#it trees-
After he had th#s (erformed his d#ties and ass#aged his heart' the memory of that 9o#rney thro#gh the
night began to stir in his mind' and he beso#ght those &losest to him for a day of solit#de' and sat #nder
the meditation tree for a day and a night' and s(read o#t in tho#ght' &lear and #nwrin+led' the (i&t#res
of what had ha((ened to him on that alien star- As a res#lt he a((roa&hed the @ldest one day' begged
him for a (rivate &onversation' and told him all-
The @ldest gave ear' sat (l#nged in tho#ght' and finally as+ed1 ,$y friend' did yo# see all this with yo#r
eyes or was it a dreamC,
,I do not +now', said the yo#th- ,I believe in fa&t that it may have been a dream- However' with yo#r
ind#lgen&e' may it be said there seems hardly any differen&e if these ha((enings were (resented in
a&t#ality to my senses- A shadow of sadness has remained within me' and in the midst of 9oy in life a
&hilling wind blows #(on me from that distant star- Therefore' I as+ yo#' reverend sir' what shall I doC,
,Tomorrow go again to the mo#ntains', said the @ldest' ,and to the (la&e where yo# fo#nd the tem(le-
The symbol of that god of whom I have never heard seems strange to me' and it may well be that he is
a god from another star- On the other hand' (erha(s that tem(le and its god are so old that they belong
to the times of o#r earliest forebears' to those long8ago days when it is said there were still wea(ons'
horror' and the fear of death among #s- Go to that tem(le' my friend' and ma+e an offering there of
flowers' honey' and song-,
The yo#th s(o+e his than+s and followed the dire&tions of the @ldest- He too+ a bowl of fine honey
s#&h as is set before the g#ests of hono#r at the first *estival of the Bees in early s#mmer' and he
&arried his l#te with him- In the mo#ntains he fo#nd the (la&e where he had on&e (i&+ed the bl#e
bellflower' and he fo#nd the stee( ro&+y mo#ntain (ath thro#gh the woods where he had led his horse-
B#t he &o#ld not again dis&over the (la&e of the tem(le or the tem(le itself' or the bla&+ sa&rifi&ial
stone' the wooden &ol#mns' the roof or the great bird on the roof' not that day and not the ne?t day' and
no one &o#ld tell him of any s#&h tem(le as he des&ribed-
So he t#rned ba&+ towards home and when he &ame to the San&t#ary of Loving 2emembran&e' he went
in and offered #( the honey' sang a song to the a&&om(animent of his l#te' and &ommended to the Deity
of Loving 2emembran&e the dream he had had' the tem(le and the bird' the (oor farmer' the dead on
the battlefield' and most es(e&ially the /ing in his war tent- Thereafter' he went home lightened in
heart' h#ng #( on the wall of his room the symbol of the #nity of the worlds' re&#(erated in dee( slee(
from the e?(erien&es of the (ast days' and ne?t morning began to hel( his neighbo#rs' who were b#sy
in garden and field eradi&ating the last tra&es of the earth>#a+e' singing as they wor+ed-
The Hard "assage
Beside the dar+ o(ening in the &liff at the entran&e to the gorge I stood hesitating' and t#rned to loo+
ba&+-
The s#n was shining in that (leasant green world' above the meadows brownish grass blossoms waved
and fli&+ered- It was good to be o#t there in warmth and well8loved ease' o#t where one,s so#l h#mmed
dee( and satisfied li+e a hairy b#mblebee in the heavy fragran&e and light) (erha(s I was a fool to want
to leave all this and &limb #( into the mo#ntain range-
$y g#ide to#&hed me gently on the arm- I tore my eyes away from the beloved lands&a(e' the way a
man for&ibly frees himself from a warm bath- Now I saw the gorge lying in s#nless dar+ness' a little
bla&+ stream &re(t o#t of the &left' (ale grass grew in small t#fts on its ban+' in its bed lay stones that it
had t#mbled there' stones of all shades' (ale and dead li+e the bones of &reat#res that had died long
ago-
,:e,ll ta+e a rest', I said to the g#ide-
He smiled ind#lgently' and we sat down- It was &ool' and o#t of the ro&+y entran&e flowed a gentle
stream of dar+' stone8&old air-
Nasty' nasty to go this wayA Nasty to for&e oneself thro#gh this &heerless ro&+y entran&e' to stride
a&ross this &old broo+' to &limb #( in dar+ness into this narrow ragged gorgeA
,The way loo+s horrible', I said in hesitation-
As tho#gh from the dying embers of a fire' a strong #nbelievable #nreasoning ho(e flared #( within
me' the ho(e that we &o#ld (erha(s still t#rn ba&+' that my g#ide might even now allow himself to be
(ers#aded' that we might be s(ared all this- Bes' why not' reallyC :asn,t it a tho#sand times more
bea#tif#l in the (la&e we had 9#st leftC Did not life there flow ri&her' warmer' more en&hantingC And
wasn,t I a h#man being' a &hildli+e' short8lived &reat#re with a right to some share of ha((iness' to a
&osy &orner in the s#n' to the sight of bl#e s+y and flowersC
No' I wanted to stay where I was- I had no wish to (lay the hero and martyrA I wo#ld be &ontent all my
life if I were allowed to stay in the valley and in the s#n-
Already I was beginning to shiver) it was im(ossible to linger here for long-
,Bo#,re shivering', said the g#ide- ,:e had better move on-,
There#(on he stood #( and for a moment stret&hed to his f#ll height and loo+ed down at me with a
smile) there was neither derision nor sym(athy in the smile' neither harshness nor &om(assion- There
was nothing there b#t #nderstanding' nothing b#t +nowledge- That smile said1 ,I +now yo#- I +now yo#r
fear and how yo# feel' and I have by no means forgotten yo#r boastings of yesterday and the day
before- @very rabbity dodge of &owardi&e yo#r so#l is now ind#lging in' every flirtatio#s glan&e at the
lovely s#nshine o#t there is well +nown and familiar to me before yo# a&t it o#t-,
:ith this smile the g#ide loo+ed at me and too+ the first stride into the dar+ ro&+y &hasm ahead of #s'
and I hated him and loved him as a &ondemned man hates and loves the a?e above his ne&+- Above all'
I hated and des(ised his +nowledge' his leadershi( and &almness' his la&+ of amiable wea+nesses' and I
hated everything in myself that agreed with him' that a((roved him' that wanted to be li+e him and to
follow him-
Already he had ta+en a n#mber of ste(s' wal+ing on the stones thro#gh the bla&+ broo+' and was 9#st
on the (oint of disa((earing from sight aro#nd the first bend-
,Sto(A, I &ried' so f#ll of fear that I was &om(elled to thin+ at the same time1 If this were a dream' then
at this very moment my terror wo#ld dissolve it and I wo#ld wa+e #(- ,Sto(A, I &ried- ,I &annot do it' I
am not yet ready-,
The g#ide sto((ed and loo+ed a&ross at me in silen&e' witho#t re(roa&h' b#t with that dreadf#l
#nderstanding of his' with that #nbearable +nowledge and (resentiment' that having &om(letely8
#nderstood8in8advan&e-
,:o#ld yo# rather that we t#rn ba&+C, he as+ed' and he had not finished saying the last word when I
+new' f#ll of rebellion' that I wo#ld say no' that I wo#ld have to say no- And at the same time'
everything long familiar' loved' and tr#sted within me &ried in des(eration1 ,Say yes' say yesA, and the
whole world and my homeland were &hained li+e an iron ball to my leg-
I wanted to sho#t yes' tho#gh I +new very well that I &o#ld not do it-
Then with o#tstret&hed arm the g#ide (ointed ba&+ into the valley' and I t#rned aro#nd on&e more
towards that well8loved region- And now what I saw was the most (ainf#l thing that &o#ld have
ha((ened to me1 I saw my beloved valleys and fields lying (ale and l#streless #nder a white enfeebled
s#n' the &olo#rs &lashed' false and shrill' the shadows were a r#sty bla&+ and witho#t magi&' and the
heart had been &#t o#t of everything' everything' the &harm and fragran&e were gone 8 everything
smelled and tasted of things long sin&e over8ind#lged in to the (oint of na#sea- Oh' how well I +new all
this' how I feared and hated this horrid tri&+ of the g#ide' this degradation of what was dear and
(leasant to me' &a#sing the sa( and s(irit to drain o#t of it' falsifying the smells and se&retly (oisoning
the &olo#rsA Oh' I +new this) what was wine b#t yesterday' today was vinegar- And the vinegar wo#ld
never be&ome wine again- Never again-
I was silent and sad as I followed the g#ide- He was' of &o#rse' right' now as always- It was a good
thing at least that he remained visibly with me instead 8 as so often ha((ened at moments of de&ision 8
of disa((earing s#ddenly and leaving me alone' alone with that alien voi&e inside my breast into whi&h
at s#&h times he transformed himself-
I was silent' b#t my heart &ried (assionately1 ,Only stay' I will ass#redly followA,
The stones in the broo+ were horribly sli((ery) it was tiring and di..ying to wal+ li+e this' ste( by ste(
on narrow wet stones that sli((ed away and shran+ #nder one,s feet- At the same time the (ath in the
broo+ began to rise stee(ly and the dar+ &liff walls drew &loser together' they swelled omino#sly and
every &orner showed the mali&io#s intention of &lam(ing down behind #s and &#tting off o#r retreat
forever- Over wart8&overed yellow ro&+s ran a vis&o#s slimy sheet of water- No s+y above o#r heads'
neither &lo#ds nor bl#e-
I wal+ed and wal+ed' following my g#ide and often &losing my eyes in fear and disg#st- Then there
was a dar+ flower growing beside the (ath' velvety bla&+ with an air of sadness- It was bea#tif#l and
s(o+e to me familiarly' b#t my g#ide wal+ed faster and I felt that if I lingered for a single moment' if I
bestowed so m#&h as one more glan&e on that sad' velvety eye' then my de(ression and ho(eless gloom
wo#ld be&ome overwhelming and #nend#rable' and my s(irit wo#ld remain forever im(risoned in that
mo&+ing region of senselessness and madness-
:et and dirty' I &re(t on' and as the dam( walls &ame &loser together above #s my g#ide began to sing
his old &hant of &onsolation- In his strong &lear yo#thf#l voi&e he sang in time to ea&h stride1 ,I will' I
will' I willA, I +new very well that he wanted to en&o#rage me and s(#r me on' he wanted to divert me
from the hideo#s toil and ho(elessness of this hellish 9o#rney- I +new that he was waiting for me to
&hime in with his singsong- B#t I ref#sed to do it' I wo#ld not grant him that vi&tory- :as I in any mood
to singC And wasn,t I a h#man being' a (oor sim(le fellow who in defian&e of his own heart had been
drawn into sit#ations and deeds whi&h God &o#ld not e?(e&t of himC :ere not every forget8me8not and
every (in+ allowed to stay where they had grown along the broo+' to bloom and wither after their own
fashionC
,I will' I will' I willA, the g#ide sang #ninterr#(tedly- Oh' if only I had been able to t#rn ba&+A B#t with
my g#ide,s s+ilf#l hel( I had long sin&e &lambered over walls and abysses a&ross whi&h there was no
(ossible ret#rn- Tears b#rned in my throat b#t I dared not wee(' that least of all- And so defiantly and
lo#dly I 9oined in the g#ide,s song' in the same rhythm and tone b#t not with his words) instead I sang
determinedly1 ,I m#st' I m#st' I m#stA, B#t it was not easy to sing and &limb at the same time' soon I lost
my breath and was for&ed to fall silent' gas(ing- B#t he went on singing #nwearied1 ,I will' I will' I
will', and in time he &om(elled me after all to 9oin in singing his words- Now the &limbing was easier
and I no longer felt #nder &om(#lsion' in fa&t I wished to go on' and as for weariness from singing'
there was no f#rther tra&e of that-
Then there was a brightness inside me and as this in&reased' the smooth &liff re&eded too' be&ame drier'
be&ame +inder' often aided the sli((ing foot' and above all more and more of the &lear bl#e heavens
a((eared' li+e a little bl#e stream between ro&+y ban+s' and soon li+e a little bl#e la+e that grew longer
and wider-
I tried to e?ert my will more intensely and more (rofo#ndly' and the heavenly la+e &ontin#ed to grow
and the (ath be&ame more (ra&ti&able' yes' at times I h#rried #nen&#mbered over long stret&hes' easily
+ee(ing (a&e with my g#ide- And then #ne?(e&tedly I saw the s#mmit &lose above #s' stee( and
glittering in the shining s#nny air-
A short distan&e below the s#mmit we &rawled o#t of the narrow &revasse' s#n assailed my da..led
eyes' and when I o(ened them again my +nees shoo+ with dread' for I fo#nd myself standing free and
witho#t s#((ort on a sheer ridge) ro#nd abo#t were infinite s(a&e and terrifying bl#e de(ths' only the
narrow s#mmit towered above #s thin as a ladder- B#t s+y and s#n were there on&e more' and so we
&lambered #( that last terrifying (it&h as well' ste( by ste(' with &om(ressed li(s and +notted brows-
And stood on the s#mmit' trivial fig#res on the s#n8warmed ro&+ in the shar(' bitingly thin air-
That was a strange mo#ntain and a strange s#mmitA :e had rea&hed the to( by &limbing over
&om(letely na+ed walls of stone' and on that s#mmit there grew o#t of the stone a tree' a st#rdy s>#at
tree with several short (owerf#l bran&hes- There it stood' in&on&eivably lonely and strange' hard and
#nyielding in the ro&+' with the &ool bl#e of heaven between its bran&hes- And at the to( of this tree sat
a bla&+ bird harshly singing-
G#iet dream of brief re(ose above the world' the s#n bla.ed' the ro&+ glowed' the tree rose #nyielding'
the bird sang harshly- Its harsh song signified1 @ternity' @ternityA The bla&+ bird sang' and its blan+
hard eye stared at #s li+e a bla&+ &rystal- Hard to bear was its ga.e' hard to bear its song' and frightf#l
above all were the loneliness and em(tiness of that (la&e' the e?(anse of the barren heavens- To die was
in&on&eivable bliss' to stay there nameless (ain- Something m#st ha((en' at on&e' instantly) otherwise'
we and the world wo#ld t#rn to stone from sheer horror- I felt the event wafted towards #s hot and
o((ressive li+e a (#ff of wind before a storm- I felt it fli&+ering over my body and so#l li+e a b#rning
fever- It threatened' it was &oming' it was there-
S#ddenly the bird whirled from its bo#gh' (l#nged headlong into s(a&e-
:ith a lea( my g#ide dived into the bl#e' fell towards the flashing heavens' flew away-
Now the wave of fate had rea&hed its (ea+' now it tore away my heart' now it bro+e in silen&e-
And already I was falling' I (l#nged' lea(ed' I flew) wra((ed in a &old vorte?' I shot' blissf#l and
(al(itating with e&stati& (ain' down thro#gh infinity to the mother,s breast-
