26th Edition (14th using complete sentences)

Pulitzer Prizes awarded in 1997, 2003, 2010 (cheated in 2005)

The Seminoff Christmas Letter

(Or Exhibit A in Katies bad-parenting lawsuit)
SURPRISE, SURPRISE:
WE HAVE ANOTHER CAT

A (somewhat) seamless transition

to the travails of middle school
We like to think of ourselves as good parents. Sure,
there was the time I tried to do laundry with one hand
while holding 6-month-old Katie, and her head MAY
have slammed against brushed the corner of the dryer.
But all in all, were doing C-plus, B-minus work.
It was with that enthusiasm that we sent Katie off to
the first day of middle school in August. She put her
school ID around her neck, gathered her binder,
backpack and violin and headed into Robinson in
complete violation of the schools dress code.

In 21 Christmases, seven cats have reached the top of our tree. This month, newcomer Peanut Butter
set the vertical 6-foot dash record at 3.2 seconds.

Kim and I celebrated 20 years together in the spring, and in

that time weve learned to compromise about many things.
No. 1 is pets. Ive always preferred one, maybe two. Kim
wants 46. Weve always been able to meet in the middle.
Kim spends more time on the Humane Society website than
the Humane Societys IT person. Usually, shes quick to give
me veto power, because she knows Im the voice of reason. If
only more people recognized that.
But one Friday in October, the e-mail said, Im going to the
Animal Shelter, and included a photo. Veto power gone.
So home came a tiny kitty from death row. First named
Moose in honor of Mike Moustakas playoff homer that
night, Katie eventually won (not a first) and named him
Peanut Butter. He gets us back to four cats, which will
hopefully keep Kim off www.kshumane.org for a while.

Ff

Marie (7), Curby (4), Tippy (2) and Buddy (8) have protested the newbies arrival.

Yes, after days of

committing the dress code
to memory especially
when it came to covering
the buttocks area Kim
and Katie decided on
an outfit (right) with
partially uncovered
shoulders. A major no-no.
She was given a first-day
reprieve and has broken
the code once since. Our
daughter, the rebel.
Beans transition to middle school has gone smoothly,
if you dont count tween angst and the death threats to
her parents that come with 6:30 wakeup calls. Shes
acclimating herself to the waves of homework and the
waves of twice-her-size eighth-graders coming at her
full-speed in the narrow, 82-year-old hallways.
She rode to school with me for three weeks, until that
was deemed uncool and she began riding the bus.
Katie enjoys the morning solitude half of the bus 10
riders are asleep and the afternoon soap opera of
seventh- and eighth-graders talking about their
problems. Next year, a sixth-grader will get the
pleasure of hearing that from her.

Why couldnt these folks

come to middle school with Katie?
-2Pric
n

If 80% of life is showing up,

the 20% is laughing at Kirk
Funny thing happened on the way to
my first parent-group meeting as a
middle-school dad: I became president
of the parent group.
Im still trying to sort out the details,
but in showing up to volunteer my
services for Robinson's PTSO (Parent
Teacher STUDENT Organization,
though I don't think a student has been
to a damn meeting yet), I somehow got
volunteered straight to the top. Oh,
well, OK, no worries. Nothing I can't
handle.

Yes, thats a skeleton with Mrs. Brownes photo. Much too complicated to explain in a Christmas letter.

We said so long to some great Price-Harris Communications

Magnet friends in May. Six years seemed like six months with
terrific, dedicated people steering Katie away from journalism.
While recess remained her
favorite subject for six years, we
are grateful to Audrey Kirkman,
Sherri Leon, Lucia Kim, Darcy
Seal, Jaime Miranda, Kirby
Daetwiler, Karen Crowson, Susan
Browne, Laurie Smith, Crystal
Moore, Lauren Hirsh and Reed
Bishop. They made the other
6 hours, 50 minutes of her days
special, too. We love them all.

The family on Katies last day at PriceHarris. In the seven months since, my hair
has grown back to 1980s lengths.

Except ... little did I realize that the

deadline for students to turn in fall
fundraiser orders was three hours
earlier. So I go from cheerful neophyte
middle-school parent to copying 150
order forms in 12 hours. Good times.
We hope to have the fall fundraiser
completed by next fall. Meanwhile, I'm
putting one of my special skills to use -planning middle-school dances. There
were no riots after Novembers; I've
been told that's a good sign.
This area reserved for special personal messages from one of the
Seminoffs. If this box is not filled, weve instead chosen to
remember your friendship or family tie through silent meditation.

Other 2014 news and notes from the Seminoff house

Katie is by far the finest violin player in the 1300 block of

Tallyrand Street (age 12 and under). After a year in PriceHarris strings club, shes in her first year of middle-school
orchestra, enjoying it along with weekly lessons. We think her
Devil Went Down to Georgia solo in this weeks concert was
simply outstanding.

Kim celebrated her 23rd year at Berexco by shaving a penny off

each of the shareholder checks in 2014 and depositing them into
Katies college fund.

I celebrated my 30th year at The Eagle by putting KSmnff 2b

into every major-league box score in the paper on my
anniversary. For my 40th, Ill finish second in the U.S. Open.

Or we have nothing of value to say to you. Merry Christmas!

Love, Kirk, Kim, Katie, Marie, Curby, Tippy, Peanut Butter and
Buddy