Henceforththeunconsciousweighsfallacyfromreality,walkingoutonourdaughter,ceedingherlifeto

whitedressedfigures,mindchurningourearlierarrival.Whenaflittingmalefigureacrosstheemergency
hallway,camebeforebeingledonbyanothertrainee,throughacrystalanimationchangingourproper
evanescentreflectionsofthegeometricplacedglazedpartitionsalongourwayoutoftheemergencyarea.
AsMartineandI,werelefttoroam,withananxiouseyesightreturntoourbabydaughter.Intheroundabout,
toavirtualrealityoftwowaymirror,weweren'tmeanttoseeafullspectruminachangingsunlight.Instead
apartialresolutionofduality,letcreepingguilt,stirs.shimmeringfearinmindoutofthetenebrousentrance
tothebuildingclosedforthenight.
Withtimeonstandstill,arainbowdreamarousedavisionofourearliertraildown,throughanapparent
waterfilmacrossthecorridorplateglassdoors.Shadowlessatthetopoftheindistinctslightslantedfloor,
bathinginaheavenlyuniformfluorescentlighting,asymboliccricketfieldofplayers,indistinctofranksor
gender,reminderlikespectators,
Keepouttillcalled
!
Atalistlessmomentretrievedinthewaitingroom,Iwassurprisedbytheemergentagitatedfigureinawhite
outfitswerveandupcomingforthedoorway.Ipausedfromditheringupanddownalongthechainlinked
andproofrecumbentchairs.Thetraineenurseearlierandouttheteam,withaponytailsweepleftuslike
childrenswirlingoffatthethreshold.There,hurtbyaninestimableleaf,thetraineemaleexploitinga
physicianarrogance,inanabrupthaltpiercingeyesturningawaywithasweepingeyesighttrackingbackhis
tracks,hevoicedafewcurtword,saying,"[Dutch]Thatthefatherofthechildfollowme!"
OvermyshoulderMartineexpressingtheinconceivable,withaforthcomingnarcissisticouterbodygenie.In
herimpatientmoment,IquestionedmyrelevanceinthemidstofFlemings.Bysighttrailinginsilence,
callingafterthedistancingfigure,
DidIquitewellunderstandyouDoyouwantmetofollowyou
?Ashe
didn'tbudge,Imovedoff,whileMartineinahesitantretrieved,eyesshamedbeenleftfeelingnaked.

Harmedbyafailedrecognitivemaleglimpse,orthegiftofbeenportrayedbyamereeyesightbrushstroke,
shefallsbackinheradvance.
Withoutresponsefromthetraineephysician,Isetoffthroughthewaitingroomdoorwaytoanaccelerating
stepgoingafterthedarktuftsofhair.Caughtsightofhimstretchingoutarighthandandpressingwithan
ephemerichunggaittoclearthewaterfilmintotheemergencyarea.IponderedoverleavingMartinebehind.
WheninturnIpressedtheplateglassdoorleaf,ceasedbyagripandheldopentakingaresolutestance.
Hailingthetraineephysician,withaneyequitheldinsuspense,thefacelessfigureintheleadinggridof
whitetilesuptheslightslantingcorridorfloor.Inlineofsighttoafardistantemergentsculpture,features
thewaitinggrizzly'surgeon'immersedinthemiddleofthesnowwhitecorridor.Hesitantundertheregardof
amaster,thetraineephysicianheldhisstepmidwayup.Showinghisface,receptivetomywords,"[Dutch]
Isthechild'smotherallowedtocomewith?"Whichherelayedacross,echoedbackthe'surgeon's'reply,"
[Dutch]Yes,shecan.Letheralsocomealong."
ByaneyesignalretransmittedbehindtoMartine,Ilethersprightlymoveon,asIturnedandfocusedonthe
'surgeon'offleftandthenthetrainee'sfigurespenetratetheblindpartitiondisappearingfromview.
Approachinginanelanswerving,instinctiveluredaway,foracuriousglimpseindiagonalacrossthe
desertedhallway,atthestilldeepcurtainfoldofacubicleformysteriousmedics,equipment,areassuring
signofourbabygirlbeingattended.
Inasizablearchitecturaltoiletrecesstoaprobableblinddoorway,swifttoapace,Ienteredasilentreigning
office.Onasecondimpressionamessroom,striking,atanacuteanglealongthelateralwall,butnot
recognizableintheirwhiteoutfit.Thetraineephysicianabreastthenurse,fingersrolledovertheedgeat
eithersideoftheirbuttocks,bylitteredstretchedworktopwithparaphernalia.Intheirjointsecreteglareand
insistenteyebeamsacrosstheroom,Ifetchedtheslandering'surgeon.'