A Dream Se>#en&e
It seemed to me that I had already s(ent a vast amo#nt of t#rgid' #n(rofitable time in that st#ffy salon
thro#gh whose northern windows shone the false sea and the imitation fiords' and where nothing
attra&ted or held my attention save the (resen&e of the bea#tif#l' s#s(e&t lady whom I too+ to be a
sinner- In vain I longed to have 9#st one good loo+ at her fa&e- That fa&e floated dimly amid loose dar+
hair' a &lo#d of sweet (allor and nothing more- "ossibly her eyes were dar+ brown' I felt some inner
reason to e?(e&t that) b#t if so her eyes wo#ld not mat&h the fa&e I was trying to read into that
indeterminate (allor' whose sha(e I +new lay b#ried in dee(' ina&&essible levels of my memory-
*inally something ha((ened- The two yo#ng men entered- They greeted the lady with elaborate
&o#rtesy and were introd#&ed to me- $on+eys' I tho#ght' and was annoyed at myself be&a#se the
(retty' stylish &#t and fit of the reddish8brown 9a&+et one of them was wearing filled me with shame
and envy- A horrible feeling of envy towards the irre(roa&hable' #nabashed smilerA ,"#ll yo#rself
togetherA, I &ommanded inwardly- The two yo#ng men rea&hed indifferently for my e?tended hand 8
why had I offered itC 8 wearing derisive smiles-
Then I reali.ed that something was wrong abo#t me and felt a dist#rbing &hill &ree(ing #( my legs- I
glan&ed down and grew (ale on seeing that I stood in my sto&+ing feet' shoeless- Again and again these
shabby' miserable' sordid fr#strations and disadvantagesA It never ha((ened to others that they
a((eared na+ed or half na+ed in salons before a &om(any of the irre(roa&hably &orre&tA Disheartened' I
tried at least to &on&eal my left foot with my right) as I did' my eyes strayed thro#gh the window and I
saw the stee( wild bl#e o&ean &liffs threatening with false and sinister &olo#rs and demoni& intent-
:orried and see+ing hel(' I loo+ed at the two strangers' f#ll of hatred for these (eo(le and f#ll of a
greater hatred for myself D nothing t#rned o#t right for me' that was the tro#ble- And why did I feel
res(onsible for that st#(id seaC :ell' if that was the way I felt' then I was res(onsible- Besee&hingly I
loo+ed the reddish8brown one in the fa&e' his &hee+s shone with health and &aref#l grooming' and I
+new (erfe&tly well that I was e?(osing myself to no (#r(ose' that he &o#ld not be infl#en&ed-
At that moment he noti&ed my feet in their &oarse dar+8green so&+s 8 oh' I &o#ld still be than+f#l there
were no holes in them 8 and smiled disagreeably- He n#dged his &omrade and (ointed at my feet- The
other' too' grinned in derision-
,5#st loo+ at the seal, I sho#ted' gest#ring towards the window-
The man in the reddish8brown 9a&+et shr#gged his sho#lders) it did not o&&#r to him to so m#&h as t#rn
towards the window' and he said something to the other whi&h I only half #nderstood' b#t it was aimed
at me and had to do with fellows in sto&+ing feet who really o#ght not to be tolerated in s#&h a salon-
As I listened' the word ,salon, again had for me' as it had in my &hildhood' the half8sed#&tive' half8
meretri&io#s ring of worldly distin&tion-
%lose to tears' I bent over to see whether anything &o#ld be done abo#t my feet' and now (er&eived that
they had sli((ed o#t of loose ho#se shoes) at least a very big soft dar+8red bedroom sli((er lay behind
me on the floor- I too+ it in my hand #n&ertainly' holding it by the heel' still strongly in&lined to wee(-
It sli((ed away from me' I &a#ght it as it fell 8 meanwhile' it had grown even larger 8 and now I held it
by the toe-
All at on&e I had a feeling of inner release and reali.ed the great val#e of the sli((er' whi&h was
vibrating a little in my hand' weighted down by its heavy heel- How s(lendid to have s#&h a lim( red
shoe' so soft and heavyA @?(erimentally I sw#ng it a few times thro#gh the air' this was deli&io#s and
flooded me with e&stasy to the roots of my hair- A &l#b' a bla&+9a&+' was nothing in &om(arison with
my great shoe- %al.iglione was the Italian name I &alled it-
:hen I gave the reddish8brown one a first (layf#l blow on the head with %al.iglione' the yo#ng
irre(roa&hable fell reeling to the divan' and the others and the room and the dreadf#l sea lost all their
(ower over me- I was big and strong' I was free' and at the se&ond blow to the reddish8brown one,s
head there was no longer any &ontest' there was no more need for demeaning self8defen&e in my
a&tions b#t sim(le e?#ltation and free lordly whim- Nor did I now hate my van>#ished foe in the least' I
fo#nd him interesting' he was (re&io#s and dear to me' after all I was his master and his &reator- *or
every good blow of my strange shoe8&#dgel sha(ed that (rimitive and a(eli+e head' forged it' reb#ilt it'
formed it) with every &onstr#&tive im(a&t it grew more attra&tive' handsomer' finer' be&ame my
&reat#re and my wor+' a thing that satisfied me and that I loved- :ith a final e?(ert bla&+smith,s blow I
flattened the (ointed o&&i(#t 9#st eno#gh- He was finished- He than+ed me and stro+ed my hand- ,It,s all
right', I said' waving to him- He &rossed his hands over his breast and said obse>#io#sly1 ,$y name is
"a#l-,
$y breast swelled with a marvello#s feeling of (ower' a feeling that e?(anded the s(a&e abo#t me) the
room 8 no more tal+ of ,salon,A 8 shrivelled with shame and &re(t em(tily away- I stood beside the sea-
The sea was bl#e8bla&+' steel &lo#ds (ressed down #(on the sombre mo#ntains' in the fiords the dar+
water boiled #( foaming' storm s>#alls strayed in &ir&les' &om(#lsive and terrifying- I glan&ed #( and
raised my hand to signal that the storm &o#ld begin- A bolt of lightning bright and &old e?(loded o#t of
the harsh bl#e' a warm ty(hoon des&ended howling' t#m#lt#o#s grey forms streamed a(art in the
heavens li+e veined marble- H#m(ba&+ed waves rose terrifyingly from the tormented sea' the storm
tore s(indrift from their to(s and stinging wis(s of foam and whi((ed them in my fa&e- The ben#mbed
bla&+ mo#ntains tore o(en eyes f#ll of horror- Their silent &owering together rang o#t li+e a
s#((li&ation-
In the midst of the magnifi&ent &harge of the storm' mo#nted on giganti&' ghostly horses' a timid voi&e
s(o+e &lose to me- Oh' I had not forgotten yo#' (ale lady of the long bla&+ hair- I bent over to her and
she s(o+e to me &hildishly 8 the sea was &oming' one &o#ld not stay there- I was to#&hed and &ontin#ed
to loo+ at the gentle sinner' her fa&e was only a >#iet (allor amid the en&ir&ling twilight of her hair'
then the &hiding waves were already stri+ing at my +nees and at my breast' and the sinner floated
hel(less and silent on the rising waters- I la#ghed a little' (#t my arm #nder her +nees' and raised her #(
to me- This too was bea#tif#l and liberating' the woman was strangely light and small' f#ll of fresh
warmth and her eyes were sin&ere' tr#sting' and alarmed' and I saw that she was no sinner at all nor any
distant' in&om(rehensible lady- No sins' no mystery) she was 9#st a &hild-
O#t of the waves and a&ross the ro&+s I &arried her and thro#gh the rain8dar+ened' royally grieving
(ar+' where the storm &o#ld not rea&h and where from the bowed &rowns of an&ient trees sim(le' softly
h#man bea#ty s(o+e' (#re (oems and sym(honies' a world of noble intimations and &harmingly
&ivili.ed delights' en&hanting trees (ainted by %orot and noble r#sti& woodwind m#si& by S&h#bert'
whi&h s#btly tem(ted me to the beloved tem(le in a momentary #(s#rge of nostalgia- B#t in vain) the
world has many voi&es' and the so#l has its ho#rs and its moments for everything-
God +nows how the sinner' the (ale woman' the &hild' too+ her leave and disa((eared from sight-
There was an o#tside stairway of stone' there was an entran&e gate' there were servants (resent' all dim
and &lo#dy as tho#gh behind transl#&ent glass' and something else even more ins#bstantial' even more
&lo#dy' fig#res blown there by the wind) a note of &ens#re and re(roa&h dire&ted against me aro#sed
my ire at that storm of shadows- All disa((eared e?&e(t the form of "a#l' my friend and son "a#l' and
in his feat#res was revealed and hidden a fa&e #nnamable and yet infinitely familiar' the fa&e of a
s&hoolmate' the (rimeval legendary fa&e of a n#rsemaid' &om(osed of the good no#rishing half8
memories of the fab#lo#s earliest years-
Good heart8&omforting dar+ness' warm &radle of the so#l and lost homeland' o(ens before me' time of
in&hoate being' the first #n&ertain >#iverings above the fo#ntain,s so#r&e' beneath whi&h slee( an&ient
times with their dreams of tro(i&al forests- Do b#t feel yo#r way' so#l' do b#t wander' (l#nge blindly
into the ri&h bath of g#iltless twilight desiresA I +now yo#' timid so#l' nothing is more ne&essary to yo#'
nothing is so m#&h food' drin+' and slee( for yo#' as the ret#rn to yo#r beginnings- There the waves
roar aro#nd yo# and yo# are a wave' the forest r#stles and yo# are the forest' there is no o#ter' no inner
any more' yo# fly' a bird in the air' yo# swim' a fish in the sea' yo# breathe in light and are light' taste
dar+ness and are dar+ness- :e wander' so#l' we swim and fly and smile and' with deli&ate ghostly
fingers' we retie the torn filaments and blissf#lly #nite the dis9ointed harmonies- :e no longer see+
God- :e are God- :e are the world- :e +ill and die along with others' we &reate and are res#rre&ted
with o#r dreams- O#r finest dream' that is the bl#e s+y' o#r finest dream' that is the sea' o#r finest
dream' that is the starlit night' and is the fish and is the bright ha((y light and bright ha((y so#nds 8
everything is o#r dream' ea&h is o#r finest dream- :e have 9#st died and be&ome earth- :e have 9#st
dis&overed la#ghter- :e have 9#st arranged a &onstellation-
Eoi&es reso#nd and ea&h is the voi&e of o#r mother- Trees r#stle' and ea&h one of them r#stled above
o#r &radle- 2oads diverge in a star (attern and ea&h road leads towards home-
The one who had &alled himself "a#l' my &reat#re and my friend' was there again and had be&ome as
old as I was- He resembled a friend of my yo#th' b#t I did not +now whi&h one and therefore I was a
little #neasy with him and showed him a &ertain &o#rtesy- *rom this he drew (ower- The world no
longer obeyed me' it obeyed him and therefore everything that had (re&eded had disa((eared and
&olla(sed in &raven im(robability' (#t to shame by him who governed now-
:e were in a s>#are' the (la&e was &alled "aris' and in front of me an iron girder towered into the air) it
was a ladder and on both sides were small iron r#ngs to whi&h one &o#ld hold with one,s hands and on
whi&h one &o#ld &limb with one,s feet- Sin&e "a#l desired it' I &limbed first and he beside me on an
identi&al ladder- :hen we had &limbed as high as a ho#se or a very high tree' I began to feel frightened-
I loo+ed over at "a#l' he felt no fear b#t he re&ogni.ed my own and smiled-
*or the s(a&e of a breath while he smiled and I stared at him' I was very &lose to re&ogni.ing his fa&e
and remembering his name' a fiss#re in the (ast o(ened and s(lit down to my s&hooldays' ba&+ to the
time when I was twelve years old' life,s most glorio#s (eriod when everything was f#ll of fragran&e'
everything was &ongenial' everything was gilded with an edible smell of fresh bread and an
into?i&ating shimmer of advent#re 85es#s was twelve years old when he shamed the s&ribes in the
tem(le' at twelve we have all shamed o#r s&ribes and tea&hers' have been smarter than they' more
gifted than they' braver than they- $emories and images (ressed in #(on me- *orgotten s&hoolboo+s'
detention d#ring the noon ho#r' a bird +illed with a slingshot' a &oat (o&+et sti&+ily filled with stolen
(l#ms' wild' boyish s(lashings in the swimming hole' torn S#nday tro#sers and torments of &ons&ien&e'
ardent (rayers at night abo#t earthly (roblems' marvello#s heroi& feelings of magnifi&en&e on reading
verses by S&hiller-
It was only a se&ond,s lightning flash' avidly h#rrying (i&t#re se>#en&es witho#t fo&#s- In the ne?t
instant "a#l,s fa&e stared at me again' tormentingly half re&ogni.ed- I was no longer s#re of my age'
(ossibly we were boys- *arther and farther below the narrow r#ngs of o#r ladders lay the mass of
streets that was &alled "aris- B#t when we were higher than any tower' o#r iron girders &ame to an end
and (roved to be s#rmo#nted' ea&h of them' by a hori.ontal board' a min#s&#le (latform- It seemed
im(ossible to get on to( of these- B#t "a#l did it negligently' and I had to do it too-
On&e on to( I laid myself flat on the board and loo+ed down over the edge as tho#gh from a high little
&lo#d- $y glan&e fell li+e a stone into em(tiness and fo#nd no goal- Then my &omrade (ointed with his
hand and I be&ame fas&inated by a marvello#s sight that hovered in mid8air- There' above a broad
aven#e at the level of the highest roofs b#t immensely far below #s' I saw a foreign8loo+ing &om(any)
they seemed to be high8wire dan&ers and indeed one of the fig#res was r#nning to and fro on a wire or
rod- Then I dis&overed that there were a great many of them' almost all yo#ng girls' and they seemed to
me to be gy(sies or other nomadi& fol+- They wal+ed' lay' sat' moved at the height of the roofs on an
airy framewor+ of the thinnest s&affolding and arbo#rli+e (oles' they lived there and were at home in
that region- Beneath them the street &o#ld only be imagined' a fine swirling mist e?tended from the
gro#nd #( almost to their feet-
"a#l made some remar+ abo#t it- ,Bes', I re(lied' ,it is (atheti&' all those girls-,
To be s#re' I was m#&h higher than they were' b#t I was &linging to my (osition and they moved lightly
and fearlessly' and I saw that I was too high' I was in the wrong (la&e- They were at the right height'
not on the gro#nd and yet not so devilishly high and distant as I was' not among (eo(le and yet not so
&om(letely isolated) moreover' there were many of them- I saw very well that they re(resented a bliss
that I had not yet attained-
B#t I +new that sooner or later I wo#ld have to &limb down my monstro#s ladder and the tho#ght of it
was so o((ressive that I felt na#seated and &o#ld not end#re being #( there for another instant-
Des(erate and sha+ing with di..iness' I felt beneath me with my feet for the r#ngs of the ladder 8 I
