About the Author

Lilys upbringing was deprived and brutal. Her education was

minimal, leaving school with no qualifications. However, her
thirst for knowledge ensured a professional qualification in her
thirties and she became a successful businesswoman. She is
immensely proud of her success and that of her children. She now
enjoys retirement with her husband.

I would like to thank my husband Roger who always

supports my ideas.

Copyright Lily Graham (2015)

The right of Lily Graham to be identified as author of this work
has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of
the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the
publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this
publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims
for damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British
Library.

ISBN 978 1 78455 446 0 (Paperback)

978 1 78455 448 4 (Hardback)
www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2015)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LB

Printed and bound in Great Britain

Acknowledgments
To the many brave women Ive met whove fought back
against the extreme violence theyve suffered at the hands
of the men who purport to love them, then aided and
inspired other women to do the same Thank You.

CHAPTER 1

Sheena Miller dropped heavily onto the sofa. She was totally
exhausted. Leaning forward she held her head in her hands and
sighed and struggled to hold back the tears that were so close
to flowing. Another row with Tom, her husband, last night had
resulted in a black eye. But she had no time for exhaustion.
She had a five-month-old baby, Lucy to feed, who was at the
moment fast asleep. As she glanced at Lucy lying in her pram,
exactly as she had been since they returned from taking her
other two children to school, Andy who was eight and Susie
who was almost five, she was overwhelmed by the love she
felt for her baby, not only for her baby, but for all her children.
For Sheena was sure that without her children and her love for
those children, she would surely have gone mad by now. But
Sheena still had a half hour to an hour before Lucy would
wake for her feed and so she let out a huge sigh and tried to
relax. She would have to be calm and relaxed in order to
successfully breast-feed Lucy as she was extremely sensitive
to Sheenas moods. It was almost as though she worried with
her. So taking in some deep breaths she did her best to calm
herself.

It was a beautiful April morning and the sun was

streaming in through the window and as Sheena looked up she
couldnt help but notice how everything looked so lovely and
peaceful. But the reality was that nothing that morning was
lovely or peaceful in Sheenas life. The sun was shining
directly onto the mirror over the fireplace. She instinctively got
up from the sofa and found a cloth to wipe the dust from the
mirror. The last thing she needed today was for Tom to find
something else to be angry with her about. And dust was
something he would definitely be angry about. Whilst wiping
the mirror Sheena was shocked by what she saw, and for a
moment it stopped her in her tracks. Not just the bruises on the
face looking back at her, although they were bad enough, no,
shed seen those in the mirror last night, it was the fact that an
old woman was looking back at her that shocked her. She
leaned forward, closer to the mirror trying hard not to believe
what she was seeing. Where was that young woman with the
sparkle, hope and excitement in her eyes? Was this woman
looking back at her really only twenty-eight? Where did that
lovely young woman go? Sheena shocked and distressed at the
reality of her reflection ignored the dust and sat down again on
the sofa as the despair that was in danger of overwhelming her
was threatening to reduce her to tears.
As she went over the incidents of the previous night she
knew that she had deserved everything that she got from Tom.
She had pushed him too far. Thinking about it now she
wondered where she had found the courage to challenge him in
the way that she had. But she had certainly suffered for it. But
for now she would have to decide how to get him into a good
mood before he got up. For there was no doubt in her mind
that if he got up later today in the same frame of mind that he
was in when he went to bed, then it wouldnt only be her who
suffered, it would be the children too. She would have to do
something to make things better by the time Tom woke up.

