What A Life I Have Led

By Julieska Morales

I guess I should start from the beginning. I was born right here in Philly on December 19,
1995. First one in the family to be born in the US, I might add. My father, mother, brother, and I
lived about two years here before they decided to go back home. I would go more into detail
about that, but unfortunately I dont have any immediate memories of those years I was two
after all. Puerto Rico, our home and where we lived another 10 years. During those 10 years I
made a lot of friends and memories. Like how all of my birthday parties were done with the
Christmas Party for my class because it was always close and my mother would pay everything.
Or the Thanksgiving Day Race I never participated in, but always managed to ruin my mothers
chances of a peaceful home by winning a baby chick in the raffle. Or how often some of my
friends and I would catch lizards and caterpillars behind the school and bother the other girly
girls. I suppose more often than I care to admit I miss those days. Specially when I arrived again
at my birth city at the age 12 on August 23, 2008, knowing nothing and no one.
In our first year here at the US we lived in North East Philly, in one of those big houses
with the attic instead of the basement. It was at the corner of a street called Ripley. (It seemed
like the type that you would say street because block just wasnt good enough.) I loved that
house, and I have a lot of great memories from just that one year. Including how I became friends
with the front neighbors daughters and volunteered at a horse farm that whole summer. There
was also that one time my sister and I tried - and aimlessly failed to ride bikes right after a
snow storm. That same year I also asked for a snow storm as bad as the one I was born in. I
wanted my first year back home to be like the year I was born. I still wish for this every year,
surprisingly enough Ive gotten it almost every year. Unfortunately that was our only year at that
house. My father could no longer afford the house we lived in and we ended up moving to north
Philly on January 4, 2009. At the moment I didnt really understand why we were leaving and I
was very angry at my father for moving us from our home again. The new house slowly started
to grow on me, and with that came sometimes I really didnt enjoy.
In 2010 I graduated from Fairhill Elementary School. In that school I learned that my
love for art was much stronger than I thought it was. I learned about painting and drawing from
different perspectives. I learned about oil pastels, chalk pastels and lots of other mediums and I
wanted to learn about all of them. I wanted to know everything I could about art or working with
art. After I left the school I went to Washington Carver Engineering and Sciences. Now as you
can see clearly by the name, art wasnt really what they emphasized on. I learned how to
program small robots and I liked it. I enjoyed working with computers and technology quite a
lot. It didnt however satisfy me as much. When my only friend at the school moved to a
different state, it wasnt enough to keep me at the school. I transferred to an online at home
school and it was going great at first! In 2011 the friend that moved away committed suicide for
being constantly harassed about his sexuality and I took it to heart. It was tough for me to know
that my only friend at the time was gone. I mourned him, but never really got over it, to this day
still it hurts to talk about. I guess thats with all deaths. I started to be careless about my
education, or anything that concerned me. I spent countless hours reading the journal he left