&o#ld not see them from the board 8 and for hideo#s min#tes h#ng at that terrifying height str#ggling
&onv#lsively- No one hel(ed me' "a#l was gone-
In ab9e&t fear I e?e&#ted ha.ardo#s +i&+s and gras(ings' and a feeling &ame over me li+e a fog' a
feeling that it was not the high ladder or the di..iness that I had to end#re and taste to the f#ll- *or
almost at on&e I lost the sight and form of things' everything t#rned to fog and &onf#sion- At one
moment I was still hanging di..ily from the r#ngs' at the ne?t I was &ree(ing' small and frightened'
thro#gh narrow #ndergro#nd (assages and &orridors' then I was wading ho(elessly thro#gh m#d and
d#ng' feeling the filthy slime rising towards my mo#th- Dar+ness and obsta&les were everywhere-
Dreadf#l tas+s of grave b#t shro#ded (#r(ort- *ear and sweat' (aralysis and &old- Hard death' hard
birth-
:hat endless night s#rro#nded #sA How many (aths of torment we (#rs#e' go dee( into the &avern of
o#r r#bble8filled so#l' eternal s#ffering hero' eternal Odysse#sA B#t we go on' we go on' we bow
o#rselves and wade' we swim' &ho+ing in the slime' we &ree( along smooth no?io#s walls- :e wee(
and des(air' we whim(er in fear and howl alo#d in (ain- B#t we go on we go on and s#ffer' we go on
and gnaw o#r way thro#gh-
O#t of the seething hellish va(o#rs visibility ret#rned on&e more' a short stret&h of the dar+ (ath was
again revealed in the formative light of memory' and the so#l for&ed its way o#t of the (rimeval world
into the familiar &ir&le of +nown time-
:here was thisC *amiliar ob9e&ts ga.ed at me' I breathed an atmos(here I re&ogni.ed- A big room in
half dar+ness' a +erosene lam( on the table' my own lam(' a big ro#nd table rather li+e a (iano- $y
sister was there' and my brother8in8law' (erha(s on a visit to me or (erha(s I was with them- They were
>#iet and worried' f#ll of &on&ern abo#t me- And I stood in the big dim room' wal+ed ba&+ and forth'
sto((ed and wal+ed again in a &lo#d of sadness' in a flood of bitter' &ho+ing sadness- And now I began
to loo+ for something' nothing im(ortant' a boo+ or a (air of s&issors or something of that sort' and I
&o#ld not find it- I too+ the lam( in my hand' it was heavy' and I was terribly weary' I soon (#t it down
b#t then (i&+ed it #( again and wanted to go on sear&hing' sear&hing' altho#gh I +new it was #seless' I
wo#ld find nothing' I wo#ld only in&rease &onf#sion everywhere' the lam( wo#ld fall from my hands'
it was so heavy' so (ainf#lly heavy' and so I wo#ld go on gro(ing and sear&hing and wandering thro#gh
the room all my miserable life long-
$y brother8in8law loo+ed at me' worried and a little re(roa&hf#l- They &an see that I am going mad' I
tho#ght immediately' and (i&+ed #( the lam( again- $y sister &ame to me' silent with (leading eyes'
f#ll of fear and love' so that I felt my heart wo#ld brea+' I &o#ld say nothing' I &o#ld only stret&h o#t
my hand and wave her off' motion to her to stay away' and I tho#ght1 5#st leave me aloneA 5#st leave
me aloneA Bo# &annot +now how I feel' how I s#ffer' how frightf#lly I s#fferA And again1 Leave me
aloneA 5#st leave me aloneA
The reddish lam(light dimly flooded the big room' o#tside the trees groaned in the wind- *or an instant
I seemed to have a most (rofo#nd inward vision and sensation of the night o#tside1 wind and wetness'
a#t#mn' the bitter smell of foliage' fl#ttering leaves from the elm tree' a#t#mn' a#t#mnA And on&e more
for an instant I was not I myself b#t saw myself as tho#gh in a (i&t#re1 I was a (ale haggard m#si&ian
with fli&+ering eyes named H#go :olf and on this evening I was in the (ro&ess of going mad-
$eanwhile' I had to go on sear&hing' ho(elessly sear&hing' and lifting the heavy lam( on to the table'
on to the &hair' on to the boo+&ase- And I had to defend myself with besee&hing gest#res when my
sister on&e more loo+ed at me sadly and &onsiderately' wanting to &omfort me' wanting to be near me
and hel( me- The sorrow within me grew and filled me to the b#rsting (oint' and the images aro#nd me
were of elo>#ent' engrossing >#ality' m#&h &learer than any ordinary reality) a few a#t#mn flowers in a
glass' with a dar+ reddish8brown mat beneath it' glowed with (ainf#lly bea#tif#l loneliness' ea&h thing'
even the shining brass base of the lam(' was of an en&hanted bea#ty and isolated by fatef#l
se(arateness' as in the (aintings of the great masters-
I saw my fate &learly- One dee(er shade in this sadness' one f#rther glan&e from my sister' one more
loo+ from the flowers' the bea#tif#l so#lf#l flowers 8 and the flood wo#ld &ome' I wo#ld sin+ into
madness- ,Leave meA Bo# do not #nderstandA, On the (olished side of the (iano a beam of lam(light
was refle&ted in the dar+ wood' so bea#tif#l' so mysterio#s' so filled with melan&holyA
Now my sister rose again and went to the (iano- I wanted to (lead with her' I wanted to sto( her by
mental (ower b#t I &o#ld not' no sort of strength went o#t to her now from my loneliness- Oh' I +new
what was &ertain to ha((en then' I +new the melody that wo#ld now inevitably find voi&e' saying all
and destroying all- $onstro#s tension &om(ressed my heart' and while the first b#rning tears s(rang
from my eyes' I threw my head and hands a&ross the table and listened to and absorbed with all my
senses' and with newly added senses as well' the words and melody at on&e' :olf,s melody and the
verses1
:hat do yo# +now' dar+ treeto(s' Of the bea#ty of olden timesC The homeland beyond the mo#ntains'
How far from #s now' how farA
At this' before my eyes and within me the world slid a(art' was swallowed #( in tears and tones'
im(ossible to e?(ress the fl#idity' the torrent' the benefi&en&e and (ainA O tears' O sweet &olla(se'
blissf#l melting awayA All the boo+s of the world f#ll of tho#ghts and (oems are nothing in &om(arison
with one min#te,s sobbing when feeling s#rges in waves' so#l (er&eives and finds itself in the de(ths-
Tears are the melting i&e of the so#l' all angels are &lose to one who wee(s-
*orgetf#l of all &a#ses and reasons' I we(t my way down from the heights of #nbearable tension into
the gentle twilight of ordinary feelings' witho#t tho#ghts' witho#t witnesses- In between' images
fl#ttered1 a &offin in whi&h lay a man very dear and im(ortant to me' b#t I +new not who- "erha(s yo#
yo#rself' I tho#ght) then another s&ene a((eared to me from the far (ale distan&e- Had I not years ago
or in an earlier life witnessed a marvello#s sight1 a &om(any of yo#ng girls living high in the air'
&lo#dli+e and weightless' bea#tif#l and blissf#l' floating light as air and ri&h as string m#si&C
Bears flew between' for&ing me gently b#t irresistibly away from the (i&t#re- Alas' (erha(s my whole
life had had only this meaning' to see those lovely hovering maidens' to a((roa&h them' to be&ome li+e
themA Now they disa((eared in the distan&e' #nrea&hable' #n&om(rehended' #nreleased' wearily
en&ir&led by fl#ttering desire and des(air-
Bears drifted down li+e snowfla+es and the world was &hanged- I was wandering sadly towards a small
ho#se- I felt wret&hed' and an alarming sensation in my mo#rn (reo&&#(ied me' &a#tio#sly I (o+ed my
tong#e at a do#btf#l tooth' whi&h at on&e sli((ed sideways and fell o#t- The ne?t one 8 it' tooA A very
yo#ng do&tor was there' to whom I a((ealed' holding o#t one tooth in my fingers besee&hingly- He
la#ghed merrily' dismissing me with a deadly (rofessional glan&e and sha+ing his yo#ng head 8 that
doesn,t amo#nt to a thing' >#ite harmless' ha((ens every day- Dear God' I tho#ght- B#t he went on and
(ointed at my left +nee1 that,s where the tro#ble was' that was something >#ite different and no 9o+ing
matter- :ith (ani& s(eed I rea&hed down to my +nee 8 there it wasA There was a hole into whi&h I &o#ld
thr#st my finger' and instead of s+in and flesh there was nothing to feel b#t an insensitive' soft' s(ongy
mass' light and fibro#s as the s#bstan&e of wilted (lants-
0 my God' this was destr#&tion' this was death and disintegrationA ,So there,s nothing more to be doneC,
I as+ed with (ainsta+ing friendliness- ,Nothing more', said the yo#ng do&tor and disa((eared-
@?ha#sted' I wal+ed towards the little ho#se' not as des(erate as I really sho#ld have been' in fa&t
almost indifferent- Now I had to enter the little ho#se where my mother was waiting for me 8 had I not
already heard her voi&eC Seen her fa&eC Ste(s led #(ward' &ra.y ste(s' high and smooth' witho#t a
railing' ea&h one a mo#ntain' ea&h a s#mmit' a gla&ier- It was &ertainly too late 8 (erha(s she had
already left' (erha(s she was already deadC Had I not 9#st heard her &all againC Silently I str#ggled with
the stee( mo#ntaino#s ste(s) falling and &r#shed' wild and sobbing' I &limbed and strained' s#((orting
myself on failing arms and +nees' and was on to(' was at the gate' and the ste(s were again small and
(retty and bordered by bo?wood- $y every stride was sl#ggish and heavy as tho#gh thro#gh slime and
gl#e' no getting on' the gate stood o(en' and within' wearing a grey dress' my mother wal+ed' a little
bas+et on her arm' silently s#n+ in tho#ght- Oh' her dar+' slightly greying hair in the little netA And her
wal+' the small fig#reA And the dress' the grey dress 8 had I &om(letely lost her image for all those
many many years' had I never (ro(erly tho#ght of her at allC There she was' there she stood and
wal+ed' only visible from behind' e?a&tly as she had been' very &lear and bea#tif#l' (#re love' (#re
tho#ghts of loveA
*#rio#sly I waded thro#gh the sti&+y air with (aralysed gait' tendrils of (lants &#rled ro#nd me li+e thin
strong ro(es tighter and tighter' malignant obsta&les everywhere' no getting onA ,$otherA, I &ried- 8 B#t
I had no voi&e --- No so#nd &ame- There was glass between her and me-
$y mother wal+ed on slowly witho#t loo+ing ba&+' silently involved in bea#tif#l loving tho#ghts'
br#shing with her familiar hand an invisible thread from her dress' bending over her little bas+et with
her sewing materials- Oh' that little bas+etA In it she had on&e hidden an @aster egg for me- I &ried o#t
des(erate and voi&eless- I ran and &o#ld not leave the s(otA Tenderness and rage &ons#med me-
And she wal+ed on slowly thro#gh the s#mmerho#se' stood in the o(en doorway on the other side'
ste((ed o#t into the o(en- She let her head sin+ a little to one side' gently listening' absorbed in
tho#ghts' raised and lowered the little bas+et 8 I re&alled a sli( of (a(er I had fo#nd as a boy in her
sewing bas+et' on whi&h she had written in her flowing hand what she (lanned to do that day and to
ta+e &are of- ,Hermann,s tro#sers ravelled o#t 8 (#t away la#ndry 8 borrow boo+ by Di&+ens 8yesterday
Hermann did not say his (rayers-, 2ivers of memory' &argoes of loveA
Bo#nd and &hained' I stood at the gate' and beyond it the woman in the grey dress wal+ed slowly away'
into the garden' and disa((eared-
*ald#m
#" The $air
The road leading to the &ity of *ald#m wo#nd thro#gh #(land &o#ntry' sometimes (ast forests or broad
green meadows' sometimes (ast &ornfields' and the nearer it &ame to the &ity' the more farms' dairies'
gardens' and &o#ntry ho#ses it s+irted- The sea was too far away to be seen' and the world seemed to
&onsist of nothing b#t gentle hills' (retty little valleys' meadows and woods' farmlands and vegetable
gardens- It was a &o#ntry am(ly s#((lied with fr#it and firewood' mil+ and meat' a((les and n#ts- The
villages were &harming and &lean' the (eo(le on the whole were honest' diligent' and by no means
in&lined to dangero#s or revol#tionary enter(rises' and everyone felt &ontent if his neighbo#r (ros(ered
no better than himself- This was the nat#re of *ald#m' and most (la&es in the world are m#&h the same
so long as &ertain things do not ha((en to them-
The (retty road to the &ity of *ald#m 0the &ity had the same name as the &o#ntry3 on this (arti&#lar
morning had seen sin&e first &o&+&row livelier traffi& both afoot and on horseba&+ than at any other
time of the year' for this was the day of the great ann#al fair in the &ity and for twenty miles aro#nd
there was not a farmer or farmer,s wife' not a master or a((renti&e or s&hoolboy' not a manservant or
maidservant' not a yo#th or maiden' who had not been thin+ing for wee+s of the great fair and
dreaming of going there- Not all &o#ld go' of &o#rse) someone had to loo+ after the &attle and little
&hildren' the si&+ and the old' and whoever had been &hosen to stay and ta+e &are of the ho#se and
(ro(erty felt as if he were losing almost a year of his life and bitterly resented the bea#tif#l s#n that
sin&e early morning had shone warm and radiant in the bl#e s+y of late s#mmer-
$arried women and girls h#rried along with little bas+ets on their arms' the yo#ng men with &lean8
shaven &hee+s had &arnations or asters in their b#ttonholes' all were in S#nday attire' and the
s&hoolgirls, &aref#lly braided hair still shone wet and l#stro#s in the s#nshine- Those driving &arriages
had a flower or a red ribbon tied aro#nd the handles of their whi(s' and whoever &o#ld afford it had
de&orated the harness of his horses with strings of brightly (olished brass dis&s that rea&hed to the
horses, +nees- 2a&+ wagons &ame by with green roofs of bee&h bo#ghs ar&hing over them' and &rowded
#nderneath' (eo(le sat with bas+ets or &hildren in their la(s' most of them singing lo#dly in &hor#s-
There a((eared now and again a wagon es(e&ially gay' with its banners and (a(er flowers' red' bl#e'
and white among the green bee&h leaves' and from it village m#si& swelled and e&hoed and between its
bo#ghs in the half shadow glinted and s(ar+led golden horns and tr#m(ets- Little &hildren who had
been dragged along sin&e s#nrise began to &ry and were &omforted by their (ers(iring mothers' and
many were given lifts by good8nat#red drivers- An old woman was (#shing twins in a baby &arriage'
both aslee(' and on the (illow between the slee(ing &hildren lay two bea#tif#lly dressed and &ombed
dolls with &hee+s no less ro#nd and rosy-
Anyone living along the road who was not going to the fair that day had an entertaining morning with
this &ontin#o#s (ro&ession of sights- However' these stay8at8homes were few in n#mber- A ten8year8old