A wicked smile played across her mouth. Her face now a

complete contrast to that of just a few moments ago. She knew
what she would do. But the timing had to be right. Timing was
everything. Tom may well be a bully. He may well frighten
her. Whether he was physically abusing her, sexually abusing
her, or simply verbally abusing her, there was no doubt that he
frightened her. But he was also easy to fool and she would use
all her cunning, lying, feminine wiles and anything else
within reason, to placate him and put him into a good mood.
He might hit with his fists but he thought with his dick! She
held her hands over her mouth as she laughed out loud at her
own thoughts. Sheena hated sex and was at a loss to
understand how anyone could actually like sex. But she had
seen enough films and read enough books to know what she
was supposed to do. Timing though, she must get the timing
right.
Sheena would go up to wake him about fifteen minutes
before she had to go and pick up the children from school. She
would take a cup of tea up to him then quietly strip naked and
slip into bed beside him. She could see it all now in her minds
eye. After all, she had done it often enough before but still he
never realised what she was actually doing! His Dick would
stand to attention the minute she got into the bed and the
following scenario would be played out:
Tom Ive been thinking about you all day. I really
couldnt wait. She would whisper to him as she climbed on
top of him placing his Dick inside her. Come on Tom,
quickly, she would say. Oh youre so good. Do it quicker. I
cant hold on, she would plead. Then she would pant and
moan in all the right places not that she knew where the
right places were she just knew that he didnt seem to know
the right places either, so it didnt matter. What mattered was
making sure he was happy and most of all, making sure of it
quickly! And so she would praise him and tell him how good
he was. And it always worked. It never took more than a few

minutes so the end result justified the means. Normal sex for
Tom only ever took a few minutes, once he had come then he
was finished then she would give him his cup of tea and tell
him that she had to hurry to get the children. He would
complain of course.
Why didnt you wake me earlier? he would say.
Are you sure we havent got time for one more go?
Sheena would reply to the effect that she knew how hard he
worked so didnt want to wake him too early and that she was
also so, so disappointed. And she would sound perfectly
genuine! She would normally wake him after she got home
from picking up the children. Sometimes on these necessary
early occasions like today, he would say, Ill stay here till
you get back, then we can have another go. Sheenas reply
would then be that she couldnt wait and would hurry back.
But of course a teacher at school would hold her up over
something or other. Or another mother would need to talk to
her, perhaps to apologise for a mix up between her son and
Andy. However it would occur, there would be something to
delay her return, and as he had to leave for work at 5.30pm
then there would only be time to quickly get his tea eaten
before he left. On most occasions he would already be up
when she returned. Oh, Sheena, you can be so devious at
times, she said to herself.
Sheena couldnt really understand why Tom should enjoy
these experiences, because she knew very well that her
enjoyment meant nothing to him. There were many occasions
when he would come home in the early hours of the morning
and just climb on top of her. She would pretend to be asleep
she would hear his motorbike pull up onto the drive and then
she would steel herself against the cold that she knew she
would feel when he came to her. Her heart would beat fast, but
with fear rather than excitement, and she was scared, for she
knew that if he realised that she was awake then the whole

thing would last much longer and probably be much more

involved.
It was really important to her that she showed no signs of
being awake not an easy thing to do, especially in the winter!
The next thing she would hear would be his key in the door.
Her heart beating even faster she got herself into the best
position to make things as easy as possible for him. She would
lie on her back with her legs slightly apart, probably with one
arm on the pillow and the other just lying gently across her
chest and, of course, her eyes firmly closed but not in such a
fashion that they looked closed with force or fear, nothing that
would give her away! If he spoke to her then she wouldnt
answer. Then he would just climb on top of her and get the
business done. As if she could possibly be asleep and stay
asleep when he was cold and icy after coming off his
motorbike! But as long as she had no knickers on and her
legs were apart, then that was all he needed. And he seemed to
firmly believe that she was asleep, thank God! He would
delight in telling her later in the day that hed had her that
morning his words without waking her. And he would
actually be pleased with himself for that. He would consider
that to be the act of a good husband, not disturbing her. Sheena
would have moaned softly during the event and so she
would say in return to him, Oh youre so considerate, Tom. I
thought I was dreaming! She shook her head at the thought of
how easily he was to fool, and thought how stupid he must
really be. If ever there was a case for a man thinking with what
was between his legs, then that was surely it.
It was so funny that it was actually sad, for although
Sheena didnt like sex, actually not liking sex was far too mild
an expression, because in fact she hated it with a vengeance.
Tom was the only person shed ever had sex with and even on
the first occasion hed taken her by force and made her believe
that no one else would ever want used goods, and so he told
her that she would now be his forever. But nevertheless, she