behind for me to keep safe, many nights staying up past 5am just to read it all over again. It was
a torturous routine I kept up for 6 months because in my head, this was somehow my fault. It
was not until I met a new friend that I managed to break the habit. And with this new friend,
came a new school and more hope.
When I switched to my third high school I found what I desperately needed, art classes. There I
met the art teacher and quickly grew fond of her. I wasnt in her class, but I would watch or visit
the room sometimes. I also met my new friend online and even though we werent in the same
school together it was fun to have someone to eat lunch with for a change, even if he wasnt
actually there. I would call him every day at lunch and we would talk about art. He introduced
me to a new form of art that I wasnt really aware of yet, and would change my life a lot. Digital
Art, which if you didnt know is art done with programs such as Photoshop, Paint Tool SAi,
Gimp, or even Microsoft Paint. He helped me find out more about it and we became really close,
really fast. A little over a year later he passed away of stomach Cancer. Again, this hit me hard
and fast. I began to lose interest in school again and everyone noticed. I kept to myself more and
more. Spoke less and less to the acquaintances I had acquired in school till eventually I didnt
speak to anyone at all. They took me in to speak to a counselor one day because I had blown up
and started crying in class. I couldnt keep it in anymore and I wanted to make it to bathroom,
but I didnt even get the chance to ask if I could be excused. We spoke for what seemed like
hours, but were only a few minutes. In that time he managed to get me to speak more than
anyone has ever been able to. We spoke about art and other things I had in common with my
friend, and he said he could make some calls and get me into the art class if that would help my
mourning. I had never said yes faster in my life and I counted the days till the new semester
started so that I could start art classes. It was the only thing I allowed myself to think of. I
pretended as if my friend never existed and looking back at that time, yeah it was a horrible way
to cope with it. But thats how I got through it. Art class was a huge success and I learned a lot
about different mediums, textures, shading, and other things that were beyond my imagination
before that class. I was sad and scared when that semester ended. They told me I wouldnt get
another art class next year. However, my teacher got me a chance at winning a full scholarship
for a summer program at one of the best art schools in the country. Tyler School of Art. There I
learned even more about art. About mediums I didnt even think could be used for art. I learned
how to draw and sketch with charcoal, how to draw still life and draw things in motion. (We
would sit on the sidewalk and draw what we saw.) I even learned how to manipulate wire and
plaster! It was a dream come true. All the while, learning how to do digital art at home. Of course
when the program ended and I got back in school the habits continued. I fell off the band wagon
and I eventually ended up going to the Online at home school again. That didnt last long.. Not
long at all, actually. I ended up dropping out within a few months. I felt as though I couldnt do it
anymore. The schools, the mean kids, and the loneliness were too much for me and Id had
enough of it. I told my mother only tidbits of how I was feeling and decided I needed some time
off. I told my grandmother and uncle that I wanted to visit her in Puerto Rico and she gladly paid
all the expenses. They hadnt seen me in 6 years, so as soon as they heard they agreed. Not only
that, but they owed me a flight back home as a gift for a Quinceaero we couldnt do.
The break did me wonders. I took the time and spent it with my family and even met
some of my uncles friends. I painted some scenery and I visited an art museum. It was
wonderful! I spent an entire month there and I was ready to come back home and be better. Not

only for myself, but for my parents as well. I felt like they deserved better and I would work hard
to make them proud of me. When I came back I suffered a few losses. A close friend of mine
committed suicide and a kitten I had gotten extremely attached to died. I would say that this took
a huge toll on me, and dont get me wrong I cried a lot. But by this time I had gotten so used to it
that I became a bit numb to deaths. I continued working through to get an education and found
Congreso! It wasnt till Miss Johanna took charge that I got a call back. I started in November of
2014 and met some really great people like my classmates Eric, Ronald, and Dante. Or some of
the wonderful instructors such as Mark, Andrew, Johanna, and Miss Victoria. I officially passed
my last test on Tuesday June 16, 2015. Man, what a great day that was for me. I was happy to
make my parents proud of me, but I wasnt quite satisfied yet. I started my application for
Harcum College the week before that because I had spent a lot of time researching and learned
that it was a fast paced school and they provided a scholarship to help. I wanted a challenge,
because I like the feeling of success. Its something I crave a lot. During those three weeks I also
started forming a business to sell my digital and traditional art as prints online. I also began
looking for jobs. I did everything I could to satisfy my need for success, surely developed from
all the failure I felt the years before coming to this program.

A program I am very grateful for. I wanted a program that would help me and motivate
me and move me in the right path towards becoming an Art Teacher. A path I subconsciously
knew I could handle, but needed a push to strive for. I want to prove that even though I lost my
way several times, I can do this and I will work hard for it. Thats who I am; Im stubborn,
determined, and really goofy. And hopefully this didnt bore you to death, but I wanted to show
how determined I am and I didnt think I could do that without first telling you my story.