Ceasedinasculpticgesture,throughpeeringeyesthatspeaks,
Youseewhatisgoingonhere
?Atarm's
lengthloud,the'surgeon'heldfarfromhisearanunyieldingsilenthandsetreceiver.Expressedinitself,by
thedroopofalongspiralingcordoverthevoidafewpaceaway.Inviewoftheprolongingcorridor,
connecteduptoacoldcradleinthefarcornerpillar,withanopenlinetotheoutsideworld.
Skeptic,pacingarattlesnakepit,inviewtheinsistent'surgeon'wigglingthelureofahandset,Isoughtto
eavesdropinontheline,keepingfarfrommeddlingin.Approachedthesuggestivehandsetlargerthan
reality.Atspeakingdistancehesaid,"[Dutch]Shedoesn'tunderstandwhatI'msaying!"Distinct
mischievousheldbackfromhandingoverthehandset,untilIheardhimoutsaying,Youspeak...Hesitant,
allayingamoralthreshold,stretchingaplasticsmileattenuatinghisdespicableplotwithafinalemphasison
...toThem!Iwasreluctanttofallintothechildishgame,egggrippedmydissipatingescape,withanadded
contempt.The'surgeon'sidesteps,sneakedawayfrommyfieldofsight,asIreluctantly,withoutthebreeze
ofathought,broughtthereceivertomyearandlistenedtoadeadsilenttube.
Intheglitchofamomenttoanunyieldingspeakerontheline,listening,andslowIswirledaroundto
questionthe'surgeon.'Laysightonthefigurecomingoutofadistinctivegreatercirclingparcour.Distinctive
shortcuttheearlierpairoftrainees'eyebeams,inamannerpromotedforthepurposetoasenior
collaboratingrank.Hesitantatcrossingthethreshold,avirtualquicksilvermirrorportrayinghiscowardice
quickexit.Afootout,andoneinside,hechosefromafacinglegofthedoorjamb,toturnsbysight,and
checkouthowfarIgoton.
Keptinthelimelightofatheatricalspeechlessscene,choreographedbythe'surgeon'andcollaborators,and
bytheiruncomfortablesearchlightbeamofeyesight,Imetamorphosedmyselfintoamedievalspy.Cold
listenedforanintruderinthesilentpipe,expandinganeighborhoodcircle,byadialecticcolloquial

password,fortheresonance,"SchildtenVriendt."InthemicrophoneIdivulgedmyrustedappartenance.A
childhoodflemish,screeching,earsbreakingsyllabletheseriesofhingesofphrasecreakingtheweathered
oldwoodengate,saying,[Dutch]Ihavemydaughterhereandsheneedstobetransferredtoanother
hospital?
Atsuchmoments,Iexertpatience,turningsightawayfromtheblindwallaninadvertentslowsearchforthe
vanished'surgeon'whilelisteningtotheacoustic.Inthedistancearousingabreathing.Byanincreasing
volumeawakensadragon'sanger,anddissonantofthepassword,afemalevoicesquawks,[Dutch]Idon't
understand!
Iasked,withoutdiscardingDutch,"[French]Whatlanguagedoyouspeak?"SeekinginWallonia,or
Brussels.InquicksuccessionrepeatedthesamewordssummingupinEnglish,assignofgoodwill
communicatewiththewomanonherterms.
ThemomentaryrealitymorphedafardistantallWhiteCongoleseschooltomind.Onthewoodenclassroom
bench,Iraisedafingerinanswertotheteacher,"WhoisWalloon."Hereyessweptpastme,leavingme
behindasashadowinexistentinthesenseofdifferentfromclassmates.Asfatherhadlaiddowntherules
afterhearingusspeakFrenchamongsiblings.Inanauthoritarianvoiceordered,"YouspeakFlemishat
home,"gesturingamongourselves,"...andFrenchatschool!"
Inanauthoritariansighofrelief,likeanunconcedingteacher'straditiontheconstraintsofforeignexigencies

inaninstantadespisingelementaryschoolteachersurprisedbyanartworkwhichshiftedmefromthe
backofaclassroomtothefrontrow
hervocalcordsattuned,andinaoilytoneofvoicesaid,[French]
French.
However
,Ithought,whethersheisfromWalloniaorBrussels,atsuchamomentthought,
I'mgladshe
emergedfromhercommunicationreticence
.
AtsightIcaughtupwiththe'surgeon's'hintacrossthethreshold.Tohissurprisefacingnowheretogothat
night,thanbehindthedeepfoldsofthealcove,assuringunderintensivecarethechild'stransfertoaclinicby
theparents'placeofresidence.Hesitantshiftyeyes,byobligationretrievingtotheroom,exposingthat
childishunexpectedattitudeattheprofessionallevelofmaturityforemostcaringforpatients.Inbodystaying
behind,relayingacharacterialrightsspanningavirtualbarbedwireoftherefusaltocoordinateacrossa
thornylanguageborder.