yo#ngster sitting on the garden stairs was wee(ing be&a#se he had to remain with his grandmother' b#t
when he saw a &o#(le of village boys trotting (ast he de&ided that he had sat and we(t long eno#gh and
s(rang down on to the road to 9oin them- Not far from there lived an elderly ba&helor who didn,t want
to hear a thing abo#t the fair be&a#se he begr#dged the money- He had (lanned' while everybody was
away &elebrating that day' to trim the high whitethorn hedge aro#nd his garden in (ea&e and >#iet' for
the hedge needed it' and hardly had the morning dew beg#n to eva(orate when he had gone &heerily to
wor+ with his long hedge shears- B#t he had sto((ed after barely an ho#r and angrily so#ght ref#ge in
his ho#se' for no man or boy had gone (ast' wal+ing or riding' witho#t loo+ing in astonishment at the
hedge8&#tter and ma+ing some 9o+e abo#t his ill8timed diligen&e' at whi&h the girls had giggled) and
when he had threatened them f#rio#sly with his long shears' they had all waved their hats and la#ghed
at him- Now he was sitting inside behind &losed sh#tters' (eering o#t envio#sly thro#gh the &ra&+s' b#t
his anger s#bsided in time' and as the last few fairgoers b#stled and h#rried by as tho#gh their lives
de(ended on it' he (#lled on his boots' (#t a taler in his (o#&h' (i&+ed #( his wal+ing sti&+' and was
abo#t to set o#t- Then it s#ddenly o&&#rred to him that a taler was after all a lot of money) he removed
it and instead (#t a half taler into his leather (o#&h and tied it #(- He thr#st the (o#&h into his (o&+et'
lo&+ed the ho#se and the garden gate' and ran so fast that he rea&hed the &ity ahead of many of the
(edestrians and even overtoo+ two wagons-
:ith him gone and the ho#se and garden deserted' the d#st over the road gently began to settle) the
so#nd of hoofs and the band m#si& had faded away in the distan&e and already the s(arrows were
&oming o#t of the fields of st#bble' bathing in the white d#st and s#rveying what was left over from the
t#m#lt- The road lay em(ty and dead and hot) from the far distan&e from time to time' faint and lost'
&ame a sho#t or the notes of a horn-
Then a man strolled o#t of the forest' his broad8brimmed hat (#lled low over his eyes' and he wandered
#nh#rriedly and alone along the em(ty &o#ntry road- He was tall and had the firm >#iet stride of a hi+er
who has travelled great distan&es afoot- He was dressed in&ons(i&#o#sly in grey and o#t of the shadow
of his hat his eyes (eered attentive and &alm' the eyes of one who desires nothing more from the world
b#t observes everything s&r#(#lo#sly and overloo+s nothing- He too+ note of the inn#merable &onf#sed
wagon tra&+s r#nning along the road' the hoof mar+s of a horse that had thrown the shoe from its left
hind foot) in the distan&e thro#gh the d#sty ha.e he saw the roofs of the &ity of *ald#m' small and
shimmering' on the to( of a hill) he saw a little old woman' f#ll of an?iety and fear' r#shing aro#nd a
garden &alling to someone who did not answer- On the edge of the road the s#n flashed from a (ie&e of
metal and he bent to (i&+ #( a bright ro#nd brass dis& that had &ome from a horse &ollar- He (#t this in
his (o&+et- And then he saw standing beside the road an old whitethorn hedge whi&h for a few (a&es
had been freshly trimmed) at the start the wor+ seemed neat and (re&ise as if e?e&#ted with (leas#re'
b#t with ea&h half stride it grew less even and soon a &#t had gone too dee(' negle&ted twigs were
sti&+ing #( bristly and thorny- *arther on' the stranger fo#nd a &hild,s doll lying in the road with it head
&r#shed by a wagon wheel' then a (ie&e of rye bread still gleaming with melted b#tter) and finally he
fo#nd a heavy leather (o#&h in whi&h there was a half taler- He leaned the doll against a +erbstone'
&r#mbled #( the sli&e of bread and fed it to the s(arrows' b#t the (o#&h with the half taler he thr#st into
his (o&+et-
It was indes&ribably >#iet on the abandoned road' the t#rf on either side lay grey with d#st in the s#n-
Nearby in a farmyard the &hi&+ens ran aro#nd' with no one to mind' &a&+ling and st#ttering dreamily in
the warm s#n- An old woman was stoo(ing over a bl#ish &abbage (at&h' (#lling weeds o#t of the dry
soil- The wanderer &alled to her to as+ how far it was to the &ity- B#t she was deaf' and when he &alled
lo#der she only loo+ed at him hel(lessly and shoo+ her grey head-
As he wal+ed on' from time to time m#si& rea&hed him from the &ity' swelling and then dying away'
then it &ame oftener and for longer (eriods' and finally it so#nded #ninterr#(tedly' li+e a distant
waterfall' m#si& and a &onf#sion of voi&es' as tho#gh a (arliament of man+ind were ha((ily assembled
#( there- A stream now ran beside the road' broad and >#iet' with d#&+s swimming on it and brownish8
green waterweed #nder the bl#e s#rfa&e- Then the road began to &limb' the stream &#rved to one side
and a stone bridge led a&ross it- A thin man who loo+ed li+e a tailor was sitting aslee( with droo(ing
head on the low wall of the bridge) his hat had fallen off into the d#st and beside him sat a droll little
dog +ee(ing wat&h- The stranger was abo#t to wa+en the slee(er lest he fall off the wall of the bridge in
his slee(- B#t on loo+ing down he saw that the height was moderate and the water shallow) and so he
let the tailor go on slee(ing #ndist#rbed-
Now after a short stee( rise in the road the stranger &ame to *ald#m,s &ity gate' whi&h stood wide o(en'
with no one in sight- He strode thro#gh' his ste(s reso#nding s#ddenly and lo#dly on the (aved street
where in front of the ho#ses on both sides stood rows of em(ty' #nharnessed wagons and &ale&hes-
*rom other streets &ame noise and &onf#sed sho#ting' b#t here there was no one' the little street lay in
shadow and only the #((er windows of the ho#ses refle&ted the golden day- The wanderer sat down on
the (ole of a ra&+ wagon for a short rest- :hen he got #( to leave' he (la&ed on the driver,s seat the
brass harness de&oration he had fo#nd in the road-
He had gone barely a blo&+ farther along when he was eng#lfed in the noise and &onf#sion of the fair-
In a h#ndred booths dealers lo#dly haw+ed their wares' &hildren blew on silvery tr#m(ets' b#t&hers
fished long ne&+la&es of fresh wet sa#sages o#t of h#ge boiling +ettles' a >#a&+ stood on a high
(latform (eering en&o#ragingly thro#gh thi&+ horn8rimmed glasses and (ointing to a &hart on whi&h
were ins&ribed all sorts of h#man diseases and ailments- A man with long bla&+ hair wal+ed (ast'
leading a &amel by a ro(e- The animal loo+ed down arrogantly from its long ne&+ on the &rowds of
(eo(le and twisted its divided li(s ba&+ and forth as it &hewed-
The man who had &ome o#t of the woods loo+ed attentively at all this' allowed himself to be (#shed
and shoved along by the (eo(le' glan&ed now into the stand of a dealer in &olo#red (rints' then read
sayings and mottoes on s#gared gingerbread' b#t he lingered nowhere and seemed not yet to have
fo#nd what (res#mably he was loo+ing for- And so he (ro&eeded slowly and &ame to the big &entral
s>#are' where a bird dealer had set #( sho( on one &orner- He listened for a while to the voi&es that
&ame from the many little &ages' and he answered them' whistling softly to the linnet' the >#ail' the
&anary' the warbler-
S#ddenly he saw nearby a bright flash of light' as brilliant and blinding as tho#gh all the s#nshine had
been &on&entrated at this one (oint' and when he a((roa&hed' it t#rned o#t to be a big mirror hanging in
an e?hibitor,s booth' and beside it were other mirrors' tens and do.ens and more' big' small'
re&tang#lar' ro#nd' oval' mirrors to be h#ng on the wall' mirrors on stands' hand mirrors and little
narrow (o&+et mirrors that yo# &o#ld have with yo# so as not to forget yo#r own fa&e- The dealer was
standing there mani(#lating a s(ar+ling hand mirror so that the refle&tion of the s#n dan&ed aro#nd his
booth) meanwhile' he sho#ted tirelessly1 ,$irrors' ladies and gentlemen- This is the (la&e to b#y
mirrorsA The best mirrors' the &hea(est mirrors in *ald#mA $irrors' ladies' magnifi&ent mirrorsA 5#st
ta+e a loo+ at them' all gen#ine' all of the best &rystalA,
The stranger sto((ed beside the mirror booth as if he had fo#nd what he was loo+ing for- Among the
(eo(le ins(e&ting the mirrors were three yo#ng &o#ntry girls) he too+ #( a (osition &lose to them and
saw that they were fresh' healthy (easants' neither bea#tif#l nor #gly' in thi&+8soled shoes and white
sto&+ings' with blonde' rather s#n8faded (laits and eager yo#ng eyes- @a&h of the three was holding a
mirror in her hand' not one of the large or e?(ensive ones' and while they hesitated over the (#r&hase
and en9oyed the (leas#rable torment of &hoi&e' ea&h wo#ld ga.e forlornly and dreamily into the &lear
de(ths of the mirror' s#rveying her image' her mo#th and eyes' the little ornament at her throat' the
s(rin+ling of fre&+les a&ross the bridge of her nose' the smooth hair' the rosy ear- They be&ame silent
and solemn) the stranger who was standing 9#st behind them saw their large8eyed' serio#s fa&es (eering
o#t of the three mirrors-
,Oh' how I wish', he heard the first one say' ,how I wish I had hair that was all red8gold and long eno#gh
to rea&h to my +neesA,
The se&ond girl' hearing her friend,s wish' sighed softly and loo+ed more intently into her mirror- Then'
bl#shing' she timidly div#lged what her heart dreamed of1 ,If I had a wish' I wo#ld li+e to have the
(rettiest hands' all white and deli&ate' with long narrow fingers and rosy fingernails-, She glan&ed down
at the hand that was holding the oval mirror) tho#gh not #gly' it was rather short and broad and had
be&ome ro#ghened and &oarse from wor+-
The third' the smallest and merriest of the three' la#ghed and &ried gaily1 ,That,s not a bad wish- B#t
yo# +now hands aren,t so im(ortant- :hat I,d li+e most is to be' from today on' the best and nimblest
dan&er in the whole &o#ntry of *ald#m-,
Then the girl gave a s#dden start and t#rned aro#nd' for o#t of the mirror' behind her own fa&e' (eered
a stranger,s fa&e with gleaming bla&+ eyes' the fa&e of the man from the forest' whom the three had not
seen standing behind them #ntil now- They stared at him with ama.ement as he nodded and said1 ,Bo#
have made three ni&e wishes' yo#ng ladies- Are yo# really serio#s abo#t themC,
The small girl had (#t down the mirror and hidden her hands behind her ba&+- She wanted to (ay the
man ba&+ for startling her' and was trying to thin+ of a shar( re9oinder) b#t when she loo+ed into his
fa&e' there was s#&h (ower in his eyes that she grew &onf#sed- ,Is it any b#siness of yo#rs what I wishC,
was all she &o#ld say' bl#shing-
B#t the one who had wished for bea#tif#l hands was im(ressed by the tall man,s dignified and fatherly
air- She said1 ,Bes' indeed' I am serio#s abo#t it- %o#ld one wish for anything finerC,
The mirror dealer had a((roa&hed' other (eo(le too were listening- The stranger (#shed ba&+ the brim
of his hat so that his smooth high forehead and im(erio#s eyes were stri+ingly visible- Now he nodded
and smiled at the three girls and &ried1 ,5#st loo+' now yo# have everything yo# wished forA,
The girls stared at one another' then ea&h loo+ed >#i&+ly into a mirror' and they all grew (ale with
astonishment and 9oy- The first one had thi&+ gold lo&+s rea&hing to her +nees- The se&ond held her
mirror in the whitest' slimmest (rin&ess hands' and the third was s#ddenly standing in red leather
dan&ing shoes on an+les as slim as those of a doe- They &o#ld not gras( what had ha((ened' b#t the one
with the bea#tif#l hands b#rst into blissf#l tears' leaned on the sho#lder ne?t to her' and we(t ha((ily
into her friend,s long hair- Now (eo(le began sho#ting' and news of the mira&le was &ried abroad from
the neighbo#rhood of the booth- A yo#ng 9o#rneyman who had seen the whole thing stood there staring
at the stranger with wide8o(en eyes as tho#gh he had been t#rned to stone-
,:o#ldn,t yo# li+e to wish something for yo#rselfC, the stranger s#ddenly as+ed him-
The a((renti&e gave a start' be&ame totally &onf#sed' and let his eyes rove abo#t hel(lessly' trying to
s(y something he &o#ld wish for- Then he saw hanging in front of the (or+ b#t&her,s booth a great
wreath of thi&+ red +na&+w#rst and he stammered' (ointing at it1 ,A string of +na&+w#rst li+e that' that,s
what I,d li+e to haveA, And behold' there the wreath h#ng aro#nd his ne&+' and all who saw it began to
la#gh and sho#t' and everyone tried to (ress &loser' everyone wanting to ma+e a wish' and they were all
allowed to- The ne?t to have a t#rn was bolder and wished for a new o#tfit from to( to toe) hardly had
he s(o+en when he was dressed in brand8new &lothing as fine as the b#rgermeister,s- Then &ame a
&o#ntry woman who too+ her &o#rage in both hands and as+ed straight o#t for ten talers' and forthwith
the talers were 9ingling in her (#rse-
Now (eo(le saw that in all tr#th mira&les were ha((ening and at on&e the news s(read from the mar+et8
(la&e a&ross the &ity' and a h#ge gro#( >#i&+ly formed aro#nd the booth of the mirror dealer- $any
were still la#ghing and 9o+ing' wo#ldn,t believe a word of it' and made s&e(ti&al remar+s- B#t many
had s#&&#mbed to the wish fever and &ame r#shing with glowing eyes and fa&es hot and &ontorted with
greed and worry' for ea&h feared that the so#r&e might dry #( before he had a &han&e to (arti&i(ate-
Boys wished for &oo+ies' &rossbows' dogs' bags f#ll of n#ts' boo+s' and games of bowls) girls went
away ha((y with new &lothes' ribbons' gloves' and (arasols- A little ten8year8old boy who had r#n
away from his grandmother and was >#ite beside himself with the sheer s(lendo#r and glamo#r of the
fair wished in a &lear voi&e for a live horse' a bla&+ one) and forthwith behind him was a bla&+ &olt
whinnying and r#bbing his head affe&tionately on the boy,s sho#lder-
An elderly ba&helor with a wal+ing8sti&+ in his hand' >#ivering with e?&itement and hardly able to
s(ea+ a word' for&ed his way thro#gh the mira&le8into?i&ated throng-
,I wi8wish', he stammered' ,I wi8wish for myself twi&e one h#ndred 8 ,
The stranger loo+ed at him &losely' too+ a leather (o#&h from his (o&+et' and held it in front of the
