Expanding the Pie

Description
Change the frame of the negotiation from a zero-sum, win-lose game to a win-win
scenario where both sides can benefit more by working together on mutual benefits.
Use 'we' language rather than 'you' and 'I'. Frame the situation as a joint problem where
you both want to succeed and that you can both get more by working together.

Example
Two business competitors on an industry standards committee agree to settle
differences and promote the standard as this will help increase the number of
total customers, thereby giving each a greater market value.
A husband and wife who are negotiating about holidays and the ability to take
time off work reframe the situation as 'getting away together' and end up with a
decision that when one goes away on business the other will go along too.

Discussion
In many negotiations there is an assumption that it is win-lose, such that every gain that
one person makes leads to the other person losing an equal amount.
In a worst-case scenario (which is surprisingly common), the negotiation turns to conflict
and it all becomes becomes personal. The sense of fair play (or even getting what I need)
then goes out of the window as each player seeks to harm the other before they get
harmed themself.
'Zero sum' is a limiting perception and it is often possible for both people to gain,
especially if they collaborate.
'Expanding the Pie' comes from the metaphor where people are negotiating about a single
pie, such that where one person gets more of the pie it is clear that the other person gets
less. If both parties work together to get a bigger pie, then both can have more with the
same percentage division.

Log-rolling
Description
Make a range of requests, some of which are less important as well as those which are
critical for you. When pressed or making an exchange, concede on items which are lower
priority in order to get those which are higher priority.
You can also help the other side find the best value for them. Ideally, each person gives
things that is less value for them but is higher value for the other person.

Example
A person buying a car says that low cost and high performance are both
important.
When offered a lower performance car they use their stated priorities to help
reduce the price.
In a contract negotiation, the buyer tries to put in a number of strict sections
about timescales and product features. Later, they concede on some of the
features a little but keep the timescale which is more important.

Discussion
Negotiations often include concessions and exchanges as the players seek to find
agreement. In order to exchange you have to have something give away. If all you have is
things that are important to you, then you will lose out in any exchange. If, however, you
have items that you would like but which are less important, you can gain by exchanging
low value items for high value items.
The best way of doing this is to have items that are lf lower priority for you but which are
higher priority for the other party. Such low-for-high exchanges are often called elegant
negotiables (or 'elegant variables').

Lowball
Description
This is a method for buyers, where you start your bidding particularly low.
When negotiating a price on something, for example, it can help to know what constitutes
a reasonable range of prices, so do your research beforehand to find the seller's zone of
acceptability, then start at, or even below the bottom of their range. This may be justified
with an argument about why you are offering so little.
Be careful about starting out asking the other person what their price is, as this will
anchor the discussion (and their expectations) at a higher price.

Example
My son wants to stay out late, coming back at 3am. I start by saying that I want
him back at 10pm. We settle on midnight.
Sorry, sir, there's no call for these thing nowadays. It's damaged, too. The best I
can offer is...
A car dealer phones around personal adverts of individual selling cars, making
very low offers. If they are not immediately rejected, they follow up to see how
low a price they can get.

Discussion
Where you start sets expectations for the other person. When you start low, you can
always go up. When you start high, you can never go down.
Starting low creates an anchor for the other person, whereby they may well assume that
this is in a reasonable range. If their counter-bid is lower than you expected, then you will
end up with a good price. Even if they are below what you expected, do not settle
immediately -- at best split the difference and you may be able to nudge them even
higher.
A low start may well take longer to reach resolution, giving you more opportunity to find
out more about the other person and to build effective tension.
If the other person counters with a highball (or starts to walk away), this may be a signal
that they know what you are doing. Hold your nerve! If you collapse your position, they
may well take advantage and seek to pull you even further down.
Be careful about starting too low, as this may cause a betrayal response whereby they
leave without further ado, ignoring anything you may say. Extreme positions outside of a
range that may be considered fair can also be damaging to relationships (which may be
important).
The difference between your start position and your end position is a signal to the other
person about how much you have conceded to them. A significant difference will make them

believe they have got a bargain (a view you can encourage with sighs and supporting
words).

Good Guy/Bad Guy

Description
One person acts in an aggressive and pushy way, making unreasonable demands and
requiring compliance.
The other person then acts in a kind and friendly way, asking nicely -- and getting
compliance.
The good guy (or gal, of course) may apologize for the bad guy, or plead for compliance
because the bad guy is being horrible to the good guy too.
You can even do it as one person: be unpleasant and then apologize (you are under such
stress) and ask nicely for what you want.