Suchfather'scartesianspiritwhiffsthegrizzly'surgeon'inahesitantstepinaselfeffacingmoveupcloser,
enablingmetorelayhiswordsoverthephone.Isaid,[French]We'llneedanambulance.Certain
conditionshavetobefulfilled."Withoutquestioningthe'surgeon's'motive.Howeverexigentthesedeemed
absurd,Iheardmyselfrepeat,"[French]Theyare:theambulancemustbeaccompaniedbyadoctor.The
doctormustbeaccompaniedbyanurse,totransfermybabydaughter."
"[French]Why,doyouwantadoctoraccompanied,"unambiguousthefemalevoicedidn'thesitatethrow
backatme.,
InreplyIsaid,"Thosearetheinstructionsgiventomehere.Wehaveacriticalsituation,ourdaughterhasto
haveconstantspecializedsupervision."
Apparent,hardofhearingattheotherendoftheline,Irepeated,"[French]Ourdaughter'spediatricianhasa
consultingservicesattheBaronLambertMemorialHospital,inBrussels."Wondered
NeedIrepeatmyself
?
Hervoiceblaredtolive,inamomentofaneutralintrigue,asking,[French]DoyouspeakEnglish?"

[French]Yes!"Isaid,openingatelepathicoverexposedsluice,submergedinawhitecloudofthemind.
Emergent,sculpturingasilverlininginthelight,outlinedapparentatareceptiondesk.Ihadvisualstanding
beforeher,withanarmraisedhandsettotherightofherhead,readingherthoughts,deducedstressed.
Influencedbyourdaughter'searliertransfer,ridingwithintheambulance,whenahospitalisamerenotion
inthetenebrea.Withoutaplaceofferingtofetchmydaughter,thewomanwithaknackatbringingup
contradiction,inaconclusivetoneofvoicesaid,[French]Ihaveaproblem!I'mtheonlydoctorhereatthe
hospitalandIcan'tleavetheplaceunattended."
[French]Iunderstand,butcan'tyougetareplacementforyourself,"Iasked.
[French]Can'tyougetanambulancefromthere,"thewomandoctorreplicated,andhearthedropofa
thought,
Whyshouldwetaketheresponsibilityofgoingoutacrossthecountry
?
[French]Holdthelineforamoment,"Ipleaded,bringingmyfreehandcoverthetransmitter.Iaskedthe
'surgeon'creepinguptostandatspeakingdistancebesidesme."[Dutch]Couldn'tyousendoutanambulance
fromherewithadoctor,"
[Dutch]Wehavetohandoverthechildtothem.Thatcanonlybedonefromhere,"Thesurgeonsaid.A
scenarioIimaginedcrumbled,wherehospitalandmedicswithambulanceandrigmarolesasabody.
Checkmate
,Iexclaimedtomyself.Atsuchacriticalmomentachildinacoma,Ideducedisolatingneither
FlemishspeakingastheFrenchinstitutions.WhenMartinesteppedinsidethestaffroom,the'surgeon'asked,
[Dutch]Isn'tthereanotherhospitalyourchildcanbesentto,eitherauniversityhospital?"
Atsuchmomentsoflucidity,spursMartine'sinnatetalenttoenvy.Mappingaworldinmotion,acquired
talentoperatingaswitchboardattheinternationallawfirm.Martinesaid,"I'llcallDoctorChatelaine,"
steppinguptothewallcradle.Revivingtheapparentstoneface,dressedinamormonblacksuitsappearing
intheroomthemorningaftershegavebirth,impressivedragoneyesfondlingourdaughter.Fromamental
directory,atthetipofherfingers.Shedialsthepediatrician'snumber,andthefamilygeneralpractitioner,
customaryrelayedtoareceptioncentral,nottowonderneitherofthesemenwereaccessibleonaSundayin
themiddleofnight.
Thetraineedoctorandnursehadturnedtheirfacestowardthewall.Seatedbentovertheworktop,letbe
overheardfromcontactcalls,"Erasmus,StLuc"andsomeother'Saint's'hospital.Neithermeetinga
pediatricrequirementfromtheghostlywomanphysicianmomentaryappearfromthealcovewhitecurtains.
Swiftlyreturnedtoourbabydaughter,afterexpressingherself,"Nothinglessapediatricianaccompanied
bythreenurses,forthejourney!"Deemedconfusing,tohavemisunderstoodaraisedlevelofsecurityfrom
anearlierexaggeration.Discreetasashadowcrossingtheroomforagradualexit,Iheardthesarcastic
'surgeon's'remark,"[Dutch]You'llseeFlemishhospitalsthat'swhereonefindtheseneeds".
Indeed.