e?&ited man,s eyes- ,:ait a min#teA, he said- ,Didn,t yo# (erha(s lose this money (o#&hC There,s a half
taler in it-,
,Bes' I &ertainly did', &ried the ba&helor- ,That,s mine-,
,Do yo# want it ba&+ againC,
,Bes' yes' give it hereA,
So he got his (o#&h ba&+ again and th#s #sed #( his wish' and when he #nderstood this he went at the
stranger f#rio#sly with his &ane' b#t did not s#&&eed in hitting him) instead' he +no&+ed down one of
the mirrors and the fragments had not yet &eased rattling when the dealer was standing there demanding
money' and the ba&helor had to (ay-
Then a &or(#lent ho#seholder ste((ed forward and made a &a(ital wish 8 to wit' a new roof for his
ho#se- Immediately brand8new tiles and whitewashed &himneys were visible' shining in his street- Then
everyone be&ame feverish again and their wishes were (it&hed higher' and soon there was a man who
felt no shame in ma+ing the modest wish for a new fo#r8storey ho#se on the mar+et8(la&e' and in a
>#arter of an ho#r he was leaning over his own windowsill and wat&hing the fair from that vantage
(oint-
It was now really no longer a fair) instead' all the life of the &ity' li+e a river from a s(ring' flowed only
from that s(ot beside the mirror booth where one &o#ld get a wish from the stranger- %ries of wonder'
envy' or derision greeted ea&h wish' and when a h#ngry little boy had wished for nothing b#t a hatf#l of
(l#ms' his hat was filled again with taler (ie&es by someone who had made a less modest wish- Great
re9oi&ing and a((la#se bro+e o#t when the fat wife of a store+ee(er made #se of her wish to &#re
herself of a large goitre- B#t then &ame an e?am(le of what anger and 9ealo#sy &an do- The woman,s
h#sband' the sho(+ee(er' who lived in &onfli&t with her and had 9#st had a fight with her' made #se of
his own wish' whi&h might have made him ri&h' to restore the vanished goitre to its old (la&e- B#t the
(re&edent had been set' and &rowds of the si&+ and infirm were fet&hed and (eo(le fell into new
fren.ies as the lame began to dan&e and the blind e&stati&ally greeted the light with reawa+ened eyes-
$eanwhile' yo#ngsters had r#n abo#t everywhere anno#n&ing the mira&#lo#s ha((enings- The story
was told of a loyal old &oo+ who was standing at the hearth roasting a goose for her em(loyers when
she heard the news thro#gh the o(en window- She &o#ld not resist r#nning off to the mar+et8(la&e in
order to wish herself ri&h and ha((y for life- B#t the farther along she (ressed in the &rowd the more
tormented her &ons&ien&e be&ame' and when it was her t#rn to wish she gave #( her (lan and only
re>#ested that the goose might not b#rn #( before she got ba&+ home-
The t#m#lt wo#ld not &ease- N#rsemaids &ame r#shing o#t of ho#ses with their little ones in their arms'
invalids stormed eagerly into the streets in their nightgowns- In a state of great &onf#sion and des(air' a
little old lady made her way in from the &o#ntry and when she heard abo#t the wishing she begged in
tears that she might find her lost grand&hild safe and so#nd- Behold' witho#t an instant,s delay there
&ame the boy riding on a little bla&+ horse and fell la#ghing into her arms-
*inally the whole &ity was transformed and over&ome by into?i&ation- "airs of lovers' their wishes
f#lfilled' wandered ha((ily arm in arm) families rode in &ale&hes' still wearing the old mended &lothes
they had (#t on that morning- $any who were already regretting #nwise wishes had either sadly
disa((eared or dr#n+ themselves into forgetf#lness at the old fo#ntain in the mar+et8(la&e' whi&h a
(ran+ster thro#gh his wish had s#((lied with the best wine-
And in the whole &ity of *ald#m there were only two (eo(le who +new nothing abo#t the mira&le and
had not made wishes for themselves- These were two yo#ng men who were behind &losed windows
high #( in an atti& room of an old ho#se on the edge of town- One of them stood in the middle of the
room with a violin #nder his &hin and (layed with #tter s#rrender of body and so#l) the other sat in a
&orner with his head in his hands' totally absorbed in listening- Thro#gh the little window(anes the
beams of the late afternoon s#n obli>#ely lit a b#n&h of flowers standing on the table and (layed over
the torn wall(a(er- The room was &om(letely s#ff#sed with warm light and the glowing tones of the
violin' li+e a little se&ret treas#re &hamber filled with the glitter of gems- The violinist,s eyes were
&losed and he swayed ba&+ and forth as he (layed- The listener stared at the floor' lost in the m#si&' as
motionless as tho#gh there were no life in him-
Then footste(s so#nded in the street and the ho#se gate was thrown o(en and someone (o#nded heavily
#( the stairs all the way to the atti& room- It was the owner of the ho#se' who tore the door o(en and
&ame sho#ting and la#ghing into the room- The m#si& abr#(tly &eased) the silent listener lea(ed #(
startled and distressed' the violinist too was angry at being dist#rbed- B#t the landlord (aid no heed' he
sw#ng his arms abo#t li+e a dr#n+ard and sho#ted1 ,*ools' there yo# sit fiddling and o#tside the whole
world is being &hanged- :a+e #( and r#n so yo# won,t be too late 8 there,s a man in the mar+et8(la&e
who ma+es a wish &ome tr#e for everyone- So yo# needn,t live #nder the roof any more and &ontin#e to
owe me the miserable bit of rent- H( and away before it,s too lateA I too have be&ome a ri&h man today-,
The violinist heard this with astonishment' b#t sin&e the man wo#ld not leave him in (ea&e' he set his
violin aside and (#t his hat on his head) his friend followed silently- Barely were they o#t of the ho#se
when they saw the most remar+able &hanges in the &ity- They wal+ed bem#sed' as tho#gh in a dream'
(ast ho#ses that only yesterday had been grey and as+ew and mean b#t now stood tall and elegant as
(ala&es- "eo(le they had +nown as beggars drove by in fo#r8horse &arriages or loo+ed in (ro#d
affl#en&e o#t of the windows of bea#tif#l homes- An ema&iated fellow' who loo+ed li+e a tailor and
was followed by a tiny dog' was sweating as he wearily dragged behind him a great heavy sa&+' from
whi&h gold (ie&es tri&+led thro#gh a small hole on to the (avement- As tho#gh drawn by some magnet'
the two yo#ths arrived in the mar+et8(la&e and in front of the booth with the mirrors- There stood the
strange man and he said to them1 ,Bo#,re in no h#rry with yo#r wishes- I was 9#st abo#t to leave- :ell'
tell me what yo# want and don,t feel any hesitation-,
The violinist shoo+ his head and said1 ,Oh' if they,d only left me aloneA I don,t need anything-,
,Bo# don,tC Thin+ againA, &ried the stranger- ,Bo# may wish for anything at all' anything yo# &an thin+
of-,
The violinist &losed his eyes for a moment and refle&ted- Then he said softly1 ,I wo#ld li+e a violin on
whi&h I &o#ld (lay so marvello#sly that the whole world with its #(roar &o#ld no longer &ome near me-,
And behold' he was already holding a (ri&eless violin and a bow in his hands' and he t#&+ed the violin
#nder his &hin and began to (lay1 it sang sweet and strong li+e the song of "aradise- :hoever heard it
sto((ed and listened and his eyes grew solemn- B#t the violinist' (laying more and more intensely and
bea#tif#lly' was swe(t away by Those :ho Are Invisible and disa((eared in the air' and still from a
great distan&e his m#si& &ame drifting ba&+ with a soft radian&e li+e the glow of s#nset-
,And yo#C :hat do yo# wish for yo#rselfC, the stranger as+ed the other yo#ng man-
,Now yo# have ta+en the violinist away from meA, the yo#th said- ,I want nothing from life b#t to listen
and wat&h' and I wo#ld li+e to thin+ only abo#t what is immortal- And so I wo#ld li+e to be a mo#ntain
as big as the &o#ntryside of *ald#m and so tall that my s#mmit wo#ld tower above the &lo#ds-,
Then a th#ndering began beneath the earth and everything started to sh#dder- There was a so#nd of
brea+ing glass' the mirrors fell one after another into s(linters on the (avement' and the mar+et8(la&e
rose swaying li+e a &loth #nder whi&h a &at has s#ddenly awa+ened and is ar&hing her ba&+- An
immense terror sei.ed the (eo(le' tho#sands fled s&reaming o#t of the &ity into the fields- B#t those
who remained in the mar+et s>#are saw behind the &ity a mighty mo#ntain rising #( into the evening
&lo#ds' and they saw the >#iet stream transformed into a wild white torrent that r#shed down foaming
from high #( on the mo#ntain' with many falls and ra(ids' into the valley below-
Only a moment had (assed' and the whole &o#ntryside of *ald#m had be&ome a giganti& mo#ntain with
the &ity lying at its foot' and now far away one &o#ld see the o&ean- However' no one had been in9#red-
An old man standing beside the mirror booth' who had seen the whole thing' said to his neighbo#r1 ,The
world,s gone mad- I,m glad I haven,t m#&h longer to live- Only I,m sorry abo#t the violinist- I wo#ld
have li+ed to hear him (lay on&e more-,
,Bes' indeed', said the other- ,B#t tell me' what has be&ome of the strangerC,
They loo+ed all aro#nd- He had disa((eared- B#t when they ga.ed #( at the new mo#ntain they saw the
stranger wal+ing away' his &a(e waving in the wind) they saw him stand for an instant' giganti& against
the evening s+y' and then vanish behind a &liff-
%" The &ountain
@verything (erishes' and all new things grow old- That ann#al fair was a thing of the (ast' and many a
man who had wished himself ri&h on that o&&asion had long sin&e grown (oor again- The girl with the
long red8gold hair had a&>#ired a h#sband and &hildren' who themselves had visited the fair in the &ity
in the late s#mmer of ea&h year- The girl with the nimble dan&ing feet had married a master wor+man'
she &o#ld still dan&e magnifi&ently' better than many yo#ng (eo(le' and altho#gh her h#sband had
wished himself a great deal of money' it loo+ed as tho#gh this merry &o#(le wo#ld r#n thro#gh it all
within their lifetimes- B#t the third girl' the one with the bea#tif#l hands' it was she who still tho#ght
more than anyone else abo#t the stranger at the mirror booth- Indeed' this girl had never married and
had not grown ri&h' b#t she still had her deli&ate hands and on their a&&o#nt no longer did farm wor+
b#t tended the &hildren of the village wherever she was needed and told them fairy tales and stories'
and it was from her that all the &hildren had learned abo#t the mira&#lo#s fair and how the (oor had
be&ome ri&h and the &o#ntryside of *ald#m had be&ome a mo#ntain- :hen she told these stories she
loo+ed smilingly straight at her slender (rin&ess hands and was so lively and &harming that one &o#ld
believe there had been no l#&+ier or more s(lendid (ri.e given o#t at the mirror booth than hers'
altho#gh she remained (oor and h#sbandless and had to tell her bea#tif#l stories to other (eo(le,s
&hildren-
@veryone who had been yo#ng at that time was now old' and whoever had been old then had now died-
Only the mo#ntain was #naltered and ageless' and when the snow on its s#mmit s(ar+led thro#gh the
&lo#ds' it seemed to smile and be ha((y that it was no longer a man and did not have to re&+on in terms
of h#man time- High above the &ity shone the mo#ntain,s &liffs' its h#ge shadow moved ea&h day
a&ross the land' its broo+s and rivers bro#ght down advan&e noti&e of the wa?ing and waning of the
seasons' the mo#ntain had be&ome the (rote&tor and father of all- *orests grew on it and meadows with
waving grass and flowers) s(rings g#shed forth from it and snow and i&e and stones' and on the stones
grew bright moss and beside the broo+s forget8me8nots- :ithin the mo#ntain were &averns where with
#n&hanging m#si& water dri((ed in silver threads year after year from stone to stone' and in its
&revasses were se&ret &hambers where with millennial (atien&e &rystals grew- On the s#mmit of the
mo#ntain no man had ever stood- B#t many &laimed to +now that #( there at the very to( was a small
ro#nd la+e in whi&h nothing had ever been mirrored e?&e(t the s#n' the moon' the &lo#ds' and the stars-
Neither man nor animal had ever loo+ed into this (ool whi&h the mo#ntain held #( to the heavens' for
even eagles &o#ld not fly so high-
The (eo(le of *ald#m lived ha((ily in their &ity and in the many valleys) they &hristened their &hildren'
they &arried on trade and &ommer&e' they bore one another to the grave- And all that was handed on
from forefathers to grand&hildren and &ontin#ed as a living tradition was their +nowledge and their
dreams abo#t the mo#ntain- She(herds and &hamois h#nters' nat#ralists and botanists' mo#ntain
&owherds and travellers in&reased the treas#re' and the ma+ers of songs and tellers of tales s(read it
abroad) they learned of endless Stygian &aves' of s#nless waterfalls in hidden &hasms' of towering
gla&iers' they learned the (aths of the avalan&hes and the tri&+s of the weather' and everything the land
re&eived by way of warmth and frost' water and growth' weather and wind' all &ame from the
mo#ntain-
No one any longer +new abo#t the earlier times- To be s#re' there was the bea#tif#l saga of the
mira&#lo#s ann#al fair at whi&h ea&h so#l in *ald#m had been allowed to wish for whatever he wanted'
b#t that the mo#ntain had been formed on that day no one wo#ld now believe- The mo#ntain' they
+new for &ertain' had stood in its (la&e from the beginning of time and wo#ld remain there for all
eternity- The mo#ntain was home' the mo#ntain was *ald#m- B#t the stories abo#t the three girls and
abo#t the violin (layer' these (eo(le loved to hear' and every on&e in a while there had been here or
there a yo#th who wo#ld lo&+ his door and lose himself in his violin (laying as he dreamed of
vanishing in his most bea#tif#l song li+e the violin (layer who had been swe(t away into heaven-
The mo#ntain lived on' silent and immense- @a&h day it saw the s#n rise distant and red o#t of the
o&ean and (#rs#e its &ir&#lar &o#rse (ast its s#mmit from east to west' and ea&h night it wat&hed the
stars following the same silent tra&+- @a&h year winter wra((ed it heavily with snow and i&e' and ea&h
year in their season the avalan&hes th#ndered on their way and at the edges of their melting snows the
bright8eyed s#mmer flowers' bl#e and yellow' la#ghed in the s#n and the broo+s were in s(ate and the