Example
A husband and wife go out to buy some hi-fi speakers. He acts in an aggressive
and dominant way, complaining about the price and the sales person's
'condescending' manner. She takes the sales person aside and apologizes for her
husband and whispers a price at which she thinks he will buy.
A senior manager makes a presentation in an unpleasant and aggressive way,
demanding that tough goals are met. A liked line manager meets with her people
afterwards and says that if the goals are not met then she will be punished.

Discussion
This is a classic implementation of the Hurt and Rescue principle, which is a core element
of many persuasion methods. The bad guy acts to cause discomfort and tension, after
which the good guy offers escape and closure.
This is often seen on TV in the good cop, bad cop routine that is often seen in police
dramas. It can also be a subconscious pattern for parents, where one parent tries to
impose discipline by demanding compliance after which the other seems to get it easily by
gentle request.
What the good guy says often gives the target person an excuse to comply, allowing them
to rationalize their action and retain dignity. Sometimes the person complies with the
good guy as an act of revenge to 'teach the bad guy manners'.
Gender can make a difference here. While each can play either role, it plays to tendencies
and stereotypes if the controlling 'bad guy' is a man and the nurturing 'good guy' is a
woman.

Split the Difference

Description
When you have offered one amount (often, but not necessarily, money) and the other
person has named another amount, then offer to 'split the difference', to agree on a price
that is half-way between what you want and what the other person wants.

Example

It's lower than I really wanted, but I'd be prepared to split the difference.
You are offering 200. I want 300. For a quick sale, I'll accept 250.

Discussion
Splitting the difference, agreeing a solution that is half-way between two positions,
appears to be fair, and hence can be difficult to refuse.
The trick with this is to maneuver the situation such that a half-way position is actually still
a very agreeable solution for you.

Highball
Description
This is a tactic for sellers, where you make your first offer as high possible without
completely putting off the customer.
This can be helped by determining what constitutes a reasonable range of prices, so do
your research beforehand to find the buyer's zone of acceptability, then start at, or even
above, the top of their range.
Be careful about asking the other person what they will offer, as their first bid anchors the
discussion, quite possibly on the low side (although if they seem particularly keen to
settle, asking them might give you a pleasant surprise).

Example
A child who wants a parent to fund a night out starts by asking for about three
times as much as they really want.
When selling goods, a market trader starts with a high price. He then reduces the
price without being bargained with, using excuses about being kind, needing to
sell everything today and so on.
An estate agent takes buyers to houses that they cannot afford. This, however,
raises their desires and the house they eventually buy is more expensive than
they had anticipated.

Discussion
Where you start sets expectations for the other person. When you start high, you can
always go down. When you start low, you can never go up.
Starting high creates an anchor for the other person, whereby they may well assume that
this is in a reasonable range. If their counter-bid is also high, then you will end up with a
high price. Even if they are above what you expected, do not settle immediately -- at best
split the difference and you may be able to nudge them even higher.
A high start may well take longer to reach resolution, giving you more opportunity to find
out more about the other person and to build effective tension.
If the other person starts low, then it may be socially difficult for you to counter with a
high bid, although this can actually be a good move. Responding to a low bid with a high
bid indicates that you know they are low and may be seeking
If the other person counters with a low bid (or starts to walk away), this may be a signal
that they know what you are doing. Hold your nerve! If you collapse your position, they
may well take advantage and seek to pull you even further down.

Be careful about starting too high, as this may cause a betrayal response whereby they
leave without further ado, ignoring anything you may say. Extreme positions outside of a
range that may be considered fair can also be damaging to relationships (which may be
important).

Delays
Description
Use time to stretch out the negotiation, especially at critical moments.
When you feel you are being pressured or hurried, take a break or otherwise put off
making any decisions until you have thought things through.
When the other person is constrained by deadlines, delay right up to the wire.
Dangle something under their noses that makes them salivate and then do not talk about
it until later.

Example
Excuse me, I just need to go the to the bathroom.
Well, we could look at the things you want. But it's time to stop for today.
John will be very unhappy if this does not happen. I think I will call him in later.

Discussion
Introducing delays can be helpful for you to regroup and rethink.
When you have increased tension of some sort in the other person, whether it is desire for
something you may give them or some negative consequence of not agreeing, then a
delay can serve to heighten that tension as they focus on the good and bad possibilities.
The tension of delay is increased
cannot predict what will happen.

with

uncertainty,

when

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person