Inanappeasingatmosphere,MartineandI,wefoundourselvesoutsidetheroom,curiositystrickenacross
thehallway,inquisitivetoanobviousblindintensivecare,tofindourdaughter.Iturnedclockwisefromthe
deepcurtainfolds,meetingMartinecomingoutofherroamingaboutanticlockwisecircle,pleadingtothe
wrongperson,"Can'tweseeheryet?Awhilelater,comingoutofanotheropposingmerrygoround,my
patienceexhausted.Byaninvoluntarysweepingmovement,Ipinchthecurtainseamandpeeredthroughthe
slitclearingthepediatricwoman.Onthealert,shelayssightonmyintrusion.Surprising,infriendlytoneof
voice,shepleaded,formachineandpatient,[Dutch]Canwehaveanotherfewminutes?"

InretrivetoanswerMartine'look,Imetoverhershoulderthe'surgeon.'appearingtostrollawayfromthe
blinddoorwayengagingthehallway.Nosooner,distractedIwentafterMartine'sbrighteningwideeyes,
followingherbeamofsighttoseethepediatricphysicianwalkatarm'slengthfromtheaccordioncurtain
fold,andclearinganailesviewintothedepthofthealcove.Equipmenttowered,whichIassociatedearlierin
aparamedicdynamics,byinadvertentglimpseatthefashioneddisplaywithneonchangingdials.The
physiciansaidinherpassage,[Dutch]Youmayproceedtoenter."
[Dutch]Thanks,"Isaid,andsteppedon,seekingbysightoverthebulgyelongatedwhitesheet,reminiscent,
mybaby'sgracioussleepymoonface,atwhateverailsherathomeandsinceherninthmonthherhecticdays
atNytzanimCreche.Distractedovermyshoulder,bythepediatricphysicianvoicing,"Sheispeacefulnow
Takeachairandsitdown."Martineoustawingspantipsofthehandsbypassingmeinawildstep.Leaving
metoresigntothefootofthegurney,towatchMartinepullthereignsofheremotiveassaultdowntheright
aisle.Eyesdiving,shepreysforherdaughter'sface,bothhandsleadingtheway.Reachinguptotheheadof
thegurney,withoutabalancedstanceleansover,caresshershorttuftofhair.Softstrokingherbaby's
templesandslowaroundherbabycheeks.Martineapproachedfurtherheaddown,andpeckinghercheek,
whenthepediatricwomaninasurprisedwrongdoingalarmedtoneofvoice,turnedheadstotheaccessgap,
atsightingtheresonantwords,"Don'ttouchher!"
Whileourbaby'sbrainshakenfromthechannelsofthemind,acomatothebody,Iquestioningmydaughter,
HownearwereyoutodyingYoupulledthrough
.Reasoning,whatmyminddidn'tregister,asmyeyes
failedtosee,whatherbodywentthrough.
Indesperationattheweightdraggingdownmytiredbody,myeyesearmarkedthevacantchair,towatch
Martinehumblyretrieveherselftositdown.Sorrowfulinconflict,shakenatkeepingabreakofcontractwith
herdaughter,atthefearofbeinghailtosurprise,inwrongdoing.Atcause,thepulledbackofherwandering
handundercoversalongherbaby'sbody.Repeatinginmindtoherself,
No!No!IfItouchLouloushewill
starthavingfits!
Atlengthoftimeschemedtorecuperatetheonlychair,inadvertentwanderingeyessweeps
abovethealcovesonthefarendwallclockneartheceiling,thedialread11:10o'clock.Whilediligent,the
pediatricwomanoccupyingherself.Withoutarousingthealert,whenthebodyofourbabyinaapparent
improvisedgrip,tremorsvisiblyshakingwavesthroughthelinen.Shetakestheopportunityatreminding
Martine,saying,[Dutch]Yousee.That'scausedbyinsertingthethermometer!"
Anursebroughtadditionalchairsintothealcove,oneofwhichIpushedinthecorner,andseatedwith
Martineintheprolongation.Thepediatricwomanenteringtoldus,"Theambulanceisonitswayfrom
Brussels."Sheseated,wakingateitherend,acrossamountainousrangeofthesnowwhitelinen,seizures
fewerandmilderatlengthoftime.Thetoweralongsideher,ofaheartbeatindicatorstayingaroundthe
160's,Eventuallydroppingtothe140's.Attimespeaking,wonderingwhenstabilizedagain,
Isn'ttheworst
over
?
Focusedonourbaby'sface,movingherlittlehandtohernose,thepediatricwomansaid,"[Dutch]A
movementofnormalization.Thenherlittlehandrubbedlazilythetubescomingfromhernostrils.[Dutch]
That'sasignshe'scomingto.Themovementisaconscientiousreactioninrelationtouncontrollable
convulsions."