la+es shone bl#e and warm in the s#nlight- In viewless &averns' lost waterfalls roared and the small
ro#nd la+e high above on the s#mmit lay #nder heavy i&e and waited all year for the brief (eriod of
high s#mmer when for a few days it o(ened its bright bl#e eye to the s#n and for a few nights refle&ted
the stars- Dar+ &averns where stood the waters reso#nded with the #n&easing fall of dro(s on stone' and
in se&ret shafts the tho#sand8year8old &rystals grew steadfastly towards (erfe&tion-
In the foothills of the mo#ntain' a little higher than the &ity' lay a valley thro#gh whi&h a broad stream
with a smooth s#rfa&e flowed between alders and willows- Thither went the yo#ng (eo(le who were in
love and they learned from the mo#ntain and the trees the marvel of the seasons- In another valley men
trained with horses and wea(ons' and on a high stee( (romontory a mighty fire b#rned ea&h year
d#ring the night of the s#mmer solsti&e-
Ages sli((ed by and the mo#ntain safeg#arded the lovers, valley and the field of arms' he gave a home
to &owherds and woodsmen' h#nters and l#mbermen) he (rovided stone for b#ilding and iron for
smelting- Indifferent and (ermissive' he wat&hed the first s#mmer fire bla.e on the (romontory and saw
it ret#rn a h#ndred times and many h#ndred times again- He saw the &ity down below rea&h o#t with
little st#m(y arms and grow beyond its an&ient walls- He saw the h#nters dis&ard their &rossbows and
ta+e #( firearms- The &ent#ries ran (ast him li+e the seasons of the year' and the years li+e ho#rs-
It &a#sed him no &on&ern that in the long &o#rse of years a time &ame when the red solsti&e fire did not
bla.e on the smooth ro&+ and from then on remained forgotten- He was not worried when in the mar&h
of the ages the field of arms was deserted and (lantain and thistles overgrew the lists- And he did
nothing to interfere when in the long &o#rse of the &ent#ries a landslide altered his form and half the
&ity of *ald#m was red#&ed to r#bble #nder the th#ndering ro&+s- He barely glan&ed down and did not
even noti&e that the &ity lay there in r#ins and no one reb#ilt it-
All this dist#rbed him not at all- B#t something else did begin to worry him- The ages had sli((ed by
and' behold' the mo#ntain had grown old- :hen he saw the s#n rise and move a&ross the s+y and
de(art' it was not the way it had on&e been' and when he saw the stars refle&ted in the (ale gla&iers he
no longer felt himself their e>#al- Neither the s#n nor the stars were any longer es(e&ially im(ortant to
him) what was im(ortant now was what was ha((ening to himself and within himself- *or he &o#ld feel
dee( beneath his &liffs and &averns an alien hand at wor+' hard (rimitive ro&+ grew friable and
weathered into fla+y slates as streams and waterfalls ate their way dee(er- The gla&iers had
disa((eared' the la+es had broadened' forests had been transformed into bo#lder fields and meadows
into bla&+ moors) the barren ribbons of his moraines e?tended vastly far o#t into the &o#ntry in (ointed
tong#es' and the lands&a(e below was strangely altered' had be&ome oddly stony' blasted and silent-
The mo#ntain withdrew more and more into himself- He was &learly no longer the e>#al of the s#n and
the stars' his e>#als were wind and snow' water and i&e- :hatever seems eternal and yet slowly wears
away and (erishes' that was his e>#al-
He began to g#ide his broo+s more affe&tionately down into the valley' he rolled his avalan&hes with
greater &a#tion' he offered his flowery meadows more soli&ito#sly to the s#n- And it ha((ened that in
his advan&ed age he also remembered men again- Not that he tho#ght of men as e>#als' b#t he began to
loo+ abo#t for them' he began to feel abandoned and to thin+ abo#t the (ast- B#t the &ity was no longer
there' there were no songs in the valley of love' and no h#ts on the mo#ntain (ea+s- There were no
more men- All had gone- All had grown still' had be&ome (ar&hed' a shadow lay in the air-
The mo#ntain sh#ddered when he reali.ed what dissol#tion meant) and as he sh#ddered' his s#mmit
bent to one side and (it&hed down and the ro&+y fragments rolled after it a&ross the valley of love' long
sin&e filled #( with stones' down into the sea-
Bes' times had &hanged- :hy was it that 9#st now he had to remember men and thin+ abo#t them
&ontin#allyC Had it not on&e been very bea#tif#l when the fire on the (romontory had b#rned and the
yo#ng (eo(le in (airs had wandered thro#gh the valley of loveC And oh' how sweet and warm their
songs had so#ndedA
The an&ient mo#ntain was wholly s#n+ in memories' he hardly noti&ed the &ent#ries flowing by' how
here and there in his &averns there was s#bsiden&e a&&om(anied by &ollisions and a soft th#ndering-
:hen he tho#ght abo#t men he was (ained by a d#ll e&ho from (ast ages of the world' a not8
#nderstood in&lination and love' a dim intermittent dream as tho#gh on&e he too had been a man or li+e
men' had s#ng and heard others sing' as tho#gh the idea of mortality had on&e in his earliest days
transfi?ed his heart-
The ages flowed by- In &olla(se and s#rro#nded by a barren wasteland of r#bble' the dying mo#ntain
gave himself #( to his dreams- How had that on&e beenC :as there not still a resonan&e' a slender silver
thread that #nited him with the bygone worldC Laborio#sly he b#rrowed in the night of mo#ldering
memories' gro(ing &easelessly for torn threads' re(eatedly bending far o#t over the abyss of things (ast-
8 Had there not been for him too' in the very distant ages (ast' the glow of friendshi(' of loveC Had not
he too' the lonely one' the great one' on&e been an e>#al among e>#alsC 8 Had not on&e at the beginning
of the world a mother s#ng to him tooC
He brooded and brooded' and his eyes' the bl#e la+es' grew &lo#dy and d#ll and t#rned into moor and
swam(' and over the stri(s of grass and little (at&hes of flowers swe(t the rolling bo#lders- He
&ontin#ed to brood' and from an #nimaginable distan&e he heard a &hime ringing' felt the notes of
m#si& aro#nd him' a song' a h#man song' and he trembled with the (ainf#l 9oy of re&ognition- He heard
the notes and he saw a man' a yo#th' wholly envelo(ed in m#si&' (oised in mid8air in the s#nny s+y'
and a h#ndred b#ried memories were aro#sed and began to >#iver and stir- He saw a h#man fa&e with
dar+ eyes' and the eyes as+ed &ommandingly1 ,Do yo# not want to ma+e a wishC,
And he made a wish' a silent wish' and as he did so' he was freed from the torment of having to thin+
abo#t all those lost and distant things' and everything fell from him that had &a#sed him (ain- The
mo#ntain &olla(sed and with it the &o#ntry' and where *ald#m had been' the illimitable sea tossed and
roared' and over it in steady alternation moved the s#n and the stars-
Iris
In the s(ringtide of his &hildhood Anselm #sed to r#n and (lay in the green garden- One of his mother,s
flowers &alled the sword lily was his s(e&ial favo#rite- He #sed to (ress his &hee+ against the tall'
bright8green leaves' to#&h their shar( (oints with e?(loratory fingers' dee(ly inhale the s&ent of the
marvello#s large blooms' and stare into them for min#tes at a time- :ithin' there were long rows of
yellow fingers rising from the (ale bl#e floor of the flower' and between them ran a bright (ath far
downward into the &aly? and the remote bl#e mystery of the blossom- He had a great love for this
flower and (eering into it was his favo#rite (astime) sometimes he saw the deli&ate #(right yellow
members as a golden fen&e in a +ing,s garden' sometimes as a do#ble row of bea#tif#l dream trees
#nto#&hed by any bree.e' and between them' bright and interla&ed with living veins as deli&ate as glass'
ran the mysterio#s (ath to the interior- There at the ba&+ the &avern yawned h#gely and the (ath
between the golden trees lost itself infinitely dee( in #nimaginable abysses' the violet va#lt ar&hed
royally above it and &ast thin' magi& shadows on the silent' e?(e&tant marvel- Anselm +new that this
was the flower,s mo#th' that behind the l#?#riant yellow finery in the bl#e abyss lived her heart and
tho#ghts' and that along this lovely shining (ath with its glassy veins her breath and dreams flowed to
and fro-
Alongside the tall flower stood smaller ones whi&h had not yet o(ened) they rose on firm' sa(8filled
stems in little &hali&es of brownish8yellow s+in' o#t of whi&h the new blossoms for&ed their way
#(ward silently and vigoro#sly' wra((ed tight in bright8green and lila&' b#t at the very to( the new
dee( violet' ere&t and neatly rolled' (eered o#t in deli&ate (oints' and even these yo#ng' tight8rolled
(etals showed a networ+ of veins and a h#ndred se&ret signs-
In the morning when he &ame o#t of the ho#se' fresh from slee( and dreams and strange worlds' there
stood the garden waiting for him' never lost yet always new' and where yesterday there had been the
hard bl#e (oint of a blossom tightly rolled' staring o#t of its green sheath' now h#ng thin and bl#e as air
a yo#ng (etal with a tong#e and a li(' tentatively sear&hing for the &#rving form of whi&h it had long
dreamed- At the very bottom where it was still engaged in a noiseless str#ggle with its sheath' deli&ate
yellow growth was already in (re(aration' the bright veined (ath and the far8off fragrant abyss of the
so#l- "erha(s as early as midday' (erha(s by evening' it wo#ld o(en' the bl#e sil+ tent wo#ld #nfold
over the golden forest' and her first dreams' tho#ghts' and songs wo#ld be breathed silently o#t of the
magi&al abyss-
There &ame a day when the grass was f#ll of bl#e bell8flowers- There &ame a day when s#ddenly there
were new so#nds and a new fragran&e in the garden' and over the reddish' s#n8dren&hed leaves h#ng
the first tea rose' soft and golden red- There &ame a day when there were no more sword lilies- They
were gone) there were no more gold8fen&ed (aths leading gently down into fragrant mysteries' and the
&ool (ointed leaves stood star+ and #nfriendly- B#t red berries were ri(ening in the b#shes' and above
the starflowers flew new' #nheard8of b#tterflies' 9oyo#s and #n&onfined' reddish8brown ones with
mother8of8(earl ba&+s' and whirring' glassy8winged haw+ moths-
Anselm tal+ed to the b#tterflies and the (ebbles' he made friends with the beetles and li.ards' birds told
him bird stories' ferns se&retly revealed to him #nder the roof of their giant fronds their stores of brown
seeds) for him fragments of green and &rystal glass' &at&hing the s#n,s rays' t#rned into (ala&es'
gardens' and s(ar+ling treas#re &hambers- :ith the lilies gone' the nast#rti#ms bloomed) when the tea
roses wilted' then brambles grew brown- @verything &hanged (la&es' was always there and always
gone' disa((eared and &ame again in its season' and even those marvello#s frightening days' when the
wind whistled &hilly thro#gh the (ine forest and in the whole garden the wilted foliage rattled very sear
and dead' bro#ght still another song' a new e?(erien&e' a story' #ntil on&e more all s#bsided' snow fell
o#tside the windows and (alm forests grew on the (anes' angels with silver bells flew thro#gh the
evening' and hall and atti& were redolent of dried fr#it- *riendshi( and &onfiden&e never failed in that
good world' and when snowdro(s #ne?(e&tedly shone beside the bla&+ ivy leaves' then it was as
tho#gh they had been there all the time- Hntil one day' never e?(e&ted and yet always e?a&tly the way it
had to be and always e>#ally wel&ome' the first (ointed bl#ish b#d (ee(ed o#t again from the stem of
the sword lily-
To Anselm everything was bea#tif#l' everything was delightf#l' friendly' and familiar' b#t his highest
moment of magi& and of gra&e &ame ea&h year with the first sword lily- At some moment in his earliest
&hildhood he had read in her &hali&e for the first time the boo+ of marvels' her fragran&e and &hanging'
m#ltifario#s bl#e had been s#mmons and +ey to the #niverse- Th#s the sword lily had gone with him
thro#gh all the years of his inno&en&e' had be&ome new with ea&h new s#mmer' ri&her in mystery and
more moving- Other flowers too had mo#rns' others diff#sed fragran&e and tho#ghts' others too enti&ed
bees and beetles into their small sweet &hambers- B#t to the boy the bl#e lily had be&ome dearer and
more im(ortant than any other flower' she was for him the symbol and e?am(le of everything worth
&ontem(lating and marvelling at- :hen he stared into her &hali&e and in absor(tion allowed his
tho#ghts to follow that bright dreamli+e (ath between the marvello#s yellow shr#bbery towards the
twilight interior of the flower' then his so#l loo+ed thro#gh the gate where a((earan&e be&omes a
(arado? and seeing a s#rmise- Sometimes at night too he dreamed of this flowery &hali&e' saw it
o(ening giganti&ally in front of him' li+e the gate of a heavenly (ala&e' and thro#gh it he wo#ld ride on
horseba&+' wo#ld fly on swans' and with him flew and rode and glided gently the whole world drawn
by magi& into the lovely abyss' inward and downward' where every e?(e&tation had to find f#lfilment
and every intimation &ame tr#e-
@a&h (henomenon on earth is an allegory' and ea&h allegory is an o(en gate thro#gh whi&h the so#l' if
it is ready' &an (ass into the interior of the world where yo# and I and day and night are all one- In the
&o#rse of his life' every h#man being &omes #(on that o(en gate' here or there along the way) everyone
is sometime assailed by the tho#ght that everything visible is an allegory and that behind the allegory
live s(irit and eternal life- *ew' to be s#re' (ass thro#gh the gate and give #( the bea#tif#l ill#sion for
the s#rmised reality of what lies within-
Th#s to the boy Anselm the &hali&e of his flower seemed to be the o(en' #nvoi&ed >#estion towards
whi&h his so#l was striving in growing anti&i(ation of a blessed answer- Then the lovely m#lti(li&ity of
things drew him away again' in &onversation and games with glass and stones' roots' b#shes' animals'
and all the friendly (resen&es of his world- Often he was s#n+ in dee( &ontem(lation of himself' he
wo#ld sit with &losed eyes absorbed in the marvels of his own body' feeling as he swallowed' as he
sang' as he breathed' strange sensations' im(#lses' and intimations in mo#th and throat' gro(ing too for
