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Yale Sanford
Prof. Bryan
ENG 3331
6 April 2014
Personal Commentary
Congratulations, youve made it to the big show out of high school. Your grades are
high, youre ambitions guide your intuitions and you are well on your way to a successful
college career. You dont know what to expect but youve had enough experience in high school
to make sure that the first day on campus and on the field runs smoothly. It has been said that
the guys on the team are much bigger than you, but you feel as is if size often times isnt
correlated to performance on the field. Your head high, shoulders back you make it to your first
day of college baseball practice. Your cleats fresh out of the box, hat crisp and an unnaturally
sparkling clean uniform drapes on you as you step out of the dugout and onto the field; the day
that you have been working for has come. Brand new, youre quiet, but know what you have to
do to be successful. With excitement comes pressure as you start your journey into one day
being in the starting lineup and prove to the coaching staff that there is no one better for the job.
As a freshman, coaches and players expect you to grow into a powerful ballplayer and lets face
it, sooner rather than later. In the next couple of years there will be questions that you have
never heard before, moments where you will have to look yourself in the mirror and decide for
the betterment of your career and for your body. The path that one takes in baseball is unlike any
other, the ups, the downs, the spectacular and heartbreak all builds a young kid up and matures
him to the real world without him even noticing.
In here lies the dilemma that more and more baseball players are faced with every crisp
new spring. There are over 30,000 college baseball players in the United States and all of them
are looking to move forward and ultimately make it the major leagues. What does that mean to

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the young freshman that barely knows where his classes are on campus? There is so much
competition in this business, yes business, and when we look at evolving television contracts for
colleges, schools arent only looking for the best possible athletes, but the best looking
athletes. Enter the mind of the freshman ballplayer, the trials and tribulations if you will on the
journey to make it to even brighter lights; and the choices that one must face in order to
encapsulate what the game, the coaches and fans are expecting out of an 18-year-old studentathlete who might be blinded by the bright lights and the ideals of an ever expanding game.
As a former collegiate baseball player, I have seen a lot of things, been a lot of places
and frankly have seen how quickly a nave freshman can make choices that not only affects the
remaining years on campus but also their future as a whole. Bigger. Faster. Stronger. Steroids.
Currently if you turn on the television there inevitably seems to be another baseball player
suspended because of a steroid allegation or conviction and as we dive deeper into the realm of
steroids we can see how vastly it trickles down and motivates even the most strongest minds to
give in. Lets be real for a second and imagine lacing up your cleats knowing that there is no
way that you will ever see playing time because the guy in front of you looks better than you.
Yes. Looks better than you. The beauty and art that is associated with baseball is being
disrupted by a movement that is not allowing a players potential to mature into an asset, but
putting players on the field that may have cheated the process. This isnt a public service
announcement that urges you to do something nor a call to action, this is a look into what lies
behind the fogged glass, a glimpse into the business that is interested in wins, money and glory,
and not the wellbeing of college kids who are on campus to walk out with a degree.
Money and wins both are the motivation that navigates what the individual program
wants and expects out of a ballplayer. The more prevalent the school, the more powerful, the

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more pressure there is to be not only a solid baseball player but a player that is aesthetically top
of the line. Back in my sophomore year playing college baseball in the city of Pittsburgh I was
lucky enough to be competing a high enough level where the money that I was receiving was
substantial towards my tuition and playing for a team that was ranked highly in the nation. To
put it into perspective there were twenty-seven members on the baseball team and only 3
sophomores or underclassman. The team was solid, big and just as scary on paper as we were on
the field. There I was, with my sophomore teammates, realizing what we were getting ourselves
into. This wasnt a typical Saturday at the ballpark; this was an assembly line that turned
scrawny underclassmen into powerful men that brought in money for the school. It clicked; I
wasnt playing the game that I loved anymore. The game that I have dedicated my life to and
most of my efforts to over the years was changing right in front of my eyes. I was competing in
an arena that was fake, which would rather utilize performance-enhancing drugs on athletes
before even thinking about the implications that may be associated with the drugs. The decision
not to use Peds for me was an easy one; but not for my teammates nor for the freshman that just
stepped foot back from winter break on campus and ready for the spring season to start. There
are expectations and if those expectations are not met there is another gullible young man who
is willing to sacrifice the future for a chance to live the dream and make it to the next level.
So it may be illegal for a ballplayer to use performance-enhancing drugs, fair enough.
But when we look at our college rosters today there are many ways around testing and ways to
not get caught. It was a normal practice day for me. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and headed to the
weight room where we lifted for an hour. After this we all went on our separate ways to class
and did so until practice at about 2 p.m. As a transfer into this school my sophomore year, I was
willing to do anything to make it into the starting lineup. I proved in the fall that I was capable

