Kyle Krichbaum

#1

When I received the syllabus on the first day of class, I instinctually began to leaf

through the impending assignments for the semester. When I noticed the paper about my
first performance. My mind instantly started to think about all of the possibilities for the
performance. It was then that I began to get anxious. My throat tightened, and I suddenly
felt very sick. It was a truly overwhelming experience where I found myself excited and
scared all at the same time.
The following words appear in my journal the night before my movement work:
Right now my nerves have my throat tight, my back weak/shaky, and I feel slightly light
headed. Thinking back to when we were first assigned to this work I can remember
much of the same thing. My throat instantly tightened up, and I suddenly felt very sick.
That is usually how it goes when I have a planned performance that I have to sit and
anticipate. Before the actual performance itself this is what I wrote in my journal; It is
the moment before the performance. Im shaky and my throat is tight, but I think/hope I
will be okay. It was the feeling I was expecting to experience. I was actually very
excited to perform for my peers when the moment before the music came. Prior to that
moment, none of those people knew what my voice sounded like, or what I could do in a
performance. This added to my nerves slightly because of the internal need to do well.
We all feel judged whether it is the case, or not. I have learned from the past that when I
am not nervous, I clearly do not care what I am doing. The problem for me is learning to

let go and not let those nerves manifest my body. I now know this is what causes
problems and habitual misuse.
#2

In the course of the first run through of my song many of my habitual tendencies

came out. I found myself staring a hole in the wall, I moved as though I was giving a
presentation, and I made nervous choices instead of purposeful ones. My mind was
running a million miles a minute during the first performance. I am thinking lyrics, and
then when I tell myself I already know what I am singing I start worrying about moving.
Is it enough? Is it too much? How am I coming across to my audience? The shaky hands I
experience before I perform turns into the purposeless movement during the song. Instead
of just being in the moment of what is happening to me, I get stuck in my head. This is
the number one thing I need to work on. Just be present with whatever is going to
happen; I cannot control every aspect of a performance, and why should I? Luckily, the
dryness in my throat subsides after the first line and I can continue through until the end.
#3

Beginning the hands on work together, the biggest change I noted was my breath.

I do not breath normally, but I use all oxygen I have which causes me to have a sudden
intake. Part of this can be helped in semi-supine. I breathed with a whispered ahh
which helped the back of my neck release and feel freer. I think so much about breath that
it does not occur naturally, but becomes an event. I can use that release in my neck to
allow myself the breath I need to come in and out without some kind of gasp. It also
helps me to think about my spine lengthening while breathing, and having that occur all
the way down the spine.

Another habitual misuse I was not aware of was the placement of my torso. I tend
to place it behind my hips where it feels correct; when in actuality when we moved my
torso where it needed to be lined up, I felt as though I was going to fall on my face. We
discovered my tendency to bend backward when I talk or sing. That all goes together
with the back of the neck tightening. I found further release of my neck when my
shoulders dropped. The day of my table lesson, we worked for quite some time on
releasing my shoulders. It is completely habitual for me to keep them up when I do any
sort of activity. Walk, talk, sing, and even breathe! This makes sense to me because
breathing is such an event, my shoulders fly up to help get in all of the oxygen my
body needs to intake. Many of these habitual misuse tendencies steam from the fact that
I used to be substantially heavier than I am now. The weight was lost, but the habits I
formed by carrying my much larger self around have stuck with me.
#4

One element I can work on in my plan for the daily life practice is to focus on

breath in semi-supine. Allow the breath to flow naturally in and out as I lay. Even sitting
here as I type this paper I feel myself stopping the natural flow of breath and taking in a
deep breath when I need it. I hope with strict semi-supine focus to alleviate this misuse.
Another area to target will be on tongue and jaw tension. I will be working to release
those places because it is connected to the tension that eventually carries to the tightness
in my throat and the holding on the back of my neck. My shoulders, which seem to carry
the most stress, will also help with the release and extension of my neck when they are in
a relaxed position. Finding the middle ground between my shoulders flying upward and
forcing them down will be a big part I turn my attention to during my semi-supine work.

When I am not in semi-supine, I will be keeping aware of the position of my shoulders

and stopping the habitual rising action of them.
Combined with my work on breath in semi-supine, I will be working on my
stance. I have a natural turn out that occurs in my feet. I have learned that by rotating the
heels and not the toes, I can hold the in line position easier. It becomes more comfortable,
and with practice I will have better alignment through the leg. This will help not only
with my stance; it will give me a stronger more powerful base. An easy way to remember
to keep my feet parallel is making sure my torso is over my hips. The feeling of falling
forward, even though I know I will not, is the proper sensation to feel until my body
realizes that is where it needs to sit. Over time, by stopping the old misuse and putting
my body into the correct alignment, proper stance will become my new habit. My
performance preparations will no longer include holding my jaw tight until the music
starts, which causes an extraordinary amount of tension. Breathing in and out naturally to
allow my neck to be free, throat to relax, jaw to feel at ease, and help make breathing not
so much an event, but a natural occurrence. By getting out of my head and focusing on
my pre-performance routine, I will be better prepared to achieve a superior performance.