the (ath and the gate by whi&h so#l &an go to so#l- :ith ama.ement he observed the &olo#red fig#res
f#ll of meaning whi&h a((eared to him o#t of the (#r(le dar+ness when he &losed his eyes' s(ots and
half &ir&les of bl#e and dee( red with glassy8bright lines between- Sometimes Anselm reali.ed with a
ha((y start the s#btle h#ndredfold inter&onne&tions between eye and ear' smell and taste) he felt for
bea#tif#l fleeting instants tones' noises' and letters of the al(habet related and very similar to red and
bl#e' to hard and soft) or he marvelled' as he smelled some (lant or (eelings of green bar+' at how
strangely &lose smell and taste lie together and often &ross over into one another and be&ome one-
All &hildren feel this' altho#gh not all with the same intensity and deli&a&y' and with many the feeling
is gone and as tho#gh it had never e?isted even before they have learned to read their first letters-
Others retain the mystery of &hildhood for a long time and a vestige and e&ho of it stays with them into
the days of white hair and weariness- All &hildren' as long as they remain within this mystery' are
#ninterr#(tedly o&&#(ied in their so#ls with the single im(ortant thing' with themselves and their
(arado?i&al relationshi( to the o#tside world- See+ers and wise men ret#rn to this (reo&&#(ation in
their mat#re years) most (eo(le' however' forget and abandon' early and for good' this inner world of
the tr#ly im(ortant' and all their lives long wander abo#t in the many8&olo#red ma.es of wishes'
worries' and goals' none of whi&h has a (la&e in their innermost being and none of whi&h leads them
ba&+ to their innermost being or to home-
D#ring Anselm,s &hildhood' s#mmers and a#t#mns softy &ame and went' again and again the
snowdro(s' wallflowers' violets' lilies' (eriwin+les' and roses bloomed and faded' bea#tif#l and
l#?#riant as always- He lived together with them) flower and bird' tree and s(ring listened to him' and
he too+ his first written letters and the first woes of friendshi( in his old fashion to the garden' to his
mother' to the many8&olo#red stones that bordered the beds-
B#t then &ame a s(ring that did not so#nd and smell li+e all the earlier ones) the bla&+bird sang and it
was not the old song' the bl#e iris bloomed and no dreams or fairy tales drifted o#t and in along the
gold8fen&ed (athway of its &hali&e- Strawberries in hiding la#ghed from among the green shadows'
b#tterflies t#mbled magnifi&ently above the woodbine' b#t nothing was any longer the way it had
always been) the boy had other interests' and he was fre>#ently at odds with his mother- He himself did
not +now what the tro#ble was or why it h#rt so' why something was always bothering him- He only
saw that the world had &hanged' that the friendshi(s of earlier times had fallen away and left him alone-
Th#s a year (assed' and then another' and Anselm was no longer a &hild- The &olo#red stones aro#nd
the flower8beds bored him' the flowers were silent' and he +e(t the beetles in a &ase' im(aled on (ins-
The old 9oys had dried #( and withered' and his so#l had beg#n the long hard deto#r-
Boistero#sly the yo#ng man made his way into life' whi&h seemed to him to have 9#st beg#n- Blown
away and forgotten was the world of allegory) new desires and new (aths enti&ed him- The a#ra of
&hildhood still lingered abo#t him' in his bl#e eyes and soft hair' b#t he was irritated when reminded of
it and had his hair &#t short and ado(ted as bold and worldly an air as he &o#ld m#ster- Hn(redi&table'
he stormed thro#gh the tro#bling se&ondary8s&hool years' sometimes a good st#dent and friend'
sometimes alone and withdrawn' now b#ried in boo+s #ntil late at night' now wild and obstre(ero#s at
his first yo#thf#l drin+ing bo#ts- He had had to leave home and saw it only on very brief o&&asions
when he &ame to visit his mother- Greatly &hanged' grown tall' handsomely dressed' he wo#ld bring
friends or boo+s with him' always different ones' and when he wal+ed thro#gh the old garden' it was
small and silent #nder his distra#ght glan&e- He no longer read stories in the many8&olo#red veins of
the stones and the leaves' he no longer saw God and eternity dwelling in the bl#e se&re&y of the iris
blossom-
Anselm went to se&ondary s&hool' then to &ollege) he &ame home with a red &a( and then with a yellow
one' with f#.. on his #((er li( and then with a yo#thf#l beard- He bro#ght boo+s in foreign lang#ages
with him and one time a dog' and in a letter &ase in his breast (o&+et he sometimes &arried se&ret
(oems' the sayings of an&ient wise men' or (i&t#res of (retty girls and letters from them- He &ame ba&+
from travels in distant lands and from sea voyages on great shi(s- He &ame ba&+ again and was a yo#ng
tea&her' wearing a bla&+ hat and dar+ gloves' and his old neighbo#rs ti((ed their hats to him and &alled
him (rofessor altho#gh he was not yet that- On&e more he &ame' wearing bla&+ &lothes' and wal+ed
slim and solemn behind the slowly moving hearse in whi&h his old mother lay in a flower8&overed
&offin- And after that he seldom ret#rned-
In the metro(olis where Anselm was now a tea&her and had a high a&ademi& re(#tation' he went abo#t
behaving e?a&tly li+e other (eo(le of the world- He wore a fine hat and &oat' he was serio#s or genial
as the o&&asion demanded' he observed the world with alert b#t rather weary eyes' and he was a
gentleman and a s&holar 9#st as he had wanted to be- B#t now things too+ a new t#rn for him' very
m#&h as they had at the end of his &hildhood- He s#ddenly felt as if many years had sli((ed (ast and
left him standing strangely alone and #nsatisfied with a way of life for whi&h he had always longed- It
was no real ha((iness to be a (rofessor' it was not really gratifying to be res(e&tf#lly greeted by
&iti.ens and st#dents' it was all stale and &ommon(la&e- Ha((iness on&e more lay far in the f#t#re and
the road there loo+ed hot and d#sty and tiresome-
At this time Anselm often visited the ho#se of a friend whose sister he fo#nd attra&tive- He was no
longer in&lined to r#n after (retty fa&es) in this too he had &hanged' and he felt that ha((iness for him
m#st &ome in some s(e&ial fashion and was not to be e?(e&ted behind every window- His friend,s sister
(leased him greatly and often he tho#ght he tr#ly loved her- B#t she was a strange girl) her every
gest#re' every word' bore her own stam( and &olo#ring' and it was not always easy to +ee( (a&e with
her in e?a&tly the same rhythm- @venings when Anselm wal+ed #( and down in his lonely home'
refle&tively listening to his own footste(s e&hoing thro#gh the em(ty rooms' he str#ggled a great deal
within himself abo#t this woman- She was older than he wo#ld have wished his wife to be- She was
odd' and it wo#ld be diffi&#lt to live with her and (#rs#e his a&ademi& ambitions' with whi&h she had
no sym(athy at all- Also she was not very rob#st or healthy and in (arti&#lar &o#ld not easily end#re
&om(any and (arties- By (referen&e she lived in lonely >#iet amid flowers' m#si&' and boo+s' letting
the world go its way or &ome to her if it m#st- Sometimes her sensitivity was so a&#te that when
something alien wo#nded her she wo#ld b#rst into tears- Then again she wo#ld glow with some silent
and se&ret ha((iness' and anyone who saw her wo#ld thin+ how diffi&#lt it wo#ld be to give anything
to this strange bea#tif#l woman or to mean anything to her- Sometimes Anselm believed she loved him'
sometimes it seemed to him that she loved no one b#t was sim(ly gentle and friendly with everyone
and wanted nothing b#t to be left in (ea&e- B#t he demanded something >#ite different from life' and if
he were to marry' then there m#st be life and e?&itement and hos(itality in his home-
,Iris', he said to her' ,dear Iris' if only the world were differently arrangedA If nothing at all e?isted b#t
yo#r bea#tif#l gentle world of flowers' tho#ghts' and m#si&' then I too wo#ld wish for nothing at all b#t
to s(end my whole life with yo#' to hear yo#r stories and to share in yo#r tho#ghts- Bo#r very name
does me good- Iris is a wonderf#l name' and I have no idea what it reminds me of-,
,B#t yo# do +now', she said' ,that the bl#e and yellow sword lilies are &alled that-,
,Bes', he re(lied with an #neasy feeling- ,I +now it very well and that in itself is bea#tif#l- B#t always
when I (rono#n&e yo#r name it seems to remind me of something else' I don,t +now what' as tho#gh it
were &onne&ted with some very dee(' distant' im(ortant memories' and yet I don,t +now what they
might be and &annot seem to find o#t,
Iris smiled at him as he stood there at a loss' r#bbing his forehead with his hand-
,I always feel the same way', she said to Anselm in her light' birdli+e voi&e' ,whenever I smell a flower-
$y heart feels as tho#gh a memory of something &om(letely bea#tif#l and (re&io#s were bo#nd #(
with the fragran&e' something that was mine a long time ago and that I have lost- It is that way too with
m#si& and sometimes with (oems 8 s#ddenly there is a flash for an instant as tho#gh all at on&e I saw a
lost homeland lying below in the valley' b#t instantly it is gone again and forgotten- Dear Anselm' I
believe we are on earth for this (#r(ose' for this &ontem(lation and see+ing and listening for lost' far8
off strains' and behind them lies o#r tr#e home-,
,How bea#tif#lly yo# (#t it', he said admiringly' and he felt an almost (ainf#l stirring in his breast' as
tho#gh a &om(ass hidden there were (ersistently (ointing towards his distant goal- B#t that goal was
>#ite different from the one he had deliberately set for his life' whi&h dist#rbed him' for was it' after all'
worthy of him to s>#ander his life in dreams with only (retty fairy tales for (rete?tC
And one day Herr Anselm &ame ba&+ from one of his lonely 9o#rneys and fo#nd his barren s&holar,s
>#arters so &hilly and o((ressive that he r#shed off to his friend,s ho#se' determined to as+ bea#tif#l
Iris for her hand-
,Iris', he said to her' ,I don,t want to go on living this way- Bo# have always been my good friend- I m#st
tell yo# everything- I need a wife' otherwise my life seems em(ty and meaningless- And whom sho#ld I
want for a wife b#t yo#' my darling flowerC Are yo# willing' IrisC Bo# shall have flowers' as many as
we &an find' yo# shall have the most bea#tif#l garden- Are yo# willing to &ome to meC,
Iris loo+ed him in the eye &almly and with deliberation) she did not smile' she did not bl#sh' and she
answered him in a firm voi&e-
,Anselm' I am not s#r(rised at yo#r >#estion- Bo# are dear to me' altho#gh I had never tho#ght of being
yo#r wife- B#t loo+' my friend' I demand a great deal from the man I marry- I ma+e greater demands
than most women- Bo# offer me flowers and yo# mean well by it- B#t I &an live even witho#t flowers'
and witho#t m#si& too) I &o#ld very well do witho#t many other things as well' if it were ne&essary- B#t
one thing I &annot and will not do witho#t1 I &an never live so m#&h as a single day in s#&h a way that
the m#si& in my heart is not dominant- If I am to live with a man' it m#st be one whose inner m#si&
harmoni.es bea#tif#lly and e?a&tly with mine' and his single desire m#st be that his own m#si& be (#re
and that it blend well with mine- %an yo# do that' my friendC Eery li+ely yo# will not be&ome more
famo#s this way or garner f#rther hono#rs' yo#r ho#se will be >#iet' and the f#rrows whi&h I have seen
in yo#r brow for many a year m#st all be smoothed o#t- Oh' Anselm' it will not wor+- Loo+' yo# are so
&onstit#ted that yo# always have to st#dy new f#rrows into yo#r forehead' &onstantly &reate new
worries' and what I (er&eive and am' yo# no do#bt love and find (leasant' b#t for yo# as for most
(eo(le it is after all sim(ly a (retty toy- Oh' listen to me &aref#lly1 everything that now seems a toy to
yo# is life itself to me and wo#ld have to be so to yo# too' and everything yo# strive for and worry
abo#t is for me a toy' in my eyes is not worth living for 8 I shall not &hange' Anselm' for I live
a&&ording to an inner law' b#t will yo# be able to &hangeC And yo# wo#ld have to &hange &om(letely if
I were to be yo#r wife-,
Anselm &o#ld not s(ea+' startled by the strength of her will' whi&h he had always tho#ght wea+ and
frivolo#s- He remained silent and tho#ghtlessly &r#shed a flower he had (i&+ed #( from the table in his
nervo#s hand-
:hen Iris gently too+ the flower from him' her a&tion str#&+ him to the heart' li+e a shar( reb#+e 8 and
then s#ddenly she smiled &heerf#lly and &harmingly' as tho#gh she had #ne?(e&tedly fo#nd a way o#t
of the dar+ness-
,I have an idea', she said in a gentle voi&e' and bl#shed as she s(o+e- ,Bo# will find it strange' it will
seem to yo# a whim- B#t it is no whim- :ill yo# listen to itC And will yo# agree that it will de&ide
abo#t yo# and meC,
:itho#t #nderstanding her' Anselm stared at Iris with worry in his (ale feat#res- Her smile &om(elled
him to have &onfiden&e and say yes-
,I want to give yo# a tas+', Iris said' be&oming immediately very serio#s again-
,Do so' it is yo#r right', Anselm re(lied-
,This is serio#s with me', she said' ,and it is my last word- :ill yo# a&&e(t it as it &omes straight from
my so#l and not >#ibble or bargain abo#t it' even if yo# don,t #nderstand it right awayC,
Anselm (romised- Then she said' getting #( and giving him her hand1 ,Often yo# have said to me that
whenever yo# s(ea+ my name yo# are reminded of a forgotten something that was on&e im(ortant and
holy in yo#r eyes- That is a sign' Anselm' and it is what has drawn yo# to me all these years- I too
believe yo# have lost and forgotten something im(ortant and holy in yo#r so#l' something that m#st be
reawa+ened before yo# &an find ha((iness and attain what is intended for yo#- 8 *arewell' AnselmA I
give yo# my hand and I beg yo#1 go and ma+e s#re yo# find again in yo#r memory what it is yo# are
reminded of by my name- On the day when yo# have redis&overed that' I will go with yo# as yo#r wife
wherever yo# wish and have no desires b#t yo#rs-,
In &onf#sion and dismay' Anselm tried to interr#(t her and dismiss this demand as a whim' b#t with one
bright loo+ she reminded him of his (romise and he fell silent- :ith lowered eyes he too+ her hand'
raised it to his li(s' and left-