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of performing at the highest level and believed that I would be able to impact the team in a
positive way. After warming up and practice about to start, very quickly my coach called me
over and I will never forget that conversation. We joked around for a couple minutes just
clearing the air then he got to his main point and with a sternness that made that moment turn
from lightheartedness fun into an ultimatum. He looked me in my eyes and told me to follow in
the footsteps of my teammates, to listen to them, to trust them and to do what I need to do to
make sure that my body changed from being big and strong to insanely powerful and
competitive. So what was happening in this instance, I was being told to follow in the footsteps
of my team and take steroids in order to be the best ballplayer I could be. If this happened to be
your son, if he had to face that situation, if the only answer was to say yes what would he do?
What would you do? We all have to make decisions in our life some of these decisions have the
power to define who you are as a person and possible alter the remainder of your life.
That moment and that moment alone drove me out of the game that has followed me as I
matured through the years. I was reading some articles on the powers of steroids and the
business of college athletics and how they are intertwined. Athletes in college are being paid, no
matter what you think, in terms of room and board and most importantly a scholarship. An
ESPN sports writer by the name of Tim Keown goes into detail about college athletes,
particularly baseball players and looks at the situation from the inside to out. He states, They're
just faceless guys wearing helmets and abusing their bodies for the entertainment of many and
the profit of some, (ESPN). This is what I was, this is what our sons may be facing in the
future, and I wake up every morning lucky enough to know that I made the right decision that is
bigger than most can fathom. There was nothing I ever wanted more than to play college
baseball in hope of perpetuating my talents to the majors. But, life hit, the culture of baseball

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threw me a hanging curve ball and I decided that I was going to let it pass me by because I knew
that I were to succumb to the pressures that were hanging in front of my face, the future that I
would be facing would be one of uncertainty and heavy risk.
We do not know our futures, nor do we sometimes want to face the truths associated
with the unknown. College baseball is an animal that most pet but do not own. I have lived the
days where the snow is pouring on a flawless orange diamond and the ice has managed to seep
into your shoes making it unbearable to walk, but I did it anyways. I did it because I was playing
for myself, my family and when I realized that I would be untrue to myself and most
importantly neglecting the relationship with my family I had to walk gracefully away from the
game that meant the world to me. As a student who is working on bigger and better things with
my life, I look back at how many hours and days that I spent working up to a goal, and once I
got there, being told that the only way in which to truly succeed was to put substances in your
body that could make you into a better ballplayer was devastating. Looking into the life of a
ballplayer is something that people do not take the time to see. They do not realize the trials and
tribulations that are associated with keeping grades up, relationships with friends and family and
most importantly preforming at a level so high that every day your job is on the line and
someone is out to take your spot.
To put all of this into something bite sized to digest is not an easy task but I feel that the
game of baseball is loosing its culture and honor behind its name. The game of baseball is a
game that should be respected and Americas past time. When we look at the all time greats,
they were of all shapes and sizes. Different ethnicities and provided fans with the best show for
the money being paid. The culture that we live in now and hand off to baseball is a selfish one
that wants success and wants it now. There is something to be said for an athlete to struggle for

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three years on the bench and then finally getting an opportunity as a senior to showcase their
skills and preforming well. It was earned, not given or served in a needle on the right side of
your stomach. We need to be teaching our youth that hard work breeds success and you can
find it in performance enhancing drugs or substances that have the ability to manifest into major
risks down the road. The journey of a ballplayer takes many paths, and I chose mine.

Works Cited
Keown, Tim. "Oft-ignored warning signs."Espn.com. N.p., 28 Dec 2012.
Web. 5 Apr 2014.

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