In the &o#rse of his life he had ta+en #(on himself many tas+s and had &arried them o#t' b#t none had
been so strange' im(ortant' and at the same time dismaying as this one- Day after day he h#rried aro#nd
&on&entrating on it #ntil he was weary' and the time always &ame when in des(air and anger he
deno#n&ed the whole #nderta+ing as a &ra.y feminine notion and re9e&ted it &om(letely- B#t then
something dee( within him disagreed' a very faint se&ret (ain' a soft' s&ar&ely a#dible warning- This
low voi&e' whi&h was in his own heart' a&+nowledged that Iris was right and it made the same demand
that she did-
However' the tas+ was m#&h too diffi&#lt for this man of learning- He was s#((osed to remember
something he had long ago forgotten' he was to find on&e more a single golden thread in the fabri& of
the s#n+en years' he was to gras( with his hands and deliver to his beloved something that was no more
than a vanished bird song' an im(#lse of 9oy or sorrow on hearing a (ie&e of m#si&' something finer'
more fleeting and bodiless than a tho#ght' more ins#bstantial than a dream' as formless as morning
mist-
Sometimes when he had abandoned the sear&h and given #( in bad tem(er' #ne?(e&tedly something
li+e a breath from a distant garden to#&hed him' he whis(ered the name Iris to himself ten times and
more' softly and lightly' li+e one testing a note on a tight string- ,Iris', he whis(ered' ,Iris', and with a
faint (ain he felt something stir within him' the way in an old abandoned ho#se a door swings o(en
witho#t reason or a &#(board &rea+s- He went over his memories' whi&h he had believed to be stored
away in good order' and made ama.ing and startling dis&overies- His treas#ry of memories was a great
deal smaller than he wo#ld have s#rmised- :hole years were missing' and when he tho#ght ba&+ they
stood there as em(ty as blan+ (ages- He fo#nd that he had great diffi&#lty in s#mmoning #( a &lear
image of his mother- He had &om(letely forgotten the name of a girl whom as a yo#th he had hotly
&o#rted for a whole year- He ha((ened to remember a dog he had on&e (#r&hased on the s(#r of the
moment and had +e(t with him for a time) it too+ him a whole day to re&all the dog,s name-
"ainf#lly' with in&reasing sorrow and fear' the (oor fellow saw how wasted and em(ty was the life that
lay behind him' no longer belonging to him' alien and with no relationshi( to himself' li+e something
on&e learned by heart of whi&h one &o#ld now only with diffi&#lty retrieve meaningless fragments- He
began to write) he wanted to set down' going ba&+ward year by year' his most im(ortant e?(erien&es so
as to have them &learly in mind again- B#t what had been his most im(ortant e?(erien&esC :hen he
had been a((ointed (rofessorC :hen he had re&eived his do&torate' been an #ndergrad#ate' been a
se&ondary8s&hool st#dentC Or when on&e in the forgotten (ast this girl or that had for a time (leased
himC He loo+ed #( terrified1 :as this lifeC :as this allC He str#&+ himself on the forehead and la#ghed
bitterly-
$eanwhile' time ran on' never had it fled so ine?orablyA A year was gone and it seemed to him that he
was in e?a&tly the same (osition as when he had left Iris- Bet in this time he had greatly &hanged' as
everyone e?&e(t himself re&ogni.ed- He had be&ome almost a stranger to his a&>#aintan&es' he was
&onsidered absentminded' (eevish' and odd' he gained a re(#tation of being an #n(redi&table e&&entri&
8 too bad abo#t him' b#t he had been a ba&helor too long- There were times when he forgot his
a&ademi& d#ties and his st#dents waited for him in vain- Dee( in tho#ght' he wo#ld sometimes (rowl
thro#gh the streets' br#shing the ho#sefronts and the d#st from the windowsills with his threadbare &oat
as he (assed- $any tho#ght that he had beg#n to drin+- B#t at other times he wo#ld sto( in the midst of
a &lassroom le&t#re' attem(ting to re&all something) his fa&e wo#ld brea+ into an a((ealing' &hildli+e
smile in a manner entirely new to him' and then he wo#ld go on tal+ing with a warmth of feeling that
to#&hed many of his listeners to the heart-
In the &o#rse of his ho(eless sear&h for some &ontin#ity among the faint tra&es of bygone years' he had
a&>#ired a new fa&#lty of whi&h he was not aware- It ha((ened more and more fre>#ently that behind
what he had hitherto &alled memories there lay other memories' m#&h as on an old wall (ainted with
an&ient (i&t#res still older ones have been over(ainted and lie hidden and #ns#s(e&ted- He wo#ld try to
re&all something' (erha(s the name of a &ity where he had on&e s(ent some days on his travels' or the
birthday of a friend' or anything at all' and while he was b#rrowing and sear&hing thro#gh a little (ie&e
of the (ast as tho#gh thro#gh r#bble' s#ddenly something entirely different wo#ld o&&#r to him- A
breath wo#ld #ne?(e&tedly rea&h him li+e an A(ril morning bree.e or a Se(tember mist- He smelled a
fragran&e' tasted a flavo#r' felt deli&ate dar+ sensations here and there' on his s+in' in his eyes' in his
heart' and slowly it &ame to him that there m#st on&e have been a day' bl#e and warm or &ool and grey'
or whatever +ind of day' and the essen&e of it m#st have been &a#ght within him and &l#ng there as a
b#ried memory- He &o#ld not (la&e in the real (ast that s(ring or winter day he distin&tly smelled and
felt' he &o#ld atta&h no name or date to it) (erha(s it had been d#ring his &ollege days' (erha(s' even'
he had been in the &radle' b#t the fragran&e was there and he +new that something lived in him whi&h
he did not re&ogni.e and &o#ld not identify or define- Sometimes it seemed to him as tho#gh these
memories might well rea&h ba&+ beyond life into a former e?isten&e' altho#gh he wo#ld smile at the
tho#ght-
Anselm dis&overed a good deal in his hel(less wanderings thro#gh the abysses of memory- He fo#nd
m#&h that to#&hed and gri((ed him' and m#&h that startled him and filled him with terror' b#t the one
thing he did not find was what the name Iris meant to him- In the torment of his fr#itless sear&h he went
on&e to e?(lore his old home' saw the woods and the streets' the foot(aths and fen&es' stood in the old
garden of his &hildhood and felt the waves brea+ over his heart' the (ast en&om(assing him li+e a
dream- Saddened and silent' he ret#rned and with the anno#n&ement that he was ill he had everyone
who wanted to see him t#rned away-
One' however' insisted on entering' the friend he had not seen sin&e his &o#rtshi( of Iris had ended-
This friend fo#nd Anselm sitting #n+em(t in his &heerless st#dy-
,Get #(', he said to him' ,and &ome with me- Iris wants to see yo#-,
Anselm s(rang to his feet-
,IrisA :hat has ha((ened to herC 8 Oh' I +now' I +nowA,
,Bes', said his friend' ,&ome with me- She is going to die- She has been ill for a long time-,
They went to Iris' who was lying on a sofa' slender and light as a &hild- She smiled l#mino#sly with
overlarge eyes and gave Anselm her light white &hildli+e hand' whi&h lay li+e a flower in his- Her fa&e
was as tho#gh transfig#red-
,Anselm', she said' ,are yo# angry with meC I set yo# a hard tas+ and I see that yo# have remained
faithf#l- Go on sear&hing' go on as yo# have been doing #ntil yo# find what yo# are loo+ing for- Bo#
tho#ght yo# were sear&hing on my a&&o#nt b#t yo# were doing it for yo#rself- Do yo# reali.e thatC,
,I s#s(e&ted it', Anselm said' ,and now I +now it- It is a vast 9o#rney' Iris' and I wo#ld long sin&e have
t#rned ba&+' b#t now I &an find no way to do that- I don,t +now what is to be&ome of me-,
She ga.ed dee( into his sorrowf#l eyes and smiled en&o#ragingly) he bent over her thin hand and we(t
in silen&e' and her hand be&ame wet with his tears-
,:hat is to be&ome of yo#C, she said in a voi&e that was only li+e a glow of memory- ,:hat is to
be&ome of yo# is something yo# m#st not as+- Bo# have so#ght many things in yo#r life- Bo# have
so#ght hono#r and ha((iness and +nowledge and yo# have so#ght me' yo#r little Iris- All these were
only (retty (i&t#res and they deserted yo#' as I m#st now desert yo#- It has been the same with me-
:hat I so#ght always t#rned o#t to be dear and lovely (i&t#res and they always failed and faded- Now I
have no more (i&t#res' I see+ nothing more' I am ret#rning home and have only one small ste( to ta+e
and then I shall be in my native land- Bo# too will 9oin me there' Anselm' and then yo# will have no
more f#rrows in yo#r brow-,
She was so (ale that Anselm &ried o#t in des(air1 ,Oh' wait' Iris' do not go yet- Leave me some sign that
yo# are not disa((earing &om(letely-,
She nodded and rea&hed over to a vase beside her and gave him a fresh' f#ll8blown bl#e sword lily-
,Here' ta+e my flower' the iris' and do not forget me- Sear&h for me' sear&h for the iris' then yo# will
&ome to me-,
:ee(ing' Anselm held the flower in his hands and wee(ing too+ his leave- :hen a message from his
friend s#mmoned him' he ret#rned and hel(ed adorn Iris,s &offin with flowers and lower it into the
earth-
Then his life fell to (ie&es aro#nd him) it seemed im(ossible for him to go on s(inning his thread- He
gave everything #(' left his (osition and the &ity' and disa((eared from the world- Here and there he
t#rned #( briefly- He was seen in his native town leaning over the fen&e of the old flower garden' b#t
when (eo(le in>#ired after him and wanted to assist him he was nowhere to be fo#nd-
The sword lily remained dear to him- :henever he &ame #(on one' he wo#ld bend over it and sin+ his
ga.e into the &aly? for a long time and o#t of the bl#ish de(ths a fragran&e and a (resentiment of all
that had been and was to be seemed to be rising towards him' #ntil sadly he went his way be&a#se
f#lfilment did not &ome- It was as tho#gh he were listening at a half8o(en door and behind it the most
en&hanting se&ret was being breathed' and 9#st when he felt that at that very moment everything wo#ld
be made (lain to him and wo#ld be f#lfilled' the door sw#ng sh#t and the &hill wind of the world blew
over his loneliness-
In his dreams his mother s(o+e to him) her fa&e and form he had not seen so &lose and &lear for many
long years- And Iris s(o+e to him' and when he awo+e' an e&ho lingered in his ears to whi&h he wo#ld
devote a whole day of tho#ght- He had no (ermanent abode- He h#rried thro#gh the &o#ntry li+e a
stranger' sle(t in ho#ses or in the woods' ate bread or berries' dran+ wine or the dew from the leaves of
b#shes' b#t was oblivio#s to it all- Some too+ him for a fool' some for a magi&ian' some feared him'
some la#ghed at him' many loved him- He a&>#ired s+ills he had never had before' li+e being with
&hildren and ta+ing (art in their strange games' or holding &onversations with a bro+en twig or a little
stone- :inters and s#mmers ra&ed by him' he +e(t loo+ing into the &hali&es of flowers and into broo+s
and la+es-
,"i&t#res', he said at times to himself' ,everything 9#st (i&t#res-,
B#t within him he felt an essen&e that was not a (i&t#re and this he followed' and the essen&e within
him at times wo#ld s(ea+' and its voi&e was the voi&e of Iris and the voi&e of his mother' and it was
&omfort and ho(e-
:onders &ame his way b#t did not s#r(rise him- *or e?am(le' one winter day he was wal+ing thro#gh
the snow in an o(en field' i&e forming in his beard- There in the snow stood slim and (ointed an iris
stal+ whi&h bore a single bea#tif#l blossom- He bent over to it and smiled' for now he reali.ed what it
was that Iris had again and again #rged him to remember- He re&ogni.ed his &hildhood dream when he
saw between the golden (i&+ets the light8bl#e' brightly veined (ath leading into the se&ret heart of the
flower' and he +new that this was what he so#ght' that this was the essen&e and not any longer a
(i&t#re-
And (resentiments &ame to him again' dreams g#ided him' and he fo#nd a h#t where &hildren gave him
mil+' and as he (layed with them they told him stories) they told him that in the forest near the &har&oal
b#rners, h#ts a mira&le had o&&#rred- There the s(irit gate had been seen standing o(en' the gate that
o(ens only on&e in a tho#sand years- He listened and nodded assent to the &herished (i&t#re and went
on' a bird in an alder b#sh sang in front of him' a bird with a strange sweet note li+e the voi&e of the
dead Iris- He followed the bird as it flew and ho((ed ahead of him' dee( into the forest-
:hen the bird fell silent and disa((eared' Anselm sto((ed and loo+ed abo#t him- He was standing in a
dee( valley in the forest' water ran softly #nder broad green leaves) otherwise' all was silent as if f#ll of
e?(e&tation- B#t in Anselm,s breast the bird &ontin#ed to sing with the beloved voi&e and it #rged him
on #ntil he stood in front of a &liff overgrown with moss' and in the middle of it was a ga(ing fiss#re
that led narrowly into the interior of the mo#ntain-
In front of the fiss#re sat an old man who arose when he saw Anselm a((roa&hing and &ried1 ,Bo#
there' t#rn ba&+A This is the s(irit gate- No one has ever ret#rned who entered here-,
Anselm glan&ed #( and into the ro&+y entran&e- There he saw a bl#e (ath disa((earing dee( inside the
mo#ntain and golden (illars stood &lose together along both sides and the (ath within led downward as
tho#gh into the &hali&e of an enormo#s flower-
In his breast rose the bird,s &lear song and Anselm strode (ast the g#ardian into the fiss#re and between
the golden &ol#mns into the bl#e mystery of the interior- It was Iris into whose heart he entered' and it
was the sword lily in his mother,s garden into whose bl#e &hali&e he softly strode' and as he silently
drew &loser to the golden twilight all memory and all +nowledge were s#ddenly at his &ommand' he felt
of his hand and fo#nd it small and soft' voi&es of love so#nded near and familiar in his ears' and the
ring they had and the glow of the golden &ol#mns were li+e the ring and glow everything had had at
that distant time in the s(ringtide of his &hildhood-
And the dream he had dreamed as a small boy was his again' that he was striding into the &hali&e' and
behind him the whole world of images strode too and glided and san+ into the mystery that lies behind
all images-
Softly Anselm began to sing' and his (ath slo(ed gently downward into his homeland-